Spiritual birth! Written by Maisey. A fictional depiction of my 4th birth based off things I enjoy about childbirth

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I hesitate to use the word “pain” in connection with birth, as I feel that it is a matter of how one accepts the sensations. What I was feeling could easily have been felt as “pain” by someone else. But because I knew that it was part of my body’s actions to get the baby born, and was therefore purposeful, it all seemed intense rather than painful. It took a bit of time to integrate this, as all my previous births were effortless. This was far from that, so it took me by surprise. I did do a bit of thinking now and then about how different this was, but tried not to focus on it. I knew that it was its own experience, unlike any other; comparing it to another would detract from what I was doing in that moment.

While kneeling there in the makeshift birthing nest (next to the fold out futon bed) I had prepared earlier, I began to feel a different force moving through me. I was feeling it on a physical level, but also envisioning the baby being pressed downward. What I was “seeing” was a cross-section of my birth canal, and a line drawing of the baby’s head moving down towards my vaginal opening, much like a progress bar of sorts. A bit strange; though it was an odd way to see it, it felt like very spiritual and connect to the sensations going on down between my nethers. This felt even more intense and I had to deliberately relax my back, letting the energy flow down and out to get through each expansion without fighting it. Knowing, from the vision, that the baby was descending gave me an added incentive to let it flow through me more easily.

A little after this, I decided to try out my birth nest since I hadn’t spent any time there at all. I remember thinking to myself that it felt way too soon to be in there, but that I could try it out for a little while and then go somewhere else. Once again, I noted the time–it was 6:35. I kneeled next to the nest and leaned against the bed.

The expansions were very strong, and I felt a strong need to clutch at the comforter, though I knew that having that much tension in my hands might not be a good idea. I felt as if I might be blown away by my body into another dimension if I didn’t. I also (on a more rational level) remembered that I had a lot of tension in my hands during Emma’s birth (my third baby, when I was holding on to the changing table), and this didn’t adversely affect the birth. But, I didn’t fight my body during her birth. This time, I undoubtedly did (much as I hate to admit it) to some extent. He says that there was no outward sign of this, but I did have a number of thoughts along the lines of: “This isn’t what my other births were like. This isn’t what I expected.” Not once did it cross my mind that there was something wrong with what was happening. I knew fully that all was well, but it was disconcerting.

During some of the expansions, I felt my breath go a bit shuddery, as it does when my body begins to push. My body felt as if it were being taken over and driven by an outside force.

While leaning against the bed, I began feeling immense pressure, and then a distinct pop deep inside me (the amniotic sac popping as his head pressed against/through it). I felt my whole body shuddering with the power of my baby’s descent. I wanted to feel my vagina to see if the baby was crowning, but was scared to because I thought that if I didn’t feel a head, I would not know what to do (not rational, as obviously, I wouldn’t do anything but wait). Also, the sensations were so overwhelming that I didn’t even feel capable of putting my hands near there, thinking that it would intensify what I was feeling. It seemed better to disengage a bit and let my body do what it needed to without interference.

I began feeling a need to push with the surges. They no longer felt like expansions, but one continuous downward force of pure, soul-splitting, Earth-shaking Power. I held back pushing a bit, as the pressure intensified when I pushed, but it then became impossible not to. As I was still right next to the bed leaning, facing on it with my weight. My body was forced into hands and knees, and I began pushing more, even though it frightened me a bit to feel this Immensity. I had a strong need to hold something for leverage, but I didn’t have anything, so I grabbed the sheets (highly unsatisfying when one wants leverage!). I could feel his head passing through my cervix, one millimeter at a time. Soon with a few more pushes his shoulders were sliding through my cervix. My body and soul felt as if they were being turned inside out, pulled downwards, pulled apart, shaken and taken to another place. I felt like I was envisioning it all in third person. How overwhelming, how wonderful, how frightening, how perfect!

I had begun vocalizing and heard (through the roar in my head and body) This lightened my spiritual load a bit, and made it easier to get out of the way of my body. Since it was clearly inevitable that the baby would emerge sooner or later, and tensing up against it wasn’t going to help, I was able to get fully upright and into a deep squat, no longer leaned on the bed. It felt like the right thing to do so I did.

Once I was all of the way upright in a squatting position, his head came down further, though I couldn’t feel it at first when I touched my vagina (thinking, “Surely I must be crowning now!”). But I wasn’t crowning just yet. A few more pushes later it came down a bit more and I could feel a little of that wonderful, wrinkly scalp. Slowly, slowly, it began emerging.

It felt such a tight squeeze (and what a surprise that was. It was pretty intense now!) that I began massaging my vagina all around, not really stretching my lips out but more like trying to push them past or around the head. The day before, I had read about one mom’s recount of her birth– in which she had a pretty hefty sized baby and to aid her crowning she pulled her vulva aside so forcefully that she tore herself a little.

I remembered this while birthing, and decided not to do the same so I wouldn’t suffer such injuries myself, though enticing as it was! I was saying to the baby, “Come on now baby”, “It’s OK”, “Come on out”, and, “Big head!” The head slipped a little further outside of my lips, and I said with joy, “Baby’s helping!” At one point, everything stopped, and I was stuck there in an endless moment with this enormous head stretching me. I still had my hand on my vagina and I tried to look down to see, but couldn’t see over my belly. Another push and more pressing down by my body, then that wild burn of a full crown. I bore down once more and kept saying, “Come on”, and “Giving birth”. More pressing down by my body, then that beautiful release as his head emerged fully, all the way out of me. Oh, what a lovely feeling–his warm wet head in my very hands! I exclaimed with a quiet breath, ”Oh it’s out, it’s out. The head is finally out".

Slowly the shoulders came through on the next push and another birthed the rest of the torso, with a warm flood of fluid, right into my hands. As I was sitting back against the bed, I felt something soft next to his bottom, and thought, “Oh, it’s a penis. I had a boy!“ Through most of my pregnancy, I had felt strongly, nay, known completely, that this was a girl. Despite this, all I felt was complete and total satisfaction. I was utterly thrilled to have my little boy in my arms. (That morning, I had the quiet realization, “This is a boy,” so it wasn’t as much of a surprise as it might have been.) He began crying immediately, and was a bit purple but turned pink not shortly with time.

A couple of minutes later, I felt warm fluid (that I presumed to be blood) flow out. I said, “I have to have the placenta now,” and got onto my knees to give a little push. The placenta came right out in a splash of blood. It was not painful or difficult but I did have to pull a bit on the cord to help get the placenta out. (Interesting note about his placenta; it was slightly bigger than the others I had birthed and was more puffed up.

After having four kids prior to this one I knew instinctively, a crying baby automatically means, “Offer breast!” He finally quieted down and latched on. He did well and nursed for a bit. My partner said that the baby looked bigger than the others, and I said, “His head sure felt like it.” I could not believe I had such a big baby. It was quite surreal.

That night was pretty uneventful–a few meconium diapers to change, beautiful baby to smell, cuddle, stare at, and ooh over. He was very content, not crying, and spent time quietly looking around. By a day or so later, he had discovered the joys of nursing and is now extremely good at getting on the boob. He can even do it in the dark on his own.

The next day we weighed and measured him, for the sole purpose of showing that I do indeed produce only 6 to 7 pound babies (all three of the others were that weighed, were between 18 and 20 inches long, and had roughly 12 ½ inch heads). Well, I broke my track record. Baby weighs 9 pounds, 5 ounces and is 20 ¼ inches long, and has a 14 ½ inch head.

