#501st shenanigans
Rex: *addressing Torrent* Alright men, there’s going to be an “optional” training session tomorrow at sunrise.
Fives: Question?
Rex: *sigh* Yes.
Fives: Is Tup going to be there? I will boycott this training unless he is there.
Rex: Any particular reaso-
Fives: No, I think I make a strong point here.
Tup: Question?
Fives: Nope. No more questions, case closed.
*Domino Twins have just woken up*
Fives: Hey,
Echo: *time for the daily dose of dumbness*
Fives: *proceeds to ask a very dumb question*
Echo: Daily Dose acquired, goodnight!
Fives: Echo?
Fives: But it’s the day cycle… and people say you’re the smart twin.
Rex: Uhh, Sir, are you sure about this?
Anakin: Yeah, probably.
Ahsoka: Seems fun.
(They are standing on top of the Resolute, Anakin and Ahsoka want to have a race to the surface and see if they can use their Jedi cloaks as a parachute)
Rex: Not you too…
Rex: *sigh* You leave me no choice.
Rex: Kix, your presence is reque-
Anakin: I DON’T THINK SO, SNIPS TIME TO GO GO GOOOO.
(They jump off the ship as Kix looks exasperatedly at them from the observation deck)
Fives (he and a few others are behind Ahsoka): So, Commander, I want you to close your eyes, spin around and point directly at Echo. We’re gonna take five steps back and then change order.
Ahsoka: Okay…
(They step back and switch around, Ahsoka spins around and points to Echo, while here eyes are still shut)
Hardcase: Did you use the Echo-location?
Ahsoka: I don’t need to use echolocation… I can see your force presences…
Fives: Use the Echo-location.
Ahsoka:TheEcho-location?
Echo: Please don’t ask and just let me win this bet.
Jesse: Yes, THE Echo-location specifically for Echo.
Ahsoka: …that’s not how echolocation works…
Jesse: KIX!
Kix: Wait.
Jesse: Yes?
Kix: Can this wait until after caf?
Jesse: …yes?
Kix: Good, I’ll be right back.
Ahsoka: Uhh, Echo, why is Fives crying?
Fives: 7 years, 7 YEARS WHY??
Echo: We had a bet…
Echo: And the loser had to delete their blackmail collection of the other.
Echo: And I won… again.
Fives: SEVEN YEARS OF BLACKMAIL. I WAS SO SURE I WOULD WIN THIS TIME.
Ahsoka: Right…
*Rex walks in looking for Ahsoka*
Ahsoka: Rex, never let me place a bet against Echo okay?
Rex: *should I even ask* …Will do?
Kix: *gets a concussion from a battlefield explosion*
Jesse: WHAT DO WE DO?
Hardcase: WE NEED KIX.
Jesse: KIX IS THE ONE INJURED!!!
Kix: *sounds not quite conscious* Aren’t you both basic first aid trained?
Hardcase: We uhhhhh need to check response time and uhhhhhh FOR BRAIN DAMAGE.
Kix: Please for my sake, just get Coric.
Commanders + Rex
Wolffe: Alright
Wolffe: Does someone want to explain why I’ve had 5 troopers from 3 separate legions refer the Wolfpack as the Snap-Squad?? Own up.
Rex: …
Rex: It was the Twins.
Gree: Do we even need to ask which twins you’re referring to considering we’re all genetically identical?
Wolffe: Well, anyway… Rex when did you say we are seeing you next… I’ve just missed the 501st somuch.
Ahsoka: I know we can be a bit unorthodox which can lead to some… interesting situations.
Echo: Understatement but continue.
Ahsoka: But… should we help them?
Fives: Help who?
*They look up to see Jesse and Hardcase covered in who knows what again but this time someone’s dumped a load of sand on them*
Echo: …
Fives: No, they’ll be fine.
Ahsoka: But Kix will kill them for making a mess and Skyguy is definitely not gonna like the sandy aspect.
Fives: If we didn’t see it, we weren’t involved?
*Ahsoka and Echo nod*
Ahsoka: I can deal with Skyguy no problem… it’s Kix that I can’t talk my way around.
