➳a/n:this chapter just makes me squeal. WE ALSO FIND OUT THE TWINS NAMES. i gave them so much thought, and i felt like the two i chose were utterly sweet . enjoy! :) also domestic Bucky is my favorite Bucky.
➳summary: When you experience the most intense night of the summer alongside Bucky, who you nickname Steel Blue, you weren’t expecting to fall pregnant. When a positive pregnancy test meets your eyes a few days before school starts, you know it belongs to the man who you’d never see again. Until you walk into your Romanian Linguistics class and he’s your professor.
➳pairing: Professor!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
➳warnings:unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, slight age-gap, smut throughout book, angst
➳ dedicated to my beautiful best friend pitifulbaby
As the month continued to pass by, you were now settled into October.Midterms were up, you were slowly preparing for the babies’ arrival in February, Millie was helping you with nursery themes, and somehow Bucky and Nikki became best friends despite being polar opposites of each other.
➳a/n:this chapter just makes me squeal. WE ALSO FIND OUT THE TWINS NAMES. i gave them so much thought, and i felt like the two i chose were utterly sweet . enjoy! :) also domestic Bucky is my favorite Bucky.
➳summary: When you experience the most intense night of the summer alongside Bucky, who you nickname Steel Blue, you weren’t expecting to fall pregnant. When a positive pregnancy test meets your eyes a few days before school starts, you know it belongs to the man who you’d never see again. Until you walk into your Romanian Linguistics class and he’s your professor.
➳pairing: Professor!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
➳warnings:unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, slight age-gap, smut throughout book, angst
➳ dedicated to my beautiful best friend pitifulbaby
As the month continued to pass by, you were now settled into October.Midterms were up, you were slowly preparing for the babies’ arrival in February, Millie was helping you with nursery themes, and somehow Bucky and Nikki became best friends despite being polar opposites of each other.
➳a/n:this chapter just makes me squeal. WE ALSO FIND OUT THE TWINS NAMES. i gave them so much thought, and i felt like the two i chose were utterly sweet . enjoy! :) also domestic Bucky is my favorite Bucky.
➳summary: When you experience the most intense night of the summer alongside Bucky, who you nickname Steel Blue, you weren’t expecting to fall pregnant. When a positive pregnancy test meets your eyes a few days before school starts, you know it belongs to the man who you’d never see again. Until you walk into your Romanian Linguistics class and he’s your professor.
➳pairing: Professor!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
➳warnings:unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, slight age-gap, smut throughout book, angst
➳ dedicated to my beautiful best friend pitifulbaby
As the month continued to pass by, you were now settled into October.Midterms were up, you were slowly preparing for the babies’ arrival in February, Millie was helping you with nursery themes, and somehow Bucky and Nikki became best friends despite being polar opposites of each other.
Opting for baggier clothes to at least try and seclude your growing bump, it was getting harder. Students were beginning to stop and stare, Bucky consciously paying attention to the room’s shifting. He would give you gentle gazes and darling smiles to help push you through to the end of each lecture before he’d finally wrap his arms around you when the classroom had emptied.
“Alright, remember! Our midterm is on Wednesday.As long as you answer the questions in the study guide and practice, all of you will be fine. Don’t hesitate to ask any questions, either. I’m here to watch you succeed.”Bucky informed the students as everyone began to pack up their belongings.
Once the room had cleared except for Millie who was checking her phone, she turned her eyes over to you. “Nikki’s waiting for me out front. Have fun house-searching!” She exclaimed. She lowered her head to press a quick kiss to your belly before hitting Bucky on the arm and leaving.
He greeted you with a wide grin, those gorgeous steel-blue eyes casting into yours. “Come here, mama,” He said, walking forward to wrap his hands through yours. You erupted into a quiet giggle as Bucky pulled you close, your bump pressing to his well-defined abdomen. He sighed, reaching his hands forward to wrap around your stomach.
“Not going to lie, I miss being able to hold you close,” He chuckled, making you smile.
“Well,your children are wreaking havoc in the womb right now. I swear one of them is bouncing on my bladder,” You sighed heavily. “And hey! We can still touch… I’m not that big yet.” You growled, earning Bucky to smile, and leaned forward to peck your lips.
“I know, I know… I’m just teasing. Are you ready to go look at these houses? The realtor just texted me.” He questioned.
Your heart flooded with warmth. “I can’t believe this… We’re actually getting our own house together.” You breathed out, gently biting at the skin on your lip. Bucky hugged you as close as he could.
“It’s surreal, I know… But I can’t wait to start this journey with you.” He whispered, kissing your ear. “And just think… Whatever house we do decide on? I’ll get to have sex with you in every single room, just to break it in and really make it ours.”
“Bucky!” You exclaimed, swatting his shoulder. “It only took one night in a hotel to make this happen… Be careful.” You reminded him, eyes narrowed.
Bucky beamed with another laugh before grabbing his keys off the desk and leading you out of the classroom. As you two walked down the halls and hopped on the elevator to take you to the bottom floor, you leaned your head on his shoulder. Life had become so much different since Sharon disappeared.
The last you saw of her, she was being handcuffed and thrown into the back of a cop car while Millie was essentially let off the hook for beating Sharon to a bloody pulp with a baseball bat. Your and Bucky’s relationship only seemed to strengthen and it gave you both ample time to focus on one another plus the idea that you would be parents sooner rather than later.
The car ride to the first house was filled with you and Bucky exchanging words back and forth about what you were both looking for in homes; family homes. When you arrived to the first listing, your eyes widened. It was beautiful.A two story brick home with a fenced in backyard. Flowers dotted the outside area with a well-manicured lawn, bringing you to gasp.
“Wow, this is stunning,”Bucky admitted with a smile, wrapping his hand through yours. The two of you exited the car and were greeted by the realtor, a friendly woman by the name of Denise. She grinned at the two of you, a folder in hand with some of the property’s biggest hits.
“Bucky, Y/N! What a pleasure to see you both,” Denise grinned as she shook both your hands before her eyes settled on your swollen belly. “Wow, I think you’ve grown since I saw you last week!” She exclaimed, bringing you to smile sheepishly.
As she led you inside, your eyes were captivated by the large front entryway. It was decked with cherrywood floors and the space was huge.
“This home is four bedrooms and two baths… It also has a fenced-in swimming pool in the back. Bucky, since you’re a professor, there is also an in-home office for you.” She explained. You could hardly listen, your excitement was bubbling when you walked into the spacious kitchen that looked out into the living room. The bar was set up with a huge chandelier hanging overhead, the countertops were a fine marble. The color scheme was simplistic, but with pops of color being introduced on the cabinet doors. There was a huge pantry with a sliding barndoor that you were obsessed with, Bucky quickly noticing how you gravitated.
Bucky fell in love with the in-home office. He could already see himself settling in and getting classwork done or maybe he visualized you seated on his lap for a round of fun while he sent his stressors away. He could envision house parties here with Steve, Sam, Millie, and Nikki. He saw the potential in the home and already, this was both of your favorites on the list.
The bedrooms were huge, with a grand master easily decided to be your and Bucky’s if you opted for this home. The bathroom seemed even bigger with a tub big enough to fix three. His and hers vanities were colored in a dark grey paint with marble countertops that had flicks of silver.
Another room was seen, this one quickly being envisioned to be the twins’ nursery. You could already see you and Bucky painting the walls different colors and theming it to whatever you had come up with. Tears welled in your eyes as you passed throughout the other areas until you were finally taken onto the balcony that was attached to the master bedroom. Large french doors opened up to a well-manicured backyard with a swimming pool in the very center that was fenced around with a slide attached.
“I can already see myself having coffee out here every morning,” You whispered, hanging onto the railing of the balcony. Bucky smiled, leaning forward to kiss your cheek as he wrapped an arm around you. Denise had left the two of you alone to explore the home for yourselves after she listed the other pros such as the best school in the district wasn’t but two miles away. Recreational activities for the kids were on every corner, along with it being in close proximity to the college for Bucky.
“Doll, I’m already in love with it, and this was only the first house.” Bucky laughed, kissing your neck as he wrapped his arms around your waist. He rested his two large palms on your belly and gave it a subtle stroke, feeling light taps of feet kicking against his hands. “And I think the twins agree.” He added with a gentle, heartfelt smile.
Giggling quietly, you couldn’t believe this was happening.
“Let’s check out the pool then head to the next one?” You suggested, Bucky agreeing. When you made it down to the backyard and you saw how large it was upon stepping out of the two french doors leading toward it, you had to cover your mouth to withhold the threatening gasps. Denise already knew that sound meant you were hooked.
“Should I even show you two the other three homes?” She laughed, bringing you and Bucky to share a look.
“I think it’s a good idea, yeah,” Bucky answered. “Just so we know.Right, Doll?”
“LOOK AT THE SWING! THEY HAVE A BACKYARD SWING!” You exclaimed from somewhere out in the open. Bucky’s eyes lifted when he saw you seated on the wooden swing, kicking your legs back and forth as you giggled like a teenager. Bucky broke out into a wide grin.
When Denise showed you two the other three homes, immediately none of them compared to the one with the pool and in-home office. As the day drew to a close, Denise was already preparing an offer on the first home.
“Decision has been made? The two-story home on Carter Avenue?” She asked for clarification. You and Bucky held each other’s hand, both of you grinning from ear to ear.
“That’s the one,” You smiled, already seeing yourself in the future. You envisioned the pitter-patter of toddler feet racing down the halls while you and Bucky chased in behind them, until they would turn into elementary, then middle, even high school teenagers. It swelled your heart and made your world spin quickly, causing you to leane further into Bucky for support.
“Alright, let’s get an offer together and I’ll send it over to the owners.” She smiled in satisfaction.
As you both left with your hopes lifted that this very house would be yours soon, Bucky and you sat in the car for a few moments of sweet silence. You both looked up at the home, your smile erupting.
“I can’t believe this… We’re actually looking to buy a house together.” You expressed with a bright smile. Bucky laughed, reaching a hand over to wrap it around your thigh.
“I know… I can’t wait to do this with you,” He said, his eyes casting into yours. You slowly turned your head to face him, not helping but to lean over the best you could in order to give him a kiss.
You felt a few more kicks swell in your belly, making you gasp. They were much harder than before and you giggled, hurrying to grab Bucky’s hand. You rested it on your side and his eyes widened as he felt them for himself.
“You guys are excited too, aren’t you?” Bucky asked in a sweet voice.
Soon, the two of you were back at Bucky’s shared home with Steve and Sam. The two had gone out for the night while Millie opted to spend the night at Nikki’s, giving you and Bucky some privacy… And that meant the two of you were sprawled out in bed together, binge-watching a series while Bucky graded last-minute papers.
Once he wrapped up and joined you for cuddles, you licked your lips. “Bucky, what are we going to name them?” You asked.
“I thought they’re being named Razzle and Dazzle Barnes?” He laughed, referencing Millie. You slapped his shoulder playfully, rolling your eyes as you tossed back a chip.
“I’m being serious!” You smiled. “I’m due Febuary 25th, but honestly, twins normally don’t make it to 40 weeks… And even though it seems like we have time - we really don’t. I’d like to start calling them by their name… Even if they don’t understand it yet.” You laughed.
Bucky nodded his head in agreement. “What were you thinking? Twins usually have rhyming names or the same letter.”
You bit down on your lip. “But do we really want to go traditional?”You asked.
Bucky shok his head. “No, these kids are different from others. So, they deserve two different names… How about we compromise. You name one baby, I’ll name the other?” He suggested.
You smiled excitedly. “You name the girl, I’ll name the boy?” You raised your eyebrows.
Bucky wrapped his arm around you. “I was hoping you’d let me name her… Because I already had a name in mind.”
Your eyes widened. “Really? Because I already have a boy’s name in mind…”
Bucky moved to sit up, taking this moment seriously. “You go first.” He ushered.
He helped you to sit up. You swallowed the lump that threatened to form. You had the name picked out since you were younger and you hoped Bucky would appreciate it. The first name was easy, and now that you knew Bucky, you wanted to honor him.
“Lucas Buchanan,” You answered. “And we can call him Luke for short.”
Bucky’s eyes widened. “You… You want to give him my middle name?” He asked, his eyes suddenly blurring. You nodded and that’s when you felt him pull you into his lap, his arms wrapping around you.
“Lucas Buchanan Barnes… I love that,” He laughed, kissing you passionately. You smiled widely, thankful and relieved that he approved.
“Alright! Tell me what you have for a girl,” You grinned excitedly.
Bucky smiled. “I’ve given it a lot of thought.. I have a feeling you’ll certainly be up for it, but I was just thinking of how one person in our lives has helped us so much. After all… I wouldn’t have found out you were pregnant without her telling me…”
Your eyes started to widen.
Bucky inhaled.
“I want to name our daughter after the best…Eliza Millie,”He announced
“Bucky,”You gasped, covering your mouth. It was your turn for tears to well up. He held you closer, his lips pressing against yours as you held his cheeks.
“Luke and Eliza,” You whispered. “I think they’re perfect.”
Bucky grinned. “Just like the woman carrying them,” He winked, making your cheeks heat up.
Before you realized it, the two of you found yourselves tucked away beneath the sheets, your hands roaming across one another freely. You were basking in the glow of Bucky,never having been more thankful for somebody in your life. Everything was beginning to make sense now.
Pairing: Prince!Bucky x Princess!Reader (Royal AU)
Summary: Obedience, duty, pristine smiles—raised as the princess of an oppressive kingdom, you knew nothing else. Your father signed your life away at the ripe age of five, black ink bleeding into a contract between nations, fate cemented with the flick of a quill. So when the time came to fulfill the promises you were too young to make, you expected much of the same in the land of Brookshire. But Prince James had other plans, as did the enemies looming outside the castle walls.
Word count:5k
Warnings: Some rising tensions, corset drama, and a little more fluff <3
a/n: I love love feedback, so let me know what you think!! There’s some angst on the horizon
“Darling, have you seen the view from the east window?” Bucky called, his voice distant from the other end of the dining table.
“Prince James, this is the third morning in a row you’ve asked me that.”
“Well, this is the third morning in a row that you’ve sat so far away.”
You glanced up from your breakfast with a small smile, your brow arched. “It is customary for us to sit here,” you explained, motioning toward the chairs opposite to each other. “That’s why your staff set the table this way.”
“Customary for who?”
“Royals, Prince James.”
Bucky scoffed, his chair scraping the floor as he got up, his plate clinking against his fork as he gripped it between rushed fingers. It took about four, long steps before he reached the seat to your left, and then he pulled it out with just as much dramatism.
“Perhaps, as a pair, we do away with royal customs that have me sitting a mile away from my wife,” he concluded, plopping down on cushion and wood with a grace he certainly hadn’t learned from a court tutor. “Besides, I’m thinking that whoever created that rule must not have been married to you.”
Your face burned as it usually did when he made comments like that. Bucky seemed to love making your relationship feel like a casual affair, as if your union hadn’t been set in stone for years, the pairing a political tactic your father used to send you away. He seemed to love making you feel like he was falling for you by choice.
“We are not even married,” you reminded him. “No matter how many times you call me your wife.”
Wife—a word he used with frequency, as of late.
He hummed. “Not yet, my princess.”
His foot slid to meet yours under the table; a small brush, but a purposeful one. You lost your breath for a moment as Bucky continued to eat his breakfast, feigning indifference with a bite of bread just as his ankle brushed yours. And then his eyes turned up to yours with a knowing glint. But before you could say anything back, the dining room doors opened with an echoing boom.
“I apologize, Your Highnesses,” an unsure voice sounded. “But… well Prince James, the queen is going over a few last minute preparations for tomorrow, and she said that you insisted on being the one to confirm the guest list.”
Bucky’s eyes refused to leave yours as he replied, “Thank you, Peter. You can tell my mother that I—”
“She told me not to come back unless you were with me,” Peter interrupted, a small, apologetic smile etched onto his face.
You bit back a laugh at the vexation blooming along Bucky’s brow, his jaw ticking as he finally tore his eyes from you. He went back and forth with Peter for a while, trying to demand more time with you since he was the one that decided whether or not Peter got knighted. But the witty squire took those empty threats in stride, further insisting that the queen was still the one he reported to.
Well, until the coronation anyway. And the wedding.
“Fine,” Bucky finally huffed, discontentedly. “If my mother truly needs me at this very moment, I suppose I will miss out on my fleeting, invaluable time with the princess here.”
You suppressed the urge to roll your eyes. “I will see you tomorrow night, Prince James.”
“Yes, but there will be so many people there. And they will all want to dance with you. I hardly think I will get a moment of your time before you are whisked away in the arms of some old commander or nobleman.”
If you were being honest, the night was going to go exactly as Bucky described it. It was a ball to welcome the new princess to court; a way to introduce you to the neighboring lands and get the government of Brookshire acquainted with their soon to be queen. You would have to laugh at bad jokes and dance with old men and wear those heels that Bucky insisted you shove into the far corner of your closet.
You would have very little time with the prince, and while that saddened you, it also afforded you a sliver of unkind reality.
This night was what your entire life had been—your life before Bucky. So it would be easy to fall back into the routine, to smile when you didn’t want to and dance with those you didn’t know. You’d dance the waltzes ingrained in your muscle memory and slink back into dark corners when the men started discussing the country’s politics. And it would be okay. Because back in Hyland, you’d end these nights alone in your quarters, feeling empty and used.
But tomorrow night, you had a feeling you wouldn’t have to feel that way. That maybe, if you asked, Bucky would be there, ready and willing to make you feel whole again.
“Perhaps you would be better off finding a moment of my time after the ball then?”
Bucky’s smile was vibrant, his hands reaching out to brush your hair from your eyes as he stood from the table. He kept your cheeks between his hands for a moment longer, admiring you with your spoon still held out in front of you, an unexpecting expression on your face.
“I will,” he affirmed, leaning down to press a kiss on your hairline. You almost dropped your spoon. “I’ll see you tomorrow, darling.”
Yes—you were positive that while the ball would be draining, Bucky… Bucky would be everything you needed to fix that. Everything you needed all along.
~~
The corset pulled tighter around your ribs, Natasha wincing with each tug as she kneeled before you, lacing the shoes you surely couldn’t reach anymore. The royal dresser let out a huff from behind you before wiping her brow and tying off the ribbon. She bowed, handed Natasha the rest of your formal wear, and then left with a smile.