Perhaps there was a reason that his emergence was on a different level of intensity than his siblings had been! It explains why his face was a bit puffy when he was born and why he was a bit purple right after birth, yet he had no head molding (he came down so fast!). It also explains why my tail bone was sore and felt out of place. My partner said, “You got out of his way.” Glad I am to have done it!

My body fared very well, considering how shaken apart I felt when birthing. My vagina had no damage at all. Though the whole area felt a bit swollen, it was a little visible but there was no stinging when I peed. It did feel a little numb for a couple of days, and I had to be careful to hold myself together there when I coughed (which I did a lot, since I was sick) or a bit of pee would come out–another new experience for me! (I guess that’s what big babies do to you!)

I had afterpains that were more intense than my last child, and lasted for three days. Motherwort and Motrin once again helped out. I bled more than after Emma’s birth, but it was still pretty minimal. It was like a medium flow period that lasted for about four days, then began lessening. My milk came in the same night as my birth. My breasts were quite engorged in the following days. Cabbage leaves didn’t help quite as much this time, so I encouraged a more than willing Emma to nurse a lot, which helped lessen the swelling and discomfort.

I feel so blessed to have this big little person in my life. Although it hurts and sometimes is overwhelming, I’d do it again in a heartbeat. It’s incredible giving birth and each one is so distinctly different.

C-section

Since April is a C-section awareness month I thought I would share my experience. My son was born “naturally” after the world’s best pregnancy. My pregnancy with my daughter 3 years later was anything but easy. I was sick for most of it and at my 38 week appointment I got news that she was breech. Lack of breath that I thought was from her butt being in my rib cage was actually her head. I was scheduled for a version procedure the next day. I showed up and did another ultrasound and my little flipper was in the right spot! A few days later however she was breech again. I was admitted into the hospital and had 3 versions, yes 3. After the last one they actually tied bed sheets around my belly to keep her in place. I was induced, they broke my water. Labor lasted for 2 days but felt like weeks. 3 epidurals, 2 days of contractions, I was so weak and only at 9.5 centimeters. I was told that I had to wait until I was at 10 to push. Hours went by and my body was done. I was told that my daughter’s head was stuck and I would need an emergency C-section. They rolled me away and handed scrubs to my husband. I have never had surgery before, I’m not good with pain. I had chills to the point that my hands were shaking. I cried the whole time. When they allowed my husband to be by my side I made him promise to tell our son that mama loves him in case something happens. Yes I know a bit dramatic but in that moment I really thought that I might die. I didn’t see my baby first but I heard her cry. They weight her, measured her height and only then wrapped her up and handed her to my husband. He held her by my head and I finally met the little lady that’s been renting out my belly for the past 9 months. She was beautiful, our little Eleanor. My husband held her for the rest of my surgery. They rolled me into the recovery room and I was in and out for most of the night. I was in so much pain. When I would ask about the baby I was told that she’s in the nursery so that I can rest. The next day I finally held my child. I thought that if I tried to stand up my insides would just fall out of my stomach. I know how crazy that sounds but I really thought that the scar would rip. I never understood how important skin to skin was with a baby until that day. I didn’t get to have that with her and even though she was mine I didn’t feel connected. I had to have my husband be the one to pick her up and hand her to me, I felt so helpless. What kind of mother can’t pick up her own baby? She would cry and my husband would whisper sweet nothings in her ear and she would stop. To this day I know she feels safe with him, she knows his hands were the first real touch that she had, she knows his smell and voice. I already had a child and I loved him so much I wondered if my heart could love her too. I was worried that maybe my son would feel like he’s missing out with the new baby getting all the attention. He surprised me and embraced the role of big brother since day one. I learned that time really does heal all things and the scar that I thought would split open is still intact. The baby that I didn’t feel connected to is almost 2 and is the most amazing little girl. She can light up any room and her laugh is contagious. My heart made room for her and I can honestly say I love both my kids the same. People that think having a C-section is the easy way out probably never had one, so please keep your opinions to yourself. And to all the moms that have the scar- you are superstars! It doesn’t matter how you became a mother, natural birth or C-section what matters is how you raise your kids.

The surrogacy home

The contractions woke me up at six fifteen in the morning. Why can’t babies ever let there birth mothers have a decent night of sleep before they decide it’s time to arrive? I alerted the nurse who came to check on me a little later. Once, days like these, birthing days, used to get me all excited, but not anymore. I’d been doing this for way too long. It was my 18th time giving birth to a child someone else would raise. I had spent my entire adult life in the surrogacy home.

It wasn’t a bad way to make a living, per ce. I moved in here at 18. I was the youngest in a rather poor family, it’s not like I had a million opportunities. At the surrogate center, they’d take me in, put food on the table, a roof over my head and a small sum of money, for the rent of my uterus and my skills as a birther. It was a decent deal. At least I’d never go hungry. And I sort of liked the idea of helping couples who couldn’t have children on their own. It felt like I was doing something meaningful, perhaps the only meaningful thing a drop-out loser like me could ever do.

But that was then. When I was young and had life ahead of me. Now I was a lot older. In a few years I wouldn’t be able to bear children anymore. I was, like old police men say in the movies, getting too old for this shit. When I entered the exam room at a few minutes past eight that morning, and lay down, legs spread, in from of Dr. Barnes, like I’d done so many times before, I informed him that this would be my last job.

- Really? Are you sure, Rose? he asked, as he began probing me with two gloved fingers.

- Yes. I’ll push this one out, and then I’m done. There’s gotta be more to life, than lying like this, with my legs in holders and a guy’s hands up my pussy, I said with a sly smile. Over the years, we’d developed a friendly tone. He had delivered my four last ones, and about seven or eight in total.

- Well, well. We’ll miss you, but I guess you’ve done more than anyone can ask for this place, he said. - Let’s just finish this one last gig together, then, shall we?

I nodded, as a strong contraction hit me and I needed to bite my teeth and pant to get through it. Barnes knew me well enough to know I didn’t need any breathing exercises or other kinds of support, I knew what I was doing.

- You’re pretty much fully dilated now, so just start pushing when you’re ready, ok? Your water broke a while ago, I understand?

- Mhm… I panted. - When I was on the toilet earlier. It must be an hour ago now.

- Ok. You’re progressing nicely, he assured me, as he began rubbing my clit with his gloved thumb. - You just do your thing. This’ll be over in no time.

I tried to relax and enjoy the stimulation he was giving me. But the urge to push was building up inside me, and I knew it was time to get to work. I let me thighs fall further apart as a new contraction started to build up.

- Ah… Here we go… I need to push now!

- Good, Rose, good. Let’s see a nice, hard push now. One, two, three!

I pushed. Like so many times before. I knew exactly how to get the most effect from the work I was putting in, and I could feel the child moving down inside me, stretching me open more and more with each second.

- Feels like a big one, I managed between clenches.

- Yup. The last measure did show a bit more weight than any of your previous ones. So you have got a bit of work ahead of you, Barnes said, checking his computer screen. - Oh, and those measurements are a week old. The baby must have grown a bit by then. Let’s hope it’s not too bad.

Then I couldn’t talk anymore, my body needed all my energy in the lower region. I bit my lip as I grunted loudly and pushed again, hard, long pushes…

- Good, Rose, you’re doing great. Keep pushing, I just want to take your temperature real quick… Barnes grabbed a long steel thermometer and slid it into my anus as I kept pushing with all my might. He had to hold it in there, until he let it slide back into his hand. - Your temperature is fine, no worries there. Keep pushing!

My labia is beginning to open now. I can feel the head spreading my lips down there. Barnes sees it, too.

