#birthing

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Spiritual birth! Written by Maisey. A fictional depiction of my 4th birth based off things I enjoy about childbirth

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I hesitate to use the word “pain” in connection with birth, as I feel that it is a matter of how one accepts the sensations. What I was feeling could easily have been felt as “pain” by someone else. But because I knew that it was part of my body’s actions to get the baby born, and was therefore purposeful, it all seemed intense rather than painful. It took a bit of time to integrate this, as all my previous births were effortless. This was far from that, so it took me by surprise. I did do a bit of thinking now and then about how different this was, but tried not to focus on it. I knew that it was its own experience, unlike any other; comparing it to another would detract from what I was doing in that moment.

While kneeling there in the makeshift birthing nest (next to the fold out futon bed) I had prepared earlier, I began to feel a different force moving through me. I was feeling it on a physical level, but also envisioning the baby being pressed downward. What I was “seeing” was a cross-section of my birth canal, and a line drawing of the baby’s head moving down towards my vaginal opening, much like a progress bar of sorts. A bit strange; though it was an odd way to see it, it felt like very spiritual and connect to the sensations going on down between my nethers. This felt even more intense and I had to deliberately relax my back, letting the energy flow down and out to get through each expansion without fighting it. Knowing, from the vision, that the baby was descending gave me an added incentive to let it flow through me more easily.

A little after this, I decided to try out my birth nest since I hadn’t spent any time there at all. I remember thinking to myself that it felt way too soon to be in there, but that I could try it out for a little while and then go somewhere else. Once again, I noted the time–it was 6:35. I kneeled next to the nest and leaned against the bed.

The expansions were very strong, and I felt a strong need to clutch at the comforter, though I knew that having that much tension in my hands might not be a good idea. I felt as if I might be blown away by my body into another dimension if I didn’t. I also (on a more rational level) remembered that I had a lot of tension in my hands during Emma’s birth (my third baby, when I was holding on to the changing table), and this didn’t adversely affect the birth. But, I didn’t fight my body during her birth. This time, I undoubtedly did (much as I hate to admit it) to some extent. He says that there was no outward sign of this, but I did have a number of thoughts along the lines of: “This isn’t what my other births were like. This isn’t what I expected.” Not once did it cross my mind that there was something wrong with what was happening. I knew fully that all was well, but it was disconcerting.

During some of the expansions, I felt my breath go a bit shuddery, as it does when my body begins to push. My body felt as if it were being taken over and driven by an outside force.

While leaning against the bed, I began feeling immense pressure, and then a distinct pop deep inside me (the amniotic sac popping as his head pressed against/through it). I felt my whole body shuddering with the power of my baby’s descent. I wanted to feel my vagina to see if the baby was crowning, but was scared to because I thought that if I didn’t feel a head, I would not know what to do (not rational, as obviously, I wouldn’t do anything but wait). Also, the sensations were so overwhelming that I didn’t even feel capable of putting my hands near there, thinking that it would intensify what I was feeling. It seemed better to disengage a bit and let my body do what it needed to without interference.

I began feeling a need to push with the surges. They no longer felt like expansions, but one continuous downward force of pure, soul-splitting, Earth-shaking Power. I held back pushing a bit, as the pressure intensified when I pushed, but it then became impossible not to. As I was still right next to the bed leaning, facing on it with my weight. My body was forced into hands and knees, and I began pushing more, even though it frightened me a bit to feel this Immensity. I had a strong need to hold something for leverage, but I didn’t have anything, so I grabbed the sheets (highly unsatisfying when one wants leverage!). I could feel his head passing through my cervix, one millimeter at a time. Soon with a few more pushes his shoulders were sliding through my cervix. My body and soul felt as if they were being turned inside out, pulled downwards, pulled apart, shaken and taken to another place. I felt like I was envisioning it all in third person. How overwhelming, how wonderful, how frightening, how perfect!

I had begun vocalizing and heard (through the roar in my head and body) This lightened my spiritual load a bit, and made it easier to get out of the way of my body. Since it was clearly inevitable that the baby would emerge sooner or later, and tensing up against it wasn’t going to help, I was able to get fully upright and into a deep squat, no longer leaned on the bed. It felt like the right thing to do so I did.

