pairing: draco malfoy x reader word count:2,2k request: Could you write a imagine with Draco based on the song be my mistake - the 1975? I love your writing btw! summary: to draco, you were nothing but a mistake. a/n: i ABSOLUTELY love this request and song . as i’m in a very very similar situation, this was fairly easy to write. i did get a little emotional writing this ,,, so i hope u guys enjoy :’) <3 warnings: cheating, slight smut, mention of smut
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You could stare into his eyes forever. Something about him got you mesmerized, the way his ice blue eyes would sparkle whenever he did something he enjoyed, and the way his lanky finger would play with his silver rings that fit his fingers so perfectly; he never failed to make you weak at the knees. Your fingers intertwined perfectly with his and it was almost like your hands were made to run through his blond hair. You and Draco Malfoy had known each other for years now, and you two had been fooling around for as long as you could remember. It all started off innocently, just seeing each other to enjoy each other’s company. But Draco, later on, became your first everything. Your first kiss, the one who took your virginity, and most importantly; your first love.
You and Draco never really established what your relationship was. As you two grew older, you would start seeing each other purely because of the sex and nothing else. Except, to you, it meant everything. You had fallen head over heels with the taller boy, thinking about him every night and day; wanting to spend every single second with him. But you could tell Draco didn’t feel the same way towards you. The only time you saw him, besides class, was late at night when he would ask you to meet him outside of your common room. You knew it was nothing but him wanting to have sex, but it didn’t matter to you. As long as you got to spend time with him, you were happy.
Even though you knew he wasn’t in love with you like you were with him, your heart broke when he got a girlfriend. He met her at the end of the sixth year, and you were now approaching the end of your seventh year. You expected your relationship with Draco to end when he met her, but to your surprise, it didn’t. Even after the two of them got together, he would still come knocking at your dorm room, falling asleep next to you almost every night. He said it was because she just didn’t pleasure him the way you did, and even though you knew it was wrong, you couldn’t help it.
‘’I’m just going to use the restroom,’’ You shouted to your friend, placing the glass you were holding in your hand on the table in front of you. As you were soon graduating from Hogwarts, a couple of Slytherins had decided to throw a party to celebrate. Of course, you had decided to go, bringing your friend with you, in hopes that you would see him. To your disappointment, you hadn’t seen him for the whole night. You had been there for a couple of hours now and you were slowly getting bored of the party; your only intention being to see him. You quickly stood up, feeling a little dizzy from all the drinks, making your way through the crowd.
You let out a sigh as you entered the empty room, the music slowly fading away as you got further and further away. You looked at yourself in one of the mirrors, touching up your hair using your hands. As you looked down at your bag you were now holding in your hands, searching for a brush, you heard someone enter the room. Suddenly, you felt a pair of lanky arms wrap around your waist; making you jump. ‘’Hello there,’’ Someone whispered into your ear, nuzzling their face into your shoulder. You quickly looked up at the mirror in front of you again, your whole body relaxing when you realized who it was. ‘’Hello there Draco,’’ You chuckled, your stomach immediately being filled with butterflies as you spotted his blond hair. ‘’You look absolutely stunning tonight Y/N,’’ He mumbled as he pressed a sloppy kiss against your neck, making you slightly tilt your head as you watched him in the mirror. His hands slowly made his way from your waist to your hips, stroking your body using his hands. ‘’I love this dress on you.’’ He mumbled again, pressing another sloppy kiss at the crook of your neck.
Truth was, you had only chosen that specific dress to get a reaction out of him. You smiled as a small blush spread across your cheeks, knowing your plan had worked. You could tell he was drunk, his words being slightly slurred and his hands getting closer to your breasts. His big hands slowly grabbed them, massaging them lightly as he continued to kiss down your neck. You let out a gasp as you turned around, playfully pushing him off you. ‘’Draco!’’ You let out, him stumbling back as he tried to regain his balance. ‘’I’m sorry, you just look too good,’’ He let out, throwing his hand into the air in defense. You let out a laugh as he got closer to you again, a small smile plastered on his lips. He slowly put his hands on your waist again, pulling you closer. You looked up at him as you placed your hands on his chest. ‘’What if someone sees us?’’ You whispered, his eyes scanning your body.
‘’Don’t worry,’’ He mumbled as he leaned down to press a kiss on your neck, your hands leaving his chest as you wrapped them around his neck. ‘’She’s already left.’’ The words made your heart drop, you had completely forgotten about her for a split moment. His touch made you forget the world around you, slipping into your own world. He looked up at you, his eyes glossy as he looked down at your lips. You looked up at him, pulling down using your hands. He pressed his lips against yours, you could taste the alcohol on them but you didn’t mind. You felt one of his hands traveling down your back, grabbing your ass. You let out a small moan as he smirked into the kiss. ‘’How about we leave?’’ He whispered, making you nod as he smacked your ass, making you gasp once again.
Since everyone was too busy partying, no one noticed you and Draco sneaking into his dorm. As soon as he closed the door, his lips were attached to yours once again. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss, placing one hand on your waist and using the other one to lock the door behind you. He pressed you against the door, you could feel the bulge in his pants growing as he pressed himself against you. You loved the effect you had on him, knowing no one else could do this to him; not even his own girlfriend. ‘’You really thought you could get away with wearing that, huh?’’ Draco mumbled into the kiss, making you slightly moan as one of your hands found their way to his hair, slightly pulling at it. He pulled away, inhaling as the kiss left both of you gasping for air. You looked at him for a second before smashing your lips against his once again. This time, it was rougher.
His hands pulled at the material of your dress, desperately trying to pull you closer to him. ‘’This dress needs to come off, now,’’ He grunted as he broke the kiss. His hands slowly made their way towards the back of your dress, playing with the zipper. But before he got the chance to pull the zipper down, you grabbed his hands. ‘’Draco, you’re drunk,’’ You mumbled, making him take his eyes off your body as his eyes met yours instead. ‘’C’mon Y/N, I need you so bad,’’ He groaned as his lips found their way back to your neck. You chuckled as you grabbed his cheeks, pulling him back up so he was once again facing you. ‘’As much as I want that, it’s not right,’’ You said with a small smile on your lips.
He looked down at you, furrowing his eyebrows. ‘’Why not? You know how good I could please you,’’ He continued, snatching his head away from your grip; his lips once again meeting your neck. This time, he was slightly sucking on the sensitive skin. As much as you wanted him to continue, you just couldn’t let it happen. ‘’Draco,’’ You let out in a stern voice, once again pulling him away from you. He looked down at you in confusion, licking his lips. ‘’It’s not fair. Not to her,’’ You mumbled. As soon as the words left your lips, Draco let out a groan in annoyance, taking his hands off your waist as he shook his head. ‘’How many times do I have to tell you? She won’t know!’’ He let out, making you regret your words. ‘’But it’s still not right,’’ You whispered, looking away from the taller boy; too scared to maintain eye contact. You could hear him sigh as he walked past you, making you turn around.
There was a long silence. You watched him place his hands over his eyes as he sat down on his bed, rubbing them. ‘’You love her, don’t you?’’ You blurted out. He looked up at you, confusion plastered on his face. ‘’Of course I do.’’ He answered, not taking his eyes off you. ‘’What is this then?’’ You asked, your voice starting to tremble as you spoke. He let out another sigh in annoyance, you could tell he was getting angrier. ‘’Look,’’ He muttered as he slowly stood up once again. ‘’You make me hard,’’ He chuckled as he slowly got closer to you. You watched him carefully. ‘’But she makes me weak.’’
The words stabbed you in the heart. You felt like the world came crashing down as the words left his lips, causing you to take a deep breath. You slowly shook your head, looking down at your feet. ‘’I think this was a mistake,’’ You mumbled, trying your best to hold the tears that were now burning behind your eyelids. ‘’Don’t be silly, Y/N,’’ Draco groaned, placing one of his hands on your cheek. You quickly snatched his hand away, looking back up at him. He stared at you for a moment, his expression empty; taken aback. ‘’Then be my mistake.’’ He let out after a short silence. The whole situation was so ironic, making you chuckle as you shook your head. ‘’No.’’ You said shortly, the tears threatening to fall down your cheek any second. ‘’I shouldn’t have asked you to come.’’ He muttered as he shook his head, turning around once again as he walked towards his bed. You watched him as he took his shirt off, throwing it across the room before he got into bed; pulling the sheets over his lanky body. You watched him turn around, quickly wiping your eyes dry before he could see that you were crying. ‘’Can you at least spend the night?’’
A small smile formed on your lips as you slowly walked towards the bed, sitting down. His back was facing you, your eyes scanning his body. Counting the birthmarks that were splattered all over his back, counting them just like you had done many nights before. There was always the same amount, 7, to be exact. You carefully laid down next to him, turning around you so were facing his back. You slowly wrapped your arm around his waist, trying to pull yourself closer to him. But the boy quickly wiggled out of your grip, making your arm fall down your side again. ‘’I don’t want to hug, I just want to sleep.’’ He muttered, his back still facing you.
You felt the tears well up behind your eyelids once again, shutting your eyes shut as you laid there in silence. You decided it was best not to say anything and just let him go to sleep. You knew this was the last time you would get to spend time with Draco this way, your heart aching as the thought entered your mind. A tear dropped down your cheek, doing your best to hold the sobs back. You let the tears stream down your cheeks as soon as you heard him lightly snoring in front of you, knowing he was asleep. You turned around so you were laying on your back, staring at the ceiling.
You didn’t sleep that night. The heartbreak kept you awake all night, not that it mattered anyways because you knew you had to get up early so you could leave before everyone woke up. You left early, earlier than usual that morning, not even looking Dracos way one last time as you left his dorm. You knew that if you did, you would just break down crying. But as soon as you entered the halls and couldn’t smell his fragrance anymore, you felt your heart break into a million pieces. You hurried down the halls, tears leaving your eyes as you tried your best to hold the sobs back just like you had done a couple of hours earlier.
That night was the last time Draco came looking for you late at night; both of you knew it was over. There was nothing left to say or do. The next day you watched how they walked down the halls, hand in hand, laughing. When he walked past you, not even looking your way; that was when you realized it was over. That was when you realized you were nothing but a mistake to him, and it absolutely killed you inside. The feeling of his rough lips pressed against your skin and his fingertips lingering over your bare thighs still remained, leaving you heart broken.
pairing: draco malfoy x reader word count: 2,7k summary: things suddenly change when your friend, draco, meets someone new. a/n: part 2 of this imagine !! enjoy <3
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You hadn’t spoken to Draco in weeks. After he left you standing alone in one of the halls, feeling confused and heartbroken, you couldn’t find the courage to even look in his direction. He slowly started going to the classes you two shared, blaming his absence on ‘more important stuff’. People had been talking about why he hadn’t been attending some classes, some even asked you about it. But no one ever questioned him, everyone just went along with it and eventually just let go of the topic. You on the other hand, just couldn’t let go.
You were still utterly heartbroken. Sure, it had gotten easier being around him without your heart completely breaking or feeling like you were about to burst into tears any second. But the heartbreak always came lingering back at the end of the day, tears escaping your eyes as soon as you laid down in your bed where no one could see you. Hermione had been the first one to find you in the hallways, immediately spotting you crying while looking for you so the two of you could walk each other to class. That day, she swore that she would kill Malfoy one day. As soon as you told Ron and Harry about it, they swore that they would hex him next time they saw him. It took a while for you to talk them out of it, but eventually, you succeeded; even though it took a lot of convincing.
To your surprise, the heartbreak had led you to a new friendship. You had never interacted with Cedric Diggory during your time at Hogwarts even though you two shared a lot of classes together, until now. ‘’I don’t know what to do,’’ You complained, running your hands through your hair as you let out a sigh of annoyance. ‘’There’s no way I’m going to pass this class.’’ You said as Hermione hummed. ‘’Don’t say that,’’ She said, placing her hand on your shoulder. ‘’Why don’t you ask someone to help you out?’’ She asked, tilting her head. ‘’Like who? You’re too busy, Ron absolutely sucks at this subject and I know Harry is too busy as well,’’ You let out, throwing your hands in the air. Hermione looked around the room, scanning the students. ‘’I’ve heard Cedric is quite good at this class.’’ She eventually said, her eyes finding their way back to you.
After that, you and Cedric became friends. He was more than happy to help you, and eventually, the friendship turned into more than just him helping you study. He would sit with you during breakfast, walk you to all your classes, he would even wait for you after his classes just so he could walk you back to your dorm. But even though he was an amazing friend, you hated to admit the fact that he was nothing but a replacement. Sure, he did all the things Draco would do, but it just wasn’t the same thing. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t let go of him. And you hated yourself for it.
Today was no different. You walked out of your class, already knowing Cedric would be waiting for you just around the corner. A smile formed on your lips as you spotted the dark-haired boy leaning against the wall, his eyes scanning the hallways. A big smile formed on his lips as he spotted you as well, walking towards you. ‘’Hello there Y/N,’’ He greeted you as he wrapped his strong arms around your waist, pulling you into a warm hug. You wrapped one of your arms around his neck, the other one holding your books. ‘’Hello Cedric,’’ You let out, holding onto him tightly. ‘’Do you mind me helping you out with those?’’ He asked as he pulled away from the hug, looking down at the books you were holding in your arms. ‘’Please.’’ You laughed as you handed him your books. He gave you a warm smile as you started walking down the halls.
You had to admit, Cedric was attractive. You knew every girl at Hogwarts thought the exact same thing, some girls had even tried giving him a potion that would make him fall in love with them. The first time Cedric told you about it, you couldn’t help but laugh. Who could blame them? He had everything a girl could possibly want. An amazing smile, his piercing eyes, and a charming personality. Yet, you just couldn’t let yourself fall for him. Any girl would fall head over heels for him if they were in your position, but you just couldn’t do it. Somewhere in your mind, the thought of Draco one day coming back to you still lingered and it was absolutely crushing you.