- You’re starting to crown…

- I know! I hiss, as I push again.

- Sorry, sorry, of course. Want me to add some pressure from behind, like last time? he asks. I nod. I’ll take any help I can get, this kid feels huge. Barnes slowly, but surely, inserts a finger into my anus, then another one. He goes deeper and deeper. The added pressure makes the head glide faster. The lips are opening more and more… and more… I let out a sort of shout as the head pops out. Barnes quickly changes his gloves, before he begins to guide the shoulders.

- Nearly there… push… oh, my, this is a big one, huh?

I can’t reply, I just grunt and breathe, as I push with everything I’ve got. I feel it sliding out, slowly, slowly, but more and more… I try to force my legs further apart, giving the baby more room.

- One more time. Push!

And with the last push, I send the huge baby flying into the doctors hands. I fall back on the table with a sigh, completely exhausted.

- It’s a boy! A big, strong boy! Barnes laughs. - Do you want to hold him?

- Sure, I say with a smile. All my children have stayed with me for an hour or so, before going to their new parents. This one will not be an exeption. Dr. Barnes puts the naked baby on my chest. His eyes are already open, and he seems alert and ready to start living.

- So, Rose. Is he really going to be your last? Barnes asks.

- Nah, who am I kidding, I giggle. - Of course I’ll do it again.

Seb and Levi at the birthing clinic

What am I doing? Thoughts are flying through my head as I am wheeled into the birthing clinic on a gurney. I’m a man of 38, I’m nine months pregnant and about to give birth to my first child! It seems unbelievable that only 5-10 years ago, this was a task that was intended only for women. Gay couples like Seb and I had to rely on surrogacy and adoption back then. I’m glad we waited for technology to catch up with us. Also, I’m terrified. But looking up at my husband’s face and feeling his hand in mine as they roll me into the delivery room, I am reassured. We’re going to manage this together.

We flipped a coin over who would carry the baby. I won or lost, depending on how you look at it. I got an embryo placed in me, made from my husband’s sperm and my older sister Anna’s egg. So this child should be a nice, dark skinned and absolutely beautiful creature, just like Seb. At least that’s my hope.

“Right, Levi, let’s get you onto the table!” Two strong orderlies grab me and lift me up. I’m placed on a table, and Seb is encouraged to sit down beside me on a small stool. He looks so strange in the paper gown he was told to put over his clothes, and that funny paper cap on his head.

“You all right, sweetie?” he asks. I nod. “Yeah. it hurts, but I’m ok.”

The door opens and a man comes in, tall and with a kind face. He looks to be in his fifties.

“Hello, Levi. I’m Dr. Robson, and I will be delivering your baby today.” He shakes my hand first, then Seb’s. Then he places both hands on my belly and begins to feel around. “How are you doing? Has your water broken yet?” “Yes,” I reply. “In the ambulance.” “And his contractions are pretty much constant at this point,” Seb ads, in a slightly nervous voice. “Right, well, we’d better take a look, then, see if the little one is ready to come out.”

The orderlies help him to hang my legs up in these hoops above me. Then they pull me down, so that my ass is hanging very close to the end of the table. Dr. Robson puts on some latex gloves, adjusts the light and stands between my now widespread legs. “Ok, Levi, breathe. I’m going to examine you now.”

I feel his fingers in my anus and I flinch, but I try to breathe and stay calm. He goes deeper, and deeper. “Breathe, I’m nearly there.” I do my best. “You’re fully dilated, Levi. It’s baby time.” His fingers leave my birth canal and I exhale loudly. Dr. Robson is gently rubbing my opening now. “Ok, give me a good, strong push now, Levi. On three. One, two, three! ”

Seb supports my neck as I push, hard trying to bear down into my ass like I was taught in the classes. “Irrrrggggnnnnhhhhh!”

“Good job, Levi!” Dr. Robson smiles. You’re a great pusher!“ He looks at Seb.” You got yourself a good man here.“ Seb nods, before squeezing my hand. "I know.”

I cry out as the current contraction reaches a high point. “Push through it, Levi, push through the pain,” the doctor urges. “Come on now. Push!”

“Irrrggghhhhhhhh!” I can feel my canal stretching now. “Good, good, the baby’s coming down nicely. Do you know what you’re having?” The doctor asks. “No, we wanted it to be a surprise” , Seb replies. “We don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as it’s healthy.” “Well, let’s see if we can get this little surprise a bit further down, OK? Push for me, Levi! Push hard!” I take a deep breath as I try once again to bear down as hard as I can. “Arrgghnnnhhhh!” “Good, push again! Deep breath and push!” “Ooooooorrrrgggnnnhhh!”

Many minutes and many pushes later, Dr. Robson finally says the words I have been longing to hear. “You’re crowning, Levi! We’re almost done now!”

Seb takes a look, then comes back to my side, grinning. “You’re doing so good, hun! Our baby is coming now!” “Give me another hard push, Levi,” the doctor says. “Let’s birth this baby now!” I push again, feeling my opening being stretched out as the head begins to slide out. “We have a forehead, and eyes, and a cute little nose…” The doctor reports, as I keep pushing. “Push, hun, you’re doing great, just push hard!” Seb urges me. “Aaannd, the head is out!” Dr. Robson says, as I feel his fingers checking the baby’s neck, making sure it’s not held back by the umbilical cord. Seb takes another look, before kissing my forehead. “You’ve birthed a beautiful baby’s head! Our baby is coming! It’s almost here, Levi, we’re nearly parents!” “One more big push now. Ready?” the doctor asks. I’m so exhausted I can’t even voice a reply, but I nod. “OK, push now! Push!”

“Iiiiirrrrghhhhh!” A shoulder breaks free from my aching body. Then one more. “Keep pushing, Levi, push now, good man! PUSH!”

“IRRRRGGGGNNNNHHHHH!” “Push! Push, Levi, PUSH!” “Push, hun, push the baby out!”

“AAAAAARRRGGGHHHHHH!” I can feel the body sliding slowly out, before it finally falls into Dr. Robsons hands. “A nice big, healthy boy!” he declares. Seb cries and kisses my forehead again. “You did it, hun, you did it! I love you!” I can only manage a weak “I love you too…” as I close my eyes for a second, completely out of energy. But I open them again when our son is placed on my chest a minute later. “He’s perfect…” I whisper, looking at the little face. “He looks like you, Seb…” Seb smiles. “He might look like me, but he came out of you!” He gives me a kiss on the lips. I have never felt this happy.

I was collected from my home, a small hut in the village, by the emperor’s guards. My parents cried as I was taken from them. Though I was beginning to be a woman, nearly ready for marriage, I was still their little girl. None of us knew why the guards had come to bring me to the palace. The uncertainty of it all was terrifying.

The guards brought me to a room and locked me in it. It was a stunning room, compared to our simple life back home. A bed, with the most fantastic quilts and cushions. Art on the walls. Plants indoors. I was taking it all in, when the door opened. It was him, the emperor himself. I recognized him from the few times my parents had taken me to the palace to see him wave at the crowds from his balcony. A tall man, his dark hair collected in a small braid down his neck, tan skinned and broad shouldered. He was older than me, but probably somewhat younger than my parents. I had never thought I’d get to speak to this man, let alone spend time alone with him. He must have seen the insecurity and slight fear in my eyes as he spoke to me for the first time.

