#adult tips
gardentea-deactivated20200527:
On Hobbies
Literally get into an activity that involves touching things or You. Will. Die.
It can be so easy in this day and age to feel like that’s not an option, and binge culture has made the sickening descent into couch-based isolation and lack of self-discipline not only acceptable but a “fun personality trait” for many. But sometimes, often, you need to give your brain a break from consuming and Create something. You need to give yourself time. To think. And maybe even do something with your hands while your imagination roams free.
I’ve been addicted to social media. I’ve defended social media. I’ve nearly fist fought my parents for trying to take my phone (they were absolutely in the wrong). I’ve had multiple twitters at the same time. I don’t have a twitter anymore. I’ve been depressed, and scared, and wanted nothing more than to escape the ceasless, screaming void that was my life.
Filling that void with the internet did nothing for me. It was help from my oldest sister that did. Her and her husband got me out of my house, taught me how to be a healthy adult, then set me loose.
What does this have to do with hobbies?
My wife has severe seasonal depression. This fall, she is doing amazingly better than usual, and I couldn’t be more proud of her. She picked up sewing in September. Now she spends hours a day working on projects, watching videos, or planning what new dress she can make out of a tablecloth. It gives her mind something to do to take her mind off the cold. It also lets her interact with the winter by taking charge of her fashion and making warm clothes that she likes and has a personal connection to. And at the end of a long project, she always has a new piece of clothing. Something she produced and can take pride in.
It has also helped her relationship with others. In our group of friends, she has already gotten several requests to hem or adjust clothes, which makes her feel very needed and grows a sense of community. [Side note: I love my awesome wife and could gush about her all day] She also watches YouTube videos of clothing makers while working and gets all kind of inspiration from them that she loves to tell me about. When I see the light shining in here eyes my heart fills with the joy she’s found. Plus I got some new pajama bottoms.
I like vegetable gardening. I don’t currently have a garden but I’m working on getting a plot in the town community garden. In the meantime I’ve started following different gardening or nature-centric people on social media, and I’m going to start researching different gardening tips. The plan is to one day interact with other people who share my interests and make friends, but even just now I recognize how happy it makes me to look into those things. It calms my heart and reminds me to be kind.
I also realized I kind of have a knack for building things out of cardboard. First it was a box/jungle for our cat that I made from 12-4am for no reason but I love him, and then a dinosaur for a school project.
So—and this is where it starts getting applicable to your own life—I’m going to ask all my friends for their spare cardboard whenever they get it and I’m just going to make things. Animals. Decorations. Unsturdy shelves. Some of the things I make are probably going to be really crappy, but I’ll also get better as I go on. Hopefully someday when I have money to spend I’ll turn this into actual woodworking. But for now, I have cardboard and a pocket knife, and I’m going to put my grubby little hands all over it and have some fun.
Crocheting? Baking? Painting? Building? Making sculptures out of pipe cleaners? Practicing your handwriting? Scrapbooking? Cutting up all your blankets then stitching them together in different patterns?
It’s not only good but necessary for your mental, emotional, and physical health to take your eyes off of a screen and make your hands do something tactile every now and again. Or even more often than not. But right now, just start something. Anything. You don’t have to show anyone, you don’t have to be good at it as long as it makes you feel good. Looking for ideas or intimidated by how hard something seems? The internet, with all its greedy human pitfalls, is an incredible tool for learning things. Use it for good.
Don’t only consume. Create.
adventurecore ideas
- pack a lunch of fruit, granola, small snacks, toast, etc!! and don’t forget a water bottle!!
- bring a flashlight and gloves wherever you go
- mark your path with something eco friendly, like stones or sticks!!
- geocaching…
- have a picnic with some friends!! hiking trips!!
- have food to feed birds or geese if you’re near a pond… make sure it’s peas, corn, seeds, etc, and not bread
- get crafty!! handmade maps, notebooks, sundials, bags, a lot of things!!
- keep a journal of interesting information handy!!
- draw or press some plants you find (be careful though!!)
okay, so here in california precautionary measures against COVID-19 have become increasingly intense. most schools have closed and are preparing to make the transition to “distance learning” aka online classes. this is a big change for many of us – but don’t panic!
welcome to surviving online classes 101!
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✐ self discipline
this is more of a warning than a tip. working from home means you will have to exercise a lot more self discipline. it can be a little bit boring or lonely at times. you cannot count on motivation from others (professors, classmates, friends, etc.), so you will have to learn some self discipline.
✐create your own classroom
a good way to make the transition is to try and mimic the classroom setting as closely as possible. something that might be helpful is to set up a space designated for work. try to avoid the temptation to work in your bed or on the couch. that trains your brain to be alert in those places and makes it harder to relax/fall asleep. at least during online lectures, try and eliminate distractions that wouldn’t be present in a regular classroom (like tv or netflix playing in the background, or having your phone out)
✐dress for success!
dress in the way that makes you feel most productive. if you’re one of those people who usually rolls into class wearing sweats and still kills it, good for you! if you’re one of those people who needs to put on a full face of makeup to feel alive and ready for the day, do that! even at home!! i personally never wear makeup but if i try to be productive in pjs… disaster. i’ve also found that cute workout gear makes me feel badass while still being comfy.