Once I was all of the way upright in a squatting position, his head came down further, though I couldn’t feel it at first when I touched my vagina (thinking, “Surely I must be crowning now!”). But I wasn’t crowning just yet. A few more pushes later it came down a bit more and I could feel a little of that wonderful, wrinkly scalp. Slowly, slowly, it began emerging.

It felt such a tight squeeze (and what a surprise that was. It was pretty intense now!) that I began massaging my vagina all around, not really stretching my lips out but more like trying to push them past or around the head. The day before, I had read about one mom’s recount of her birth– in which she had a pretty hefty sized baby and to aid her crowning she pulled her vulva aside so forcefully that she tore herself a little.

I remembered this while birthing, and decided not to do the same so I wouldn’t suffer such injuries myself, though enticing as it was! I was saying to the baby, “Come on now baby”, “It’s OK”, “Come on out”, and, “Big head!” The head slipped a little further outside of my lips, and I said with joy, “Baby’s helping!” At one point, everything stopped, and I was stuck there in an endless moment with this enormous head stretching me. I still had my hand on my vagina and I tried to look down to see, but couldn’t see over my belly. Another push and more pressing down by my body, then that wild burn of a full crown. I bore down once more and kept saying, “Come on”, and “Giving birth”. More pressing down by my body, then that beautiful release as his head emerged fully, all the way out of me. Oh, what a lovely feeling–his warm wet head in my very hands! I exclaimed with a quiet breath, ”Oh it’s out, it’s out. The head is finally out".

Slowly the shoulders came through on the next push and another birthed the rest of the torso, with a warm flood of fluid, right into my hands. As I was sitting back against the bed, I felt something soft next to his bottom, and thought, “Oh, it’s a penis. I had a boy!“ Through most of my pregnancy, I had felt strongly, nay, known completely, that this was a girl. Despite this, all I felt was complete and total satisfaction. I was utterly thrilled to have my little boy in my arms. (That morning, I had the quiet realization, “This is a boy,” so it wasn’t as much of a surprise as it might have been.) He began crying immediately, and was a bit purple but turned pink not shortly with time.

A couple of minutes later, I felt warm fluid (that I presumed to be blood) flow out. I said, “I have to have the placenta now,” and got onto my knees to give a little push. The placenta came right out in a splash of blood. It was not painful or difficult but I did have to pull a bit on the cord to help get the placenta out. (Interesting note about his placenta; it was slightly bigger than the others I had birthed and was more puffed up.

After having four kids prior to this one I knew instinctively, a crying baby automatically means, “Offer breast!” He finally quieted down and latched on. He did well and nursed for a bit. My partner said that the baby looked bigger than the others, and I said, “His head sure felt like it.” I could not believe I had such a big baby. It was quite surreal.

That night was pretty uneventful–a few meconium diapers to change, beautiful baby to smell, cuddle, stare at, and ooh over. He was very content, not crying, and spent time quietly looking around. By a day or so later, he had discovered the joys of nursing and is now extremely good at getting on the boob. He can even do it in the dark on his own.

The next day we weighed and measured him, for the sole purpose of showing that I do indeed produce only 6 to 7 pound babies (all three of the others were that weighed, were between 18 and 20 inches long, and had roughly 12 ½ inch heads). Well, I broke my track record. Baby weighs 9 pounds, 5 ounces and is 20 ¼ inches long, and has a 14 ½ inch head.

Perhaps there was a reason that his emergence was on a different level of intensity than his siblings had been! It explains why his face was a bit puffy when he was born and why he was a bit purple right after birth, yet he had no head molding (he came down so fast!). It also explains why my tail bone was sore and felt out of place. My partner said, “You got out of his way.” Glad I am to have done it!

My body fared very well, considering how shaken apart I felt when birthing. My vagina had no damage at all. Though the whole area felt a bit swollen, it was a little visible but there was no stinging when I peed. It did feel a little numb for a couple of days, and I had to be careful to hold myself together there when I coughed (which I did a lot, since I was sick) or a bit of pee would come out–another new experience for me! (I guess that’s what big babies do to you!)

I had afterpains that were more intense than my last child, and lasted for three days. Motherwort and Motrin once again helped out. I bled more than after Emma’s birth, but it was still pretty minimal. It was like a medium flow period that lasted for about four days, then began lessening. My milk came in the same night as my birth. My breasts were quite engorged in the following days. Cabbage leaves didn’t help quite as much this time, so I encouraged a more than willing Emma to nurse a lot, which helped lessen the swelling and discomfort.

