I think the devil doesn’t exist, but man has created him, he has created him in his own image and likeness.

Fyodor Dostoevsky,The Brothers Karamazov

When I open them, most of the books have the smell of an earlier time leaking out between the pages - a special odor of the knowledge and emotions that for ages have been calmly resting between the covers. Breathing it in, I glance through a few pages before returning each book to its shelf.

Haruki Murakami,Kafka on the Shore

I learned: the first lesson of my life: nobody can face the world with his eyes open all the time.

Salman Rushdie,Midnight’s Children

The most important step a man can take. It’s not the first one, is it? It’s the next one. Always the next step, Dalinar.

Brandon Sanderson,Oathbringer

We always think there’s enough time to do things with other people. Time to say things to them. And then something happens and then we stand there holding on to words like “if”.

Fredrik Backman,A Man Called Ove

It takes a very long time to become young.

Pablo Picasso

It takes guts and humility to admit mistakes. Admitting we’re wrong is courage, not weakness.

Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Today we live in a society in which spurious realities are manufactured by the media, by governments, by big corporations, by religious groups, political groups… So I ask, in my writing, What is real? Because unceasingly we are bombarded with pseudo-realities manufactured by very sophisticated people using very sophisticated electronic mechanisms. I do not distrust their motives; I distrust their power. They have a lot of it. And it is an astonishing power: that of creating whole universes, universes of the mind. I ought to know. I do the same thing.

Philip K. Dick

In this hour, I do not believe that any darkness will endure.

J.R.R. Tolkien,The Return of the King

So I tried to write a song to make you blush but I’ve a feeling that the whole thing may well just end up too clever for its own good.

Alex Turner,Science Fiction

Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?

John Keats,Letters of John Keats

The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.

Paulo Coelho,Veronika Decides to Die

I want to sink into your arms and feel the festival and the firelight.

Virginia Woolf,Letter to Vita Sackville-West, c. March 1931

Prejudice, a dirty word, and faith, a clean one, have something in common: they both begin where reason ends.

Harper Lee,Go Set a Watchman

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

Isaac Asimov,Foundation

A sick thought can devour the body’s flesh more than fever or consumption.

Guy de Maupassant,Le Horla et autres contes fantastiques

Closed in a room, my imagination becomes the universe, and the rest of the world is missing out.

Criss Jami, Diotima, Battery, Electric Personality

“I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow and the soul.”

― Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

I kept hearing that “better to have loved and lost” bullshit. Another falsehood. Trust me, it is not better. Don’t show me paradise and then burn it down

Harlan Coben,Tell No One

Love is so painful, how could you ever wish it on anybody? And love is so essential, how could you ever stand in its way?

David Levithan,Two Boys Kissing

life is such a hard thing to get your head around

I’ve tried to find inner peace (and succeeded for a little while) but it only leaves me contented, it’s almost boring.

at the same time I don’t enjoy feeling discontented and sad, but feeling that kind of pain almost reminds you you’re alive, makes you happier when the good times come. but good and bad seem like nothing in the end if they’re only temporary, and often they are

I want people who are there with me through it all (I have a few but not many). but I did have people like that and I threw them away because I didn’t have enough excitement in my life

I like to think of myself as being above superficiality and cheap thrills but in the end I still push away a lot of very genuine people in pursuit of a life lived getting wrecked every night and coming home to cry for nights on end

it’s not enjoyable but I feel like I’ve somehow picked up the idea that it’s right to seek thrills constantly, like if I’m not partying constantly then I’m not ‘living life to the full’… but what sort of life is that?

I’m not sure what I’m trying to say in this post… I guess I’m trying to say, life is confusing and often shit and unfulfilling, but it’s so amazing too.

Anyone else feel this way?

And I am glad, I am glad that, though only in imagination, she should think of herself as having once been happy.

— Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment.

Anon asks

1.) What is your favourite snack?

2.) What is your favourite dish/ recipe/ meal?

3.) If you watch Kdrama’s what is your most cherished one?

4.) Fave band?

5.) Fave book?

6.) What drama/ movie/ tv show would you like to play a character in if you could?

