The other day, I told a friend that essentially, all White Wolf game art for years looked just like the instructions given were “do it just like Mike Kaluta would,” and I was surprised to hear Kaluta himself did some art for side games and side projects.
I made a Bunny Heist based off of the TTRPG Honey Heist for my Niblings for this Easter Weekend. Thought I’d post it here if anyone wants to use it. It’s untested, so I don’t know if it’s too easy or too hard or just right - so the GM may need to adjust as they go! I am using the rules to a Honey Heist variant, literally called “Bunny Heist”. Those rules are here: https://www.drivethrurpg.com/product/309130
Grow-N-Show Garden Extravaganza!
The Bald Hare is a rabbit so old that he has lost all his fur. He is the head of the Bunny Boys, a gang of bunnies who run/terrorize your burrow community. The Bald Hare has found out he doesn’t have long to live and he will be passing the gang down to his grandson, Peter Rabbit. But before his time is done, he wants to send a group out for one last big score – enough food to hold the biggest retirement banquet one could ever throw. To do that though, he needs a buttload of veggies and nomnoms. The rest of the Bunny Boys are busy dealing with Farmer Maggot and his scarecrow. So The Bald Hare is putting together a ragtag group of criminal rabbits to go on this job.
A young hopper shows up at your doorstep with a summons from the Bald Hare. DIALOUGE FROM THE YOUNG HOPPER. Will you answer The Bald Hare’s summons?
You head to a large hole in the ground. The round green front door is answered by a hare named Harry. DIALOUGE FROM HARRY. He takes you into a room where an old, furless hare sits in a rocker. He welcomes you in. “Thank you for coming,” he says. Though you know that no one EVER refuses an invite from The Bald Hare. DIALOUGE FROM THE BALD HARE. He tells you of his retirement and his plan for a huge banquet. Then the surprise comes…he intends for you to get the food he requires from the Grow-N-Show Extravaganza! It’s the biggest garden show in the whole state! It’s the ultimate score. Like if you were a human robber robbing the biggest casino in Las Vegas? Like that! The Grow-N-Show Extravaganza is the big score for any bunny. No one has ever pulled it off. And the trick is? This year it is being held at the most dangerous Farmer’s Market around – Nuthanger Market. Oh, those sellers at the market act like they are hippies who love all creatures. But if you try to steal their veggies and other goods? They will make a hat out of you!
You know better than to refuse The Bald Hare though. So you take the job. He introduces you to your team. INTRODUCTIONS.
You know you have three choices for how to get there. 1) you can go to Farmer’s Maggots and attempt to steal his truck, but you’ve heard he has a dog. 2) you can try hitchhiking on The Highway, but you’ve heard it’s dangerous and can lead to “Roadkill”. 3) Or you can try hopping there, but that’ll take longer and you could arrive tomorrow evening, when the Extravaganza is already over.
It is mid-afternoon when you set out. The Bald Hare’s daughter, Lil Bunny FooFoo, gives you each 2 pieces of carrot cake for your journey. (These will help you feel more Bunny-like. You can also do a flashback to a criminal activity you engaged in, to feel more Criminal-like.)
***
Farmer Maggot’s:
You are hiding in the bushes next to the fence leading into the crop area of the farm. You see many growing crops; mushrooms, potatoes, carrots, etc. The farmer’s house is a ways off from the crops, but the barn is within a few hops. And next to the barn? You see Farmer Maggot’s truck. You can also hear the sound of a dog barking from somewhere, but you cannot see it.
You must find a way through the fence and to the truck without being seen.
YO, GM…if anyone rolls a 6 for anything, Bunny Boys show up to raid the farmer’s crop and cause Farmer Maggot to come out of his house and chase you around with a pitchfork. Everyone must give successful Bunny Rolls to hop away from him safely.
If they fail to get through the fence, they get stuck on the fence and must find a way off.
If they fail to hotwire the truck, they alert the dog to their presence and must find a way to distract him.
Once they are through the fence and have started the truck, they can drive away to the highway. See DRIVING ON HIGHWAY.
Hitchhiking:
If you decide to hitchhike, go to The Highway. To hitchhike, you must con passerbys into thinking that you are human so they will give you a ride. This takes a Criminal Roll.
If They Get Picked Up…You are picked up by a lovely fellow named Arthur with a stack of towels in his car. He says he is a towel salesman and that one should never leave home without a towel. He looks at you and says, “I see you are all wrapped up in your fluffy towels. Good for you!” He then offers you each a free navy blue towel to take with you.
