“I think that even if you want to change something about yourself, you should still love yourself every step of the way. No matter what it feels like, size doesn’t define you or make you any less beautiful. “
“Please don’t talk to me about your diet, diet culture is not good for me.”
“If you continue to make comments about my body, I’m going to walk away.”
“I know you’re trying to be helpful, but hearing about your diet tips is not good for me. I am stating a boundary.”
“I know you meant it as a compliment, but please don’t focus on my body so much. It makes me feel self-conscious.”
“Please don’t make comments about what I eat. It makes me feel extremely self-conscious. If you continue to do this, I will not have meals with you in the future.”
“You’re not my therapist/doctor/nutritionist, so your advice is not relevant or helpful to me.”
I might post more as they come to me. Feel free to use these freely and don’t worry about offending others. Your health is your priority!
I just reread The Silence of the Lambs again (creepy, as always) and noticed that the victims Buffalo Bill took weigh the same amount as I do. They made a point in the book to emphasize how large the girls were, how broad and ample and, yes, fat.
First of all, that’s hilarious that in the 80′s people like me were described as “junoesque” and “big girls” because I am objectively fairly slim by today’s standards and views on the body,
but also it’s a testament to that fact that recovery works because I realized that the girls described as fat in this book being the same size as me did not trigger any of my old ED thoughts, just mild amusement and surprise.
It’s incredibly dehumanizing and distasteful the way news stations will overlay stories about obesity rates or whatever with stock footage of fat people with their heads out of frame. It’s clear they cut off faces so they didn’t have to get consent by the people being recorded,
could you imagine just walking around town or enjoying a meal outside and then seeing your headless (identityless?) body on the news?
the girl who picks outfits based on how much of her body hair she feels like being hyperaware of that day. who grew up feeling pressured to shave her arms & legs, wax her sideburns & upper lip, pluck her brows -
the one with broad shoulders, a wide ribcage, “overly developed” muscles, narrow hips & smaller curves -
the woman of color who’s been masculinized for her darker skin, sharp jaw & strong nose -
LOOK AT ME. ____
you’re perfect. i promise.
if you move through the world thinking of yourself as a feminine person, you are feminine. period.
whether or not it’s an everyday thing & regardless of if you choose to express it outwardly or visually. the way your body looks has nothing to do with it.
conventionality is boring & deeply flawed. take names, kick ass. if anyone tries to fight you - me, my noodle arms & fear of confrontation will square up too.
