#annoying customers
Coffee Shop or Daycare
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“Yes, we can ship your order to your house.”
“Is the shipping free?”
“No, there is a shipping fee, which is determined based on purchase amount. Since your order is under $40, shipping will be $5.99.”
“YOU DON’T SHIP FOR FREE?!”
“N… no… it’ll be $5.99 to ship your order.”
“But LL Bean and Amazon Prime ship for free! Why don’t you ship for free?!”
“Because we don’t.” We don’t build shipping costs into the costs of our products, nor do we charge you a monthly fee so you can get free shipping… in all these situations, you’re still paying for shipping. It’s just a matter of how you’re paying for that shipping…
“Well, how can I get you to ship this for free? Don’t you have a first time customer waiver or something?“
“Are you a first time customer?”
“No.”
“Then no. No, there’s nothing I can do. You’ll have to pay the $5.99 to ship this to your home on the other side of the country.
Customer walks up to my register holding a white napkin. She abruptly starts in, “Hi. I bought these jeans here a few months ago, and look!” She begins vigorously rubbing the napkin on the dark wash jeans she’s wearing, lifts the napkin and shows me that some of the dye has worn off onto the napkin. “IT’S BLUE!”
“Yes, I see that.”
“The dye is rubbing right off!”
“It does appear to be doing so.”
“I’ve washed these jeans several times since I bought them and they’re STILL rubbing color off onto things!”
“That particular brand did come with labels warning that the dye is very highly pigmented (as they are a high quality name brand) and that the dye may continue to transfer with initial washes.”
“This pair didn’t have that tag whenI bought them.”
“Are you looking to return the jeans?”
“Iruined my friend’s white couch because I wore these jeans when I went to her house! I was SO embarrassed! I was mortified!”
“Ma’am, are you looking to return the jeans? Do you want a new pair? Do you want a credit?”
“I washed them several times since I bought them and they’re still rubbing color off on everything! My LEGSareblueevery time I take them off! I would have expected this from cheap Target jeans but not from here. Not for how much I paid for these jeans.”
“Ma’am,what do you want me to do about this?”
…apparently nothing. Apparently she just wanted to complain about how the jeans were still turning everything blue… complain in front of eight other customers who were waiting in line to ring up their purchases.
This guy comes into my store and does this all the time. Never buys anything, just plays an extended game of Telephone with gift cards. My co-workers theorize that he’s using the receipts to commit tax fraud, but we’re not 100% sure. Would anyone reading this have any clue? Have you guys ever encountered something like this, and is it for felonious reasons or not?
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Asking for us to make you a cup of french press coffee doesn’t do anything but keep us from getting actual work done, since we have to stop what we’re doing and hold up the line just for you. I’ve never made a press for anyone that asked me to. I’ve always done exactly what the comic shows, and no one has ever noticed. Proof that it tastes exactly the same as any other cup of coffee.
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This scenario happened to the only one of my co-workers that knows about this comic, and they told me about it so I could use it for a strip. So this is the first one I didn’t actually write myself. My first guest writer!
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It’s funny. I get berated for doing nothing by customers every day. Yet when it happens to other customers, I feel bad for them.
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Hell, if you’re that concerned about contact with germs, you shouldn’t even be outside. Or use the toilet.
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Similar to last week’s strip, I generally don’t like doing jokes that reference something, because it requires prior knowledge of the subject to understand fully. So if you’re unfamiliar with the subject, the joke may not be as funny.
On the other hand, I’m of the opinion that if you have an idea you think is good, you should do it anyway because you think it’s good. You shouldn’t keep good ideas bottled inside because, as a friend of mine once said, “that’s how you get the cancer.”
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This was actually a pretty important event for me. When she finally left I was fuming to myself like every barista does after an encounter with an irate customer, thinking about all the pent-up frustration this job give me, when I was struck with this brainwave: let it out in a comic. The next day created this blog and drew the very first strip.
But seriously, fuck you if you get extra caramel. It barely adds any flavor to the drink.
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Would you go to your hair dressers and expect them to style your hair to make you look 2 years old again? No? That’s impossible you say? .. I agree….. THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YA’LL ASKING FOR PUPPY CUTS ON 5 YEAR OLD DOGS!