If They Fail At Hitchhiking (each party member gets one try): You know you could try hopping to market still. Though you don’t know if you will arrive too late (SEE HOPPING TO MARKET). Or you could try moving further down the highway to see if there is a better spot for hitchhiking. What will you do?!
YO, GM…if anyone rolls a 6 for anything, a police officer rolls up in a car and tells them hitchhiking is dangerous and illegal! They must 1) con him into leaving them alone and if that fails 2) he arrests them and they must find a way out of the back of the police car.
…If no one is successful at hitchhiking, they may try HOPPING TO MARKET or try walking along the road until they come across a broken-down car on the side of the road. They must do a Criminal Roll to get it up and running. Or they can hop their way to Nuthanger Market by getting 2 successful Bunny rolls in a row. (SEE HOPPING TO MARKET).
Hopping To Market:
To hop to the market, first you must hop across The Highway, which takes a Bunny Roll. (If anyone fails to cross the Highway, they have to hop backwards out of the way of a car and try again).
Once Across The Highway, you must hop all the way to Nuthanger Market fast enough to get there before it closes in a day and a half – this also takes a Bunny Roll. (If anyone fails this roll, they hurt their foot hopping and must walk more slowly, meaning they won’t make it there in time.) But then they come across a broken-down car on the side of the road and try to take that instead. (They must do a Criminal Roll to get it up and running).
YO, GM … if anyone rolls a 6 for anything, they come across an actual river and must cross that as well. They can either try hopping across with a Bunny Roll or steal a rowboat sitting there with a Criminal Roll.
Driving On The Highway:
YO, GM … if anyone rolls a 6 for anything, they are in a car accident and must get out and try hopping or hitchhiking. They can also try fixing up the car, but they each get one roll or a police officer will show up to the scene of the accident. (SEE HITCHHIKING FOR DEALING WITH POLICE OFFICER).
…The only thing that happens while driving is that they pass by a car with a young girl in the backseat, waving at all the cars going by. If they wave back, they must do a Criminal Roll to see if they pass as human – if they fail this roll, the mother driving the car notices that they are bunnies and calls the police. If this happens they can try to take a different route to evade the police (THERE IS A MAP IN THE GLOVE BOX IF THEY SEARCH THAT, Roll with Advantage to evade the police because of the map) or they can pull over for the police (in which case, SEE HITCHHIKING FOR DEALING WITH POLICE OFFICER).
They also must do a Criminal Roll for driving, just one roll from the driver to see if they make it to the market without forgetting how to drive.
If they search the glovebox, there is a map and a swiss army knife.
***
NUTHANGER MARKET
YO, GM … If they successfully steal Farmer Maggot’s truck or successfully hitchhike without incident, they arrive in the evening of Day 1 of the Extravaganza, while it is still open. If they have to do 2 things, say hitchhiking + broken down car, or hitchhiking + hopping, then they arrive in the nighttime on the first day. If they must hop all the way there, they arrive in the morning of the last day, while the market is open.
Nuthanger’s Market is at a county fairground. There is a front gate and a back gate to the fairgrounds. There are brick walls around the fairgrounds. There is a carnival with rides and such set up for the market as well; carousel, kiddie coaster, swings, tilt-a-whirl, kiddie copters, bumper cars, swinging pirate ship and a row of fun carnival games. There is a small convention center building, CitiBank Building, where they have indoor art shows and the like. There is a single barn. There are 2 large semi-trucks with the words Karnival Koasters written on the side. And there are rows of tables and stalls about.
Arriving When It’s Closed
The front and back gates are closed and locked with a chain and padlock. The carnival rides and games are all shut down for the night. The CitiBank Convention Building also seems to be shut down for the night. The barn doors are closed. Off in the distance, you can see the shine of a flashlight.
YO, GM … Things they might try:
Sticking their little paws through the gate and picking the lock. (WITH ADVANTAGE IF USING THE SWISS ARMY KNIFE)
Hopping the fence.
Calling out to the person with the flashlight (the security guard) and conning him. (WITH ADVANTAGE IF THEY USE THE TOWELS FROM ARTHUR TO MAKE A COSTUME)
Once Inside…you find all the vendor stalls & tables empty.
YO, GM … if anyone rolls a 6 for anything… the security guard will come across them and they must either evade, distract, attack or con him. UNLESS THEY HAVE CAUSED A DISTRACTION FIRST.
