Martin Wong

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took the bus to wander around northern kentucky for my stupid mental health again

been having a rough couple of weeks but today I pushed myself to just get on the bus line a block from my house and ride all the way to the end of the line and then at the end of the line I said fuck it and took another bus across the river to Kentucky. I did not end up finding the café I intended to visit because… on the way I… encountered a cat café and the sign outside the cat café invited you to come in and have a ~calico stout~* brewed by a favourite local brewery I hadn’t been to in years… and there were, cats, and scones. so I spent several hours sitting at the bar in the cat café, watching the picture window looking into the cat room, listening to conversations, and just enjoying being in a place. the screaming Thoughts Channel volume turned down for once, and I did get very weepy hiding behind my glass of beer – I don’t know, at feeling positive emotions? at the world not being hostile for once and people not making me sad and angry and exhausted? at pushing past my brain saying YOU ARE IN TROUBLE YOU ARE GOING TO BE IN TROUBLE and leaving the house anyway and making an impulse bus trip to nowhere and then finding something worthwhile and lovely at the end?

* it was a chocolate, coffee, and salted caramel milk stout. what the fuck.

anyway I wandered around the neighbourhood for a bit revelling in the textures of the city and all the gorgeous architecture and the blooming trees and the old hopeful warm feeling of people-watching I used to have before 2020 until my phone (bus ticket receptacle) was nearly dead, and bused home smoothly and without incident in time to make dinner for Corey and me and dance in the kitchen to Rachel Sermanni. like being inhabited by the ghost of an old self, reminding me that I can pull good things out of the ground and shape them myself.