#dogpoo
KENNY:Oh god…
KENNY:Ohhh shit– pick up the damn phone for chrissake–
TOKEN:Kenny…?
TOKEN: You alright?
KENNY:No I ain’t alright!
KENNY:Karen hung up on me!
TOKEN:Oh…
TOKEN: Does that mean you’re done with my phone, then?
KENNY:N-no, no I gotta try n’ call her again.
KENNY:Just.
KENNY:Just gimmie a sec, she’s gotta pick up…
TOKEN:Right… take your time, dude..
KENNY:There’s no time to take!
KENNY:She hung up right after she said some damnstrangerwas in the house!
TOKEN:Oh, jeez…
KENNY:God dammit, I think she turned her phone off…!
KENNY:Oh god oh god, what thehell am I gonna do thirty fucking miles out of town?!
TOKEN: It’ll be okay Kenny, I’m sure–
KENNY:No, it’s not gonna be okay!
KENNY: Who knows who or what is in that house with her, look at where we are right now!
CRAIG:Hey.
CRAIG:Do you guys wanna shut up,maybe?
CRAIG:You’re distracting me from my shit.
TOKEN:Oh, sorry Craig…
TOKEN:Kenny’s having some issues with Karen, I think.
CRAIG:Uhuh…
CRAIG:I don’t care.
CRAIG:[grumble grumble]
CRAIG:(Can’t even browse tumblr without someone getting hay shoved up their ass right in front of me…)
CRAIG:(Why are either of them even still awake.)
CRAIG:(Why do I have to be cooped up in a stupid barn with all these people right now…)
CRAIG:(Why is–)
CRAIG:
CRAIG:Whhhh…
CRAIG:W–
CRAIG:That’s m–
CRAIG:That’s my blog.
CRAIG:This is on my blog.
CRAIG:Th–
CRAIG:…
CRAIG:WHAT IS THIS SHIT DOING ON MY BLOG???
CRAIG:I–
KENNY:Craig???
KENNY:What’s the matter, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you yell so loud in your life!
STAN:Yeah, shut the hell up over there, some of us are trying to sleep.
CRAIG:…Y…you shut up…!
CRAIG:Fuck your sleep, I have a problem!
STAN:Yeah, I know, we kind of got teleported here by a freaking demon, dude.
STAN:We’veall got problems right now, you’re not special.
CRAIG:I’ll kick your ass!
STAN:Go ahead, it’s already facing right towards you.
STAN: I’ll even wiggle it a little to make it a moving target, if you wanna make a game out of it.
CRAIG:WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
TOKEN: Jesus, dude, what’s wrong?
CRAIG:Besides Stan Marsh being as stupid as ever?!
KENNY:We mean what the hell made you yell so loud, dude???
CRAIG:Oh, I’ll tell you!
CRAIG: This guy is posting shitty selfies of himself on my blog!
CRAIG:MY blog, and he has the audacity to post them with–
CRAIG:W-with…
CRAIG:Withhim sitting right next to him like it’s nothing!
CRAIG:There’s a circus in my house and I’ll bet you money it was that stupid Tweek demon guy who led us all away so they could party it up in my room!
CRAIG:We should have never let that stupid goat take us all the way out here.
CRAIG:Now they’re all fiddling with my shit and probably having a laugh about it, look at him in this picture!
CRAIG:Look at who’s in the fucking picture with him!!!
KENNY: OH GOD…
CRAIG:Oh god is right!
CRAIG:They’re messing with all my shit!!!
CRAIG: I’m freaking the hell out!
CRAIG:I’m so fucking close to kiCKING STAN’S STUPID ASS STOP SHAKING YOUR BUTT AROUND YOU FUCKING DELIRIATE.
STAN:maybe shut up first lol
KENNY:OH MY GOD, KAREN!
KENNY:SHE SAID SHE WAS HANGING OUT WITH YOUR SISTER IN YOUR HOUSE, CRAIG.
KENNY:SHE HUNG UP AND WON’T ANSWER MY CALLS!
TOKEN: They tried to chuck us all off the side of a bridge, who knows what they could be doing right now?!
CRAIG:TOUCHING MY SHIT IS WHAT THEY’RE DOING!!!
CRAIG:Touching my shit, putting pictures of themselves and Thomas’s corpse sitting in my bedroom!
TOKEN: Craig, I think this is a little more important than them touching your computer!
TOKEN:They could have hurt your guys’ sisters!
CRAIG:BUT LOOK AT WHAT HE POSTED ON MY BLOG!!!!!
KENNY:Craig, I know it’s probably goddamn traumatizing to see that shit right now!!!
KENNY:I know it’s hard for you to grasp this sorta thing during a meltdown.
KENNY:I’msorry you’re having a difficult time with all of this crap, but there’s people actually in danger in your house right now, man!
CRAIG: Don’t tell me I’m having a meltdown!
TOKEN: Oh my god,okay–
TOKEN:Kenny, let’s just pull ourselves away for a minute here.
CRAIG:Don’t turn your backs on me like that!!!
TOKEN:JustignoreCraig for a second.
TOKEN: There’s demons in Craig’s house, Karen and Craig’s sister are in Craig’s house– what do you think should be done?
TOKEN: What can we possibly do from here?
KENNY: I ain’t got a damn clue!
KENNY:Wegotta get someone over there to help them out!
