#bucky barnes x i
Prompt: The reader has been busy and stressed and decides to blow off steam an extra hour after the week comes to a close. Reader over does it but doesn’t take care of herself, leaving Bucky worried.
One shot
Paring: Bucky Barnes x reader
Warnings: Indication of body issues and eating problems
I open the fridge looking for anything that seems appealing. The cloud of fog thickens in my head and my eyelids are heavy. I’m starting to realize my extra time at the gym this morning may have been a mistake. The second mistake is living with a bunch of guys who never have food in the refrigerator.
I grab the contents to make a sandwich and make my way over to the counter. Scratch that, I’m making myself two. I’m not sure what I am putting on the sandwich, as long as it ends up in my stomach who cares.
“Hey doll,” Bucky walks over and kisses my temple from behind.
We’ve been dating for a few months but Steve introduced us years ago. He has been very slow to warm up, but hopefully he knows I’m not going anywhere. When we first met it was almost comical. He barely said a word and hardly looked into my direction. He later admitted that he was afraid of scaring me or hurting me somehow. So he kept his distance, up until we all came back from the blip and Steve left us.
“Sweetheart, you look a little pale.” He comes to the other side of the counter and gets a better look at my face. “Are you feeling okay?”
I feel my energy depleting by the second, but I respond with a nod. If I look this worn out, I couldn’t image how I would sound. I just need to get some food in me and I hope that is enough. Maybe a nap, a nap sounds amazing right now too.
Bucky’s gaze lingers on me for a moment more before leaving my peripheral vision. I hear cabinets open and Bucky wrestling around with crinkling bags. Next, he moves onto the refrigerator. He grabs some of the things I am no longer using and returns them to their spot, and I hear him grab something else as well.
Bucky appears besides me once more and arranges a plate of food. He places a little pile of grapes, along with a thick slice of watermelon. Two hands grab at the sandwiches before me and places them on the plate of fruit.
Before I can even look up at him in protest, Bucky lightly takes his hand in mine and leads me to the couch in the next room. His head nods for me to sit down and I oblige. Bucky places the plate of food on my lap and takes a seat next to me. I knit my eyebrows in confusion but his face gives nothing away. His beautiful eyes flicker to my food and back to my face.
“Okay fine.” I say with a smirk before popping a grape in my mouth. He seems pleased as his posture becomes more relaxed. His fingers twirl some hair hanging from my ponytail and I can feel him silently urging me to eat some more.
“Buck I’m okay.” I plead, but truth is I’m too tired to really convince him.
A few months ago, I had more time to workout and I did. I spent as much time as I did today in the gym 5 days a week. Most of the day following I was pretty tired. I remember going through two or three cups of coffee a day to make it to bedtime. And suddenly it clicks.
“You don’t look okay,” Bucky whispers.
His eyes flicker to mine and I see some of the worry he keeps hidden. I take a bite out of a sandwich. The surge of energy waves through my body almost instantly. I know it isn’t taking effect yet, but if I feel this great already then it is a start. I figured out recently I wasn’t eating enough back then. I felt like I was sleepwalking through the day. I never told anyone because I didn’t want them to worry, I scaled back on my workouts, and made sure I was eating enough for what I was doing. Maybe I wasn’t the only one who noticed I wasn’t eating enough.
I finish eating my plate a lot faster than I anticipated. The dried sweat clings to my skin and clothes to my back. Quickly I excuse myself and run to a shower.
The warmth of the water feels good against my skin. In true girl fashion I grab my shampoo bottle and begin singing along with the tune playing off my phone. The shower is my stage and the sound of the water mimic my cheering fans in the audience. Sam has complained a lot about me using all the hot water. I told him that the show must go on.
Only this time the show may need to be cut short. The music seems to be coming from a distance and my eyes are beginning to feel really heavy. I lean my body against the cold shower wall and find a little comfort in it. The peace only lasts a moment as my body heat replaces it.
On instinct I get out of the shower and grab a towel. I take a seat on the floor and place my head in between my knees the best I can. Taking deep breaths, I find the world come back into view, enough to get myself from the floor and into my bedroom.
I grab the closest things resembling clothes that I can find as the world begins to shift again. Struggling to put them on, I stay on the ground as I decide it is good enough. Closing my eyes, I tell myself I will only stay here for a few minutes and then I’ll go get coffee.