If They Investigate The CitiBank Building, they find a front and back door, both locked for the night with a security pad. There are also windows, high up, hoppable for a bunny, but the windows are closed. Through the windows of the building, they can see many of the produce and food has been moved inside for the night.
If They Investigate The Windows Specifically, they find there are no sensors on the windows.
If They Search The Barn, the doors are not locked and they find bunny hutches and chicken coups inside, all with bunnies and chickens in them.
Things they might try:
Getting the security guard to let them in to the CitiBank Building.
Hacking the security pad on the doors.
Breaking the window (Criminal Roll) & hopping into the building, then opening it from the inside.
Ramming the doors with the trucks.
YO, GM … they can use the carnival trucks to stash more food with a Criminal Roll for driving. The keys are literally in the ignitions. But they hafta deal with the security guard asking questions.
Arriving When It’s Open
The gates are open, but the Extravaganza is in full swing. There are people everywhere. You can see the doors to the CitiBank Building standing wide open. People are coming and going from the barn. The carnival rides and games are all operational.
YO, GM…
Things they might try:
Pickpocketing someone for their credit guard and buying all the produce, if they can pass as people.
Causing some sort of major distraction that empties the place out, like sabotaging one of the rides or driving one of the trucks through the crowd.
Passing as a health inspector who confiscates the food.
Telling a cop there’s a bomb so they empty the place out.
Posing as a bunny with a sign that says “Feed This Bunny” so people just hand over their food.
***
Once They Have The Produce
It takes one Criminal Roll to drive back home.
The Old Bald Hare welcomes you with open arms, on this the day of his retirement. You are viewed as “alright fellows” by the Bunny Boys. Peter Rabbit says he looks forward to offering you more jobs in the future. You have done The Big Score! You are now renowned in the Bunny Crime World!
I know that it wasn’t as funny when it was written because it’s only funny because it’s such a well known book but I can’t help but lose it a bit at the phrase “your friend, DRACULA”
It would be good to play a vampire who doesn’t know anything about the character Dracula. As a player, it’s almost impossible not to interact with the tropes and the ideas of this story…
Maybe this person has been living (literally and/or figuratively) under a rock, and somehow missed the popularization of vampire mythology. In the world of the Masquerade, this means they don’t know about all the misinformation that was intentionally included. But in other settings, you could definitely make it humorous - “I hear dark rumors of a rival… This will not stand! Go forth, my minions, and make unending war on this, this… Dracula.” The minions look at each other with utter chagrin and quietly disappear into the night.
I think I want to emulate the tone shift in the Hobbit, after the death of Smaug. A lot of characters are thinking “this is it, a great evil is gone and it’s all gold and cucumber sandwiches from here”. And then all the dominoes that have been set up start tipping, with friends betraying each other and rivals closing in on the Lonely Mountain.
It’s a classic quest narrative that deals with the fallout from the quest. Try something similar with your players! Don’t detract from the achievements they’ve made, but ask them - what do you think is going to happen next? Ask yourself who is going to benefit from this, and who wants revenge, and who didn’t get what they deserved?
What if you flash forward to the little town where the party brings all their treasure, and they’ve raised all the prices tenfold! The streets are buzzing with greed, business booms and suddenly the first person who touched the dragon’s hoard drops dead. Give them the panic, a few days of looking for a cure, and then the King marches an army down to prevent the cursed gold from spreading.
Everyone knows its an urban legend that the butch alligator girls live in the sewers and yet your grocery bag of old spice deoderant that you just left by the curb a second ago is missing and in its place is a handmade chair with deep scratches in the wood
Sometimes you should make your players go to the cool elements of your world even if it’s not relevant to the plot. Want to show off the solarpunk Elf district that spans the towering bridges of the city? Tell the PCs they can get that cool Helm of Ghost Headbutting or another aesthetic thing.
Maybe they need to go down into the sewers if they want to buy a genuine mahogany rocking chair for the duke’s birthday.
Ghoul dogs and other undead roam the Plains of Desolation surrounding the Black Tower (Robin Parry, I believe, Adventurer 2, June/July 1986)
Image ID: an ink drawing of two armored people being attacked by three canine monsters. One of the people is running or leaping away, eyes wide. The other adventurer has fallen as a monster bites their leg.
