be my mistake, draco x reader

pairing: draco malfoy x reader
word count:2,2k
request: Could you write a imagine with Draco based on the song be my mistake - the 1975? I love your writing btw!
summary: to draco, you were nothing but a mistake.
a/n: i ABSOLUTELY love this request and song . as i’m in a very very similar situation, this was fairly easy to write. i did get a little emotional writing this ,,, so i hope u guys enjoy :’) <3
warnings: cheating, slight smut, mention of smut

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You could stare into his eyes forever. Something about him got you mesmerized, the way his ice blue eyes would sparkle whenever he did something he enjoyed, and the way his lanky finger would play with his silver rings that fit his fingers so perfectly; he never failed to make you weak at the knees. Your fingers intertwined perfectly with his and it was almost like your hands were made to run through his blond hair. You and Draco Malfoy had known each other for years now, and you two had been fooling around for as long as you could remember. It all started off innocently, just seeing each other to enjoy each other’s company. But Draco, later on, became your first everything. Your first kiss, the one who took your virginity, and most importantly; your first love.

You and Draco never really established what your relationship was. As you two grew older, you would start seeing each other purely because of the sex and nothing else. Except, to you, it meant everything. You had fallen head over heels with the taller boy, thinking about him every night and day; wanting to spend every single second with him. But you could tell Draco didn’t feel the same way towards you. The only time you saw him, besides class, was late at night when he would ask you to meet him outside of your common room. You knew it was nothing but him wanting to have sex, but it didn’t matter to you. As long as you got to spend time with him, you were happy.

Even though you knew he wasn’t in love with you like you were with him, your heart broke when he got a girlfriend. He met her at the end of the sixth year, and you were now approaching the end of your seventh year. You expected your relationship with Draco to end when he met her, but to your surprise, it didn’t. Even after the two of them got together, he would still come knocking at your dorm room, falling asleep next to you almost every night. He said it was because she just didn’t pleasure him the way you did, and even though you knew it was wrong, you couldn’t help it. 

‘’I’m just going to use the restroom,’’ You shouted to your friend, placing the glass you were holding in your hand on the table in front of you. As you were soon graduating from Hogwarts, a couple of Slytherins had decided to throw a party to celebrate. Of course, you had decided to go, bringing your friend with you, in hopes that you would see him. To your disappointment, you hadn’t seen him for the whole night. You had been there for a couple of hours now and you were slowly getting bored of the party; your only intention being to see him. You quickly stood up, feeling a little dizzy from all the drinks, making your way through the crowd.

You let out a sigh as you entered the empty room, the music slowly fading away as you got further and further away. You looked at yourself in one of the mirrors, touching up your hair using your hands. As you looked down at your bag you were now holding in your hands, searching for a brush, you heard someone enter the room. Suddenly, you felt a pair of lanky arms wrap around your waist; making you jump. ‘’Hello there,’’ Someone whispered into your ear, nuzzling their face into your shoulder. You quickly looked up at the mirror in front of you again, your whole body relaxing when you realized who it was. ‘’Hello there Draco,’’ You chuckled, your stomach immediately being filled with butterflies as you spotted his blond hair. ‘’You look absolutely stunning tonight Y/N,’’ He mumbled as he pressed a sloppy kiss against your neck, making you slightly tilt your head as you watched him in the mirror. His hands slowly made his way from your waist to your hips, stroking your body using his hands. ‘’I love this dress on you.’’ He mumbled again, pressing another sloppy kiss at the crook of your neck.

Truth was, you had only chosen that specific dress to get a reaction out of him. You smiled as a small blush spread across your cheeks, knowing your plan had worked. You could tell he was drunk, his words being slightly slurred and his hands getting closer to your breasts. His big hands slowly grabbed them, massaging them lightly as he continued to kiss down your neck. You let out a gasp as you turned around, playfully pushing him off you. ‘’Draco!’’ You let out, him stumbling back as he tried to regain his balance. ‘’I’m sorry, you just look too good,’’ He let out, throwing his hand into the air in defense. You let out a laugh as he got closer to you again, a small smile plastered on his lips. He slowly put his hands on your waist again, pulling you closer. You looked up at him as you placed your hands on his chest. ‘’What if someone sees us?’’ You whispered, his eyes scanning your body.

‘’Don’t worry,’’ He mumbled as he leaned down to press a kiss on your neck, your hands leaving his chest as you wrapped them around his neck. ‘’She’s already left.’’ The words made your heart drop, you had completely forgotten about her for a split moment. His touch made you forget the world around you, slipping into your own world. He looked up at you, his eyes glossy as he looked down at your lips. You looked up at him, pulling down using your hands. He pressed his lips against yours, you could taste the alcohol on them but you didn’t mind. You felt one of his hands traveling down your back, grabbing your ass. You let out a small moan as he smirked into the kiss. ‘’How about we leave?’’ He whispered, making you nod as he smacked your ass, making you gasp once again.

Since everyone was too busy partying, no one noticed you and Draco sneaking into his dorm. As soon as he closed the door, his lips were attached to yours once again. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss, placing one hand on your waist and using the other one to lock the door behind you. He pressed you against the door, you could feel the bulge in his pants growing as he pressed himself against you. You loved the effect you had on him, knowing no one else could do this to him; not even his own girlfriend. ‘’You really thought you could get away with wearing that, huh?’’ Draco mumbled into the kiss, making you slightly moan as one of your hands found their way to his hair, slightly pulling at it. He pulled away, inhaling as the kiss left both of you gasping for air. You looked at him for a second before smashing your lips against his once again. This time, it was rougher.

His hands pulled at the material of your dress, desperately trying to pull you closer to him. ‘’This dress needs to come off, now,’’ He grunted as he broke the kiss. His hands slowly made their way towards the back of your dress, playing with the zipper. But before he got the chance to pull the zipper down, you grabbed his hands. ‘’Draco, you’re drunk,’’ You mumbled, making him take his eyes off your body as his eyes met yours instead. ‘’C’mon Y/N, I need you so bad,’’ He groaned as his lips found their way back to your neck. You chuckled as you grabbed his cheeks, pulling him back up so he was once again facing you. ‘’As much as I want that, it’s not right,’’ You said with a small smile on your lips.

He looked down at you, furrowing his eyebrows. ‘’Why not? You know how good I could please you,’’ He continued, snatching his head away from your grip; his lips once again meeting your neck. This time, he was slightly sucking on the sensitive skin. As much as you wanted him to continue, you just couldn’t let it happen. ‘’Draco,’’ You let out in a stern voice, once again pulling him away from you. He looked down at you in confusion, licking his lips. ‘’It’s not fair. Not to her,’’ You mumbled. As soon as the words left your lips, Draco let out a groan in annoyance, taking his hands off your waist as he shook his head. ‘’How many times do I have to tell you? She won’t know!’’ He let out, making you regret your words. ‘’But it’s still not right,’’ You whispered, looking away from the taller boy; too scared to maintain eye contact. You could hear him sigh as he walked past you, making you turn around.

There was a long silence. You watched him place his hands over his eyes as he sat down on his bed, rubbing them. ‘’You love her, don’t you?’’ You blurted out. He looked up at you, confusion plastered on his face. ‘’Of course I do.’’ He answered, not taking his eyes off you. ‘’What is this then?’’ You asked, your voice starting to tremble as you spoke. He let out another sigh in annoyance, you could tell he was getting angrier. ‘’Look,’’ He muttered as he slowly stood up once again. ‘’You make me hard,’’ He chuckled as he slowly got closer to you. You watched him carefully. ‘’But she makes me weak.’’

The words stabbed you in the heart. You felt like the world came crashing down as the words left his lips, causing you to take a deep breath. You slowly shook your head, looking down at your feet. ‘’I think this was a mistake,’’ You mumbled, trying your best to hold the tears that were now burning behind your eyelids. ‘’Don’t be silly, Y/N,’’ Draco groaned, placing one of his hands on your cheek. You quickly snatched his hand away, looking back up at him. He stared at you for a moment, his expression empty; taken aback. ‘’Then be my mistake.’’ He let out after a short silence. The whole situation was so ironic, making you chuckle as you shook your head. ‘’No.’’ You said shortly, the tears threatening to fall down your cheek any second. ‘’I shouldn’t have asked you to come.’’ He muttered as he shook his head, turning around once again as he walked towards his bed. You watched him as he took his shirt off, throwing it across the room before he got into bed; pulling the sheets over his lanky body. You watched him turn around, quickly wiping your eyes dry before he could see that you were crying. ‘’Can you at least spend the night?’’

