#abadar
Mid boss-battle, which is mostly narrative.
Ranger Player: So I go up to Skeletor who is berating all of his comrades. And I’m just really annoyed and I’m like “who do you think you are?” and he says “Who do I think I am? WHO DO I THINK I AM? I’M-” *Ranger player points to druid player*
Druid Player: JOHN CENA!
Ranger Player: AND JOHN CENA RIPS THROUGH SKELETOR’S CHEST, KILLING HIM.
We arrive at the Dungeon, and approach the fifth cell of allies.
DM: The next cell contains a human man, he has a whip at his side and a pretty cool hat.
Cleric: That’s a pretty cool hat. Do you have another one?
Indy: No. Indiana Jones, pleased to meet you.
See who was in the fourth cell here.
We arrive at the Dungeon, and approach the third cell of allies.
DM: In the next cell is a scrawny man, sitting on the cell floor, with a really big sword next to him.
Ranger Player: Is it He-Man?
DM: I don’t know, is it? He shouts “BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL-” and suddenly gets really buff.
See who was in the second cell here.
We arrive at the Dungeon, and approach the second cell of allies.
DM: You see a man in an orange jumpsuit with a small circle patch on his chest. He has large, spikey black hair and is doing pushups with one finger.
Ranger: Don’t worry, I’ll let you out!
Goku: Oh don’t worry about it, I can get myself out! *he rips open the bars* I was just waiting for a formidable opponent worth leaving for! Hi, I’m Goku!
See who was in the first cell here
We’ve just emerged from a portal in a sewer in Cheliax, and we’re taken into an ally by a group of guards to see “The Governor”.
DM: Lightning strikes and you see a figure standing on top of a nearby building. Suddenly the figure drops down, and singlehandedly starts beating all of the guards down. He has a long black cloak on, and a mask with pointy ears.
Druid Player: … Is it Batman?
DM: …..
Leveling Up
Gnome Player: (DM), I need you to make an exception to your rules and let me take a spell from the advanced spellbook.
DM: We always do this, no.
Gnome Player: It’s called vomit twin.
DM: …
Gnome Player: …
DM: …
Gnome Player: Would you like to hear more?
DM: You’ve caught my attention. Proceed.
Gnome Player: You say the Titan Centipede in stunned?
DM: Yes.
Gnome Player: So if someone were to be in it’s mouth… would it immediately try to swallow that person?
DM: I mean…
DM: I’m kind of disappointed he’s dead, having him find you was great.
Elf: His ghost should haunt him!
Gnome: I ain’t afraid of no ghosts
Ghost busters theme ensues
Update: Six months later, his ghost is now haunting him. Surprise!
We’re in our cramped jail cell, the cleric asks if anyone has any coins for him to pray to Abadar with.
Druid: *starts wretching*
DM: Did you…
Druid Player: I swallowed some of my gold pieces in case I didn’t get any of my money back.
DM: How many? You’re two feet tall.
Druid Player: 20. Do we have a bathroom?
DM: You have a bucket.
Druid Player: I hold my belt sash over the bucket and start throwing up, and eventually vomit a bunch of coins onto the cloth covered in stomach bile.
The gnome is being interrogated by a judge in a courtroom, each player has been interrogated in separate rooms so we couldn’t collaborate stories.
Judge: To be blunt, there are reports about your group traveling city to city, what are you doing?
Gnome: We are on a top secret mission.
Judge: Care to elaborate?
Gnome: A mission… from GOD.
Judge: Which one?
Gnome: All of them.
Judge: So you are neither a group of traveling do-gooders, bounty hunters, a group looking to set up a refugee camp, or traveling based on the elusive Book of Dreams?
Gnome: What do you mean? We are on a bounty hunting mission given by the Gods, looking to set up a refugee camp for those who have suffered. And… what was the last one?
Judge: The Book of Dreams.
Gnome: And we’ve… read a book.
… (We ended up imprisoned)
We’re in a wagon being brought in for questioning after witnessing a huge battle in which several important people have been killed (some by us). Picture a paddywagon with all but the viking inside, being guarded by one soldier.
Gnome: *burps*
Guard: QUIET OVER THERE
Cleric: What could you even be burping, we barely ate.
Elf Barbarian: Actually yeah can we have some food?
Guard: You’ll be fed in due time.
Druid: Okay, can I at least have my bag? It has some dried meat for the badger and peudo-dragon, they need to be fed.
[this is when the DM informs us that the animals aren’t in the wagon, they’re in a separate one in cages]
Druid: No, you don’t understand, they NEED to be fed.
Elf Barbarian: YEAH NO, YOU REALLY DON’T WANT TO DEAL WITH THAT DRAGON.
Guard: It’s a pseudo-dragon, we can handle it.
Druid- Player: CUT TO WHEN THEY CAN’T.
DM: So they’ve stopped for the night, soldiers are sitting around a fire.
Soldier: Where’s Reginald? I don’t think I’ve seen him since we had him guarding the carriage.
Reginald: *walks up, hair disheveled, clothes ripped and burned* Gentlemen, I have seen hell.