TOKEN: Okay, well maybe that isn’t such a good idea?
TOKEN:We’ve seen what they can do, right?
TOKEN:Is it smart to drag someone else into this?
KENNY: Token, you don’t have a freakin’ sister, you don’t know what this is like.
TOKEN:Okay.You’re right.
TOKEN:But I don’t know if–
KENNY:Wait.
TOKEN: What is it, man?
KENNY: I know exactly who to call.
KENNY:Ain’t no way he’s tangled all up in this mess yet, neither.
KENNY:Won’t gonna get his ass whooped neither.
TOKEN:Okay, well who’s that?
KENNY:My boyfriend.
DOGPOO: snrrk nsnzznnzzzzzzzzzzz…,.
[ ♫ I’M A BARBIE GIRL, IN A BARBIE WORLD ♫ ]
[ ♫ LIFE IN PLASTIC, IT’S FANTASTIC ♫ ]
DOGPOO:fhnfnhmmghfghg
DOGPOO:[yawn]
DOGPOO:An unknown caller disrupting my sleep, now…?
DOGPOO:Justwho on earth could be calling me at this devilish hour of the night…?
DOGPOO:Mmhhello–
KENNY:Hushpuppy stain in the rug, we got some demon huntin’ to do!
KENNY:Grab yer damn shooter n’ get ready to pump lead!!!
DOGPOO:KENNY???
KENNY:Damn right!
DOGPOO:DEMON HUNTING?
DOGPOO: Y’AIN’T PULLIN ME, ARE YOU NOW?
KENNY: Hell no, I ain’t whistlin’ no dixie over here, I’m a gallon o’ gas aways from town and the fuckin’ devil’s stampin’ his hooves in town!
KENNY: Get your red ryder and get ready to shoot some damn eyes out!
DOGPOO: You soundoh so serious, I hardly recognize the tone, honeypot!
DOGPOO: Your words shot me wide awake quicker than the smell of pie in the morning, I just can’t resist a shootin’ with you!
KENNY:I’m serious!
KENNY: I’m cooped up in a barn outta town, and there’s demons runnin’ amok with my damn sister out there!
KENNY: She’s up in a heap of danger and I ain’t got nobody in the world I’d trust more than youto keep her safe right now.
KENNY:Never been more serious in my life, ragamuffin.
DOGPOO:Oh.
DOGPOO:Karen’s caught in the throes of the devil, is she now?
DOGPOO:Seems we really ain’t playing rockahorse.
KENNY: I don’t joke around when it comes to who I love, don’t go reckonin’ I’d do it to you.
DOGPOO: I see.
DOGPOO:Well then, I’d be duller than the heel of my boot if I didn’t think I could do something about that, wouldn’t I?
DOGPOO: A demon or two doesn’t quite sound like nothin’ a shell can’t handle.
KENNY:Dogpoo, these are serious folks you’re gonna be ditzin’ around with.
KENNY:Damn near chucked me n’ my friends off a bridge a couple hours back.
DOGPOO:I still don’t see the issue here, darlin’.
DOGPOO:You might have death’s hand hovering your shoulder, but one look at me and they’ll be wishing they were busy chopping onionsinstead.
DOGPOO:I’ll get your sister out of the slick, just you wait.
KENNY:Alright. I trust you, mudskip.
KENNY: You’re the rankest varmint this side of Colorado, if anybody’s gonna get them runnin’, it’s you.
DOGPOO: A threat is nothing more than a man who’s pride is in his hands, not his skin.
KENNY:You really grabbin’ your shotty, yeah?
DOGPOO: Would you expect anythingless after you’ve excited me so?
DOGPOO:I’ve got an itchy finger just beggin’ for a trigger to pull now.
KENNY:Okay, good.
KENNY:But keep them earholeswide for me, water nugget.
KENNY:You gotta be real damn careful.
DOGPOO: I believe we’ve been over this already, Kenny.
DOGPOO:Am I to understand you’re doubting my abilities here?
KENNY:Not at all.
KENNY: These people ain’t just strangers, though.
KENNY:Well, most of them, anyhoo.
KENNY:Youwillknow one of them, for sure.
KENNY:I ain’t got a clue on how many of them are there, but they’re all stuck up in Tucker’s house.
KENNY:Stick your barrel in the nose of any horned bastard you so damn please, but for the love of all mighty…
KENNY:Don’t let that poor bastard Thomas stick around them.
DOGPOO: You’ll need to be more specific than that,sweetie pie.
DOGPOO:There’s a few Thomas’ in this town that come to mind off of the top of my head.
KENNY:Look, I ain’t gonna dilly dally here– you’ll know what I mean if you see ‘em.
DOGPOO: Alright, so your shopping list here’s one Karen, one Thomas, and a face o’ lead for a demon or two, huh?
KENNY:Craig’s sister’s there with Karen.
DOGPOO:Only logical, considering what residence I’m being pointed off to.
KENNY:I don’t care what’s done.
KENNY:Just get those kids outta there.
DOGPOO:Anything for you, sunshine.
DOGPOO:Ain’t a day where you can’t count on me.
KENNY: I know.
KENNY:I love you.
DOGPOO:Love you too.
DOGPOO: Well, I suppose there isn’t anything like a two AM witch hunt…
DOGPOO: Oh, poor Kenny… whatever have you gotten yourself into this time.