The yellow scarf was hanging from his neck, complimenting his skin tone. His cheeks were slightly red from the cold, causing you to assume he had been waiting outside your classroom for quite some time. The school would get quite cold during the winter, the cold air easily slipping through the cracks of the walls causing you to shiver. ‘’Are you cold?’’ You asked, looking up at your friend. ‘’Can you tell?’’ He laughed as he placed one of his hands on his cheek, making you laugh. He smiled at you, not taking his eyes off you. ‘’Hey Y/N,’’ He let out after a short silence, slowing down. ‘’Yeah?’’ You replied, raising one of your eyebrows as you waited for him to continue his sentence. ‘’Who are you going with?’’ He asked as he stopped walking completely. ‘’To the ball, I mean.’’ He continued. You let out a small chuckle, shaking your head. ‘’No one has asked me yet,’’ You answered, knowing it was a lie. The truth was that the person you wanted to ask you hadn’t asked you yet. ‘’Well in that case, would you like to go with me?’’
The question made you raise both your eyebrows as you stared at the boy in front of you. He stared back at you, waiting for an answer. You inhaled the cold air as you looked away from his gaze for a second, thinking about the question. You knew Draco wasn’t going to ask you. The hope slowly faded away as you looked back at your friend, a smile forming on your lips. ‘’There is no one I’d rather go with, Cedric,’’ You said, a big smile immediately forming on his lips. He was quick to wrap his arms around you, pulling you into another warm hug. You let out a giggle as you hugged him back, closing your eyes. It was time to let go.
The word spread around Hogwarts faster than you could’ve imagined. The next morning when you walked into the Great Hall to eat breakfast, all eyes were on you. You looked around in confusion, quickly spotting Cedric sitting at the Hufflepuff table. He was sitting with his friends, all of them eventually spotting you as well. As soon as they saw you, they started tugging at Cedric; then it hit you. A blush crept up on your cheeks as you quickly looked away, realizing they must’ve heard that he was taking you to the Yule Ball. Your eyes scanned the room, suddenly locking with a pair of grey ones.
Your heart stopped beating for a second. The blond boy was staring at you from across the room, an empty expression on his face. This was the first time in weeks you had actually seen Draco like this and you were not expecting it to happen any time soon, especially not now. You took a deep breath as you quickly looked away, tears filling your eyes as your heart started to ache once again. You started walking towards your friends, deciding that the best thing to do right now was just to avoid him and his gaze; even though you could feel his eyes burning into your back as you walked away.
‘’Cedric Diggory, the man himself!’’ Ron let out as you sat down beside him. ‘’The infamous Diggory,’’ Harry continued his friend’s sentence, a smile on his face. ‘’How did you do it?’’ Ron asked, looking at you with a big smile. You let out a chuckle, shaking your head. ‘’It’s a secret.’’ You smirked, making both Harry and Ron holler as Hermione let out a small laugh. ‘’I was starting to worry that you wouldn’t even go Y/N,’’ Hermione let out, you could hear the worry filling her voice. She had been extremely worried about you since the incident with Draco, constantly checking up on you. You gave her a reassuring smile as you placed your hand on her leg. ‘’Of course Hermione, I would never miss the ball.’’ You smiled, her smiling back at you as she nodded. You placed your arms on the table, slipping into your own world as your friends continued talking about the ball. You slowly looked the direction where Draco was sitting, but he was nowhere to be seen.
‘’Excuse me,’’ You suddenly heard a voice say behind you, making you slightly jump. You turned around, hesitating to do so. As soon as you spotted the person standing behind you, your heart dropped. There he was, standing right in front of you. ‘’You need to leave Malfoy.’’ Hermione quickly said, her fists clenching as she spoke. ‘’That’s not a very nice way to greet me, is it, Granger?’’ Draco hissed, a smirk on his face as he looked Hermione’s way. You could see Hermione looking your way, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look up from your lap. ‘’What do you want?’’ Harry scoffed. Draco looked his way before slowly looking over at you once again. ‘’I came to talk to Y/N.’’ He grunted, your heart dropping as he said your name. ‘’No, absolutely not,’’ Hermione exclaimed, quickly standing up as she shook her head.
‘’I’m afraid it’s not your choice,’’ Draco chuckled, looking down at the shorter girl. ‘’So, Y/N, may I have a word with you?’’ He asked once again, looking back at you who was still sitting down. ‘’You don’t have to talk to him Y/N,’’ Hermione quickly said as her gaze met yours. ‘’Granger! Just stop talking already,’’ Draco hissed in annoyance. ‘’It’s okay Hermione, I’ll go talk to him.’’ You let out, giving her a small smile. She could see the sadness filling your face, but she knew there was nothing she could do about it so she just sat back down after a few moments of silence; letting out a huff in annoyance. You stood up, not daring to look up at Draco, scared that you would burst into tears. He grabbed your arm as he pulled you out of the room, just like he had done that day.
He eventually stopped walking as you reached a spot where no one could see or hear you, the lump in your throat growing bigger and bigger. You knew what had happened last time he wanted to talk, so you didn’t expect this to go down any differently; preparing yourself for another heartbreak. ‘’Cedric Diggory, huh?’’ He let out after a short silence. You could feel his presence in front of you, still not daring to look up at him. He placed his hands in his front pockets as a small sigh escaped his lips. ‘’Could you at least look at me?’’ He asked after another short silence. You inhaled some of the cold air before looking up at him, your eyes meeting his grey ones once again. ‘’Is it true that Diggory is taking you to the ball?’’ He asked, not taking his eyes off you. ‘’Yes,’’ You let out as Draco scoffed, shaking his head and he broke the eye contact. ‘’I’ve seen the two of you around,’’ He continued, making you raise one of your eyebrows in confusion. ‘’I see the way he looks at you.’’ He mumbled. ‘’We’re just going as friends.’’ You quickly mumbled, making him let out another scoff. ‘’Friends? Sure.’’ He scolded as his eyes met yours once again.
‘’I don’t see why it matters to you,’’ You eventually said. You were confused as to why he even cared, it wasn’t like he was planning on taking you anyways. ‘’I just care about you, that’s all,’’ Draco answered, causing you to chuckle. ‘’What’s that supposed to mean?’’ You asked, folding your arms. ‘’He’s just not a good guy Y/N,’’ He continued, making you gasp. You stared at him, disappointment filling your eyes. ‘’How dare you even say that?’’ You exclaimed, feeling the anger building up as you defended your friend. ‘’It’s not like you’re any better!’’ The words slipped out of you before you could stop yourself, slowly regretting what you had just said. ‘’You and Pansy truly do belong together, both of you are just as blind and ignorant.’’ You huffed before turning around to walk off, not wanting to say anything else; afraid it would only make the situation worse.
Before you had the chance to walk away, you felt Dracos cold hand wrap around your wrist once again, pulling you back. ‘’Excuse me?’’ He snapped, anger filling his voice. ‘’Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about!’’ You snapped back at him, shaking your head. ‘’I made it so obvious,’’ You continued, getting more and more upset as you spoke. ‘’Yet you were the one who broke my heart Draco, not Cedric!’’ You exclaimed. ‘’Made what obvious?’’ Draco barked, furrowing his eyebrows in anger. ‘’That I like you stupid!’’
With that being said, Draco slammed his lips against yours. You had no idea what do to, feeling paralyzed as his hand grabbed your cheek, pulling you closer to him. The kiss was raw, filled with emotions as you slowly relaxed into his touch. You slowly placed your hand on his chest, grabbing onto the fabric. He slowly pulled away, leaving you confused. ‘’What?’’ You whimpered as his forehead touched yours. ‘’Can’t you see?’’ He breathed. ‘’It was always you,’’ He let out as his hand caressed your cheek. You furrowed your eyebrows. ‘’But, Pansy,’’ You mumbled, shaking your head. Draco let out a chuckle, shaking his head as well. ‘’Why do you think she didn’t want me around you?’’ He asked, looking down at your small figure compared to his. ‘’But you treat her so differently,’’ You whispered, looking into his eyes. ‘’Only because I didn’t know how to treat you, knowing that I liked you.’’ He answered.
You had no idea what to say or do. His words felt unreal, almost like it wasn’t true. ‘’But,’’ Draco said, his hand slowly leaving your cheek. The cold feeling of his silver rings left your skin, making you ache for his touch. ‘’I understand if you’re with Diggory now.’’ He said, disappointment lingering in his voice. ‘’I mean, it’s my fault isn’t it?’’ He chuckled, looking down at you. You quickly grabbed his hand before he let it fall down his side, placing it back on your cheek. ‘’Please just kiss me,’’ You whispered, your eyes meeting his once again. He looked at you for a moment before leaning down to press his soft lips against yours once again, your heart slowly being filled with warmth as you pulled him closer.
‘’I couldn’t stand the way he looks at you,’’ He whispered as he pulled away. ‘’The way he stared at you from across the room.’’ You shook your head as the words left his lips. ‘’I was hoping it was you that was staring,’’ You let out, making him chuckle. ‘’You already know I was.’’ He gave you half a smile as the words left his mouth, pulling you into his chest. You closed your eyes as his long arms wrapped around you, finally feeling safe and sound. ‘’I think I have someone to go break up with,’’ He whispered into your ear, making you slap his arm lightly. ‘’You better.’’
pairing: draco malfoy x reader word count:2,2k summary:things suddenly change when you friend, draco, meets someone new. a/n:this is the first time i post in a very long time, i’m so very sorry ! i hope this is okay and that u enjoy reading it. part two will be out very very soon <3 ! (i’m so sorry if there’s any spelling mistakes) READ PART 2 HERE
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You could see Draco perfectly from where you were sitting. His blond hair was falling over his forehead, his hands placed on the table in front of him; playing with one of his silver rings as he spoke to the person sitting next to him. You sat down across the room, along with your friends. You had been friends with Draco for quite some time now, and at this point it was getting hard for you to deny the crush you had developed on him over time. It was getting obvious, everyone seemed to notice, even your friends. Everyone buthim.
‘’What you staring at Y/N?’’ Rons sudden voice made you snap out of your thoughts, quickly looking his way. You felt a small blush creep upon you cheeks as Hermione shook her head in disapproval. ‘’What do you think, Ronald?’’ She let out in annoyance, looking up from the book she was holding in her hands. ‘’She’s obviously staring at Malfoy.’’ She continued, making you slap her arm lightly. ‘’I wasn’t staring!’’ You let out, a desperate try to defend yourself. ‘’Whatever you say.’’ She said under her breath, rolling her eyes. ‘’You know,’’ Ron let out, his mouth stuffed with food. ‘’I just can’t understand how you’re friend with someone like him.’’ He said, looking Dracos way as he picked his plate using his fork.
To be honest, you didn’t even know why you had fallen for the blond boy. Draco was known for his horrible ways, always picking on everyone, even you. But things changed as you got to know him, when you got to see the other side of him; the side people barely ever saw. He was actually quite a gentleman to the people he knew, he would always help you with your homework or invite you to hang out. Sure, he still had his moments where he could be really horrible, but as time passed that side slowly went away whenever he was around you. ‘’I don’t understand either,’’ Harry let out. ‘’You’ve seen yourself the way he acts.’’ You let out a small chuckle as your eyes found their way back to Draco. ‘’I wish I had an answer to your question Ron, but sadly I don’t.’’ You answered, making Ron scoff as he continued to eat his food. ‘’Enough about Draco,’’ Hermione said as she shut her book close, placing it on the table in front of her. ‘’Who are you planning on taking to the Yule Ball, boys?’’
The Yule Ball was coming up. Everyone was excited about it, especially Ron and Harry, their only chance to interact with a girl. You on the other hand, weren’t too excited. Some boys had already aksed you to the ball, which you had politely declined; in hopes that Draco would ask you. You knew it wasn’t going to happen, but you couldn’t help yourself from hoping that he would surprise you and ask you. ‘’Harry’s definietly taking Cho.’’ Ron said, a small smirk forming on his face. ‘’I haven’t even asked her yet!’’ Harry let out, looking around to make sure no one had heard his friend. You let out a small laugh as your eyes found their way back to Draco once again. He was now busy eating the food that was on the plate in front of him, making small conversation with the people around him.
That was when she sat down next to him. Pansy Parkinson. You knew Draco and the girl had always been friends, you had seen the two of them together before you became friends with Draco. But recently, you noticed that something changed between the two of them. They suddenly seemed very close, constantly hanging around each other. But most importanly, you noticed how Draco would change whenever he was around her. As soon as she entered the room, a smile would form on his lips as he always greeted her with a big hug. He would always act friendly around you, but never the way he acted around her. The smile on your lips slowly faded as he greeted the dark haired girl with a hug, like he always did. Suddenly, he placed his hand on her thigh. He probably thought no one noticed, but from where you were sitting you could see his hand under the table. Your heart dropped as you quickly looked away, not daring to continue looking. ‘’Y/N? Has anyone asked you yet?’’ Hermione asked you, making you look down at your lap. ‘’No,’’ You lied, playing with your fingers. ‘’Really?’’ Ron let out, sounding surprised. ‘’I wouldn’t worry about it too much, I’m sure someone is going to ask you soon.’’ Hermione gave you a comforting smile as you gave her a small smile back. You let out a small hum, picking up your fork.
After that, things changed. You hadn’t spoken to Draco in what felt like days, and it was driving you crazy. Sure, you had feeligns for him and it broke your heart not seeing him, but you were also afraid that you were losing him as your friend. It was unusal for Draco not to speak to you at least once a day, you two had a couple of classes together after all. But lately you hadn’t even seen him in class, your eyes searching for him in every class; looking for his bright blue eyes. To your disappointment, you never spotted him. ‘’Maybe Cedric will take you to the ball,’’ Ron said as you sat down on the cold grass next to him. ‘’Cedric?’’ You asked, confusion lingering in your voice. After you had told them no one had asked you to the ball a few days back, Ron hadn’t stopped talking about it. ‘’Diggory,’’ He continued, looking the opposite direction. Your eyes followed his, spotting the Hufflepuff sitting a few feet away. You let out a laugh as you shook your head. ‘’What makes you think that?’’ You asked, Hermione sitting down next to you. Ron shrugged as he looked back at you. ‘’Just giving you some options.’’
It was a cold day out. You had came outside with Ron and Hermione between one of your classes to take some fresh air, the cold air immediatly hitting your warm face as you stepped outside. You wrapped your coat around your body tighter, a desperete try to warm yourself up as you felt your whole body shiver. You looked around, studying the other students. It seemed like you weren’t the only one who had came out here as the whole courtyard was filled with students. That’s when you spotted him. You eyes immediatly became bigger as you quickly stood up. ‘’I’ll catch up with you guys later,’’ You mumbled, making your friends look at you in confusion. They quickly spotted the blond boy, making Hermione sigh. ‘’Off she goes.’’ She shook her head as she watched you walk off in a hurry.
