#aja naomi king

Aja Naomi King <3

Beep Beep Beep. 

My alarm clock blared in the right side of my ear as I rolled over. I snatched my phone off of the charger and pressed ‘stop’. Bakari, my boyfriend for the past 7 years, rubbed his eyes as the sun shined through our sheer curtains. 

“Damn. It’s 8:30 already?”

“Well good morning to you too.”

I rolled my eyes and walked into the bathroom. I didn’t feel like talking to him today. He had told all my coworkers that we were engaged. He even had people bringing food and gifts by here, congratulating us. I already told him I’m not ready to be married. I want to have my career up and off the ground. I don’t have time to pay nor plan for a wedding. He has always been insensitive to how I feel about this wedding shit. He eased his way into the bathroom as I brushed my teeth and sat on the side stool I had beside the sink. 

“Go away Bakari.”

“What is the issue with you and marriage? What do you have against it?”

“Nothing.”

He shook his head in disbelief and looked at me.

“I love you but maybe another break should be good for us until you figure out what you want”

“I don’t want another break and I know what I want. It’s you but I just don’t wanna get married right now, so please get off my ass about”

I pulled him in for a hug and I pecked him on the lips. I walked out of the bathroom after freshening up to put on a winter coat and a sweater dress with my boots. My mama bought me this coat a long time ago, but I couldn’t wear it back then because it was too big at the time. I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled a small smile. I wonder what life would be like for us now if she hadn’t died? Bakari was in the kitchen, making an omelet. I kissed him on the cheek as walked past him.

“You ain’t eating breakfast?”

“Nope I gotta go meet Jackson and can you please pay the light bill for me, I’ll pay you back”

He nodded his hand while I grabbed a bagel from the pack and stuffed it in my mouth. I muttered a “Love you” and closed the door.

Jackson was my “manager”, though it was not officially on paper. I made it to my car and got in. I pulled off and blew as I saw Bakari looking out the living room window. I wanted to be married but not now, I especially didnt want kids so soon. All of that was a distraction from my dreams. Mama always was so strong but at the same time weak when it came to a man. I never wanted to be like that.

April 8th, 2007

“I don’t understand Damon. You asked me to marry you, why are you now changing your mind?”

“I’m sorry Annalise. I love you and the girls with all my heart but I’m not ready like I thought I was”

Damon then kissed my mother on her forehead and walked out the front door. I was 16, Anna was 21, and Amber was 11. Ashlee had already moved out, so it was just me and Amber. We were watching from behind the door as our mother dropped to her knees and bawled her eyes out. Amber was walking out but I grabbed her shoulder and shook my head no. Mama then got up off of her knees and wiped her eyes. It was two days before the supposed to be wedding and that asshole got cold feet and left my mama in her own puddles of tears. She grabbed the phone and called people to tell them the wedding was off. She cried for 3 weeks after that. She never dated again. We’ve seen Damon around town a few times after that, but it was always a quick “Hi” and “Bye”. And you know what’s the craziest thing? He got married two years after rejecting my mama. The nerve of that clown ass nigga. Don’t get me started on our “father”, he left after tweety was born. She was only out for 2 hours before he skipped town. 

I pulled up to the studio and turned my car off. I leaned back and sighed. I was broke as shit. I was hoping and praying this record deal shit works out or we won’t have anywhere to live in the next few weeks. Bakari owned a mechanic shop but shit people were barely coming in nowadays. I got out of my car and walked up to the steel door and banged on it. A few minutes Jackson opened it and I dived inside.

“Shit its cold as a mother fucker outside”

“Yea tell me about it”

He helped me pull my coat off and I walked into the studio. An Italian looking man in a suit was sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone. He looked up at me and smiled. He was fine, but I was here for business, not pleasure.

“Hello, Ms.Conner. I’m Austin Bianchi .”

I shook his hand. He smelled really nice, and he had a nice beard. 

“I’m ahead of the Starlight’s music agency”

“Wow really”

“Yea and Jackson told me I should check you out so show me what you got”

“Um okay”

I looked at Jackson and he motioned for me to go into the booth. I put the headphones on and Jackson gave me a thumbs up. I started singing a song I wrote a while back. He motioned for me to stop and come out of the booth. Austin got up from his seat and clapped. He hurriedly dug around in his pocket as his phone rung.