“Don’t be afraid, girl. You’re probably wondering why you are here?” I nodded, not knowing what to say. “You are here because of a recent prophecy that my priests have shared with me. They told me my heir would be born from a miller’s daughter. You are the only miller’s daughter in this part of the land, are you not?” I nodded again. He smiled, slightly. “Well, thank the gods that you’re not ugly. The prophecy says that my heir will be the most powerful emperor the world has ever seen. A true prince. He will be both strong and handsome, and take good care of our country and its people. It is important that this prophecy is fullfilled.” He paused. “Do you know what all of this means, girl?” This time I shook my head. He took a step closer to me. “It means that I’m going to put a child in your belly. Right now!” 

I didn’t resist as he forcefully undressed me and threw me onto the bed. He turned me around and climbed up behind me, and soon I felt his manhood trying to enter my untouched opening. “Please don’t…” I said in a weak voice, but I don’t think he even heard it. Before long his dick was throbbing inside me, and I let out a scream. It was a whole new sensation, both painful and somehow good at once. 

“Don’t worry, girl. This is the start of something great for you,” he said between clenched teeth as he kept thrusting, again and again. “You will be the mother of my child. My semen will fill you up and make my heir grow inside you.” 

When it was over, and I got to lie down and cry my silent tears, he lay down beside me. He smiled at me again, that strange smile, which was both warm and disturbing at the same time. 

“What is your name, girl? I should know the name of my child’s mother.” I looked him straight in the eyes for the first time as I spoke. “My name is Keyla.” “Keyla…” He let a hand run over my cheek. “Don’t cry, Keyla. It won’t hurt as much the next time. I promise.”

He was right. The next time was better, and after a few nights I actually began to enjoy it. I began smiling at him when he entered my room in the evenings. I was starting to adjust to life at court. Sitting around doing nothing in various beautiful rooms during the day. Being with him every night, when he wasn’t out on his various missions.

After eight weeks, he brought one of his doctors to see me. The old man examined my private parts, as the emperor watched me lying there, naked from the waist down. After the exam, the doctor turned towards him, ignoring me completely. 

“Congratulations, your majesty. There is life inside her, no doubt about it. The prophecy is going to be fulfilled!” 

I could see the joy in the emperor’s eyes. But they darkened when he took in what happened next. The old man slapped my naked thigh. “Get dressed, girl! I’m done with you now.” 

“Do not speak to her like that,” he said calmly.

“But, your majesty, she’s only a servant, after all. We mustn’t let this get to her head…” 

“Don’t call my child’s mother a servant! She has my son inside her, which makes her one of the most important people in this palace. Far more important than the likes of you.”

The old man sighed. “Of course, my emperor. I will leave you now.”

I sat up as the doctor closed the door behind him. “Please, don’t let him deliver the child. I don’t like him.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll have him hanged by sunrise.” The emperor sat down beside me on the bed and let a hand glide over my belly. “All you need to worry about is letting you body be a safe home for our baby in the months to come.”

I grew rapidly. Several new doctors were brought in to check on me weekly, and they all agreed that I was making great progress. The emperor kept coming to me at night as often as he could, often sleeping close to me, one hand resting on my growing belly.

“Will you be there with me when I give birth?” I asked him one evening. “I really want you there with me.”

“If it is your wish, then I will,” he agreed. “I would like to be one of the first people to see our child.”

The time came when I was expected to deliver, but the child kept growing inside me. It didn’t seem to want to come out. The priests said that this was in coherence with the prophecy - the child would be large and strong when he came into the world. The emperor seemed excited and a bit worried, as well, and I felt the same way.

Then, two weeks after the due date, it was time. I woke up in the middle of the night, realizing that it was happening, and it was going to be fast! I woke up the sleeping father-to-be beside me and told him to get the doctors.

Before long, I was lying there, knees spread, and four of the country’s best doctors looking at my opening. The emperor was sitting on the bed, by my side, supporting my neck with one hand, and holding my hand with the other. The doctors had nervously asked him if he intended to leave, but he snarled at them and told them that his child’s mother wanted him there, and so he would stay.

“Push, your highness!” they urged me, not knowing what else to call me without offending him again. I pushed, feeling my enourmous child working its way out of me. “Very good, your highness, push again! You’re doing wonderfully!”

I pushed, and I pushed. The child squirmed around inside me, sliding down, little by little. “Push, your highness! A very strong push now!” I obeyed.

After a time, and many, many pushes, they told me that the baby’s head was on the way out. The emperor looked between my legs, then turned to me, an ecstatic look on his face. 

“You feel that, Keyla? You’re giving birth to my child! My child is coming out of you!”

“Aaaaarrrggghhh!” was all I could manage, as the massive head slid slowly, oh so slowly, out of me. “Aaaaaaahhhh!” I lay back to breathe for a moment. “I want you to pull the baby out!”

He seemed confused. “Me?”

“Yes!” I managed. “You’re the emperor, it seems only right that you be the first to hold our baby!”

He thought it over for a second, then he moved to sit between my legs, chasing the doctors away. Once he was in position, he took a deep breath and let it out.

“Right. One last push, my sweet. Come on, now!”

I grunted as the baby’s shoulders emerged, stretching me to a point I thought impossible. I felt him take our child by the armpits and gently pull it out of me, slowly. It took almost a minute before the delivery was complete, and I fell back onto the sheet, panting with exhaustion. The emperor held our son up for me to see. A very large baby, dark haired like his father. Gently, he placed him on my naked chest.

“You did it, my darling. Or shall I call you “my queen” from now on?”

You volunteered for this. You agreed to let these people perform their experiments on you, basically do whatever they want to you. Because you know that this means that you’ll get to experience the one thing you’ve always wished for. You’re gonna get a baby in your belly. You are going to get pregnant.

They have put you on a table. There’s at least ten of them around you now, doctors, nurses… All in white. All with mouth covers.

“Spread the legs!” You legs are lifted into holders and strapped in. Then they grab your arms, pull them to the sides and place straps on your wrists as well. Paper sheets are placed over your thighs. A bright light is turned on above you and adjusted to shine right onto your opening. It feels warm. You hear the snapping of latex gloves.

“A thermometer in each opening.” A tall, male doctor orders the nurses around, and one of them quickly inserts the two little sticks into your body. “Squeeze around them until you hear beeping.” You do as you’re told. 30 seconds of hard work. Then the beep comes and you are told to relax. “Good. The temperature is ideal. Let’s insert the embryo.”

In comes the speculum, with no warning. The clanking of other instruments. And pressure, as something reaches your cervix. “Relax now. Here we go.” You can feel that your womb is being filled up inside. Three doctors are working between your legs now. The process is over in minutes, and the speculum is pulled out, but your legs remain tied. The table is tilted, so that your lower half is higher than you upper.

One of the doctors comes to your side. He puts a hand on your belly. It was flat before all this, but now it is noticeably swelling. “Congratulations. We’ve impregnated you. You should be ready to give birth in the morning.”

The night is intense. Your legs remain tied to the holders, and every hour someone comes by and sticks two fingers inside you to check the progress. During the 7 AM exam, your water breaks. Your belly is big and round now, like a basketball. By 7.30, they have put you in an OR, your legs still spread in holders. It’s just as busy as the day before, there are people everywhere. The drapes go over your legs again. Someone is cleaning your most private parts using cotton balls drenched in some strange smelling fluid. Then there are gloved fingers inside you again. “You’re ready. Push!”

You take a deep breath, and you try to do as they say. It does seem to be working, something is definitely happening. They tell you to keep going, so you do. Then you’re told to stop. Breathe. Pant for a moment. Now cough, hard. Deep breath, and push again! 

