I still find it Amazing how much that little cage changes a man’s thinking! ❤
Gals…here’s another explanation…of why denial works wonders for our marriages…men probably have a …one track mind…denial helps focus their …thoughts…Denial works !….caged…or not…
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So true! Chastity shifts your focus to your key holder and owner. Since it keeps you horny and desperate, you stay eager to pleasure her. All female Dommes should keep their slaves locked in chastity. A locked and denied slave is a loyal, devoted, and obedient slave.
I do, and I have totally accepted the reality that I will be wearing a chastity device for the remainder of my life, possibly being let out on very rare occasions. Maybe never again. I don’t know. What I do know is that I will never again be alone with her cock. Yes, her cock. I don’t have a cock anymore.
My Goddess has never asked me to do this, but I would definitely obey if she did. I’ve done it before for past Dommes. There are few things a slave or submissive can do to more accurately showcase their inferiority to their Domme than to lick their asshole. Along with licking them clean after they urinate, it is the most humbling way to show your submission and devotion.
My Goddess knows this too, and I have accepted this as my reality. I know I don’t deserve orgasms. I don’t deserve pussy. I don’t deserve any form of sexual stimulation. I only deserve chastity and denial. My Goddess deserves all the pleasure. I’ve learned to receive my pleasure and fulfillment from her orgasms.
At this point, being denied as long as I have been, I know I cannot possible compare to the fuck the strap on gives my Goddess, and she deserves the best fuck possible. She deserves a thick cock that can fuck her for as hard and long as she desires, and I know I cannot offer her that. I know too that I don’t deserve her Goddess pussy. I only deserve chastity and denial.
Yes indeed. The chastity cage is a constant reminder that I am owned and that I no longer have a cock and balls. They belong to my Goddess. They are under her control, and I’m grateful that they are. Without her control, I would be masturbating all the time behind her back. Chastity endures I remain obedient. When I get aroused, which easily happens all the time since I don’t get orgasms anymore, my thoughts focus on my Goddess as I feel the reminder that I cannot experience and erection without her permission. She owns my manhood. Only she can decide if I can get erect and receive stimulation.
My Goddess told me to share what happens to me when I sin against her. I looked at another woman’s ass and I was justifiably thrashed last night. Honestly, I think I deserved worse, but I’m very grateful for her strong hand to train me to be obedient and behave properly. I know I can only have eyes for her. I know I must always obey her law. I love her her so much. I’m always ashamed when I sin against her. Swift, harsh corporal punishment is how I will learn to be a good slave husband.
My Goddess is requiring me to confess my sin publicly. My Goddess’s rule is that I am forbidden to check out another woman. I cannot so much as glance at another woman’s cleavage, breasts, ass, or legs. Today, here on Tumblr, a looked at a woman’s ass, and it was more than a glance. I feel ashamed for my weakness. I only want to please my Goddess through perfect obedience. She has assured me that tonight she will teach me a lesson. The rule is for each infraction I receive a minimum of 50 thrashes in addition to my daily 20. I have no doubt she will bring me to tears to punish me for my sin.
I definitely do not deserve my Goddess’s pussy, and she knows it. While I should have been abstinent waiting for my Goddess to arrive, instead I masturbated incessantly and fucked and pleasured other women. I am ashamed of this, and I know I now only deserve chastity and denial. I know Goddess will never allow me another orgasm, but this allows me to focus solely on her pleasure, which is my purpose.
The best days are days I am allowed to worship my Goddess with my mouth. It is my favorite way to bring her pleasure. I love her scent. I love her taste. I love the way her pussy feels pressed against my face and the way she feels when I slide my fingers into her tight, wet, silky slit. I love to run my tongue up and down her juicy slit and then flick my tongue over her clit before I clamp down on it and suck it good. I love rubbing my face up and down her pussy to show her my devotion and enthusiasm. I love to wear her juices. I get to enjoy her scent long after I’m done bringing her pleasure. There is nothing I enjoy more than cunnilingus. I’m so fortunate to have a Goddess to enjoys it too. I know I exist for her pleasure and I am always thrilled when she’s in need of a good pussy licking. I will always happily and eagerly oblige her desire.
How humiliating to be required to use my mouth to clean my Goddess off after she urinates. Is there anything that can be done to more clearly show that I am a slave for her use?
Water sports has always been a hard limit. The thought of being urinated on or being forced to drink urine disgusts me. I have no interest in that. This however, arouses me. Having to lick my Goddess clean would be very humiliating, and I love humiliation, and since it would only be a few drops, I think I could tolerate it.