“Wow, you have a really amazing voice and not to mention you’re beautiful as hell. Here is my card. I should be calling you in a few days. Christmas is here and I want you to spend time with your family before we talk business.”

“Family…right”

I gave a weak smile as he handed me his card. He rubbed my hand in a way that was different from an average handshake. He looked at me and winked.

“Merry Christmas you all”

He put his phone up to his ear and walked out of the room. Jackson looked at me and smiled. He clapped his hands and laughed as he creeped towards me. 

“See I told you. Just trust me baby and I got you”

“Yea right. You know how many people have given me their card and never called me back? This was a waste of time.”

“Now hold on, this man means business…I know for a FACT he’s gonna call back. 

I sighed as I put the card in my back pocket. Jackson rubbed my shoulder as we looked at eachother. 

“You good on rent for this month? You need to borrow again?”

“Nah, Bakari handled it. You already do so much for us and we owe you a lot.”

“Don’t worry about that, when you get to the top. You’ll pay me every penny back, aight?”

He laughed as he hugged me. 

“Well, how your sisters Anna and Amber doing?”

I shrugged my shoulders as I walked over to the coat rack and Jackson helped me bundle back up

“Don’t know, don’t care”

“You ever thought about going back to Michigan for the holidays?”

“Nah. There is nothing there for me”

He looked at me with his arms folded.

“What?”

“Your family is there and I’m sure they all miss you. You only get to have siblings one time in your life. Go home for Christmas Ashlee. You can’t keep avoiding them”

I sighed and opened the door. This was also another conversation I didn’t feel like having. I loved my sisters but going home would open a whole new trauma for me and I definitely don’t need that right now. 

“I’ll think about it”

He nodded his head as I left through the door. As I walked to my car, my phone had a notification come through. 

• REMINDER: ELECTRICITY BILL DUE WITH A TOTAL OF $238 IS DUE IN 3 DAYS.

I sighed in frustration as I unlocked my car door. I continued scrolling through my messages, to see what else I can be mad about, when I see something from an unknown number. I curiously opened it as I sat down in my front seat. 

• Hey June Bug, Grandma wanted me to ask if you could come down for Christmas. She’s really sick and she wanted us to spend this Christmas with her since she thinks it might be her last. Call me or text me when you can. Love you.

I rolled my eyes and put my phone in the cup holder. I hated when she called me June Bug. I was born in June so that’s where that came from. Mama was the only one who was allowed to call me that. I don’t ever recall giving Tweety or Bubbles, my phone number. How she got it is mystery to me. I drove home listening to the old school radio. Boyz 2 Men’s ‘Mama’ came on and I quickly switched it off. I don’t need to listen to any of that shit either. I parked in the parking lot of my building as my phone made another text notification. I sighed as I mumbled to myself “Get a fucking clue tweety.” I picked it up to see another unknown number.

• This is Austin, call me when you can.

I yelled in excitement as I immediately dialed his number. It rang out as I squirmed in my seat. He picked up after the 2nd ring. 

“Hello?”

His voice was deep and husky like. It matched his face, I liked that but I couldn’t think that way. Especially not about this man, someone who basically had my potential music career in his hand. 

“H-hello?”

“Hey Ashlee…It’s Austin. I was wondering if you would like to discuss things over dinner tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yea. Is that gonna be a problem for you? I can resc-”

“Oh no no, tomorrow is perfect!”

“Great…can’t wait to see your beautiful face. Goodnight”

He hung up before I could give a response. I honestly hope he’s not expecting more out of this dinner. I’m not gonna fuck my way to the top like other hoes, I want to earn it. I made it upstairs to my apartment and unlocked my door. 

“Babe is that you?”

“No its a burglar”

I walked into the living room and he rolled his eyes in a playful way.

“Your sarcasm isn’t very attractive sometimes”

“You love it enough to deal with it”

We both laughed and I dived on the couch. I snuggled up under him.

“So how the session go?”

“It went really well. A big name label owner wants to have a meeting with me and Jackson”

“That’s great baby. When?”

I shrugged my shoulders.