For what seems like hours, but is actually more like 30 minutes, this continues. Push and pause. Breathe. Cough hard. Push. Push harder! And pause. Then there’s suddenly more pressure. Your opening is streched out, little by little…

“You’re crowning,” one of the doctors explain. “Now, we’re going to insert this probe in your anus, see if that’ll pop the head out of you.” He barely finishes the sentence before the probe goes in. And sure enough, the added pressure makes something force it’s way out of you, as you wail in pain, excitement and surprise.

“The head is out! Now, don’t push yet! We need to make sure the baby is OK first.” They’re taking the probe ack out now. You try to keep yourself from pushing as they work between your legs. The sensation is so strange, painful, yet not. Satisfying, yet there’s such an urge to push again. You breathe, and try to concentrate.

“Right, push out the shoulders. Come on now! Push! Big big push now, we’re nearly there.” With effort, you seem to make something happen down there. The opening is stretched to its limits now, and it burns like you’ve never felt it before. 

“OK, stop pushing again!” The doctor sounds stern. “The baby is halfway out. We’d like to keep it there for a bit. No pushing until I say so!”  You manage to resist again, allthough every fiber of your being is telling you to bear down and push the rest of the baby out. They’re doing something down there, but you can’t see any of it, you can only feel their hands and their instruments, moving around between your legs. The baby feels heavy in the opening, so heavy…

“You can push again now! Let’s see a real good final push!”

You lean into a hard push, your whole face contorted with pain and strain. And with a gush of fluid, the baby is sent shooting into the world. The relief is enourmous. You lie down and take a deep breath as the doctor holds your son up for you to see.

“Great job. Ready to make another one tomorrow?”

Melina was 19 when she got impregnated by her ex-boyfriend, but he left her, once she told him. She lives alone with her dad in an apartment outside the town and she really liked it there.

She had black hair, in a bob cut and blue eyes. Her DD-Cup breasts were sitting perfectly inside her bras and her 8 days overdue pregnant belly made all her clothes look too tight. Ignoring the fact, she had slim hips; she wanted to have an all-natural birth at home.

It all started one month ago, when her Dad lost his driving license and asked her to drive him to work, even now, while she was overdue.

It was on a Thursday at the end of September, when Melina felt some cramps running through her body. She was now 9 days overdue and she really managed to ignore them until the early evening. She was sitting in her room, breathing through them. They were coming every 12 minutes, lasting 30 seconds.

Melina walked around in her room, rubbing her huge belly and breathed with each new pain. Eventually she walked to the kitchen to grab some snacks and some water. Her Dad was in his office, preparing things for the other day.

Around 9 PM Melina was breathing through another pain as her Dad knocked and entered the room, only to find her in pain.

“Dad, I’m in labor!”, she said, as the contraction ended.

He moved her to the bed, pulled down her pants and pushed fingers inside her, without any warnings.

“You’re only at 3 cm, you will have enough time!”

He run his fingers over Melina’s sensitive clitoris and patted her huge belly.

“Now go to bed, we have to leave at 7 AM and tomorrow will be a long day. Good night!”

Without another word, he left the room and went to bed. Tomorrow was Friday and on Friday he usually had tons of meetings. Melina pulled her pants up again and really tried to sleep, which was pretty hard, with contractions hitting every 12 minutes, but somehow she really fell asleep.

Melina woke up around 5 AM with stronger contractions, lasting 45 seconds now and was followed by another one 7 minutes later. She got up, dressed herself in a green knee-long pullover, heavily stretched over the huge belly and some leggings underneath it. While making breakfast she needed to stop every 7 minutes to breath. Once her Dad arrived around 6:15 AM, he found her breathing and holding the belly while supporting on the table.

“So, how’s it going?”

Melina looked at him and answered as the pain faded away.

“Around 7 minutes apart…”

“Good!”

He sat down and ate breakfast, Melina tried to do the same. She felt some pressure building up, knowing it was the baby ramming against the cervix. While Melina cleared the table, she felt a little change in her belly and leaned against the counter to breathe. As soon as the contraction ended, she felt fluids running down her legs and looked at her father, who was a little bit shocked as well. With the next contraction, only 5 minutes away, she groaned at the sudden intensity.

“This one was much stronger than before!”

Her dad was already in his room to grab his stuff and came back, ready to leave. Without warning, he lifted her to the kitchen counter, pulled her leggings and panties down, only to push finger inside her again.

“Hmm, you’re dilating as slow as your mother did, you’re at 6 cm. How long since your labor started?”

Melina thought for a second before answering.

“18 hours… I think…”

He pulled Melina down and she pulled her pants back up as another sharp contraction struck her. They were sharper now after the water broke. Once it was over, he grabbed something like a leather belt and fixed it around her hips and even one part went down between her legs. The clock showed 6:55 AM.

“Come on, let’s go!”

Melina finally noticed what her dad fixed around her hips and looked at him in shock.

“Dad, wait! You can’t fix a chastity belt around my hips! Take it off, please!”

“NO! I have a few important meetings going on today and I can’t have you delivering this baby now. Keep it inside until everything is done!”

After the next contraction, she really followed her dad to the elevator and waited until it arrived. Once they were inside, it descended for 8 floors including 2 for the basement and the garage.

Melina growled as she opened the door and sat behind the steer wheel. Breathing for another minute, she started the car and drove out of the garage.

Each time a contraction hit, Melina grabbed the steering wheel as hard as she could and breathed.

45 Minutes later they arrived at her Dad’s workplace and after another pain she got out of the car, following him inside. Inside the elevator Melina leaned against the wall to deal with another contraction.

Before he entered the conference room he ordered her to sit down on one of the chairs and don’t walk around. Melina obeyed and sat down, feeling the leather chastity belt pushing against her crotch.

Melina was now in labor since 19 hours and in active labor since 1:30 hours.

Time passed, 1 hour, 2 hours, 3 hours. Melina tried her best to stay quiet and paced around in front of the conference room to deal with the pain and the growing pressure. They got closer again and were now around 3 minutes apart.

“Ah, here you are! We’re done here, let’s go!”

Melina looked up as she heard a voice behind her and before she even could say a word; her Dad dragged her to the elevators.

“The next one is in 30 minutes at Nendo Company; it should be a short one!”

He explained as she breathed through another pain, while getting to their car. Once sitting in the car, Melina grabbed the steering wheel hard each time and drove to Nendo Company. After driving into the carpark and finding a parking spot, Dad left the car and gave her orders again.

“You stay here, it shouldn’t take long!”

She nod and he left after closing the car door.

Melina leaned back, rubbing her huge contracting belly until another contraction hit her, harder, longer and stronger than before. She grabbed the steering wheel until her knuckles went white and breathed. 30 Seconds after it ended, the next one started right away. Transition, Melina thought. She tried moving her hips on the seat and began panting. The baby inside her pushed hard against the cervix, but she tried to blow the pain away without much success. Everything inside her was pressing down and she groaned as she felt her birth canal got stretched painfully. The contractions were overlapping from time to time but mostly they were 90 seconds long with a little 30 seconds break.

It was exactly 2 PM when her Dad opened the door and got into the car, only to find her panting.

“What’s wrong?”

“The baby’s coming… have to push!”

“Good, that’s perfect! So let’s drive home, so you can deliver your baby!”

He patted her belly and rubbed over it, knowing the baby would be a big one.

“Ah, but first, you should drive to Ronaldo. We don’t have Champagne to celebrate the arrival of my grandchild!”

Melina growled before she really started the car, drove out of the car park and took the road to Ronaldo. She was now in labor since 25 hours.

