(Handmade Soft Toy inspired by the character created by L. T. Meade and Robert Eustace & beautifully portrayed by John Fraser in the television series The Rivals of Sherlock Holmes)
Murderbait: Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! *dies*
Murderer: *is unseen*
CREDITS!
Main detective: *sits sad and alone in their barren life*
Pathologist: I have unlikely details for this death.
Main detective: I SMELL MURDER. I will solve this murder because of my sad past and my dead wife/child/cat/former sergeant/parent. The fact that solving this murder is my job has no bearing on my decision to solve this murder.
DCI: THIS IS CASE IS NOT MURDER. NOW OPEN THIS GARDEN CENTRE.
Main detective: THIS GARDEN CENTRE IS THE KEY TO THE MURDER.
Tortured Sergeant: I am unsure but over-educated.
DCI: You are both ridiculous smh fml why am i in charge of you
Main detective: THIS UNLIKELY SEEMING CLUE IS THE KEY TO THE MURDER
Tortured Sergeant: I am flirting with this third person to further the investigation.
Person: *dies*
Tortured Sergeant: I am more tortured than before!
Main detective: I WILL SOLVE THIS NEW MURDER. AND THE OLD MURDER. AND ALL THE OTHER MURDERS. MURDERS ARE MY JOB but not that way.
DCI: This might now be murder but i still hate you both. Out of sheer spite i am suspending you both from the case and handing it over to this peon, your incompetent arch-nemesis. I am great at police-work.
Main detective: …fuck that.
Tortured Sergeant: *broods*
Main detective: Come, tortured sergeant, we have a murder to solve!
Tortured Sergeant: *brooding intensifies*
Main detective: THIS PERSON IS THE KEY TO THE MURDER!
DCI: Oh fuck everything.
Pathologist: This new information changes everything. Also maybe I should have noticed it earlier. My bad lol.
Main detective: OH MY GOD THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.
Main detective: I will go and investigate this by myself without back up. That’s a SUPER idea. There is literally no way that this can go wrong.
Murderer: hi
Main detective: CURSES.
Tortured sergeant: *broods*
Main detective: little help please?
Tortured Sergeant: HOLY SHIT THE MURDERER.
Murderer: I did not factor getting caught into my schemes. Alas. I am foiled.
Main detective: You’re booked, mate.
DCI: that should not have worked out well. the paperwork is all yours. also, i still hate you.
“Endeavour” is one of the best source materials for fanfic because you have a whole bunch of damaged, goodhearted people who care about each other far more than they’re able to express except through awkward looks and occasional acts of heroism or practical help, and then you need to read or write stories in which they actually use their words and also hug each other.
While watching you just need to keep remembering that they are always telling each other they love each other through things like “take as much time as you need” and “get that down you” and “you’d better return this shirt (I’m lending you) clean and pressed” and “catch whoever did this, Morse, do it for me” and “we’re city men, first and last” and “I chose you” and “you’re saving the world” and “corned beef” and reckless acts of protectiveness all round, and it’s all the kind of emotional repression that I have no energy to deal with in real life but onscreen it’s absolutely delicious.
The Quick Spirit In Your Eye, a Magical Realism Jarse AU
Upon his first meeting with DI Fred Thursday – when Superintendent Bright had introduced him as the former’s new bagman – Peter Jakes had simply put him down as an old bachelor, the kind of man who had simply never liked a woman enough or been liked by a woman enough to get married. And then they had their first case involving magic. But even after learning the truth, he couldn’t have imagined what, or rather who, it would lead him to…