“She was nice,” Natasha hummed, helping you into the rest of your dress.
“I don’t think I have ever had a dresser apologize so many times,” you remarked, trying to relieve some tension on your waist. “I think she thought I was going to pass out.”
“Well, it has been some time since you last wore a corset.”
“I cannot believe I used to wear these every day,” you exasperated.
Natasha grumbled at that, replying snarkily, “You used to be forced to wear them every day.”
She laced together the final pieces of your dress, the tool and silk falling in beautiful waves along the floor. You adjusted your posture once more, trying to find a comfortable position to breathe. You were sure you looked like the perfect picture of the monarchy, but you truly were out of practice when it came to royal dress; Bucky and the ladies of this court were quite adamant that day dresses and comfortable footwear were more than acceptable for your daily life.
It was nothing like back at home, with metal binding constantly strapped to your back and your toes constantly pinched together in tiny shoes.
You comforted your friend with a hand on her shoulder and an understanding look. You knew how much she hated your treatment back in Hyland. But she knew that if she ever said anything, the small privileges she was afforded would’ve been taken from her in a single blink. And her position would’ve dropped as well, sending her far, far away from you.
“It’s okay, Natasha. It’s different here.” You took careful steps to the door, reaching for the brass handles, knowing the guards were waiting for you on the other side. “I think it will stay that way.”
The walk to the ballroom was glistening—the floors, the walls, the lights. You were in the south wing of the castle, where the balls were held and the guests resided, and—apparently—where all of the marble in the kingdom was held. You found yourself missing the charming cobblestone and tile that made up the wing you stayed in. You missed the wide open windows and the linen curtains that rustled each morning. The ocean that woke you up with a different kind of gleam… the kind that lit up the oil paintings on your walls and slid along your skin in delicate patterns.
When Steve gave you a tour upon your arrival, you hadn’t noticed the contrast as much; the castle was so large and you were taken into so many rooms. But it was jarring now—the stiffness of the guest wing. You wondered why your wing was so different, since Bucky obviously stayed there as well. You wondered who the designers had in mind when they put together the comfort that you loved so much.
“Are you ready?” Natasha whispered by your ear. You hadn’t even noticed the grand doors in front of you, their intricate wooden patterns waiting to be pushed open. You could hear the music on the other side, the sounds of expensive shoes against polished marble.
“Of course,” you replied, but your voice wasn’t as strong as you remembered it to be just moments before.
The doors were opened anyway.
Immediate silence. Violins stopped, the people parted; you stood just beyond the doors, head held high in a feigned confidence—a product of years and years of practice. The announcer called out your name and title in a voice you were so used to, and your next job was simply to smile and walk in. To make your way to the seat at the head of the room, and sit until you were asked to dance by one of the expensive shoes.
But then Bucky was there, stepping in your path with his hand held out in offerance. Bucky was there and he was smiling at you with those boyish eyes, still so youthful even when paired with his royal military uniform.
You took a glance back at Natasha, questioning your next move; she had never led you astray. With a small smile, she nodded her head, and you turned to take the hand you never quite let yourself believe would be there when you were growing up.
The music began the second Bucky took your waist. It was the Merry Widow Waltz, a dance you’d learned just after you were able to walk. An admittedly glance dance, one to welcome you to the festivities, surely, and you were glad when other couples joined the floor soon after—less attention on you, were you to mess up the steps.
Bucky guided you along the floor with practiced ease, tugging you closer to his chest around others, smiling down at you when you risked a glance up at him.
“You look beautiful,” he whispered by your ear, when the dance took you farther away from the center of the floor. “You always do.”
For the first time at any ball, you let a laugh free, “I wasn’t expecting a dance so soon, Prince James. I only just entered the room.”
He released you, using one hand to twirl you away, but quickly capturing your waist back in his grip. This was supposed to be a fast-paced waltz, with the couple leaving distance between each other for quick moves. But Bucky kept the two of you about one step behind the rest of the room, his desire to keep you close slowing you down. You couldn’t find it in yourself to care as his nose brushed yours.
“I told you, princess. You are the star of the evening. I must take all the time I can get.”
The dance ended long before you wanted it to, Bucky parting from you with a bow and wink that left you feeling privy to some information you had never even shared. Maybe that’s just how it felt to be falling in love—like you had some secret that no one else could ever understand.
You ruminated on the thought as the evening progressed. When you were spun around the room and asked about your homeland, all you could think about were the eyes tracking you from the far side of the ball, how they looked at you in a way that no one else did. When your gloved hand was kissed by noblemen and governors, you were reminded of the way Bucky kissed your hand, and your head and your fingers… how each touch of his lips sent you falling down a well of uncharted feelings.
You thought about kissing him back.
You were only pulled from your clouded daze when it was time to actually meet the other royals in the room—the whole purpose of the evening. Steve stood beside you on the steps leading up to the thrones, his shined and polished shoes just a tad bit untied.
“This is King T’Challa. He rules over Wakanda. Brookshire does a lot of trade with his kingdom.”
“It is lovely to meet you,” you greeted, shoulder slightly pressing against Steve’s chest in familiarity. “I am so excited to become more acquainted with you and your people.”
The king gave you a firm handshake and a smile, but didn’t stick around for small talk. He was one of the easier royals to meet—kind but to the point. The rest of the gentlemen were more chatty, some of the women were more stiff. A few younger royals came up to speak about future prospects and Steve had to shoo them away with a small laugh. Natasha joined you on the steps after the fourth group that came to bow and meet you, and you relaxed more then.
“Almost done,” Steve promised, a strong hand placed on your arm. “I believe there is only one more guest we have yet to meet. She arrived a little late but I saw her and her—ah, Sharon!”
You looked up from your shoes, eyes falling on the blonde in purple silk making her way to the front of the room. You recognized her; she danced with Bucky three songs after you arrived. Not that you were keeping track. A lot of people were dancing with Bucky tonight.
She reached you and offered a small smile, one you reciprocated with ease and a bow. “It is nice to finally meet you, Princess y/n,” she said, her head dipping.
“Finally?” you questioned. Queen Sharon was the ruler of Madripoor, a place you only learned about after arriving in Brookshire. You definitely hadn’t had any correspondence before this.
“Yes, I feel as if I already know you!” she laughed. “Bucky speaks of you so freely. I swear you were on his mind before he even got the chance to ask poor Steve what you looked like.”
You blinked, the use of Bucky’s name surprising you. Well—the use of his name along with Steve’s, and of the familiarity this queen seemed to have with your fiancé. But Bucky had an entire life before you came along, and you needed to remember that. It was just jarring since the past weeks had been secluded to the two of you. This was the first time you had come into contact with the outside world since you arrived in Brookshire, and a small kind of bubble was bursting.
“Oh, of course,” you conceded, with a laugh you had practiced many times. “I suppose there is much to talk about when you’ve been engaged for so many years.”
“Yes, many years.”
Her tone confused you, its slight bite unwarranted and out of place. You pretended it didn’t with another fake laugh. You couldn’t quite mask the tightness in your throat, however, the night verging on overwhelming, especially with this queen’s terseness. You took half a step back to reach the comfort of your friends.
“Well, it was so nice to formally meet you. I’m sure we will be seeing each other often with how close you are to this court.” Almost through gritted teeth. Almost. Natasha’s subtle hand on your wrist kept you polite.
Sharon’s exit was as graceful as her entrance, this time with Steve following behind her with an invitation to dance. You were fairly certain he only did that for you, Natasha’s quick glance over at your cousin conveying all that it needed to.
You turned to your lady in waiting the second Sharon was out of ear shot. “I know I’m not too versed in this kind of thing, but was she…? She didn’t like me, did she?”
Natasha gave you a sympathetic smile. “I’m sure there are many here tonight that are—wanting for your situation. It can make them bitter.”
“Wanting for my situation?” you questioned, baffled. “And what situation is that?”
“Y/n, your fiancé would be the most eligible bachelor in the continent if not for you. You must know that. A crown, a kingdom, a face like that—he has it all, and you took it before they even had a chance.”
You reared back at her insinuation. “It’s not as if I had a choice. You know that better than anyone here.”
“I know, I know,” she placated. “But it does not help when all of the women in the room keep trying to catch his attention and he won’t stop staring at you like that.”
You snapped your gaze in the direction of her hand, spotting Bucky in the center of the ballroom, a champagne flute between his fingers and a dazed look on his face as he seemingly ignored the nobleman talking his ear off. He was ignoring him in favor of watching you, and he didn’t show any signs of getting bored.
Your eyes turning to him was all the confirmation he needed to end his mundane conversation, his drink suddenly pushed into the hands of an unexpecting man. He weaved through the crowd with small apologies and light smiles until he found the base of the stairs, and you did as well, your feet guiding you down to him subconsciously.
“Princess,” he greeted, breathless. “Am I correct in assuming that this next moment of time belongs to me?”
Your smile was contagious, any ill feelings left by the thrones, far away from Bucky. “Completely.”
And even though your feet hurt terribly and your chest struggled to capture a full breath, you felt lightheaded as he whisked you to the floor, carefree. He gathered you in his arms and you were transported to the horses and the flowers and the rays of canary-colored sun that usually came with his citrusy scent, the hints of early morning tea and comfort all wrapped up in the man holding you so closely.
But then the music started, and you were very abruptly thrown out of the dreamy solace you loved so much.
“I do not know this dance,” you panicked. “Prince James, this waltz—what is it?”
Bucky shook his head with fond eyes, his thumb brushing down your temple. “There is no waltz for this dance, my princess.”
You gaped. “I will embarrass you. I’ve never danced without a waltz before. I’ll look like a fool, Prince James, I cannot—”
“I requested this song for you.” Bucky kept his voice low, and you struggled to maintain a calm state with others dancing around you, apparently so sure of the next steps to take. “They play it at every ball, but there isn’t one dance for it.” He let both of his hands trail down to your waist—certainly not a proper position. “Let me show you.”
Your heart beating out of your chest, your palms damp from panic, you nodded your head because as much as you hated to admit it, you’d let Bucky show you just about anything.
And so he showed you.
His hands never left your waist, even when the rest of the room parted to spin and take up hands with others. He consistently held you to him, and his laugh echoing against your chest was the sweetest sound, surpassing any melodic flutes or violins in the space.
You had no idea what pattern your feet were making, nor how many times you had spun around in the same spot on the floor, but Bucky didn’t seem to care. His fingers ran up the boning of your corset and brushed the small bit of exposed skin above your shoulders; they trailed there until he pressed his palm to your neck as well, ushering your head to his chest.
The music kept its upbeat tune, but you did not, because Bucky held you there instead. The reverberation of heels and leather pounded into the soles of your shoes, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to move—couldn’t find it in yourself to be embarrassed when the consistent thud of Bucky’s sweet heart was there against your cheek and wholly, completely yours.
You pulled away slightly, head light from the champagne or your fiancé’s touch, you couldn’t tell. “Bucky,” you whispered, a secret in the air between you, one he would surely keep. “Shall we leave?”
And although it was long before the others would turn in, some guests even staying the night due to how long they would dance, Bucky couldn’t help but give you anything you ever wanted.
“Of course, my darling.”
He would think about the way his name sounded on your lips every night for the next week, but for now, he held your waist as you giggled and pretended to sneak around confused party guests. He fell in love with you just a little more, watching your dress slide against unused marble, knowing that the girl he chased through the halls was just that—a girl. Not a royal or a pawn to be moved around.
But you were his girl, and that made all the difference.
~~
“They are sleeping, princess.”
“You told me there were ducks here.”
“I am very sorry to disappoint,” Bucky laughed, feigning sincerity with a hand over his chest.
You hummed. “You don’t seem very sorry.” You stepped back from the pond, taking a seat on the bench under the aging willow. “In fact, you appear to be very amused by my sorrow.”
Bucky scoffed, rounding his side of the tree to come and join you. He was mused from the night, his hair disheveled and his collar askew; he looked kissed by joy and roused by the dim shine of the moon, and you were having trouble conjuring any other picture of beauty.
“I can assure you,” he spoke out to the pond, his thigh pressing to yours. “Your sorrow could never amuse me. Shall I find a groundskeeper to wake the ducks? Would that appease you, my princess?”
“Of course not. Then the ducks would resent me.”
He turned to you, adoration shining with the stars in his eyes. “We wouldn’t want that.”
With the crickets blaring amongst the high brush by the spring pond, the water rippling with small life, you leaned your shoulder into his. Bucky responded with a brush of his fingers against yours on the surface of the bench, capturing them after only a moment’s hesitation. When he pressed your palms together, words were falling from your mouth before you could stop them.
“I would paint this,” you admitted, only a little embarrassed. “I used to paint. In secret.”
Bucky’s thumb brushed the back of your hand before he responded, “I know. Steve would tell me of your works—how beautiful they were. I don’t know if you got my letters—”
“I got them,” you interrupted. “I just… I didn’t think they were coming from you. I thought they were a ploy from your court. Some obligatory correspondence.”
“They were from me. All of them.”
You knew this. After all of your time with Bucky, you knew that those words were his and his alone; that his sentiments were sincere and that he was a kind prince that would turn into an even more benevolent king.
Minus the ducks of course.
“You could still paint here. If you’d like to, of course,” Bucky whispered. It was almost lost in the rustling willow leaves.
You took in a large breath, gearing up for a long protest about why that was unnecessary—your hobbies were not something that should take up the time of others—when a sharp pain sprouted just below your ribs. The corset, of course; sitting too long with your chest confined in such a way was never good for heavy breathing. You attempted to ground yourself with a steady hand to your stomach, but Bucky was more observant than that.
“Are you alright?” he stressed, standing and bringing you along with him. “Did the tasters miss something? Have you been poisoned?”
Your laugh was stifled by the steel boning along your waist. “No, Bucky, I am fine. It’s nothing to concern yourself with.”
“Thank you for the dismissal but everything to do with you is my concern.”
You focused on the soft pressure of Bucky’s hands on your hips as you steadied your breathing; you had a lot of practice with this kind of feeling, and after a few moments it would pass. But with Bucky tilting his head to catch your eyes, the worry set deep in his brow, you were having a hard time with the otherwise simple task. When he brushed his touch up to your chin, angling your gaze to his, you were no longer sure if the corset was the problem.
“What is it?” he asked, so gently you almost fell into the words
“My corset. I’m just not accustomed to the restriction anymore. It will pass, Bucky, just give me a moment.”
“It’s so tight that it’s hurting you?”
“That is typically the purpose of a corset,” you jested, a grim smile passing over your face.
Bucky shot forward, quick hands coming around you to find the hooks of your gown. “You must take it off.”
It took you a moment to register his words, but as his nimble fingers found the top clasp of your dress, you knocked his arms away at the absurdity.
“I cannot!“ you exclaimed. “If someone were to see me undressing out here with you, there would be an unstoppable onslaught of rumors.”
Bucky huffed, now a slight tightness in his jaw, more concern shining through. “Rumors about what, darling? A couple, engaged to be married, having a secret rendezvous by the pond? I’m sure there is more interesting court gossip than that.”
“We are not yet married.”
“And I am simply trying to ensure that my fiancée doesn’t suffocate,” Bucky rushed, attempting once again to free you from the uncomfortable garment. He got a clasp free this time.
You slid back, unraveling yourself from his arms. “Prince James!” you scolded.
“Back to that? I’ve become so fond of hearing you say my name.”
“Fine,Bucky,” you tried. “Either way, you cannot take my corset off. It is… extremely improper. The dressers have to do that, and they typically prefer to do it inside.”
With all of your frustrated huffs and helpless quips, you found yourself struggling more and more to capture a full breath. Your chest rose and fell at an alarming rate, your hands coming up to set comfort into your stomach, but finding little solace there. You were panicked at the prospect of someone finding you out here, half dressed, but the alternative—keeping the corset on—was becoming impossible.
What surprised you, however, was your lack of discomfort at the idea of Bucky pulling the laces from your back. You hadn’t even given that aspect of it all a second thought when he reached for you, instead focusing on the humiliation of discovery. You didn’t have time to unpack those feelings; Bucky was talking again, low and comforting.
“You trust me, don’t you?”
“Of course I do.” An answer without hesitation—without thinking.
He smiled, softly. “Then turn around.”
Your gaze flickered between his eyes a few more times, your skin resisting the soft breeze on your cheeks. Bucky’s lips parted before he reached for you, and the sword he had strapped to his hip on the way out the door clinked against the metal of his belt. It took one final, nervous wring of your hands and you were facing the willow again, blind to Bucky’s actions.
His fingers touched you first—tentative against your neck, sweeping the ties from your necklace away from the laces of your corset. They lingered there, and you could feel the gentle puff of his breath prickle your skin. He trailed down the indent of your spine until he met the base of the ribbon.
The first pull left a sound resonating past the pond, silk brushing against silk, cotton releasing from its bind. Bucky’s left hand came up to steady your waist in an unnecessary touch. It warmed you through your dress, consumed you like a fire that bloomed up past your neck and spread through your mind.
And then he pulled again and again and again, each tug loosening your chest and constricting it for a completely different reason. You held the corset against you when it fully released, and Bucky let his hands slide up your arms as you stood there, lashes fluttering for someone that couldn’t see it.
“Is that better?”
“Yes,” you breathed out, unable to turn around. “Much better, thank you.”
Lips behind your ear, stealing all of the air from your body with their gentle pressure. “We must get you back in your room before others see you in such a state of undress.” His hands squeezed your arms. “I think my quarters are closer.”
Your face burned, turning on the heel of your shoe with gusto. “I think you are pushing it.”
Bucky reached up to brush a strand of hair behind your ear, playful eyes never straying lower than your lips. “I was only joking, my darling,” he hummed, cupping your cheek in his hand. You leaned into it instantly. “I’d wait forever for you. You know that, don’t you?”
And a part of you, the part that was growing and becoming so used to Bucky’s sweet disposition, did know.
Request:The one where the reader and Bucky used to date a while back but they broke it off. Bucky has enlisted and is going to leave in a couple of days so him and Steve are on this date with 2 girls. The reader and Bucky see each other again at a show during that night because the reader is a professional ballet dancer.
Warning/s:None.
