#cql spoilers

(陈情令) | lan wangji ✗ wei wuxian {peace}

“give you me wild, give you a child” really obsessed with taylor’s new album so i made an edit for the song “peace” hope you guys like it!

(陈情令) | lan wangji ✘ wei wuxian {your world will fail}

i was missing them. made a wangxian fmv with the song “Your world will fail” it was a suggestion (which I’m taking) hope you guys like it like I did!

It’s a great question. Some might say the Most Fundamental Question Of Our Time. And they only say that because it Is. Does such a Question have an Answer? Can any of us know what is in the mind of another? Can we ever truly know how Peaceful someone is? Yes, we can. I made a scale for it and it is Foolproof. 

Lan Wangji takes us on quite the peacefulness roller coaster over the course of this show. He’s had some highs (while hanging out at the top of a waterfall) and some lows (dashed on the rocks below the cliffs at Nightless City) and through it all he has made like Three Whole Facial Expressions. He’s Perfect in Every Way. Now that we have been on this journey with him, now that we have become intensely, almost obsessively, familiar with his Brow Furrows and Lip Twitches and the way his Eyes somehow go all Soft and Warm, don’t we deserve to know the Official and Canonical Highest and Lowest points? We Do. Let’s begin.

Least Peaceful Episode: It is Episode 32, with a peacefulness average of 1.5/10. I think we all expected it to be Episode 33, and it would have been, if we could count only the flashback portion, which netted a staggering 0/10 average. However, the International Peacefulness Blog Rating Committee forbids such Technicalities, and Lan Wangji’s Soft Little Face when Wei Wuxian woke up tragically lost its episode the title. 

Least Peaceful Moment: Obviously. Obviously. It was awarded a -3 but we all know that this is a Lack of Peace that Cannot Be Quantified. I gave it a -3 because I couldn’t figure out how to work Absolute Despair/10 into the average. 

Most Peaceful Episode: Another twist, it’s Episode 35, with an Absolutely Incredible 6.9/10. This is because Wei Wuxian is Alive and he spends Relatively Little Time being Actively Menaced by Dogs or Nephews or Brothers or Swords. Plus a Very Homoerotic Duet. All these elements do Great Things for Lan Wangji’s peacefulness.

Most Peaceful Moment: Could there ever be any Doubt? Of course it is when Wei Wuxian Returns to Him For Forever. Lan Wangji doesn’t even appear in this scene! But the Overwhelming Peacefulness is Too Strong To Be Denied.

Series Peacefulness Average: We have come to the Crux of our Investigation. The Question that scholars have puzzled over Since Time Immemorial. How Peaceful Was Lan Wangji, On Average, Over the Course Of The Show? Through a complicated series of Calculations and Arcane Computations, I can now confirm the answer that we have all sought, the Ultimate Peacefulness Average: 4.2/10.

Lan Wangji would like to politely ask what, precisely, the actual fuck is going on at this Moment? Nie Huaisang is… A Mastermind? That doesn’t seem right. And yet…? He goes ahead and Settles on an All-Purpose Glare, that seems like a Safe Bet. 3/10

Things have Escalated Very Quickly and Honestly Lan Wangji is Not About this Haunted Temple Life. Really just so much more Melodramatic and Murdery than Necessary. 1/10

Well fuck you too then uncle. 3/10

This is It Lan Wangji. Just Say It. You’ve Waited Sixteen Years For This. You Can Do It, you can, just– 6.5/10

Yes this is Exactly what he wanted from a Confession Scene. Exactly the Confession he had in Mind. Yup. Nothing More Needed Saying Here. 5/10

The one thing he hasn’t said yet. The One And Only Thing. Ahaha. 4.5/10

Lan Wangji is back in Dad Mode. A Full Dad Smirk. Truly Powerful. 9.5/10

The Softest Little Smile. It’s Barely There but it is So Strong. The Affection in his Eyes!! Too Much. 10/10

In Retrospect Maybe Deciding To Give Up On Being An Itinerant Wanderer With The Man I Love In Favour Of Political Bullshit Was A Bad Call. 1.5/10

