#comparison is the thief of joy
“It doesn’t matter what anybody else around you is doing. You’re never going to have the same trajectory as someone else. Someone might become successful before you. Someone might get a job you wanted. That doesn’t mean you are not also going to succeed.”
-Dan Levy to Iowa Universities, April 2021
Photo: Netflix
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Comparison is the thief of joy. Trite, but true.
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One very important thing that I have learned is to stop comparing my life to others. Sometimes, my chapter 1 isn’t like her chapter 1. And more than likely my chapter 14 isn’t like her chapter 14. And I can’t compare my chapter 1 to her chapter 21. They’re all completely incomparable. Everyone has a different path that life is taking them down. Each path is filled with lessons that you can either learn and grow from or let hinder you and depress you. I have accepted my path and what is possibly in store for me, and I’ve chosen to be optimistic about it all. Because honestly, tomorrow (or any day) could be the best day of my life! I will not allow myself to be sad because my life is not moving at the pace I may want it to. There is a silver living in every day and I’ve chosen to see each one. Life is not a competition to see who has the “better” one. The only person who you should be competing with is your past self.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
– Theodore Roosevelt
This is something I struggle with to this day. I’ve had to learn that comparing yourself with others (friends, coworkers, strangers on the interweb, etc) and trying to dictate a “winner” DOES NO GOOD.
Recently, one of my friends finally got accepted into Physician’s Assistant (PA) school. I was told by a mutual friend of ours, who then remarked, “Did you know PAs make 150k after graduation? And up to $250k later on?” Qualifying her accomplishment with salary just felt weird to me - as if someone who earns less than $150k after graduation is “lower-tier.”
There are WAY TOO MANY variables out there that makes “comparing” difficult. No one is “better” than anyone just because of the career path they’ve chosen. For example: while doctors and lawyers are esteemed in our society, if you’ve never had any inclination to be a doctor or lawyer, you shouldn’t feel jealous of their career path and progress - after all, you were never interested in that path and if you had partaken in that route, you’d be likely unhappy. That’s my take anyway.
The only time you should be “comparing” yourself is when you’re looking at others in the same field you are in and seeing how their career projection was like. You can observe, analyze, and see how to use that information to help your own career growth. This is not a malicious intent but rather trying to foster your own development. You are not in competition with anyone but yourself.
If that’s not enough to sway you… there are multiple studies that research the relationship between income and happiness. This study from 2018 from Purdue University noted:
“Globally, we find that satiation occurs at $95,000 for life evaluation and $60,000 to $75,000 for emotional well-being.”
In other words, if you earn $95,000 or more, you reach the peak level of happiness. Of course there are different situations and each person has their own circumstances, but I think this is important to note.
My loose goal is to earn a 6-figure salary ($100,000 or more) around the time I graduate from my master program, and I honestly think I’d be happy with that. I am not materialistic, don’t go on crazy shopping sprees, and enjoy living below my means within reason. Money does not always equal happiness and if you truly believe that the more money you make, the happier you’ll be, you need to check why you believe that.