Author’s note: I changed it a little bit. Instead of the reader becoming a professional ballet dancer, she’s going to be a lounge singer. I hope you all like it! Btw, the song Moonlight by Ariana Grande is an inspiration for this imagine.
The streets of Brooklyn were very quiet when the night start to get late. The peaceful night is very relaxing. Everyone was indoors having dinner with their families, friends, etc. But tonight, the reason why the streets are quiet is because almost everyone are attending an event hosted by the most well-known inventor, Howard Stark.
(Y/N) didn’t want to attend the said event because such events like that are not her thing. She doesn’t feel comfortable with big crowds. Plus, she got work. In a nearby, decent bar, she works there as a lounge singer. Every Wednesday nights, she would entertain the customers. But there is one twist: the customers don’t know her true identity. They only know her by her stage name and voice, but never her real name and face. The owner likes to keep it that way because it intrigues the customers, and wants to preserve the mystery.
“(Y/N)? 5 minutes and you’re up!” The stage manager called out from the other side of the door of her dressing room.
“I’ll be there!” She called back. She looked back to her reflection on the mirror and checked to see how she looks like. Her (H/C) hair was curled and cascaded down her back, her makeup was simple yet her lips were painted in a deep red shade that made her (S/C) glow. The navy blue gown she was wearing, that had thin-straps and a v-neck, reached down the ground and shimmered when swayed.
She always did look good in blue. At least that’s what her ex-boyfriend said to her before.
James Buchanan Barnes had every girl in the city falling for him. You couldn’t blame him, though. The guy had this suave when he walks, a charming smile that makes the girls swoon, piercing blue eyes, and a macho physique. In all honesty, (Y/N) never knew what a guy like him saw in her. She was just a simple, city girl. She wasn’t born with a silver spoon, and she didn’t come from a rich family. And yet, they fell in love.
Their relationship was strong and happy. Bucky would always write her these letters that contained his deep affection towards her, would always treat her the way girls want to be treated, etc. It was like a fairy tale. Many people (specifically the women) weren’t much of a fan of their relationship. Some say that the two of them wouldn’t work out because of Bucky’s reputation as a ladies’ man, while some say that he doesn’t really love her and made bets on how long their relationship will last. Despite all this, the two still made their relationship as steady as it was since the beginning.
The ones who really knew them called (Y/N) as Bucky’s greatest love. They all thought that the two would get married, have kids, and grow old together after living a very happy and affectionate life. That is until they broke up. Oh how almost every girl rejoiced upon hearing the news. The early days of their break up gave (Y/N) a hard time. Everywhere she went, people would always give her dirty looks, glares, snarks, and grimace in disgust. She tried her best to ignore them, but sometimes it can get a little bit too much. When she tried to defend herself, she would get her hair pulled, scratches on her cheeks and arms, and a bleeding lip. She was surprised when the next day, everyone seemed to look at her normally and gone were those glares and grimaces. Almost as if the events of yesterday never happened.
She never knew what happened to Bucky after their break up. But she hoped he is doing well.
(Y/N) pulled herself out of her thoughts and sighed. Even after 5 months, she still wonders about the first guy she truly did love. She wonders if he ever still does think about her, as ridiculous and impossible that sounds.
“Show time.” (Y/N) told herself before walking out of her dressing room.
“Welcome to the best night of your life, ladies.” Bucky cheered as soon as they entered the place. As promised, he took the two ladies to dancing for tonight. Steve followed closely behind, looking around the place. At least the place is decent, Steve thinks, compared to the bars Bucky always chooses.
“Oh! Let’s go sit at the front!” The brunette, named Bonnie, grabbed Bucky’s hand and dragged him to the table just beside the dance floor. The spot they chose had a nice view of the stage. The blonde, named Sandra and Steve’s supposedly date, rushed to follow after the two, completely ignored the scrawny guy standing beside her. Steve bit back an eye roll and joined them.
“We came here in the right time. Gosh, I’m so excited!” Sandra gushed to her friend.
Bucky chuckled, slinging his arms behind the girls. “Why?”
“There is this girl here who performs every Wednesday night. She has this amazing voice that pierces through the hearts of everyone who are listening.” Bonnie explained.
Bucky smirked, glancing over to Steve who only raised an eyebrow when he saw a twinkle of mischief in Bucky’s eyes. “What’s her name?”
“Ever since she started working here in this place, no one knows her name. Well, except for her co-workers. Don’t bother asking them. They won’t tell you. They’ve been sworn to secrecy. It’s their way to preserve the mystery, I guess.” Bonnie’s eyes gleamed in glee and excitement. “But tonight, the mystery will be revealed!”
Steve only shrugged when Bucky looked at him. Before he could say something, someone had tapped a microphone.
“Good evening, everyone. Tonight, let us welcome our mystery song bird to the stage. For the first time in our business history, we will now reveal the face of yours and our beloved nightingale. Please give her a round of applause.”
The audience broke out in cheers and applause. The sounds of heels clicking on the marble floor was heard. A figure of a person walked to the stage. The lights at the stage was dark so the face of the person cannot be determined. Bucky shifted on his seat, watching in curiosity.
The sun is setting and you’re right here by my side
The girls were right. This mysterious girl has an amazing voice. For some reason, Bucky couldn’t help but sense a familiarity.
A couple of people started occupying the dance floor, swaying as the music played.
Every look, every touch makes me wanna give you my heart
“Come on, Bucky! Let’s dance!” Bonnie giggled and dragged a chuckling Bucky to the dance floor. The two soon started dancing and chatting. Bucky caught Steve’s eye and told him to ask the girl to dance. Steve glanced at the girl and asked her to dance. But the girl ignored him. Steve gave Bucky a shrug.
I never knew, I never knew You could have moonlight in your hands
As soon as the chorus broke out, the lights of the stage opened and a spotlight revealed the face of the person who was singing. Everyone stared in awe and cheered upon the revelation. Steve, Bucky, and the two girls stared in shock.
“Isn’t that your ex?” Bonnie asked Bucky.
Bucky didn’t answer. He simply stood there, frozen and gaping.
I kiss his fingertips As I’m wishing he’s all mine
A million of thoughts ran through Bucky’s mind. He never thought he’d get to see her again. It had been months. He would be lying if he said that he had not thought of her all the time.
Buck still lves her, even after everything. She was very different from the girls he met. She held a principle in her life. She is both grace and beauty. She is the only one who has him wrapped around her finger just by one look. The effect she gives him always leaves him wanting more.
Seeing her standing there, looking elegantly beautiful as ever, it truly stole his breath away.
(Y/N) smiled at the couples around her. They all had happy smiles and affection in their eyes. She only shook away the longing feeling she felt. “When he calls me moonlight, too.” Her breath hitched when her eyes met Bucky’s stare. Her heart beat intensified. What was he doing here? She swallowed and immediately looked away, mentally trying to calm herself down.
Her voice came out shaky and rushed. “Thank you everyone.” She immediately turned away and headed backstage. When she was out of the audience’s eyes, she leaned against the wall to catch her breath. She clutched her chest and closed her eyes.
“Oh my god… oh my god.” she whispered.
“(Y/N)? Hey, wow! You did great! The audience impact was spec– hey, are you okay?” Angie, her co-worker, asked.
(Y/N) nodded and took a deep breath. “Yes, I’m fine.”
From across the hall, she could hear Bucky’s voice asking for her. Her eyes grew wide at this, while her friend looked confused. “Why is that gorgeous man looking for you?”
Before (Y/N) could turn around and run, she had already locked eyes with him. (Y/N) couldn’t move even if she wanted to. She was already trapped. Bucky slowly walked over to her, stopping at arms length. Angie sensed the tension between them, so she immediately excused herself and gave the two privacy.
It was obvious that Bucky is as nervous as she is. She could read him very well.
“Hi.” He started.
“Hi.” She replied.
Silence.
What are you supposed to say in situations like this? (Y/N) bit her lower lip and fidgeted.
“How have you been? I haven’t seen you after…”
“I’m doing alright, I guess.” Bucky answered, giving her a nod. “How about you?”
“Same as you.”
Bucky smiled. “I didn’t know you could sing.”
Her face flushed at the hidden compliment. She smiled. “Figured I put my hidden talent to good use.”
“You have a beautiful voice.”
“Thank you, Bucky.” It took all her strength to refrain herself from calling him ‘Buck’. “I see you’ve gotten your uniform.”
Bucky looked down at what he is wearing. “Oh, uh, yeah.”
“When are you leaving?”
“In a few days.”
Silence fell over them again. It felt a little bit weird having small talks with Bucky. They’ve always talked about almost everything before. Sometimes when she does her rambling, he would shut her up with a kiss.
Not knowing if the conversation is over or not, she cleared her throat. I, uh, I should probably get changed. It was nice to see you again, Bucky.” she said, giving him a small smile before turning around.
She had just taken two steps when he stopped her. “(Y/N)?”
She turned around. “Yes?”
There was a flash of hesitation that crossed his features. He was chewing on his lower lip, and was swaying on his spot. He visibly inhaled. “Do you want to–” he cleared his throat, “–grab a cup of coffee or hot chocolate tonight?”
His offer took her by surprise. “What?”
His nervousness grew. “I, uh, asked if you wanted to–”
“I heard what you said.” she cut off. “What I meant to say was, why?”
He opened and closed his mouth, slowly lifting his shoulders. “It’s been so long since I last saw you. I, uh, wanted to know you’ve been over the last 5 months.” he explained, ever the gentleman.
When she didn’t answer, Bucky’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment “Right,” he lightly chuckled, “I shouldn’t have done that. Forget I, uh, said anything. It was good to see you, (Y/N).”
(Y/N)’s eyes immediately grew wide. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t answer him. “No, wait!” She halted when he was about to turn around. “I, uh, accept your offer.” she said, suddenly growing shy.
Bucky’s eyes lit up. A hint of a smile crossed his features. “Really?”
She nodded, smiling.
They kept seeing each other after that. Sometimes planned, sometimes not. During their late night coffee hangout, they talked about what the other had done after what had happened. They both still had their awkward silences but as each second passed, they grew comfortable. It was like she and him are one again.
A lot of people have noticed that the two have reunited. They didn’t say anything but they kept a watchful eye. Steve noticed the change of behavior in Bucky. Bucky’s eyes seemed to have a light again, he was smiling genuinely all the time, he doesn’t spend his time stopping and talking to other girls, and whenever someone mentions (Y/N), his cheeks would slightly turn pink and he wouldn’t shut up about her.
Steve thought that both have gone back together, but Bucky told him that they aren’t. This led to Bucky being lost in his thoughts the whole day.
At the last day of his time in Brooklyn, he asked (Y/N) if she could come with him. They spent the whole day talking, eating, and just having fun (like old times). They talked about everything that came upon their minds. Even managed to sneak in a few events from their past relationship.
By the late afternoon, the two were walking by the bridge. Bucky’s hands were inside the pockets of his jacket while (Y/N) was holding his arm. The wind blew calmly.
(Y/N) noticed the distant sunset view from the bridge. “The Golden Hour.” she murmured, stopping to lean on the railings. Bucky mimicked her position. “Views like this never cease to amaze me.”
“It’s just a simple sunset.”
“It is, for you. But the simple things hold such beauty that is rare and one of a kind.”
Bucky looked over to her, and she did the same. He smiled down at her. “Like you.” he said, softly.
(Y/N)’s cheeks flushed. She smiled and looked back to the view.
“You know, these past few days are one of the happiest moments of my life.” Bucky said, after a while.
(Y/N) looked over to him. “Why?”
Bucky was quiet for a while. He had a wistful look and a smile on his face. “Because I was given a chance to spend my days with the girl I’ve always loved before I leave.” he said.
Her heart melted. She stood there looking at him, not saying anything. Bucky turned to face her. He gently took her hands and held them close to him. “(Y/N), I know that I’m gonna leave tomorrow. I wish I could still have spent the days with you a bit longer. But do know that I’ll come back to you, doll. I’ll write you letters. Everyday until I come back.” he paused, stepping closer, “My love, you are one of my favorite people and the most beautiful woman I have ever known in real life. Is it too late for me to say that I love you?”
She had tears streaming down her face. She let out a chuckle. “It’s never too late, Buck.” she said and embraced him. He let out a breath that he was holding and wrapped his arms around her. He buried his face onto the crook of her neck when he tightened his grip. “But what if you don’t come back?” she asked when she pulled back.
Bucky tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Don’t say that.”
“But what if, Bucky?”
He didn’t say anything. He watched her eyes as fear danced around it. Fear of losing him. Then he smiled. “Then I want you to love your life as a happy woman. The woman that still loves life despite a loss. I want you to get married to a man you deserve. I want you to have kids, and make new memories. But the only thing I ask of you is to not forget me. For I truly, completely love you.”
(Y/N) choked down a sob and engulfed him in a hug. She ran her fingers through his hair. “Come back to me, please.”
Bucky kissed her hair. “Always.”
Author’s note: Did you spot a F.R.I.E.N.D.S. quote? :D
Summary: Sam and (Y/n)’s mission to retrieve information from the Flag Smashers is hijacked by Bucky. The three find themselves accompanied by an extremely flirty John Walker, something that doesn’t sit well with Bucky.
Author’s Note: Enemies to lovers trope w buckyyyyy I canttt. Defensive Bucky omgggg.
She heard him before she saw him. With a groan she entered the hangar.
“I’m gonna go see if Redwing’s right. ‘Cause I have a feeling they might be part of the Big Three.” Sam told (y/n)’s worst nightmare, Bucky.
“What Big Three?” Bucky asked.
“The Big Three.” (Y/n) answered. “Androids, aliens and wizards.”
“You’re late,” Sam said, turning around to face his partner. “But you’re right.”
Bucky groaned, looking at his own personal hell, (y/n). “That’s not a thing.”
“Of course it’s a thing!” She said, rolling her eyes. “Maybe aliens, androids and wizards weren’t a thing back in the 1800’s when you were first alive. But they are a thing now.”
“For the last time, I wasn’t born in the 1800’s.” Bucky huffed. “So, what? You’re saying you’re gonna fight Gandalf now?”
“How do you know about Gandalf?” Sam asked furrowing his brows.
“He probably read it when it first came out.” (y/n) laughed.
“I’m gonna ignore the obvious insult, but yes, I did in fact read it back in 1937.” Bucky said shaking his head. “But there are no wizards!”
“Doctor Strange!” Sam retorted.
“Is a sorcerer.” Bucky replied, not backing down.
“Aah!” (Y/n) chuckled. “A sorcerer is a wizard without a hat! I’m right!”
Sam nodded happily. “The fact is these guys use brute force just like you.”
“The incredibly annoying guy in front of us with the staring problem.” (Y/n) added, making Bucky face her and stare.
“I’m coming with you guys.”
She rolled her eyes and left, heading towards the jet. “No, you are not!”
On the plane, Bucky and (Y/n) were in an incredibly intense staring match. “Can we please just throw him off the plane?”
“I’ve got a vibranium arm, I’ll survive the fall.” Bucky said, giving off a fake smile.
“Let’s go (y/n).” Sam said, passing her the chute.
Sam quickly headed to the door and dropped down.
“This is the only one we have,” (Y/n) said with a smile, strapping on the parachute. “Hope your arm breaks the fall, R2D2.”
Bucky felt his blood boil, she always knew how to push his buttons. With one swift move he ripped off the leather sleeve on his jacket, pulled her closer to him and strapped on to the parachute that was already wrapped on her shoulders, kicking both of them off the plane.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” She mumbled as they both slowly descended, his short stubble grazing against the skin of her neck. He turned to face her, their lips not even an inch from each other.
“What? Do I make you nervous doll?” Bucky smirked. If there was one thing he knew about her, it was that she hated being close to him. “Afraid I’ll steal a kiss?”
She only rolled her eyes and faced the other way.
As they came down, the chute got caught in one of the tree branches. Ripping it in two. They both fell down hard, getting tangled in all of the ropes and fabric. With a thud, (y/n) ended up on top of Bucky.
“I have all of that on camera. You guys know that right?” Sam said, Redwing flying on top of the two.
“Ugh! Get off of me.” (Y/n) groaned, rolling off of Bucky.
“Get out of my face, Sam, or I’ll break it.” Bucky said, the air still knocked out of his lungs.
“Y’all make a cute couple and all, but I need you to head north.” Sam replied through the speaker, laughing.
The trio found itself in an abandoned warehouse. The walls burnt down and filled with graffiti, dust flying everywhere.
“Wow Bucky, this is a nice place. You never told us that you had a house in Munich.” (Y/n) said looking around the grimy scene.
“This looks nothing like my house.” He mumbled. “You should ask your mom what it looks like, she told me she liked the décor last night when I was bang-“
“Hey! First graders! No ‘yo mamma’ jokes.” Sam said, motioning for them to get closer to where he was.
(Y/n) shot him an annoyed look. “By the way, my mom is a classy woman. She doesn’t go for guys like you.”
“Well, you better double check because last time she was in my bed, she told me she loved-“
“What did I just say!” Sam interrupted. “I can’t take you guys anywhere!”
“I’ll see you guys in there… or not.” Bucky said, leaving Sam and (Y/n) behind.
“Look at you, all stealthy.” (Y/n) said through the earpiece. “You spend two days in Wakanda and come out White Panther.”
“It’s actually White Wolf.” Bucky retorted.
A second later, Sam and (Y/n) were next to him.
“What did we miss, Pink Pony? Oh yeah, nothing.” (Y/n) whispered.
“How many times am I going to have to tell you, it’s White Wolf.”
The three of them saw the identical vans leaving the warehouse.
“While you two were over here fighting, the criminals left, and they have a hostage! Now follow me!” Sam yelled, leaving the two behind.
Bucky quickly caught up to the first vehicle. “They’re stealing medicines, vaccines. I found the hostage.”
The hostage let out a devious smile before kicking Bucky off of the car. “Shit!” He was pulled by two of the other Flag Smashers, immediately put into a fight.
Sam quickly dropped (Y/n) to where Bucky was, dropping punches left and right. Making one of the two men holding the former Winter Soldier back, double back in pain. “You’re welcome.”
Before they noticed, a shield came into the fight. It was John Walker and Lemar Hoskins. But not even with two others could they win. (Y/n) was flung off of the van, falling into a nearby field. She was soon accompanied by both Sam and Bucky.
“Don’t you two look romantic.” (Y/n) teased as she saw both men panting.