I was wrong. I was So Wrong. Thisis History’s Most Homoerotic Duet. 10/10

Lan Wangji Stands Atop a Waterfall of Peace. Lan Wangji is the Happiest Boy in the World. 13/10

Wei Ying I am Standing Right Here. 7/10

*screams internally* 2/10

No yeah no this is fine. This is great. This is So Fine and So Great. Love it. Amazing. 3/10

Wei Ying. 16/10

Oh, so this is how it feels when your Brother inexplicably* keeps entertaining the Crazy Shit that The Most Evil Guy in the Room says. 3.5/10

Lan Wangji struggles to Deal with the fact that he is hearing, “I had to marry and have sex with my sister, it would have been so awkward not to,” with His Own Two Ears. What a Time to be Alive. 2/10 

Oh No. Not his Only and yet still somehow Worst Nephew. Won’t someone Please Stop this Madman. 3/10

Did Sizhui just get Tossed across an entire courtyard by a Mysterious Monster? His Precious Child?? Thrown Around?? Unacceptable. 1.5/10

Oops did someone just cut off Jin Guangyao’s Arm? How Unfortunate. What a Tragedy. Hope he doesn’t Immediately Bleed Out On the Floor Right Here In Front of Everyone. 4.5/10

It would probably be Bad if he Didn’t Make Any Effort At All to save Jin Guangyao, right? Okay. He Will Play. But he’s gonna Glare About It. 5/10

Is that Haunted Knife turning towards Wei Wuxian? The Angry Knife Threatens His Wei Wuxian??? *guqin intensifies* 3/10

Lan Wangji settles for catching Wen Qionglin, as a consolation prize. But we all know who Those Arms are waiting to catch. It’s only a Matter of Time. Wei Wuxian can’t stay Upright Forever. 4.5/10

This Is More Like It. A Flawless Catch. Lan Wangji has Trained For This.  6.5/10

Su She has stabbed Nie Huaisang? Su She stabbed an Actual Baby? Lan Wangji’s Kind Of Sworn Baby Brother?? What the fuck. 3/10

Is it Too Intense to stare at Wei Wuxian like this? Maybe. Will he stop? No. Absolutely Not. It would take some sort of Monumental Betrayal, perhaps the Snapping of the Jaws of a Decade-Long Revenge Trap, to draw his attention away. 7/10

Oh dear. 2/10

Jiang Wanyin is working Incredibly Hard to use up the Very Small Amount of Goodwill he managed to accrue by At The Very Least not being on the side of the Homicidal Maniac who is currently holding them all Hostage. 3/10

Well this is just Embarrassing for everybody here. So Many Emotions. Are all of these people really like this All The Time? Exhausting. Lan Wangji barely even bothers to Be Menacing at Jiang Wanyin. Mostly he’s just Judging Quietly. 5/10

How Many Times will Lan Wangji be forced to Bear Witness to this man’s Grave being Disturbed?? At least he’s got his head back this time. 3.5/10

Has a man ever looked more Bored by being held at sword point? Doesn’t even look at the person threatening him. Absolutely Brutal. 6.5/10

Just when you thought Lan Wangji could not possibly Glare More Intensely, he does it. Did we need More Reasons to Dislike Su She? No. But we have Gotten Them Anyways and we must Make Use of What We Are Given. 2/10

Lan Wangji very calmly and rationally Destroys Su She with Facts and Logic. An Icon. 7.5/10

Oh god is Wei Wuxian cry-laughing again oh no oh god. 1/10

Should he try to stop Wei Wuxian from slowly driving Jin Guangyao insane with Resentful Energy? … nah this is Fine. 4.5/10

Su She has provided us all with a Valuable Lesson about what happens when we try to stab Wei Wuxian. Not that any of us would be so Foolish as to try that again. Right, Jin Ling? Right. 3.5/10

Can’t help but notice that when Wei Wuxian was having his Dramatic Monologue Moment we shot an arrow at him, but now that the slimy little snake boy has something to say we’re All Ears. 4/10