A small smile formed on your lips as you slowly walked towards the bed, sitting down. His back was facing you, your eyes scanning his body. Counting the birthmarks that were splattered all over his back, counting them just like you had done many nights before. There was always the same amount, 7, to be exact. You carefully laid down next to him, turning around you so were facing his back. You slowly wrapped your arm around his waist, trying to pull yourself closer to him. But the boy quickly wiggled out of your grip, making your arm fall down your side again. ‘’I don’t want to hug, I just want to sleep.’’ He muttered, his back still facing you.

You felt the tears well up behind your eyelids once again, shutting your eyes shut as you laid there in silence. You decided it was best not to say anything and just let him go to sleep. You knew this was the last time you would get to spend time with Draco this way, your heart aching as the thought entered your mind. A tear dropped down your cheek, doing your best to hold the sobs back. You let the tears stream down your cheeks as soon as you heard him lightly snoring in front of you, knowing he was asleep. You turned around so you were laying on your back, staring at the ceiling. 

You didn’t sleep that night. The heartbreak kept you awake all night, not that it mattered anyways because you knew you had to get up early so you could leave before everyone woke up. You left early, earlier than usual that morning, not even looking Dracos way one last time as you left his dorm. You knew that if you did, you would just break down crying. But as soon as you entered the halls and couldn’t smell his fragrance anymore, you felt your heart break into a million pieces. You hurried down the halls, tears leaving your eyes as you tried your best to hold the sobs back just like you had done a couple of hours earlier. 

That night was the last time Draco came looking for you late at night; both of you knew it was over. There was nothing left to say or do. The next day you watched how they walked down the halls, hand in hand, laughing. When he walked past you, not even looking your way; that was when you realized it was over. That was when you realized you were nothing but a mistake to him, and it absolutely killed you inside. The feeling of his rough lips pressed against your skin and his fingertips lingering over your bare thighs still remained, leaving you heart broken.

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friends, part 2, draco x reader

pairing: draco malfoy x reader
word count: 2,7k
summary: things suddenly change when your friend, draco, meets someone new.
a/n: part 2 of this imagine !! enjoy <3

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You hadn’t spoken to Draco in weeks. After he left you standing alone in one of the halls, feeling confused and heartbroken, you couldn’t find the courage to even look in his direction. He slowly started going to the classes you two shared, blaming his absence on ‘more important stuff’. People had been talking about why he hadn’t been attending some classes, some even asked you about it. But no one ever questioned him, everyone just went along with it and eventually just let go of the topic. You on the other hand, just couldn’t let go.

You were still utterly heartbroken. Sure, it had gotten easier being around him without your heart completely breaking or feeling like you were about to burst into tears any second. But the heartbreak always came lingering back at the end of the day, tears escaping your eyes as soon as you laid down in your bed where no one could see you. Hermione had been the first one to find you in the hallways, immediately spotting you crying while looking for you so the two of you could walk each other to class. That day, she swore that she would kill Malfoy one day. As soon as you told Ron and Harry about it, they swore that they would hex him next time they saw him. It took a while for you to talk them out of it, but eventually, you succeeded; even though it took a lot of convincing.

To your surprise, the heartbreak had led you to a new friendship. You had never interacted with Cedric Diggory during your time at Hogwarts even though you two shared a lot of classes together, until now. ‘’I don’t know what to do,’’ You complained, running your hands through your hair as you let out a sigh of annoyance. ‘’There’s no way I’m going to pass this class.’’ You said as Hermione hummed. ‘’Don’t say that,’’ She said, placing her hand on your shoulder. ‘’Why don’t you ask someone to help you out?’’ She asked, tilting her head. ‘’Like who? You’re too busy, Ron absolutely sucks at this subject and I know Harry is too busy as well,’’ You let out, throwing your hands in the air. Hermione looked around the room, scanning the students. ‘’I’ve heard Cedric is quite good at this class.’’ She eventually said, her eyes finding their way back to you. 

After that, you and Cedric became friends. He was more than happy to help you, and eventually, the friendship turned into more than just him helping you study. He would sit with you during breakfast, walk you to all your classes, he would even wait for you after his classes just so he could walk you back to your dorm. But even though he was an amazing friend, you hated to admit the fact that he was nothing but a replacement. Sure, he did all the things Draco would do, but it just wasn’t the same thing. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t let go of him. And you hated yourself for it.

Today was no different. You walked out of your class, already knowing Cedric would be waiting for you just around the corner. A smile formed on your lips as you spotted the dark-haired boy leaning against the wall, his eyes scanning the hallways. A big smile formed on his lips as he spotted you as well, walking towards you. ‘’Hello there Y/N,’’ He greeted you as he wrapped his strong arms around your waist, pulling you into a warm hug. You wrapped one of your arms around his neck, the other one holding your books. ‘’Hello Cedric,’’ You let out, holding onto him tightly. ‘’Do you mind me helping you out with those?’’ He asked as he pulled away from the hug, looking down at the books you were holding in your arms. ‘’Please.’’ You laughed as you handed him your books. He gave you a warm smile as you started walking down the halls.

You had to admit, Cedric was attractive. You knew every girl at Hogwarts thought the exact same thing, some girls had even tried giving him a potion that would make him fall in love with them. The first time Cedric told you about it, you couldn’t help but laugh. Who could blame them? He had everything a girl could possibly want. An amazing smile, his piercing eyes, and a charming personality. Yet, you just couldn’t let yourself fall for him. Any girl would fall head over heels for him if they were in your position, but you just couldn’t do it. Somewhere in your mind, the thought of Draco one day coming back to you still lingered and it was absolutely crushing you. 

The yellow scarf was hanging from his neck, complimenting his skin tone. His cheeks were slightly red from the cold, causing you to assume he had been waiting outside your classroom for quite some time. The school would get quite cold during the winter, the cold air easily slipping through the cracks of the walls causing you to shiver. ‘’Are you cold?’’ You asked, looking up at your friend. ‘’Can you tell?’’ He laughed as he placed one of his hands on his cheek, making you laugh. He smiled at you, not taking his eyes off you. ‘’Hey Y/N,’’ He let out after a short silence, slowing down. ‘’Yeah?’’ You replied, raising one of your eyebrows as you waited for him to continue his sentence. ‘’Who are you going with?’’ He asked as he stopped walking completely. ‘’To the ball, I mean.’’ He continued. You let out a small chuckle, shaking your head. ‘’No one has asked me yet,’’ You answered, knowing it was a lie. The truth was that the person you wanted to ask you hadn’t asked you yet. ‘’Well in that case, would you like to go with me?’’

The question made you raise both your eyebrows as you stared at the boy in front of you. He stared back at you, waiting for an answer. You inhaled the cold air as you looked away from his gaze for a second, thinking about the question. You knew Draco wasn’t going to ask you. The hope slowly faded away as you looked back at your friend, a smile forming on your lips. ‘’There is no one I’d rather go with, Cedric,’’ You said, a big smile immediately forming on his lips. He was quick to wrap his arms around you, pulling you into another warm hug. You let out a giggle as you hugged him back, closing your eyes. It was time to let go.

The word spread around Hogwarts faster than you could’ve imagined. The next morning when you walked into the Great Hall to eat breakfast, all eyes were on you. You looked around in confusion, quickly spotting Cedric sitting at the Hufflepuff table. He was sitting with his friends, all of them eventually spotting you as well. As soon as they saw you, they started tugging at Cedric; then it hit you. A blush crept up on your cheeks as you quickly looked away, realizing they must’ve heard that he was taking you to the Yule Ball. Your eyes scanned the room, suddenly locking with a pair of grey ones. 

Your heart stopped beating for a second. The blond boy was staring at you from across the room, an empty expression on his face. This was the first time in weeks you had actually seen Draco like this and you were not expecting it to happen any time soon, especially not now. You took a deep breath as you quickly looked away, tears filling your eyes as your heart started to ache once again. You started walking towards your friends, deciding that the best thing to do right now was just to avoid him and his gaze; even though you could feel his eyes burning into your back as you walked away.

‘’Cedric Diggory, the man himself!’’ Ron let out as you sat down beside him. ‘’The infamous Diggory,’’ Harry continued his friend’s sentence, a smile on his face. ‘’How did you do it?’’ Ron asked, looking at you with a big smile. You let out a chuckle, shaking your head. ‘’It’s a secret.’’ You smirked, making both Harry and Ron holler as Hermione let out a small laugh. ‘’I was starting to worry that you wouldn’t even go Y/N,’’ Hermione let out, you could hear the worry filling her voice. She had been extremely worried about you since the incident with Draco, constantly checking up on you. You gave her a reassuring smile as you placed your hand on her leg. ‘’Of course Hermione, I would never miss the ball.’’ You smiled, her smiling back at you as she nodded. You placed your arms on the table, slipping into your own world as your friends continued talking about the ball. You slowly looked the direction where Draco was sitting, but he was nowhere to be seen.

