#cliffhanger

Part 1|Part 2|Part 3 |Part 5

Steve Rogers x Reader

**I can’t do a summary on this one without spoiling everything. If you’ve read the first three parts then you know what’s going on. 

Word Count: 1503

Warnings:Language, angst.

A/N:Ok, I’ve had so much fun writing this! Thanks to all who have read it! Give me some feedback, too. I like hearing from you. Not my gif, credit to the owner.

“You guys only dated for two months - it’s not like you were engaged or anything.”Laurie sat with you on your couch, sharing a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream with you.

You nodded. “I know. It’s just that I was really falling for him, and I… I don’t know. I just miss him, that’s all.”

It had been a week since you and Steve went ‘on a break’.

“So, why don’t you just call him, then?” Laurie said, digging her spoon into the ice cream. “If you’re ‘on a break’ you can just end the break, right?”

“It’s not that simple,” you sighed, wishing it was. “He doesn’t want to be with me if I can’t handle him leaving all the time to save the world. And I don’t know if I can handle that. I mean, I love that we aren’t a super clingy couple, and I don’t want him up my butt all the time, but…” you sighed again. “I just want to see him. And I want to know that I’m a priority in his life.”

Laurie shook her head. “If you sigh again, I’m going to scoop your eyeballs out,” she joked, waving her spoon around before scooping some more ice cream in her mouth.

“Can we talk about something else?” you asked, and Laurie nodded.

After a moment of silence, your friend spoke up again. “So how was the sex?”

You nearly choked on your ice cream. “Excuse me?”

“The sex- with Captain America. How was it?” Laurie pressed, raising a brow. “He’s a super soldier, sex with him must have been super.”

“I wouldn’t know,” you said, and it was Laurie’s turn to be surprised.

“You never fucked him?”

“No,” you said, leaning back against the couch cushions. “We were taking things slow, and… and we never really had an opportunity to. Even if we did, he’d probably have to leave halfway through,” you laughed at the thought.

“Ew,” Laurie laughed, scrunching her nose up in disgust. She shook her head for a moment. “Do you think you’ll ever see him again?” She asked, setting her spoon on the coffee table.

“I don’t know, maybe,” you said, shrugging. “I miss him like crazy, but if the world is always going to come first, I just don’t think I can be with him.”

Laurie, for once, didn’t have a comment. But she looked like she did, like she was holding something back. “What?” you asked, noticing this.

She shook her head, giving you a tight-lipped smile. “Nothing,” she said.

You gave her an incredulous look. “It’s not nothing- what is it?” you asked.

Laurie let out a huff of breath, and looked at you like you were an idiot. “I just think you’re being stupid. You’re crazy about this guy, and duh, his job is going to come before you. It’d be different if he were a lawyer or a teacher, but he’s a superhero, Y/N. It’s not like he can just let aliens invade Earth or whatever he protects us from.”

“You don’t think I know that?” you said, all of sudden feeling very defensive about this whole thing. Who was she to judge you? Tell you that you were being stupid? “You don’t think I’ve thought about that, and felt guilty about thinking I was more important than his job?” You stood up, slamming the lid back on the ice cream.

“If you were really guilty about it, you’d be okay with him leaving all the time,” Laurie pointed out, her voice calm and cool compared to yours.

“Shut up!” your voice raised as you tossed the ice cream onto the coffee table. “You don’t know how it is- you don’t know what it’s like to be completely into this guy who always has to leave. Always.”

“Look, I get it,” Laurie said, standing up and grabbing her purse. “But you’re being selfish. Steve has a job to do, and you should appreciate the time you get with him and stop dwelling on the fact that he’s not around twenty-four seven. And, do you know what I would give to have what you and Steve have? I’ve seen the way you look at each other. No one has ever looked at me like that.” She scoffed. “I get why you’re mad. But don’t take it out on me.” She dug her keys out of her bag.

“Laurie, wait-”

“Call me when you’re done acting crazy,” she said, rolling her eyes before walking out the door.

This wasn’t like you - blowing up on Laurie and acting all self-centered with Steve. You weren’t like that, right? You kept your anger under control and you didn’t let doubt run your life, but… But something happened over the last few months and now, things were different. You were different.

You got a text two weeks after your fight with Laurie. It was from Steve.

I left my copy of the catcher in the rye at your place. Can I come get it, and I will give you back your key also?

-Steve

You couldn’t help but smile. He always ended his texts with his name, even though you always told him he didn’t need to. That people receiving messages from him would know it was him. He was such a dork sometimes.

You were at work when you received it, so you quickly typed back a reply.

Yes. I get off at 8. Anytime after then will be fine.

The past few weeks had been rough. You hadn’t talked to Laurie or Steve, and your heart hurt without both of them. You spent a lot of time watching reruns of your favorite TV show, and the amount of ice cream eaten had been a lot more than usual. You missed Laurie. You missed laughing with her about the stupid things you did in high school and going through each other’s clothes and talking about everything with her. You didn’t have anyone to vent to.

And, more than anything, you missed Steve. You missed the electricity between the two of you when you touched, and the way his lips seemed to fit into yours like puzzle pieces.  You missed how you didn’t even have to go out with him- the two of you could just relax on your couch and be totally content. You missed those baby blue eyes, with so much history in them. You missed him so much.

Maybe Laurie was right. Maybe the little bit of time you got with Steve was enough. Maybe you could deal with him always running off, as long as he came back to you.

Fuck, you thought, shoving your phone back into your pocket as you made your way through the housewares department. Was I wrong all along?

The rest of your shift seemed to drag on. Like the universe knew that you wanted to leave, so it slowed time down just for kicks.

You nearly got a ticket driving back to your apartment.

Your bag slung over your shoulder, your hair disheveled from a long day at work, your half-eaten sandwich in a plastic bag. You were a sore sight, and all you wanted was to see Steve. You knew what you had to do - apologize, and kiss and make up.

Everything would be alright.

You opened the door, expecting to see Steve on the other side. Instead, you were met with the darkness of your apartment, empty of anyone that could bring you happiness again. After setting your bag down, you noticed something on the table by the door. A note, with the key you’d given Steve sitting on top.

Y/N,

This past month has been hell without you. But you haven’t made any move to contact me, no signs that you want to make this work. So I have to give up, right? If there’s really no way I could change your mind, it’s fine. I’ll be fine. I lived this long without you. I can do it again.

I can’t guarantee that you’ll be number one on my list. The world needs me, Y/N, and I can’t just back down from anything threatening the safety of this planet. SHIELD is my job, and I can’t quit on them. But once all that is said and done, I promise, you will be my number one girl.

If you are willing to try again with me, give me a call. If not, well, I’ll be sad, but there’s nothing I can do about it.

- Cap (Steve)

All the emotions that you’d had built up over the past month or so just sort of collapsed, and soon your eyes flooded with tears. You couldn’t help it. Things were horrible with Laurie, and you missed Steve like crazy. But he wanted you. And you wanted him, more than anything. Things were different with him than with any other guy you’d dated. He was different. He was special.

You didn’t even bother pulling yourself together before dialing his number.

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@whiskeyandwashitape@thelostswan

Cliffhanger