Oh, Wei Wuxian was looking for female cultivators for Wen Ning. That’s… yeah still a little weird. 6.5/10

Sorry what was that Wei Wuxian I couldn’t hear you over how quickly I am walking away. Sizhui? Never heard of him. 3.5/10

B-betrayal? Lan Xichen… is a Betrayer?? Lan Wangji’s Brow is Furrowed, his Eyes are Troubled. The Boy is Distressed. 2/10

Lan Wangji has Murder in his Eyes and also in his Heart. Jin Guangyao thinks he can Corrupt Lan Xichen and Threaten Wei Wuxian? Not if this Scowl has anything to say about it. 1.5/10

Lan Xichen is not a Betrayer. This is Good. Lan Wangji can turn his Fierce Glare back on Jin Guangyao, who is now a Double Kidnapper and therefore Doubly Deserves It. 2/10

Extremely Rude of Jin Guangyao to just not allow himself to be Stabbed like this. Just a Shocking level of Discourtesy. 1/10

Lan Wangji can’t even bring himself to Pretend to Care about Su She’s Nonsense. He’s going to Gaze Into the Middle Distance and let Wei Wuxian Bully Su She, and he’s going to Enjoy It. 6/10

The Things We Do For Love. This Man deserves a Medal, honestly. 4.5/10

Did Jiang Wanyin just… save Lan Wangji’s life? Is Lan Wangji going to have to be Nice to him now? Is he going to have to Say Thank You to him?? Absolutely Horrifying. 2/10

Thank god. A False Alarm. Lan Wangji will just Go Ahead and continue to Not Like Jiang Wanyin At All, thank you very much.  3.5/10

Damn okay now it’s Filicide as well. Today has really been A Whole Thing. 3.5/10

Obviously we’re all now On Wei Wuxian’s Side and Lan Wangji Loves That For Us, but at the same time… Wow we’re all very quick to Completely Believe these Random Strangers and maybe we should Think About Thi—No? Vicious Mob? I guess Vicious Mob is good too. 4.5/10

Everybody is being Remarkably Cavalier about his brother’s potential murder here. Lan Wangji is beginning to think that most of these people… may be Kind Of Terrible. 3/10

Can’t help but notice that when it was Wei Wuxian that we were all Chanting About nobody wanted to take him alive but now that it’s the Murderous Incest Guy we’re all keen on Fair Trials but okay. 2.5/10

No big deal just doing three bows with the bestie. Showing Respect to the Jiang Clan Ancestors and Doing Absolutely Nothing Else. 9/10

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian take it in turns to be Offended on Each Others’ Behalf. Lan Wangji has brought his Most Angry Eyebrows to this fight and he is Not Afraid to Use Them. 2.5/10

Lan Wangji gets his Full Face involved to express just how much he Disapproves of Jiang Wanyin and his Bullshit. Jiang Wanyin is so close to suffering some Serious Violence if he doesn’t Get His Hands Off. 2/10

Look at his Eyes. The Absolute Panic. The Concern. That’s Not Where Blood Belongs, Wei Wuxian, what are you Doing. 1.5/10

Lan Wangji is suddenly having A Lot of Regrets about some things he said A Few Years Ago. As if all the Regrets he previously had Weren’t Enough. 1/10

Wei Wuxian is so Good and Noble and Self-Sacrificing and– I’m sorry 50%?? God he’s So Annoying. Why does he Do These Things to Lan Wangji’s Peacefulness. 2.5 /10

Quiet loathing of Jiang Wanyin intensifies. 2/10

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian both know that this is Thievery. This is an Illegal Lotus Pod. A Crime is being committed before his Very Eyes. 3/10

So this is a Life of Crime. It’s not so bad. Lan Wangji could get used to this. 8.5/10

Lan Wangji got too wrapped up in his Life of Crime and briefly forgot about the Life or Death Situation that his brother is in. 3.5/10

Lan Wangji is just Extremely Impatient to get into the city please read nothing further into his Facial Expression or General Stompiness. 3/10

