Sometimes I think about how different my life would be if I married the vanilla man everyone thought I was going to marry.
A life with no anal hooks or orgasm control or spankings or secret butt plugs or leashes or gags or groping or degradation or drool or lingerie or shock collars or cages or spreader bars or… happiness.
Description: Heartbreak is one hell of a bitch. And one Edward Teach could tell you all about it. Yet thanks to Fate being a little trickster, there’s a person who enters his life to remind him of how nice it is of having someone he can confide in, someone he can care about, and someone he can trust. To remind him, what it means to have a friend for better or worse.
Part Summary: After the captain asks you to come over for tea, you slowly become friends - and one day, you even get to learn what happened to him and Stede Bonnet… In a way.
Word counter: 4.5 K
A/N: I am wholeheartedly sure that My Jolly Sailor Bold (a real ballad that was sung) is such a fucking bop. Even though it doesn’t mirror Stede and Ed’s relationship perfectly, I think Edward is definitely Maria in this case (the maiden singing the song). Also, the next part will be more crew-relationships-oriented since Buttons will be celebrating his 600th bask in the moonlight and the crew decides to celebrate with him. Also I know Edward isn’t being quite himself just yet and so far, he hasn’t been true to the cannon that much (that is why it took me so long to write this part) and it’s been heavy on my mind; but as soon as we untangle the Stede issue, you will get some silly, happy and adventurous friend and captain Blackbeard. I would also like to write a few parts that’ll match the show’s chaotic and silly energy and which will be more crew-oriented That’s a promise.
“Captain?” - You called upon entering the room. As you looked around, holding the silver tray in your hands, you could immediately see that the room was looking much different than what you’d been used to. For one, it was cleaned up properly; there were no empty bottles in sight, no torn documents laying on the floor, and no dust settled around on the furniture. The air wasn’t as stable as it usually was and some of the cloths covering the windows were pushed out of the frame, showing the night sky. There had been multiple candles lit throughout the room, making it cozily lit up, and there was a small fire in the fireplace. You had your doubts when it came to the last-mentioned element, but Blackbeard hadn’t set the ship on fire until that day, right? It was probably safe, you assumed. Upon placing the tray down, you had to smile to yourself - did the man clean up just because he invited you over for a chat? That was… Actually very nice and polite of him. It definitely made you feel more comfortable inside the cabin. - “Your evening brew is here, just like you ordered, and excuse me, for it is a bit colder than usual. I had to attend to a matter in the subdeck.”
The man turned his face around to look at you, jumping out of his bed immediately to walk towards you. Until that point, Edward was worried that you might’ve been too scared to come over… Or, in a worse case, Izzy lost his temper and threw you overboard. There was even a moment when Edward wanted to go check on your well-being, to see how you were getting along with the crew, but just as he walked to the door, the sudden burst of courage left him as quickly as it appeared. The anxiety within him was too intense. The only time he was leaving his room was when a raid was starting, just to make his men more courageous and to get a few good punches or shots himself. At this point, Edward was sure he wouldn’t be able to leave the room in broad daylight. Would he walk out of the safe walls at the beginning of this new, recent Blackbeard phase? Sure, he was careless a few weeks back. Now, when all the feelings had settled down once more, and after he had been alone with the demons? Not in a million years. That was why having you around felt refreshing; in Edward’s eyes, you portrayed a new way of seeing the outside world.
“Great, awesome. Come on then, pour yourself a cup too, don’t waste any time. What sweets did Roach send today?” - The man asked excitedly, preparing himself a cup as well. That night, he was as dapper as you’ve ever seen him; he actually took his time and had a bath, combed his hair after months, and used Stede’s wardrobe to dress properly… Just like Stede taught him to. You had to admit that the linen shirt, black tie, and black culottes suited him. The man in front of you suddenly felt like a living, breathing human being - which was a stark contrast to the empty vessel full of rage you had the pleasure to meet when you arrived. “Actually, I baked this with Roach’s help since this night is a bit of a special occasion. It wasn’t anything too difficult, just a simple cake; he learned a thing or two. Had to protect this piece with my body, the crew loved it. But as you see, I managed to sneak one out for you.” - With a chuckle, you pushed the sweet pastry towards him and poured some tea into your cup, preparing it just like you loved it. Woah, now that you thought about it, you hadn’t had a proper cup of tea in weeks. Back when you worked as a servant, you used to have some tea at least once a day. This felt nice, reminiscent of the life you used to have.
