#demisexual
Lemme kick the fucking bear again.
“Ace people can want and have sex!” directly throws people who actually don’t want sex under the bus.
And when I talk about asexuals feeling like they have to sleep with someone, or feeling like they should have sex they aren’t interested in, I don’t even fuckin believe in asexuality. So I’m not talking about your twitter mutual who is “asexual” but fucks like a rabbit. I’m talking about people who have a low, almost nonexistent, libido for whatever reason who are having sex for others rather than themselves. And I fuckin specified that.
Those people are out there, and all the people who wanna be fuckin special are actively harming them by pushing the idea that it’s totally okay to sleep with people you aren’t attracted to.
There are people out there who need to be told it’s okay to not have sex. Need to be told it’s okay to be celibate. Need to be told it’s okay to seek out a romantic relationship with someone who is gonna be okay or even happy with never having sex again.
“You can have sex” is not fucking revolutionary. It’s not helping anyone. Especially a group that is mostly female; it’s not helpful to tell them they can have sex out of obligation to their partner (typically a boyfriend).
Why is it always the people who may actually face hardship who get tossed tf out by these oh so woke queers?
The idea that “asexual” people can have sex just to satisfy their partner and that’s an okay good thing never sat right with me, but it actually terrifies me now.
Why would their partner want that? I can’t think of a reason that you would choose to have sex your partner doesn’t want if you love them. I can’t think of one.
It’s different from “one of us is in the mood, one of us isn’t, but we’ll both get there” (even though that can be an iffy way of going about things sometimes)
Like, how I feel about asexuality itself is irrelevant here. Let’s just follow the logic:
- Your partner doesn’t like sex
- Is not attracted to you
- Does not get aroused how the average person does, at the very least
- May not get aroused at all
- May or may not get any enjoyment out of actual sex
- You know all this
- You still sleep with them
- You still ask for sex
You cannot love someone if this is how you treat them. I see it as predatory behavior.
no offence but i think a lot of us me included don’t actually want romantic love as badly as we think and really are just lonely and crave a closeness and intimacy that feels out of reach in friendships because of society’s emphasis on marriage and the nuclear family so we project that into the never ending search for a perfect love and a soulmate when really we all just want to mean something to someone
I’m the asexual who was sent to conversion therapy as a young teen.
I’m the asexual who thought they were messed up, and broken, and all alone.
I’m the asexual who was told by people who I thought were my friends that God didn’t approve of my ‘alternative’ lifestyle.
I’m the asexual who felt lost in the clothing isles because I didn’t want to look ‘sexy’.
I’m the asexual that struggles with depression, fear, and inadequacy.
I’m the asexual that is being blocked off from resources. Or that you want out of the LGBTQ+ community.
I’m the asexual who is being negatively affected by the ace discourse.
I’m the asexual facing erasure, invalidation, and hate.
Please consider this.
Aphobia exists.
If you don’t believe it does then you may very well be contributing to it.
Please think of the people you are effecting.
Be kind.
Be compassionate.
Please.
Don’t read the reblogs. Christ.
“Demisexuality does not refer to the active restraint or repression of sexual desires or actions.”
Being demisexual means you genuinely can’t comprehend why people cheat on their partners in movies. Or struggle being faithful….
Me, trying to find other aros or aces in a Christian event:
“Never have I ever had a celebrity crush”
Happy Ace Day! Eat as much cake and garlic bread you like!!! Calories don’t count today!!!!!!!
if ur lgbt im curious: pls rb with ur sign, orientation and if ur a coffee or tea person
really inconvenient when you’re a horny demisexual, and the only person you’re interested in having sex with is not available
an unfortunate announcement
I’m sorry, but I cannot be running this blog anymore for a number of reasons.
1) It’s not been that great for my mental health. There’s only been a couple of stressful things about it, all of which have passed. But between everything else in my life and the couple experiences I had, I haven’t had an amazing experience with this blog since. Not bad, but not good.