Lan Wangji jumps right from Standing Idly By to Murderous. Su She better not have just tried to Threaten Wei Wuxian. 4/10

Lan Wangji is Vindicated. Wei Wuxian is an Innocent Angel and Su She is the Worst. Finally he can Stab Su She and Nobody can tell him to Stop. 7.5/10

Do these people know how lucky they are to have Wei Wuxian sacrificing himself like this for them? Well, not that lucky, he’d do this for pretty much Anybody. He would sacrifice himself for an Actual Goat that he Just Met. The Boy has a Problem. Lan Wangji throws everybody a Reproving Glare anyways. They Don’t Deserve Him. 4/10

Those kids better not be fighting over their Unresolved Personal Traumas out there. 6/10

Hey! Are you kids fighting about your Unresolved Personal Traumas over there? Have you considered simply Repressing all of that Sadness and Pain instead? 4.5/10

Lan Wangji doesn’t know where to look while Jin Ling has an Ugly Cry in front of Most of the Cultivation World. He is Quietly Grateful that he expresses his Most Serious Emotions in Tiny Facial Tics that only his brother, Wei Wuxian, and obsessive internet weirdos with oddly specific blogs would notice. 4/10

The face of a man realizing that the fact that he Adopted Wei Wuxian’s Kid, named him “Wow I Sure Do Long For Wei Wuxian,” and then Hid All Of That, is coming Dangerously Close to Being Noticed. 3.5/10

Lan Wangji considers all the ways in which Jiang Wanyin is an Ongoing Disappointment to him. 3/10

Tonight has taken a very weird, very patricidal and surprisingly incestuous turn. Lan Wangji was really Not Ready for Any Of This. 2.5/10

This is a Frankly Ridiculous Amount of Fondness, this Smile is simply Too Gentle to be Allowed. Honestly, leave some Unconditional Love for the rest of us, Lan Wangji. 9/10

He doesn’t Hesitate. He doesn’t even have to be Asked. This man has waited sixteen years to be the sugar daddy that Wei Wuxian deserves and damn if he isn’t stepping up. 9.5/10

Uh yeah I think it’s safe to say he remembers the Last Good Time you two had together before you Went Insane, Killed A Bunch of People, and Threw Yourself Off a Cliff, Wei Wuxian. -1 for the Child-Sized Secret that Lan Wangji is Keeping For… Some Reason. 4/10

Look at Lan Wangji doing Absolutely Nothing to stop Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning from Pranking the Children. Truly he is Complicit in the Yiling Patriarch’s Most Terrible Crimes. 6.5/10

The Proudest Dad. Of course Lan Wangji would never play Favourites with the juniors, it’s just that Sizhui is simply the Best Boy. He can’t help the Facts. 8.5/10

The Most Disappointed Uncle. It’s not that he Hates Jin Ling, it’s just that he is a Terrible Child and Very Lucky that Wei Wuxian would Probably Not Approve of a little Retributive Stabbing. 4/10

Oh sorry what was that Uncle i can’t hear you over all this Evil I’ve been Befriending. 4.5/10

Well this isn’t going quite as well as one might have hoped. 2.5/10

Lan Wangji literally could not care less about anything that comes out of Su She’s mouth. Every moment that he spends un-Silenced is a new test of Lan Wangji’s Ever-Waning Patience. 3.5/10

Could there possibly be anything more devastating than having the Yiling Patriarch and Hanguang-jun team up to Completely Roast you with nothing but the Cold Hard Facts? Su She never stood a chance and Lan Wangji is Secretly Loving It. 7/10

Oh yes, we can all take the time to Carefully Consider now, but where was this Careful Consideration when it was Lan Wangji’s Evil Boyfriend who was engaging in Horrible Demon Magic and Potentially Murdering a Bunch of People, hmm??? 3/10

Sorry babe you’re right I’m cool. 6/10

Lan Wangji will never, ever miss a chance to tell Su She that he Totally Fucking Sucks. Because he Does. Lan Wangji is Half Out of His Mind with Grief and he is still serving Absolutely Ice Cold Burns. 1/10