‘’Draco!’’ You called out, getting closer and closer to him. He quickly turned around, his face slowly turning into a small smile has he spotted you. ‘’There you are,’’ You smiled as you wrapped your arms around the taller boy. He lightly hugged you back, quickly letting his arms fall to his sides. Your smile faded away and was replaced by a frown. You let go of the boy and looked up at him. ‘’Where have you been?’’ You asked, raising your eyebrows. ‘’What do you mean?’’ He asked, placing his hands in his pockets. ‘’I just haven’t seen you in ages,’’ You continued, not taking your eyes off him. He looked around, trying his best to avoid eye contact. ‘’I’ve just been busy.’’ He let out, still avoiding eye contact. ‘’With what exactly?’’ You asked once again, feeling your heart drop as you spoke. He let out a sigh in annoyance before grabbing your arm, walking off with you behind him.
You stumbled after him, confusion plastered all over your face. ‘’Where are we going?’’ You asked as you entered the school once again. The hallways were almost empty, everyone either waiting for the class to begin or hanging out with their friends outside. ‘’We need to talk.’’ He mumbled as he continued walking down the halls. He suddenly stopped walking, letting go off your arm; his cold hand leaving your skin. He turned around so he was facing you once again with a frown on his face. You looked at him, waiting for him to say something. His cheeks were red from the cold, his blue eyes brighter than ever. ‘’You know I’m with Pansy now, right?’’
The words made you feel sick. For a moment, you had no clue what to say. You opened your mouth to speak, but not a single word came out. ‘’Oh,’’ You let out after a short silence, him not taking his eyes of you. You could hear the hurt in your own voice, letting out a cough in order to try cover it up. ‘’Oh!’’ You let out again, this time trying your best to sound as happy as you possibly could. ‘’I’m so glad for you two, I mean, I can see the way she looks at you,’’ You said, forcing a smile; trying to convince him you were telling the truth. ‘’But,’’ you continued, the smile slowly fading. ‘’Is that what you wanted to talk about?’’ You asked. Draco let out a sigh as he ran his fingers through his hair, looking away from your gaze. ‘’That’s why you haven’t seen me around, Y/N.’’ He muttered. You raised your eyebrows, failing to understand what he meant. ‘’Well, I understand if you want to hang around her and stuff, it’s just that I haven’t even seen you in class,’’ You continued, doubt filling your voice. ‘’You don’t understand,’’ He let out in annoyance, interrupting you. ‘’She doesn’t want me to hang around you anymore.’’
It took you a while to procress the words that had just left his mouth. You just couldn’t seem to understand what he meant by his words, leaving you confused. ‘’What?’’ You asked, meeting his gaze. ‘’And if that’s what she wants, that’s what I’m going to do,’’ He continued, not taking his eyes of you. You stared at him for a moment, trying to find the right words. You could tell he was trying to read your face, trying to understand what you were feeling. ‘’Have you been avoiding me?’’ Your voice was low, you could barely hear yourself speak. ‘’I’m sorry Y/N.’’ He mumbled under his breath, almost like he didn’t want you to hear him apologize. You felt the tears starting to well up behind your eyelids.
All this time, he was avoiding you. He wasn’t just missing classes because he was ill or something like that, he had been missing them because you were there. You held back your tears, looking down at the ground as you didn’t want him to see how his words affected you. ‘’So you mean we can’t even be friends?’’ You let out, your voice almost cracking. ‘’I’m afraid we can’t,’’ He spoke. ‘’But we were barely ever friends anyways, so it shouldn’t really matter.’’ He continued. The words made you chuckle, your heart breaking. His voice was so monotone, not a single emotion lingered in his voice. He didn’t even seem upset. ‘’I see,’’ You whispered, still looking down at your shoes. ‘’I’m sorry again, Y/N,’’ He said, fixing his tie as he spoke. ‘’I’ll see you around.’’ And with that being said, he left. He left you standing there, feeling empty. You could hear his shoes hitting the stone floor as he walked off, a tear finally escaping your eye as he could no longer see you. You looked up, watching his figure slowly disapearing as he walked further and further away. Another tear hit your cheek as you closed your eyes. ‘’I should’ve listened to my friends, huh?’’ You whispered to yourself, letting out a small chuckle at the irony of it all.
All along, you had denyed all the horrible things people had said about him; when in reality, it was all true. You sat down against the wall, letting the tears fall down your cheeks. Maybe he was right, you two were barely even friends. But you couldn’t help but think about the way he had acted around you. He would always act so different around you, throwing his arm around your shoulders or helping you out with the smallest of things. When you had accidently gotten hurt, he was the first to visit you in the hospital wing, even before any of your close friends. You could’ve sworn there was something there, but now, it all just seemed ridiclous. Maybe you just made it all up in your head, maybe you just wanted him to like you back so badly that you started to see things that wasn’t even there. But it didn’t matter, he had broken your heart, badly, without even knowing.
pairing: draco malfoy x reader word count: 1,1k summary: when draco catches harry potter flirting with you, he doesn’t take it too well. a/n: this is kind of a full version of this headcanon , it’s definitely not the best and i could’ve done a way better job but i kinda just wrote this so i could get rid of my writers block and i feel like i have other imagines waiting for me that i should prioritize right now . i hope u guys enjoy this small angsty, kind of smutty (?? not really) imagine tho !! <3 warnings: kind of smutty, might be some writing errors
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There was no one Draco Malfoy despised more than Harry Potter himself, and he wasn’t exactly keeping it a secret. Draco had been at Harry’s neck ever since the first day he saw the boy, there was something about him Draco just couldn’t stand. Everyone knew that it was purely because Harry had everything Draco had ever wanted, but Draco would never admit that. So instead his hate for Potter just grew more and more for each day that passed.
And there was no one Draco loved more than you, his girlfriend. Or he didn’t know if you actually were his girlfriend yet, but he surely knew he loved you and had for a long time. You started seeing Draco at the start of the sixth year, even though you had known him since your first year at Hogwarts. He never thought much of you, he never really said anything to you or even paid much attention to you. Until he got paired up with you in one of your classes, leading to him falling head over heels for you; wanting to be with you every second of the day. Draco wasn’t sure if you two were a couple yet, as you two did all the things couples would do; sleep together at night, cuddle and most importantly, have sex.
The blond boy walked into the great hall, ready to eat breakfast as his eyes searched the room for you. He spotted you sitting at your usual spot, waiting for him, just like you had done every morning. A small smile spread across Draco’s lips as he saw you talking to someone, being too busy with staring at your lips moving as you spoke to even look who you were talking to. But as he got closer, he quickly realized who it was. ‘’Potter,’’ The words left his lips, the small smile disappearing completely as he furrowed his eyebrows.
This was the last thing Draco wanted to see. He had never seen Harry speak to you before, so why was he talking to you all of a sudden? ‘’So you’re in the same charms class as me, right?’’ Harry asked with a smile on his lips as you nodded. ‘’Right!’’ You answered, smiling back at him. Harry had approached you just a couple of minutes earlier, asking if he could sit down for a minute. You had no problem with him whatsoever, so of course, you let him sit down next to you. ‘’I thought I’d seen you before,’’ He continued. ‘’It’s kind of hard to miss you, if you know what I mean.’’ His ears turned red as he spoke, clearly embarrassed. You had heard the rumors going around school, that Harry Potter wasn’t the best with girls; and at this point, you couldn’t help but laugh. ‘’I’m just going to assume that’s a compliment,’’ You laughed as the brown-haired boy next to you rubbed his neck. ‘’Oh, yeah, it was! It really was,’’ He stuttered, still embarrassed. ‘’I didn’t come over here to make a fool of myself though,’’ He chuckled, avoiding eye contact.
‘’Don’t be silly! Thank you for complimenting me.’’ You gave him a warm smile, letting him know it was okay. A small smile spread on Harry’s lips as he looked up at you, opening his mouth to speak. But before a word could leave his mouth, his smile dropped. You furrowed your eyebrows as his gaze turned to something behind you, his eyes big. ‘’Well,’’ A familiar voice said behind you, causing you to turn around to identify who the voice was coming from. ‘’I see you’ve taken a liking to my girl, Potter?’’ Draco spat, placing one of his large hands on your shoulder. ‘’Draco,’’ You let out, the words my girl surprising you. You could tell the words had surprised Harry just as much, as he couldn’t form another sentence. Harry would usually be rather quick when it came to talking back to Draco, but this time he was left completely quiet. ‘’Can I have a word with you, Y/N?’’ Draco asked, still looking at Harry who was still sitting next to you. You quickly nodded as you stood him, immediately being pulled away by the blond boy.
As you reached the empty Slytherin common room, all the other students eating breakfast which left you two alone, Draco pulled you in by the waist. ‘’So,’’ He muttered, breathing down your neck. ‘’Do I really have to show you who you belong to?’’ He whispered, pressing a kiss onto your neck, making your whole body shiver. ‘’You called my your girl,’’ You whimpered as he softly pressed another kiss onto your sensitive skin. Draco let out a small hum as he continued to press small kisses down your neck. ‘’Are you jealous?’’ You let out, causing Draco to freeze. You stood there, completely frozen as you were scared of what his next move would be. Instead, he just continued kissing down your neck, now slightly sucking on the sensitive skin. ‘’I just think Potter needs to learn how to stay in his place.’’ He mumbled against your skin, causing you to let out a small moan as you wrapped your arms around his neck; pulling you closer to him. He kissed up your jawline, his lips eventually meeting yours.
The kiss was rough. Your lips moved together perfectly as he just pulled you closer to him, his hands finding their way under your shirt as he grabbed onto your cold skin. Your hands found their way towards his blond hair, tugging at it; causing Draco to let out a small grunt as he kissed you even harder. At this point, you could feel his hard-on rub against the material of your clothes, making you wetter and wetter.
He grabbed your throat as he pulled away, making you groan as you never wanted him to pull away. ‘’How about,’’ He mumbled, looking down your body; admiring your figure. ‘’You show me who you belong to?’’ He said, looking back up at you. His eyes were filled with lust, making you weak at your knees as you wanted nothing more than for him to touch you. ‘’How do I do that?’’ You asked, causing a chuckle to leave Draco’s lips. ‘’Get down on those pretty knees for me love.’’ The very same moment the words left his lips, you dropped to your knees. You looked up at him, a smirk forming on his face as he stroked your hair. ‘’You’re such a good girl, my good girl.’’
You took a deep breath with your eyes closed, in an attempt to relieve your anxiety by reminding yourself what were you going to do.
You had been through this process almost for three hours. Calming yourself just to be on the edge again. If it had been in another situation, it would have been tiring, but the adrenaline that run non stop through your body wouldn’t allow it. It had all started when you decided to open that cookie. Which had been consequence of the advice of the Lady at the counter of the pharmacy. This had happened because you couldn’t handle anymore the change of mood you were having, the dizziness, the disgust you got from some of the food you loved and this new sensitive smell you had recently acquired. All of this comes down to the paper that you got after breaking the magical cookie which was supposed to tell you the source of your pain, which in your cause was due to your pregnancy. Definitely you hadn’t thought of that option. Truth was, at first you were just relieved to read it wasn’t a terminal flu or something scary. Nonetheless, when the words sank in you were as stunned as if you had been told your pancreas was dying. You hadn’t had the need to have children, it was just a dream you had when you were younger. But now that time has gone by, you didn’t give it as much importance as before. Maybe it was because…. Oh well that is going to be a problem Your husband wasn’t a ‘kids man’ Even if you had never talked about having a family of your own, his attitude toward having children was rather indifferent, he could be nice to your nephew but would get mad easily by their noisy behavior, which cause that every meal at your sister’s house would be filled with holding hands and whispers for the sake of his easily-annoyedtrait. Nevertheless, after reading those words and realizing what they meant, you put a hand in your non-showing stomach, and couldn’t help the joy bubbling inside you. You couldn’t help but smile while rubbing your belly, thinking about the human being that was growing inside you. Now that you had experienced this happiness you weren’t going to give it up. You wanted to have this baby, but the thought of your husband creeped fear in you. He was never going to leave you, you knew the man is devoted to you, loving you unconditionally. But what if, in order to make you happy, he would put on an act, and say he’d love to have this child just so you won’t be sad. Moreover, it’s a freaking child! A little human being he’d have to feed, educate… If he really didn’t want it, it would ruin his life! ‘What I’m supposed to do?’ You moaned. Suddenly one of your previous thoughts came to your mind. “...We’ve never talked about having a family of our own… ‘that’s it!. I can try to persuade him and then when he accepts it (because he will…., won’t he ?) I’ll wait to make sure it’s just not to shut me up and then I’ll tell him” This was the plan you had repeated to yourself since you decided it would be the best option.
You looked at the rainy streets from your cozy apartment. The smell of a delicious meal being cooked making you mouth water as you waited for the beloved blonde to arrive.
The beeping of the oven woke you from your train of thoughts. You grabbed your wand. With a swift movement of your wrist, the chicken was out of the oven, and spiced. Turning around, you casted another spell to set the table beautifully. Only a few seconds later, you were lighting the candles with the tip of your wand, just to hear the door unlocking
“I’m home” he announced. You could hear him remove his coat and setting his suitcase on the table as he approached the kitchen “Uhmm… darling, it smells magnificent” he said as he came closer to give you a chaste kiss “What’s the occasion?”
You bit your lip, your lips curving up a little “I don’t believe there has to be reason to make my husband a nice dinner”
“Well, thank you” he almost whispered on the point of leaving another kiss
You stopped him by putting a finger on his lips “It´s going to get cold”
He pouted, and followed you as you sat in your chair.
Dinner went smoothly, eating your meal while talking about your day and commenting on different matters. Your heart beated faster and faster as you couldn’t find a moment to start your plan. Scared that at the end you wouldn’t tell him, you promised yourself that when you another pause would settled, you’ll tell Draco.
“Draco” you started as you were enjoying your dinner.
