I’m in the hospital and the guy in the doom next to me is an old man who is clearly suffering dementia (or something) and is Russian. He spends most of his day standing in the hall, speaking and talking in Russian to whatever poor staff is stuck working the phones at the desk right in front of our room. He’s fairly good natured but DAYUM does it get old eventually. It’s also unclear how much English he speaks or understands.
Mostly he’s left patients alone, but he just looked into my room and he said “ma’am, ma’am, ma’am” until I looked at him until I looked at him and said “Yes Boris?”
And he goes “Smile!”
Even demented old men in the hospital want to tell me to smile! Also, I know that in Russia smiling for now reason is seen as a sign that maybe you’re not as smart (at least according to my cousin’s wife who is from Russia and was explaining to us once why Russians always look so serious).
Mai even though Boris (that’s legit his name!) actually is kind of funny, I looked him dead in the eyes and said “No Boris, I do not want to smile.” He legitimately looked a little taken aback but then was like “okay” and went off to keep looking for a nurse who may or may not exist named Katia.
I realize I should probably just be nicer to the poor, confused, probably lonely man in the hospital but honestly….
I swear to god I have collected some of the funniest hospital roommate/other patient stories in the world (and some not so funny ones).
Anyone else want to help entertain me while I’m here by telling me YOUR funniest hospital stories? Because honestly I’m getting pretty bored and I think I’ve watched almost every documentary Netflix even HAS!
So I just had surgery to re-site my ostomy and I have been thinking, maybe since I have a new and renewed stoma, I should also have a fresher name for him.
Background: my first ostomy surgery was in 2008 and I named him after a politician who I believed was full of SHIT. So his name was George. But that’s become dated.
I’ve been thinking about Donny (not sure I can even live saying his name even to be mean), Mitch, or Lindsay.
Guess who’s finally back on Tumblr! I apologize for my unexpected disappearance, and I thank you for your patience. Please reblog to spread the news! And expect some new posts from this blog ASAP. ❤
Be the Queen (or King) of your own life. There will always be trials and struggles in our lives, we can’t avoid it, but we can decide how to respond to them. No matter what, you can survive and thrive.