‘’Excuse me,’’ You suddenly heard a voice say behind you, making you slightly jump. You turned around, hesitating to do so. As soon as you spotted the person standing behind you, your heart dropped. There he was, standing right in front of you. ‘’You need to leave Malfoy.’’ Hermione quickly said, her fists clenching as she spoke. ‘’That’s not a very nice way to greet me, is it, Granger?’’ Draco hissed, a smirk on his face as he looked Hermione’s way. You could see Hermione looking your way, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look up from your lap. ‘’What do you want?’’ Harry scoffed. Draco looked his way before slowly looking over at you once again. ‘’I came to talk to Y/N.’’ He grunted, your heart dropping as he said your name. ‘’No, absolutely not,’’ Hermione exclaimed, quickly standing up as she shook her head. 

‘’I’m afraid it’s not your choice,’’ Draco chuckled, looking down at the shorter girl. ‘’So, Y/N, may I have a word with you?’’ He asked once again, looking back at you who was still sitting down. ‘’You don’t have to talk to him Y/N,’’ Hermione quickly said as her gaze met yours. ‘’Granger! Just stop talking already,’’ Draco hissed in annoyance. ‘’It’s okay Hermione, I’ll go talk to him.’’ You let out, giving her a small smile. She could see the sadness filling your face, but she knew there was nothing she could do about it so she just sat back down after a few moments of silence; letting out a huff in annoyance. You stood up, not daring to look up at Draco, scared that you would burst into tears. He grabbed your arm as he pulled you out of the room, just like he had done that day.

He eventually stopped walking as you reached a spot where no one could see or hear you, the lump in your throat growing bigger and bigger. You knew what had happened last time he wanted to talk, so you didn’t expect this to go down any differently; preparing yourself for another heartbreak. ‘’Cedric Diggory, huh?’’ He let out after a short silence. You could feel his presence in front of you, still not daring to look up at him. He placed his hands in his front pockets as a small sigh escaped his lips. ‘’Could you at least look at me?’’ He asked after another short silence. You inhaled some of the cold air before looking up at him, your eyes meeting his grey ones once again. ‘’Is it true that Diggory is taking you to the ball?’’ He asked, not taking his eyes off you. ‘’Yes,’’ You let out as Draco scoffed, shaking his head and he broke the eye contact. ‘’I’ve seen the two of you around,’’ He continued, making you raise one of your eyebrows in confusion. ‘’I see the way he looks at you.’’ He mumbled. ‘’We’re just going as friends.’’ You quickly mumbled, making him let out another scoff. ‘’Friends? Sure.’’ He scolded as his eyes met yours once again.

‘’I don’t see why it matters to you,’’ You eventually said. You were confused as to why he even cared, it wasn’t like he was planning on taking you anyways. ‘’I just care about you, that’s all,’’ Draco answered, causing you to chuckle. ‘’What’s that supposed to mean?’’ You asked, folding your arms. ‘’He’s just not a good guy Y/N,’’ He continued, making you gasp. You stared at him, disappointment filling your eyes. ‘’How dare you even say that?’’ You exclaimed, feeling the anger building up as you defended your friend. ‘’It’s not like you’re any better!’’ The words slipped out of you before you could stop yourself, slowly regretting what you had just said. ‘’You and Pansy truly do belong together, both of you are just as blind and ignorant.’’ You huffed before turning around to walk off, not wanting to say anything else; afraid it would only make the situation worse. 

Before you had the chance to walk away, you felt Dracos cold hand wrap around your wrist once again, pulling you back. ‘’Excuse me?’’ He snapped, anger filling his voice. ‘’Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about!’’ You snapped back at him, shaking your head. ‘’I made it so obvious,’’ You continued, getting more and more upset as you spoke. ‘’Yet you were the one who broke my heart Draco, not Cedric!’’ You exclaimed. ‘’Made what obvious?’’ Draco barked, furrowing his eyebrows in anger. ‘’That I like you stupid!’’

With that being said, Draco slammed his lips against yours. You had no idea what do to, feeling paralyzed as his hand grabbed your cheek, pulling you closer to him. The kiss was raw, filled with emotions as you slowly relaxed into his touch. You slowly placed your hand on his chest, grabbing onto the fabric. He slowly pulled away, leaving you confused. ‘’What?’’ You whimpered as his forehead touched yours. ‘’Can’t you see?’’ He breathed. ‘’It was always you,’’ He let out as his hand caressed your cheek. You furrowed your eyebrows. ‘’But, Pansy,’’ You mumbled, shaking your head. Draco let out a chuckle, shaking his head as well. ‘’Why do you think she didn’t want me around you?’’ He asked, looking down at your small figure compared to his. ‘’But you treat her so differently,’’ You whispered, looking into his eyes. ‘’Only because I didn’t know how to treat you, knowing that I liked you.’’ He answered.

You had no idea what to say or do. His words felt unreal, almost like it wasn’t true. ‘’But,’’ Draco said, his hand slowly leaving your cheek. The cold feeling of his silver rings left your skin, making you ache for his touch. ‘’I understand if you’re with Diggory now.’’ He said, disappointment lingering in his voice. ‘’I mean, it’s my fault isn’t it?’’ He chuckled, looking down at you. You quickly grabbed his hand before he let it fall down his side, placing it back on your cheek. ‘’Please just kiss me,’’ You whispered, your eyes meeting his once again. He looked at you for a moment before leaning down to press his soft lips against yours once again, your heart slowly being filled with warmth as you pulled him closer.

‘’I couldn’t stand the way he looks at you,’’ He whispered as he pulled away. ‘’The way he stared at you from across the room.’’ You shook your head as the words left his lips. ‘’I was hoping it was you that was staring,’’ You let out, making him chuckle. ‘’You already know I was.’’ He gave you half a smile as the words left his mouth, pulling you into his chest. You closed your eyes as his long arms wrapped around you, finally feeling safe and sound. ‘’I think I have someone to go break up with,’’ He whispered into your ear, making you slap his arm lightly. ‘’You better.’’


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friends, part 1, draco x reader

pairing: draco malfoy x reader
word count:2,2k
summary:things suddenly change when you friend, draco, meets someone new.
a/n:this is the first time i post in a very long time, i’m so very sorry ! i hope this is okay and that u enjoy reading it. part two will be out very very soon <3 ! (i’m so sorry if there’s any spelling mistakes) READ PART 2 HERE

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You could see Draco perfectly from where you were sitting. His blond hair was falling over his forehead, his hands placed on the table in front of him; playing with one of his silver rings as he spoke to the person sitting next to him. You sat down across the room, along with your friends. You had been friends with Draco for quite some time now, and at this point it was getting hard for you to deny the crush you had developed on him over time. It was getting obvious, everyone seemed to notice, even your friends. Everyone buthim.

‘’What you staring at Y/N?’’ Rons sudden voice made you snap out of your thoughts, quickly looking his way. You felt a small blush creep upon you cheeks as Hermione shook her head in disapproval. ‘’What do you think, Ronald?’’ She let out in annoyance, looking up from the book she was holding in her hands. ‘’She’s obviously staring at Malfoy.’’ She continued, making you slap her arm lightly. ‘’I wasn’t staring!’’ You let out, a desperate try to defend yourself. ‘’Whatever you say.’’ She said under her breath, rolling her eyes. ‘’You know,’’ Ron let out, his mouth stuffed with food. ‘’I just can’t understand how you’re friend with someone like him.’’ He said, looking Dracos way as he picked his plate using his fork. 

To be honest, you didn’t even know why you had fallen for the blond boy. Draco was known for his horrible ways, always picking on everyone, even you. But things changed as you got to know him, when you got to see the other side of him; the side people barely ever saw. He was actually quite a gentleman to the people he knew, he would always help you with your homework or invite you to hang out. Sure, he still had his moments where he could be really horrible, but as time passed that side slowly went away whenever he was around you. ‘’I don’t understand either,’’ Harry let out. ‘’You’ve seen yourself the way he acts.’’ You let out a small chuckle as your eyes found their way back to Draco. ‘’I wish I had an answer to your question Ron, but sadly I don’t.’’ You answered, making Ron scoff as he continued to eat his food. ‘’Enough about Draco,’’ Hermione said as she shut her book close, placing it on the table in front of her. ‘’Who are you planning on taking to the Yule Ball, boys?’’

The Yule Ball was coming up. Everyone was excited about it, especially Ron and Harry, their only chance to interact with a girl. You on the other hand, weren’t too excited. Some boys had already aksed you to the ball, which you had politely declined; in hopes that Draco would ask you. You knew it wasn’t going to happen, but you couldn’t help yourself from hoping that he would surprise you and ask you. ‘’Harry’s definietly taking Cho.’’ Ron said, a small smirk forming on his face. ‘’I haven’t even asked her yet!’’ Harry let out, looking around to make sure no one had heard his friend. You let out a small laugh as your eyes found their way back to Draco once again. He was now busy eating the food that was on the plate in front of him, making small conversation with the people around him.