“Tomorrow afternoon I think”

He rubbed my arm as I scooted in closer to him. I told the truth or at least half of it. Bakari would flip if he knew I was going on a dinner date with another man. My phone lit up as it showed Tweety had sent another message.

• Please let me know something by tomorrow June bug…We miss you. Goodnight

I sighed as I looked up at Bakari. 

“How do you feel about going to Michigan for Christmas?”

He smiled and raised up a little. 

“Oh snap you for real?”

“Yeah.”

“I finally get to meet your family?”

I nodded my head as he hugged me and kissed me on the forehead. As long as this meeting goes well, this should be a smooth holiday season. 

“Amber”

“Yes?”

“Can you bring me my medicine out of the cabinet please”

“Yes mam”

I zipped my duffle bag up and walked into the bathroom and grabbed the medicine bottle out of the cabinet. Since grandma has been sick she’s been nicer to me. I wasn’t really her favorite grandchild and yet I’m the only one taking care of her. I walked into her room and handed her the pill bottle. She looked so sick. Pale, skinny and almost bald. I wanted to cry every time I saw her.

“Thank you, Tweety”

“You’re welcome. Do you need anything else before I leave for tonight?”

“No baby but thank you and please be careful”

“I will granny. I love you”

I kissed her on the cheek and I walked back into my room. I threw my duffle bag over my shoulder and I grabbed grandma’s car keys off of the counter. Another night of me shaking my ass for a few $100 dollar bills. Grandma thinks I’m working at a nursing home. I don’t have the heart to tell her I’m a stripper. I know my mother is looking down on me disappointed but this is my last option right now. I’m a 23-year-old college dropout, I had nothing to be proud of. 

I left the house with scrubs on just to sell the facade. I pulled up to the club and walked around to the back. I entered through the door into the dressing room. I was greeted by the girls I worked with. It’s crazy. Even though it’s the holiday’s mother fuckers still wanted to spend money here. I wasn’t complaining though. I needed all the money I could get. I put on my white diamond bodysuit and some glitter pumps. I exhaled as I looked in the mirror along with the other girls. I have been working here for at least a year and I could never get used to dancing naked in front of perverted men. As much as I hated it here, I needed this money so I could leave this damn town. I hated Michigan. Grandma is the only reason I’m still here.

The lights were flashing red and purple. By the time I do stop working here I’m gonna be blind as fuck. I waited while until the other girl stopped dancing so they could call my name. As she stepped off stage the DJ called me stage name “Sparkle”. I don’t know why I picked that name, but I needed something on the spot. I gracefully stepped onto the stage and the DJ started playing Chris Brown’s “Liquor”. I body rolled when he started singing. Men whooped and hollered while throwing 5 and 1 dollar bills at me. When he made it into the chorus I peeled off my body suit and they all went crazy. My nipple piercings shined until the lights as I took my body and wrapped it around the pole. I spun around it while letting my hair down. My bedazzled thong glittered as I hit a split. Men started licking their lips and throwing hundreds at me. The song ended and I took a bow. One of the girls I worked with ran up and gave me a bag as I gathered the money they threw at me. They stuffed money in my underwear and some handed it to me as I walked off stage. 

I sighed as I made it back into the dressing room. It’ll get easier. A lie I keep telling myself once in a while to keep me going. I gathered up all my stuff and put on a t-shirt and joggers. I counted up $1200 dollars. I smiled in satisfaction as I put it in my purse. I told everyone goodbye as I headed back to the car. I wrapped up in my wool jacket as I sat inside the car. I waited a few minutes while it heated up. I looked out the window to see, Emily, a Hispanic girl I work with arguing with some dude. I couldn’t see his face at first. She stomped away back into the building as the boy put his head down and pulled a cigarette out of his pocket. He looked up and my heart dropped. It was Demarcus. The man I was once so in love with so long ago. I let my seat back and waited until he walked away. When did he get back in town? Did he see me? 

March 4th, 2009

“Come on Amber we’re gonna miss it”

“I’m coming”

Mama emerged from the kitchen wiping her hands on a dish towel.