The simple comment about you and Roach baking together made Edward pause in his actions for a nanosecond - he furrowed while pouring milk into his cup, shooting a quick gaze your way. You and roach were… Baking together? And you said you managed to teach him a trick or two? Since you continued preparing the tea and didn’t realize there should be anything wrong with such a statement, Edward decided to stay silent as well. He thought you hated the place to bits, that you were terrified of everything, and everyone; at least, that would any captive in their right mind would do. They wouldn’t… Befriend the pirates that had abducted them, would they?
“How was your day, captain?” - You carried on with the formalities just like you were used to, sipping out of your cup while standing there awkwardly. Obviously, you realized that it was rather shitty to ask him about something like this, but on the other hand, you wanted this conversation to be casual and relaxed. You wanted to assure him that however, he was feeling, it was normal. That he was normal. “Oh, well…” - Edward chuckled, clearly flustered by such a simple question. Seeing this kind of reaction made you smile as well, waiting for the response. - “Nothing too extraordinary. I just… Sat around and thought about… Stuff. Like I do every day.” “Ah, I suppose even something like that can be amusing. Did you figure anything out?” - You answered, trying to sound as polite as possible. For a moment, there was just this very awkward silence hanging in the air - until Edward shook his head, inhaled sharply, and caught your attention once more.
“Come here and sit down.” - The man walked back to his bed, climbing between the sheets on his unfolded bed. Stede’s former bed, you thought to yourself. He put the cake beside his legs and crossed his knees over one another, waiting for you to join him. At first, you’ve been quite unsure - should you really do it? Or was that too rude? It didn’t sound like any kind of order, it was more of an invitation if anything. But to sit with him in one bed? With someone who was above you in the hierarchy of the ship? You’ve stood there with the cup in your palm, staring at the captain with an unreadable expression on your face. Edward, as if he was trying to get a hold of his temper, closed his eyes and smirked; then looked at you once more, his eyes being warm and inviting. Oh, you realized, he was just trying to be a good host. - “I’m serious. I won’t cut your head off if you sit here. Make yourself comfortable, woman, I invited you over to have a conversation.”
“With all due respect, I don’t think that rather appropriate.” - Was your explanation as you put the cup down, pushing one of the chairs his way. There was still a decorum you wanted to stick to - the decorum you’ve been holding to at your old work. Servants were never on the same level as their employers and that was something you needed to remember; back in your madame’s mansion, you used to stand in the corner of the room, waiting for orders. No way you’d climb into his bed just like that. - “I’ll just have a seat here if that’s alright with you?” “I don’t care, just sit down. You looked awkward standing there.” - His palm waved in the place you’d been standing just moments ago. The man rolled his eyes and chuckled before he started to stir his tea. - “Given what you’ve told me about the cake, I guess you made yourself some friends here?” - The man said quietly, looking down into his cup. His expression and tone were so plain that the blood in your veins froze with each beat of your heart.
Fuck. You just… You just divulged the very secret you couldn’t tell him, did you? Cursing under your breath, you looked away, but you managed to keep it all together. With one careful look his way, you were able to tell that Ed wasn’t enraged just yet - and begging for mercy was surely one of the things that, indeed, angered him. It meant that whatever you were about to do or say, you had to do it with confidence to keep him content. “I don’t know what should I tell you.” - You said honestly, looking the captain in his eyes while sipping on the tea. Your calm aura caught Ed’s attention, making the man turn his head your way. - “It just kind of… Happened, you see? I hated them at first, of course…” - No, you fucking didn’t, your head answered as soon as the words left your mouth. - “But there’s something about your crew, captain. They are… Good men with good hearts. I figured out that befriending them would be much simpler than fighting with them every day. Because that gets very repetitive.”
“That’s actually… Very smart and I agree with your opinion. Although it’s pretty strange that a captive made friends out of their captors, a solid case of Stockholm syndrome if I might say so myself, these men are good ones. I don’t think any of them are suited for piracy and I have zero ideas about how the fuck did they make it this far, but they’re managing, I suppose.” “If you like your crew, why are you like that?” “Why I’m like what?” - Edward asked back and put his cap on his thighs, looking you in the eyes. “Alone, isolated… It wouldn’t have to be like this if you’d like. And, with all respect, something tells me you don’t like being alone here. Haven’t seen you outside this room other than when you joined us on raids. The crew seems to… They seem to like you and respect you, even though it’s pretty obvious some kind of conflict went down before I got her. They haven’t talked about mutiny once.” - Well, you thought, you sort of did, all the time. But the mutiny itself wasn’t directed against the captain, you just often talked about how you’d get Izzy off the ship.