I will lock your control collar around your neck anytime I please. You will remain passive and still while I install it.
You will show reverence for my authority by keeping your hands away from your collar at all times as a display of your happiness, contentment, and acceptance of being owned and controlled by me. Touching your collar with your hands will be considered a sign of disrespect for your owner.
If a leash is attached, never grasp or hold it with your hands either. It is an extension of the collar and is there to control you. Never attempt to interfere with it while it does it’s job.
If the collar or leash become a choking or breathing hazard, you are free to adjust them, and if needed, remove them.
You will be punished for any disrespect you cause by touching your collar or leash needlessly. An instant slap across the face can be expected for each occurrence with more severe punishment if needed to break you of the habit.
Permanent chastity is always a kinky idea at first. It’s quite interesting how people tend to have a love hate relationship with the idea. The more you think about it the sexier it gets, until the idea becomes scary. One day she’s telling him she’s thinking about locking him up forever, and that gets him all horny and wanting release. Then she lets him out and lets him cum, and it’s a great experience for both to share that level of passion.
However, as time goes on, the idea of permanent chastity becomes a more dominant idea. The spaces between unlock times get a little longer, and she teases him a little more often about it. Saying it’s permanent, and then making him wait an extra week or two. She knows exactly the effect this is having on his psyche. She is likely not yet comfortable with the idea of permanent chastity, so he gets a release eventually.
It is addicting. The more she keeps him locked, the more she wants to keep him locked. She notices the increased enthusiasm to serve her. She can feel it in his tongue as his eagerness to please her is overwhelming. She notices the increase in submissiveness, and how he is basically throwing himself at her feet. She notices how much his willingness to use his tongue in other places such as her ass, or feet, even if at one time he may have been hesitant to lick her ass, he is now begging for it. She notices his focus on her pleasure is far greater than his focus on his own pleasure, even though she can see his desperation for release, she enjoys his redirected energy into her pleasure only.
The addiction to chastity grows in both of them, and before long, the idea becomes scary, because it’s so close to being a reality. She loves having him chaste and at her whim, and he’s certainly not complaining about it. The idea of never entering her again with his uncaged penis is terrifying yet totally erotic. It’s like the worlds best drug. An idea both can play with, and make better with simple gestures and thoughts. Tapping the key on his cage while contemplating whether or not she should unlock him. Then deciding not tonight.
She learns to grow in that power, and she loses any kind of guilt about not giving him pleasure. It empowers her. Yet it is his sacrifice that turns her on, and gives her a sense of owning him completely. He wants to serve her so much, that he is willing to let go of intercourse with her, in order to earn his place at her feet forever. That’s a level of loyalty conventional relationships could only dream of having. She has the ability to make him pussy free at any time, and that’s why the idea is scary for him. Because he doesn’t know what she thinks about it. She can tease all she likes, but what if she’s serious?
It’s a cognitive dissonance idea. He wants to sacrifice for her, but he also wants to have intercourse with her because he is so deeply in love with her. It can be difficult for both partners to give up intercourse in favor of permanent chastity, because she is going to need to find a replacement if she enjoys penetration. Either with another partner, or with toys that he can use on her. It’s a different kind of sex. It’s a major psychological shift that he is going to have to undergo and realize his penis is no longer his dominant sexual organ.
When she finally does make the decision that his penis is to be forever caged, and intercourse is indeed a thing of the past for him, it can be very emotional, on top of enhanced desperation, for the first month or two. Letting the reality sink in and absorb the new life in real time is real surrender. He will be pushed to the breaking point, because there is no other place for him to go. He must let go of a lifetime of living sexually through his penis, and let go of all aspects of his old sex life. From that point forward, he obeys her, and only her. She decides all of it.
Once that breaking point is reached, and he has had that realization, that he’s never going back to the old way, he will cry tears of acceptance. He will surrender himself to her, and to the cage. This is when permanent chastity moves from being a scary idea, to his actual reality, and he can no longer fear it, because she has decided for him that this is the way it will be. He is surrendered to her. That’s when the cage becomes his home. That’s when he feels naked without the cage on. His desperation turns into dedication. He no longer fights the cage but embraces it. And she never goes back on her word, it’s permanent, full stop. Never to be questioned. That’s the sacrifice of permanent chastity.
Understanding his orgasm is a very important aspect of an FLR, be it a D/s FLR or a Vanilla FLR. Lessons 8 and 17 both touched on this subject for a vanilla FLR, and the importance of denying him orgasm until she is ready to allow for it. This lesson is going to look deeper at his orgasm, and the different types of orgasms he is capable of. Now that we understand the battle raging within him, between his ego, and his submissive desire, mentioned in lesson 28, it’s time to understand where his arousal comes into play.
