#adulting

“don’t be confused by things like that.”

❗❗❗REMINDER ❗❗❗

*scrolling through personal facebook and instagram account be like*

overkill ☠

smile

“like… let’s say… life.”

peek-a-boo

i don’t know anything anymore! ☠

give me a break ☠

why? ☠

My family credo: “Melius non potuit, potuit esse peius.”

You know, I was trying to actually cook like a successful grown-up. 

Soooo everyone knows I love dance!! I also kinda like teaching…I don’t want to like teaching because it makes me nervous but it’s in my blood.  Do you know that my grandfather was a teacher! A very good teacher! He LOVEDHistory. Loved reading and loved teaching.  My aunt was a teacher and my mom has always been in the school working with students as a career liaison.  I think I’m suppose to do something with education and dance and such.

I’m super down for that idea except I ALWAYSthink I’m going to mess up royally! Even though I do have experience and am not the worst dancer and absolutely love sharing my passion for dance with people! I just get soooo nervous!  I have horrible anxiety when it comes to teaching at the beginning! Usually after I’m established and feel comfortable I’m fine but the first couple classes (especially the first) almost kill me! 

I really do like being a “teaching artist” so I’ve decided I would like more training, schooling, brain informing so that I’m not as questioning of myself! That’s why yesterday I was at a dance teacher training in Brooklyn! The organization is Dancewave and it’s wonderful! Making sure students of all backgrounds get exposed to and experience dance!  It’s really what I love to do! I learned soooo much!!! About the New York education standards and classroom management techniques and meet such amazing educators! I want to continue to learn stuff! 

I also think I’m going into Dance Movement Therapy and Dance Education as my prospect of going to NYU increase…Grad school is scary but it might seriously be time

Week 4 was quick! I was also determined to have a better/calm/organized week! I woke up early and made breakfast and adulted!! I pounded more pavement for jobs! I went to another dance class and got an interview at a fundraising job that pays money! Went to an adorable jazz bar type place and heard a cool band! Went to Liberty and Ellis Island!! 

 much much better week. Pics all below:

This week was not as amazing and starry eyed as week two. Definitely closer to the chaoticness of the first week! My glasses broke…

The glasses I spent a crap ton of money buying before I left for New York to be prepared/on the safe side because my first pair had already broken (during my grandfather’s funeral mind you ) These decided to break in the most awkward place ever and the closest Vision Works is in the Bronx…Sooo I wasn’t happy about that. I was happy about having a job interview that Monday though!! It was for the Steps on Broadway Community Outreach dance teacher opportunity! I got the “job”!! I am teaching dance to babies at Hudson Guild   My first day is Wednesday 9/28!! I am very excited however, they pay me in dance classes so for every class I teach I get to take one at Steps! Pretty legit but I cannot eat dance classes and OMG New York is freakin EXPENSIVE!!!

Also, we still don’t have anything! I am so use to only having to restocknotbuy all new  Yuchen and I are having to deal with this like adult people…its rough! 

I took another dance class at BDC after my interview.  I bought a 5 pack that only last 2 weeks so I’m going through them! This class was Waacking/Street Jazz Fusion with Princess Lockerooo and Carlos Neto…I had to second guess if I was really a dancer!!! It was impossible!!!My arms were sooooo tired and keeping up took literally ALL of my strength!  I literally COULD NOT with that class  I left the studio in tears! I’m okay now but my confidence took such a hit! I wanted to return home to find fabulouss lipsticks from Coloured Raine but they were taken from my door…

Shipping/Receiving packages really F Uped my third week as well! Coloured Raine said it had delivered however nothing was there. I waited all week. Nothing!  Also…I was home all day Tuesday waiting for our kitchen table to be delivered (another expense) and guess what?! They could not find my apartment [because they were in freakin Brooklyn!!] and instead of calling the company to confirm things, THEY SHIPPED IT BACK TO THE SENDER IN CALIFORNIA

Soooo no kitchen table for me until I called and reorderedthe table and waited another week for shipping. After all of this nonsense the week picked up.  I met my dad’s sister Lisa–Jamaican native New Yorker and awesome!! and she introduced me to my many relatives i have around the city and abroad!

I made it to the Bronx and got my glasses-again.  I had lunch with my dancer friend from college on Friday Hung out with Yuchen’s epic Columbia people Friday night then hung out with another New York native I went to school with Saturday evening

i knew some days and weeks would be rough so I was prepared but at the same time devastated with all the anxiety and stress I was feeling. On to Week 4!!! 

Was awesome!! I finally got to go dancing x2!!
I work everyday now so when I get home I enjoy beer and video games! It’s my zen! Friday I got home and chilled while Yuchen (the best boyfriend ever) made us delicious dumplings!! I love his food sooo much and this was bomb!
He went back to reading and I got dolled up to go dancing at Silvana’s- the awesome jazz bar right by our home! The dj that night was fantastic! We danced together like no one was watching ❤️ except everyone was watching and we killed it one girl even tried to mess up my groove by getting all in my space causing me to get whiplash [continued to slay the dance floor]
It wasn’t even a late night but a great one Pics below

Saturday was cool!! I taught dance to babies at a community center event! We did Bruno Mars 24K magic and of course Juju on that beat because that’s all they ever want! If you don’t know what it is, you’re old like me, look it up It was a real real fun Time! I enjoy teaching kids, I guess.
My Saturday night was not for children lol. Kate and I went to XL gay club where there were sexy gogo boys dicks out The dancing was dope and yes there were penis out and abound and butt cleavage that we appreciated. I miss my Tracks for getting down but it was very fun hanging out with Kate!

Sooo I’m pretty happy with my job! The kids are great and I’m excited to put everything into this and have fun.
Since it’s my job to teach these students and create dances & shows, I guess I’m adulting… It feels weird that I have to adult everyday!!
I freakin LOVE routine but it scares me and I HATE routine!! Routine usually equals adult 9-5 status But maybe this is fun and I’m suppose to be doing it!?

I’m lesson planning right now ‍♀️ also pondering my entire future as a “dance educator” !!!

Sooo I have been trying to stay positive and stay on my grind! I realize I’ve had cancer and all but I have never really had to “grind” like working and paying bills…I have led a wonderfully comfy life. Thanks Mom! But that’s over now!!!

I have really really been hustling! Handing out resumes and applying for literally all jobs! Still nothing   I was hardcore second guessing (not full blown regretting) my decision to drop everything and move to the Big Apple.  It’s hard out here!! I was doing awesome things at home and I miss it! I was a STAR in Denver  I ain’t nothin’ here  But guess who is getting interviews now!!!

I taught my dance class to babies yesterday at Hudson Guild. 3rd week and I absolutely love the kids! As I am leaving for the subway I get a call for an interview at a school in Brooklyn for a step dance teacher!! I’m doing that this morning   When I got home yesterday, I did an online interview with an Artificial Intelligence company. My inbox is literally flooded with Ziprecruiter, Indeed, LinkedIn, etc. emails. Soooo I’m wading through all of those when I see an email from Dancewave asking me if I’m interested in teaching a class with them! I learned about Dancewave before I even moved to the city and really really wanted to be a part of it! That was the teacher training I went to the other week! EEEEE Excited! THENI get a call from a hotel to be a front desk receptionist and come in for an interview! That’s not even the interview on Friday! The interview on Friday is for Citibabes-a toddler center in SoHo for kids to dance and move and be free!!!

I am soooo excited and happy with surge of opportunities! Apparently all my grindin’ is paying off!