“OOOOOWWWWW…”

The pressure inside Melina grew and her body almost ordered her to push as the baby slowly moved down against her will.

2:20 PM, Melina stopped in front of Ronaldo and Dad disappeared inside of the shop. Every cell in her body wanted to spread her legs and push, but she couldn’t. Even as she resisted the urge, she felt the baby moving down in her birth canal slightly, making her vagina slowly bulging out.

Melina tried again to move her hips in circles while the pressure grew close to unbearable. She leaned back, grabbed the steering wheel really hard and pushed, making the bulge of her vagina even bigger and bigger. The pressure was immense and her belly was rock hard. She could feel her leggings tightening a bit around her hips as the bulge in her crotch slowly grew.

Completely forgetting about the Chastity belt, Melina continued pushing as the time passed once again.

Around 4 PM the door was teared open and her Dad got into the car.

“We can drive home, I have everything we need. So how’s the progress Darling?”

Melina knew he was drunk. He probably met the Boss of Ronaldo and instead of buying they started chatting and testing different champagnes and wines. She knew, if she wouldn’t answer or do as he says, she had to endure this longer.

“It’s… crowning…”

It took a while before Melina was mentally ready to drive a car again, so that she didn’t notice her Dad getting impatient. He reached over to her and grabbed her left breast, pulling her over to him and talked straight into her face. She moaned involuntary and her blue eyes shot open.

“If we aren’t at home before 5:30 PM so I can watch my favorite series, you will wear the belt the whole night!”

Melina’s eyes went wide before another painful contraction hit her. Once she caught her breath, she started the car again and drove home. Luckily the streets were free and she could drive without much stopping. During each new pain, she grabbed the steering wheel hard until her knuckles went wide, held her breath and tried to ignore the unbearable urge to push.

Thanks to some problems with some red lights, they arrived at home around 5:45 PM but it wasn’t her fault. While Melina breathed through another contraction, trying not really to push again, her Dad got out of the car, opened her door and pulled her out of the car. Her knees almost gave out as the sudden down pressure drastically intensified. She sobbed as she felt the baby moving downwards even without a contraction and without pushing. She could feel the baby’s head slowly sliding down, stretching and opening her with every step she was forced to take. The big head was still slowly crowning and the pressure continued to grow. It really took some effort for Melina to walk inside and get inside the elevator. Another contraction, another push, another painful groan.

It was 6 PM, when her Dad opened the door, tossed his things to the floor and run to the television. Melina was leaning against the front door to breath, as she heard her Dad calling for her.

“Melina! Get my things in my room and get over here!”

Melina answered with a short “Yes!” grabbed the things and slowly waddled to the bedroom where she placed everything on the bed and the desk. The large baby moved down more and more, opening her lips more, allowing to do more crowning but the belt held it in place. After some more pushing, Melina figured it was useless to continue pushing. The head was hold back by the belt now.

With small steps she waddled into the living, close to her Dad.

“What… do you want me to do… to get the belt off?”

He looked at her and smirked.

“Take off your pullover and get over here!”

She nods, taking off her pullover and walked closer to her Dad, only to be turned around and get pulled onto his lap. Melina didn’t fight back, but groaned loud with another push, while the head moved forward again.

“Ngggghhhh…”

He ignored her struggle and grabbed her breasts, only to squeeze and knead them. She moaned, throwing her head back and spread her legs intuitively to get the baby out. Eventually she moaned louder, started panting from the touch of her father, while he fondled her breasts roughly, rolled her nipples between his fingers and made some milk spray around. It really took a while until Melina was heard screaming and was cumin hard, while her body forced the baby down more, spreading her even wider, even if there was no way out. He let go of her and she sank down onto the floor, fighting the most powerful contraction she had until now. He unzipped his pants and smirked.

“Now, turn around and suck it!”

She turned around again, heavily panting and nodded, before she touched his fat member and started teasing him. After several minutes of hard sucking, touching and teasing he came inside her mouth, moaning loud. She hunched over in a kneeling position and pushed with the unbearable pressure, feeling the baby trying to crown more and more, screaming with the pain.

“AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!! Take it off, pleeeeeaaase!!”

He patted her big round belly and smiled.

“Well, since you were a good girl today, I think I can take it off. Let me get the key!”

The clock showed 7 PM and Melina was now in labor since 30 hours.

Once he came back, he heaved her onto the couch and opened the lock of the belt, taking it off slowly followed by her leggings and the panties. The bulge between Melina’s legs was enormous and the head seemed to be close to a full crown.

“Now, be a good daughter and deliver for Daddy!”

Melina nodded, grabbed her legs and finally pushed.

“Hnnnnnngggggghhhaaaarrrrgggghhh!!”

Her lips spread apart even more, to a size most doctors would consider impossible for such a small girl.

“Oooooooowwwwwww! It burns, it burns, it burns!”

The extreme stretching was already painful enough, but now there was this unbearable burning feeling, that started to drive her insane. She would love to squat but she knew her Dad wouldn’t allow it, so she pushed hard again, while lying on her back. After the last push, she noticed the baby moving down steadily and decided to give small brief grunts.

“Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo… Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh!”

Another agonizing push, a loud scream and the head was out. Melina fell back and lay there panting for a few minutes.

“The head is out; now breathe until it has turned around.”

Melina needed to breathe for almost 15 minutes until she could finally push again. She tucked her chin in and bore down with all she had.

“Hnnnnnnngggggggg!! Come on… baby… hnnnngggghhh!”

The shoulder opened her wide again and after some more pushing; she felt the first shoulder beginning to emerge. Another contraction, another push and the shoulder moved out more, while the second one followed soon. Both shoulders were now sitting inside her vagina and the burning returned worse than before.

“Come on baby, almost there! Hnnnnggggghhhhhh! Gaaaaaaaaaaarrrgghhhh!”

She screamed loud as both shoulders moved together through her vagina.

“Hnnnnnggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!”

After another agonizing push, the baby was born and landed between her and her Dad, followed by another gush of fluids. She fell back and panted from exhaustion.

Her Dad picked the little girl up, checked her for a moment before cutting the cord. The little girl was born at 9 PM after 32 hours of painful labor and was around 10 pounds big. 

Melina birthed the afterbirth 30 minutes later, took her daughter and started feeding her.

The 17 years old Anna-Sophie was on her way home, after a long day at school. She was tired from sport lesson and only wanted to get home, to take off her blue dress and fall onto her fluffy bed. Her long brown wavy hair was braided together and hung over her left shoulder. Of course she could have taken the bus to get home, but she liked the cold air even if it was autumn already.

She was like two blocks away from her home, when she passed a side street and heard a female voice painfully groaning. Her feet lead her slowly into that side street to check this out. Her green eyes went wide, as she saw the source of the noises. It was a young woman, maybe around 20 years old, with long blonde hair and a big round pregnant belly. She probably was on her way home, just like Anna-Sophie was, as she must’ve went into labor. Anna-Sophie grabbed her phone, ready to call an ambulance and approached to the panting pregnant woman.

“Excuse me Miss, do you need help? Should I call an ambulance for you?”

The blonde woman grunted, while leaning against the wall and lowered to her knees.

“There’s no time!”, she said quickly, lifting her white dress high enough for Anna-Sophie to see the panties around the bulged out vagina.

“It’s coming! Help me… please!”

Anna-Sophie nodded unwittingly and helped her into a better position and pulled her panties down. Anna-Sophie blushed at the view. There was a pregnant woman sitting in front of her, with her legs spread and the vagina bulging out.

Unconsciously she moved her hand over the vagina and rubbed the huge bulge, which made the blonde woman moaning in pleasure.