I allow my body to lay a few minutes more after I start to feel better. Letting it soak up as much strength as it can to get me into the kitchen, and hopefully without running into anyone in particular. Except I am not that lucky.
Bucky rounds the corner of my door frame and I nearly knock into him. It takes more strength than I’d like to spare to catch myself and stay balanced. Thankfully there is no spinning, just overwhelming exhaustion. But the next thing I know, my feet are no longer on the ground and two arms cradle me into a toned chest. They set me on my bed and find a nearby blanket to wrap around me.
He doesn’t say anything before he leaves. Bucky doesn’t say a thing and leaves me alone in my bedroom with the door open. If it wasn’t for being so tired, and my bed being comfy, I would have followed him. I would have tried to convince him that I was okay and ask he joined me for another morning snack.
Guilt begins to make its home in the pit of my stomach. Bucky cares so much about me and I can barely take care of myself. It’s selfish, I shouldn’t be worrying him. It is not like I am trying to do this. It was a mistake; one I’ve made before but hasn’t taken this much of a toll on me before. The best way I could describe it is feeling like a stale cookie that has not slept in a week. Well, I guess if cookies slept that would make more sense.
I hear his footsteps down the hall from my door. Maybe he’ll yell at me. That would be better than the silent treatment. At least I would know exactly how he is feeling instead of having to guess.
Bucky enters the room with a tray of food and an unreadable expression upon his features. Great, this will be fun. He carefully places the tray next to me and takes a seat near my feet. I sit up a bit and see that the tray is filled with all of my favorites. Not really caring which one I want first, I grab a random item and start to devour it.
“The last time you looked this pale was months ago.” Bucky breaks me out of my thoughts. I can see him trying to decide if he wants to continue. “I’m worried about you. You started acting like you again once you stopped working out so much. Your eating never changed but you had more energy.”
“Bucky I am eating, see.” I take another bite of the sandwich. Please, I just need him to see that I am okay.
“It isn’t enough.” Bucky sighs and soothingly rubs my feet through the blanket. “If you keep doing this, you’ll have to eat all the time until maybe the afternoon, maybe. I know you and you won’t do that. It will slow you down.”
We sit in silence as I continue to eat. Bucky moves his hands to my calves next and I can feel more of my muscles loosen. His eyes seem far away in thought, not like earlier when he watched me eat. I wonder what he is thinking. I understand that not eating enough is dangerous, but I can’t help but feel like I am eating too much when I do. It has been a constant struggle since I was a teenager, and for the most part I felt like I was doing an okay job up until recently.
I try to imagine what it would be like if the roles were reversed. If I was the one having to beg him to eat enough, or to stop working out quite as much. I paint the picture of us sitting on his bed while I massaged out his muscles while I make him eat a plethora of foods. Seeing him on the ground because he is too exhausted to even crawl to his bed or for help.
“I’m sorry,” my voice comes out course and small. I can sense tears not too far behind.
“I know, doll.” Bucky gives me a little smile and his dazzling eyes find my own.
I finish all the food on the tray and set it to the floor beside the bed. Bucky comes up beside me and helps us both slip in under the covers. I cuddle into his chest and his warm arms engulf me to him. Forever safe in his embrace and it reminds me of things I already knew but needed to be reminded of. Bucky is the best man I could ever ask for… and I need to try to do better, not just for him but for myself too.
Won’t Stop
You are the newest recruit for the Avengers. Your room is right next to the Winter Soldier, and since being here you are awaken by the sound of Bucky restless after his nightmares. One night you decide to go in to check if he’s okay, and your relationship transforms in a way you never thought possible.
Part 9
Original Prompt: You are the newest recruit for the Avengers. Your room is right next to the Winter Soldier, and since being here you are awaken by the sound of Bucky restless after his nightmares. One night you decide to go in to check if he’s okay, and your relationship transforms in a way you never thought possible.
Part:9/9
Author’s Note: Okay dang… so it was three years ago when I first started this. My first ever fanfiction, and series. I started writing this cause I was in a very low point in my life and needed to let these feelings all out with a nice silver lining, which is where Bucky comes in. It really helped and I loved the support and requests I have gotten along the way. You guys helped me pull out of it, unfortunately I wasn’t in the same headspace to continue with this story. I hope you all believe me when I say I have truly been working on a way to finish this for the last few years. I wish it didn’t take this long and I am thankful for all of you that are willing to see how this ends. I hope you enjoy it! I love you guys :) <3
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8
Your Pov
Maybe if I can get Steve to… no I can’t send Steve down there. They will be expecting it, especially since he knows the layout. Any scenario I can think of plays a loop in my head, leading on a massive headache. Leaning onto the cool table I press my forehead against to alleviate the pain.