They can hit him with the Rule Sticks all they like. Lan Wangji has fully committed to Disobedience. He’s here to Be Gay and Question His Teachings and His Gay Just Fell Off A Cliff. 1/10

I Hope That Suffering The Devastating Loss Of Those I Love And The Subsequent Extended Mourning Doesn’t Become A Theme For Me. 1/10

Just Brazenly Breaking the Rules in front of the literal Sect Leader. So Shameless. Who is this man?? Not the Good Student That Lan Qiren Taught that’s for sure. 8/10

It’s Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji is the one who believes in you, Wei Wuxian. 8.5/10

Wei Ying Please Stop Falling Asleep On Me What Will The Censors Say. 9/10

Lan Wangji is Very Calm. Listening to the slimy little snake boy who was responsible for The Greatest Suffering in his Life lie straight to his brother’s face? Yes, this is Fine. He can meditate through this no problem haha. 4/10

Lan Wangji indulges in a Hint of Smug Satisfaction at Wei Wuxian playing their love song, and finally, Finally, putting his One Brain Cell to work and figuring out how Lan Wangji recognized him. 8/10

Look at this Impossibly Soft Boy. I can’t deal with him. Crouching behind a haystack and just exuding Elegance and Peace like it’s No Big Deal. So Soft for anybody speaking the Truth about Wei Wuxian. 9/10

Lan Wangji didn’t expect to just get Called Out like this, damn. 5/10

It’s really impossible to say whether the Sword or Those Hateful Eyes are more deadly. 3/10

Lan Wangji goes ahead and tosses a Glare Jin Guangyao’s way, just so he knows that They’re Onto Him and His Evil Smile and His Stupid Hat. This is just a Starter Glare, merely the tip of the Hate Iceberg. They’ll work their way up from here. 4/10

The Absolute Betrayal. The Heartbreak. It’s like Wei Wuxian wasn’t even listening to Lan Wangji’s Drunken Confessions about his Regrets, which, tbh is Hurtful, but also ideally Wei Wuxian should Forget Every Drunken Confession. 1.5/10

ThatSmile. This is the Least Peaceful Situation but he is absolutely Radiating Peace anyways. 10/10

Can this man not go just Five Minutes without sustaining some sort of Life-Threatening Injury at the hands of an Aggrieved Family Member. What is Lan Wangji supposed to do with him. How is he supposed to Live Like This. 3/10

Let Lan Wangji Take Care of You, Wei Wuxian. You are giving your poor soft boy Anxiety. 5/10

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have a conversation entirely via Facial Movements about exactly how Cool With A Little Aiding and Abetting of Fugitives Lan Xichen is. Somehow this Works! Soulmates! 6.5/10

If Stair Declaration wasn’t enough for you, I give you Lan Wangji just… Trusting Unconditionally. Zero Doubt In His Eyes. Not even a Moment of Hesitation. Unreal. 9.5/10

Sure maybe you played a section wrong, but you still did great, sweetie, Lan Wangji is really proud of you, it’s a very hard song actually. 6/10

Lan Wangji takes no pleasure in being Completely Correct about Trusting Wei Wuxian and his Evil Music Theory. And of course he would never say that he told him so. But like… ^{told you so brother.}4.5/10

Lan Wangji maybe kind of Regrets letting Wei Wuxian’s Mind wander off in the middle of Hostile Territory in the body of a Very Charming but also Extremely Shreddable paperman. 3/10

Lan Wangji, aggressively: Anyways, here’s Clarity. 2/10

Lan Wangji tries out a Concerned Face on Wei Wuxian. He’s had a lot of opportunities to practice this one. 3.5/10

Wei Wuxian talks a Mad Game for a dude who was Not Responsible for taking down Literally Any of These Dudes. Lan Wangji is too busy working on a good Fighting Scowl to contradict him. Plus, you know, it’s nice to let Wei Wuxian have A Little Fun. 5.5/10

Lan Wangji has Absolutely No Patience Left. He’s got his Most Dangerous Scowl on, that Eyebrow Slant is Murderous, and it’s time to Throw His Sword at Strangers. 4/10