7.) What’s the best piece of advise that anybody has ever given you?

8.) If you could offer anyone some advise/ words of wisdom what would they be?

Feel free to answer as many of these q’s as you want? Pick 1/ 3/ or all of them! The choice is up to you!

I look forward to your asks!

Zen and The Art of Transition

Hullo loves! So, I’ve been in a contemplative mood lately…

If you know me, you know that I’m am an amateur theologian and to that, I find myself applying many of the theories and philosophical excercises I have learned over the years to my experiences since coming out.

Lao-tse once stated: “The more one interferes with the natural balance of the universe, the further away harmony retreats to the distance.”

I’ve been chewing on this for a few days now… these are my thoughts:

Being born trans, one is inherently out of balance. So our nature therefore, is a long journey in search of the balance which would align us with our true natures.

In short, we seek harmony.

It has been noted that the more we force situations to conform to our will, the more trouble, stress, and anxiety we encounter. Heavy or light, masculine or feminine, fast or slow, everything has its own nature within it, which cannot be violated without causing difficulties.

Essentially, when abstract and arbitrary rules are imposed from the outside, struggle is inevitable. This then sours our life experience.

Hmm.

Dear stupids of the world,

I am in state of evolution. I am becoming. Moving forward to a place that is greater than the sum of my parts so, please keep you’re abstract, and arbitrary rules to yourself.

I will not allow you to sour my life experience anymore.

With love,

Felicia ❤

I hit a few setbacks, but am getting ever closer to starting my youtube channel “Transtastic,” where I share my thoughts and experiences on transitioning as I work on living my best life. ❤

This is a test of what I think my show opening will look like… please stand by.

My family credo: “Melius non potuit, potuit esse peius.”

Hello, Universe

Had this with lunch. Apparently, the universe is trying to tell me something. Talk about on point and poignant…

Sometimes heartbreak isn’t experienced just from losing a lover; sometimes it’s at 3 in the morning and you miss your best friend that you don’t talk to anymore, sometimes it’s when you see a picture of a place you used to live in but you’re very far from it now, sometimes it’s from the stories and poems you read and hear about or when you miss the taste of a home-cooked meal. The human heart is so strong yet so fragile because although it is made of muscle we see and hear and listen and feel and love a bit too much about everything.

Sometimes I read so I don’t have to be stuck inside my mind with my thoughts, sometimes I read when I feel burnt out and feel like giving up and letting go of everything, sometimes I read when I feel like the world is against me and there’s no one I can rely on so I escape to a different world instead. But mostly I read because of the stories I can relate to, to the happiness, sadness, and struggles of people who exist only on paper and in my imagination.

You know that feeling when you’re in your room and you have your earphones one and you’re just dancing to a song. Or that feeling when taking late night walks or talking with friends for hours and not realising how time went by so quickly? It’s in these times that I fall a little bit in love with life, a little bit out of reality and makes everything a bit better.

When I die there’s not gonna be any will left behind, all you’re getting is probably my three thousand unread books which I spent all my money on.

Your 20s are as a confusing time as your teenage years, because you have this realisation of new responsibilities and adulthood but you still feel like you’re a child, and you keep on looking at adults to tell you if you’re doing something wrong except you yourself are an adult now, and you keep second guessing yourself through things with faked confidence while also having a nervous meltdown inside, and it feels so freeing but scary at the same time, kinda like the first time you cross the road by yourself.

People talk about trying new things out all the time and there’s nothing wrong with that; but what about going back to our old stuff? The comfort shows we watch when we’re tired and drained, that specific song we listen to when we’re sad; a book that’s been reread so many times it cover is battered and the spine broken. Sometimes when we go back to the old things we notice what we didn’t before; a background vocal in a song; a quote that hits differently now. Sometimes going back to what we love isn’t so bad.

Ever wonder how many records in history are wrong? How many confessions have been changed to protect someone? How many people have actually been lost in a war ? People who were wrongly accused of a crime ? How much our our history textbooks is fact ?

If you had a choice, would you like to remember your past lives? If that is a concept you believe in .