Tears build up in my eyes as exhaustion and frustration course through my veins. How am I supposed to figure this out if I can’t stop crying? Every time I hit a block, which is often now, a wave of overwhelming despair sinks me to my knees. Warm salty tears fall down my cheeks as I meet the hard tile floor. A burning sob rips in my throat but I fight against it. If I don’t let it out then I can push it in, maintain control faster.
“(Y/N)?” A gentle and concerned voice steps next to me. A hesitant arm winds around my shoulder pulling me into a slightly muscular chest. Tony. “We’ll get him.”
I try to speak but the sob erupts from deep inside and swallows me whole. Complete cold darkness fills my veins. His words feel like lies, but I can’t afford to think like that. Tony is right. We’ll find him. I Just hope that when we do, it won’t be too late.
“He is strong (Y/N). You helped him before.” Tony’s voice is powerful over my sobs. He strokes a comforting hand through my hair. Being closer to people has gotten easier. “You’ll help him again.”
We stay in silence, exempting my sobs. Tony just holds me together as I threaten to break at the seams. More scenarios run through my head but I can’t think of anything I haven’t thought of before. There has to be something else. There just has to be, otherwise I don’t know if I could survive truly losing him. Even if I keep breathing, a big part of me will be dead and only Bucky could resurrect me back to life.
“I wish I took Natasha instead of Barnes.” Tony mummers, not thinking I could hear him. That is when inspiration strikes.
***
“If we get in close enough Natasha can infiltrate without being detected.” You continue your pitch. “She can take them down from the inside allowing us to get in and save Bucky. I’ll also need Clint and Thor. I’m sorry Steve and Tony but they would expect you two. That’s why I’m not going in either.”
The team looks at each other in confusion. They all agreed to my plan but I suppose they believed I would go in too. I knew they would fight with me on going so that’s why I am staying on the quinjet, not that they know that either.
“I gotta say kid,” Tony steps forward. “I thought I was gonna have to pass on your plan but you did good work.”
“Bucky would be proud (Y/N).” Steve interjects.
A surge of gratitude flows through me as I walk over and hug them both. Since getting back I have been tough to be around, I’m not going to lie. I’ve been working on being close to people again and even though my stomach turns, I do not pull away.
“Alright, let’s suit up.”
Bucky’s Pov
Loosing track of time in a place like this is easy. I won’t stop. I won’t stop protecting you, and I won’t stop loving you. There are no windows to tell if it’s day or night, random tests that leave one tired and disoriented. But for Bucky there are the added nightmares.
Screaming, he jolts from the ground ready to fight. The nightmares have grown increasingly worse as time continues on. Good memories turned into nightmares of him killing everyone he loves, and they fill is conscious as he remembers his latest dream.
Dreams of being around (Y/N) snuggled together on the couch, or her showing him new foods blindfolded. Any dream that is remotely good is turned into his worst nightmare. I won’t stop. I won’t stop protecting you, and I won’t stop loving you. The only thing he has left to cling to is the fact that he knows (Y/N) is safe at the compound surrounded by her family. It was so easy to offer himself up to replace her in their experiments. Bucky loves her too much to even think about her returning to this hell hole, and he knew she would be safe with the team.
“Get up.” Someone from outside commands.
Too tired to fight anymore, Bucky does as he is told and heads toward the door. The locks systematically unlock creating a clicking pattern, almost like a song. Coming face-to-face with a guard Bucky expects him to turn around and direct him toward the next torture chamber with his name written all over it.
“Now don’t tell me the untamable mustang is broken.” A friendly female voice jokes beside him. “Don’t let (Y/N) see that.”
Nat. Bucky recognizes her in an instant. She always talks to him like she has a permanent smirk tattooed on her face. Knowing something is about to go down he centers his mind. He is not about to let any distractions keep him from escaping. I won’t stop. I won’t stop protecting you, and I won’t stop loving you.
Your Pov
“I thought you were staying at the compound.” Clint raises his brow.