That was when she sat down next to him. Pansy Parkinson. You knew Draco and the girl had always been friends, you had seen the two of them together before you became friends with Draco. But recently, you noticed that something changed between the two of them. They suddenly seemed very close, constantly hanging around each other. But most importanly, you noticed how Draco would change whenever he was around her. As soon as she entered the room, a smile would form on his lips as he always greeted her with a big hug. He would always act friendly around you, but never the way he acted around her. The smile on your lips slowly faded as he greeted the dark haired girl with a hug, like he always did. Suddenly, he placed his hand on her thigh. He probably thought no one noticed, but from where you were sitting you could see his hand under the table. Your heart dropped as you quickly looked away, not daring to continue looking. ‘’Y/N? Has anyone asked you yet?’’ Hermione asked you, making you look down at your lap. ‘’No,’’ You lied, playing with your fingers. ‘’Really?’’ Ron let out, sounding surprised. ‘’I wouldn’t worry about it too much, I’m sure someone is going to ask you soon.’’ Hermione gave you a comforting smile as you gave her a small smile back. You let out a small hum, picking up your fork.

After that, things changed. You hadn’t spoken to Draco in what felt like days, and it was driving you crazy. Sure, you had feeligns for him and it broke your heart not seeing him, but you were also afraid that you were losing him as your friend. It was unusal for Draco not to speak to you at least once a day, you two had a couple of classes together after all. But lately you hadn’t even seen him  in class, your eyes searching for him in every class; looking for his bright blue eyes. To your disappointment, you never spotted him. ‘’Maybe Cedric will take you to the ball,’’ Ron said as you sat down on the cold grass next to him. ‘’Cedric?’’ You asked, confusion lingering in your voice. After you had told them no one had asked you to the ball a few days back, Ron hadn’t stopped talking about it. ‘’Diggory,’’ He continued, looking the opposite direction. Your eyes followed his, spotting the Hufflepuff sitting a few feet away. You let out a laugh as you shook your head. ‘’What makes you think that?’’ You asked, Hermione sitting down next to you. Ron shrugged as he looked back at you. ‘’Just giving you some options.’’ 

It was a cold day out. You had came outside with Ron and Hermione between one of your classes to take some fresh air, the cold air immediatly hitting your warm face as you stepped outside. You wrapped your coat around your body tighter, a desperete try to warm yourself up as you felt your whole body shiver. You looked around, studying the other students. It seemed like you weren’t the only one who had came out here as the whole courtyard was filled with students. That’s when you spotted him. You eyes immediatly became bigger as you quickly stood up. ‘’I’ll catch up with you guys later,’’ You mumbled, making your friends look at you in confusion. They quickly spotted the blond boy, making Hermione sigh. ‘’Off she goes.’’ She shook her head as she watched you walk off in a hurry.

‘’Draco!’’ You called out, getting closer and closer to him. He quickly turned around, his face slowly turning into a small smile has he spotted you. ‘’There you are,’’ You smiled as you wrapped your arms around the taller boy. He lightly hugged you back, quickly letting his arms fall to his sides. Your smile faded away and was replaced by a frown. You let go of the boy and looked up at him. ‘’Where have you been?’’ You asked, raising your eyebrows. ‘’What do you mean?’’ He asked, placing his hands in his pockets. ‘’I just haven’t seen you in ages,’’ You continued, not taking your eyes off him. He looked around, trying his best to avoid eye contact. ‘’I’ve just been busy.’’ He let out, still avoiding eye contact. ‘’With what exactly?’’ You asked once again, feeling your heart drop as you spoke. He let out a sigh in annoyance before grabbing your arm, walking off with you behind him.

You stumbled after him, confusion plastered all over your face. ‘’Where are we going?’’ You asked as you entered the school once again. The hallways were almost empty, everyone either waiting for the class to begin or hanging out with their friends outside. ‘’We need to talk.’’ He mumbled as he continued walking down the halls. He suddenly stopped walking, letting go off your arm; his cold hand leaving your skin. He turned around so he was facing you once again with a frown on his face. You looked at him, waiting for him to say something. His cheeks were red from the cold, his blue eyes brighter than ever. ‘’You know I’m with Pansy now, right?’’

The words made you feel sick. For a moment, you had no clue what to say. You opened your mouth to speak, but not a single word came out. ‘’Oh,’’ You let out after a short silence, him not taking his eyes of you. You could hear the hurt in your own voice, letting out a cough in order to try cover it up. ‘’Oh!’’ You let out again, this time trying your best to sound as happy as you possibly could. ‘’I’m so glad for you two, I mean, I can see the way she looks at you,’’ You said, forcing a smile; trying to convince him you were telling the truth. ‘’But,’’ you continued, the smile slowly fading. ‘’Is that what you wanted to talk about?’’ You asked. Draco let out a sigh as he ran his fingers through his hair, looking away from your gaze. ‘’That’s why you haven’t seen me around, Y/N.’’ He muttered. You raised your eyebrows, failing to understand what he meant. ‘’Well, I understand if you want to hang around her and stuff, it’s just that I haven’t even seen you in class,’’ You continued, doubt filling your voice. ‘’You don’t understand,’’ He let out in annoyance, interrupting you. ‘’She doesn’t want me to hang around you anymore.’’

It took you a while to procress the words that had just left his mouth. You just couldn’t seem to understand what he meant by his words, leaving you confused. ‘’What?’’ You asked, meeting his gaze. ‘’And if that’s what she wants, that’s what I’m going to do,’’ He continued, not taking his eyes of you. You stared at him for a moment, trying to find the right words. You could tell he was trying to read your face, trying to understand what you were feeling. ‘’Have you been avoiding me?’’ Your voice was low, you could barely hear yourself speak. ‘’I’m sorry Y/N.’’ He mumbled under his breath, almost like he didn’t want you to hear him apologize. You felt the tears starting to well up behind your eyelids.

All this time, he was avoiding you. He wasn’t just missing classes because he was ill or something like that, he had been missing them because you were there. You held back your tears, looking down at the ground as you didn’t want him to see how his words affected you. ‘’So you mean we can’t even be friends?’’ You let out, your voice almost cracking. ‘’I’m afraid we can’t,’’ He spoke. ‘’But we were barely ever friends anyways, so it shouldn’t really matter.’’ He continued. The words made you chuckle, your heart breaking. His voice was so monotone, not a single emotion lingered in his voice. He didn’t even seem upset. ‘’I see,’’ You whispered, still looking down at your shoes. ‘’I’m sorry again, Y/N,’’ He said, fixing his tie as he spoke. ‘’I’ll see you around.’’ And with that being said, he left. He left you standing there, feeling empty. You could hear his shoes hitting the stone floor as he walked off, a tear finally escaping your eye as he could no longer see you. You looked up, watching his figure slowly disapearing as he walked further and further away. Another tear hit your cheek as you closed your eyes. ‘’I should’ve listened to my friends, huh?’’ You whispered to yourself, letting out a small chuckle at the irony of it all. 

All along, you had denyed all the horrible things people had said about him; when in reality, it was all true. You sat down against the wall, letting the tears fall down your cheeks. Maybe he was right, you two were barely even friends. But you couldn’t help but think about the way he had acted around you. He would always act so different around you, throwing his arm around your shoulders or helping you out with the smallest of things. When you had accidently gotten hurt, he was the first to visit you in the hospital wing, even before any of your close friends. You could’ve sworn there was something there, but now, it all just seemed ridiclous. Maybe you just made it all up in your head, maybe you just wanted him to like you back so badly that you started to see things that wasn’t even there. But it didn’t matter, he had broken your heart, badly, without even knowing.

what about us — draco malfoy

pairing:draco malfoy x female!reader

summary: to cast a patronus charm, you must recall the happiest moment of your life. for reader, the memory is something unexpected.

a/n:this is my first time writing in a while so i hope you guys like it !!! highkey inspired by the song “what about us” by p!nk so i recommend listening to the slowed version of that song on repeat. yes the slowed version bc it hits different :d 

When [Y/N] first says the words Expecto Patronum, nothing quite happens.

When she raises her wand, closes her eyes, and blocks everything else out, just like Harry had instructed her when he gingerly put one hand over her own and the other on her waist, guiding her stance—nothing happens.

When she searches through her memories for—what was it Harry had said?—the happiest moment of her life, her wand doesn’t even let out the faintest tendril of white smoke.

