#amateur psychology
I’ve been seeing a lot about these elusive beings called “Ambiverts” on the internet recently. “What the hell is an Ambivert?” you ask - well, Ambiverts are the alleged middle ground between Introverts and Extroverts. Ambiverts refuse to conform to the labels of “introvert” or “extrovert”, so they’ve created a rebellious third party. It’s the social equivalent of being Ambidextrous.
A common misconception about Myers Briggs and amateur psychology in general is that one must fit into all the stereotypes of one label. Much like sexualities, for every personality trait there is a spectrum. By Ambivert logic, we should all be ambiverts - because extroverts sure as hell don’t always feel like partying 24/7 and Introverts don’t always want to be in their houses reading books and snuggling kittens. Not everyone is 100% an Introvert or 100% an Extrovert.
Introversion and Extroversion have little to do with the activities you partake in, and a lot to do with how you gain your energy. For example, you’ll find many Introverts that are into the performing arts - an extremely social endeavor… But you’ll also find them in the break room after, cooling off. You may find an Extrovert in a similar situation, but instead of breaking they’ll go out and chat with the audience members until the gig ends. In this situation an “Ambivert” would be open to doing either of those things depending on their MOOD. You may find extroverts in the break room, and you may find Introverts blowing kisses into the crowd - it always goes both ways.
So in conclusion, Ambiverts are, for the most part a myth. This is not to say that one cannot identify as an Ambivert – but I think this concept of Ambiverts offends the notion that there in fact, is a spectrum of Introversion and Extroversion. However, If you score 50% extroversion and 50% Introversion, okay, congratulations! You’re one of the few, the proud… the ambiverts.
Basic Instinct
Focus on it too much, and it would be easy to write off eroticism as an entirely physical pursuit, that it’s too intrinsically biological, too completely absurd, for it to be taken seriously if it didn’t make us hard and wet. We’d laugh each other out of the bedroom with all those bits that flap and sway. It must be impulse, the biological need for us to not see it as something funny, just so that we can continue as a species.
But what little that explains is so far from all that is sexual that such an idea is what’s absurd, rather than the action itself. Kink, and perversion, and even the more vanilla; oral sex, anal sex, make no sense if that’s what you’re going on. I’ve heard kissing is something about assessing the immune system of a potential mate, but quite so much? Nah, there’s something more at play there.
And it would be easy to just write that off as the mental side, but I think it’s more base than that. It’s the rationalisation of these absurd instincts, this irrational desire for someone else that you can’t explain, and you have no control over. Attraction isn’t something you choose, and yet here we are, attracted and being attractive. Turn it into a game, something you can twist and turn and enjoy in all sorts of ways, and you’re imposing just about as much autonomy as it’s possible to impose.
It’s why I enjoy watching two girls kiss, and why my hips will involuntarily thrust forwards when you tease me with that delicious tongue. It’s why I tie you up, and why I like hurting you so very, very much. Well. It’s one of the reasons.
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