#date a demisexual person

Here’s a story: I grew up wanting to get pregnant. Didn’t know how. Didn’t know it usually involved another person. Just knew, as young as 5, that I loved how pregnant people looked and the result was a baby. I love babies.

Problem 1: I learned as a teenager what sex actually was (and I’m talking LATE teens. I missed some classes in Sex Ed, and my mom didn’t tell me a damn thing about why I had my period every month). I didn’t start feeling arousal until maybe 19? “Late bloomer.”

Problem 2: I don’t like 95% of the kids roaming the earth. Even as a kid, I didn’t like many other kids, especially the ones on TV. Precocious twits.

Anyway, fast forward. My older sister has a baby, and after an endless night of her crying while babysitting, that was the first time I said, “I’M NEVER HAVING KIDS!”

I meant it, but I still wanted a baby. In fact, my cousin and I had a pact that in the future I would raise her baby and she could raise my toddler (that’s how much I don’t like children).

Fast forward again, and I go through high school and college with a few casual boyfriends, only one of which I even kissed, and that was enough for me ☂️(Pretend this is the ace version of a red flag).

Fast forward one more time to me hitting my 30s having missed my childhood goal to get married and have 3 kids before 30. It was in my 30s I discovered demisexuality and about 37 (the age I am now) when I resigned myself to never even finding anyone I want to have a child with. After chemotherapy, I don’t even know what my eggs are looking like.

But last week, I spoke with a doctor about getting fibroids removed, and though one of the options was getting a hysterectomy, I realized…I want my uterus. I never know who I can meet in the next few years.

So to wrap this up, I surprised myself that a part of me still wants to try to have a child I might like.