When she decides to think of when Harry had first told her that he fancied her, and all of their other moments, of their first kiss under the mistletoe, of how he always rushes to her after winning a Quidditch match with the biggest grin on his face, of his cheeky grins and his lame jokes..

When she thinks of Harry, her boyfriend of one year now—

Nothing happens.

Maybe she isn’t focusing hard enough.

Maybe she needs to think of something a little more profound, like the first time Harry had ever told her he loved her. Shy and hesitant but true, as they sat by the Black Lake, their hands shyly resting an inch or two apart.

Maybe she’s just not cut out for this kind of magic.

”It’s not—“ she huffs out, dropping her wand back at her side, evidently frustrated at herself as she turns to meet Harry’s gaze. “It’s not working.”

Harry gives her a half-amused, half-sympathetic smile. “It’s not going to happen right away,” he tells her, eyes silently surveying the rest of the Room of Requirement, watching as the other members of Dumbledore’s Army flick and jab their wands at the air helplessly, some able to produce tiny bursts of wispy white smoke and others having achieved absolutely no progress at all—just like [Y/N].

Turning his gaze back to [Y/N], Harry suggests sheepishly, “Sure you’ve got a happy enough memory?” His lips quirk up into a toothy grin. “It better not be eating pancakes—you need something far stronger than that.”

[Y/N] rolls her eyes, smiling despite herself. “I realize that, Harry, thanks.” She scrunches her nose at him, and revels in the way his eyes shine with fondness. Grin falling slightly, she looks down at her wand as she twirls it in her hand. “I thought it was a pretty strong memory. I thought of..“

She trails off, letting the rest of her words die down somewhere in her throat.

For some reason, [Y/N] lies. “My seventh birthday,” she continues, wondering if Harry had heard the waver in her voice. And then she wonders why it had wavered in the first place.

Or maybe she already knows why—wouldn’t it be slightly worrying for Harry to know that her memories with him weren’t enough to conjure a Patronus?

“Something stronger, maybe?” Harry suggests, pursing his lips, eyebrows raised. And then he wiggles his brows playfully, playing it off as casual, but [Y/N] hears the slight twinge of hopefulness in his voice when he suggests, “D’you wanna try thinking of your boyfriend, maybe?”

[Y/N] feels something akin to guilt pang at her chest. Despite it, she smiles at Harry—and lies. Again. “Maybe I should,” she says softly, not quite holding his eyes all the way, instead turning away to raise her wand in front of her once more.

Maybe she just needs to try harder. She raises her arm again, taking a deep breath through her nose.

The happiest one you can think of.

[Y/N] closes her eyes. She can feel Harry watching her, ready to sweep her into his arms the moment the wispy white tendrils coming from her wand starts to take even the vaguest of forms.

I can do this.

She blocks everything out: the echoed incantations of “Expecto Patronum” all around her, the delighted shrieks, the awed gasps, and even Harry, until all that she can sense is her and the memory inside her head that she knowsis there—she can feel it. All she has to do is concentrate.

Another deep breath, and she’s closer. And in her mind she sees it as a blinding glimmer of white light, and her fingers are outstretched..

And then it comes.

A memory.

But not of Harry.

The first thing she sees is a flash of platinum blond hair.

And then grey eyes. A mischievous smirk. Pale skin. The sound of laughter.

“Draco!”

She is eight years old, chasing a boy down a garden, watching as he disappears with a loud laugh behind a tall statue of his great great grandfather. [Y/N] can see his elbow poking out. a moment later—his eyes.

Grey. Glimmering with happiness.

“You’ll never catch me!” yells Draco, hopping out from behind the statue. He picks a stick up from the ground and brandishes it towards her, shouting, “Stupideus Maximus!”

[Y/N] feels a flare of challenge rear up inside her. She tries for a threatening scowl, but the grin tugging on her lips can’t be helped. “That’s not even a real spell, you dunderhead!” she yells, looking wildly around her for a stray branch. Once she’s managed to locate one a foot away, she hurriedly grabs it, and much like Draco, holds it aloft like a wand and points it towards him. “Ugleus Draconeus!” she barely gets the words out through her giggles. “Oh, wait, that won’t work, you’re already ugly!”

“Hey!” outraged, Draco drops his makeshift wand. In what seems like a half-second, he’s tackling her to the ground, sending the two of them crashing into the grass, a rolling, laughing mess of tangled limbs and delighted shrieks.

“Geroffme!” [Y/N] yelps, flailing about on the ground. “Your stench is killing me—”

“That’s rich, I know for a fact you haven’t showered in two days—”

“Hey!”

“Ow!”

And then everything is melting away, like paint dripping on canvas, like ice held over a flame, colors condensing into each other, moving up and down, sideways, breaking apart, morphing into something else, and suddenly the sound of childish laughter is replaced by the sound of someone humming, and beyond that, a fire crackling in a hearth.

There is a boy resting his head on her lap. His hair is platinum blond.

She is raking her fingers through his strands almost absentmindedly. Like this is nothing more than habit, this ridiculously comfortable dynamic; [Y/N] humming under her breath, Draco with his eyes half-closed, her playing with his hair, the rest of the Slytherins far too used to the sight to question why there’s a Gryffindor sitting in their common room.

The tune she’s humming is a familiar one. It doesn’t belong to a song; just a random bunch of notes, over and over again, the same one they have hummed to each other over the years.

She pauses to ask: “Are you staying here for Christmas?”

Draco makes a sound in the back of his throat. “I don’t know.” He shifts slightly, eyes still mostly closed. “Are you?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Bloody great. I’m going to have to put up with you singing carols all week at the manor again.” But [Y/N] sees the smile on the corners of his lips. He’s pleased.

Her hand remains carding gently through Draco’s hair. Like she’s already calming him down, even before she’s broken the news to him.

“Actually..” she begins softly, looking down at him, waiting for his eyes to blink open with disbelief. “The Weasleys..”

She feels him go just the slightest bit rigid, but she keeps going, huffing slightly at the shift in Draco’s mood. She’d been expecting this, but that doesn’t mean she has to like it. “They’ve asked me to spend Christmas with them,” she says quietly, hating the guilt that pinches at her. She has to remind herself, momentarily, that she has nothing to feel guilty about.

Draco keeps his eyes closed. [Y/N] sees the tight set of his lips.

“And you said yes,” he doesn’t phrase it like a question.

Another pinch of guilt. She hates this one even more. “I did.”

Her hand has stopped carding through his hair. Draco shifts on where he’s laying on the couch, and for a moment [Y/N] thinks he’s going to get up and leave.

But instead he nods and stays, and for some reason that is even worse.

“Okay.”

[Y/N]  lets out a sigh. “I know you don’t like them, but—”

“Will Potter be there?”

She closes her eyes briefly. When she opens them again, Draco’s are open, too, but he is staring into the fireplace. “Does it matter?”

[Y/N] reads the answer in his tense jaw, in his stiff shoulders, in his eyes:

Yes.

But Draco is proud, and he would never admit it: that he feels like Harry is stealing her from him again, the same way he’s been doing for the past few years. He remembers all their cancelled Hogsmeade trips this year so that she could go with Harry and the Weasleys instead. All the times she told him she was busy, that she had somewhere else to be, somewhere with Harry.

Always with Harry, ever since she’d been sorted into Gryffindor. Draco knows both he and [Y/N] have been trying to keep whatever they have between each other alive, but it doesn’t help that she’s in a different house. All she has left with him are these moments: sneaking into the Slytherin common room so they can spend a few hours together, only to exchange the briefest of “hi"s the next day.

Draco can’t tell her how disappointed he feels. He’s far too proud for that. So instead he says, "No. It doesn’t,” even though both of them know otherwise.

[Y/N] grimaces, ignoring the twang in her chest as she moves her hand to poke his cheek. “You sure?”

She thinks Draco could have smiled. It certainly looked like he was close to it, despite everything.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?” Another tentative poke.

Draco bites his lip like he’s trying to stay serious, but he ends up laughing anyway. Smiling in an almost resigned way, he rolls his eyes, reaching up to grab her wrist and pry her finger away from his cheek. “Yes, woman. I said yes.”

[Y/N]  grins, at ease now that she knows the tension has faded. “You sure?”

“Bloody—”

She knows as soon as Draco starts to sit up that he plans on tickling her, so she shoves him off instantly and makes a break for a random door in the corner of the common room.

Which, as it turns out, is the seventh year boys’ dorm.

When she dashes back out, blushing furiously, Draco is clutching his stomach in the spot where she’d left him, tears of laughter leaking out of his eyes.

[Y/N] blinks, and she is in the Malfoy manor.

She is rushing up the marble steps with her hand clutched in Draco’s. He’s tugging her along, through familiar hallways, through a familiar doorway, and stopping in front of a familiar window.