With a shocked look in his face, Bucky said: “Those were all super soldiers.”
The three of them had a look of defeat in their faces when they saw the jeep approach them. In the back sat none other than the fake Captain America and his sidekick.
“So that didn’t go as planned, huh?” Walker said as the car came to a halt, the back opening for them to climb up. But they kept on walking. “C’mon you guys know we’ve got to work together.”
“That’s not happening.” Bucky said.
“For the first time in forever, I’m with Barnes on this one. Not in your wildest dreams, Walker.” (Y/n) replied, her gaze still focused on the road ahead of her.
“Oh, (y/l/n), you don’t wanna know what we do in my wildest dreams.” John Walker said with a smug smile. “The fact is, we stand a better chance if we-“
“Just cause you carry the shield doesn’t mean you’re Captain America.” Bucky replied.
“Look, it’s twenty miles to the nearest airport. You three need a ride!” John said and Lemar nodded.
They all found themselves crammed on the back of the car. Sam and Bucky facing John, Lemar and (Y/n).
“The super soldiers say they’re trying to get things back to how it was during The Blip. Maybe they’re just trying to help.” Sam explained.
“They’ve got a funny way of showing it.” (Y/n) rolled her eyes.
“Look, if we work together, we’ll have the perfect team. We have the government backing us up, you two are great fighters and well, (y/n) brings the looks.” Walker smiled, resting his hand on the back of where (y/n) was sitting.
“Thinking a woman can only bring in looks is so outdated. Move your hand one inch and those fingers will be laying on the floor.” She hissed.
“Oh c’mon. I know you bring more than looks, I’ve seen how you fight. But I can’t deny you look good.” The fake Captain America said, not even disguising his flirting.
“Aren’t you married?” She asked, disgusted.
“You know what they say,” John said, taking his hand and placing it on the small of her back. “Eyes that don’t see, heart that doesn’t hurt.”
Before anyone could even reply, (Y/n) had Walker facing the other way, arm locked and twisted behind his back. In this position, he could see the way Bucky’s eyes were burning holes into his face.
“Okay okay! I’m sorry.” John said and she let go of him. “I’m sorry, I just wanted to pay you a compliment.”
Once his hand was free, he faced the front again, seeing Bucky’s eyes follow him. “Does he always just stare like that?”
“You get used to it.” Sam said.
Bucky saw how John placed his hand on (y/n)’s thigh. Before any other words came out of his mouth, Bucky stood up and grabbed Walker by the collar. “I thought she had left it pretty clear. Don’t, fucking, touch her.”
John was choking, trying to get Bucky off of him.
“We’re getting off.” Bucky said, not waiting for the car to stop, jumping off.
As they all exited, the only thing they heard was Walker say: “Whenever you want someone else to be your guard dog, (y/n), call me.”
She flipped him off and kept on walking.
“I was handling the situation.” She told Bucky, he just growled under his breath.
Summary:Alone in the middle of nowhere and feeling yourself slowly fading, all you could do was try to keep yourself alive.
Pairing:Bucky x y/n
Word Count:2.4k
Warnings: Language, some gore
Author’s Note: Thank you @emmabarnes for the prompt for this story, sorry it’s been so long coming! ‘Reader has been missing for a few days, Bucky is going completely insane, they find her hurt/unconscious/dying in a field somewhere.’
—
As you wearily dragged yourself back to consciousness, he was your first thought.
You were only granted a few blissful seconds of peace before being inundated with pain, fear and disorientation, but in that brief time your mind was swimming with Bucky’s last words as you boarded that fucking plane.
‘Keep yourself safe for me, bug.’
Then he slipped away.
Unbelievable agony began to radiate from your right leg, shooting through your body like lightning with every slight movement. Battling through your tangled thoughts, you slowly pieced together the series of events that had landed you flat on your back in the middle of a field, in so much pain that you were struggling to breathe. You vaguely recalled glancing through the Alpha Jet’s window and seeing Moscow down below, then seconds later being hit by some kind of projectile. The impact had instantly snapped your wing off and sent you plummeting towards the ground.
After that it was just blackness, but the thick cords wrapped tightly around your waist and thighs led you to the conclusion that your parachute must’ve malfunctioned.
Fuck, Bucky was gonna be so pissed.
He always told you to double check that stuff, giving you concerned glances every time you teased him for being paranoid- if you somehow managed to survive this you were definitely in deep shit.
On the plus side, you now knew vaguely where you were and how you’d ended up here, so it was time to let your years of relentless survival training kick in. Your focus shifted to keeping yourself alive.
First, you needed to see your leg.
Carefully moving yourself around a little, you couldn’t feel any pain coming from your back, so you decided to risk sitting up in order to assess the full extent of the damage. It took at least thirty minutes and some intense screeching, but you eventually managed to find a comfortable position where you could get a good look. Your right leg was completely crushed underneath a sharp, thick piece of steel. At your best you could probably have shifted it, but you’d barely managed to muster the energy required to get to this point- besides, there was a good chance it was the only thing stopping you from bleeding out.
Freeing a length of cord and taking a deep breath, you fashioned it into a tight tourniquet above your knee, the pain causing you to collapse back to the ground. You needed to distract yourself, find something to focus on other than the excruciating agony.
Frantically flicking through memories like a rolodex, you eventually dug out an old reliable, one that could always make you smile no matter the circumstances- the day you first met Bucky.
You were still locked away beneath the Triskelion at the time, in the midst of Fury’s brutal Hydra-deprogramming regime, seriously considering whether all this pain was worth the meagre quality of life you’d be doomed to once you were cured. All you’d been told was that someone with ‘similar experiences’ was being sent to ‘assess’ you, which sounded to you like the kind of euphemism a parent would use to reassure their child when the vet arrives to put down their beloved pet.
The door of your basement prison slowly opened, and the first thing you saw was his smile, faint but optimistic. After that it took less than a few minutes for you to gather that this broad, intimidating man was just a sweet and clumsy oaf.
He stood opposite you and reeled off a few questions, giving away his nervousness by fidgeting around slightly as he spoke. ‘So how long’ve they had you hidden away down here?’
‘Almost two years.’
‘Wow, long time. You like it down here?’ You gave him a slightly puzzled look, figuring it was pretty clear that you weren’t living in this bare, concrete basement by choice. ‘Sorry. Stupid question. You’d probably rather be anywhere else, right? But hey, at least there’s no bugs.’
‘Nope, just me.’
‘You’re definitely the biggest bug I’ve ever seen.’ He paused, reassessing his words. ‘Not that you’re- I didn’t mean-’
The corners of your mouth curled into a smile in response to his inept ramblings. The sight seemed to effectively derail his frantic train of thought, because his words trailed off and he let the two of you settle into a brief, comfortable silence.
You knew from that moment there was something special about him, but later in the day when he spilled a full mug of coffee all over the floor and made you laugh for the first time in years, you knew he was the one. Just remembering his face as he stared at the slowly spreading brown puddle made you laugh to yourself, but you quickly snapped out of your fantasy when the sensation caused pangs of pain in your chest.
Just like that, you were back in your nightmare.
Your throat had already started to feel dry and scratchy, but you had no water and it was the height of summer, so there was little chance of rain. Bucky had three days to find you at most, all you could do in the meantime was try to preserve what little energy you had left.
You attempted to lull yourself to sleep by imagining him next to you, trying to remember the soft sound of him breathing and the warmth of his closeness. You thought about how long it’d taken for both of you to reach the point where you could share a bed, how you built up trust, slowly growing accustomed to being in such close proximity.
It started with Bucky sleeping on the floor of your bedroom, just so the two of you could get used to the sounds of each other. It only took a few weeks before he was able to tell whether you were awake just from the speed of your breathing, and he’d make sure to ask every few minutes if you were okay until he heard you nod off. The first time he tried sleeping in your bed, both of you expected a night of tension and unrest, but it turned out blissful. The feeling of his arm slung over you while you slept was the most comforting sensation you’d ever experienced. After that, there was no turning back, and the presence of each other was the only thing that could guarantee you both a good night’s sleep.
All you had tonight was the bitter cold and the paralysing fear that you might never get to see him again.
—
You jolted awake.
Sitting up slightly, waves of dizziness hit and you suddenly noticed that the grass around you was soaked with blood. You took a deep breath, grabbed a sturdy-looking stick from the ground and clenched it between your teeth, biting down hard as you tightened your tourniquet. The pain was immense and felt like it would never end.
After that, all you could do was lay back down and just let the hours pass. The light slowly faded, bright sunshine turning into murky twilight, which then waned into a darkness so thick that you couldn’t even see your hand in front of your face.
Thankfully, you didn’t mind the darkness. Late night was the only time Bucky was able to sneak you out of that fucking basement prison, so you’d grown quite fond of it, often staying up late just to stare into the night sky and relive those memories.
You thought back to the first time he did it, how he charmed the security guard before excitedly leading you through a maze of winding corridors. You’d never forget the feeling of the clean, crisp midnight air hitting your face for the first time in years. You were stood there with eyes firmly closed, tears running down your face, just breathing it in. A hand was gently placed on your shoulder, and you glanced over to see Bucky looking at you with the most beautifully triumphant smile. You leant into him and let his arms enclose you. The two of you stood there, holding each other and gazing at the stars, for hours.
You held on to that memory for as long as you could, but eventually it got away. You were starting to fade, you could feel it. Grasping around for anything that would keep your mind active, you began trying to remember all the intricate details of his face and the cadences of his voice, imagining what he’d say to you if he was here.
‘Well, I never pegged you as a quitter.’
You smiled slightly to yourself, his voice echoing in your ears. ‘You always overestimated me.’
‘That’s a lie and you know it.’
Letting your head fall to the side, you saw him crouched down beside you, wearing the same outfit he’d had on when you first met. A plain black t-shirt and blue jeans, classic but unbelievably sexy.
‘Good to see you, bug.’
‘You too Buck,’ tears started to well in your eyes, ‘I just wish you were real.’
‘Me too.’
You would’ve given anything to have him reach out and touch your face, to feel the rough skin of his hand against your cheek, to know he was there with you.
‘But look,’ laying down beside you, he propped up his head, a goofy grin spread across his face, ‘I wore your favourite outfit.’
‘You’re a figment of my imagination, of course I put you in my favourite outfit.’
He shrugged. ‘Could’a put me in nothing at all.’
‘Didn’t want you to be cold.’
‘So considerate.’
You chuckled slightly, wincing in pain. ‘Don’t make me laugh, it hurts.’
Your gaze shifted from your imaginary boyfriend back to the inky sky, a feeble sigh escaping your lips. You knew him being here wasn’t a good sign, your mind was obviously starting to completely unravel, but you couldn’t say you weren’t grateful for the company.
‘Am I gonna die here, Buck?’
‘Well you’ve lost a lot of blood and you haven’t had any water in almost two days,’ he leaned so close that you swore you could smell his cologne, ‘but we both know you’ve survived worse. If this is the thing that takes you out then, frankly, imma be a little pissed.’
You gave him a faint smile, pretty impressed at the accuracy with which your half-dead brain had created this hallucination- he was just as much of an asshole as his real counterpart.
‘Besides,’ he continued, ‘I can’t be too far away by now. You know I’ll never stop until I find you.’
‘You better fucking not.’
Your eyes slowly closed, but you still heard his voice in your ears as you drifted off into a fractured sleep.
‘Get some rest, bug. I’ll see you soon.’
—
You felt an orange warmth against your eyelids, but you couldn’t muster the energy to peel them open. The pain in your leg had faded, but you weren’t sure if it had improved or if you’d just grown accustomed to it. You kept falling in and out of consciousness, strange dreams bleeding into reality until you couldn’t distinguish the two anymore.
You fell into a sunken place, tranquil sensations engulfing your body, as if you were slowly slipping into a warm bath.
You thought, in the far distance, you heard your name being called.
—
Faint beeping started in your right ear.
It was sporadic and far away at first but, eventually, it grew loud and steady. You managed to grasp onto the sound, letting it drag you out of the sunken place and back into your body. Then more sounds started to bleed through. You pushed aside the distant footsteps and singing of birds to focus on the one you were really interested in- the close mumbling of an incredibly familiar voice. Mumbles strung themselves together and eventually became words.
‘-and then Steve said it wasn’t as good as the one from the diner around the corner, but he’s only saying that cause he’s got a crush on the girl that works behind the counter there. He knows I’m right, there’s no comparison.’
Your eyelids were still too heavy to push open and your throat was so dry it was painful, but you just about managed to choke out a few words.
‘Are you really talking to your comatose girlfriend about pizza?’
You couldn’t see him, but you could tell by the sound of his voice that he was talking through a wide grin. ‘I ran out of interesting topics hours ago, not my fault you decided to sleep in.’
A chuckle rose up from your stomach and you winced, expecting that pang of pain, but there was nothing. You just about managed to pry an eye open, lolling your head towards Bucky’s voice and trying to focus through the blinding fluorescent light.
‘Are you real?’
‘I’m real.’ His hand came to rest on your face, the sensation sending elated waves through you. ‘You had me scared for a second there, bug. Thought you were a goner.’
The corner of your mouth twitched. ‘I’ve survived worse.’
‘Your chances of survival would be much better if you checked your damn parachutes every once in a while. How many times have I told you?’
‘I don’t even get a minute of consciousness without a guilt trip?’
‘I can go back to talking about pizza, if you’d prefer.’
A single head shake was all you could manage in response to that threat. He chuckled, rising from his chair and leaning over you, thumb stroking over your cheek while he planted a cautiously soft kiss on your forehead.
‘I’m never letting you outta my sight again.’
You raised an eyebrow at him. ‘That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?’
‘No.’
Now you were more grounded in reality, and apparently doped up on a cocktail of pain meds, you managed to push down on the mattress and shift yourself sideways. Bucky’s very concerned frown faded once you patted the bed beside you.
‘Could use some company.’
‘Oh, me too.’ He carefully climbed into the empty space, lowering his head onto the pillow. ‘I haven’t slept well for days.’
‘Wow, must’ve been really hard for you.’
‘It was.’
You watched the teasing smirk fade from his face as he drifted off to sleep, and felt yourself following not long afterwards.—
Best Friend’s Brother (College!AU) Part 4: An Outing
Summary: Y/N goes up to her friend’s ‘summer home’ for spring break to forget about the daily stress of being a student. She’s ready to let loose and have fun, but she wasn’t prepared to meet her friend’s attractive older brother…
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: mild swearing, drinking, sexual inuuendo and themes
Prompt: The reader has been busy and stressed and decides to blow off steam an extra hour after the week comes to a close. Reader over does it but doesn’t take care of herself, leaving Bucky worried.
One shot
Paring: Bucky Barnes x reader
Warnings: Indication of body issues and eating problems
I open the fridge looking for anything that seems appealing. The cloud of fog thickens in my head and my eyelids are heavy. I’m starting to realize my extra time at the gym this morning may have been a mistake. The second mistake is living with a bunch of guys who never have food in the refrigerator.
I grab the contents to make a sandwich and make my way over to the counter. Scratch that, I’m making myself two. I’m not sure what I am putting on the sandwich, as long as it ends up in my stomach who cares.
“Hey doll,” Bucky walks over and kisses my temple from behind.
We’ve been dating for a few months but Steve introduced us years ago. He has been very slow to warm up, but hopefully he knows I’m not going anywhere. When we first met it was almost comical. He barely said a word and hardly looked into my direction. He later admitted that he was afraid of scaring me or hurting me somehow. So he kept his distance, up until we all came back from the blip and Steve left us.
“Sweetheart, you look a little pale.” He comes to the other side of the counter and gets a better look at my face. “Are you feeling okay?”
I feel my energy depleting by the second, but I respond with a nod. If I look this worn out, I couldn’t image how I would sound. I just need to get some food in me and I hope that is enough. Maybe a nap, a nap sounds amazing right now too.
Bucky’s gaze lingers on me for a moment more before leaving my peripheral vision. I hear cabinets open and Bucky wrestling around with crinkling bags. Next, he moves onto the refrigerator. He grabs some of the things I am no longer using and returns them to their spot, and I hear him grab something else as well.
Bucky appears besides me once more and arranges a plate of food. He places a little pile of grapes, along with a thick slice of watermelon. Two hands grab at the sandwiches before me and places them on the plate of fruit.
Before I can even look up at him in protest, Bucky lightly takes his hand in mine and leads me to the couch in the next room. His head nods for me to sit down and I oblige. Bucky places the plate of food on my lap and takes a seat next to me. I knit my eyebrows in confusion but his face gives nothing away. His beautiful eyes flicker to my food and back to my face.
“Okay fine.” I say with a smirk before popping a grape in my mouth. He seems pleased as his posture becomes more relaxed. His fingers twirl some hair hanging from my ponytail and I can feel him silently urging me to eat some more.
“Buck I’m okay.” I plead, but truth is I’m too tired to really convince him.
A few months ago, I had more time to workout and I did. I spent as much time as I did today in the gym 5 days a week. Most of the day following I was pretty tired. I remember going through two or three cups of coffee a day to make it to bedtime. And suddenly it clicks.
“You don’t look okay,” Bucky whispers.
His eyes flicker to mine and I see some of the worry he keeps hidden. I take a bite out of a sandwich. The surge of energy waves through my body almost instantly. I know it isn’t taking effect yet, but if I feel this great already then it is a start. I figured out recently I wasn’t eating enough back then. I felt like I was sleepwalking through the day. I never told anyone because I didn’t want them to worry, I scaled back on my workouts, and made sure I was eating enough for what I was doing. Maybe I wasn’t the only one who noticed I wasn’t eating enough.
I finish eating my plate a lot faster than I anticipated. The dried sweat clings to my skin and clothes to my back. Quickly I excuse myself and run to a shower.
The warmth of the water feels good against my skin. In true girl fashion I grab my shampoo bottle and begin singing along with the tune playing off my phone. The shower is my stage and the sound of the water mimic my cheering fans in the audience. Sam has complained a lot about me using all the hot water. I told him that the show must go on.
Only this time the show may need to be cut short. The music seems to be coming from a distance and my eyes are beginning to feel really heavy. I lean my body against the cold shower wall and find a little comfort in it. The peace only lasts a moment as my body heat replaces it.