“Yall be careful and Marcus you better take care of my baby girl”

“I will Ms. Connor”

“All right now Y'all have fun”

It was our first date. He was 15 and I was 14. We went to see that horror movie “The Uninvited”. At that time, he was one of the only kids in 10th grade that had his license and a car. I was a tad bit jealous but then again, I was only 14, I didn’t care about a car. I was crazy about him. We made it to the movies on time and I was snuggled up under him the whole time. Covering my eyes whenever a jump scare came up. He was so mature for his age and really smart, I think that’s what attracted me to him. I had a crush on him since we were in 2nd grade. Mama didn’t allow us to date until we were all in high school so when I made it to 9th grade, I asked him did he want to be my boyfriend. Of course, he said yes and we started spending more and more time together. The movie ended and it was 10:30. I didn’t wanna go home, I wanted to stay with him a tad bit longer.

“I don’t wanna go home right now Marcus, can we stop and get something to eat”

“Uh, yea sure what do you want?”

“How about Ihop?”

“We’ll do”

He took me to Ihop and we ate in the car. After we were finished he drove us to a little area at the edge of town, with no houses or trees just darkness.

“So what do you wanna do now?”

He shrugged his shoulders and laughed. I looked at him and leaned over and kissed him. He kissed me back and next thing you know I was in my bra and panties laid out in the back seat. I just wanted to see what sex felt like. All my friends had lost their virginity and I was the only one who hasn’t had their “cherry popped” yet. I could say it wasn’t terrible but it isn’t great either. He drove me back home and it was an awkward quietness the whole way there. He pulled into our driveway and we sat there.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable”

“It’s okay, I think I shouldn’t have pressured you into it.”

He put his head down and played with his fingers.

“No no, it’s all right. I’m glad we were each other’s first”

I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. I opened the car door and hopped out. He let the passenger window down and leaned over.

“See you later Amber. I love you”

“I love you too, goodnight”

He pulled off and I walked onto the porch. Mama slung the door open.

“Girl where the hell you been? It’s 12:00″

“Sorry mama we lost track of time. We went out to eat after the movies and then to the park to walk around”

“Well, at least your home. Get in here and get ready for bed”

“Yes mam”

I walked into the house and upstairs to my room. I was the only child living with mama. Everyone else had moved out. Mama was always easy to talk to,but I never told her I lost my virginity though. That would’ve broken her heart. I especially couldn’t tell her about Ashlee helping me take care of my problem. She is still angry at me about that too,but it was my decision. I try not to think about it too much. 

I sighed as I pulled in the driveway. I bathe and got ready for bed, I checked on grandma then I seen  Anna texted me saying she will be home for Christmas. I smiled and put my phone on my chest. Believe it or not, I couldn’t wait to see my sisters. Christmas wouldn’t be the same without them

December 1st, 2002

“Alright Amber it’s your turn this year to pick a color scheme for the tree”

“How bout’ pink mama?”

“Mama no, she always picks pink when its her turn”

“Yea how bout’ orange or something?”

“No it’s your sisters turn and if she wants pink she will have pink and besides there are different shades of pink”

Mama squeezed my fat 5-year-old face with her perfectly painted red nails. Since I was the youngest, the picking the color scheme tree thing was all new to me. Every year I picked pink much to my sisters, Ashlee and Anna’s, dismay. My mother was always our rock. God was she the best. Our dad was never around, but she did it all by herself. I heard he left her stranded at the hospital when she had me. When I was little, I always thought women made babies by themselves, boy did I get a surprise when I got older. I looked at my mother with such amazement. Like damn, how could she raise such beautiful and strong women by herself? May 17th, 2011 is the day my whole life changed. I lost her, my best friend, my everything. I was only 15 with nowhere to go. Ashlee moved to Chicago after she graduated and Anna got married soon after she left college and had a family of her own. Neither one of them wanted to take me in. I ended up living with my grandma and boy she was hell on earth. There was a tad bit of light in my darkness though: Demarcus Austin. My first time, my first kiss, and my first love. After high school, we went to college together for one semester. We were in love or at least I thought we were. He ended up cheating on me and we broke up. The last I heard is that he moved back home to Michigan and he had a daughter with the girl he cheated on me with. I started missing my mother even more and I flunked out of school. I had to move back home with grandma and get a job. Neither Ashlee or Anna ever called me to check on me when I was going through all of this. Even though the Christmas holidays are coming up, God be with us all cause this family is nothing like the one you see in hallmark movies…