“I haven’t been up here in ages,” Draco says, sounding almost exhilarated. He’s rolling up his dress shirt sleeves, reaching up to unlock the window and let through a cold breeze.

[Y/N]  smirks. “Too scared to go up without me?”

Draco makes a face at her.

They can still hear the party downstairs; the orchestra and its repetitive clash of instruments, the clinking of wine glasses, rich pureblooded families talking over one another, fake laughter, her parents complimenting Draco’s for hosting such a fabulous party..

Draco and [Y/N] have always hated these parties, and they still do. And so now here they are—away from everything and everyone else but each other, because they can’t seem to stand anyone else.

[Y/N]  pulls off her heels, setting them on the floor for when she and Draco come back later. With practiced movements, she hoists herself up onto the windowsill, barely even registering the feeling of Draco’s hands on her waist as he guides her out of the window.

“You alright?”

Gripping the frame of the window for support, she steps into the cold night air.

“Yeah,” she exhales.

She knows her way up now, so there’s not as much panicking as there was the first time she and Draco had pulled this stunt. Instead, she hoists herself up to the roof with little to no hassle, Draco behind her all the way. What feels like mere moments later the two of them are seated next to each other on the edge of the roof, nothing but the vast expanse of sky above them.

It may be summer, but the night is still cold and brings with it a bitingly cold breeze. A few seconds is all it takes for [Y/N]  to start regretting not having brought a coat up with her.

“Blimey, I’ve missed this,” Draco is saying, looking down at the grounds below them. It’s dark and they can’t see much, but that makes the sight all the more magical. The garden is dimly lit by floating orbs, which waft around like faeries, casting an ethereal glow over the tall hedges. “I’ve been here a couple times, but it’s a lot lonelier when I’m just by myself, you know?”

“Really?” [Y/N] glances over at him, grinning despite the cold. She rubs her palms over her arms. “You mope here by yourself, Draco Malfoy?”

Draco rolls his eyes. “It’s a nice place to think. Are you cold?”

“Nice to know my purposely exaggerated shivering has finally caught your attention.”

He throws his head back in a laugh. “If you wanted my jacket, you could have just said.”

[Y/N] flicks her eyebrows up at him. “And give up my pride?”

“Pride or hypothermia? Up to you.” Draco has shrugged off his suit jacket, but he’s holding it out in front of her, lips quirked into a teasing smirk.

“Oh, give me that,” [Y/N] mutters, snatching it off his hands to drape it across her shoulders. Grinning, Draco leans over to help her fit it over her form. “Thanks. I suppose chivalry might not be dead, after all.”

“It’ll be alive as long as I am.” Draco settles back down next to her, propping his elbows on his raised knees.

An amused scoff. [Y/N] jabs him on the side.

They fall quiet after that, until all that is left between them is silence—except it doesn’t feel quite as comfortable as it should.

That, [Y/N] supposes, is what happens when you leave too many things unsaid.

But it’s not like she has a choice, because what would Draco say if she lets loose everything that she has been holding back, knowing that he won’t take kindly to them?

What would Draco say if she tells him about how, after four years, she doesn’t regret being sorted into Gryffindor anymore?

What would he say if she tells him about how the “blood-traitor” Weasleys make her happy in a way that her own family has never done?

What would he say if she tells him that she is happy, even if they’re no longer spending as much time together as they used to?

What would Draco say if she tells him that Harry confessed to fancying her?

”Why are you looking at me like that?”

[Y/N]  blinks herself out of her reverie. She’d been staring at Draco.

She only realizes this now, and swallows, shaking her head. “Nothing.”

Draco fixes her with his gaze, something unreadable dancing just behind his eyes. [Y/N], who had been busying herself with the lapels of his suit jacket, glances at him out of the corner of her eye.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she mutters.

”Like what?”

“Like you want to kiss me or something, I don’t bloody know. It’s weird.“

Draco lets out a quick breath of laughter, but it only takes a second or two before it’s replaced by that same sort of taut silence, where the only sound between them is that of tree leaves rustling in the distance and the music from the hall below.

And then—“Would it really be that weird?”

[Y/N] waits for a lone, floating orb to disappear behind a garden hedge before she turns her head to look at Draco. “Would what be weird?” It’s dark and she can’t quite see him properly, only the side of his face that’s illuminated by the faintest traces of moonlight. She can make out his eyes, though, but they are as unreadable as ever.

Draco shifts on where he sits. His eyes move down and away from hers, almost hesitant, and then back up. [Y/N] blinks at him, waiting, oddly feeling like she’s edging closer and closer to the edge of a cliff with no idea what’s waiting for her down below.

When he speaks again, his voice is quiet. “If I kissed you.”

[Y/N] wonders how she may have looked at that moment. Her eyes would have widened by just the tiniest bit, lips falling open slightly in mild surprise.

Something about her expression must have jarred Draco, because he lets out another one of his quick laughs—more of a ragged exhale than a laugh, really—and shakes his head, quickly looking away. “Of course it would be weird,” he breathes out. “Forget I said that.”

Around Draco, she usually always knows what to say. Conversation with him flows easily, words bouncing back and forth without a hitch in their seemingly effortless rhythm. It’s been that way for as long as she can remember. But now [Y/N] finds herself struggling, mouth open but unable to say anything at all. All she can do is stare, watching as the forced smile on Draco’s face fades and his fingers curl in on themselves.

“I mean..” She mulls the question over and over in her head, but there is only one answer that she can think of.

[Y/N] lets out a huff-like breath through her nose. “Not really.”

Draco freezes.

If it were daytime, he would see the suddenly pink hue of her cheeks, but the midnight sky saves her from the humiliation.

She swallows, ignoring the almost constricting sensation in her chest that feels like several hundred butterflies have come to life and are now fluttering around inside of her ribcage. “We’ve done weirder things together, haven’t we?” she mutters, face turned to him but not able to look at him straight in the eye, either. “Like that one time we danced the hokey pokey with one of your house-elves when we were—what, like, six? And that other time w—”

Draco moves, an infinitesimal shift, and suddenly his lips are pressed against hers, and [Y/N] feels her limbs seize up with surprise. She can feel him, taste him, the soft swell of his mouth and the faint hint of dessert left behind on his lips. And then, along with it, something warm flaring up inside of her chest, leaving her leaning in, relaxing into him, wanting more and more and more, as much of him as she could possibly get.

The strength and suddenness of her desire is what startles her back to herself. She flinches and pulls back, eyes blinking open. Draco’s face is mere inches away from hers. She has a split-second, only a split-second, to see his face framed in the moonlight: his tousled blond hair and the swell of his lips, which are still half-forming a kiss.

Draco recoils, looking just as surprised at his own actions as [Y/N] is. “I—” he begins, the very same moment [Y/N] opens her mouth and tries to say, “Do—”

They pause. Stare at each other, as though properly drinking the events of the past few seconds in.

[Y/N] isn’t sure which one of them starts laughing first, but before she knows it their shoulders are shaking, lips breaking out into wide grins, their laughter filling the night air, echoing across the garden. It isn’t hysterical laughter—not the kind two people share after a particularly funny joke—instead it’s the kind of quiet, exhilarated laughter that comes after doing something particularly daring, the kind that sounds like I cannot believe I just did that.

The good kind.

The happiest moments of [Y/N]’s life.

At the end of her wand bursts the blinding, dazzling figure of a silvery-white animal. A magnificent eagle, soaring over the heads of the members of Dumbledore’s Army, its wings spread wide in free flight as it glides elegantly around the Room of Requirement.

Harry has swept her into his arms, grinning. He’s saying something—words of praise; “You did it, I knew you could do it"—and [Y/N] is smiling back, nodding, but there is an ache in her chest that wasn’t there before, and memories lingering in her head that she thought she’d set aside for the better. But now that they’ve been let back loose, it seems there is no getting rid of them.

Of platinum blond hair and grey eyes and laughter on quiet rooftops. Of stolen kisses amidst parties that neither of them enjoy. Of Draco Malfoy, a boy she once adored.

There are tears in her eyes, she realizes, but she plays them off as tears of happiness even though they are anything but. Harry laughs at her apparent mawkishness.

[Y/N] is quiet during dinner that night. She can’t bring herself to eat much, nor to join in on the conversation at the Gryffindor table. Harry has caught on to her change in mood, and he keeps squeezing her hand underneath the table to make sure she’s okay, but [Y/N] can’t offer him much beyond a halfhearted smile of reassurance.

She can’t stop thinking about earlier. About how her memories with Harry weren’t happy enough, whereas Draco’s..

[Y/N] hates to admit it, but she isn’t as surprised at this as she should be. Part of her, she realizes, has always known that Draco brought her a kind of happiness nothing and no one ever could.