At first, you thought you asked about something too personal; the man frowned your way (this frown was of one the scary, outraged ones) and took in a sharp inhale. When looking at the way he widened his eyes, you were sure that he was about to blow up any second; then, Edward let all the air out and let his shoulders drop while leaning his head into the wall behind him, closing his eyes. “I can’t. It’s just… Not fucking possible, I’m not that strong. Because anytime I look at any of them…” - I see him because they all have a piece of him inside, Edward wanted to say, but he stopped himself at the last second. What could you fucking know about him and Stede? It would be nonsense to talk about that when you wouldn’t be able to understand him. - “Forget it.” “Are you sure you don’t wanna talk about…” “Pretty positive, Mrs. Trott. Thank you for your concern, but forget it and don’t talk about it. And that’s an order, understood?” - Edward dismissed quickly, dropping the subject altogether. You knew that you had to hit a nerve - it was the melancholic look in his eyes that made you adamant about it. Again, there was this awkward silence until you leaned your head to your shoulder, smiling at him.
“It might be rude to ask, captain…” - You chuckled while stirring your tea before looking up to him. - “But do you have any good stories? Your crew mentioned something here and there, and you’re a legend on the mainland, of course, but hearing those stories from Blackbeard himself? Wouldn’t that be quite something?” And that was how you made the first step towards knowing each other a bit better. It was hard to say for how long you were just sitting there with an empty cup of tea on your thighs, with your palm supporting your chin as you listened to the stories eagerly… But you surely had overstayed long enough to be sleepless and grumpy tomorrow. All the stories Edward had told you were incredibly violent and bloody, it was something a lady surely wouldn’t get to hear from rich, bored posh families. But just as brutal as the stories were, they were just as clever and funny - there was something about the way Ed made you interact with his narration that made it so extremely interesting. As he finished the third story, about how he and his friend Calico Jack served on Hornigold’s ship, you furrowed and jolted around; all the muscles on your arse hurt like a hell broke loose. That was your queue to leave. Seconds after, even Edward yawned loudly, which made you sure that it was the right time to end your small tea party.
Just when you were about to walk out of the room, the man called out your supposed surname; since you were used to it, you turned around with a smile. - “Yes, captain?” “This was… Fun.” - The man muttered, tugging on one of the shirt’s sleeves while shifting his weight on his legs. Edward was looking adorable when he got flustered; blood suddenly rushed into his cheeks, his eyes were all over the place and he kept on opening and closing his lips. “It was, it was.” - You assured him calmly, still standing in the opened door. “Would you want to come again? To listen to some more stories?” “Under one condition.” - Hearing your amused tone, Edward looked up and waited for what you had in mind; will you force him to come out of his comfort zone, out of his shell; meaning you’ll wish to lure him out of his cabin? Or will you want to talk about what happened Stede was around? On the other hand, no matter how uncomfortable it could get, the comfort of your presence was something he didn’t want to lose. Edward was ready to negotiate. He expected anything, so he was taken away when you asked him… - “I know my life was boring compared to yours and I also know that I don’t have a lot of amusing stories, but I’ll come only if you promise that I can tell you a few of mine.” There was a quiet moment in which Edward chuckled before looking up at you. - “You see, there doesn’t exist anything like a boring story. Only the presentation can get boring. That means that… I’ll see you tomorrow, Mrs. Trott, and I’ll expect to hear about some of your thrilling adventures.” - Edward smiled your way and raised his last cup of tea to toast you. - “Sleep well.”
And so, the evenings spent with the captain quickly became a part of your day-to-day routine as well. In the morning, you brought him his morning brew of tea, asking him about the basic formalities; how did you sleep? How are you feeling? Any special requests? And it couldn’t be going any better, really; you had a strong feeling that you and the captain were on friendly terms just after two weeks, just like you were with the rest of the crew. Throughout the day, you helped with anything you were asked of; Swede taught you how to take care of the rigging (and how to sing without sounding like your farts were stunned), and Pete often asked you to help him with moving the metal balls around the ship and checking the the the cannons. You spent hours upon hours doing so, so in the meantime, Pete was able to teach you the most basic things about cannons; how to operate them, for example. Wee John let you stay with him during his gunpowder checkups, which were happening suspiciously often in your opinion, and Buttons (even though he wasn’t exactly thrilled about having you around), let you watch him steer the ship. Frenchie taught you some more old, sailor songs, letting you write them down in a songbook so you could sing them along with the crew. And that were just some of the activities you were doing throughout the day; sometimes, you were just cleaning up or cooking, and other days you were forced to have a patrol to oversee the quality of others’ work. Each day was different and yet, they were all the same in a sense. And at the end of each day, all of the crew members gathered in the subdeck, letting you read them stories - after which you popped into Edward’s cabin for a talk.