“God Clint, you really have the dad stare down to a T.” I try to lighten the mood with no success. Huffing I roll my eyes. “Did you really think I was going to wait another minute to see him?”
Pleased with my answer, Clint walks to the other side of the quinjet to keep Thor occupied. I figured that by now the rest of the team would have pieced together where I am. Honestly, who could believe that I was just going to sit around for him to come home? He would be doing the exact same thing for me. Hell, he switched places with me!
We land in no time, the boys take their positions like we discussed and wait for Nat to come with Bucky behind her. My plan will work, it has to work because I need it to. I don’t know what version of Bucky will be coming home with us but he’s still my Bucky. I am willing to do whatever it takes to get him back.
A thunder of bullets invade my senses as Natasha comes into sight. Fear strikes my heart as I wait in anticipation for Bucky. Suddenly there is a cry out and Natasha’s frame falls to the ground. Immediately Clint is out there trying to get to her but someone one else researches her first.
Bucky swoops down and picks Natasha up with one arm and cradles her body to his chest. My legs start to wobble and I grip onto a panel to keep myself up right. Tears flood down my cheeks as I take in the sight of him. I can’t believe it is actually Bucky, I have been prepared for my plan to fail but I haven’t prepared myself for it to work. I’m bringing Bucky home!
“Nat, we are going to get you home and patch you right up.” Clint’s voice waivers slightly. “You hear me?”
They lay her down in the middle of the quinjet, but I cannot move. My body wills me over to clean her wound but my mind is trained on Bucky. As if on cue he finally looks up at me. He gives me a perplexed look, like he is trying to decide if I am real or a figment of his imagination. I shiver at the thought of all the horrible things Hydra did to him while in there. Should I walk over to him? Can I touch him? Kiss him?
A fire ignites in my chest as I walk in a painful slow motion. All I want to do is run into his arms, his safe-warm arms and kiss him. Late at night I would envision various scenarios about being together after we save him. Some where we wouldn’t leave each other’s rooms for days and just hold each other. Others where we would cry constantly at the harsh realities that Hydra forced upon us both.
Bucky’s expression falls into furrowed borrows and a frown. I stop in my tracks and assess what I should do. Should I wait for him to come to me? I can’t imagine why he is looking at me like this.
“It’s me Bucky, (Y/N).” I say loud enough for only him to hear. “It is really me.”
Bucky doesn’t say anything. He barely reacts. Pondering for a few moments more, Bucky finally takes a step toward me. I let him take the lead and stay in my spot, my heart racing with anticipation. His body is only mere inches away from my own. Blue orbs circle around me, drinking me in. Every few seconds his hand will twitch, gaining the courage to touch me.
Eventually his soft fingers graze against my shoulder. His touch sends an electrifying pulse through my core. I take a deep breath to calm my nerves and the urge to wrap my body around his. Bucky gets a little more brave and cups my cheek in the palm of his hand. Our eyes gaze into the others and I can see his defense start to melt. Whatever lies they have been feeding him are ripping from the seams. He is deciding what to believe.
His hand leaves your cheek leaving the skin cold to the air around it. But before I could miss it, Bucky’s arms wrap around my waist as I am pull into his embrace. His chest rests against my own as he sags into my hold. The remaining part of his energy is depleting and so is the rest of his resolve. Bucky hides his face in the crook of my neck, and I begin to feel the light kiss of his fallen tears escaping from his beautiful eyes.
My grip on him tightens as I feel a few stray tears fall against my cheeks. Warmth, joy, and electricity erupt in my chest. The realization is finally starting to hit me, I have my Bucky back. The only man I have ever truly loved that loves me back with the same fiery intensity.
“I won’t stop.” Bucky’s muffled voice vibrates against my skin. “I won’t stop protecting you, and I…”
Bucky’s words choke against the side of my throat. Tears of my own impede my vision as I keep my sobs at bay. They are last words he spoke to me on the worst day of my life. His promise, which became my promise.
“I won’t stop loving you.” I finish for him.
A Year Later: Your POV
Nerves run down the sides of my limbs down to my fingers and toes. Pacing back-and-forth, I think of all the things in my life that have lead me up to this moment. My father who abused me in more ways than one, my aunt who kicked me to the streets, Steve who found me, and meeting Bucky. The love of my life. It has been a year since I got him back from Hydra, half a month before that Bucky switched places with me, and a month before that I was taken by Hydra. It all feels so long ago, but like it was yesterday as well.