✐create a schedule
now more than ever you need to figure out how to manage your time. you can use a planner, bujo, google calendar, the forest app, whatever. just make sure you keep track of things like
- due dates and TIMES
- exam dates
- lecture times
- hours spent studying
- meals (pls eat 3 if possible)
- water intake
- sleep schedule
✐pack your bag like you usually would
i know this probably sounds so dumb, but when you’re done working clean up after yourself. pack everything up like you would at school, to sort of signal to your brain that academic time is over for now. and then unpack and set up when you’re ready to get to work again. this is just another way to trick your brain into that school mindset while you’re stuck at home.
✐don’t overwork yourself
break up your studying into chunks. being cooped up all day can make us feel like we’re wasting time, but be sure to schedule breaks and reward yourself after a solid study session. i’m a big fan of the pomodoro method, and it can be customized really easily to allow for more or less study/rest time.
✐maintain a healthy sleep schedule
now is the time to develop that healthy sleep schedule we all dream about. staring at a computer all day is exhausting and hard on the eyes and brain, so make sure to give them enough rest and time to recover each night. also, consider investing in glasses that block blue light, even if you don’t usually use glasses. this will keep our eyes young lol.
✐communicate with your teachers and classmates
most of us are making this transition to online learning together. any time you have questions, email your professor. reach out to your classmates at the beginning and exchange emails/phone numbers/social media so you can build a support system. if something goes wrong, screenshot it immediately and reach out to your professor. technology isn’t perfect, and mistakes can happen, just communicate them.
✐turn things in early
this is my biggest tip. when you are relying on online submissions for assignments and digital lectures, you always want to allow extra time to fix any errors you might encounter. your professor will also be much more willing to help you fix a problem two days before a deadline rather than two minutes before a deadline. eliminate that uncertainty by playing it safe with online submissions.
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GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!! YOU GOT THIS!! WE GOT THIS!!
How to have a conversation about a topic you’re not interested in or don’t know anything about:
- Listen to what the other person has to say about the topic.
- Ask a question about what they said. Asking them to clarify or explain something you don’t understand is great, but any question will do. All else fails, ask them to explain what they like about some part of the topic.
- Listen to their responses and go back to step 2.
- Do this until 5-15 minutes has passed, then change the subject to a topic of your interest, unless you are actually interested in learning more on this subject, in which case, go on for as long as you like.
- Sometimes, they will say something like “I’m sorry to blather on about [topic].” This is an attempt at a conversational dismount. You can either say “no, it was fascinating, thanks” and then bring up your own topic, or you can say “no, it’s fascinating, please keep going” if you want to keep hearing about their topic. Note the tense difference (past -> moving on, present -> keep going).
I just thought I’d write a script for this, because someone who can’t / won’t do this came up in a Captain Awkward column, and listening about topics you have no interest in is a really useful skill to have and not often explicitly taught, particularly to boys and men.
This is really helpful advice for people with adhd/autism because we’re often not great at social skills and holding conversations
Here, a cheater course on caring for natural fibers!
1. Wool. Treat it like it has the delicate constitution of a Victorian lady and the conviction that baths are evil of a 17th century noble. (If I get in WATER my PORES will OPEN and I will CATCH ILL AND DIE.)
2. Cotton; easygoing. Will shrink a bit if washed and dried hot.
3. Silk; people think it’s like wool and has the constitution of a fashionably dying of consumption Victorian lady, but actually it’s quite tough. Can be washed in an ordinary washer, and either tumbled dry without heat or hung to dry.
4. Linen; it doesn’t give a shit. Beat the hell out of it. Historically was laundered by dousing it in lye and beating the shit out of it with wooden paddles, which only makes it look better.The masochist of the natural fiber world. Beat the fuck out of it linen doesn’t care. Considerably stronger than cotton. Linen sheet sets can last literal decades in more or less pristine shape because of that strength.The most likely natural fiber to own a ball gag.
why are all my thrifted linen clothes dry-clean only ? is that fake ? is it a linen blend ?
That is a blatant lie. Throw that shit in the wash and iron it as hot as you can once it comes out and bam presto good as new.
Also important fabric note: cotton, wool, and sufficiently thick silk can be torn, for a nice straight line. Linen cannot. Linen laughs at your puny mortal strength. You have to cut linen
Truth.
Your puny mortal hands will give out before the linen does.
Hell, for a truly awesome finish on your linen, throw it into a pot of boiling water, stir it around vigorously, haul it out, wring EXTREMELY firmly once it’s cool enough to safely handle, hang dry, iron as hot as your iron will go while it’s still slightly damp. Your linen will thank you. Your hands might not
Truth.
This is why heirloom linens are a thing. Your great-grandmothers linens outlived her, your grandma, and with proper care will also outlive you.
Also! If your linen is only lightly worn and you didn’t sweat much while wearing it? Just soak it down with water, wring it out, and hang it in the sun. It’ll take care of any weird smells on its own
And in case people don’t believe the whole “linen lasts” thing, I present to you, from the tomb of Wah at Luxor circa 1980 BCE (Metropolitan Museum 20.3.203a), this length of linen with only minor damage:
People always think this, but it’s not true. I promise. Silk holds up just fine in the washing machine. The dye in it might not in all cases, but the silk itself is just fine.
Here’s a secret; to process silk from cocoon to thread, you use boiling water and strong alkali agents and either lye soap or dishwashing soap. Source; I’ve done it. Silk is just fine in a washing machine, I promise.
Another secret; before sewing with silk you should pre-wash it…in a washing machine.