Not even her bloody boyfriend.

But there’s a reason why she and Draco have been distant this year. His hatred for her friends, his jealousy for Harry, his refusal to understand that they’re good people, Draco, why should blood status matter?

There’s a reason why their first kiss had been their last.

There’s a reason why [Y/N] chose Harry over him.

She senses someone’s gaze on her, but she knows who it belongs to even before she looks up.

When she raises her head, their eyes meet from all the way across the Great Hall, reaching across the hundreds of students between them, across the distance that feels so much larger than it really is.

There was a reason, Draco, [Y/N] thinks.

His grey eyes are unreadable. She wonders if he can see the silent apology in her own.

There was a reason.

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pairing:draco malfoy x female!reader

summary: reader has secrets of her own. a party at the malfoy manor reveals them.

a/n: i had to rewrite this bc im dumb n my first draft didn’t save which was Very upsetting but anyways i hope you like it :“) 

“Well, don’t you look dashing.”

Draco’s eyes snap up in the mirror.

[Y/N] is standing in his doorway, having somehow opened the door without him noticing. She has one shoulder leaning on the doorframe, arms folded over her chest, eyebrows raised. There is a glint in her eye that Draco knows all too well; that of playfulness, of fondness. One he has long since associated with safety.

He breathes out a short laugh. “How long have you been standing there?” Draco asks, ringed fingers deftly resuming to work on his tie, but he isn’t having much success. He feels far too jittery, and as a result he keeps accidentally knotting it, only to unwind the silk and try again, over and over like some messed up routine.

Watching her through the mirror’s reflection, he sees [Y/N] step into the room. She’s wearing a plain black dress; lace sleeves, collarbones in display, the silver necklace he’d given her hanging around her neck.

“Long enough to find out that you’re a grown seventeen year old who doesn’t know how to tie his own tie.”

Draco still has it in him to roll his eyes, to let out a short-lived laugh. “I do,” he mutters, yanking a little at the fabric in frustration. “It’s just..”

[Y/N] swiftly pads across his room to join him at the dresser, a tiny grin playing across her lips. Standing in front of him, she gently knocks his hands away so as to work on his tie herself.

“Nerves?” she says quietly. The grin on her lips falls slightly as she fixes her gaze on his tie, hands quickly working to loop the loose ends together.

Draco inhales sharply. His palms are clammy, his heart is beating too fast inside of his chest—to say that he’s dealing with nerves would be an understatement.

”You could say that,” he decides, curling and uncurling his fists at his sides. When she looks up to meet his gaze, he tries for a weak smile, if only to quell the storm inside his heart.

”It’ll be fine,” [Y/N] tells him with a pursed smile. She’s done tying his tie. Her hands move to rest on his shoulders, which are covered with his suit jacket. His mother had insisted he wear it, just as her own mother had no doubt insisted [Y/N] wear her dress; it is somewhat of a special occasion, after all, although what they are celebrating is hardly something that neither draco nor [Y/N] feel too ecstatic about it.

”There’ll be drinks,” continues [Y/N] with a lilting tone, thumbs smoothing over the creases of his suit. “And..”

She trails off. There isn’t really much to say.

”Dancing?” Draco suggests half-heartedly.

There is one brief second in which their eyes meet, and both of their lips are already beginning to quirk up at the corners, and then the next they are both breaking out into laughter. And it’s not the kind that hurts your stomach or has you pounding your fists on the ground, but it’s laughter nonetheless—a little rigid, a little heavy-hearted, but it’s just as relieving.

[Y/N]’s shoulders wrack with subtle giggles. “Yeah,” she agrees, nodding. “And I suspect Greyback will be giving a motivational speech.”

Draco feels his lips tug up into a crooked grin. “Hear my aunt might skip out on the party. She’s got knitting to do, you see.”

Both of them let themselves paint a picture inside their head: the infamous, untamed Bellatrix, sitting in a quiet corner with a quilt in her lap, humming a little tune to herself.

[Y/N] throws her head back in a loud laugh, and this time it’s not quite as tense. Draco watches her, laughing quietly on his own, and suddenly his heart doesn’t feel quite so heavy anymore.

He watches as the last of her giggles dissipate, and she is smiling down at her shoes again, and then back up at him.

“We’ll be okay,” she tells him softly, once more reaching out, but not to tie his tie or to smoothen out the creased fabric of his suit, but to card her fingers through his hair the way she knows relaxes him.

Staring down at her—holding her gaze, which is warm and comforting and reminiscent of simpler times, like when she would sneak into his bed at Hogwarts and they would whisper and laugh quietly into the night, taking care not to wake up any of his roommates—Draco allows himself to breathe. To feel like himself again; a boy in love and nothing more.

”Yeah,” he says, closing his eyes, leaning forward to lean his forehead on hers. “Yeah, we will.”

—

Gatherings at the Malfoy Manor were usually a grand event; peacocks would mill about the lawn, some wandering past the large castle doors and into the drawing room, where the guests would stroke their feathers in admiration with one hand and hold a glass of the finest mulled wine in the other as they spoke among themselves, laughing and boasting offhandedly about the ancient living room set they’d imported from France or their children’s future careers. Sometimes one would have enough courage to bring up the notion of arranged marriages, only for Narcissa Malfoy to turn them down and say that Draco would choose for himself when the time came, veering the conversation away towards things like ministry connections.

Parties happened often back then—not as much to celebrate as to fill up the overly large halls of the manor with pointless chatter—but things have changed. It’s been a while since the Malfoys last opened their doors to guests.

Does this count as a party? Draco wonders to himself, watching Death Eaters filter into the drawing room, some wearing sickening grins and others looking dead inside.

There are no more wandering peacocks. No more music, no more friendly guests eager to wed their children into the Malfoy family. There are only murderers. Death Eaters. There is laughter, but the kind that has Draco feeling uneasy.

Things have changed. Draco wonders if it’s for the better.

He knows he and [Y/N] can’t hide here forever—at the edge of the shadowed banister overlooking the entrance hall—but they stay there for as long as they can, until his grim-looking mother comes up the staircase and beckons for them to join the party.

Party. Ha.

So Draco and [Y/N] trail after Narcissa, who leads them into the drawing room, where most of the Death Eaters have gathered. No peacocks, no music, but there iswine, and almost everyone is clutching a glass of it.

He feels [Y/N]’s fingers graze against his. Looking over at her, she sees him staring placidly in front of her, meeting no one’s gaze, but she seems to feel his eyes on her—so she turns her head to the side, and Draco sees her facade slip away for the smallest of split seconds as the look on her face softens and she gives him this small, reassuring smile.

He can almost hear her voice inside his head: we’ll be okay.

Draco swallows. Nods just a fraction of an inch.

People clap him on the back as he passes, congratulating him and [Y/N] for a job well done at fixing the Vanishing Cabinet. Draco nods mutely and lets [Y/N] do the talking—she has always been better at keeping her composure, masking her true thoughts.

"Could never have imagined it,” cackles Alecto Carrow, marching up to them in the middle of the large room. Her cheeks are already tinged pink with intoxication, voice a higher pitch than usual. “Most I expected from you lot was.. well, nothing, really. Doubted you could even fix a dresser, much less a whole bloody cabinet!” she shrieks with laughter, some of the wine from her glass spilling onto the floor.

[Y/N]’s gaze is stony. “Thank you.”

Alecto’s nose wrinkles, her chortles dying down. “Thank you?” she repeats. “S'that all you have to say?”

For a brief, horrifying moment, Draco almost thinks [Y/N] is going to bite back with a sarcastic remark—but things have changed and there is a mark on her arm now, so instead she says, flatly, “It wasn’t an easy feat.” A slight pause. “We’re just as surprised as you.”

Alecto grins. She seems satisfied. “Well, ‘course it wasn’t an easy feat, or at least for you.” She takes a big swig out of her glass. “Could’ve done it myself in ten minutes, isn’t that right, Amycus?”

Her brother Amycus snickers but doesn’t reply. Draco knows it’s because he doubts Alecto’s claims just as much as they do; she doesn’t seem capable of writing even a bloody paragraph on her own.

“Well,” says [Y/N]. “We appreciate your.. praise.”

Draco almost snorts. It’s uncharacteristic of her to be so formal, and most of all to take the high road when being insulted. He knows that if things were different, if their lives weren’t on the line, she wouldn’t be standing here at Draco’s side—no, her wand would be at Alecto’s throat.

But that little bit of humor quickly fades when Draco finds Amycus staring at [Y/N], uncouth eyes roaming from her lips to her exposed collarbones, the skin hiding just underneath the lace of her sleeves, the dress hugging her figure—

Draco feels anger flare up, hot and heavy inside of his chest. Unconsciously, he finds himself stepping forward, urged on by that unpleasant feeling worming its way into his stomach, curling his hands into fists, tinging the tips of his ears red as his fingers edge closer to the wand inside his pocket.