On instinct I get out of the shower and grab a towel. I take a seat on the floor and place my head in between my knees the best I can. Taking deep breaths, I find the world come back into view, enough to get myself from the floor and into my bedroom.
I grab the closest things resembling clothes that I can find as the world begins to shift again. Struggling to put them on, I stay on the ground as I decide it is good enough. Closing my eyes, I tell myself I will only stay here for a few minutes and then I’ll go get coffee.
I allow my body to lay a few minutes more after I start to feel better. Letting it soak up as much strength as it can to get me into the kitchen, and hopefully without running into anyone in particular. Except I am not that lucky.
Bucky rounds the corner of my door frame and I nearly knock into him. It takes more strength than I’d like to spare to catch myself and stay balanced. Thankfully there is no spinning, just overwhelming exhaustion. But the next thing I know, my feet are no longer on the ground and two arms cradle me into a toned chest. They set me on my bed and find a nearby blanket to wrap around me.
He doesn’t say anything before he leaves. Bucky doesn’t say a thing and leaves me alone in my bedroom with the door open. If it wasn’t for being so tired, and my bed being comfy, I would have followed him. I would have tried to convince him that I was okay and ask he joined me for another morning snack.
Guilt begins to make its home in the pit of my stomach. Bucky cares so much about me and I can barely take care of myself. It’s selfish, I shouldn’t be worrying him. It is not like I am trying to do this. It was a mistake; one I’ve made before but hasn’t taken this much of a toll on me before. The best way I could describe it is feeling like a stale cookie that has not slept in a week. Well, I guess if cookies slept that would make more sense.
I hear his footsteps down the hall from my door. Maybe he’ll yell at me. That would be better than the silent treatment. At least I would know exactly how he is feeling instead of having to guess.
Bucky enters the room with a tray of food and an unreadable expression upon his features. Great, this will be fun. He carefully places the tray next to me and takes a seat near my feet. I sit up a bit and see that the tray is filled with all of my favorites. Not really caring which one I want first, I grab a random item and start to devour it.
“The last time you looked this pale was months ago.” Bucky breaks me out of my thoughts. I can see him trying to decide if he wants to continue. “I’m worried about you. You started acting like you again once you stopped working out so much. Your eating never changed but you had more energy.”
“Bucky I am eating, see.” I take another bite of the sandwich. Please, I just need him to see that I am okay.
“It isn’t enough.” Bucky sighs and soothingly rubs my feet through the blanket. “If you keep doing this, you’ll have to eat all the time until maybe the afternoon, maybe. I know you and you won’t do that. It will slow you down.”
We sit in silence as I continue to eat. Bucky moves his hands to my calves next and I can feel more of my muscles loosen. His eyes seem far away in thought, not like earlier when he watched me eat. I wonder what he is thinking. I understand that not eating enough is dangerous, but I can’t help but feel like I am eating too much when I do. It has been a constant struggle since I was a teenager, and for the most part I felt like I was doing an okay job up until recently.
I try to imagine what it would be like if the roles were reversed. If I was the one having to beg him to eat enough, or to stop working out quite as much. I paint the picture of us sitting on his bed while I massaged out his muscles while I make him eat a plethora of foods. Seeing him on the ground because he is too exhausted to even crawl to his bed or for help.
“I’m sorry,” my voice comes out course and small. I can sense tears not too far behind.
“I know, doll.” Bucky gives me a little smile and his dazzling eyes find my own.
I finish all the food on the tray and set it to the floor beside the bed. Bucky comes up beside me and helps us both slip in under the covers. I cuddle into his chest and his warm arms engulf me to him. Forever safe in his embrace and it reminds me of things I already knew but needed to be reminded of. Bucky is the best man I could ever ask for… and I need to try to do better, not just for him but for myself too.
Natasha, Wanda, and you were scrolling through TikTok. You were laughing hysterically at the different videos you showed each other when Natasha suddenly started smacking Wanda’s arm and pointing to her phone. Wanda’s eyes grew large and she nodded giggling.
“What are you two hiding?” You smile at the two.
“Watch.” Natasha shows you the video. A headline reading “‘He’s just a friend’ ight then text him ‘lets fuck’ and see what he says” is followed with a video of the responses the TikToker got. Ranging from mean to funny to eager.
Whatever had woken you, whatever the nightmare had been about, had left you with no memory of it but all the emotions coursing through you. Fear, dread, and bitter loneliness tore at your insides. You fled your room, feeling like the walls were closing in on you. For a while, you sat in the common room of the tower trying to calm yourself. Utter exhaustion finally drove you back towards your room. Your arms wrapped around yourself and lost in your thoughts, you made your way quietly.
“Doll, you okay?” comes a low voice.
You see Bucky standing in his doorway and something in you breaks. Shuffling over to him, you press your head to his chest as a sob wracks through you. Immediately his strong arms wrap around you and his voice is in your ear, “You’re okay, Doll. I’ve got you. You’re safe with me.” He holds you until your sob abate and then stands swaying with you and rubbing your back until you feel strong enough to pull away.
“I’m sorry. I… had a nightmare.” You say.
“Don’t apologize for crying.” Bucky pulls you into his room and closes the door, “Do you wanna talk about it?”
“I don’t even remember it. I woke feeling scared and alone and… and… I don’t know. It sounds stupid now that I’ve said it out loud.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“I was gonna try to go back to sleep. What are you doing up?” You wonder why he’s awake at 2am.
“I heard someone walking down the hall and thought I’d check.” Bucky shrugs.
“Oh. Well, I’ll let you get back to sleep. Thanks, Bucky.” You head to his door.
“Anytime, Doll.”
When you reach his door you put your hand on the knob to open it but just end up pressing your forehead to the door. You were loath to leave the warmth of his presence. The loneliness had pulled at you with each step you took towards his door until you felt weighted down by it.
“Doll?” Bucky’s voice is filled with concern.
“I’m sorry.” You say reaching for the knob again.
“Doll.” Bucky’s hand covers yours. “Come on, I’ll hold you until you fall asleep.“ He pulls you to his bed. He lays down and then holds the covers up for you to crawl in. You fought with yourself for a moment, not wanting to invade his space, not wanting to be needy, but one look at his face melted any resistance. He looked at you with such open kindness. You lay down, pressing yourself as close to his body as you can, burying your face in his chest and clinging to his waist. He wraps his arms around you and tangles your legs together. “I won’t leave you alone. Promise.”
“Thank you, Bucky.” You whisper against him.
“Anything you need, Doll. All you ever have to do is ask. I’ll be here for you.” He kisses the top of your head. “Sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
You sat on your bed in tears. It was as you danced with Steve that night at Tony’s party that you had watched over his shoulder as Bucky had left with another woman. Technically, he had every right. The two of you weren’t a couple. You had been sleeping together for seven months and you were desperately in love with him, but he had told you many times he didn’t want a relationship. He never told you why, but he insisted that what was going on between the two of you stay casual. You had agreed but, stupidly, you had fallen for him and watching him take another woman to his bed hurt. You knew he probably had before but he had never done it in front of you.
For my lovely, darling friend, @fandomsaremylifeline I love you and I hope you enjoy!
Bucky and Loki are watching over the class of new recruits when they both pickup on a couple of them having a conversation nearby.
“I was thinking about asking her out,” the male says.
The female scoffs in derision, “You don’t want to do that.”
“Why not?”
“She’s still got her V card. Total prude.”
“At her age? Wow. Must be something wrong there,” he laughs.
“Right?” She laughs as they walk off.
A little while later, you had just finished your circuit and spotted the recruit that had been flirting with you a good bit, “Hey. How’d training go today?”
You wake with a start. The clock reads 3am. Unsure of what woke you, you listen for a few minutes but hear no unusual sounds. Your stomach is knotted. On a whim, you get out of bed and stand in the hallway listening again. It’s then that you hear a faint grunt and the whispered word “no.” You move towards Bucky’s room, realizing he must be having a nightmare, and open the door to silently slip inside.
“Bucky.” You whisper while moving closer to his bed. “Bucky, wake up.” Touching him is a crapshoot and you weigh your options. You say his name louder but when Bucky only continues to grunt and jerk, you put a hand on his shoulder. His eyes fly open feeling the touch and he stares at you wide-eyed and chest heaving. “Hey. It’s me. You’re okay. You were having a nightmare.”
“What was that supposed to mean?” you slowly lowered your book and looked over to Bucky who had just gotten comfortable under the sheets.
“Come on,” he smiled, “it was a joke.”
“It wasn’t funny,” you rolled your eyes and picked up your book again.
You could see from the corner of your eye Bucky was still looking at you, his lips slightly parted, looking like he was in shock you took to joke to heart. “Babe-” he cut himself off by moving closer to you, gently pushing your book down again, “I’m sorry, that was a bad joke,” he shook his head, “I make jokes about that stuff and it’s self-deprecating, when I make it about you I’m being mean to my girlfriend and…” you still hadn’t looked at him, Bucky took a deep breath, “that was really shitty of me to do that.”
“Whatever,” you breathed as you flipped the page.
“It’s not whatever, babe,” Bucky sat up, “I shouldn’t have- hey, look at me,” he took the book more forcefully from your hands, “I’m trying to have a conversation and apologize to you, you can’t just ignore me and read your stupid book, alright?” he shook his head and placed the book on your bedside table.
“Well I don’t want to talk right now,” you picked your book back up, “I wanted to read and you got in my way, you apologized so now I’m back to reading my book.” before you could find your page again Bucky had snatched it, dropping it on the ground.
“We never go to bed mad at each other,” Bucky pressed, shifting his body so he could make eye contact with you, “what else is going on?”
“That’s just a stupid rule to force people to forgive one another when in reality it’s better to wait a while before talking about it,” you crossed your arms.
“Excuse me?” Bucky’s eyebrows quickly furrowed, “since when have I ever forced you to do anything?”
You looked at him for a moment, an answer on the tip of your tongue. You knew if you were going to say it that would lead to a completely different argument, as he looked at you with a knowing look, thinking he’d won, you tried your best to think of a reason to say what you had in mind, all of the scenarios would lead to a larger argument.
“See?” he asked, “nothing, I’ve never forced-”
“You force me to talk about Hydra.”
The room fell silent, Bucky’s lips parted again but in a different kind of shock. That was a massive blow and you could see it on his face he was angry yet sad at the same time, from the look on his face he knew what you were talking about.
“You think I was forcing you?” he whispered, all you could do was nod. “Baby,” he sighed and leaned forward so his head was resting on your stomach, “no…I wanted to help, I-I thought if I could get you to talk about it to someone then you’d feel better and be more open, I never wanted to force you,” he shook his head and turned it so his cheek was pressed against your stomach but he was looking up at you.
“Well, that’s what it felt like,” you whispered and looked up, not trying to look at his puppy dog eyes.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, “fuck, is that why you’ve been distant lately?”
You looked down at him, “I haven’t been distant.”
“Yes you have,” he nodded, circling his arms around you.
“No,” you paused, “I haven’t.”
Bucky sighed and sat up again, “we’re going to get nowhere if you keep denying everything,” he ran a hand down his face, “just understand that I felt you’ve been distant.”
“That’s different from just saying I’ve been distant,” you sat up and looked at him, “I haven’t been distant but if you felt that way then I’ll try and fix it, sometimes I’m tired or I don’t want to be swaddled every single second of my day.”
Bucky whispered, “oh my god,” as he looked away, taking a moment for himself, “that’s so insensitive and you know that, we’ve talked about how I feel better when I’m touching you, I feel grounded and you really want to call me clingy?” he stood up and paced, scoffing every once in a while.
“It was insensitive to say I’m being distant,” you stood up as well, the bed between the both of you.
“How did we get here?” Bucky asked in defeat, letting his arm drop like dead weight.
“Don’t pull that card,” you placed both hands on the bed and lead towards him, “don’t act tired and say we’re going to deal with this tomorrow because we never do, we always push it to the side and act like nothing wrong for a few days and then we’re back here again.”
Bucky just stood on the other side of the bed, dressed in his pyjamas and looking ready for bed. He took a step back so he could lean his body weight on the shared desk in your shared room, arms folded in front of him. “So, what do we do?” he asked calmly.
“We get all of it out, we say everything we’ve been keeping stored up, we say it now.”
“You seem really eager to insult me,” Bucky tilted his head to the side, standing up and walking to the other side of the bed to face you.
“Jesus,” you wiped down your face, “you love to just slightly twist everything around so it fits your narrative, you love to make me look like the bad guy, huh?”
“When have I ever done that?” Bucky didn’t sound tired like he wanted to sleep, he was tired of the conversation.
“Literally two seconds ago,” you scoffed, “I said that couples make that rule to not go the bed angry to force each other to forgive them, then you said ‘when have I ever forced you to do anything?’ well, that’s not what I said,” you looked him deep in the eye, “I never said youforceme to do anything, though I feel that way, I said that rule was used to force other couples, you make me look like the bad guy.” you hands touched your chest, trying to communicate how sure you were of this reason.
“Give me another one,” he said sharply, his upper lip twitching.
“It’ll probably happen in this conversation, so I’ll let you know,” you sneered, “now you go, hit me.”
Bucky shook his head and look up, letting out a deep breath, “you’re too closed off to be in a relationship, I know almost nothing about you, you don’t try to be a girlfriend.” you had nothing to say, just waiting for him to elaborate, “that’s the take, that’s it,” he shrugged, “you’re not open enough to let someone in, I’m trying to understand you, I’m trying to help but every time I get another inch in you shut me out and we’re here again, I just don’t understand what you want from me as your boyfriend.”
“I-” your voice got caught in your throat, “I don’t know.”
“Then what are we doing here?” he asked slowly, there was no anger in his voice, only sadness. “Why are we dating when we should have stayed friends, cuddle buddies,” his voice was filled with sorrow, “I have so much love for you, I want to protect you, and hold you, and tell you everything is going to be okay between us but I can’t,” he sighed and cupped your cheek so you were looking at him, “we’re not a good fit and I hate that we had to fight every day to figure that out.”
You nodded before slowly walking towards him, letting your head fall on his chest so he could hug you, “but I love you so much,” you cried, “I thought I was enough, I thought I was being a good girlfriend, I-I thought I was enough.”
Bucky sighed, “you’ll be enough for someone else, I needed more and I’m sorry.”
You paused for a moment, “that was rude,” you cried, “can you just lie to me now to make me feel better, at least?”
Bucky grew rigid, “leave it to you to pull that while we’re breaking up,” he gently moved you off of him, you looked up to see tears in his eyes; they were going away now from what you said.
You and Bucky stood there for a moment, just looking at each other. Your hands were still balling his sweater as the last tears rolled down your cheeks, you felt empty because he wasn’t wiping them away like he always did, he was just standing there, watching you cry.
“I’m sorry,” he said, “we’re done.”
Something inside you shifted, your eyes dried up and your nose began to scrunch. “I wish I had never met you,” you spoke slowly so he knew you meant it, “I wish I never met you so I wouldn’t have to go through this, I would have to feel so conflicted and stupid.” you stepped forward, “you wanted to become friends with me to get away from Steve-”
“And I thought you were cool.”
“-which makes me a pawn,” you walked past him, opening drawers and picking up your belongings, “I wish I had never met you because of the amount of…hurt I feel in my chest right now…” you took a deep breath, “the amount of anger, sadness, and mixed emotions,” you tried to catch your breath, “I really thought I was good, I really thought we had something here, and I get that it didn’t work…but I just feel really dumb.”
Bucky shook his head, “look, I’m sorry,” he said and it sounded like he meant it, “but there’s nothing we can do, this relationship was a landmine, just waiting to go off.”
“I wish I never met you,” you spat, feeling the anger rise again.
Bucky shook his head in disbelief, “if you never met me then I would still be at Hydra,” he said coldly, “if you had never met me then I wouldn’t have been saved, you really feel that way?” Bucky stood in front of the things you were trying to pack.
“There,” you whispered.
“What?” he tilted his head, upper lip twitching again.
“You did it again,” an evil smirk grew on your face, “I never said I wanted to leave you at Hydra, you know me well enough to know I’d never wish the pain of Hydra on anyone. But to make you look like the good guy you had to make me look like the villain,” you pushed past him to stack more shirts, “the fact that you would eventhinkI’d get some sick joy from the idea of leaving you at that Hydra facility makes me physically ill.” you leaned forward, punctuation your sentence.
“You are so infuriating,” Bucky spoke through clenched teeth.
“And you’re a piece of shit!” you screamed, “you’re a massive asshole who flips the truth and makes me look like the crazy girlfriend who wants her boyfriend to still be getting tortured!” tears collected in your eyes as you spoke, “I’m-” you gasped for air, “I’m notcrazy.”
Bucky stood there and nodded, “I never said you were,” he said softly.
“Fuck you,” you leaned in a pressed one finger to his chest, “you can keep the room, it’s closer to Steve anyway,” tears rolled down your cheeks as you walked past him, going to your drawers and picking up all your clothes.
“But this was originally your room,” Bucky turned and looked at you, “I can move out.”
“No,” you sniffled, “I’m moving out of this stupid compound.”
“You’re being dramatic,” Bucky scoffed, “you’re so dramatic.”
Your hands froze and you stood still, “Friday?” you asked, “turn on soundproofing.” after a click you looked at Bucky, “I am not dramatic,” you walked over to him, though the soundproofing was on you had not started to yell, “I’m being broken up with.”
“Are you going to scream at me?” he asked quietly but darkly.
“If I’m prompted,” you looked him up and down before walking back to your pile of clothes on the bed, you sorted through what was actually Bucky’s and what was yours. Once you had your clothes you went to the bathroom, Bucky followed and stood at the doorway, his arms crossed in front of him.
“Are you quitting?”
“No,” you shook your head, “I’m going to take a vacation, some time off, and then move back in when I feel I’m ready,” you tried your best to sound find but tears kept streaming down your face, it also didn’t help that Bucky could see you with the mirror. “I need some time to breathe and just time alone, I think.”
“Okay,” Bucky nodded and looked down, “your shaving cream is under the sink,” he said quietly when you looked like you were about to finish packing in the bathroom.
“Thanks,” you whispered as you leaned down, picking up the shaving cream and placing it into a bag with your other toiletries. “I’m going to go now,” you whispered and looked up at him, Bucky was also beginning to cry.
“I’m sorry,” his voice gave out on him, “I’ll always love you, just know that.”