Ego driven arousal, tends to lead to a frustrated horny submissive male. Submissive desire driven arousal, tends to lead to a dedicated horny submissive male. And more often than not, he is somewhere between the two. She can use this to her advantage and help train him to her needs, using his own arousal against him. There is a practice known as orgasm denial, and it’s an extremely common practice used in a D/s relationship be it female led, or male led. Orgasm denial is a very powerful practice for enhancing the D/s aspect, and it is often the only kink many couples ever venture into, because its so powerful for both of them, that it’s all they need.
As a D/s FLR progresses, she is going to notice, that when he has an ejaculatory orgasm, he goes through a refractory period, his submissive desire drops off the map, he may not even want to be touched, his need for intimacy disappears. His passion is gone, in a conventional relationship, it’s known as being spent. This total drop in libido, desire, passion, intimacy, and submission, is considered normal and it can take him anywhere between 2 hours and a week to fully recover.
In a D/s FLR this is whats known as “sub drop” and it’s important to be aware of because the unexpected change in power dynamics directly after his ejaculation, hits suddenly, and it can cause emotional hardship. So it is important that she is aware of this refractory period that he experiences and take it into account before she allows him to have a full release ejaculation. This way she can be supportive of him, without being dominant, she can still be his leader, but the domination factor has to cool off temporarily because he won’t respond well to it.
The longer she decides to keep him denied between full releases, the stronger his ejaculations will be, each release will be mind blowing for him. However, more often than not, the stronger his orgasm, the stronger the refractory period. He may notice, that on top of his libido and submission dropping away, he actually feels down, maybe even slightly depressed, empty, drained, as if he gave up something.
All of his sexual feelings will have disappeared, and the state of being remaining without libido, feels dull and boring. This is why so many submissive males, fall in love with being denied orgasm, because as long as he is denied, he never has to experience that. He discovers, over time, that denial and being horny, is a preferred state of being. He typically will not be able stay in that state, due to weak will power, without her, and he knows it, creating a deep need for her.
She can work with this to cater to her own needs, and use his submissive desire through this and he will fall more and more in love with her as a result. Full release orgasms are extremely pleasurable for him, and he will always crave one, while also wishing to be denied one. This is the classic tug of war between his frustrated ego driven libido, and his dedicated submissive desire. This enables her to offer the possibility of a full release, perhaps if he is good. It can be a lot of fun to play with this in a variety of ways through D/s.
If she doesn’t feel like giving him a full release, but still wants to play with him, and tease him, and make him more frustrated there are other kinds of orgasms she may give him. She understands, that by teasing him, and bringing him to extreme arousal, his submissive desire increases exponentially as does her power. So teasing him can be incredibly arousing for her as well, not to mention fun.
She may decide to tie his hands to the bed, and simply be sensual with him, and bring him to the edge of orgasm. She will learn a lot of things about him while doing this, including discovering that communication is more non-verbal than it is verbal. She will begin to discover the signs his body makes, when he is getting close to the edge. It can take a bit of practice to notice the subtle signs, such as, his abs tensing, or his breathing quickening, his toes may curl, his genitals will darken… Individual signs for each male.
As she gets to know these signs, she will develop intuition on when to stop stimulating him. She can do this for as long as she likes and drive him wild in horny frustration/pleasure. If chastity play is involved, she may decide to re-lock him without any release at all, making for a very submissive frustrated male.
If she does decide to give him a release, she can give him what’s known as a ruined orgasm. A ruined orgasm is one where she monitors his body very carefully, and allows him to go over the point of no return. The point of no return is when ejaculation is going to happen, and there’s nothing that can stop it. She can communicate with her submissive and have him tell her when he is getting close to this point. From there, she must read the signs, and instead of stimulating him over the edge, she brings him right to the edge, and then stimulates him just enough, to tip him over it.
If done correctly, there may be a few seconds delay, and then his semen will begin to dribble out, giving him a ruined orgasm. A ruined orgasm is much less pleasurable than a full release one. He will still feel it, but it will be more of a tease, like he’s about to have an orgasm, but he just can’t quite make it happen.
Afterward, he will feel less pressure, he will feel a little bit of sexual release, but his general horny and submissive desires will remain intact. The refractory period is significantly reduced if not eliminated entirely, and he will still have ejaculated, keeping the D/s aspect fully intact. This is often the preferred method of orgasm for him in an FLR, as he still get a tremendous amount of pleasure from it, and she has a lot of fun, it’s very intimate.