2) I’ll be going on a religious mission in less than a year and will be unable to be on tumblr during that time.
3) It’s a lot harder to do this while living with five people that I’m not out to and having a considerable less amount of privacy I had compared to before (sharing a room with a roommate, people being home often in the living room, etc).
So because of those reasons, I don’t think I’ll really be on here any longer. That said, I don’t want to delete this blog. A lot of cool stuff is up here. I’d be more interested in adding someone to here to run things.
I might start things up later when I’m done with my mission and have a better living situation, but that’ll be in a while, but I still refrain from deleting because of that as well.
DM me if you’re interested in being the mod here.
Sorry and thanks for understanding.
I guess “demi culture is… LITERALLY BEING A XIAN NLOG!!!”
This is fucking sick.
What, the LDS wasn’t “persecuted” enough for Sister Demi Culture, she’s got to pretend to be a “queer” Mormon, as well??
Yeah, fuck this shit. My gay arse has been with enough ex-Mormon gays to know that the LDS cult LITERALLY has tweaked their Anti-LGBT “conversion” to induce sex-repulsion and repress people to believing that they’re “asexual” —literally one of the MOST OPPRESSIVE Xian sects in existence LITERALLY PREFERS ASEXUALS TO LGBTQ PEOPLE, and yet you dumbfucks still like to pretend y'all are oppressed! Fuck you all.
Hey guys! Today I was talking to some of my friends and the subject came up about coming out. My one friend came out as bi to me and I never realized she was bi! Then a chain of my friends started coming out to me. I never realized I had a bi friend, three gay friends, and a demi friend! Afterwards I came out to them as pan and we all laughed together. We feel closer than ever.
You guys who haven’t come out to anyone yet, you aren’t alone, and you should try to come out! Coming out is an amazing feeling, you’ll feel like a new, better person. Love you guys! <3
~Caitlin
NEW ACE/ARO “HUMAN” DESIGNS
now available in the flags for asexual, aromantic, greysexual, greyromantic, demisexual, demiromantic, acearo, quoi, and one with a combination with six of them.
You can buy them here.
They’re available as stickers, shirts (adults and children), posters, mugs, and like twenty more.
Post link
Happy Ace day to all my fellow Acespecs
To the Asexuals, Demisexuals, Greysexuals
To the Aceflux’s and cupiosexuals,
To the lithosexuals, fraysexuals
To all those on the ace spec that I haven’t listed
To the sex favourable. the sex indifferent, the sex repulsed
To those who are acepec: arospec, hetero romantic, bi romantic, homo romantic, pan romantic
To those still questioning or confused
To all those who are apart of this community (sorry if I did not list above)
You are all valid and beautiful.
Happy International Asexual Day
I was not aware that we had an international day.
Happy International Asexuality Day to my fellow Aspec peoples!!!
The idea that we all have a fixed sexual identity has created a toxic environment for learning about asexuality and aromanticism, Attraction is far too complex to be constrained within the Western labels created to define (and pathologize) our experiences.
An absence of sexual and/or romantic attraction does not imply that a person has “no attraction” or desires lifelong solitude. Attraction functions on multiple levels and in a multitude of ways.
•Sexual attraction: sexual desire based on attraction to another person
•Romantic attraction: desire to form a romantic relationship based on attraction to another person
An absence of these forms is not an absence of attraction. Relationships also dont have to be sexual/romantic.
The idea of “romance” itself is a social construct relative to how Western society has defined courtship practices. “Love” (an equally complex, yet broader, concept) should not be conflated with “romance.” Romance should not function as an expectation of a “healthy” relationship.
The naturalization of (hetero)sexual and (hetero)romantic expectations (that this form of sexual/romantic attraction and desire are natural and “normal”) came to be as a result of colonialism. What society sees as human “truths” are largely accepted products of violence.
Recognizing how a societal expectation has become naturalized (rather than just accepting it) is important because it’s important to ask why things are the way that they are when what is now understood to be “natural” negatively constricts the complexity of human experience.
