#black aces
Here’s a story: I grew up wanting to get pregnant. Didn’t know how. Didn’t know it usually involved another person. Just knew, as young as 5, that I loved how pregnant people looked and the result was a baby. I love babies.
Problem 1: I learned as a teenager what sex actually was (and I’m talking LATE teens. I missed some classes in Sex Ed, and my mom didn’t tell me a damn thing about why I had my period every month). I didn’t start feeling arousal until maybe 19? “Late bloomer.”
Problem 2: I don’t like 95% of the kids roaming the earth. Even as a kid, I didn’t like many other kids, especially the ones on TV. Precocious twits.
Anyway, fast forward. My older sister has a baby, and after an endless night of her crying while babysitting, that was the first time I said, “I’M NEVER HAVING KIDS!”
I meant it, but I still wanted a baby. In fact, my cousin and I had a pact that in the future I would raise her baby and she could raise my toddler (that’s how much I don’t like children).
Fast forward again, and I go through high school and college with a few casual boyfriends, only one of which I even kissed, and that was enough for me ☂️(Pretend this is the ace version of a red flag).
Fast forward one more time to me hitting my 30s having missed my childhood goal to get married and have 3 kids before 30. It was in my 30s I discovered demisexuality and about 37 (the age I am now) when I resigned myself to never even finding anyone I want to have a child with. After chemotherapy, I don’t even know what my eggs are looking like.
But last week, I spoke with a doctor about getting fibroids removed, and though one of the options was getting a hysterectomy, I realized…I want my uterus. I never know who I can meet in the next few years.
So to wrap this up, I surprised myself that a part of me still wants to try to have a child I might like.
we need 2 normalize characters who dgaf about romance
sorry im literally so tired of everyone being shipped with someone can a guy not just chill
i want 2 say this isnt just about aro characters. im aro i love aro characters i love ace characters but this also is about allo characters. its normal and healthy and fine for alloromantic people to not be in romantic relationships and i wish media reflected that
Stop treating a disinterest in marriage, romance, or relationships like a character flaw that needs to be fixed.
That’s the one!
My cousin walked up to me at our other cousin’s party and said, “Do something for me.”
We’re a week apart, and I also have zero issues with inhibition, so I said, okay.
She held out her arms and asked me to put my hands through her bell sleeves. I did, and then she said, “Now, I have an ace up my sleeve .”
Absolutely love her.
HappyInternational Asexuality Day to all my established, newfound, umbrella, and questioning aces out there. You are loved, and you are VALID!
But anyway, weed and sex.
Hi! I’m working on a research essay for class and I would appreciate it if black ppl who identify as ace and/or aro took this survey!
Being Black in the Ace and/or Aro Community
[Reblogs would be greatly appreciated!]
If anyone would care to help update it, I’ve set up a new google doc for Ace POC resources, since the other resource lists I”m aware of aren’t actively updating.
We’re currently trying to work on the section for resources for Black aces first.https://docs.google.com/document/d/1D-hEueVjziJoK9lIpbOQXzEJjmImRGGQXdzHFlFWf18/edit#
Three Essays by Black Asexual Women
“Romance Is Not the Only Type of Black Love that Matters” by Sherronda J. Brown
“The bonds that Black womxn share amongst ourselves are unlike any other. It is with Black womxn that I am able to be completely and unapologetically myself. It is with Black womxn that I have been able to foster a sisterhood, kinship, and camaraderie that fulfills me and will never let me be alone.”
“As a Black Woman, Celebrating Pride This Year Has Been Hard” by Yasmin Benoit
“Now is the time to remember that queer culture wouldn’t exist without Black culture and Stonewall wouldn’t have happened without Black trans women. Even if none of that were true, it wouldn’t make our struggle any less significant to the LGBTQ+ community. All Black Lives Matter, no ifs, no buts, no justification. That includes Black trans lives, Black gay lives, Black bisexual lives, Black asexual lives, Black non-binary lives. That’s what I’m going to make some noise about, and you should too.“
“The Hardships of Being an Asexual Woman of Color” by Kimberly Steele
“I feel like growing up as a black cis female, I wasn’t given many choices with any kind of way to have a healthy relationship with sexuality. It’s almost like everyone, no matter what race they were or what religion they followed, was raised to view sex and sexual situations the same. That method didn’t work for a great number of people of color, and I feel like my relationship with sex (well, lack of a relationship to it) is part of that.”
Post link
Happy Pride, here’s an important article for us to read, talk about, and work on.
Warnings for discussion of sexual/reproductive violence, antiblack racism, and fetishization.
“Black asexuals deserve to have more visibility and clarity, and Black people deserve to embrace our sexualities outside of the confines of prescribed hypersexualization.”