You liked his opinions and thoughts. The longer you spent inside the walls of his cabin, the surer you’ve become - the man in front of you was by no means as stupid or as scary as you initially thought he’d be. The beginning of this friendship might’ve happened because you’ve seen him breaking down, but to be frank, you didn’t mind in the slightest. The longer you spent together, the better you got to know each other; and the more Edward got to know you, the less vigilant he was becoming… And the other way around. Soon enough, you ran out of pompous action stories; the ones you’ve been telling each other were now more emotional and intimate. Sometimes, he even mentioned Stede without realizing it, jumping back to the subject. You still didn’t know what kind of relationship these two men had, but you were sure that it had to be full of mutual trust, full of warmth, and it was also apparent that Edward used to be very fond of that man; until something broke inside of him and he became bitter. Because anytime Edward would mention Stede in his stories unconsciously, it was nice; but as soon as you bumped into the subject with his vigilance up, the man simply shut down and changed the subject.
Being on friendly terms with the crew and the captain meant that the only person who absolutely despised you, and whom you despised back with great passion, was Izzy. You and everyone on the ship still carried out all of your assigned tasks without a single objection, but it was clear as day that barely anyone was truly scared of him at that point. They were more worried about the captain’s temper and wrath… On the other hand, Blackbeard liked you and you were everyone’s friend, right? So, the chances were tipped in your favor. Yes, the mutiny was still a very real option and you discussed it rather often, but you wouldn’t do that to Izzy in a million years; you had to have a common enemy, right? He was that one person everyone hated and someone you talked about behind their back, but that was still quite a useful position.
As usual, it was an evening of a long, nice day, when you finished reading the story, you walked to his cabin with tea prepared for serving. This time, you were a bit later than usual; you talked about the moral lesson with those who were still awake. It was quite interesting since that night, you read them Emperor’s new clothes. Once you were sure everyone was done with expressing their thoughts and opinions, you blew the candle off and left the subdeck, fetching the tray from one of the wooden counters in the kitchen. The door was a bit darker than usual and the sight of Edward made you furrow, but you tried to remain cheerful. - “Your tea is here, captain!” - You exclaimed, singing those words while putting the tray down on the table.
This time, he was cuddled up in his bed, and just from the way he was laying there, it was obvious that something was wrong. Naturally, you concluded that this ‘something’ has something in common with Stede since he was the cause of most of Edward’s ailments. Edward appeared to be hurt and lonely, gazing at the night sky and full moon longingly with plain, bored eyes. He was dressed in the infamous pink robe, covered up with the blanket up to his chin. With a bored sigh, Edward gave you a short look before turning his face away from, you, looking out onto the sea. For a while, you just sat down in the chair and stirred your tea, waiting for him to move or do something… But he was completely out of it. And so, you started talking about your day to occupy his mind a bit. It was obvious that this time, your conversation won’t be as relaxing as it usually was. “The weather was really nice today, it was cloudy but warm… The air smelled nice. Olivia seemed to enjoy it; she was flying around the ship throughout the entire day and her children came over for a visit… At least that was what Buttons claimed. Oh, this also reminds me - it’s a full moon today, so naturally, Buttons didn’t bother with wearing any clothes the whole day since he was ready to back in the moonlight. I had to look away each time he started talking to me, it was so embarrassing. The cannons are in a good shape, and so are all the guns and gunpowder. By the way, I have a suspicion that Wee John might have some kind of deviation; that guy is obsessed with everything that can catch on fire. And then, Frenchie taught me another song…” - At that, Edward finally turned his head your way, waking up from the lethargy. - “I think you’d like it, maybe.” “Sing it to me.” - The man asked in a flat tone before turning to watch the seas again.
You weren’t confident when it came to singing, not even after getting lessons from Swede and training with Frenchie, but you didn’t refuse - you put the cup away and cleared your throat and looked out of the window as well, humming the tune at first to remind yourself of the how the song went. The atmosphere in the room was right for this song since it was a bit melancholic and slow. “Upon one summer’s morning, I carefully did stray, down by the Walls of Wapping, where I met a sailor gay.” - Was the first chorus of the song. Edward knew the song by heart, of course; it was an old ballad he used to sing back when he was merely a sailor. It was a melancholic one, sung from the perspective of a lady involved in an unhappy relationship with a sailor. - “Conversing with a young lass, who seemed to be in pain… Saying William, when you go, I fear you will never return again.”