*Ahsoka, Fives and Echo are up to something*
Rex (who wanders in whilst their standing over the control pad of the mess hall’s support systems): What are you guys doing?
Fives: Oh absolutely nothing. You know we should probably go to the barracks to rest … in the barracks.
Rex: Right…
*The trio run off. Echo: That is why you leave the lying to us*
Kix: What were they planning this time?
*2 hours later*
*Anakin and all of the cutlery is stuck to the ceiling after the magnets mysteriously flickered on*
Anakin: SNIPS!!!
Ahsoka (who just found out Fives doesn’t believe in aliens): So… if aliens did exist what would they look like.
Fives (immediately responds): Green, big eyes, tall, no hair.
Ahsoka: Like this then? *holds up a picture of a Rodian*
Fives: No, that’s not an alien that’s a rodian.
Ahsoka: How about this *holds up a picture of Nute Gunray*
Fives: HE’S A SEPARATIST! AND ALSO A NEIMOIDIAN NOT AN ALIEN.
Ahsoka: *realises how strongly Fives does not believe in aliens* Okay…
*Aftermath of the latest Domino Twins prank*
Jesse: WHY DO I HAVE GLITTER ON MY BLACKS?
Hardcase: IT’S NOT COMING OFF.
Jesse: FIVES, ECHO!?!??!?!
*somewhere in the vents*
Ahsoka: Mission accomplished?
Echo: *thumbs up*
Fives: Yep!
*Fives and Echo are trying to prank Torrent*
Echo: We’d need a distraction in order to fill the washers with glitter in the first place.
Fives: What kind of distraction are you thinking of?
Echo: A Jedi kind of distraction.
*one hour later*
Ahsoka: ALRIGHT. GATHER ROUND. IT’S TIME FOR THE WEEKLY GAME OF ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS. TODAY’S PRIZE WILL BE THIS. *Ahsoka holds up a chocolate bar*
*visible confusion amongst the ranks*
Hardcase: Uhhh… Commander?
Ahsoka: Ahsoka but yes?
Hardcase: What is that exactly?
Ahsoka: *dramatically gasps as she prepares a 30 minute speech about chocolate and winks at the Domino Twins* YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF CHOCOLATE?
*Echo trying to talk to Fives who isn’t listening*
Echo: *sighs* RIGHT. I’M GETTING A TATTOO.
Fives: WHAT??! WHEN? HOW!?!? WJIFUEUAIJDGGSH
Kix: You’ve broken him
Echo: Now that you’re actually listening! No. I’m not getting a tattoo, that was just to get your attention.
*Fives is still having a breakdown over the fact that Echo said he would get a tattoo*
Hardcase (bursts into the barracks): GUYS WE HAVEN’T DONE OUR LEAVE WORK!!!
Jesse: LEAVE WORK? WHAT LEAVE WORK?
Hardcase: THE COMMANDER WAS DOING A TONNE OF RESEARCH AND I ASKED HER WHAT FOR AND SHE SAID LEAVE WORK THEN I REASLISED WE HAVEN’T DONE OURS, WHY AREN’T YOU PANICKING WE GET BACK TO COURASANT TOMORROW!!??
Jesse: …
Fives: …
Echo: You know we’re not Jedi? We don’t have to study Jedi stuff?
Hardcase: Oh…
*Fives and Echo are in an ‘interview’ with Anakin*
Anakin: So Rex told me you two are creative.
Anakin: In what ways are you creative?
Fives: We’re good at creating problems-
*Fives gets elbowed in the ribs by Echo*
Echo: And by that he means problems for the enemies.
Fives: Uhh… Yeah! We’re good at making their lives difficult.
Anakin: Aaand interview PASSED. Welcome to the 501st. Or as other people call it, “the Home of the Problem Children” or “The Chaos Legion.” I’m sure you’ll both fit in perfectly.
Fives:Oh we will.
I’ve been making a batch of 501st (plus Cody, Fox, and Wolffe) alignment memes so here’s the first one fresh out of the oven