The silence that followed it made Draco’s eyes look up to his wife. You were looking directly at him while playing with your fingers, a habit that manifests when you are nervous. This got his full attention
“I wanted to talk to you about… something”
The way you said those words, almost as if you were obligating yourself to say them, only helped to worry him.
He extended his hand across the table, to wrap his big one in yours in a comforting way “What is it?”
If you thought that you were nervous before, this was a million times worse. You were with your heart on your mouth, struggling to remember what you were supposed to do next.
“Well-I-I…” you stuttered. You looked at him. His eyebrows frowned, his figure slightly balanced toward you… you could feel how worried he was about what was coming next. You looked at your interviewed hands, reminding you how much you love each other. Taking a deep breath, you kept going “Christmas is coming, and I know this year we are going to your family’s manor, though I couldn’t stop thinking about my sister” He would have interrupted ‘We could go to your sister’s, I don’t mind’, but he knew you better than to do that “And, I don’t know, lately I’ve been thinking about my-our nephews. I know they can be quite messy, but I love them” You paused, a small smile growing on your lips as a memory came to your mind “Do you remember when they started calling you ‘Unk Drac’?”
Your husband smiled thinking about those children “Yeah” he agreed “noisy, but they can be quite an adorable couple” He looked at you trying to figure out what was it all about “I don’t understand, do you want us to spend the holidays at your sister’s…?”
“No, no, that’s not what I meant. What I’m trying to tell you, is that I want that Draco. I want a child of our own”
This took Malfoy by surprise, and you took his shocked face and his lack of words, a sign of it going wrong
“Of course I want this to be a decisionwe make, you don’t have to agree if you don’t want to” still no words had left his mouth “But I mean, it would be a pity if the prestigious Malfoy bloodline died”
You tried to fix it, not knowing it made things worse.
Draco got up, he rubbed his forehead as he sighed “I know what this is all about”
“You do?”
“(Y/N), you have been talking with father, haven’t you?”
“No, I-”
“You are the last person I’d have thought of falling in my father’s words”
“I haven’t- Draco this is not about your father-”
“Of course not” he replied sarcastically “you know that I stopped believing in the blood status a long time ago. Merlin, you helped me through it”
His voice had gotten louder, not yelling, rather with a frustration tone.
“Draco” You said calmly. You made it up to his tall figure that leaned on the back of the chair “Draco” you repeated as you stood behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist. His back still faced you, so you rested your head, feeling his breaths “I didn’t mean to upset you. It was just an stupid argument to make you agree” you felt his muscles relax a little bit “truth is, I want this kid for us. I want it to be ours, just ours. No bloodlines, no anything. I want it to bring joy to our home and makes ushappy. Not to satisfy anyone but us. I want it so that we can have our own little family. Draco, I love you” You left a soft kiss in his back.
He turned around and engulfed you in a hug. You felt his lips moving against your hair “Yes, I want a child”
You backed down a little to look at him in the face, wanting to know if there was any sign of lie in his features “Really?”
“Yes, yes” he answered. You could see some happy tears forming in his eyes as he repeated it “In fact, I’d thought of it too, never giving it much importance. But now…” he sighed in happiness as he caressed your cheek and put his forehead against yours “…now I’m sure. Let’s have a baby. Just you and me. Our own little family”
“You don’t know how many times I’ve dreamed of you saying that”
He smiled and smashed his lips against yours, starting a heated kiss, which after coming to your senses, you had to stop.
He tried to join your lips again, but you refuse to continue it “Come on, this baby isn’t going to be made itself” He smiled trying once more to rejoin your lips.
“Actually… it´s already made”
This definitely froze him in his spot
“What? You-you are…”
“Pregnant?” you finished for him “yes”
You saw his perplexed face starting to glow from happiness. He backed up, grabbing your hands and lifting them up to have a better look at you. You weren’t nervous, you were now sure he wanted this baby as much as you did.
He smiled for the millionth time that night “You are pregnant” he repeated to check if what he had heard was right “You are pregnant” he pulled you closer “We are having a baby”
Disclaimer:This blog is strictly 18+, minors please do not interact as that is not something I am comfortable with. Please put your age in your bio. Thank you!
Pairing: Draco Malfoy x female reader
Summary:A love which you thought would last.
Warning:Angst.
Side note: Inspired by pretty when you cry. I may write a part 2. Happy reading!
An indescribable sort of happy emotion had bloomed in your heart at his words.
Arms made their way around you, pulling you into the familiar warmth you felt with Draco.
A flutter of little kisses was laid upon your neck – your eyes remained on the stars above.
The view of them from the astronomy tower was beautiful but being able to see them with Draco made it even better.
“I yearn for the day we’re able to be away from here.”
“Why’s that my love?” He rested his head in the curve of your shoulder.
“So, I can finally express my love for you in front of all those who are against us.”
He stiffened at your words, hands almost falling loosely on your form.
A silence so loud encompassed you both.
“Our love would never be accepted.”
It was hard, living in a world where the love between a half blood and pure blood wasn’t accepted.
“It wouldn’t matter to me…” You turn to face him, with his hands settled on your waist, “As long as I’m with you, nothing else will matter.”
His eyes were down cast and not meeting yours.
“Am I the girl that you dream of?” You ask caressing his face.
“Of course, you are.” He smiled down at you.
“All those little times you say that I’m your girl. You make me feel like your whole world.” You lay a kiss on his cheek.
The way he made you feel was surreal.
Even though you couldn’t be with each other in the eyes of everyone else. When it just the two of you the world seemed to come to a stop and all else ceased to matter.
“I’ll wait for you, always.” You promised and closed your eyes as he rested his forehead against yours.
Draco had previously become very distant with you. He had withdrawn into himself, and you had a feeling it had something to do with his father. It was a letter from a particular someone that had you cherishing every remaining moment you could with Draco as you didn’t know how much time you had with him.
Hiding this from him was the hardest thing you’d have to face.
Back to present:
You were walking back from your last class with your books pressed to your chest, making your way to the library to finish your homework.
“Hey y/n.” Pansy’s voice squeaked from the corner of the hallway you were about to enter.
“Yes?” You ask confused as she had only ever communicated with you about schoolwork.
She was leaned against the wall as your stopped in front of her, your eyes briefly me Draco’s as he was stood not too far away with the rest of his clique behind.
“Stay away from Draco.” She sneered towering over you.
“Excuse me?”
“I found the letters you wrote him. You seem a bit desperate for his attention.” Pansy turned towards Draco as he walked to her side with familiar envelopes in his hand.
“I have to say y/n, I thought ignoring them would’ve been the best choice, but you didn’t seem to stop after the first 10. Lucky, I kept them all.” He smirked and threw them towards you.
Thankfully you managed to catch them while balancing your textbooks. When you had a closer look at them, they were indeed letters from you, however these were letters you and Draco had exchanged between one another.
It was way you and him communicated with one another when you couldn’t meet at night.
You gazed back at him, tears gathering in your eyes.
His smirk seemed to weaken a bit before Pansy nudged him, she raised a brow at him.
He reached into the pocket of his robe and drew out his wand, it was pointed towards you.
“Aguamenti.”
You were drenched in water, textbooks soaked in minutes and the letters now almost soggy in your hand.
Pansy laugh could be heard echoing in the hallway, but that didn’t deter you from holding Draco’s gaze.
He seemed stunned for a moment before he put his wand back in his robe and then avoided eye contact with you.
“What’s going on here?” Harry’s voice boomed as he pushed through the small crowd of people surrounding the situation.
“Potter to the rescue.” Draco said in anger.
Harry looked at you up and down, noticing how your arms were now hugging your form as a way to protect yourself from the eyes of everyone.
The smirk on Pansy’s face and snickers coming from the rest of Draco’s clique explained the situation to Harry.
He glared at Draco as he took off his robe to put it around you, his pulled you into his side and he walked past Draco and bumped into his shoulder.
“I’ll get Hermione, okay? Just sit here for a moment.” Harry said before walking away.
Harry had been polite enough to bring you up to your dorm where he left you sitting on your bed.
When you were sure he was gone you allowed the tears to fall.
Draco had never acted like that before. He usually ignored your entire existence in front of everyone, as you did him. It was an agreement you both had made when your relationship had first started – which was nearly 3 years ago now.
“Oh y/n.” Hermione said sadly as she walked into the room.
“Harry told me what happened.” She said sitting next to you.
She comfortingly rubbed your back as your cried into her shoulder.
“I didn’t do anything.” You sobbed.
Hermione listened as your explained how the incident started.
“He’s going to regret what he did y/n. He doesn’t deserve you, and this isn’t anything he can be easily forgiven for.”
Hermione had known about your relationship with Draco. At first it was hard for her to comprehend as this was the boy who tormented her from the age of 11, but once she saw how effortlessly happy you were, she supported you.
“Let’s get you cleaned up.” She said waking up and opening the trunk in front of your bed to get some dry clothes for you.
You nodded and took the clothes from her and made your way to the girls bathroom.
While showering you couldn’t help but replay the incident in your mind. The way Draco looked at you wasn’t the way your Draco looked at you.
You chose to spend the rest of your evening in your dorm, telling Hermione you wanted to skip dinner due to being tired from the long week.
“I’ll bring you something to eat when we’re all done. I don’t want you going to bed on an empty stomach.” She said leaving no place for argument.
Draco’s eyes never left the entrance of the great hall. Each time someone entered, his eyes would wait to see if it was you.
“Aren’t you glad we got rid of your little stalker?” Pansy said gaining his attention.
He robotically nodded and looked down his plate.
Pansy was in his dorm earlier that day, rummaging through Draco’s things trying to find a reason as the why he was so distant with her and the rest of his ‘friends’. That’s when she came across the letters you had owled to him.
That’s when she came to him and curiously asked about it, disregarding the fact that she went through his things to find it.
Following her confrontation to him was the incident in which he used the Aguamenti charm on you – which he seemed to regret the moment he saw the tears in your eyes.
It was the first time he had made your cry.
“Draco, are you even listening?” Pansy asked from across him.
He nodded slowly before returning his eyes to the entrance, he saw Hermione walk into the great hall without you which was odd as you had always been at her side during any mealtime.
The rest of the time at the great hall was spent with his mind trying to come up with ways to contact you. He was aware at the fact that Hermione knew about you and him – but right now the last thing he wanted to do was ask her how you were knowing he would get an earful of scolding.
The rest of the castle was dark and asleep as you tiptoed your way to your place of comfort.
The astronomy tower.
You were sure Draco wouldn’t be there as he had a Quidditch match the next day.
Peaking at the top of the tower from a few stairs below, you made sure he wasn’t there before going forward.
It was a still a peaceful night, the sky clear of any cloud allowing the stars to shine.
You sat down at the edge, letting your legs dangle.
You leaned your hands against the railing and closed your eyes, enjoying the cool breeze.
The soft approaching footsteps caught your attention.
You panicked thinking it maybe filch. Quickly waking up from your spot, you moved toward a dim lit corner and stood still and out of sight.
When you saw a pair of grey eyes looking at you, you stepped out of your place of hiding, but still stayed a safe distance away from him.
“I thought I might find you here.” He said taking a step forward.
You took a step back instinctively.
Hurt flashed across his eyes, but he quickly diverted his gaze away and up to the stars.
“I’m sorry for what I did.” He said with a pained voice, still not meeting your eyes.
You remained silent.
“Pansy found your letters in my room, and I couldn’t think of any other excuse.”
“That still doesn’t excuse your actions Draco.” Your tone broke when you said his name, causing him to look at you and finally notice the tears.
Without thinking, he walked forward and enveloped you in his arms.
“Don’t cry love, please.” Seeing tears in your eyes and knowing he caused them pained him.
His thumb comfortingly caressed your cheek as you gazed up at him.
“What’re you doing you here Draco?” You ask, composing yourself.
“I didn’t see you for dinner.”
“I lost my appetite when water was dumped on me.”
You wriggled out of his grip and put a good distance between the two of you. You walk to the railing and rest of your hands on them. You knew the moment had come for you to make the final decision, and even though it hurt you the most, you knew Draco would be better of.
“I can’t do this anymore; I can’t continue to ignore it.” You said softly, but Draco was able to hear it.
He felt all blood drain from his face.
“What do you mean y/n?” He asked in a shaky tone.
“I barely recognize who you are anymore Draco. I’m losing myself by staying in the shadows with my love for you.”
“I’m still me y/n, I’m right here.” He said taking his hands in yours desperately.
“MyDraco is not here, he wouldn’t have done-“ You got choked up on your words.
“I’m sorry y/n, I didn’t mean to. I promise.”
A sad chuckle leaves your lips as you break from his hold and yet again put distance between the two of you.
He looks to you, holding eye contact. Desperate for you to see how this is affecting him, how he craves to have you in his arms.
“Y/n, please.”
You shake your head, feeling the endless tears flow down your cheeks.
“Don’t you remember all those special times I spent with you, my love?” He asked smiling at the memories.
“I’ll never forget them.” You smile sadly.
“You don’t have to.”
“It’s for the best Draco. We come from two different worlds, you yourself were so hesitant with this relationship from the start. Sometimes you still are.”
“No, I love you. I know that I love you. There’s nothing in this life for me if you’re not there y/n.” He pleads brokenly.
“You’re capable of so much in this life my love. Our love will forever be special to me, I would take you as my lover in every life if I could.”
He walks towards you and gets on his knees, hands wrapped around your waist.
He’s sobbing into your stomach.
In that moment, you knew you would never be able to love someone else the way you did Draco. He ruined the concept of love for you – and you wouldn’t change a thing about it.
You knew this would be your last moment in his arms.
“Draco, look at me.” You said more strongly this time.
He gazed up at you.
“I love you, with all that I am – but we cannot continue like this.” You lowered yourself to his level.
He could tell that you had made your mind up, the woman he loved was here in front of him saying they couldn’t be together.
Gathering himself, he brought your face towards his own and allowed your lips to meet for one last time.
It was a slow, painful and passion filled kiss.
“I love you.” He whispered not opening his eyes.
Not being able to see him like this any further, you got up from the floor and was practically running down the stairs of the astronomy tower.
Disclaimer:The content which is displayed below holds themes that are considered mature, minors are not to interact, thank you
Pairing:Draco Malfoy x female reader
Summary: Catching Draco in the position you did was the most unexpected thing you could think of. Things escalate as the tension thickens. From there, the last month of your project brings a craved love for the both of you.
