#biromantic ace
Happy pride to yall!!!
And happy pride to me and Elijah! We’re both biromantic aces :D
This post is a submission to RFAS’s intersectional ace survivor stories series. You can learn more about the series here.
This post is a submission by an author who prefers to remain anonymous. Please respect their privacy and do not speculate about their identity.
Trigger warnings: discussion of abusive relationships, mental illness, victim blaming
I am a biromantic asexual. I suffered an incredibly abusive relationship all through out my childhood. I have been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety and depression. For years I have been told that these things are directly related, both by mental health professionals and by those close to me. Before learning about asexuality, I really thought that my history of abuse and mental illness had cut me off from ‘normal’ sexual/romantic relationships.
It took a long time and a lot of courage to accept that was not the case, and to convince myself that these aspects of my identity are not causes and repercussions of each other.
I am an abuse survivor because I let an awful girl destroy every aspect of who I was before I knew her. She cut me off from everyone else in my life. She took away everything I loved by telling me they were worthless passions if she did not share them. She triggered my anxiety and paranoia, and she took my happiness. My abuser took everything from me, but she did not take my ability to be attracted to people. I was asexual before her, and I am still asexual now that she is gone from my life.
To all those aces who are told their mental illness or abusive past ‘broke’ them: it didn’t. Your asexuality is not a side effect of your personal history, it is an intrinsic part of it. Your sexuality was not stolen from you, it is still a part of your identity even if those around you cannot acknowledge or understand it. For years I have been told that I am broken, but that I can be fixed. I know now that even if I leave behind my mental illnesses and my history of abuse, I will still be asexual. That part of me is not broken, no matter what anyone else says.
biroace flag picked from ryoma hoshi!
requested by: anonymous