The man closed his eyes painfully, taking in a long breath. Just as you sang the first word of the chorus, you heard him mumbling the song under his breath and tears appearing in his eyes, making your heart sink a bit. - “My heart is pierced by Cupid. I disdain all glittering gold. There is nothing can console me - but my jolly sailor bold.” - Starting to sing the first word of the second verse, he pulled his palm from under the blanket, asking you to hold it while listening to the story. If he’d done so at the beginning of your friendship, you’d reluctantly deny his request; but since you knew him pretty well at that point, you caught his palm without hesitation before walking next to the bed, sitting at the very edge of it. Singing the words while looking out of the window, you started to smooth his hair subconsciously, holding one of his palms in yours while he cried silently.
When you ended, there was nothing but silence mixed with silent sobs; Edward put the back of his head on your thigh, letting you smoothly hit your forehead and comb his hair with your fingers. “Can I have a question?” - The man asked after a while, having you hum in agreement. - “What do you think love is? How does one know they are in love?” - This question was one of the unexpected ones, but you weren’t too alarmed by it. You thought your answer through carefully before answering. “Describing love is really tricky, but I personally think that it’s the tension you feel around the person, the ease you feel you talk and spend time together. It’s also the moment when you lock your eyes on him and when you freeze… And just like that, you know that your heart is his. Can I have a question too?” - You whispered, feeling the painful grip on your palm tighten a bit as Edward bit his lower lip, trying to fight off the incoming sobs. The man nodded, so you decided to ask him without hesitation. - “Is this what happened between you and Stede?” - Even though you didn’t specify what you thought happened, it was obvious that you had a clear idea on your mind.
The men met when the Spaniards almost killed Stede, they clicked and became friends… Friends who fell in love. But something must’ve happened; something so profound that it broke Edward down. And realizing he was brokenhearted all along actually put things into the right perspective and made a lot of stuff make sense. This wasn’t just another betrayal between two pirates, oh no, this was much more personal; this was a break-up. This sort of spite was the most dangerous of them all. Still holding on to your palm, the man nodded and a weak moan escaped his lips; he wasn’t able to fight the pain anymore. The entire time he cried, you just sat by his side and let him get it all out, going through all the pain by his side. It took almost an hour before he finally started to fall asleep; even though he looked at you while sipping on a cold you forced him to drink. - “We know so much about each other and… I still don’t even know your first name.” “You never asked, captain.” - The bit of playfulness in your tone made Edward smile back at you, however, the smile was weak and unsure. - “It’s Y/N. My name is Y/N.” “And my name is Edward. It’s nice to meet you, Y/N. Thank you for staying here… Again.” “Anytime, Edward.” - You answered, trying to see if the usage of his name will enrage him. But when he smiled back at you, you just blew a candle out, letting only the last one on his nightstand burn. - “I’ll be here anytime you’d need.”
I get to be part of the magic. I get to see a writer’s process, which is really special, especially having gone to Juilliard where a lot of the things we were doing were by playwrights who were deceased, so to have a live playwright in the room is such a treat. There’s no map for you to follow and take your journey. You are Lewis and Clark. You are the mapmaker.
![dailyphillipasoo: Happy Birthday Phillipa Soo! [May 31, 1990] I get to be part of the magic. I get t](https://64.media.tumblr.com/71c323e2c0d5c44e2a8b221a79b43495/tumblr_p9lv6tbaHs1ufdeiqo1_500.png "dailyphillipasoo: Happy Birthday Phillipa Soo! [May 31, 1990] I get to be part of the magic. I get t")
![dailyphillipasoo: Happy Birthday Phillipa Soo! [May 31, 1990] I get to be part of the magic. I get t](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8f91e5ff62aa2506abfa9a36c05d5abc/tumblr_p9lv6tbaHs1ufdeiqo3_500.png "dailyphillipasoo: Happy Birthday Phillipa Soo! [May 31, 1990] I get to be part of the magic. I get t")
![dailyphillipasoo: Happy Birthday Phillipa Soo! [May 31, 1990] I get to be part of the magic. I get t](https://64.media.tumblr.com/cb79cc2a486d4ec6f20c19ebdb2179f0/tumblr_p9lv6tbaHs1ufdeiqo2_500.png "dailyphillipasoo: Happy Birthday Phillipa Soo! [May 31, 1990] I get to be part of the magic. I get t")