Warning:Angst – not really, but just in case, fluff – soft!draco things, smut – p in v (minors dni).
Side note: The last part of my first mini-series for the harry potter fandom. I really enjoyed writing this, even though I took forever!!
“You can uncover your eyes.” Draco said not meeting your eyes as you lowered your hand.
“I’m so sorry that I barged in like that.” You said embarrassed.
“No, its not your fault. I should’ve kept track of time” He stepped forward to pass by you in order to retrieve his clothes.
His bare chest brushed by you as he passed, and you could feel the body heat emanating from him.
“I’ll be in the kitchen while you change.” You said and stepped out of the room.
The tension between you two seemed to intensify as your eyes met his when he nodded in response.
Once you were in the kitchen, your mind wouldn’t stop drifting away from the look of pleasure on Draco’s face, and the fact that he was moaning your name amplified it further.
There was an odd feeling of superiority in you knowing that he had thoughts of you while being bare and in euphoria.
The opening of Draco’s room door caught your attention and he stepped out fully clothed this time. It was utter silence between you two, for the reason that you both didn’t know what to say.
“Shall we get started?” He broke the silence.
“Yes, for sure. Of course.” You stumbled over your words.
You did quick work of taking out the progress of your project and beginning from where you left.
Although you two tried to ignore the tension the entire time, it was no lie that Draco had you squirming in your seat when he would lean over you to read what you had written or when he would put his hand on your shoulder to get a better look.
It brought back a particular night you spent alone in your dorm when your best friend was out. Draco had been on your mind, and you were feeling quite aroused that day.
Trailing your hands between your legs you imagined those greyish silver eyes looking down at you-
“Are you alright?” He finally asked when you didn’t seem to be paying attention.
“Uhm, yeah I’m okay.” You replied while your face heated up.
You gazed down to recollect your thoughts when you saw the bulge in Draco’s pants.
When Draco saw that your attention was elsewhere, he looked to the direction of your eyes and smirked.
“You seem a little distracted there y/n.” He stated with a small smirk.
Draco saying your name brought you out of your thoughts once again.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me today.”
“I’ve got an idea what it maybe.” Draco mumbled for you to not hear.
“We can take a break if you want to.” He said leaning back in the chair next to you.
“Do you want me to leave?” You asked without thinking.
“Leave? Why?”
“Well, earlier I interrupted you and I’m sure it’s not comfortable having to get to work right after not finishing what you were doing.”
Draco found this to be amusing, clearly because you were aroused and affected by what happened, but also at the fact that you were always a nervous wreck around him.
“Don’t you want to finish what you were doing?” You said unsure if you worded it correctly.
“Finish what exactly?”
“Pleasuring yourself.” You said biting you lip and glancing down.
Draco didn’t know how to reply to what you said.
“Have you ever done that? Pleasure yourself?” He asked curiously.
Not knowing what made you do it, but you nodded to him in response.
“How often do you do it?” He asked crossing his arms and running his eyes up and down your body.
His mind began to put together images of you in bed, with your hand between your legs and head thrown back in pleasure.
“Just when things get too overwhelming for me.” You admit.
To be completely honest, you never had much time to pleasure yourself when you shared a dorm room with your best friend. Only when life had gotten to the point of you feeling overwhelmed did you try to find opportunities to escape the realities of life.
“So, pleasuring yourself is like an escape for you?”
You couldn’t believe that you were having this conversation with Draco Malfoy, it seems to be true in saying to expect the unexpected.
“I guess you could put it like that.” You say with a small chuckle.
“What do you think about?” He moved his body in such a way that he was now fully facing you.
“Things I can only imagine doing.”
Draco’s breath hitches as you say those words.
“How about you? What do you think about?” A sudden boost in confidence comes to you.
He laughed at your question, but when he spoke, his voice had become much deeper than before, “Don’t act like you didn’t hear your name leave my lips.”
The space between you two seemed to be too far at the moment, and in a haste, you two moved towards one another and allowed your lips to meet in the middle.
His hands made its way on your waist and hoisted you up and on his lap so that you were straddling him.
Your hands went around your neck and into his hair as you two fought in the heat of the kiss.
A moan escaped your lips at the feeling of Draco’s cool hands on your back underneath your shirt.
“Take it off.” You said against his lips.
“Are you sure?” He asked pulling away from your lips.
“Yes.”
When you managed to take off your shirt, Draco looked to your breasts with desire filled eyes.
“Fuck.” He mumbled and started laying kisses from your neck to your breasts.
You sighed at the feeling; Draco’s kisses made goosebumps rise on your skin.
“Feeling cold?” He smiled when he looked to you, when you nodded, he made the choice of standing up and wrapping your legs around his lap. He made his way to his room, where it was much warmer.
He laid you down on the bed and made his way to between your legs.
“Before we go any further, I just want to clarify that before any of this I genuinely felt something very strong for you from when we were in Hogwarts. I don’t want you to think that I’m doing this just because we’re working on a project together.”
He had to make it known to you, after years of silently pining after you, he didn’t want to ruin the moment he’d been craving for the longest time.
“Are you serious? You’re such a twat. Throughout being in Hogwarts I thought you loathed me… Godrick, you’re so lucky that all I want to do is kiss you right now.” You say before leaning on your elbows and kissing him.
Draco smiled against your lips and wasted no time in removing his clothes while you did the same with yours.
When you were both bare and exposed to one another, your eyes trailed down his body and to his length which seemed to be fully aroused.
“You’re already so wet for me.” He growled as his hands went down your body and between your legs.
“Only for you.” You said and moved your hips in accordance with his hand.
“That feel good for you? You like how my fingers are rubbing your clit.”
His dirty words made you even wetter if it’s possible. Your hands were clenching the pillow beneath your head since Draco was sat up between your legs, moving his cock in his hand.
“Play with your tits for me.” He demanded as he picked up in the pace he was rubbing your clit, abiding by what he said, you felt yourself one step closer to pleasure.
“What’re you thinking about y/n? Tell me baby.” Draco noticed the glazed over look in your eye and knew your mind was miles away.
“You fucking me, deep, hard and fast.”
Draco felt himself losing the little bit of control that he had been holding back on.
“Is that what you want?” He asked looking at you with furrowed brows as he felt his cock becoming sensitive.
You nodded your head in response, but this wasn’t enough for Draco. He had to hear the words.
“No, you have to tell me.” He stopped rubbing your clit with his fingers and instead took his cock and ran the tip up and down the lips of your wet pussy. Occasionally making contact with your clit.
“I want you to be the first to fuck me.”
Your words shocked him. Be the first?
He momentarily stopped and looked down at you, “Y/n, have you never…” He let the question linger in the air.
“No.” You whispered, scared at what his reaction would be.
“And you want me to be the first?” He asked gaping at you.
“Yes.”
Draco felt something within him snap and he leaned forward to claim your lips, once again moving his hip to rub his cock along the lips of your pussy.
“You sure that’s what you want? Me to be the first to fuck you? To make you feel good, huh? I’m going to ruin you for anyone else.” He said hooking his hand around your neck and whispering the words in your ear.
“Yes please, I’ve wanted you for so long.” You moan at the feeling of his hand around your neck.
Smiling a devious smile, Draco drew back and gazed down at you.
He looked down to between your legs and took his cock in his hand to align his cock at the entrance of your pussy – which was wet and ready for him.
His gaze was back on you as he leaned forward and captured your lips in his, getting lost in the feeling of the kiss, your minded drifted away and in that moment, Draco thrust his hips forward.
You gasp into the kiss, but this doesn’t stop Draco as he gently and slowly rocks his hips back and forth against you.
The slight pain slowly disappears as you grow accustomed to his size and the feeling of being full.
“So big.” You mutter and look to him with furrowed brows.
Draco appreciated the comment as it drove him more to making you feel good.
“Yeah? You like my big cock in your tight pussy?” He teased further as his hands massaged your breasts.
You nodded in response to his question, not being able to answer. You were too concentrated at the feeling within yourself.
“Oh fuck.” You moaned out as he changed the angle and lifted your legs over his shoulders.
The pace in which he was moving at increased when you began to move your hips along with him.
“You feel so good baby, so tight and wet for me.” He spoke provocatively.
Draco found it harder to not cum as you clenched around him.
He momentarily moved away from you, causing his cock to slip out of you. He turned you over so that you were now on your tummy. You lethargically laid on your front as he lifted your ass up in the air and once again thrusted into your pussy.
“I like this position better, because I’m able to…” Before the words left his mouth you felt the spank of his hand on your ass.
The sting only caused your more pleasure.
“I’m gonna cum.” You said weakly into the sheets.
Draco smirked at your words, “Does me spanking you make you want to cum?” He asked mockingly.
Another spank was delivered to your ass and soon as found yourself moaning Draco’s name into the sheets as his hips stuttered against your hips till, he released himself inside you. The headboard at this point had been bouncing off the wall and causing a noise.
Although all Draco could hear were the moans and groans being made between the two of you. He kept thrusting into you, chasing the feeling of pleasure you both were feeling.
Long moments passed by as you and Draco moved around to be more comfortable.
“That was quite something.” You said gazing at him shyly.
“Definitely… we have a lot to talk about after this, because I’m not going to go back to ignoring each other after this project is done.” He stated looking at you seriously.
“I know, that’s the last thing I want.” You said kissing him.
“Besides, this isn’t something enemies would do.” You chuckle as he rolls his eyes.
Summary: Ten years ago, Draco was sure you were dead. But after receiving a letter from none other than you, his world is flipped upside down.
Pairing: Draco x Reader
Word Count:4k+
Genre: Fluff, a lil angsty
Requested:No, requests currently closed while I finish my sitting requests :)
Warnings:None
A/N: I know it’s been a while, and this is likely all over the place~ just something that’s been on my mind for a while and finally had some time to sit down and plot it out! Part 2?
The warmth of the fire can’t drive away the cold. It creeps in, starting from his toes and runs all the way to his chest. That cold that can only be associated with his own sadness. Draco sits in his favorite chair by the hearth, his eyes scanning the letter over and over again. Surely he’d seen this before.
the battle of hogwarts, except draco malfoy stands up to voldemort in the courtyard scene. (draco x reader) beware: big angst
trigger warning: violence, gore, major character death
‘And now is the time to declare yourself. Come forward and join us.’
A pause. Two words, spat out with venom into the cold morning air.
‘Or die.’
Draco fixes his gaze on the rubble before him as Voldemort’s serpent eyes pan the crowd. His body swims with the exhaustion of sleepless nights, while his mind is forced to stay alert to the danger that he is once again in. He doesn’t want to fight anymore.
‘Draco.’ His father’s rasp breaks the heavy silence. Heads turn to stare accusingly at him, and Draco feels a small flutter of hope that is replaced by a heavy weight in his chest as he realises the head he most longs to see is not there.
What if you’re dead?
He doesn’t want to think about it.
He would never forgive himself.
‘Draco.’ His father, again, this time more desperate. More heads turn to look, none of them yours.
Draco finally dares look up, his sight travelling past the cloaked figure that has haunted him for the past few years and landing on his father. Lucius Malfoy, with his bloodshot eyes, dishevelled robes and straggly blonde hair, is a sad imitation of his former self.
Draco hates him.
He hates Voldemort too, and his stupid movement. He doesn’t want to go.
But he is terrified, afraid of what he knows Voldemort is capable of, afraid of what he has seen in those long grisly days at Malfoy Manor. He sees the green light hitting Professor Snape’s colleague square in the chest and her falling with a sullen thud onto the wood. He sees the snake sliding up the table too, past his trembling hands, and opening its fanged mouth and devouring her whole, blood and bones and guts covering where he used to eat his dinners as a child. He sees his aunt’s blade opening up Hermione Granger’s arm.
When his mother - his mother, who he still loves, even after everything - speaks his name, softly like she had done when he was younger and less scarred, Draco’s resolve disappears. Everything else blurs until all he can see is her platinum blonde head, and he lifts one foot and takes a step onto the rubble in front of him, and then another, until a hand reaches out from behind him and grabs him by the wrist.
And there you are, weak from the night’s fighting, tears staining your cheeks, but with eyes as bright as stars because you are alive, wonderously, gloriously alive.
‘Draco.’
For the third time, someone speaks his name, and Draco takes in the sight of you, who he’s loved since fourth year, who he’s continued to love despite your ending it due to his involvement with Voldemort. Evidently you must still have some feeling left towards him, otherwise you wouldn’t be doing this.
He’d looked for you in the battle, before and after the fire in the Room of Requirement, heart leaping when he caught sight of people who could’ve been you, but weren’t. This went on for the rest of night, and in the heat and terror and waves of dead bodies that were too many to count, Draco had slowly given up hope.
'I thought you were dead.’
'Draco, don’t do this.’
Your hand continues to grip his wrist tightly, nails digging into soft skin. People are staring, and Narcissa Malfoy calls once again for her son, the sharp edge of fear creeping into her tone.
'I don’t want to,’ he chokes.
'Then don’t,’ you whisper. 'You’re better than this.’ You indicate with a shaking hand towards Voldemort and his followers. 'You’re better than him, than them -’
'I’m not.’
'You are. And - and you wanna know why?’
Draco stands still. The only part of him that moves are his grey eyes, stormy with turmoil and guilt. Then he begins to turn his head to look back at his parents. You reach out and place a trembling hand on his cheek, and gently guide his eyes to stare back into yours.
'Because they’ve made their choices,’ you say. 'They chose, some longer ago than others, to hurt people because of who they were. They chose to inflict pain. They chose to ruin lives. They’ve already chosen the path they want to take, and have covered a lot already. Most of them even seem to enjoy it.’
Grey eyes, stormy eyes, eyes beginning to fill with tears -
'I don’t think you would enjoy it.’
'Draco!’ Narcissa and Lucius, together this time.
'My parents,’ he whimpers, sounding like a little boy again.
You keep your hand pressed to his cheek. You can feel his blood pumping under his skin: warm, hot, pureblood, blood which isn’t at all different from anyone else’s.
'This is your choice. Your parents cannot make it for you.’
A grey sky above a grey castle covered in grey rubble, Harry lying dead in Hagrid’s arms -
'They made theirs a long time ago. Don’t suffer for them anymore. God knows you’ve suffered enough.’