“Owww, here comes another one!”, complained the blonde, placing both hands on her belly.

“What? Um… you need to push right? So… um… push!”, Anna-Sophie suggested, placing her hands on the woman’s knees.

Anna-Sophie’s eyes rested on the bulged vagina as those nether lips slowly opened a little bit. With the next contraction, the lips opened even more and she could sneak a peek of the head behind them. The blonde woman pushed with each contraction and smirked at the girl’s reaction. Anna-Sophie was amazed of what she saw. She loved watching birth videos on the Internet, but she never expected to see one this close.

The pregnant woman grunted as a powerful contraction ended and panted to catch her breath. Her vagina was opened in a tear drop shape, even after the effort she had.

Anna-Sophie checked her watch; it’s been an hour since she found her. After the next push, she noticed the head slipping back in a bit and looked at her, was worried.

“Why is the head slipping back in? Is something wrong?”, she asked nervous.

“That’s normal. It needs more room and my body needs to stretch more for it.”, she said nicely to her and pushed again afterwards. Only with that one push, the tear drop shape returned and this time it stayed and got even bigger.

Anna-Sophie’s eyes shone as the lips opened more and more with each push. The woman pushed really hard each time and soon the head stayed where it was and slowly moved out of her. She took Anna-Sophie’s hand and moved it to her vagina.

“You can touch it, if you want!”, she said, with a soft smile.

Anna-Sophie looked at her in surprise and nod. Once her hand covered the vagina, she rubbed softly over it and earned another moan from the blonde female. With the next push, Anna-Sophie run her fingers over the sensitive vagina and felt the head being pushed forward. It almost took another hour until the pregnant lady was heard screaming. Baby’s head reached the biggest part and was at a full crown. Her vagina was stretched to their limits and she whimpered that it burned. Was this the so called “Ring-of-fire”?

Anna-Sophie run both hands over the stretched out vagina and noticed that she was moaning more because of what she was doing. She liked to be stimulated while she was giving birth? To be honest, Anna-Sophie was aroused as well.

She softly moved her fingers to the clitoris of the laboring woman and stroke over it, which was rewarded by a soft moan. She continued stroking the clitoris and even rubbed it, to distract her from the pain and it seemed to work. Soon she was squirming under the touch, while her body kept pushing and started twitching. After some more minutes, the laboring woman pushed her hip upwards and cum with a loud squeal and while she cum, the head was pushed out of her vagina, followed by a gush of fluid.

“Oh my, the head is out!”, Anna-Sophie and helped the woman to get to the get her hip back to the ground.

She was panting with the head between her legs and needed to resist the urge to push for a while to allow the baby to turn. After panting for a while, the mother-to-be grabbed her legs and pulled them back and pushed hard while Anna-Sophie was supporting the head. It only took a few more pushes to get the first shoulder out and the second one followed right after it. With a loud scream, the baby slipped out of the mother and she raised it to her chest.

Anna-Sophie finally managed to call an ambulance and left as soon as the blonde woman and her baby were inside the ambulance and drove away. She walked home, took a quick shower and fell into her fluffy bed. While she thought about the birth again, she fell asleep, not knowing that someone was watching her.

How lucky am I to have such an amazing friend that she documented BOTH of my girls’ births. Here you go little one, your birth story as told my Auntie Bear, with frequentinterjections from Momma :)

Dear DC,

One day you will look back on your life and think, “Time flies…” You will not know exactly where it went, or how you got there, but every experience in your life will have led to that moment. I want to tell you the story of your first experience in this thing we call life.  I can’t wait until you are old enough to hear this story told by me, you will laugh hysterically, we all do every time I tell it. Truth be told, the beginning of your story actually occurred prior to your earthly arrival. It was over the Christmas holiday in Saint Lucia, your daddy’s homeland, and your parents decided to give MJ a sibling. By the time I came to Washington DC for your mama’s surprise 29th birthday party, we knew you existed. I now look back on those days and think, “My, how time flies…” It seems like just yesterday we were dreaming of your arrival. Though it feels as though it flew by, a great deal of thought, energy and effort went into the 41 weeks that passed before your birth.

Mama worked very hard to nurture you and provide the perfect home for you to grow in. She loved you so very much, and her expression of that love was evident in the way she loved her body. She ate well, exercised, and learned everything she could about being a strong vessel for your entrance. Her pregnancy and labor with MJ was very difficult, and she wanted to do everything in her power to cultivate a better experience for the two of you. She and your daddy went to hypnobirthing classes so they could learn calming techniques for management of her labor. I took doula classes and an additional hypnobirthing class so I could help your mama and daddy through your birth. By the time your due date rolled around, we were all ready. I arrived in DC 17 days before you did :) and you sure gave us all a lesson in patience. The funny (or not so funny) thing was that your mama thought the hard part was waiting for *my* arrival. She was having contractions all the time, and laid still all weekend so that she wouldn’t have you before I came from Minnesota. However, she did such a great job of preparing for you that you were quite content to stay put in her belly.

I arrived September 29th, but you had other plans for your grand entrance so we had some extra time to get ready for you. We finished decorating your nursery, cleaned the house, and spent each evening and nap time practicing hypnobirthing scripts. I became pretty good at putting your mama in the relaxation zone! It seemed as though you were pretty relaxed, too… We decided to kick things up a notch and tried EVERY trick in the book to get you to come. We had spicy Indian food. We took walk after walk. We went to Great Falls in Virginia and your daddy made a little home movie. Mama got foot reflexology three times! Auntie Bear is forgetting she even baked some type of eggplant labor inducing meal LOL, child we tried EVERYTHING!  The night Grandma Judith and our friend Jess arrived, Mama was having strong, consistent contractions. Then, nothing happened. Your due date, October 8th, came and went. Everyone kept asking  mama about when it would be time And momma wanted to punch all of those people in the throat. In our culture, we have moved away from nature’s timing and focused so much on “our timing.”

Mama felt a lot of pressure from this, but she resisted. She wanted to wait for you and her body to decide how your story would unfold. Sunday October 12th, we went to the hospital because mama was having consistent contractions again. The midwife thought it sounded like it could be time, and told us to come in. Grandma Judith and Daddy came with, excited that you would arrive before she went back to Minnesota. Mama was dilated to 2cm and the nurses told us to start walking to see if she could make any more progress. Mama was so determined; she walked like an Olympic speed walker. Then, nothing happened. Don’t forget that I also dropped it like it was hot a few times too! They told us it wasn’t time and sent mama home with some sleeping medicine, thinking maybe the next day it would finally be time. Your daddy already had to leave on the weekends to DJ a couple of weddings, which was really hard because mama had to mentally prepare for giving birth without him. Your daddy knew he might have to miss it, which would have been really sad for everyone. Thankfully, that didn’t happen. Because Mommy probably would have NEVER let Daddy live it down. Each night, mama would have hours of contractions. Then, nothing happened. Your mama got to 41 weeks and as another weekend was approaching, everyone agreed we should make a plan to get you here before he had to leave again. Plus, the midwives didn’t want mama to go much past 41 weeks. On Tuesday, we made a plan to go into the hospital at 5:00pm on Wednesday October 15th to see if we could get things rolling! Alas, you were determined to choose your own birthday.