I enjoyed a lot of the options in Pathfinder’s new Book of the Dead. There’s playable skeleton characters, and other ways to become an undead creature or vampire slayer! But one thing made me nostalgic: all the cool variations of undead! Modern D&D 5e doesn’t include nearly enough options like zombie rabbits or crawling beetle exoskeletons. The ghoul dogs here are a great example of a disease of undeath that affects people and animals alike!
Mummy Dragons sound really cool, ok? What if their breath can give you curse effects in addition to damage? The red dragons make PCs easy to track, the green dragons give them a weakness against charm spells…
Keep track of all the best NPCs in your game - the ones that your players love or love to hate, even if they die along the way.
When the campaign comes to an end, introduce an opportunity to talk about them with the players. You could do a “where are they now” scene, or just reflect on past events!
Idea: a wacky yet dark and intense campaign where you play a group of orcs in Middle Earth. I bet you could run it by hacking the One Ring RPG system just a little…
As you make schemes and seize things from the stupid Elves and Men, remember that being a goblin is also about having horrible food and singing horrible songs together. Sauron even invented a Team Rocket style cheer back in the First Age!
You see evidence of them everywhere you go. Local cops who ask questions they shouldn’t know to ask. Families who watch you and almost say something, as if they know the look in your eyes. Perhaps some monsters even leave messages to each other, warnings about the undying hunters.
It’s said they were bound to a contract by forces newer than demons, but no less greedy. As long as there’s an audience to watch them kill the creatures of the night, they can never truly rest. They hardly seem like real people anymore, having gone through transformations and resurrections and memory replacements. Survivors tell different stories but agree on their names.
You find a burned out car by a picnic pavilion. Have they finally met their end, these two revenants? If not, do you have the stomach - or the hubris - to put them in the ground for good? They must have given so much to the eldritch “network” by now…
You really only need one character. Just a single person who’s connected to every plot that’s going on in the world. A main character, if you will. For example, let’s pick a totally random name like Drizzt.
Every other character just gets referred to in their relationship with Drizzt. The boisterous dwarf king is “Drizzt’s best friend” and the villain of one arc can be “Drizzt’s ex”. Here’s the key part. None of the PCs are Drizzt. They can remember each other in the same way, with a party made up of Drizzt’s orthodontist, the lady who bought Drizzt’s goblin ears, and Drizzt’s second cousin.
We know the perils of naming things as a GM. You might be too mundane: Bob, the bronze dragon of the southern coast. You might be too archaic: what do you mean the party can’t remember the archmage Zenithisces Miramandovion Shorfodorf?
We have tales of the GMs who created the legendary sword of Jeo’m Amah by mistake, or panic-named two people the same thing (shout out to Skinny Greg and Stocky Greg). But yesterday I think I ran into one that was my own dang fault.
Idea: say names out loud. Say them many times. If they are too fun to say, there will be problems. Do not by any means name your terrible monster “Klong” even if you want him to be a King Kong reference.
Because Hasbro owns the Wizards of the Coast, the following dragon is completely viable:
A dragon with a breath weapon that shoots a cone of Bop-It™️ puzzle toys. It deals bludgeoning or thunder damage, and targets who fail their save are also confused.
Transformers rpg WHEN?
https://renegadegamestudios.com/transformers-roleplaying-game-core-rulebook/ Transformers RPG in a few months time currently available for preorder. It’s not a D&D based system but it is d20 and was initially planned to straight up be a D&D based and compatible system for exactly the reasons you mentioned. They changed their minds and made their own system but only kind of.
Because Hasbro owns the Wizards of the Coast, the following dragon is completely viable:
A dragon with a breath weapon that shoots a cone of Bop-It™️ puzzle toys. It deals bludgeoning or thunder damage, and targets who fail their save are also confused.
Und der Haifisch, der hat Zähne, Und die trägt er im Gesicht. Und Macheath, der hat ein Messer, Doch das Messer sieht man nicht.
Image ID: a description for a homebrew D&D 5e item called Mackie’s Messer. It is a rare item requiring attunement, and functions as a +1 dagger. In addition, the attuned individual is under the effect of a permanent “nondescript” spell, and as a bonus action can make the dagger invisible or visible with a button. End ID.
I think this weapon would certainly make some fun sneak attacks possible! There’s also good story potential with the history of the blade… a legendary gangster once owned it. He got away with every crime under the sun, and was only arrested (some say killed) when a friend betrayed him. Who knows how many hands have held his knife since?