He is capable of another kind of orgasm, but it requires a slightly more open minded or kinky D/s couple. All men have a prostate. The prostate is stimulated through anal play. For the more adventurous D/s FLR couple, anal play will likely become a normal experience. Using toys such as a butt plug on a submissive male, can greatly increase his submissive desire and sexual arousal.
Since there is something penetrating him, he feels vulnerable, and vulnerability is always arousing to a submissive. The feeling of being violated with every step, or the fullness feeling it brings him, humbles him. Butt plugs can often be used as a way of pleasurable punishment. She may decide to make him sleep with one in, or go to work with one, and there can be various sizes from comfortable to uncomfortable, giving her options. A butt plug or a strap on can both be used to stimulate the prostate.
If he relaxes enough, he can experience a prostate orgasm through anal stimulation. There are three different types of orgasms associated with stimulating the prostate. One of these orgasms, is commonly called the super-O, because it causes an ejaculatory orgasm with a far greater amount of semen than usual, since it drains the prostate entirely. This type of orgasm will drain him completely, and sometimes the refractory period from this orgasm, is lesser than a regular full release, because his prostate often radiates pleasure through his entire body, leaving him with a body high.
A super-O is typically done with penis stimulation after his prostate has been stimulated into pleasurable sensations. It can take a while for the prostate to feel pleasurable from stimulation, typically he needs to relax and let it happen, putting him into a very submissive state. His erection will disappear for a while, but once the prostate pleasure starts it will come back. If both are stimulated when it does come back, the climax can deliver out of this world shattering orgasms. I would imagine he would have to be a very good submissive for her to give him one of these.
The second type of prostate orgasm, is a dry one. These orgasms can also be very intense, but since there is no penis stimulation at all, there is no refractory period, and no semen. These orgasms typically come from the acceptance, and being humbled by, being taken with a strap on. Accepting the power exchange, and surrendering completely to being taken by her. This can often become the new sex for him, and he can begin to crave dry prostate orgasms as a replacement for a regular full release, especially when a full release is rare. She may decide to take him this way at any time, and since he is kept in a submissive state fueled by his own arousal, he will be quite happy to submit to her for this, even if it makes him feel vulnerable, the D/s dynamics here can be played with to a variety of degrees. In one degree, it could be a way of feminizing him, in another degree, she could simply become a strict mistress. It all depends on her style as mentioned in previous lessons.
The third type of prostate orgasm, is what’s known on the internet, as a sissygasm. This type of orgasm requires direct anal stimulation of the prostate, repetitively, with no stimulation of the penis whatsoever, until the prostate releases its fluids and he ejaculates hands free. Often, this is done with him wearing a chastity device the entire time, keeping him in a submissive state all the way through it, even if he drops his libido for a while, his submissive desire, is more powerful than his ego, and he remains submissive even without libido. This is typically for more advanced D/s FLRs, and many never need to go this far. But it can be comforting for her to know, that as the relationship progresses, there are different kinds of orgasms she can give him, that suit their relationship, and her style.
Lastly, there is a way to make him ejaculate without an orgasm at all. This is known as milking. If she wishes to deny him for extended periods of time, without giving him any orgasmic release whatsoever, she can still keep him healthy through milking him. This will drain his sexual fluids, taking a bit of the pressure off, but there will be no refractory period, and his submission and libido will remain fully intact. To milk him, the prostate must be stimulated in a very specific way, and the first time can take a little while, but it will get easier with him, especially if his prostate is full. She can use a finger, or a smaller device, to gently apply pressure on the prostate, and ignore his penis. Since there is little friction, and only gentle pressure, there is no pleasure, it may in fact be uncomfortable, and he will feel like he needs to pee. Soon, fluid will begin to drip out of his flaccid penis and she can continue this until he is dry. There should be no pain, and no pleasure, just a light discomfort sensation of being drained. Then his denial continues.
Orgasm control, and orgasm denial, can be a huge aspect of a D/s FLR. The amount of power it gives her, the level of submission it takes him, can be an incredible aspect between them. Determining what he gets, when he gets it, and having fun with it in the process is what makes an FLR so much fun and intimate. It can often be the only kink necessary, there often isn’t a need for anything beyond it, because it can be that fulfilling and exciting for both partners. Especially when his orgasm is entirely based on the quality of orgasms he gives her. It makes for a dedicated submissive to her pleasure.
In the end, her pleasure will be the focus, and she can bring him so deep into submission, that he will actually be able to feel her orgasms, through his body. She orgasms for the both of them. Known as a tantric orgasm, the ultimate orgasm of an FLR. The D/s dynamics can get that interesting!