Lan Wangji explains using Meaningful Eyebrow Positioning alone that they have Located Nie Mingjue’s Head. Somehow this Works! Lans! 4/10

Ah yes, the Small Jiang Wanyin. The Ungrateful Child who has a Dog that Wei Wuxian Hates and Fears. Lan Wangji is not inclined to listen to the Small Jiang Wanyin. 4.5/10

As if today couldn’t get any more Annoying, Noted Loser Su She has turned up to Sneer at Everything. Look at the Sheer Judgement in Lan Wangji’s Eyes, that Pure Dislike. And Su She deserves it. 3.5/10

Lan Wangji manages to Terrify a Roomful of Surly Teens with the Slightest Hint of Disapproval. How does he do it. What is his Secret. 5/10

He isn’t Angry, but he is Disappointed. Did the Romantic Moment they shared in a cave when Wei Wuxian was half out of his mind with Fever and Resentful Energy really leave so small an impression?? 7/10

Lan Wangji could just stab Jiang Wanyin. Would Wei Wuxian be Angry if Lan Wangji stabbed Jiang Wanyin? He would probably be A Little Angry. But if Jiang Wanyin keeps Running His Mouth it might be worth it… 3/10

Lan Wangji is perhaps a Tiny Bit Amused at the idea of Wei Wuxian wreaking havoc for the Jins while pretending to be Everybody’s Favourite Alleged Sex Pest, Mo Xuanyu. But Good Luck getting him to give you anything more than an Enigmatic Non-Smile about it. 8/10

Lan Wangji struggles valiantly to not judge Nie Huaisang Too Harshly. After all, he is simply Baby. But Wow, That’s A Lot Of Weeping. 7.5/10

Lan Wangji is absolutely Not Charmed by this tiny paperman. There is No Time for Tomfoolery Here! But wait, it shouldn’t leave Just Yet! Lan Wangji must Gaze Lovingly at it and tell it to Be Careful first! Just in case. 7/10

Lan Wangji is pretty over these Misty Hijinks. He is ready for Xue Yang to be Dead, or at the very least down a minimum of one (1) limbs in the near future. 3/10

Lan Wangji takes the opportunity to shoot a Mild Glare at Xue Yang. Xue Yang won’t appreciate it, but it’ll make Lan Wangji feel A Little Better 6/10

Lan Wangji contemplates life and death; the vagaries and cruelties of fate; how dizzyingly, devastatingly lucky he is to have gotten Wei Wuxian back. He was like Song Lan for so long, but now he is whole again. How much he lived in that despair, how intimately he knows it… Oh no, Wei Wuxian has noticed all the Brooding. Quick, Lan Wangji, say Something! 5/10

Nailed it. Great work, Lan Wangji. No Further Questions. 6/10

Lan Wangji looks at Song Lan and sees himself just a few weeks ago but, you know, Significantly Deader. 3.5/10

A Dead Body? Here, in the Coffin House?? A Dead Body in The Coffin House in Coffin City??? Who could have seen this coming. 3/10

We turn now from your regularly scheduled Murder Mystery to The Softest Boy in the World buying a Rabbit Lantern because Wei Wuxian smiled at him about it. 9.5/10

tfw you have to tell your older brother that his beloved sworn brother was murdered, and his decapitated corpse was hidden in a Haunted City by a Deranged Murderer 4/10

tfw you have to tell your older brother that his beloved sworn brother was pretty much definitely murdered by his other beloved sworn brother, who is probably also a Diabolical Mastermind bent on (Cultivation) World Domination. 3/10

Those juniors best not be talking shit about Wei Wuxian in there. 2.5/10

Lan Wangji makes the best of his Very Limited Screen Time to give us some Truly Powerful Glares that are frankly Wasted on Xue Yang, who has No Respect for Style. 4/10

Once again Lan Wangji Descends from the Heavens to Protect Wei Wuxian. He is Successful! Unfortunately, Xue Yang is Also Here, so that’s an instant -2 peace. 5/10