You nodded, “if you ever need a cuddle buddy,” both of you smiled through tears in your eyes, “you can always count on me.”
Bucky sniffled and looked up at the ceiling, “fuck,” he whispered. Where he was standing in the doorway was blocking you from leaving, you stood ready to leave but he didn’t move. “I just can’t let you go,” he laughed through the tremendous pain, “I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N.”
“Me too,” your lips pursed together as you looked at him, a sob was about to erupt but you knew you could cry that hard around him, “me too…” you repeated and took a step forward but Bucky still didn’t move, “Bucky, I…” you looked up to see him staring at you deeply.
“What happened to you at Hydra?” he whispered, his hand coming up to cup your cheek, “how badly did they hurt you, baby?” the pet name was second nature to him and you saw his face shift when he realized what he had called you.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” you shook your head with a whisper, “it’s too much.”
“Alright,” he nodded and dropped his hand, “one last hug?” his arms open wide.
You shook your head and his face fell, “you called me dramatic, you called me insensitive, you twisted my words,” you shook your head and physically moved him so you could get through, “if I hug you I’m going to stay and believe there’s a way we can work this out, I’m so used to us fighting and not really making up; I’m not doing that again.” you placed the toiletry bag in the suitcase you had your clothes in, “I’ll fall back in love with you if I hug you again and I just can’t let you win.”
Another hit to Bucky sent tears to his eyes, “get out,” His voice shook.
You nodded and left, walking down the hallway and passing people who had no idea what you had just gone through, they smiled and waved and you did the same; hoping no one could see your red eyes and puffy face. You’d send an email tomorrow making up some random excuse for why you had to take some time off, even though you had a massive fight with Bucky doesn’t mean his name would get thrown around the compound.
It was late so hotels were letting people check in, you had not reserved a room because you didn’t know this would be the last night with Bucky. The end was near, he was right about the relationship being a land mine, both of you weren’t good for one another but it seemed neither of you could pull the shoot because of how much platonic love you offered to the other.
You checked in and wheeled your suitcase to the third floor, finding your room and using the key to unlock it. There was one large bed and a desk, you dropped your bag and flopped on the bed, already in clothes you’d sleep in. after getting under the sheet you curled into a ball, letting yourself freely cry. Your arms circled around yourself as you sobbed into the pillow, almost screaming a few times and you remembered your time with Bucky.
There were good parts, you’d gone on dates and watched movies together; typical boyfriend-girlfriend things. But you knew there were also bad parts like arguments and Bucky apologizing when he’d wake you up from a nightmare, which would always lead to a conversation in the morning which would lead to an argument.
Your arms held the firm pillow as you wept in it, trying to imagine Bucky’s chest under your cheek. You knew you could no longer think of him when you needed comfort, he offered help but you would never take it. You just wanted his touch and his love, you didn’t need anything else.
Maybe that was your issue, all you wanted was a rock or someone to lean on while Bucky wanted an actual relationship. Yes, you wanted a relationship with him but maybe your definitions were different and that was what lead you on this path. That would make it neither of your faults, but there was blame on both parties, it would be selfish of you to think it was all his fault.
Your phone buzzed and you were too quick to pick it up, Bucky had texted you.
Bucky: Hey, just making sure you’re safe at whatever hotel you’re at, I talked with Tony and there’s a room on the floor above our room, if you ever want to come back to the compound just know your room will be open and I’ll take the one in the floor above. Please don’t think you have to stay there all the time, please come back whenever and let me know so I can make sure to give you space. It’s gonna be awkward at the beginning but I know we both will be professional if we pass each other in the halls or get scheduled together for a mission, if I ever make you uncomfortable just tell me, I want to try and rekindle a friendship at some point because I still really care about you. You don’t need to answer all of this, just let me know you’re somewhere safe. Bucky.
You read the text over and over, every time you’d read it it would get hard with your eyes blurring from tears.
You: thank you, I’m safe at a hotel. Don’t know when I’ll come back. Thank you for everything, Bucky, thank you.
You dug your face in your pillow as you pressed send, crying uncontrollably until you heard the buzz that he had texted back.
Bucky: sweet dreams
As your eye fell heavy and your tears ran out you realized you only had one regret:
You should have kicked him out instead of leaving.
The blue light from the screen burned your eyes, there was crust forming around your lashes and in your tear ducts. Your back was bent forward at an ungodly angle, it cracked whenever you sat up straight to take a second to breathe. There was typing and clicking all around the room, Steve and Sam were muttering a conversation out of courtesy for everyone else typing.
You, Steve, and Sam were all working on the same thing, you were writing a mission. Steve had come to you and Sam privately to plan and execute a mission, he had gotten the green light from his superior but wanted to keep the mission a secret. You three were going to break Bucky out from a Hydra base.
You’d never met the Winter Soldier before, he had never crossed paths with your work. After Steve approached you saying he found where he was you felt as though needed to tag on, the relief but fear in Steve’s face convinced you this was a big deal to him.
It was weird, you had never run into Bucky but both of you were taken captive by Hydra at some point. Two years ago you were outnumbered and decided to surrender yourself instead of taking a bullet between the eyes, the Hydra agents threw you into a cell and beat you bloody for information that you never gave. Now, you didn’t have control over your powers, lightning shot out of you randomly and when you’d touch an energy source you’d burn it out. They found it interesting but they didn’t know how to control it either, half the time you’d burn their breaker box and leave them without light for a few days.
Now you could control it, creating energy at the snap of a finger. You liked lightning the best, it was easy and seemed to kill most of your enemies. On top of that, you could also control the environment, you still knew how to fry an energy source to an entire building but now with more control.
You still had scars from your time at Hydra, most of the slashes healed but you’d wake up from nightmares the odd time. No matter who Hydra held captive, they branded them. A skull with tentacles was held under a flame until the metal turned red, then it would be shoved anywhere visible on your body. Yours was on the side of your thigh from curling up in the corner and trying to cover as much as possible.
After that, you stuck to breaking down trafficking circles or smaller organized crime. You never wanted to run the risk of dealing with those people again, and it seemed cartels and trafficking strip clubs weren’t being taken care of. Steve came to you for your knowledge of Hydra and how they keep their prisoners, he gave you multiple chances to take breaks or leave if it got too much.
“I think that’s all we can do,” Steve stood up, two empty mugs in his hands. You and Sam nodded, Steve sighed and rolled out the kink in his neck, “just prepare yourself for something to go wrong, that is always with Hydra. I know we’ve been planning and all that but Hydra likes to screw with us, get ready for it.” Steve looked between the two of you before walking out, taking the rest of the mugs from beside you.
“I’m calling it in as well,” Sam stood up and cracked his back, with one loud pop he groaned and almost fell over, “you should too, out of all of us you need the sleep.”
“I know,” you shrugged as Sam patted your shoulder.
After Sam left you were left in the computer room alone with your thoughts. It was four in the morning and you’d be taking off at seven, the planning didn’t mean to take this long. You stood as well after shutting down the computer, the overhead lights were off and after the blue light from the computer went out you were left in the dark. With a sore back, you slowly walked to your room, one arm supporting you against the wall as you walked.
Flopping back onto your bed you threw one arm under your pillow, looking at the ceiling and picturing everything that could go wrong during the mission. You knew there was a risk of you getting captured again, that was the one risk that scared you. If they saw your branding symbol you knew they would pull all the past documents about you and continue to try and harvest your powers. You could control them now and that meant they might be able to control them as well.
The dawn came faster than expected, you could feel the sun creeping into your room but got up before you let it hit your face. Your suit was dark blue, some argued navy, and was made by Banner to store energy better. You didn’t know much of the science behind it, all you knew was that it looked cool in action and you felt like a badass.
Your combat boots clomped as you walked out on the grass and to the jet, little spikes on the bottom of your shoes crushing a few dandelions on the way over. It was a spring morning, you could smell the dew the second you walked outside. Steve and Sam were already there, Sam was trying to lighten the mood but Steve wasn’t having it, he stood there and fiddled with his shield. You all walked in and waited for a debrief from Rogers, Sam gave you a couple of looks to not joke around with Steve.
“I will go get Bucky,” Steve finished his speech off, “he might become hostile towards you guys, he might know me so I have to be the one.”
“Copy,” you nodded.
It seemed like your thinking was a blur until you were stationed outside of the building, your mind was so focused on not getting captured again you barely heard anything coming through your coms. All three of you entered at the same time, guns pointed and ready in front of you. You heard gunshots from around the corner, you sprinted over to find Steve and Sam fighting off many Hydra agents.
“Glad you’ve joined the party!” Sam yelled, expanding his wings to knock out two agents at once.
“I’m fashionably late!” you called back and began fighting, lighting hopped around your suit to show it was filled with energy to use.
Anyone who touched you got electrocuted, their hair stood up and a black burn would show up on their face. It didn’t take much to knock someone out, you’d typically have to shock them again with your energy to kill them.
The agents poured in from every angle, you moved from fighting one person to four in a matter of seconds. With your com in your ear and your team in the same hallway, you could hear them struggling.
“Shit!” you felt a knife slip down your arm and your thigh, one fluid motion cutting you deeply.
“We need a different plan!” Sam yelled.
“I’m gonna count down from three and when I say ‘now’ you have to jump and not touch anyone, got it?” You screamed over the gunfire and grunts, the one thing Hydra agents couldn’t do was aim.
“We’ve barely practiced this!” Steve shouted.
“Do you want Bucky or not?” after yelling back Steve didn’t respond, “three, two, one, now!” at the signal your fists slammed hard against the ground, a ripple of lightning ran through every agent who was on the ground, they all froze at the same time. You pushed out all that was left, screaming as the flashes of your time at Hydra painted your mind. The amount of energy running through them left the agents twitching for seven seconds; enough to kill them.
It was dead silent after you stopped, no one was groaning or slowly trying to get up. When you got to your feet you saw Steve cradled in Sam’s arms as Sam suspended in the air, a look of shock between the two of them. Sam slowly moved to the ground, Steve latched his shield to his back and couldn’t close his mouth.
Before Sam could say anything he got an alert from his wrist, “Redwing spotted some people running with paperwork, we gotta go get them.”
“I’ll-” you were cut off.
“Go get Bucky,” Steve walked over, “I’ll take the runaways.”
“But Bucky is your friend,” you looked at Sam to see the same confused reaction.
“And Hydra is your enemy,” Steve patted your shoulder, “you should be the one, plus,” he cracked a smile, “you’ve already shown off too much.”
“But Steve-”
“Go,” he cut you off again, “I’ll meet you at the jet.”
After looking in a few pockets you found some keys, they looked important. You just nodded before running back to the way you came in, there was a little door off to the side you hadn’t seen before. Slowly, your hand opened the door. Right before you were about to close it you heard a scream. A guttural and heartbreaking scream, the kind of scream you physically cringe at, it was painful, which only meant it belonged to Bucky.
You ran down the corridor, there were twists and turns but you didn’t stop. You used the blood coming from your wound to mark your path, giving you a good chance of getting out. There were empty cells everywhere, no one was around at all. The further you got into the hallways to louder the scream began, on the last turn you heard it loud and clear.
Right at the very end of the hallway, on the right housed the Winter Soldier. He was curled in the corner with his hands over his ears, screaming as loud as he could. You couldn’t see his left arm, it was being shielded by his body.
“I found Bucky,” you spoke into your com, your voice taking him out of his trance.
The man whipped his head around, a pure look of horror on his face. He quickly began sputtering apologies, “I didn’t do anything, I’ve been here, I don’t- I didn’t do anything!” tears rushed down his face, “I swear I’ll be good, please, please, I’ll be good!”
You crouched down to his level, your hand stuck through the small openings between the poles on his cell door. “I don’t work for Hydra,” you whispered, he still looked confused, “I’m here with my friends and someone you know to get you out of here,” you smiled and kept your hand out, “Bucky, your friend Steve is here.”
“Steve?” he immediately sat up, “Steve?” he said again with more hope. You nodded quickly, with a slow hand you pulled the keys out. The sound of the door unlocking seemed to frighten Bucky a bit but you eased him back down, slowly pulling the door open. Your hand was out again, this time with easier access for him to grab.
“Is this a test?” he pushed himself further into the wall, “I don’t want to get wiped again, I promise I don’t know anything,” his voice was shaking.
“I’m here to help you,” your hand got closer to him.
He stood up on his own, fully facing you. His left shoulder was riddled with scars and the open wounds were dripping pus and blood, they must have reopened and gotten infected. Bucky seemed to be coward on his left side, trying to hide it. You just waved him to walk out, finding your blood trail again and slowly making your way out of the twisted hallways. One arm would reach back to push Bucky in the center of your back, he was also crouching like you were. Your gun was out in front, whipping around the corner just in case.
“I’ve secured Bucky, we’re heading out now,” you spoke strongly but quietly into your com.
“Don’t take the way you went in, there are tons of bodies and that will trigger him,” Steve answered, “take a left immediately after leaving the cell hallway and then take two rights and you’re out.”
“Copy,” you looked down at the trail and took your final turn, “Falcon, where are you?”
“I’m clearing the walkout, take your time because they seem to keep popping up out of nowhere,” Sam grunted, “most of them are down but there are still bodies out here, make sure he closes his eyes-”
“Don’t do that!” Steve yelled, “make sure he has all his senses.”
“Copy and copy,” you took a left instead of a right, the existing door was a few steps away. Bucky was still behind you, he seemed to move to stealth move as well, when you turned to talk to him he was watching your back, walking backwards with his left arm ready. “Hey, Bucky,” you whispered.
He turned around, “what?” his head kept whipping over his shoulder.
“We’re going to talk outside, there are bodies out there but we’re taking you to the jet and we’re taking you to our home, alright?” your hand was on the door handle and after he nodded you opened it.
The light poured in as you walked out, you managed a few steps before turning around and seeing Bucky standing there. He was shoeless and shirtless, his pants were ripped into shorts so most of his body was exposed. The spring sun reflected off his body and arm, he was taking a moment and letting the rays absorb into his skin. His eyes were squinty as well, most missions for him were done at night and his cell wasn’t lit up. when he started walking again one hand curved with his forehead to help him see, every time you’d look back he was looking around with barely open eyes.
Hydra agents were rolling around on the ground, groaning in pain. Some were dead, blood staining the green grass. Once you were at the jet you couldn’t see any bodies, just the shadow of Bucky behind you.
“I’m at the jet,” you helped him walk up the ramp, “I’m bringing him in.”
Bucky stood timidly at the bottom of the ramp, his arms crossed tightly around himself to soothe him. His eyes were scanning around, leaning in ever so slightly to try and see everything in the jet. A loud bang sent him pacing back a few steps, whipping his head to his left and seeing Steve and Sam run over. You walked back down the ramp and waved them over, sneaking a few glances at Bucky.
Steve stood there and caught his breath as he looked at Bucky, “you remember me?” Steve asked, clenching his jaw.
Bucky’s eyebrows pulled tight, his bottom lip was being gnawed on. “Um,” his voice cracked, “yeah,” he whispered, “I- I saw you on the bridge, right?” Bucky slowly looked at Sam, “and you were there,” both of them began to nod, “and after I said I remembered you, I knew you.”
“You do know me,” Steve smiled.
“And then they tried to wipe me but I don’t think it worked,” Bucky looked over at you, “I played it off like I had forgotten everything but nothing had changed, I don’t know why but I do know Steve.”
Sam crossed his arms, “you’ve never met Y/N but she was once captured by Hydra, we brought her-”
“We don’t need to get all into that,” you quickly cut him off and walked everyone onto the jet.
You took a seat and found a first aid kit, taking some gauze and making sure the cuts on your arm and leg were healing properly. As you tended to your wounds you heard Sam and Steve sit, Steve sat in the piolet seat and Sam sat across from you. Your head was down as you pushed on the gauze, sometimes closing your eyes at the sting.
“Take a seat, Buck,” Steve said.
You looked up to see Bucky standing by the end of the jet, his arms still crossed in front of his chest. Bucky slowly nodded and took the seat beside you, you could feel the warmth radiating off of him. Your cut was on the arm closest to him so you could see him staring at you through the corner of your eye, part of you wanted to look up but the other part was thinking he might get embarrassed. When you moved to your leg to reassess but you still felt his gaze, very slowly you looked up at him.
“Sorry,” he whispered and looked down at his hands, “I just-…sorry.”
“Do you want me to clean out the scars on your arm?” You pointed to his left arm, the one closest to you. “They look infected and I’m going to guess it hurts?”
Bucky shrugged, “nothing really hurts anymore,” his right hand came up and gently pressed against his left scarring, you could see him wince but you knew he was trying to cover it.
“Hey,” you gently removed his right hand and held up a water bottle with a squirt top, “just water, won’t sting.” you held it up and aimed it down, after seeing him nod you began pressing on the water bottle and letting a stream of water flush out his scars. He didn’t seem to mind it, there wasn’t a reaction. After the water washed most of the gunk out you pulled out a small square packet, tared it open and gently pulled out a wipe. “So this is a little disinfectant wipe,” you opened the sheet, “can I wipe your arm?”
Bucky looked at it for a second, by now the scent of alcohol must have burned his nose as it did yours. He flinched back for a second before leaning back in, holding his hand out. “I’ll do it,” he took the sheet from your hand and began wiping around the scars, patting it on the deeper part to make it sting less.
“Great job,” you nodded, quickly checking back on your cuts which were fine. You look up to see him holding out the wipe to you, silently asking you to take it. “Thanks,” you took it back and threw it in the trash, along with other used wrappers and gloves that you had used.
It was silent after that, all four of you sat comfortably as the jet got closer to the compound. Steve flew the entire time, checking over his shoulder once and a while to smile at Bucky or give him a little reassurance. You stayed where you were the entire time, for the bulk of the time you were picking the fried edges of your suit. You’d never done that long shock before, you normally don’t hold the lightning for more than three seconds so seven seconds did a number on your suit. It also did a number on your energy, a few times your eyelids closed for a moment but a moment turned into ten minutes.
At one point your head lulled to the side and touched Bucky’s metal shoulder, he jerked back three seats and cupped his shoulder with his right hand. You quickly woke up and offered apologies, “I can’t believe I just did that, I’m so sorry, I’m just really tired and I probably freaked you out, I’m so sorry.”