You take your palm off his cheek; you’ve said all you can say. Draco is free now.
'Draco.’ A fourth speaker sounds his name in a soft snarl, and this time it is Voldemort himself. He is growing impatient - he is not making a request. It is a command, for Draco to decide. For Draco to choose.
He pulls his eyes away from yours. You don’t know what he is going to do. You have never been able to read him, not really, not even when you look into his soul through grey windows.
’Draco…’
A final warning. A sharp intake of breath from the crowd, and strangled screams are ripped from both Lucius and Narcissa’s throats.
The man turns around, and looks deep into Lord Voldemort’s snake eyes.
Draco Malfoy is shaking with terror, but he somehow manages to keep his voice steady.
'No.’
A gasp from the crowd, an angry hiss from Voldemort, and Lucius Malfoy begins to plead.
'My lord, he is just a boy - he does not understand what he is saying - the gravity of his words -’
Voldemort ignores him. He continues to stare at Draco, who stands his ground despite wanting the earth to give out underneath him. He imagines the flash of green light again, the dull thud, the snake -
’What did you say?’
The Slytherin common room, the thrill of Quidditch matches, Butterbeers at the Three Broomsticks, laughter with you -
’No.’
Narcissa Malfoy speaks, her soft voice brave in the cold air. 'My lord - please.’
Voldemort raises the Elder Wand -
'My lord, please!’
I’m so sorry, mother. I had to do this. I had to do it
You grab Draco’s sweaty hand and quickly lace your fingers with his, because if he is going to die, surely you will too, and you want to go with him. You want to go with the man who made the right choice, if only at the very end.
Voldemort begins to say the spell and you grip Draco’s hand tighter, but just as you’ve prepared to die something in the Dark Lord’s face changes and he whips around.
The bolt of green light hits Narcissa Malfoy square in the chest, and she falls with a sullen thud onto the cold stone floor.
Someone screams. Draco lets go of your hand and runs to his mother, Voldemort’s inhuman laugh echoing in both your ears -
This will hurt him far more than him dying ever could.
You want to run to Draco but your legs have turned to jelly and you can’t breathe. All you can comprehend is the sound of him howling, and you’ve never heard anything like it in your life. You shove your hands over your ears to no avail. Raw, ragged, animal screams of pain sound out in the courtyard of Hogwarts.
Guilt and heartbreak descend upon you, and they’re heavy, so heavy that it hurts. You sink down under the gazes of the onlookers, the vision of three blonde heads, one of them lolling lifelessly on the stone - oh god - blocked from your view. Not even Harry jumping from Hagrid’s arms and the chaos that ensues cause you to rise from your sitting position.
Eventually you feel strong grips under your arms and Neville Longbottom pulls you into the Great Hall, putting the grey courtyard out of your sight.
final one! i hate this update sm but thanks for reading. read ‘the leaky cauldron’ and ‘illicit affairs’ before embarking.
trigger warning: ptsd, nightmares, alcoholism, violence, trauma, major character death
The shadow covers me The sky above a blaze that only lovers see Amy Winehouse, ‘Tears Dry On Their Own’
Ron looks like someone’s punched him in the gut. The anger and betrayal and pain that burn through his eyes make Hermione wish the ground would swallow her whole.
It’s over, it’s over, my friends, Ron, Harry, everyone and everything I fought for, it’s over, it’s finished -
It’s Draco who speaks first. ‘Weasley, listen -’
‘Shutup,Malfoy, you bastard -’ Spit flies from Ron’s mouth, and tears well in his honest eyes. He’s reaching for his wand -
‘No!’ Hermione screams. In her panic, she lets the bedsheet that she’s been clutching to herself fall. Gooseflesh covers her body but she’s warm from embarrassment as she gathers the sheet up again. Ron’s eyes don’t stray from her face, not for one second. They look so lost, and so sad, and oh god, what have we done?
Draco’s fumbling into a pair of scruffy trousers.
‘Hermione -’ Ron’s voice cracks.
She’s crying now. ‘Ron, I’m so sorry -’
‘How long?’
She can’t answer, because she knows the answer is toolong.
‘It was when you started staying here overnight, wasn’t it?’
‘What’s it to you, Weasley -’ All of a sudden, he’s the same Draco that picked on her at school.
‘SHUT UP, MALFOY!’ Ron roars, brandishing his wand, and suddenly Draco’s whipped his out too, and they’re going to fight, they’re going to kill each other, and it’s all my fault -
‘NO!’ Hermione screams again. Ron drops his wand a little at this, and Draco, now back to herDraco, touches her shoulder gently. His hand is shaking.
‘We can leave, Granger. We could leave this all behind, us two together, I know you’re not happy -’
‘Oh, it’s Grangernow, is it?’ Ron yells. ‘No more MUDBLOOD?’
Draco flinches, and Ron notices. He laughs bitterly. ‘You might - you might feel bad about it now, but that doesn’t mean you can just erase all the hateful things you said to her -’
‘Ron!’ Hermione’s voice is high and shrill. The tears are a waterfall now, and Draco’s hand is still on her shoulder, and she never wants it to leave.
Ron’s face crumples. ‘Why him?’He whispers. ‘When the waitress who worked here told me, I didn’t - I didn’t believe it. But I had to see for myself - Hermione, why? He was horribleto you for years - he fought for fucking VOLDEMORT, for fuck’s sake!’
Oh god oh god oh god
Hermione pushes the urge to throttle the bloody waitress out of her mind and focuses on the matter at hand.
‘Granger.’ His hand’s digging into her shoulder. It will leave a mark to accompany all the other ones he’s left on her.
Ron’s face is red and blotchy and he’s shoving his hands to his face like he can’t believe what’s happening and it’s awful it’s awful -
‘Hermione, I know things haven’t been… amazing between us - maybe we were just better off being friends, I don’t know - but for you to be fucking Draco bloody Malfoy -’
Aforementioned gently places Hermione’s robes in front of her. She wants nothing more than for him to hold her and never let go, but she couldn’t do that to Ron.
Like you’ve not done enough to him already -
Draco’s voice is a whisper. ‘Come on, Hermione, let’s go.’
‘You fucking - STUPEFY!’
‘PROTEGO!’
Ron’s spell rebounds back towards him. He flies across the room - and there’s a sickening crack as his head hits the wall.
Hermione screams. The blood drains from Draco’s face. He runs to Ron, who’s head is at a funny angle.
She’s sick with fear, all over the crisp white sheets.
‘Weasley - Weasley, are you alright -’
Hermione wipes the vomit from her mouth and crawls over to the two men she loves.
You said loves -
Yes I did.
Draco’s desperately feeling for Ron’s pulse, and he’s sobbing now too.
‘Weasley, wake up, please,wake up -’
‘RON!’
After what feels like hours, Draco gives up feeling for a heartbeat and lies Ron on the dusty floor. He starts to push down hard onto his chest, so hard that Hermione’s scared he’ll break Ron’s ribcage -
What does his ribcage matter anymore when he’s -
She clamps a sweaty hand over her mouth.
Draco’s still pushing but it’s not working, so he tries blocking Ron’s nose and breathing into his mouth, and when that doesn’t work, Hermione tries instead.
There’s only so much you can do -
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UPPPPPPP
She tries all the healing spells she ever learnt at Hogwarts and read about in her textbooks.
It feels like the sun has set by the time Hermione gives up.
Draco pulls her into his chest. They cry together until the sky above’s ablaze with reds and oranges and pinks.
They don’t tell Harry the truth. Actually, Hermione doesn’t tell Harry the truth. As far as he knows, Draco is still hiding somewhere after the judges at his trial allowed him to escape Azkaban.
What Hermione does tell Harry and Ron’s family is similar to the truth. She says Ron died from a head injury after his spell rebounded while fighting a criminal; he was an Auror, after all. Her and Draco agreed that it was the easiest choice. Maybe the Sorting Hat was wrong, and she should have been put in Slytherin.
It’s a possibility that they’ll be found out. Hermione doesn’t care. She’s going to tell Harry the truth, one day. She knows she owes it to Ron to do so.
For now, she says that she needs to spend some time away from it all. Travel a bit. Harry understands. His kind eyes and round glasses and the childhood memories that cling to him make Hermione want to pull her hair out.
She dreams of the Great Hall at Hogwarts. The ceiling is bewitched to look like the night sky, and the tables are piled high with food. She’s laughing with Harry and Ron. She dreams of Bellatrix opening her arm with a knife, and Ron coming to save her while Draco looks away. She dreams of obliviating the waitress, and wanting to punch her face in. Draco holds her back as she kicks and screams.
He’s always there, and Hermione’s glad. If there’s one thing she hates now, it’s being left alone, and she knows it’s the same for him. They move from muggle home to muggle home where there’s very little chance they’ll be recognised, constantly checking which family goes on holiday when. Draco talks about breaking into his father’s vault at Gringotts and stealing some of the Malfoy family fortune so that they have more to live on. Hermione doesn’t know whether he’s joking or not.
He’s there for the nightmares and cold sweats that Hermione’s starting to accept will never go away. She holds his clammy hands as he vomits into a toilet bowl when the memories of Voldemort’s visits to Malfoy Manor rear their ugly heads. She reprimands him when he makes a throwaway comment about muggleborns, because even after his change of heart, he still has so much left to learn. Hermione tries to teach him, and he listens.
Sometimes they argue, and sometimes their fights are as petty as the ones they used to have at Hogwarts about who was top of the class. But sometimes there’s screaming, and throwing things, and Hermione will tell Draco it’s his fault Ron’s dead. Sometimes he’ll hex her, but she always deflects his spells. Sometimes he’ll storm out and won’t be home for hours, but just as Hermione’s finished crying herself hoarse he’ll stumble in, blind drunk. Sometimes this will make her cry even more. Sometimes she’ll go and kiss him anyway.
Weeks turn into months, and months turn into years. Draco complains about the muggle way of life, even though Hermione knows he finds some of their customs fascinating. It isn’t as easy for her to admit, but she misses the wizarding world too.
She dreams of Draco and Ron, but she only wakes up to one of them, now. The white blonde hair that used to mean insults and torment when she saw it across a school classroom is now a welcome sight on the pillow next to hers, even if that sight fills her with guilt every second of every day.
author’s note: this was originally intended to be a oneshot but i’m feeling motivated to write rn so this is going to be a three part series:))
a chance meeting in the leaky cauldron, where hermione has been working to try to forget the horrors of the second wizarding war, leads to a series of illicit affairs. includes: much angst and implied smut. read ‘the leaky cauldron’ before embarking.
You showed me colours You know I can’t see With anyone else Taylor Swift, ‘illicit affairs’
They go upstairs, into the spare bedroom that Hermione has just told Draco about. Skin meets skin and tears mingle and the night passes in euphoric highs and snivelling, guilty lows. But Draco always kisses the tears away, and Hermione repays the favour.
When she wakes up, her head pounds. Dust particles float across the room, sprinkled around like icing sugar, and Hermione feels like she’s awakening from a dream. She hasn’t slept this well in months.
But someone’s breathing gently next to her. Lazy rays of morning sun soften the bags under Draco Malfoy’s eyes, and then the flood gates open, and Hermione remembers.
For some unknown, godforsaken reason, she wants to curl up next to him.
Tears prick at Hermione’s eyes. When she sees the dark, winding smudge on Draco’s forearm, they start to fall in streams, and soon she’s shoving a hand over her mouth as she sobs so that the Death Eater she just fuckeddoesn’t wake up.
Why do you care whether he wakes up or not? Why does Draco Malfoy getting his beauty sleep concernyou so -
Shut up shut up shut up
Hermione cries until she can’t anymore. Then -
Ron Ron Ron Ron Ron Ron
Ah, yes. I was wondering when we’d get to the man that you just cheated on.
Oh god oh god oh god shut up please shut up
Don’t you think he might be wondering why you didn’t come home last night?
Hermione stumbles out of bed, frantically throwing her clothes on, and she’s almost at the door when she looks back, she doesn’t know why, she can’t help it.
He’s still asleep. His white blonde hair is tousled, and his lips look soft and warm.
I thought he hated me.
You know what they say. There’s a thin line between -
Hermione slams the door behind her, like that will make the doubts go away.
When she finally reaches the house that Ron and her share, she’s panting and her legs burn from sprinting; if her crying didn’t wake Draco up, the door slam definitely did, and she can’t risk being there to face the consequences of their actions.
She pushes the door open, cringing at how much noise it makes. Maybe Ron will still be asleep and he won’t even have noticed she was missing and it will all be ok -
‘Hermione?’ His voice is a croak.
Ron’s standing in the hall, wearing a dressing gown. He’s clutching a can of beer in one hand and his face is red and blotchy, like he’s been crying.
‘Where were you?’
Hermione goes to him and takes his hand in hers, her heart thumping against her ribcage. ‘My shift - my shift at the Cauldron overran. I was so tired that I fell asleep there - Ron, I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. Please don’t be angry.’
Some Gryffindor you are, lying to your best friend.
Ron doesn’t relax. ‘But I went to the Cauldron when you weren’t back for ages, and I didn’t see you there anywhere. I mean, it was past closing time so I could only look through the windows, but -’
She wants to scratch her eyes out at the waves of relief which wash over her.
‘The spare room,’ Hermione babbles. ‘There’s a spare room upstairs. I just thought I’d go for a quick lie down, but I fell asleep. You know how it is.’
Ron breathes a sigh, and pulls her into a hug. He feels safe and warm. Even if their relationship isn’t working, she knows that he will always care for her as a friend. Hermione wants to cry and cry.
‘Thank Merlin. You don’t know how scared I was, Hermione. For a minute I thought - God, I don’t know what I thought.’ Ron laughs shakily. ‘I thought maybe some fanatic who won’t accept Voldemort’s dead had found out where you worked or something. I thought that a Death Eater had got you.’
Hermione balls her hands into fists, her nails digging deep into soft palms.
The whole day, she’s terrified that Ron will sense the smell of him.Even when she changes her clothes, it still clings to her. If Hermione closed her eyes, she could feel him above her, behind her, inside her.
She wants to close her eyes, but she won’t let herself.
The day passes in a nervous blur, and soon it’s time for her shift at the Cauldron.