I feel so blessed to have this big little person in my life. Although it hurts and sometimes is overwhelming, I’d do it again in a heartbeat. It’s incredible giving birth and each one is so distinctly different.

Melina was 19 when she got impregnated by her ex-boyfriend, but he left her, once she told him. She lives alone with her dad in an apartment outside the town and she really liked it there.

She had black hair, in a bob cut and blue eyes. Her DD-Cup breasts were sitting perfectly inside her bras and her 8 days overdue pregnant belly made all her clothes look too tight. Ignoring the fact, she had slim hips; she wanted to have an all-natural birth at home.

It all started one month ago, when her Dad lost his driving license and asked her to drive him to work, even now, while she was overdue.

It was on a Thursday at the end of September, when Melina felt some cramps running through her body. She was now 9 days overdue and she really managed to ignore them until the early evening. She was sitting in her room, breathing through them. They were coming every 12 minutes, lasting 30 seconds.

Melina walked around in her room, rubbing her huge belly and breathed with each new pain. Eventually she walked to the kitchen to grab some snacks and some water. Her Dad was in his office, preparing things for the other day.

Around 9 PM Melina was breathing through another pain as her Dad knocked and entered the room, only to find her in pain.

“Dad, I’m in labor!”, she said, as the contraction ended.

He moved her to the bed, pulled down her pants and pushed fingers inside her, without any warnings.

“You’re only at 3 cm, you will have enough time!”

He run his fingers over Melina’s sensitive clitoris and patted her huge belly.

“Now go to bed, we have to leave at 7 AM and tomorrow will be a long day. Good night!”

Without another word, he left the room and went to bed. Tomorrow was Friday and on Friday he usually had tons of meetings. Melina pulled her pants up again and really tried to sleep, which was pretty hard, with contractions hitting every 12 minutes, but somehow she really fell asleep.

Melina woke up around 5 AM with stronger contractions, lasting 45 seconds now and was followed by another one 7 minutes later. She got up, dressed herself in a green knee-long pullover, heavily stretched over the huge belly and some leggings underneath it. While making breakfast she needed to stop every 7 minutes to breath. Once her Dad arrived around 6:15 AM, he found her breathing and holding the belly while supporting on the table.

“So, how’s it going?”

Melina looked at him and answered as the pain faded away.

“Around 7 minutes apart…”

“Good!”

He sat down and ate breakfast, Melina tried to do the same. She felt some pressure building up, knowing it was the baby ramming against the cervix. While Melina cleared the table, she felt a little change in her belly and leaned against the counter to breathe. As soon as the contraction ended, she felt fluids running down her legs and looked at her father, who was a little bit shocked as well. With the next contraction, only 5 minutes away, she groaned at the sudden intensity.

“This one was much stronger than before!”

Her dad was already in his room to grab his stuff and came back, ready to leave. Without warning, he lifted her to the kitchen counter, pulled her leggings and panties down, only to push finger inside her again.

“Hmm, you’re dilating as slow as your mother did, you’re at 6 cm. How long since your labor started?”

Melina thought for a second before answering.

“18 hours… I think…”

He pulled Melina down and she pulled her pants back up as another sharp contraction struck her. They were sharper now after the water broke. Once it was over, he grabbed something like a leather belt and fixed it around her hips and even one part went down between her legs. The clock showed 6:55 AM.

“Come on, let’s go!”

Melina finally noticed what her dad fixed around her hips and looked at him in shock.

“Dad, wait! You can’t fix a chastity belt around my hips! Take it off, please!”

“NO! I have a few important meetings going on today and I can’t have you delivering this baby now. Keep it inside until everything is done!”

After the next contraction, she really followed her dad to the elevator and waited until it arrived. Once they were inside, it descended for 8 floors including 2 for the basement and the garage.

Melina growled as she opened the door and sat behind the steer wheel. Breathing for another minute, she started the car and drove out of the garage.

Each time a contraction hit, Melina grabbed the steering wheel as hard as she could and breathed.

45 Minutes later they arrived at her Dad’s workplace and after another pain she got out of the car, following him inside. Inside the elevator Melina leaned against the wall to deal with another contraction.

Before he entered the conference room he ordered her to sit down on one of the chairs and don’t walk around. Melina obeyed and sat down, feeling the leather chastity belt pushing against her crotch.