Lan Wangji has graduated from stealing Chickens to stealing Swords right out of the hands of Perfectly Innocent Cultivators. Lan Wangji has become a Menace. 4/10

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian take a little break to bully Xue Yang about how he is a Walking Disaster, as a treat. 6.5/10

How does he always manage to look So Unconcerned while literally inches away from death? Even Xue Yang’s Continued Existence can’t phase him. 6/10

Wei Wuxian should Stay Right Here and just Gently Hold Lan Wangji’s Hand For A Bit. This is Ideal. 10/10

He’s right, Lan Wangji. You Idiot. You Buffoon. A Chicken? What Were You Thinking. 1/10

Two Chickens. Yes!! Now We’re Talking. You’re a Genius, Lan Wangji 10/10

Wei Wuxian? Telling Lan Wangji to be Good? My how the Tables have Tabled. 10/10

He’s So Angry to have his Good Time utterly Ruined. Completely Unacceptable. The least this Spooky Bitch could do is Stand Still and Let Himself Be Stabbed. 1/10

Lan Wangji takes us on a roller coaster ride of all the Major Emotions: Breaking the Rules, Bunnies, Regretting Everything, and Sad. A truly impressive range. 5/10

Good. Tonight has been a Good Night. Stole some Chickens (for Love), did a Tiny Bit of Vandalism (for Fun), didn’t let Some Jerk kill Wei Wuxian (for Love). Plus he got to talk about So Many Feelings. Definitely nothing to feel Embarrassed or Ashamed about later! 10/10

The Shame just rolling off him in Waves. Look at that Averted Gaze. That Clenched Jaw. Someone please save this man from the Consequences of his Actions. 2.5/10

Absolute Panic. Lan Wangji teeters on the verge of a Qi Deviation or maybe just Screaming Internally and Running Away. 1.5/10

Something about this Thick Fog and Portentous Atmosphere tells Lan Wangji that they’re in Flashback City, Population: Ghosts. Time to make himself Scarce and fight a Mystery Man for a while. 4/10

Wheeeeen the moon’s in the sky, Wei Wuxian’s back to life, he’s a-peaceful. 9/10

Lan Wangji sees through Wei Wuxian so quickly it’s almost Embarrassing. Imagine being so Predictably Self-Sacrificing. Imagine being in love with someone so Predictably Self-Sacrificing. 4/10

Lan Wangji has never taken anything so seriously. This is The Most Deadly Serious Piggyback That Has Ever Occurred. This Piggyback is absolutely Non-Negotiable. 8/10

Lan Wangji Gently Menaces Nie Huaisang. He knows and we know that Nie Huaisang doesn’t need anything close to a Classic Lan Wangji Menacing to fold like a Very Expensive and Delicately-Painted Fan. 7.5/10

Get you a soulmate who cares about your hydration like Lan Wangji cares about Wei Wuxian’s. 8/10

Oh, the Nie Clan was so against demonic cultivation when it was Wei Wuxian doing it, but as soon as they need to Placate Their Angry Knives all bets are off? Lan Wangji is So Unimpressed. 4/10

History’s Most Homoerotic Duet. 9.5/10

Yes. 8/10

This is definitely a Great Idea. There Is No Possible Way It Could Go Wrong. 4/10

Lan Wangji doesn’t even need to move a single Eyebrow to imply Devastating Violence anymore. You have to respect that level of Growth. 7/10 

Is Lan Wangji going to Fight a Dog?? I don’t know, Maybe! His Most Dangerous Eyes say it’s possible. That dog kind of deserves it, what with its Menacingly Fluffy Face and its Little Wagging Tail. Extremely Threatening. 5/10

Lan Wangji will never, ever admit that Wei Wuxian making fun of strangers on the street could ever make him smile. But look at him. Zero in on those Lips. He has missed this so much. 8.5/10

Lan Wangji has watched Wei Wuxian Kill Thousands of Zombies, make a home in a Haunted Graveyard, and Challenge The Entire Cultivation World To A Fight. And now here he is. Cowering behind him. Because a dog barked in the distance. What is Lan Wangji’s Life. 7/10