Bucky scooted back to beside you, his eyes looking at the ground and sometimes at you. “It’s okay,” he muttered for only you to hear, “thank you for apologizing.”
You just tilted your head over, a sad look on your face, “of course.”
********
For around two weeks Bucky stayed in his room, only allowing Steve to go in and talk or bring food. One day Bucky came running out of his room, screaming for Steve. You were sitting in the common room and Steve had met him halfway in the kitchen, earshot from you.
Bucky had tears streaming down his face, his hands pulled Steve in for a hug. Steve stood in shock for a moment before hugging Bucky back, his own tears gathering.
“Coney Island,” Bucky cried, “Dalorise, my sister Rebecca, my mom Winnie, your mom Sarah,” Bucky jumped up and down, “the Howling Commandos, don’t do anything stupid until I get back!” Bucky wiped his tears but they were quickly replaced.
Steve was in shock, a good kind of shock, “how can I?” Steve’s voice was thick with tears, “you’re taking all the- I can’t, just hug me again.” Steve wrapped Bucky up and the two grown men cried together in the kitchen.
You just sat there from the couch and watched them sway back and forth, you could tell they were talking but you couldn’t hear anymore. Your book rested open on your chest to mark the page, the mug of tea beside you slowly lost its steam. You just sat there and watched them, a long-lost friendship starting to make its way back.
After that Bucky stayed in his room for a few more days, but he was changing now. Steve was also changing, his topic of conversation always flowed back to Bucky. Sometimes you were just making lunch and Steve would walk in and start talking as if you asked how the two of them were doing, at one point you put headphones in and Steve kept talking.
It was difficult to see a friend slowly start to drift, you no longer sparred with Steve. You had been kicked to the punching bag while Bucky and Steve play fought each other, laughing as they talked about the past. You were stuck at a crossroad, part of you missed your friend but the other part knew that this was what Steve was looking for all this time, he needed a moment to just breathe in the happiness of finally getting Bucky back.
You were currently kneeling by the coffee table, a puzzle had been started and a sticky note was left next to it asking for anyone and everyone to try and help put it together. Your hair was pulled back so you could see all the pieces, puzzles weren’t your best skill but you still enjoyed taking part. With a soft gasp, you placed the final edge piece together, there was now a border to work with.
“That’s smart,” a voice came from above. You looked up to see Bucky standing at the other end of the coffee table, “I took a shot at this a while ago and had convinced myself that no pieces worked,” he cracked a smile, it looked forced.
You just nodded and picked up another piece, connecting it to an open slot. “I just always did it this way,” you snapped another piece and then looked up to see Bucky had kneeled.
Bucky managed to put a few pieces together, he had a habit of scratching his stubble before letting out a little sound of him being stumped. “Hey, um,” he started talking but quickly stopped to let out a cough, “I…I never got a chance to thank you for that mission,” he clenched his jaw, “and for cleaning out my arm, it’s still red but getting all the stuff out made it heal faster, so…thank you.” Bucky smiled but this time it looked real, which meant it wasn’t as expressive.
“No worries,” you sighed, snapping another two pieces together, “I hope you’re liking it here, I bet Steve’s been a real help.” there was no sarcasm to your tone.
“Yeah,” Bucky sucked a breath in, “he’s been really great but I feel like he’s keeping me tucked away, y’know?” Bucky reached out and connected another piece, “I really want to get to know some other people, like you.” he quickly added.
“Why me?” you looked up and rested your chin on your hand.
“Because,” Bucky laughed.
You just shook your head, “great answer,” this time the sarcasm was obnoxious.
“Alright,” Bucky rolled his eyes, “because I think you’re very cool and I talked with that birdman,” he paused to let you laugh, leaning back and clutching your stomach as you cackled, “and Sam said you were really nice and that if I ever wanted to talk about Hydra I can go to you.”
You sucked in a breath when he brought up Hydra, “well, thank you for that,” you pulled your lips into a thin line, “and I’m always open to listen but there are some things with Hydra that I don’t want to talk about.”
“Me too,” Bucky nodded, “but just the overall stuff, like the nightmares.”
“The nightmares,” you repeated back, “I used to go cuddle with Natasha after a nightmare but she’s with her family right now.”
Bucky’s eyebrows raised but he caught himself and lowered them, “well, um, do you want to make a mutual…cuddle agreement?” Bucky thought through what he was saying, his face getting red by the end of his proposal.
“Mutal cuddle agreement?” You laughed as you repeated, “I mean, what’s the harm?”
“That’s what I was thinking,” Bucky smiled.
“You’ve been thinking about cuddling with me?” a smirk grows on your lips as Bucky freezes, his hand that was reached out to grab a piece was now frozen. He stayed like that for a couple of seconds, “I was kidding-” the words died down as Bucky stands up quickly, you can see shame written all over his face. “Bucky,” you stood up as well, “I’d love to agree to the cuddle thing, what’s going on?” You walked around the coffee table but after a few steps, Bucky began walking away.
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he muttered right as he was rounding the corner.
“No,” you jogged a few steps and managed to stand in front of him, “Bucky, I was just joking around, I’m sorry, really, I really am,” he had stopped walking by now, his eyes slowly moving up your body.
“You’re not…uncomfortable?” Bucky looked over his shoulder and down the hall, making sure no one was around.
“I would love a new cuddle buddy,” you held your hand out, “and I’m sorry I made that joke, I wasn’t thinking about how you’d react and that’s on me.”
His eyes stayed fixed on your hand, your palm facing up. It looked like he didn’t know what to do, or how to connect his hand to yours. Slowly, his hand found its way to yours, his palm sliding against yours. He smiled through the handshake, his eyes gleaming at the human contact.
Bucky slowly back away, a smile beginning to reach his eyes. “Okay,” he breathed a sigh of relief, “we’re buddies.”
Before he was fully gone you called his name, “Bucky!” he whipped around, “I have one rule though and I’m serious,” he came walking back, the smile slowly disappearing. “Before you come into my bed you need to wake me up and tell me you’re Bucky, I’ll do the same for you. I need to know who’s in my room or I…” you sucked in a breath, “I’ll…”
“I understand,” Bucky nodded, “I’ll announce myself clearly for you, alright? No sneaking.”
“No sneaking,” you smiled and watched as he walked away.
A small laugh erupted from your lip when you saw him pump his fist in the air, probably thinking you had left the hallway as well, there was a little skip he did before turning the corner. When you made it back to the puzzle you couldn’t focus on it anymore, you could only feel his hand in yours.
********
Ever since then you and Bucky came into contact more often than before. He was adjusting well to the compound, though some agents weren’t fond of his presence Bucky didn’t care. It had been around a month since he moved in, two weeks since the proposition to be cuddle buddies.
You didn’t get nightmares too often and when Nat was home you got them a lot but there were fewer things to trigger you these days. Part of you felt bad you couldn’t fulfill your promise to snuggle with the broody man but at the same time, he didn’t come into your room either. Bucky had told you the cream he was putting on his scarring had some hormone in it that knocked him out every night, he slept with his shirt off and the smell seemed to lull him to sleep. Both of you were happy you did need each other help because that meant you weren’t having nightmares. But you kept going with the ‘buddy’ aspect of the deal.
In the gym, you’d go over and say hello, most of the time finding him to be your spotter because you didn’t know anyone else. Later he started to ask you to spot for him and teach a few of your sparring moves, this led to him finding out about your powers. He was winning but when you’d punch him back you’d shock him as if you had rubbed sock-covered feet on the carpet for a while and then touched him, to say he was confused was an understatement. In the end, you showed him the sparks and the lightning, using little to no power for safety reasons.
“That’s sick,” he said and reached up to touch your hand, “can you zap people and see their skeleton, like in the cartoons?” he was in awe as he asked.
You just laughed a shook your head, “no, I can’t go that far, I’ve never tried.”
Bucky covered his mouth with a laugh again, “I see something new every day with this place and I’m not mad,” he just sat and watched you play with the energy, sending it back and forth or moving it around your body.
That gym friendship moved out of the weight room. After a workout, you asked him to come to the city but he said no, that was too busy for him. So you went out and got the protein shakes yourself, finding him at the coffee table with a new puzzle waiting for you. The shakes were a treat, they were expensive so you didn’t get them after every workout like other agents. Protein shakes turned into questions about different eras, those questions turned into movie marathons on your days off.
This was when the cuddling began, all the blankets were getting washed because Sam spilled his coffee somehow across all of them. You and Bucky were working through old westerns, it was your third movie and the lack of blankets caused you to shiver. Bucky picked up on it and tapped the spot beside him, you moved closer and soon your head was against this chest and his right arm was around your shoulder. When the movies got redundant and the music was the same Bucky slowly started to slouch down the couch, pulling you down with him. Both arms were pulling you into his side, there was no way you could get out on your own. When you heard snoring coming from above you, it didn’t take long for you to fall asleep as well, pushing your head right into his neck to smell his body wash.
A few team members walked and snapped photos of the two of you, getting ugly angles on Bucky with his head back and his mouth slightly open. When you woke up the next day still on the couch Bucky was bright red, trying to slide away so he could run to his room. The lack of sleep you’d been getting made you crave more of his comfort, so as he tried to move away you stayed hugging him.
“Comfy…” you slurred as your head moved down to his chest, your hand locking together.
“We gotta get up,” his voice was shaky, he hadn’t been this close to a girl in years.
“No,” you whined like a child, nuzzling your face deeper into his chest.
A little while later Steve walked in, you could see him but you heard him freeze. “What are you doing?” he asked Bucky.
“We fell asleep, she’s real tired so…I’m letting her get some shut-eye,” Bucky’s hand made its way to your back and soothed you closer to sleep.
“I-I didn’t know you guys were close,” Steve’s voice had little to no emotion.
“Well,” Bucky sighed, “I just told her I wanted to get to know her better, and here we are.”
********
Your eyes were hardly open as you stood on the landing pad, the Jet was getting packed. A large jacket was thrown over your shoulders as you waited in the drizzle. The sun wasn’t up yet and neither were you, part of you was still lying in bed.
It was an emergency solo mission, there was a breakthrough in a case you thought ended months ago. It had nothing to do with Hydra, it was a trafficking circle that went underground after almost getting caught by you. Most of the women involved were teenagers, all of them just wanting to attend a normal university. You’d run into him once before, this trafficking ring played cat and mouse all the time. You had walked into his strip club and sat down near him, after a while, he came over. He knew who you were and visa versa, but the two of you just talked about the strip club and the expensive lights he had just installed. As you got up to leave he commented on you being the perfect person for a stripper, you wanted to make sure he knew you weren’t messing around, so when you walked out and found the main console for all the lights, all it took was one touch and the entire room went dark. The console smoked for a while, your electricity frying all the hardware.
An agent gave you a nod, you began walking towards the ramp to walk up the jet but were stopped when you heard your name.
“Wait up!” the familiar voice called. You turned to see Bucky running up to you, “here, take this coffee.”
You slowly grabbed the travel mug, “it’s four in the morning, why are you up?”
“Something didn’t feel right so I went to check on you and you weren’t there,” Bucky panted, he had obviously been running for a while, “and I found an agent and they said you were leaving and I know you don’t like mornings so I made you a coffee.”
“Let’s go!” the pilot yelled.
“Thank you,” you ignored the interruption, “I really appreciate it.”
“Ya, it’s nothing” Bucky shrugged, “- I mean, I was something, like, I’m happy you have coffee but I’d do it all the time for you,” he quickly backtracked.
“You’re sweet,” you whispered before leaning up and leaving a kiss on his cheek. When you pulled away he was frozen but his face progressively got more red, and his ears were burning. “I’ll see you soon,” you turned and walked away.
“Ya…” was all he could breathe out, the shock still etched in his face.
As the jet took off you looked out the window to see Bucky still standing on the landing pad, you could see his blush from the air. His eyes looked forward as his left hand caressed his cheek where you had kissed it, a small bounce coming from him before running back inside.
********
The mission was quick, the trafficking ring had no idea you were coming so your ambush was quick and easy. The authorities were also thereafter you gave them a tip, you helped all the women get to women’s shelters after getting medical treatment.
“Let me see him,” you talked to the head office, he let you into the interrogation room.
Jacob ‘Scar’ Clowne was the owner of one of the biggest strip clubs in the city, they advertised their young women who were actually trafficked into the business. When you saw him sitting on the other side of the table he smiled at you, you had been chasing him for a long time.
“You finally caught me,” he smirked, “I’m proud.”
You didn’t even sit down, “I don’t need any congratulations,” you crossed your arms as you circled him, “I just needed to see you and know for sure that you were really locked up.”
“Well you see me,” Jacob said.
“Then my job here is done,” you reached out a pressed your palm to his shoulder, sending a shock through his entire body, not strong enough to kill or even hurt him; just wanting to throw him off.
********
But while your mission went great, Bucky was struggling back at the compound. Steve kept asking about your and his relationship and what it was, Bucky confessed to Steve that he liked you.
“I don’t know,” Bucky sighed, “I just want to be near here all the time, she makes me feel…soft,” Bucky giggled as he stared into space, “I miss her though.” Steve crossed his arms, “she’ll be back soon.”
Bucky’s nightmares were getting worse, he’d wake up in a cold sweat at the tail end of a scream. He’d walk into your room and announce himself but no one was there, the sleepiness would fade and he’d remember you were gone. To try and keep himself from breaking down because he was without you he’d lay in your bed, cuddle up to your pillows and try and remember what it was like for you to be cuddled next to him.
*******
The jet landed in the middle of the night and you slowly got out, making your way through Med Bay to get cleared and then to your bed. Your eyelids were closing as you walked, leaning against the wall to keep you upright.
Your room was still and quiet when you walked in, you could tell from the way your bed wasn’t made Bucky had been sleeping in your bed; you’d ask him about it tomorrow. Part of you wanted to wake him up and tell him you were home but the other half was too tired. Will the little energy you had left, you took a quick shower to wash off all the dirt and grime; saving you from changing your bedsheets tomorrow.
A lazy smile grew on your face when you stretched out on your bed, feeling the soft sheets hug your body. A few moans of relief left your lips as you curled into a ball, savouring the feeling of this comfort. Sleep came quickly as well, your exhaustion taking over very quickly.
When you woke up it was not the morning, it was still the nighttime. It didn’t take you long to register a weight behind you, your tiredness went away and you were back in mission mode.
“What the-” the voice spoke as you spun around with a ball of energy in your fist, you had pulled it back and were ready to land the punch, “it’s Bucky!” he said quickly.
The power slowly died down and you lean over to turn on the lap, causing it to shine really bright for a few seconds before going back to normal. Bucky also looked tired, he was laying on his back with both hands in a surrendering position.
At this point you were fully exhausted, tears gathered in your eyes, “Bucky…” you sighed as you leaned forward, letting your head fall on his chest, both of his arms wrapped around you, “I told you to tell me you were laying with me.” the tear rolled onto his chest, all you wanted was to sleep.
“You wouldn’t wake up,” Bucky said sadly, “I tried to move you awake but you were out like a light, I thought you wouldn’t notice me because of how deeply you were sleeping.” His hand quickly brushed away another tear that had fallen.
“Oh,” you sighed and turned the lamp off, still laying on his chest.
“Oh,” he repeated, “we haven’t had a chance to cuddle like this before,” Bucky smiled as you curled around him, needing comfort.
“Yeah,” you smiled, “the whole ‘cuddle buddy’ thing didn’t really work out,” you laughed through the last tears of exhaustion.
“Well, I asked you to be my cuddle buddy because I wanted to get away from Steve, he was circling me all the time and I wanted some new friends,” Bucky’s hand rubbed your back, lulling you further into sleep.
“He just cares about you,” you muttered.
“I know,” Bucky was much more awake than you, “but I also wanted to be my own person and live my own life, Steve helped me get adjusted but you…” he paused and took a deep breath, “you were cool and I wanted to be like you, a badass superhero who owns a room when you walk in.”
“Bucky,” you began to act coy, a different set of tears collecting
“I’m serious,” he pushed your head so you were looking at him, “you’re the coolest, smartest, prettiest, smartest person I’ve ever met.” his bottom lip pouted out, “don’t cry,” he whispered.
“You said smartest twice,” you smiled and rubbed his stubble.
“I know,” he smirked, “but I want to say prettiest more often…if you’ll let me.”
“What do you mean?” you sat up a bit.
“We’ll talk in the morning,” Bucky giggled and pushed you down so you were laying on him, “but right now you need your beauty sleep- but that’s just called sleep for you.”
warnings: smut, talks about bucky’s past as the winter soldier
requested: nope
word count: ~2.6k
summary: bucky and y/n are soulmates. this is how they meet.
author’s note: hiya peeps! sorry for the big break, enjoy! editing this real quick: i JUST saw doctor strange, like i came back from the theatre 20 mins ago, and ive had this fic written since 2 days. the dreams and memories thing… i had no idea what a wonderful coincidence!
“No!” Y/N screamed, waking up in cold sweat. She breathed heavily, looking down at her left arm, touching every part of it to make sure she was okay. Then she ran her palms over her face. “This is fucking ridiculous,” she muttered and got up from her bed. “Not again…” Her bed was covered in sweat. Turning on the air conditioner in her room to dry up her bed and also make it a little cool, Y/N left her room to make herself some late-night coffee.
The dreams she had every night were horrible. It was always from the point of view of a particular man; everyday, he was strapped to a chair and people, usually in white lab coats that made her think they were doctors, did disgusting and inhumane things to him. The screams of the man echoed in her head, mixed with her own screams. She was yet to know who the man was; the only thing she knew about him was the fact that he was her soulmate.
Example, person A and person B were soulmates. The way it worked was that person A’s memories would serve as dreams for person B and vice versa. So who was this man, who had such painful and abhorrent memories? She wondered if that person had dreams of her memories as well. Maybe he’d seen the time she had, once a long time ago, embarrassed herself on stage at a school function. Or the time she had thrown a party for her friends after getting first rank in an exam.
She had memories good and bad, as all people do, but her soulmate… it seemed as though he had been through more bad things than good. Sometimes, she saw memories of a science exhibition— specifically a flying car— but the exhibition seemed to have happened in a time so far back that it felt weird. Maybe it was a themed exhibition? Then other times, her dreams consisted of war; specifically, World War 2. She saw guns and explosives mostly used in that particular battle, and after confirming a few things from the internet…
Was her soulmate an old man?