Melina was now in labor since 19 hours and in active labor since 1:30 hours.

Time passed, 1 hour, 2 hours, 3 hours. Melina tried her best to stay quiet and paced around in front of the conference room to deal with the pain and the growing pressure. They got closer again and were now around 3 minutes apart.

“Ah, here you are! We’re done here, let’s go!”

Melina looked up as she heard a voice behind her and before she even could say a word; her Dad dragged her to the elevators.

“The next one is in 30 minutes at Nendo Company; it should be a short one!”

He explained as she breathed through another pain, while getting to their car. Once sitting in the car, Melina grabbed the steering wheel hard each time and drove to Nendo Company. After driving into the carpark and finding a parking spot, Dad left the car and gave her orders again.

“You stay here, it shouldn’t take long!”

She nod and he left after closing the car door.

Melina leaned back, rubbing her huge contracting belly until another contraction hit her, harder, longer and stronger than before. She grabbed the steering wheel until her knuckles went white and breathed. 30 Seconds after it ended, the next one started right away. Transition, Melina thought. She tried moving her hips on the seat and began panting. The baby inside her pushed hard against the cervix, but she tried to blow the pain away without much success. Everything inside her was pressing down and she groaned as she felt her birth canal got stretched painfully. The contractions were overlapping from time to time but mostly they were 90 seconds long with a little 30 seconds break.

It was exactly 2 PM when her Dad opened the door and got into the car, only to find her panting.

“What’s wrong?”

“The baby’s coming… have to push!”

“Good, that’s perfect! So let’s drive home, so you can deliver your baby!”

He patted her belly and rubbed over it, knowing the baby would be a big one.

“Ah, but first, you should drive to Ronaldo. We don’t have Champagne to celebrate the arrival of my grandchild!”

Melina growled before she really started the car, drove out of the car park and took the road to Ronaldo. She was now in labor since 25 hours.

“OOOOOWWWWW…”

The pressure inside Melina grew and her body almost ordered her to push as the baby slowly moved down against her will.

2:20 PM, Melina stopped in front of Ronaldo and Dad disappeared inside of the shop. Every cell in her body wanted to spread her legs and push, but she couldn’t. Even as she resisted the urge, she felt the baby moving down in her birth canal slightly, making her vagina slowly bulging out.

Melina tried again to move her hips in circles while the pressure grew close to unbearable. She leaned back, grabbed the steering wheel really hard and pushed, making the bulge of her vagina even bigger and bigger. The pressure was immense and her belly was rock hard. She could feel her leggings tightening a bit around her hips as the bulge in her crotch slowly grew.

Completely forgetting about the Chastity belt, Melina continued pushing as the time passed once again.

Around 4 PM the door was teared open and her Dad got into the car.

“We can drive home, I have everything we need. So how’s the progress Darling?”

Melina knew he was drunk. He probably met the Boss of Ronaldo and instead of buying they started chatting and testing different champagnes and wines. She knew, if she wouldn’t answer or do as he says, she had to endure this longer.

“It’s… crowning…”

It took a while before Melina was mentally ready to drive a car again, so that she didn’t notice her Dad getting impatient. He reached over to her and grabbed her left breast, pulling her over to him and talked straight into her face. She moaned involuntary and her blue eyes shot open.

“If we aren’t at home before 5:30 PM so I can watch my favorite series, you will wear the belt the whole night!”

Melina’s eyes went wide before another painful contraction hit her. Once she caught her breath, she started the car again and drove home. Luckily the streets were free and she could drive without much stopping. During each new pain, she grabbed the steering wheel hard until her knuckles went wide, held her breath and tried to ignore the unbearable urge to push.

Thanks to some problems with some red lights, they arrived at home around 5:45 PM but it wasn’t her fault. While Melina breathed through another contraction, trying not really to push again, her Dad got out of the car, opened her door and pulled her out of the car. Her knees almost gave out as the sudden down pressure drastically intensified. She sobbed as she felt the baby moving downwards even without a contraction and without pushing. She could feel the baby’s head slowly sliding down, stretching and opening her with every step she was forced to take. The big head was still slowly crowning and the pressure continued to grow. It really took some effort for Melina to walk inside and get inside the elevator. Another contraction, another push, another painful groan.

