#buddie fandom
Buddie
It was a fact that Edmundo Diaz did not handle words very well. Whatever they might be.
Getting shot changes everything.
Suddenly it’s the universe saying all the words Eddie never dared say. The universe is screaming.
Which, is ironic if you think about it, because Eddie claimed it didn’t
It was a fact that Edmundo Diaz did not handle words very well. Whatever they might be.
He didn’t know what to say, or how to say it, to his father that he didn’t want to join the high school football team. He didn’t know what to say, or how to say it, that he didn’t want to kiss that girl at the birthday party while he and his friends played seven minutes in heaven. He never knew what to say, or how to say it, to his teammate Tyler Evans that he was beautiful, that Eddie dreamed of him, and that he wanted to kiss him.
Eddie never knew what to say, or how to say it, to Shannon that he didn’t love her and that he had only agreed to go out with her because Tyler had got a girlfriend, in fact, all of his friends were getting a girlfriend, and he was so embarrassed when she asked him out in front of everyone that he simply said yes.
He didn’t know what to say, or how to say it, that he didn’t like her kisses or how she touched him, much less how her body felt under his hands. Then she was pregnant and his parents insisted they get married, he didn’t know how to say that while he was happy with the idea of being a father, the realization that he would have to pass the rest of his life with Shannon terrified him. It wasn’t that he didn’t love her, he did, but not in that way, not to spend a lifetime together. How could he say that he had dated her only because he felt pressured by his fears and insecurities, how could he say that the sex between them was good and constant because that way he didn’t need to use words, so Eddie learned how to please her and mostly how to let his mind run to all the places that would help him enjoy it too. How could he say such words?
So he did what he always did best, he didn’t say anything!
He swallowed all the words and let them scream silently and freely inside his chest, choking him in ways that made him want to run away. Which is something he also did and found he was pretty good at it, running away.
Enlisting was the perfect excuse, it took him far away, a place where he still pretended to be someone he wasn’t, he still didn’t know what to say or how to say many things, but at least he no longer needed to trick his mind to be able to enjoy the Shannon touches
The touch that was too delicate, the body that was too curvy.
He shuts up and uses the money as an excuse to run away because he doesn’t know what to say, or how to say it, to Shannon that he doesn’t love her. He definitely doesn’t know what to say, or how to say it, to his parents that he’d rather be alone than with a woman, that he’d prefer big callused hands to small than delicate ones, strong muscular arms, face slightly rough with a beard. How could he tell his parents that he would rather be married to a man?!
So he doesn’t speak.
so after being out for so long, I need to catch up with everything, can you share what’s new here? new theories ? new spoilers? new headcanon? new drama?
if any…