If he had fought in the second World War, he must’ve been born in the early 1900s, and that would make him… above hundred?! Y/N choked on her coffee at the realisation and coughed, wiping her face. “My soulmate’s a hundred year old man?! What the fuck!” She hurriedly finished her coffee, kept the mug away and went back to her room, falling into a peaceful slumber.
—
“Morning, Barnes.”
Bucky nodded his head in greeting, making a beeline for the coffee machine. He’d woken up only 15 minutes ago. “How did you sleep, what kinda dream did you have?” Bucky looked at Steve, who was seated next to Sam. “A college lecture. The professor told a funny story and she laughed. Her laugh’s kinda cute.” Steve grinned. “That’s fucking amazing! Only if there was some way we could find out who this lady of yours is…” Bucky scoffed and rolled his eyes, bringing the cup to his lips.
“She’s not mine yet, Steve, calm down.”
“What do you think about the dreams she must be having?” Sam quietly asked and Bucky’s head shot up. Of course, that thought hadn’t occurred to him at all! How horrifying were her dreams?! Was she getting proper sleep?! What if her dreams— his memories— kept her awake all night and scared the living crap out of her? “Fucking shit,” he cursed, “Fuck, fuck, fuck— if only we can find each other—” Steve got up to calm his best friend but Bucky kept his coffee-filled mug down, turning to the door. “I need a walk.”
He left the communal area and walked out of the Avengers Compound, running his fingers over his head. He’d never, ever even thought about what she must’ve been going through because of him; how thoughtless of him!
He still remembered the first night he’d had a dream. Back in the 40’s, he never dreamt, because of course, unbeknownst to him, Y/N wasn’t born yet. Years passed. HYDRA captured him and while in captivity, he had his first dream. It was an odd dream; the point of view was such that he realised his soulmate at the time… was a baby. Bucky tried not to think about it much. At least he was having dreams, and about such sweet things, too, a complete contrast to the situation he was in.
The dreams kept him going. He saw glimpses of humanity in those dreams of his, and the thought that the world outside was mostly a beautiful place, it helped immensely. Once more, years passed by like a breeze. His soulmate grew older; a teenager, a college student and soon, a working adult. By the time she became a working adult, Bucky had successfully joined the Avengers, no longer a part of HYDRA.
As he walked around aimlessly, his mind drifted in the opposite direction. While he had those lovely, humane dreams, what must his soulmate have gone through? From her birth, all that she must’ve seen were scenes of torture, him killing people in his mindless state, him forced to be in a confined room with no human contact other than the doctors and HYDRA workers… to have to see all that since a young age seemed a nightmare.
He couldn’t believe he had put his poor soulmate through all that. Then, another thought occurred:
What if she rejected him for all he made her go through?
Over the years, Bucky lost a lot. He gained a few things along the way too, no doubt, but he lost more than he gained. His early days were spent looking after his sister and Steve, then as a young adult, he was forced into war, and after that… well, HYDRA. Now he had a stable enough life; sure, he risked his life every now and then but hey, things were going pretty good as of late. All he wanted was to meet his soulmate, the woman destined to be with him, but things seemed difficult.
First off, he didn’t have a clue as to what her identity was. Sure he saw hints in his dreams, he noted them all down as well, but he could not pinpoint the woman. One time he found out she worked in retail, but which store? Which branch? No idea. Shaking his head, Bucky looked around. He saw a Starbucks nearby; remembering the fact that he hadn’t had his morning cup of coffee yet, he decided to get some.
Bucky entered the place, observing it as he walked up to the barista. After placing his order, he went to find an empty seat and finally sat at the table behind a lady who was talking on the phone. He kept quiet, unknowingly listening in on her conversation. “Yeah, I know, I just remembered this one time in class, remember how the professor told us that story about his kid?”
Bucky paused at that. “I know, the poor dude had to pay for messing with our professor! That story is seriously so funny, oh my God—” He abruptly stood up, his eyes wide. His dream that day, the professor in his dream, the story, her laugh— holy shit. It was her! Bucky turned and walked to her table, making her look up. Her eyebrows shot up in recognition. “Hey Jeannette, I’ll call you back,” she whispered and ended the call. “Mr Barnes, what can I do for you?”
“You, uh—” he stammered, “The story you were telling your friend right now— may I ask you something personal, miss?” the lady gestured to the empty seat in front of her and Bucky sat, running his fingers through his hair. “This one time in high school, you came first in a class test, a Geography test if I remember correctly— did you or did you not throw a party for your friends?”
The lady gasped. “I did! How do you know that?”
“And in elementary school, you were the host for a school function and completely butchered your lines.” Bucky watched as the lady covered her mouth. “H-How… unless…” He nodded. “Dreams. I had dreams, and I’m guessing you had those too.” So the horrid, unpleasant, godawful vile dreams… were hismemories.She should’ve at least guessed. “I’m sorry,” she blurted out, “I’m so sorry you had to suffer so much, I—”
“What are you apologising for?! It’s not your fault I went through all that, all the more, I should be sorry for giving you those terrifying dreams! Man, I feel awful…” To his surprise, the lady reached out and touched his arm. “It isn’t your fault you went through all that, either. At least the dreams will stop now, now that I’ve met you.” Bucky hoped that was the case. He clicked his tongue.
“Ah! Uh, what’s your name?”
“Y/N Y/L/N.”
He gave her a small smile just as his name was called by the barista. “Join me,” she whispered to him and he agreed, getting up to get his coffee. For the first 2 minutes, there was complete silence between the two as each finished their own drink. “So the exhibition wasn’t themed after all, it actually took place back in the day,” she jabbered and Bucky met her eyes. “You saw the Stark Expo in your dream? With Howard’s flying car?” Y/N gasped. “Howard? So it was actually Howard Stark’s Stark Expo? That’s cool!” Bucky heaved a sigh of relief. “At least you had good dreams, too…”
“Plenty of ‘em! In a lot of those I saw this blond, skinny kid— that was Captain America, right? I’ve heard that you two are childhood besties.” Bucky chuckled. “We are, as you referred to us, childhood besties. Steve had asthma growing up, wasn’t even allowed to join the military but he never gave up, even illegally trying to get in. Swear to God, I’ve kept him outta trouble so many times—” Y/N laughed at his words.
“Why does that actually sound like something Captain America would do? Hey Mr Barnes, I also kinda wanna know: you had a sister, didn’t you?” He smiled at the fond memory. “Rebecca, my younger sister. Well, she kinda passed away a few years ago of old age, but—” Y/N smiled a bit too. “I’m sorry for your loss.” He waved in dismissal. “She lived a good life. Got married to a good guy, had kids, many grandkids…”
“Do you know any of them?”
“Not yet, no.”
Soon, they finished their coffee. “I gotta go to work now, how about we meet later?” Y/N packed up her things, swinging her backpack over her shoulder. “Of course, Ms Y/L/N.” They exchanged numbers and she waved at him as she walked out the front door. Bucky watched her go from the window; he’d finally met her. He wasn’t expecting her to be someone so kind, who didn’t blame him for all the dreams she had been having. On top of that, she was beautiful, too.
A kind soul, and kind looks. He couldn’t wait to meet her again.
—
“Stop moving.” Bucky froze when he heard his girlfriend next to him. “Baby, I thought you were asleep,” he murmured, turning to face her only to see her already looking at him. She reached out, running her fingers over his head. “What’s keeping you up? It’s— 1:30 am, love,” Y/N yawned. Bucky wrapped an arm around her, tugging her closer. He’d wanted to do that in the first place, but seeing as she was asleep, he didn’t want to disturb her.
“Had a bad dream, woke up. I’m sorry.” She chuckled and pressed a soft kiss to his neck. “When was the last time? I think 4 months ago, right? New record. Like a thunderstorm, if the time between your bad dreams is getting longer, that means they’re going away.” Bucky smiled at that as well. “Nice comparison, doll. I think they are, all because I found you.”
She scoffed at that. “I can’t take all the credit, Bucky, you’ve been diligently and regularly going to therapy, that is helping a lot.” He clicked his tongue and gave her a smooch on the lips. “That’s helped, for sure, but you’ve helped more. I look at you… and know it’s going to be alright. I hold you every night, and I know you’re safe— I’m safe— and I don’t think bad thoughts.”
She smiled lazily and burrowed closer to him. “8 months of this sap, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Bucky stuttered indignantly as Y/N closed her eyes. “You little shit— I thought I was being cute!” Y/N burst out laughing. “It was cute, but it was also sappy. Now goodnight, Bonky, I gotta sleep.” He muttered under his breath, “Stop calling me that.”
Then cheekily, his hand trailed down her waist, all the way to her— “Bucky! Now?” Y/N squeaked as his finger flicked her clit. “I’m not sleepy yet, plus look, you’re so wet…” Y/N moaned a little as his metal fingers ran up and down her folds, their coolness being a contrast to her warm cunt. He pushed two digits in, hissing in pleasure. “So warm, feel so good…” he uttered as Y/N twitched next to him, desperately trying to hold herself back. A few minutes passed.
“I know you wanna cum, my love, with the way your fucking cunt is clenching around my fingers so I suggest you do so immediately, I don’t wanna repeat myself,” Bucky spoke cockily. Y/N obeyed and let go, coming all over his fingers as he slowly made her ride her high. “Bucky,” Y/N whimpered when he brought his digits to his mouth for a taste. “Take off your shorts,” he rasped and she did, while Bucky also tugged his off.
Then he climbed on top of her, the blankets still over them, and slid home in one fluid motion. Both of them moaned at the sensation; it had been 8 months but Y/N felt like she was never going to get adjusted to his size. “Fuck, Y/N, my pretty baby,” Bucky groaned, leaning in to press his lips to her forehead. Somehow he simply stayed there; his hips rolled over hers lazily, both of them being tired in the middle of the night.
Even Y/N didn’t say anything; she felt like she was in heaven, and after one more orgasm, she’d definitely fall asleep in an instant. And that was exactly what happened; Bucky’s lips left her forehead and he buried his face in her shoulder, biting down to muffle his sounds of pleasure. “I’m so close, darling.” She hummed along. They let go at the same time; Bucky pulled out of her, stroking himself a couple times before spilling his release over her thigh.
Y/N’s legs shook as she came for a second time. Bucky then threw the blankets off of them, and got up to bring a towel to clean both him and Y/N up. But by the time he returned with the towel, Y/N had already fallen asleep, even snoring a bit. He laughed a little at that. Bucky sat next to her and gently cleaned her up, pulling down her t-shirt that had ridden up.
It was his tank top to begin with, that she’d stolen because it was “way more comfortable than any she owned” but he loved it when she stole his clothes, so he only pretended to be annoyed. Putting on his shorts again, Bucky lay next to her and wrapped her in his arms, kissing her bare shoulder. “Sweet dreams, doll.”
—
a/n: thanks for reading! leave a like if you enjoyed! also side note— sebastian stan looked amazing at the met gala lmao
Summary:You fall in love with the Winter Soldier, and they punish you for it. Sentiment is weakness, but what can they do? After all, they cannot kill the Fist of H.Y.D.R.A. and mortal men cannot even begin to comprehend slaying a dragon.
WARNINGS:HUGE ANGST, but happy ending, DARK, torture, blood, traumatic events, it’s war, massive injuries, angst, swearing, messy lives, everything that comes with the Winter Soldier’s past, love triangle-ish, Bucky’s a sad boy, scene leading up to smut and then mentions of it after so it’s SFW, also HAPPY ENDING Pairing:wintersoldier!Bucky x fem!enhanced!Reader Word Count: 7.1k
A/N:I have no justification for writing this. I’m just in a mood.
It’s 1945 and the war has started. Men come in droves to fight with their enlistment forms. You’re good at swiping blank ones. After all, a nurse can go anywhere. All it takes is a smile and a silly little excuse, and a woman is invisible.
You give them to the scrawny boy waiting outside, cross your arms, and smile fondly.
“You know they won’t accept you,” you tell him and his thin little face turns up to you. You’re wearing your uniform, and there’s your little nurse hat atop your head. He’d say you look gorgeous if you weren’t working and you wouldn’t slap him.
Fuck, this fic had my heart in a vice grip and it still hasn’t fucking let go! All the emotions through out this are so poignant and now I need time to recover!
summary: as soon as his palms brush along your cheeks, it’s almost as if his soul snaps out of its frenzied rage, looks at you, and embraces you with a warmth that says, oh, I’ve been looking for you for ages.
WARNINGS:angst, fluff, happy ending, medieval magic, blood, death, swearing, yearning, mentions of sexy times pairing:immortal!bucky x fem!mortal!reader word count: 12.0k
a/n:soulmate au and reincarnation au where you come back and find each other whenever fate deems it fit.written for @jalapenobarnes and @startrekkingaroundasgard. my prompts were not like this andwon’t lose you again which i changed slightly.
happy birthday, bucky.
818 - agape: the highest form of love
James doesn’t know how long he runs for. Your blood is seeping between his fingers as your fingers dig desperately into his neck and his breath is burning in his lungs as he screams himself raw. His blood is boiling beneath his skin, sweat soaking through his chain mail as he swallows down dry air, and his throat is tearing itself as he sucks in harsh breath after harsh breath.
“Hold on, foxglove,” he whispers. You let out a faint moan, and he raises his chin to the forest surrounding him. Here. The woman said she’d be here. Golden and amber leaves swirl around him, dancing in the breeze. Stumbling through the forest, his boots sink into the moist dirt as he fights to keep himself standing. Running, running, running. Where is that woman? Where? “Hold on.” As he glances down, he sees your eyes flutter shut and he chokes. You’ve lost all colour in your lips and cheeks, face dashed with scarlet red. A strangled sensation crawls up his throat just as his boot shifts beneath mud.
I literally had to step away for a moment after finishing this just to process everything. It rendered me completely speechless!
This is absolutely brilliant and beautiful and unique and a wonderful example of beauty in tragedy. So heart wrenchingly sad, yet so soft and full of love. The beautiful writing and imagery, and the depth of feeling has me in just a puddle on the floor. One of the best soulmate!au’s I’ve ever read!
WARNINGS: ANGST, hospital talk, swearing, vomitting, pairing:amnesiac modern!bucky x gender neutral!reader word count: 5.3k
a/n: a small study on a long-term relationship and the strains and disagreements that come into it. it’s been a hot sec since i’ve posted any marvel stuff. still tryna get back into writing for bucky, but this iswritten for @mushyjellybeans. prompt is bolded :)
“I don’t think this is something we should be arguing about,” you mutter, throwing your phone down into the car’s cupholder as Bucky’s grip on the wheel only intensifies. You slide hands over your thighs, stretching your legs against the red carpet of his newly refurbished Mustang. If there’s one thing you haven’t argued about yet, it’s the renovated ‘87 Mustang Bucky’s done over with his father, not completely done yet, but still, it looks hell of a lot better than it did before. “It shouldn’t have been made an issue tonight, of all nights.”
summary: You were supposed to go on a date tonight, but Bucky just had to interfere. It doesn’t make any sense, either. It’s not like there’s anything going on between the two of you.
pairing: 40s!bucky barnes x f!reader
word count:5.5k
warnings: good old angsty fluff. banter and miscommunication (it’s two painfully oblivious idiots in love, people), socially anxious reader, slightly jealous bucky in the beginning, a lot of cake, sad-ish ending (only if we take mcu canon to be a real thing)
prompt: this was written for the lovely @imaginearyparties’ theatre challenge—congrats again on 300 followers, ilana!! (and thank you for extending the deadline) my prompt was “first date / last night” from dogfight. you can and should listen to the whole song here.
a/n: frankly, this has zero rights to be as long as it turned out to be, but the second half of this hated my guts and i had to just roll with it. hope you enjoy x
You can hear it through the ceiling, even though you’ve pulled a pillow over your head to try and block out the noise. He’s been pacing ever since you’ve sent him marching upstairs, slamming the door so hard a bit of plaster fell off your living room wall, and you shouted a name after him your mama would have smacked you over the head for.
But tonight was meant to be lovely, your first real night out in the city, and he just had to ruin it. And once again, you’re left to literally pick up the pieces on your own in an empty apartment. What a waste.
Warnings:Some alluding to sexy times, some very mild angst.
A/N:Hi guys! Sorry I’ve been away for a while but I’ve just moved to the US and am still settling in, so I’ll be on sporadically for the next few weeks. I have some stories queued up, though, so I’ll see you guys soon. I hope you like them all. This just came to me last night and I wrote it in an hour so it might be a mess. Also, I haven’t written for Bucky in a long, long time so I hope it’s not too terrible. Thank you guys for being patient, and let me know what you think! :)
~
Bucky can’t sleep.
He’s tired, bone-deep ache set in every inch of his body, only similar to the phantoms of leather-bound wrists and white-hot electricity. He craves the numbness, that slow, fuzzy feeling that takes over his limbs and his brain some nights, when he’s lucky.
But the numbness never comes. Only panic.
It’s disorienting, just enough to leave his mind shifting between that dark place and back, wondering if the soft mattress he’s lying on is a cruel play of his own mind; if he’s back in that cold chamber, waiting for the next mission. He smells blood, that sharp iron twinge hot on his tongue and sticking in the back of his throat. There’s red in his eyes and red on his hands and red everywhere—
The warm body next to him shifts. Bucky reminds himself to breathe, his fists unclenching from where they were borderline ripping the bedsheets. He looks to his right, breath catching for a whole other reason.
Messy hair peeks out from beneath gray sheets, face half-smushed into your pillow. Your brows furrow, jaw clenching in that same way whenever you’re annoyed, breath coming in small puffs in your slumber.
Bucky breathes again, lets himself think about nothing, focuses on taking you in like it’s the last time he ever will.
Hey! I’m done with exams and I’m looking forward to writing more! This is my first time writing Bucky eeek. I found writing in present tense a real mind-fuck so let me know if you spot any mistakes!
- Liv xxx
Maybe she shouldn’t have come. It’s all a bit too much. The music rumbling low in her stomach. All of the very important colleagues that she barely knows. And the lights are giving her a headache concentrated right behind her eyeballs. She could, of course, try getting a little drunk. Just a little bit, to ease the nerves. But sometimes the agony of remembering the night before is worse than spending the entire night excruciatingly sober.