It was 6 PM, when her Dad opened the door, tossed his things to the floor and run to the television. Melina was leaning against the front door to breath, as she heard her Dad calling for her.

“Melina! Get my things in my room and get over here!”

Melina answered with a short “Yes!” grabbed the things and slowly waddled to the bedroom where she placed everything on the bed and the desk. The large baby moved down more and more, opening her lips more, allowing to do more crowning but the belt held it in place. After some more pushing, Melina figured it was useless to continue pushing. The head was hold back by the belt now.

With small steps she waddled into the living, close to her Dad.

“What… do you want me to do… to get the belt off?”

He looked at her and smirked.

“Take off your pullover and get over here!”

She nods, taking off her pullover and walked closer to her Dad, only to be turned around and get pulled onto his lap. Melina didn’t fight back, but groaned loud with another push, while the head moved forward again.

“Ngggghhhh…”

He ignored her struggle and grabbed her breasts, only to squeeze and knead them. She moaned, throwing her head back and spread her legs intuitively to get the baby out. Eventually she moaned louder, started panting from the touch of her father, while he fondled her breasts roughly, rolled her nipples between his fingers and made some milk spray around. It really took a while until Melina was heard screaming and was cumin hard, while her body forced the baby down more, spreading her even wider, even if there was no way out. He let go of her and she sank down onto the floor, fighting the most powerful contraction she had until now. He unzipped his pants and smirked.

“Now, turn around and suck it!”

She turned around again, heavily panting and nodded, before she touched his fat member and started teasing him. After several minutes of hard sucking, touching and teasing he came inside her mouth, moaning loud. She hunched over in a kneeling position and pushed with the unbearable pressure, feeling the baby trying to crown more and more, screaming with the pain.

“AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!! Take it off, pleeeeeaaase!!”

He patted her big round belly and smiled.

“Well, since you were a good girl today, I think I can take it off. Let me get the key!”

The clock showed 7 PM and Melina was now in labor since 30 hours.

Once he came back, he heaved her onto the couch and opened the lock of the belt, taking it off slowly followed by her leggings and the panties. The bulge between Melina’s legs was enormous and the head seemed to be close to a full crown.

“Now, be a good daughter and deliver for Daddy!”

Melina nodded, grabbed her legs and finally pushed.

“Hnnnnnngggggghhhaaaarrrrgggghhh!!”

Her lips spread apart even more, to a size most doctors would consider impossible for such a small girl.

“Oooooooowwwwwww! It burns, it burns, it burns!”

The extreme stretching was already painful enough, but now there was this unbearable burning feeling, that started to drive her insane. She would love to squat but she knew her Dad wouldn’t allow it, so she pushed hard again, while lying on her back. After the last push, she noticed the baby moving down steadily and decided to give small brief grunts.

“Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo… Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh!”

Another agonizing push, a loud scream and the head was out. Melina fell back and lay there panting for a few minutes.

“The head is out; now breathe until it has turned around.”

Melina needed to breathe for almost 15 minutes until she could finally push again. She tucked her chin in and bore down with all she had.

“Hnnnnnnngggggggg!! Come on… baby… hnnnngggghhh!”

The shoulder opened her wide again and after some more pushing; she felt the first shoulder beginning to emerge. Another contraction, another push and the shoulder moved out more, while the second one followed soon. Both shoulders were now sitting inside her vagina and the burning returned worse than before.

“Come on baby, almost there! Hnnnnggggghhhhhh! Gaaaaaaaaaaarrrgghhhh!”

She screamed loud as both shoulders moved together through her vagina.

“Hnnnnnggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!”

After another agonizing push, the baby was born and landed between her and her Dad, followed by another gush of fluids. She fell back and panted from exhaustion.

Her Dad picked the little girl up, checked her for a moment before cutting the cord. The little girl was born at 9 PM after 32 hours of painful labor and was around 10 pounds big. 

Melina birthed the afterbirth 30 minutes later, took her daughter and started feeding her.

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daddybearandprincesspants:

We’d both like to thank everybody for being so kind and complimentary of us so far, we know it’s not a lot of people but it means a lot to us! So thank you guys and girls for all the likes and all the reblogs ^.^

Keep your eyes peeled as we’ll have plenty more to show!

Wish I could share my more sensitive birthing content here but if anyone loves birthing like me go ahead and add my snap milf_meme available there.