It is possible that bringing a newly resurrected Wei Wuxian into a Spooky Ghost Cave in the middle of some Magical Woods was a Bad Call. 4.5/10

Great, now this kid is Haunted? This Rude Child wants to go Live In an Evil Wall? Sizhui Would Never, tbh. 4/10

Lan Wangji spends a solid half a minute dithering about whether he is willing to Let Wei Wuxian Out Of His Sight. He is! Good for him, that’s very Healthy!  4.5/10

Can’t believe that he let Wei Wuxian Out of His Sight just to chase Nie Huaisang through the woods. So Unimpressed. 3.5/10

He’s so distracted by Making Meaningful Eye Contact across a battlefield that he Actually Gets Injured. Such are the Perils of Yearning, friends. 1/10

Wei Wuxian’s Maniacal Laughter and Unrestrained Weeping feel like Kind Of A Bad Sign. Tonight is Really Not Going Lan Wangji’s Way. 1/10

Lan Wangji attempts to talk Wei Wuxian down using his most Sorrowful Eyes and Fearful Brows. It is not super effective. 0.5/10

Wei Wuxian is not allowed to die, and that is Final. Lan Wangji has upgraded to his Most Furrowed Brows and Saddest Eyes for this. A Very Powerful Combination. It might just work, as long as no Betrayed Brothers get involved. 0/10

Jiang Wanyin is really the Worst Brother-In-Law In History. An F- of a person. A person with whom one could easily imagine spending the next 16 years of their life locked in a Bitter but Unspoken Hatred. 0/10

This is it, folks, Lan Wangji has hit the absolute Nadir of Peace. He is a Broken Man. He will Never Be Happy Again*. The Peacefulness Scale is Forever Recalibrated by this moment. -3/10

Brace Yourselves for a Peacefulness Whiplash. He has Actually Moved His Face to do a Little Smile. Look at him! Pure and Perfect. It’s been sixteen years. He deserves every second of this. 9/10

I Hope Sitting In This Cold Spring Doesn’t Raise Any Questions About My Mysterious Scars. 7/10

Lan Wangji is Distressed to discover that this is what Wei Wuxian considers as Being Stealthy. He’s wearing his usual colours, playing their love song on his usual instrument, and doing all of this maskless, right in front of Lan Qiren, who both Knows and Hates him. The Lack of Self-Preservation is Staggering but Comfortingly Familiar. 6/10

Oh no we are Absolutely Not Doing This Again. Lan Wangji had quite enough of Wei Wuxian getting all Haunted and Shit sixteen years ago. Lan Wangji will be confiscating all of his Sword Ghosts and Ghost Swords and Swords and Ghosts for the foreseeable future. 4.5/10

Lan Wangji is totally not engaging in Any Shenanigans. What a terrible example to the juniors that would make him. Wei Wuxian merely slipped. 8/10

He’s so Absolutely Panicked now that he’s actually letting Strangers see it with their Own Eyes. 2/10

Okay, rooftop confrontation. He can do this. They’ve done Rooftop Confrontations before. Just, you know, maybe not with quite so many Fatalities. 1.5/10

This is without a doubt the Worst Time that Lan Wangji has had on a rooftop with Wei Wuxian. 1/10

Okay yeah sword fighting was a Bad Idea. We don’t need swords here. What we need is a Romantic Explanation about how Lan Wangji has Saved Their Child From Certain Death and no big deal but if Wei Wuxian could just Come Back to Gusu– 2.5/10

Jiang Yanli has really picked the Worst Possible Time to stroll onto this Haunted Battlefield to Try To Save Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji was in the middle of Trying To Save Wei Wuxian. Very Frustrating. 1.5/10

Lan Wangji immediately gives up All Pretences. He is Playing for Team Wuxian. Time to fight a bunch of Former Friends and Allies. For Love. Anyone with Questions is welcome to come Get Stabbed About It. 1.5/10

Lan Wangji never even got to try Jiang Yanli’s soup 1/10

Lan Wangji’s face does Every Movement it Knows. But it’s not enough. 1/10