All along the Thames embankment, people fall down with a smack. And it’s not the plague or choler - people say that Mackie’s back.
This is either a game setting on its own, or a campaign concept for Nobilis.
Court intrigue! Clever schemes and betrayals! Romance? Illegal midnight duels!
For centuries, the Cabinet of Seven has ruled with benevolence and wisdom. The Ministers - Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and the others - cooperate for the common good. At least on the surface. No Minister has ever fallen, for they each need the other six as much as they crave power. Their court officials, with silly names like Halloween and Laborday, must sneak and scandalize and sabotage without being caught, or their own patron will calmly watch them executed for treason.
In this world, the players are encouraged to be dramatic! To use their powers (and be creative with inventing new ones!) And watch out for July and August - those guys can’t stop bragging about being the only ex-mortals to be in charge of a whole department.
N.B. Think carefully about which holidays you want to use, and whether you’re making fun of anybody. Treat people’s beliefs and history with respect - again, except for the Caesars.
I just watched The Prestige, a movie where David Bowie as Nikola Tesla was somehow not the central arc of the story.
While I don’t want to spoil anything, this is another quite mysterious and eldritch story that would make an excellent adventure for Call of Cthulhu or a darker Monster of the Week game.
The wonderful magician has returned from across the sea with a brand new invention that performs - so it seems - real magic!
The blind stagehands carefully make deliveries to and from the theatre, and nobody knows what’s in their crates.
Who is the mysterious person in the background, shadowing the magician? One of Edison’s goons? A bitter rival? Or something else?
Play a ridiculously small Spellcaster — small enough to fit in another player’s pocket. That is all.
Thanks@vlad-ironclad ! This is a cool idea… do you play as a little mouse who happens to be a sorcerer? Or maybe a druid, victim of some wild magic incident that made them permanently tiny.
Grendel boils out of the Long Island Sound and trudges up to West Egg to eat New York socialites every night because the sound of Gatsby’s parties keeps him awake.
Gatsby keeps hosting the parties anyways, partly because he hopes to attract Daisy’s attention, but also because everyone agrees that murder is no reason not to party.
The Geat Gatsby?
Jokes aside, this is an amazing idea for a Call of Cthulhu type adventure. The monster reveals itself right away, but the mystery is about finding its lair, or making a spell powerful enough to keep it out of the Heorot Hotel. Bullets and blades have no hold on this damned creature, so some bold investigator might see the story at work and stay up unarmed to face it.
If you want to lean into the eldritch plot beyond “scary monster”, perhaps the players meet someone who wants to call forth a primordial Hero-spirit, a Beowulf to stop this nightly horror. Will they help, or is one immortal superhuman creature enough for this town? You can throw in lots of symbolism between the decline of the Danes and the crumbling glamor of the roaring Twenties. And what about Grendel’s mother? There’s plenty of monstrous demigoddesses in mythology…
Gold, pearl, and enamel pendant in the form of a ship, Italy, 16th century
from The Louvre
This looks like a magic item for sure…
We already have the Folding Boat, so I don’t think it will become a real sailing ship. But the pendant has very cool aesthetics that I’d like to imagine on a grand scale. What about:
Pendant of the Caravel, rare item. This is always a model of a real ship that was lost or sunk, and tales say it bears the vessel’s spirit. The wearer of the Pendant can use an action to gain proficiency with water vehicles, temporarily replacing another vehicle or tool proficiency they have. They can also spend charges (total of three, regained at dawn) to do the following. They can summon an anchor attached to a ship they’re touching, cause a ship to add 20 ft to its speed for an hour, or repair 3d10 damage to a ship’s hit points. When they do this, the target briefly takes on the appearance of the token.
Investigators - whether they’re private eyes or supernatural sleuths - usually have a fitting backstory to get involved in the mystery solving game. Lots of ex-cops, vengeful orphans, and so on.
What if instead the ace investigator was someone with a different angle on these impossible crimes? A magician! How could the murderer enter and leave the locked room, they wonder? Or what’s the perfect distraction that allowed the thief to get away? Idea: play Harry Houdini trying to disprove ghosts, who are definitely real and hate his guts.
Make up a voice that’s really distinctive so your players recognize it immediately. For an ideal situation assign this voice to a beloved or beloathed recurring NPC.
“Oh but probablyfunrpgideas, I’m not good at voices” don’t be a hater. Pick the silliest cartoon you know and just lean into the weirdness of the voice.
