#allowance
I’m starting to think my SD who gives me $1200/meet is actually an average joe who saves $1200 to see me. This is the third month in a row I’ve only seen him once a month….
Not complaining, I just find it funny …
When to talk about allowance on dating sites?
This is what works for me. Allowance talk usually goes 1 of 2 ways.
1. IF they have shown themselves to be generous and a quality person from the jump (ie: picking a nice resteraunt, offering/agreeing to pay for travel, expensive house/nice job/etc. when screening, great conversationalist, etc. then, I will wait for the end of the first date or right after they ask for a second date to bring up an allowance. This strategy allows for me to charm a worthy man in person, who’s likely to give me more after meeting, then had I just asked online. (Note: I would say only about 10% of the men I talk to on these sites meet this criteria.)
2. (Majority of my interactions) I just straight up ask within a few messages. Somewhat along the lines of “Hey I think we’re looking for the same things, what were you thinking allowance wise” or “what would you need from me in an arrangement, and what are you able to offer.” Of course more eloquently, but you get the just.
Remember you have this!! Stay strong, don’t settle, take his offer and double it, & if he can’t meet your needs, decline. I know survival sex workers exist, BUT if you can have a vanilla job in your back pocket, DO IT. You’ll be more mentally, and eventually, financially happy, if you’re able to decline low ball offers. Happy sugaring!!
Xoxo
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When I was a kid I didn’t always get allowance like many of the other kids in my neighborhood and school. Those kids got as much as $5 a week for doing way less chores than I did (this was the 80’s so $5 could get you a ton of stuff). Despite my pleading I didn’t get an allowance.
Then, one day, a miracle happened and my parents agreed to give me an allowance: $.50 a week. That’s right, $.50. It was a pittance compared to some other kids’ allowances. You know what? I didn’t care. I couldn’t believe my parents were giving me money even if it was only $.50.
Looking back I know that my allowance was just loose change from my mom’s purse. My cousins laughed so hard hearing I got $.50 a week. It didn’t matter to me. I was grateful for this gift from my parents even though it barely got me one game at the arcade (I miss arcades). I hope to never completely lose that sense of appreciation.
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In negotiating allowances, I usually take one of three approaches:
1) Overbidding.
«Let’s start out at 10k per month,» I say, as I bat my lashes and take a sip of the Krug. Of course I don’t think he’s going to say yes to this offer. I’m not stupid. But he’ll likely counter with something that’s closer to what I actually want, say 7k, and I’ll accept with a comment on how I’m only doing this because I like him so much.Works for: SDs who are totally infatuated with you already. High net worth. Insecure. Needs ego boost. Susceptible to luxury.
2) Avoiding the question
When he asks what my expectations are, I won’t answer. It’s unladylike, I might hint. «I feel a bit weird throwing around numbers like this. The allowance is, after all, meant to reflect our connection. And that’s what I’m looking for above all, an interpersonal relationship, not a transaction,» I say, thus establishing myself as something special, as if I’m not one of the regular golddiggers. I am, obviously, just not to him. And then, sneakily, without him noticing, I will have him start spoiling me anyway.Works for: SDs who want something ‘real’ and long term. Gentlemen. Old-fashioned with values.
3) Underbidding
Sometimes I’ll lowball my allowance. Why? It’s a known psycological manipulation tactic, that asking for something little primes your target for the next request; suggesting a moderate allowance and then adding will likely positively surprise him, and he won’t hesitate to accept yes. That’s when you sink your proverbial nails in: «of course,» you add, «more than money, I apprecaite being gifted. My boyfriends always spoil me with nice surprises, and I trust you’ll be nothing less than generous.» Several times this has proven very effective, at least if clothes, bags and shoes are what you plan to spend your money on anyway.Works for: SDs who “have no trouble finding girls outside of SA/whatever site your using”
Now, turning vanilla men into SDs is a different matter. More on that later.