After the false alarm on Sunday, we started thinking maybe you weren’t quite in the right position because mama was having a lot of back pain. We started doing stretches and exercises to make sure you were in the right place. We made an appointment with the chiropractor for Wednesday morning and on Tuesday afternoon decided to go to Virginia to see Lindsey, mama’s hypnobirthing instructor. Lindsey got mama nice and comfortable and read a beautiful script to her about opening up and allowing to you come peacefully. Mama started having contractions during her session. Lindsey did some more stretches with mama and sent us home to rest. Little did we know, there wouldn’t be any rest until we got to meet you!

Mama’s contractions continued during the car ride home. We didn’t even acknowledge them this time. We continued our conversation, she would pause to breathe through them, and I was secretly keeping track of time. They marched on through the long rush hour drive, becoming closer together and lasting longer.  By the time we were home, we were both pretty sure this was it Oh I knew it was it, I literally had my feet up on the dashboard, trying to find some relief with counter-pressure. I was so terrified that I was gonna have you in the car because we were, of course, stuck in crazy DC traffic. She had me call the midwife Tara, who could hear mama in the background and told us we better hustle in! I told your Daddy it was time and of course your big sister decided to throw a tantrum in the rush to leave. Jess helped Daddy get everything ready, and I yelled that I was leaving with mama. While mama and I were waddling through contractions to get in the car, the neighbor yelled out to ask if we needed help! We were quite a spectacle. I remember thinking it was a sweet gesture, but seriously what the hell was he gonna do LOL.

We made it to the hospital and they rushed her up in a wheelchair and straight into a room. The man pushing the wheelchair was so sweet, he was giving me a pep talk the whole time. I love people like him. When Jess and Daddy arrived, Tara the midwife ran past them in the hall. After all the commotion, we found out mama was still just 3cm! Thankfully she had time to get her antibiotics in and calmly breathed through contractions for the next four hours. She was so serene, trusting her body and allowing you to work your way into the world. At midnight, Tara checked and told mama she was 4cm. At this point, mama decided she wanted to have her water broken. Since we had gone to Virginia, this was the one day mama hadn’t taken a nap. It was getting late, and mama felt like she had the strength to keep going at this point, even if it got very intense, as opposed to working all through the night and being too tired if you didn’t come until morning.

Mama and I went in the bathroom and I gave her a pep talk. I told her it was about to get really intense, and she had to mentally prepare herself for the change of pace. She said she was ready. Tara broke mama’s water, the sac that held you in place in her womb. We were all braced for the next contraction thinking it would be pretty hardcore. It came and went without much fanfare. We all looked at each other wondering if things would speed up. We didn’t have to wonder for long! In the next hour and forty minutes, mama went all the way through active labor and transition, which is the last phase before pushing. One day you may learn this, but that is A LOT to go through in such a short period of time. She was so incredibly strong and brave. She didn’t complain at all, and soon enough she was showing all of the classic signs of transition, shaking, throwing up, riding an emotional roller coaster, all the fun stuff! She barely got any time between contractions and just as the thick of it hit, she told us “I did it guys, I did my best!” She kept repeating, “I’m all done now, I did my best, I’m done now!” I was pretty confident mama WAS pretty close to finished, since she had already gone through so much and was acting like a woman who is on the verge of pushing a baby out.. We were encouraging her and telling her how awesome she was, and she WAS doing it. Tara even said, “You’re so close! You sound like moms who’ve already had a baby and are just about ready to push!” She asked mama if she wanted to be checked to see how close she was. Mama said no. At this point, I realized that despite everything she was feeling, mama was afraid she might hear she still had a long way to go. It’s impossible to rationalize with someone who is going through so much and working so hard, so we all just kept encouraging her.

Mama put her hand up to my face and tuned me out! She was all done with me at that point. She turned to Daddy, thinking he would support her. He DID support her, by encouraging her and trying to help her relax, but of course, that’s not what mama was looking for. Truth be told I was looking for the weakest link LOL, in this situation Daddy was the weakest link and since Auntie Bear and Tara were hanging tough and doing what I asked of them, I thought for sure I could lure Daddy to the dark side. Daddy doesn’t like to see me in pain so I was hoping he would say, give her the meds now. But Daddy held strong too and in my head I literally said, they are all against me. She just wanted to meet you and be all done! She went in the tub for awhile, and we had a calm hour. She was really so strong and focused, just as she had been for her whole pregnancy. Then, mama started to get really antsy. She said it felt like she had restless legs, but Tara and I could tell she was ready to have you! We asked her if she felt the need to push and she emphatically said “NO!” followed by, “GIVE ME THE FLUIDS!” because she knew she needed fluid in her IV before she could get an epidural. As the fluids went in, she stared at that bag of IV fluid like it held the potion for eternal life! We kept asking mama if she had to push and she kept saying no, even though it looked like she definitely had to. Oh I definitely had to. It was in the tub that I realized it was time to push…I literally could feel you coming out but I was terrified. At this point there were no logical thoughts. I knew it was time, I knew you were coming out and I still begged for medicine.

When she walked back to the bed, I could tell she was squeezing every muscle in her body trying to keep you in, so I was massaging her, trying to get her to relax and let you come. She still said she didn’t have to push! I was literally clinching my butt together as Auntie Bear was massaging it trying to get me to relax. All the while in my head I am straight cussing her out, I can’t relax crazy if I do she’s gonna fall out LOL. She was so focused on getting relief she didn’t realize she could have pushed you out and been done with everything right then! A mean man came in to do the epidural and made mama sit still. He was pretty rude and I whispered, “He just doesn’t understand!” Hell no he didn’t understand, this fool actually asked if I could stop moving and acted like what I was doing was no big deal, he also almost got choked out.  while mama was holding on to me. She later told me that’s when she knew I wasn’t disappointed in her for getting an epidural. Then, we waited awhile, but her epidural didn’t even help! So I called the nurse so she could get more medicine, and mama really knew we were on the same team again :)

Mama finally got to rest for a bit. I was so sure you were almost here that I lifted the covers to make sure you weren’t halfway in the bed! Tara said she’d come back in an hour or two to check on mama’s progress. Mama was pretty bummed because she didn’t realize she was going to have to wait even longer to meet you. I remember wanting to cry at this point, I knew you were ready to come right then, I had been holding you in for an hour. When Tara asked to check me I said no because I knew if she looked, she would see your head coming out, but at that point I needed some relief. I had gotten to ten centimeters with no medicine and I was exhausted. After about an hour, she sat up, bright-eyed and ready to push! She told us she had to push all along, but was so freaked out she just squeezed you in! I couldn’t believe it! Well, I could, because she LOOKED like she was ready to push you out, I just couldn’t believe she had a meltdown at the end. But hey, labor is quite a trip!

Thank goodness she confessed though, because we all got a really good laugh and mama was in a great mood for meeting you! I literally apologized to Tara my midwife when she walked back into the room to have me push. “Tara, I have a confession, this baby has been ready, I could have pushed two hours ago…I’m sorry my mind failed me and all rational thought disappeared somewhere.”

After 13 hours of labor, and a whole lot of tomfoolery, shenanigans, and bamboozlement, she pushed for 25 minutes while Daddy stood by her side and we all cheered her on. Then the most amazing thing happened:  At 6:25 in the morning on October 15th, 2014, YOU ARRIVED! It was such a beautiful moment. One of the greatest moments of my life. All of the preparation, anticipation and waiting finally came to an end with your glorious entrance. You were absolutely perfect, sweet girl… All 8lbs 5oz and 21 inches of you! You snuggled with Mama and started eating like a champ! Then your Daddy got to hold you close (and show off his muscles at the same time!) DC, the world is a better place now that you are here. I can’t wait to see who you become; you’ve already made such a difference in our lives. But don’t worry my love, we won’t rush you… time flies.