In honor of Holloween, I present to you, “クレヨンしんちゃん 恐怖の幼稚園だゾ” - “It’s Crayon Shin-chan and the Terrifying Kindergarten.”
I was reminiscing with one of my friends the other day of some of the first things that ever scared and left an impact on us, and I recalled this episode segment from an episode of Crayon Shin-chan that I watched when I was about five. My memory of it was a little different obviously, but the general atmosphere is the same, and having hunted this down online and rewatched it again now; more than 20 years later, I feel totally validated.
Here’s what goes down:
It’s the end of summer break. Kazama-kun is picked up by the school bus whose only student passengers are his friends (which goes unremarked upon) and—to his slight unease— regular teacher’s rival/Rose Class’s teacher, Matsuzaka-sensei. When questioned, Matsuzaka-sensei explains she’s covering Sunflower Class for their regular teacher since the latter is helping out with the welcome back orientation.
The school is eerily silent, but Matsuzaka-sensei tells the kids that everyone’s just gathered in the gym, so they should leave their book bags in their classroom and then come join them. Kazama-kun, however, notices something odd, “Sakura Class, Rose Class, Sunflower Class…” There’s an extra classroom where there shouldn’t be.
As Shin-chan and co. are about to open the door, Kazama-kun calls for them to wait. When he tries to point out the discrepancy to Matsuzaka-sensei, she only counts the three classrooms. Dismissed for simply miscounting, Matsuzaka-sensei leaves for the gym and the other kids open the door.
After the kids have left their bags behind, they head to the gym. Kazama-kun hears the sounds of his fellow peers from the gym with relief, but when he slides the door open it’s to pitch black silence. Shin-chan thinks everyone’s just playing a mass game of hide and seek, when Matsuzaka-sensei comes up behind them to say she can’t find anyone.
Once again, they count the number of classrooms, and this time there are definitely four. And that last classroom is the only place they’ve yet to check.
Kazama-kun: “Are the principal and the others just trying to surprise us?”
Matsuzaka-sensei: “Hah. Hopefully it’s only that.”
Saying this is going too far for a joke, Matsuzaka-sensei leads the rest inside. The room is empty, floors dusty, and tables and chairs left haphazard. Kazama-kun notes the only place left now is the bathroom inside.
As Matsuzaka-sensei agrees, the door shuts suddenly behind them, plunging them into darkness, before the room’s lit up by glowing red spirit wisps.
Kazama-kun can’t open the door as Nene-chan cries she wants to go home. Crossly, Matsuzaka-sensei demands the teachers show themselves. After a beat of silence where no one replies, Nene-chan realizes Masao-kun is missing.
In the bathroom, the remaining four open up the stall doors at the same time. But once again, they find no one. At least, Kazama-kun, Shin-chan, and Matsuzaka-sensei don’t. When they check on Nene-chan however, she’s somehow disappeared as well. Kazama-kun enters deeper into the stall and hears her crying voice distantly… coming from the toilet.
The water bubbles briefly before disappearing down the drain. The volume of the cries increase as the toilet flushes again, and water rushes through the pipes through the walls, before a flood of water comes up again, throwing the remaining three against the opposing wall.
Matsuzaka-sensei looks up, and out pops the solidified stone figure of her rival. Seconds later, Nene-chan and the other children follow; raining bits of stone and plaster on their heads.
Matsuzaka-sensei bursts into hysterical laughter and collapses on the ground. As Kazama-kun tries to get her to calm down, the room starts to shake, and the hanging figures start to crumble and fall off the ceiling. Shin-chan, terrified, tries to make a run for it. But the bathroom door locks shut before him, and the statue of their principal crushes him into silence.
Kazama-kun spots the broken pieces of his teacher and peers and tries to shake Matsuzaka-sensei to get up. She reaches up behind him and grabs Kazama-kun by the back of his head. In a deep guttural voice, she asks him, “Shall I turn you into a statue too?”
Kazama-kun is woken up by his mother, who laughingly tells him to fix his bedhead. As she leaves, Kazama-kun pats the back of his head, only to come away with holding bits of rubble.
Eerily, Kazama-kun greets his friends on the bus in the exact same way as he’d done earlier in the dream. And same as in the dream, instead of his regular teacher, Matsuzaka-sensei is waiting on the bus, with the same exact excuse for why she’s there instead.
And then the episode ends with Kazama-kun more than a little freaked out and running around the bus in circles trying to avoid Matsuzaka-sensei.
Listen, everything from the music scores, sound cues, animation, direction, and general atmosphere was pretty intense ok?! It was really well done, and honestly, I’m still pretty impressed by this segment. This shit haunted me for ages, and I’m pretty sure is the primary reason anytime I’m scared of entering an empty bathroom is because of this right here. And that’s putting aside the whole haunted-bathroom trope, which is legit a ubiquitous part of like, human culture apparently.
Episode 104 of the original animefeaturedAkiko YajimaasTamasaburouandMiki NarahashiasChagama. Both actresses appeared in Crayon Shin-chan, and thus the episode featured an extended reference to the series. Chibiusa had a disturbing encounter with Shinnosuke, a boy whose mannerisms were very similar to the title character. He was played by Yajima, who also played Shin-chan. Shinnosuke’s mother, as in the original, was played by Narahashi.