I need to go. They’ll wonder why I haven’t turned up.
Why don’t you just pretend to be ill?
I - I could.
But you don’t want to.
Shut it. With any luck, he’ll - he’ll have left already.
He hasn’t left. Of course he hasn’t.
Hermione cleans the bar and serves butterbeer and chats to customers while Draco sits in the corner, hiding his face and downing glass after glass of firewhiskey. The sun sets in the sky, splashing red across a darkening canvas, and Hermione finds herself taking sips of customer’s drinks until eventually she begins pouring her own.
The waitress who served Draco last night doesn’t arrive at her scheduled time, but Hermione doesn’t worry - the alcohol that she’s knocking back won’t let her. A dizzy memory waltzes through her mind, reminding her of how she pointed out the way to the spare bedroom to Draco, who went up by himself, unnoticed. Hermione remembers telling the waitress that she was done for the night, and leaving out the front door. The backstairs that led up to the room where Draco waited were slippy and frosted over.
An hour or so later, Hermione stumbles up those same stairs, swaying in the cold winter air and hating herself.
Draco’s touch is warm.
Weeks pass. Hermione spends less time with Ron, because she can’t bear to look into his sweet face after what she’s done. The times that they see Harry, it’s hard to look into his eyes, too. She tells them that the nightmares have been getting worse, so she wants to start working later shifts at the Cauldron, and when the pub closes, she’ll stay to clean up. She knows it upsets Ron but she does it anyway, each footstep further away from their home sending a painful jolt to her heart. Hermione serves the customers, she drinks, she cries in the bathroom. She tells the waitress that she’s going home, now. She staggers up the stairs, and tries to block out the voices in her head as Draco fucks her.
She wonders if he has doubts, too.
She asks him.
‘Yes,’ he says. The first silvery wisps of dawn are creeping through the window, and his voice is even deeper from sleep. It makes Hermione’s heart throb.
‘Then why do we do this?’ She whispers.
He pauses. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Draco, when did - when did you start feeling like this, for me?’ The words come rushing out, and Hermione can’t stop them.
Draco stares at her. He swallows. ‘I don’t know about that, either. All I know is that -’ He sounds like he’s almost choking on his speech. ‘All I know is that one day, I saw you - you weren’t really doing anything, just sitting at the Gryffindor table with Weasley and Potter. And you were laughing. And just then, I felt this sort of - this sort of warmthin my chest.’
Hermione knows that feeling all too well, now.
‘And I hated myself for it. Because all my life, my father had taught me that muggleborns… you know.’ Grey eyes flood with guilt. ‘I’m sorry for that, by the way.’
Draco apologises a lot to Hermione now, about what went on between them at Hogwarts. It’s another thing she loves about him.
Loves - you said loves -
What? No, no I didn’t -
‘And me hating myself… it made me angrier at you. Like it was your fault, or something. Even if it hurt me to be horrible to you - I still felt like I had to do it.’
It seems Draco is more well-versed in the practise of self-hatred than Hermione ever was.
‘But after what happened with Voldemort, I knew I couldn’t live that kind of life. Which, again, I’m… I’m sorry for choosing in the first place.’
‘It’s alright, Draco,’ Hermione murmurs. It isn’t, really. She touches the scar on her arm. But she’d forgive him anything, anything.
What’s happened to me? If the house elves who’s freedom I campaigned so fervently for could see me now, they’d laugh.
Draco lies back onto the pillow, and laces his fingers with hers. The Dark Mark touches Mudblood’s jagged scrawl. Hermione gives into temptation, and nestles her bushy head into his chest. A silence falls, as soft as new snow. Hermione’s eyelids flutter closed.
There’s footsteps up the stairs.
Draco’s head snaps up. He’s heard them too.
‘Hide under the bed, Draco -’
Too late. There’s no lock on this door and it’s being pushed open and the waitress has discovered their hiding place -
author’s note: first of all just wanted to say if anyone still cares that i’m so sorry about the joker fic, ik i haven’t updated in months - i started writing a new update but still don’t have any ideas on how to progress it:(( writer’s block sucks.
this is just a quick dramione one shot bc i’ve been in a pottah mood lately. also, isn’t it amazing how daniel radcliffe wrote the hp books?? jk rowling? i don’t know her.
the second wizarding war is over, and voldemort has been defeated. for hermione granger, however, the scars remain. suffering from ptsd and with her relationship with ron on the rocks, hermione has taken to working regular shifts at the leaky cauldron to keep her mind off things. one night, she comes across a familiar face. (draco x hermione) beware: much angst, but with a healthy dose of fluff at the end.
trigger warning: ptsd, nightmares, alcoholism, mentions of violence, trauma
I don’t never want to drink again. I just, I just need a friend. Amy Winehouse, ‘Rehab’
The flickering glow of recently lit candles bathes the Leaky Cauldron in a dim light. Outside, darkness has fallen.
Hermione hates the night. It reminds her that her shift is almost over, and that she will soon have to leave the dull comfort of the pub to face a crumbling relationship and, later, nightmares in garish colours of black and red. That’s if she manages to sleep at all.
She sighs, rubbing her tired eyes. Ron is a kind man and her best friend, but they just weren’t cut out to be lovers. What started as a tiny, nagging doubt has now become an incessant worry of Hermione’s - one that she is sure Ron can sense, too. But they care too much for each other to at least not try to make it work.
She wonders who will break the news first.
Hermione tries to push the uncomfortable thoughts out of her mind - like that’s ever worked before - and sets to methodically scrubbing the bar. Small, circular motions, one, two, one, two - you could just as easily use magic, you know - shut up, one, two…
The door opens, and someone enters. Hermione’s head snaps up. A new customer, thank god, something to do, someone to talk to - the Cauldron is nearly empty, at this hour.
The new arrival wears a hooded black robe and looks at the ground as he walks, so Hermione can’t see his face. His gait is timid and suspicious, like he’s scared someone will lash out at him - but he’s looking at Hermione like he recognises her, and as he turns away, she sees a flash of platinum blonde hair under the hood -
It can’t be him.
She hasn’t seen him in close to a year.
The man who she thinks is Draco Malfoy sits down at a table, as far away from Hermione as possible.
A waitress, the only other person aside from Hermione who’s working tonight, approaches him and asks if he’d like a drink. He murmurs something in reply - ‘I’m sorry, I can’t hear you’ - another murmur - ‘It’s the hood - if you’d take it off, then I could hear’ - a sigh, and then the hood comes off with a resigned yank,and the waitress gasps.
It is him.
‘Get me something strong - not a butterbeer.’
‘Y - yes.’
She scurries off.
Hermione stares at the boy who bullied her mercilessly back at Hogwarts - at the man who watched as Bellatrix Lestrange carved mudbloodinto her arm - at the prisoner who both she and the rest of the wizarding world had last seen on trial.
‘Draco Lucius Malfoy, you have been charged with aiding and abetting the war crimes and crimes against humanity committed by one Tom Marvolo Riddle and his followers, and the attempted murder of one Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore -’
People always used to say about Harry that there wouldn’t be a child alive who didn’t know his name.
Hermione never thought that the day would come when she’d compare Harry Potter to Draco Malfoy.
He was lucky to escape Azkaban, but he looks like he’s just left.
Draco’s face is gaunt, with hollowed-out cheeks. There’s not much left of the proud, pureblooded aristocrat in him, except for maybe the white blonde hair which is as it’s always been, perhaps just a little longer than usual. His eyes look empty and sad.
He glances over at Hermione, but when he sees her looking, quickly looks away. The waitress returns with his drink.
You should talk to him -
He doesn’t deserve it. He fought for the monster who tried to wipe out my whole kind, for God’s sake -
But did he really want to? You know what his father is like.
That’s - that’s not an excuse. And anyway, he wants to be left alone. We’d just start arguing again, like we did back at school.
Are you scared?
…
What, of Malfoy the bloody ferret?!
Hermione tries to block out the voice, and continues to scrub furiously at the bar. When she dares look up, she sees that Draco has finished his drink. He orders another one, downing it quickly. And another. And another.
God, how much does he drink?
What if he passes out? Then it’ll be all your fault for not stopping him when you could.
Shut up. I don’t care what happens to him, anyway.
Still scared?
Shut it.
Some Gryffindor you are.
That does it. With shaking hands, Hermione pours herself a butterbeer - you’ll need it - and walks to the table where Draco is sitting, slumped over his fourth drink. He looks up at her with bloodshot eyes, and she instantly regrets her decision.
‘Ah, Granger. I was wondering when you’d decide to grace us with your presence.’ He’s drunk, and his voice is deeper, deep like a muggle who smokes too many cigarettes.
Hermione’s normally brilliant mind goes blank, so she responds the only way she knows.
‘Shut up, Malfoy.’
Oh, for fucks sake. At least Ron and Harry would be proud.
Draco stares at her. For a moment, Hermione’s terrified that he’s going to start shouting, like alcoholics always do in films.
Oh god, he can’t be an alcoholic, can he?
She doesn’t know why that thought upsets her.
But he doesn’t shout. He starts to laugh. A loud, throaty laugh that makes the few people left in the Cauldron turn and stare. He sounds like he hasn’t laughed in years, which may, Hermione thinks, actually be the case. Then she starts to laugh too, at the absurdity of the whole situation. When they’ve cackled themselves sore, Draco motions to the chair opposite him.
‘Come on, Granger. Sit down. I need someone to talk to.’
So Hermione sits. An awkward silence settles, heavy with the years of not-so-pleasant history between them. She tries to break the ice.
‘How are you?’
She can hear the voice in her head laughing at her. Draco’s lips are pulled into a smirk.
‘Always so polite.’
Hermione takes a shaky gulp of butterbeer, and its warm burn gives her a jolt of much needed confidence.
‘So you’re saying I should be rude to you?’
‘After everything that’s happened, I’m surprised that you’re not.’
She doesn’t know what to say to that.
‘Anyway, to answer your first question,’ says Draco, ‘I am how I look. Bloody terrible. You seem to be doing pretty well for yourself, though.’
Hermione scoffs. He must not be a very good judge of character.
‘I take it then that you’re not,’ says Draco.
Bitterness bubbles up inside of her, like the potions they used to brew for Snape. Is he still just as ignorant as he used to be?
‘When you’ve risked your life and the lives of those you love countless times to fight a man who wants to murder all the muggleborns on the face on this Earth, you tend to have a few problems afterwards.’
Draco flinches.
‘Listen, Granger, about that -’
But Hermione can’t keep the anger hidden anymore. At first, she thought that not talking about it with anyone, not even Ron or Harry, would make it go away, but -
‘Oh, you’re sorry? If you care to remember, you called me a mudblood hundredsof times - so many times I can’t even count - and then you worked for Voldemort, and tried to kill Dumbledore, and watched as your fucking aunt hacked at me like an animal for the fun of it -’
A sob breaks through, and Hermione looks down at her glass. She’s drunk more than she thought.
A lone tear slivers down her nose and falls, plop, into the butterbeer.
‘Granger -’
‘What?’
Draco flinches again, like she’s slapped him.
‘I’m sorry.’
He sounds like a little boy again. Hermione remembers lying in bed in her second year dormitory, the day that Draco first called her mudblood.She remembers crying, wishing he’d say to her what he’s just said now. It means so much, but at the same time, it means nothing.
She sniffs back an onslaught of tears. ‘Sorry won’t make the nightmares go away.’
A cold chill passes between them.
‘I have nightmares too,’ he says.
You bloody bastard, this isn’t about you, Hermione wants to scream. But Draco’s eyes are cold and haunted, so she lets him talk. Some things never change.
‘They’re always at the Manor, or at Hogwarts, but with all the bodies from the battle -’
He drinks more from his glass, like the alcohol will wash the memories away.
‘And there’s a snake, but with Voldemort’s red eyes.’ Draco’s whispering, now. ‘And it slides up the table towards me - and - and my family is watching - and I can’t move - and then it opens… opens its mouth.’
A little talk - girl to girl - she’s lying on the cold stone floor - her sleeve is ripped up, and her bare arm feels naked in the cold air - but the cold is nothing compared to the pain - it hurts, hurts so much - Draco is trying to look away, but he’s not doing anything - why, why won’t you do anything, you bastard -
‘I dream of you too, sometimes.’ His chin wobbles. ‘Of my aunt, and - and what happened.’
‘What she did to me.’ Hermione can feel the scar on her arm, the jagged indents of the knife -
He nods, trembling. ‘What she did to you.’ Another gulp from the glass.
‘You shouldn’t drink so much.’
‘It makes the pain go away.’
They sit in silence for a few moments. The butterbeer is making Hermione’s head swim.
‘Why are you here, Draco?’
‘I wanted a drink.’
‘No, I mean -’
‘I left the Manor after my trial. Too many… memories.’
‘But didn’t your father -’
‘Try to stop me - yes. Told me I’d be forsaking the Malfoy name and money if I left.’ He breathes out shakily. ‘I left anyway.’
Hermione is shocked. ‘I thought family was everything to you Slytherins.’
A small ghost of a smile. ‘Not everything.’ It falls again. ‘Leaving my mother was hard, though.’
Hermione always thinks of Narcissa Malfoy as a stuck-up, unfeeling sort of woman. But she’s infinitely better than Draco’s father.
‘So where do you live now?’
‘I don’t live anywhere.’ Draco sees the look on Hermione’s face. ‘I know, a Malfoy living without his family riches - it was hard to get used to, I must admit. Especially sleeping in pub toilets. But I’m too scared to get a -’
‘A job?’ Hermione sees how embarrassed he looks.
‘Yes, for - for obvious reasons. I’ve tried twice before - but everyone knows who I am, you see, and no-one really wants to - you know. This is the first time I managed to pluck up the courage to come in here. I certainly never expected to find you. Why are you here, by the way? I heard,’ he swallows, ‘you live with Weasley now.’ There’s an odd look on Draco’s face.
‘I do,’ says Hermione. ‘It’s just - I don’t know. The routine of working here takes my mind off of everything. Like you said - if I don’t keep busy, the memories - they’re too much.’
‘I understand,’ murmurs Draco.
And he does.
A strange feeling takes over Hermione.
I can’t believe I’m about to do this.