“(Y/N),” Nat’s voice breaks me out of my trance. “They are ready for you.”
I nervously swallow as I offer a nod. With a reassuring smile she turns around toward the door and I follow her lead. Memories of my time with Hydra flood my mind and it is almost overwhelming. I won’t stop. I won’t stop protecting you, and I won’t stop loving you. I repeat Bucky’s mantra. He later explained that he repeated those words to himself when being in that cell became too much. As a reminder of why he is there, his promise.
Descending the stairs I am careful not to trip down them. Nothing is easy when in these heals, but they complete the ensemble. According to Wanda this aspect is very important, I’m sure it is, but I feel like to me there is something else significantly more important.
I see Wanda a few paces ahead of me. She gives me a goofy wink as the excitement bursts off of her body. A soft giggle dances in my throat that I allow to escape. It is a good day, the perfect day.
“Are you ready?” Tony’s deep voice lures me to his attention. “If not we could always duck out of here. No one would ever have to know. Though I’d probably feel a little bad. He did ask my permission after all. But again only a little.”
I hit my hip against his in a joking manner that grants me a laugh from him. Wrapping my arm around his I take a deep breath trying to calm what is left of my nerves. Tony knows there is no where else in the universe I’d rather be than right here… or well perhaps a few yards from here.
Suddenly the music changes indicating that it is my turn. The traditional “Here Comes the Bride” floods the room from a secluded piano. Bucky requested it, still old school at heart. The church doors open wide indicating your presence. Tony and I walk through the doors to the beat of the song. I find familiar faces in the crowd of people taking in the site of me in a wedding dress. The one dress I will ever allow myself to wear.
My eyes cling to the family I have found at the Avenger compound. The people who always have my back. Rounding the corner I am found face-to-face with him, Bucky. My Bucky. I won’t stop. I won’t stop protecting you, and I won’t stop loving you. He stands at the end of the isle in a black tuxedo. His hair slightly shorter than how he usually wears it. The biggest smile with tear streaked eyes marveling as I continue toward him.
The floor beneath my feet is gone. I’m floating, gliding toward him. Toward my forever. Every last nerve or fear of self-doubt has fled since the moment I laid eyes on him. My grip on Tony’s arm lightens and air fills my lungs. A bone tearing smile rips across my face and I’ve never felt so much happiness in my life. Maybe that’s why I had to go through so much pain and suffering. So I could fully and confidently one day experience this day.
Standing before me is Bucky, my soon to be husband. Tony guides my hand to Bucky’s who swiftly accept it in his. Being this close allows me to see the how incandescently happy he is and I silently pray that we have a forever of this.
“We are gathered here today to celebrate the love of Bucky Barnes and (Y/N) (L/N).” Steve’s voice rings out to the crowd. “I’ve known Bucky for quite some time. Every girl he met had a thing for him, but the only one that ever caught his eye is (Y/N).”
Bucky’s hand lightly squeezes mine. I sneak a glance at him and find that his radiant smile is still shinning across his face.
“Though the hardest parts of their lives they found comfort in each other which brings us here today to their wedding.” Steve looks first at Bucky with pride gleaming from his eyes. Looking to me I see some tears building up as he looks at me like his little sister. “Bucky repeat after me, I-“
“I Bucky Barnes.” He interrupts Steve and turns toward me. My eyes become lost in his. No one else exists, “take you (Y/N) (L/N), to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for rich or poor, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do we part.” Bucky takes my other hand with his metal one. “I won’t stop. I won’t stop protecting you, and I won’t stop loving you.”
My trance continues as I stare deeply into his dark eyes. I don’t hear Steve begin my part of the vows for me to repeat. All I can see, feel, and hear is Bucky. Everything else is white noise, lost. Taking a deep breath I say the vows like I’ve imagined saying to this man the moment I fell in love with him.
“I, (Y/N) (L/N).” My voice slightly wavers as the overfilling joy takes over my senses. Bucky squeezes my hands once again and I am centered. “Take you Bucky Barnes, to be me husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for rich or poor, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do we part.” Taking a deep breath I continue the last bit. “I won’t stop. I won’t stop protecting you, and I won’t stop loving you.”
And you never did stop…. THE END
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