#stupid questions
One of my favorite quotes and the quote I use for non-business email signatures and the quote found on my unlock screen. Telling people I’ll kill them if they ask me something stupid is my dream (plus it stops a lot of nonsense questions).
“Yes, we can ship your order to your house.”
“Is the shipping free?”
“No, there is a shipping fee, which is determined based on purchase amount. Since your order is under $40, shipping will be $5.99.”
“YOU DON’T SHIP FOR FREE?!”
“N… no… it’ll be $5.99 to ship your order.”
“But LL Bean and Amazon Prime ship for free! Why don’t you ship for free?!”
“Because we don’t.” We don’t build shipping costs into the costs of our products, nor do we charge you a monthly fee so you can get free shipping… in all these situations, you’re still paying for shipping. It’s just a matter of how you’re paying for that shipping…
“Well, how can I get you to ship this for free? Don’t you have a first time customer waiver or something?“
“Are you a first time customer?”
“No.”
“Then no. No, there’s nothing I can do. You’ll have to pay the $5.99 to ship this to your home on the other side of the country.
The guy actually asked if I thought that was funny about three times while I was taking his friend’s order. Like I just didn’t hear him, rather than pretending to not have.
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