#ana poem

Im sorry.

I’m sorry I’m always tired.

I’m sorry I never smile.

I’m sorry I never leave my room.

I’m sorry I don’t take care of myself.

I’m sorry I never tell you what’s wrong.

I’m sorry I’m not strong enough to ask for help.

I’m sorry I’m so insecure.

I’m sorry I’m in love with you.

I’m sorry I never told you.

I’m sorry that even though you’re happy with her, I still want you.

I’m sorry I’m selfish… but I love you and I know I could treat you so much better than her.

I’m sorry I think she doesnt treat you like the queen you are, when she yells at you and hurts your heart, I would never hurt you like that.

Im so sorry…. that you don’t love me back.

My skin is translucent.
The bags under my eyes are an iris purple that fade into a bruised green.
My eyes themselves are glossed over and empty, long since void of any joy.
My chin freckled with redness from the teenage acne that wouldn’t go away.
My skin dry and lips chapped, a smile perfected in it’s trade of foolery.
My scalp thinning, hair dry, it doesn’t seem to shine like it used to.
My fingernails flake and chip and the fingers attached become brittle and thin.
My muscles ache and brain is clouded over, A fog in my head that refuses to clear.
Every step is exhausting, every thought is overwhelming.
My gut twists in pain as I again refuse to nourish it.
My vision is foggy.
My head is in agony.
My emotions are unruly
All my friends have seemed to abandon me.
My reflection is no longer my own.
Everything is spinning, it hurts so much, I cant stop crying, I hate myself more than anything…..

But at least I’ll be skinny