Sitch where fancy-dressed Selina tries to seduce Bruce Wayne for burgling reasons. But then she’s like either a) wait I know those lips or b) gets way further then she originally intended without realising at all huehuehuehue
Or bonus, c) when she gets up close she knows those eyes, but can’t figure out why this guy she’s determined to dislike keeps captivating her in his gaze…… Or why she can’t herself look away…..
Or bonus bonus, Bruce randomly has stray cats now because he noticed she left some behind and they keep brushing her legs because they know her so she comments on them, and he says they’re strays
Can’t stop thinking about Battinson. Never in my life have I understood the “poor little meow meow” thing until I saw this man rock up to breakfast in a massive t-shirt and sweatpants, eat a single blueberry because Alfred told him to, and then put on sunglasses indoors because it was too bright. He tried to wingsuit down from GCPD headquarters, got his parachute caught, hit a bus and a parked car, tumbled through the street, then just stood up and ran away. This man looked like he was on the verge of crying out of sheer awkwardness every time he had to be Bruce Wayne and he still didn’t look clean.
He’s a dirty, greasy, disgusting little gremlin man and it shows and I love him
Let me explain. I watched The Batman and was like - what if Hunter…? You know? What if Hunter just like absorbed Battinson persona?
And then the promo dropped and Hunter had these cute socks. So now my headcanon is Hunter collets socks. The more colorful, the better. He hoards them! You can pray that idea out of my cold dead hands.
Anyway, this monstrosity was born out of that. Hope you like it
I have an art blog, just so you know. But this seemed to fit here.
Battinson really does make certain Old People things about Batman lore make sense about a Batman Of The 20s. For example, Dick’s origin. I fully believe that this particular Batman, instructed to go out and have some fun, like a human person might have, with no instructions more specific than that, would answer the question “what is fun, to a person?” by googling “circus near me”
“Alfred told me to go have some fun so I went to see great clown pagliacci and, as you can imagine, there was a murder and, understandably, I now have a child”
the only thing you need to know about the batman movie is that this bruce is dumb enough, emo enough, and guilty enough to adopt an acrobatic orphan and think it’s absolutely the right decision
oh I love the idea that Pattinson’s Bruce Wayne is not just a big celebrity but genuinely Gotham City’s little sweetheart. obviously everybody felt sorry for him when he violently lost his parents, the Riddler even complains about it, but they also watched him grow into a good looking yet silent and awkward guy who doesn’t even want to make money apparently and can’t maintain eye contact on the rare occasions he’s seen outside of his house… the giant majority of people must be completely soft for him
see previous policeman-at-funeral post because YES
Battinson meeting Superman, because if anyone needs a sunshine alien it’s him.
—
Bruce, in full Batman mode, tracks Superman down and eventually finds him on a rooftop in Metropolis. He grapples up, perches himself on an A/C unit, and stares.
Clark, new to the Superman thing, just trying to enjoy a burger and fries after helping with a house fire: Um. Hi?
Bruce:
Clark: I’ve noticed you following me? You’re from Gotham. The Batman.
Bruce: *shines a flashlight at Clark’s food*
Clark: Yeah. It’s a cheeseburger and curly fries. Did you want some or…? Do you need help? Seems like you maybe need some help.
Bruce: *shines the light in Clark’s eyes*
Clark: Do you want to, um, talk or something?
Bruce:what are you
Clark: I’m Superman! :)
Bruce:alien?
Clark: How did you—
Bruce:I am a bat.
Clark: O-kay. So do you want to be friends or…?
Bruce:…
Clark: :)
Bruce: *launches himself off the side of the building*
—
Alfred: Good morning Bruce, how was patrol?
Bruce, rewatching the conversation with Clark on his computer:i think i made a friend today Alfred
Can’t stop thinking about Battinson. Never in my life have I understood the “poor little meow meow” thing until I saw this man rock up to breakfast in a massive t-shirt and sweatpants, eat a single blueberry because Alfred told him to, and then put on sunglasses indoors because it was too bright. He tried to wingsuit down from GCPD headquarters, got his parachute caught, hit a bus and a parked car, tumbled through the street, then just stood up and ran away. This man looked like he was on the verge of crying out of sheer awkwardness every time he had to be Bruce Wayne and he still didn’t look clean.
He’s a dirty, greasy, disgusting little gremlin man and it shows and I love him