¨What are you looking at, boy?¨ Amycus sneers, meeting his gaze.

Draco thinks, at that moment, that magic would hardly be fit to put this ugly brute of a man in his place—no, he´d much rather use his fists, pummel them into that crooked nose of his until he kneels at [Y/N]’s feet and begs for her forgiveness, because no one should look at her like that—

[Y/N] is whispering something, but he can´t hear it through the blood rushing in his ears.

But all of a sudden, Amycus’s gaze changes. He is no longer looking at Draco; rather, at something over his shoulder, and then he is bowing his head, eyes downcast.

All it takes Draco is a brief glance behind him to realize why.

He hears [Y/N] now: he’s here. He’s here.

An odd hush has fallen over the large room. The cause is easy to pinpoint; the Dark Lord has appeared at the entrance of the large drawing room, bringing with him a familiar sense of foreboding as everyone’s breath seems to hitch. It’s funny, in a sick way, how easily the atmosphere has shifted from something like ease to suffocating tension. How Alecto, who had been cackling into her glass of wine just moments before, now looks like a dog called to heel. How Amycus has torn his hungry gaze away from [Y/N] to instead stare down obediently at his feet. How Draco’s own parents, who stand a few feet away from the Dark Lord at the entrance, have their lips pursed and their hands clasped in front of them in submission.

Draco would laugh, but he is one of them now, and his head is hung just like the rest of them.

¨My, my,¨ says the Dark Lord, tone soft. ¨What a lovely party.¨

It had been he, the Dark Lord, who had suggested the idea of a celebration to revere in Draco´s and [Y/N]´s success. Not out of fondness, of course, but out of sheer spite for the Malfoys, caused by Lucius’s failure at the Department of Mysteries. This party was just another part of his little mind games; not only had he forced their son, Draco, to let Death Eaters loose inside Hogwarts, but he was now forcing them to celebrateit.

But why is he here?

It had been he who proposed the party, but no one had expected the Dark Lord to actually come. He had other things of actual importance to attend to: things that involved torture and kidnap and blackmail. He was on the brink of taking over the Ministry of Magic, and thus was a busy man—the Dark Lord only goes where he is needed, and not to pointless parties.

Draco swallows.

So why is he here?

¨It is only right, of course,¨ Voldemort continues, his voice still so oddly soft, like he´s addressing children, ¨That we celebrate the success of our young Death Eaters. The task I gave them was not an easy one, I’m afraid, and yet they prevailed, in the end, and proved themselves to us.¨

He wonders if Voldemort has spotted him and [Y/N], and feels bile rise at the back of his throat. Draco doesn´t want him anywhere near her.

Just leave, Draco thinks to himself, his teeth gritted so tight he hears how they scrape inside his skull. Just leave.

“I must admit, a few months ago I had my doubts.. but now here we are, applauding them, congratulating them for a job well done, treating them as one of our own.. welcomingthem.”

“Draco.”

[Y/N] has inched closer to him. A moment later she feels her fingers weaving through his, squeezing his palm so tight Draco knows without having to look that her knuckles have turned a ghostly white.

He squeezes back, thinking that she might just be as surprised as him. Just as nervous.

It’ll be okay, he tries to tell her without saying it out loud. He´s too scared to speak. It’ll be okay.

¨And yet even as we toast to their names..¨

Draco keeps his head down. He can hear the sound of Voldemort´s robes rasping against the floor as he moves about the room.

But that is not the only thing he hears. Cold sweat trickles down the side of his temple, because in the Dark Lord’s voice he hears an edge. He senses danger.

A thought bounces around Draco’s skull as he fixes his gaze intently on his shoes: why is he here?

“Even as we welcome them with open arms.. as we let them walk among us unharmed, revered, almost, for their bravery..¨

¨Draco,¨ [Y/N] repeats, a little louder this time but only for his ears, and if the room wasn´t so quiet he wouldn´t have heard her ragged, almost panicked breathing, but it wasand he did. 

He senses uneasy movement from behind him. One of the other Death Eaters.

¨Despite our kindness, one of them dares to turn away from us. One of them dares—¨ The Dark Lord´s voice grows colder, angrier, losing control and then all of a sudden softening again after a pregnant pause; ¨One of them dared.. dares to feed information to the fools that call themselves the Order of the Phoenix.¨

Draco hears the collective murmur of surprise that ripples through the room.

“Draco.” [Y/N]’s grip on his hand, if possible, tightens.

¨One of them dares betray us.¨

There is a brief moment of confusion on Draco´s part. He turns his head to look at [Y/N], brows furrowed as he struggles to make sense of the Dark Lord´s words.

But then Draco meets her eyes. Sees the look on her face.

¨I´m sorry,¨ she whispers, and realization hits him like a burst of icy cold water.

¨Seize her,¨ Voldemort says coldly. When Draco looks up, he sees that he is halfway across the room but his gaze is fixed on them—on [Y/N].

Amycus and Alecto are the first to move. They drop their glasses with no hesitation, sending them to the floor where they break into a hundred tiny pieces, and grab [Y/N] by the arms. She resists, wrestling in their arms, but the string of words that leave her mouth aren´t curses, nor are they pleas to let her go; no, they are apologies, repeated over and over again like a mantra as she desperately holds Draco´s gaze—”I’m sorry, Draco. I’m sorry.”

He watches as they yank [Y/N] across the floor, towards the Dark Lord, away from him. His lungs have stopped working, his heart is pounding wildly somewhere inside his throat, and [Y/N] is being roughly thrown at the Dark Lord´s feet—

Draco can´t breathe. His mind is buzzing, blanking out to a field of white, noise and heat colliding and melting until he can´t think through the blood rushing in his ears.

“Pity,” the Dark Lord whispers, gripping her chin harshly, jerking it up so that she would look at him. 

“I thought you’d proved yourself to be worthy of my praise, but instead it seems you’ve proved yourself to be rather the opposite—“

She snaps her head away. “Fuck you.”

“You, my child, have proved yourself to be a fool.”

“You´re never going to win.”

The Dark Lord seems unfazed. A grin splits wide on his face, stretching his lips into an uncannily amused grin as he stares down at the girl at his feet for a few seconds before nodding—and then turning around, twirling his wand in his hands—when had he pulled it out?

“And now, my brothers and sisters.”

Draco doesn’t feel his feet move underneath him, but they do.

“Lo and behold what happens to ungrateful fools who turn us away believing that they are saving the world, when in fact they are ruining themselves.”

Everything happens so quickly that Draco barely has any time to react; Voldemort raises his wand, and it seems to almost shine in the light as he points it directly towards [Y/N]—the Dark Lord´s mouth opens, the spell resting on the tip of his tongue, [Y/N] at the opposite end of his wand—

“No!”

It’s as though something inside of Draco has snapped, like he is being jarred awake. He doesn´t think—just darts forward with no real goal in mind other than to put himself in between Voldemort and [Y/N], but then there are hands grabbing at his arms, holding him back—

“Let go of me!” his tone is feral. He jabs his elbow into someone´s stomach, trying desperately to wrestle himself free, but the more Death Eaters he rips off of him, the more take their place. “[Y/N]!” he is breathless. “[Y/N]—”

The Dark Lord is going to kill her. He´s going to bloody killher.

“Draco,” he hears his mother´s voice but doesn’t see her—he´s too busy thrashing wildly in the arms of whoever has hold of him, yelling out profanities and curses and [Y/N]´s name; “Draco, come. You don´t want to see this.”

“Letfuckinggo of me!”

But then the Dark Lord´s voice cuts through the havoc—¨Let him stay.¨

“[Y/N]!” Draco shouts, gritting his teeth. There are tears in his eyes; he doesn´t realize they´re there until they´ve fallen and he tastes them on his tongue. “Don´t touch her! Don´t fucking touch her!”

But the Dark Lord is, once again, unfazed. He turns his gaze to Draco but doesn´t lower his wand. “Watch, my child,” he says, voice ringing throughout the room, cold and unforgiving. “And pay close attention. This is what happens to cowards. To fools. To ungrateful scum.”

[Y/N]´s back is turned to Draco, and maybe it is better that way, because when the Dark Lord raises his wand, he doesn´t have to see the light leave her eyes.

Draco feels the entire world slow down. A single thought appears inside the ruined mess that is his mind, almost as if it’s mocking him—[Y/N] has always been better at masking her true thoughts. At hiding things; even from him. 

We’ll be okay, [Y/N] had told him.

She had lied.

¨Avada Kedavra!¨

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