‘Listen, Malfoy. There’s a - there’s a spare room, upstairs, here. With a bed. If you wanted to -’
Draco looks like he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing.
‘You’d let me stay here?’ he whispers.
‘Well, no-one uses it anymore, so, y - yes. But it might be a bit dusty. And you can’t work here - because I don’t think being around -’ She motions to their glasses. ‘I don’t think it’s good for you.’
And suddenly, Draco Malfoy starts to cry.
Hermione stares at him, open-mouthed.
‘Why are you being so kind to me?’ His shoulders rack with sobs. ‘You should - Hermione, you should hateme for what I’ve done to you.’
You called me Hermione.
‘I - I don’t deserve -’
For some reason, her heart constricts, and her breath hitches in her throat. Hermione leans forward, swaying a little from the alcohol, and puts her hand on Draco’s arm. With a chill, she realises that the Dark Mark lurks underneath the grubby cloth.
Draco jolts back, shocked at her sudden gesture. For a moment, Hermione’s terrified that he’s going to pull away - but he doesn’t, and melts into her touch.
She remembers, all those years ago, seeing Draco with his father at Flourish and Blotts. She knew then that this was a man who’d never hugged his son. Back then, Hermione couldn’t fathom a life without the warm hugs that her muggle parents so frequently gave her.
She can feel Draco’s blood pumping beneath his skin. Slowly, he repays the debt, and Hermione feels the heavy weight of his hand curve around her arm. Fingers trace a ghostly touch over her scar. He’s stopped sobbing, but his grey eyes are still wet. They remind Hermione of misty hillsides on an the early morning. Salty tears crystallise on beautiful black lashes, and his face is flushed.
He presses his lips to hers. It’s soft, and a sweet hurt.
Summary: PART 10 ! of Draco accidentally falling in love with reader during his sixth year (HBP) and going into the start of the battle of Hogwarts hoping to have reader by his side at the end of it now that it’s all over.
“It’s in Carrow’s office?” He asked, his nose instinctively scrunching when he said his name as if it disgusted him to even mention the man. You nodded as a wordless response in fear that Draco would be able to hear the slight tremble in your voice after a lump at the back of your throat had begun growing at the thought of going back to that awful place. It clouded your mind with darkness and echoing screams of pain as Bellatrix sat over you with her nails piercing into your skin while she demanded answers from you that you refused to give her.
You were silent as you trailed behind him, eyes trained on the top of his muddy silver hair with him nearly pulling you by your hand from how sluggishly you were dragging your feet up the stairs to the floor where everything truly went up in flames. It was almost as if he could sense your distress when you finally reached the undesired floor because as soon as you stepped foot onto the gravel and dirt-filled stone, his arm was wrapping itself snugly around your waist as he leaned over you to press a soft kiss into your temple.
“I’m sorry,” he mutters quietly while his mouth was still beside your ear.
“For what?” You respond just as faintly.
“For what they did to you.” He stops you in the middle of the corridor, his eyes darting towards the end of it where the office was just around the corner. “If I knew, Merlin I’d-“
"You didn’t know,” you frown, interrupting him as soon as you noticed his brow starting to furrow. “And it’s done with now. Besides, I finished what he couldn’t.”
“Yes, you did.” He answers with a fleeting small smile, a hidden proudness behind his words even though he half-heartedly tried to hide it. “But that still doesn’t make it alright. Are you sure you’re okay being here?”
You let out a deep breath before nodding up at him, forcing on a brave face so that this would be over with and you’d be reunited with your wand and on to face the next challenge that was waiting for you on the main floor.
“I’m fine, let’s go,” you say quickly. You grab onto the sleeve of his dress shirt and continue down the hall with him, entirely oblivious to the large statue standing tall at the far end of the way, right outside the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room. Hanging upside down from the top of the statue by a thick piece of rope was Amycus, bloodied and bruised and very obviously frustrated. You didn’t see him, but Draco did, and before you could notice the presence of the man who has shaken your reality with desolation and agony, you were being moved hastily towards the door of the room where your wand was lost in.
“I’ll meet you inside, give me a second,” he urged as he opened the door for you and continued to gently try to shove you inside. You turned to give him a questioning look, wondering why he unexpectedly was becoming so antsy in getting you inside. He stared back at you with a feeble pout and his eyebrows creased, a clear sign that whatever he was up to; he didn’t want you to be around for it.
“Fine,” you mumbled, forcing yourself into the poorly lit room to begin your search.
It felt sickening and nauseating being in the room again. Images of the painful night passed by in your head like a nightmare that you were made to relive as soon as you walked in. You wanted to reach out for Draco again, looking back towards the doorway where you thought he would be standing but he wasn’t and the room felt emptier than it did before. You walked towards the door, holding on to the stone wall to keep you from collapsing and peeking out from behind it to see if you could spot the waves of silver hair nearby doing whatever it was that he was so adamant about keeping hidden from you.
You watched as he walked down the corridor briskly, wholly focused on something or rather someone as he moved like he was on a mission with his wand gripped tightly in his right hand.
Draco swore he was seeing red blind his vision, rage coursing through his veins as he came closer to the hanged man. He squatted down in front of him when he finally reached him, his forearms resting over his knees and twiddling around his wand in his hands with the utmost feeling of satisfaction from the sight in front of him.
The man who constantly berated and belittled him and his family, the man who made it his goal to make his life a living hell inside and out of Hogwarts, and worst of all, he was the same man who tortured and kidnapped his lover on multiple occasions now. The man who went out of his way to ruin people.
He was nothing but a fragment of what he was only hours ago, defeated and physically almost unrecognizable if it wasn’t for his murderous beady eyes and permanently scowling mouth.
“What? Are you going to kill me now, boy?” Amycus questioned sarcastically. “Everyone knows you’re too weak. Go ahead, prove them wrong.”
:readmore:
He gave in to the itching to press his wand against Carrow’s throat, letting the hawthorn tip dig harshly into his artery. The killing curse was ready to roll off his tongue and put an infinite end to the destruction Amycus brought. He wanted it more than anything, to be the one who took him out, but as the idea became more realistic with each passing millisecond and with his hand starting to tremble, he knew he couldn’t do it. It didn’t matter how much he wanted to, how much he deserved it; he couldn’t.
“I knew you couldn’t,” Amycus croaked once Draco’s wand moved away from his throat.
“I’m not like you,” he mutters bitterly. “I’m not a murderer.”
Amycus’ words were a broken record to him, the same phrases being repeating over and over again like a never-ending torturous cycle of all his biggest insecurities enlaced within a few remarks. If it was a year ago, maybe even a few months ago, or weeks - he would have believed his insults. Just like he always did when they were fired at him, he doubted himself and his character, his strength and skills. But he was growing tired of giving in to his struggles, of giving in to false beliefs.
"Is blood traitor the only insult anyone’s got?” The classic sneer on Draco’s face was one he always used to wear, his blood boiling even further as he stared down at Amycus’ careless expression. Even if he was hung upside down, body battered and bruised, his evil spirits never left him.
“It’s the only one that matters,” he replied. “You think you got yourself all sorted out now? You think those people down there would welcome you with open arms knowing where your family’s loyalties lie? You’re looking for someone to blame for your troubles, blame that foul muggle-loving darling of yours. I was only ever trying to help you.”
“Help?” He let out a disbelieving scoff mixed with a short chuckle, “is that what you call threatening the lives of the people I love?”
As you watched from afar, gnawing at your bottom lip anxiously while grasping the doorway in fear that in any second the script could flip and it would be Draco who was in danger. You wanted to intervene, you could see Carrow’s eyes darting around the corridor, switching gazes between you and the blond raging over him and you were scared that evil would conquer and he’d somehow find a way to hurt the two of you without either of you expecting it.
“It doesn’t matter what I tell you anymore, you’re lost.”
It was Carrow’s sheer tone of confidence that pushed Draco over the edge he was teetering off of. He stood up from his kneeling position without wasting another breath. Amycus Carrow was purely wicked and there was no point in trying to make conversation with him.
The interaction just solidified Draco’s wrath, and though he refused to kill him, he wasn’t past causing him pain and he wasn’t above using the Death Eater’s body as a receiving end to his crucio. His time with the enemies did increase his power and his effectiveness. He didn’t even have to say the spell or force his will to do it, it just flowed from the tip of his wand and seeped itself deep within Carrow’s body. He made sure to wordlessly use the ‘oscausi’ spell before his torment as well, glad to see Amycus’ mouth disappearing and shutting him up before his agonizing screams met your ears, something he didn’t want you to hear no matter how much this monster deserved it.
He continued his torture until he was pleased; until he saw tears of blood escaping beady eyes and defeat completely wash over the man. Draco lowered his wand, letting out a breath of relief and eyeing the disaster in front of him again. Amycus thrashed around, his momentary defeat fading away as his swinging body attempted to break free but the younger Death Eater wasn’t finished either.
He lifted his knee, the Italian leather shoes he wore were the last thing Amycus saw that day before Draco slammed his foot down onto his face with a powerful kick, knocking him out cold and fast. He checked for a pulse, found a weak one, and nodded to himself with satisfaction.
That was enough for him.
When he turned back on his heels to rush down the hall, he wasn’t expecting to see you standing at the end of it where he purposefully hadn’t left you. He briefly stopped in his steps, watching you cautiously to see if what you caught had bothered you, but it didn’t. You briskly began walking towards him, his body still in a bubbling rise of fear until you were in front of him wrapping your arms tightly around his middle. You felt him relax in your touch, his hands smoothing over your lower back and encircling around your hips.
“I’m sorry you had to witness me like that,” he apologizes with pained eyes. “I just had to make him hurt.”
“I understand, Draco,” you sympathize with his revenge. Although you didn’t particularly enjoy seeing your lover so violent, Amycus was someone whose downfall had been long overdue.
Draco walked with you into the dingy office, the stone floor covered in hundreds and thousands of tiny gravel particles that shook from the ceilings with each hit the castle took from the outside. You heard a muttered 'Lumos’ coming from the blond, the majority of the room now all of a sudden glowing with a cold white light, flashes of your last moments in there flickering across your mind like a nightmare you couldn’t escape now that everything was becoming visible. You took a deep breath, moving forward hesitantly in short scuffles around the area you saw your wand discarded when it was taken from you.
It was hard to look around, the flood of emotions almost running completely through you as tears pooled in your eyes faster than you could try to blink them away. You were positive Draco couldn’t see you or hear the small sniffles you were trying to play off by talking about how dusty it was, but he was too observant and never dumb when it came to you.
He sighed to himself, his heart dropping to his stomach slightly when he saw how your gaze shifted around the room and the floor anxiously as though you were reliving whatever you had gone through in those moments when he couldn’t save you. He reached out for your hand, his cold fingertips brushing against your palm and snapping you out of the daze you were in with a small almost inaudible gasp. He gently tugged you behind him, lowering his wand towards the ground and kicking around some of the debris until he finally saw the familiar wand he loved to see in your hands.
“There,” he announces quietly, bending down to pick it up and dust it off on his dress shirt as if dirt had never bothered him in his life. “Back where it belongs.” He places it into your palm carefully, your hand encircling around the wand tightly and holding it against your chest lovingly as if it was alive. He smiled down at you, his hand reaching up to rest on the back of your hair while he gingerly pressed a kiss onto your forehead.
“Thank you.”
“Nothing to thank me for, darling,” he responds softly.
He took your hand again in the direction of the exit, hurrying you out of the room in quick strides until you were out into the corridor and around the corner leading you to the grand staircases.
He hesitated at the first step that would begin the descent to the first floor where the entirety of Hogwarts was gathered in the Great Hall all injured, dead, or alive. He was getting a sudden rush of fear, the same unease repeating in his head that you had already tried to hush away but it still stayed. He didn’t want to be turned away and he didn’t want to feel outcasted anywhere anymore.
“They’re never going to forgive me. They’ll probably cast me outside directly into the line of fire themselves.”
“Draco,” you say softly, placing a gentle palm on his cheek while your fingers brush away the wavy strands hanging over his red-tinged eyes. “In all honesty, it doesn’t matter what they think. They don’t know you or understand you, just what you’ve done and that’s all most of them will ever be able to see. But as long as you know and the people you love know who you are, that’s all that matters. Besides, you’re not alone anymore. You’re stuck with me.”
An amused airy sort of half-laugh escaped his lips, a small smile on his face as he eyed you, the sight in front of him allowing another exhale of relief from his worries.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” You feel his fingers graze against your open hand, his pinky absentmindedly linking around yours like you were children making a silent promise to be 'best friends forever.’ “You’re clever, Y/L/N, I’ll give you that. Always knowing what to say to make me feel like I’m on top of the world.”
“It’s because I’ve bewitched you,” you smile stupidly while the blond rolled his eyes.
“So you admit it? Are you slipping me amortentia too?” He searched your playful features, the glint of amusement in your eyes he loved and missed to see that always left him feeling breathless.
“Definitely,” you answer sarcastically. “But enough stalling, let’s go.”
He let you lead him down the stairs, his hand held tightly in yours while his gaze stayed stuck on his feet shuffling slowly down the steps.
Your conversation was rattling around in his head for some reason, his heart a little lighter after the impromptu banter even if it wasn’t the most appropriate time to joke around. But your words brought him back to the times when you weren’t with him; when you were forced to separate. The days and the nights he’d be worried sick with his thoughts in a twist and his chest pounding with worry over your safety.
Sometimes through those thoughts, he would have a very odd and unworldly recurring one now and then that made him wish that really, you were just a smart witch who managed to slip him amortentia every day and that those concerns over you and your life weren’t real. He sometimes felt so deeply that it scared him, feelings so raw that he couldn’t possibly understand and that tore him apart if he wasn’t distracting himself with something else. He couldn’t help but seldom wonder if maybe the non-existent love potion you had on him faded away; so would his fears and feelings. But they never did, they only grew both more pitiful and meaningful in a whirlwind of others.
And though he often hated to admit just how deeply he felt and the vulnerability that came with it, he has no regrets about letting you in. Without you, his world would just be a dark storm of chaos and pain, but with you; there’s a light at the end of a tunnel. You’re the sun, the moon, and all the stars to him that light up his darkest days and help guide him and teach him in more ways than he could ever fathom.
Before he knew it, he was stepping over and maneuvering around debris from the battle, the hand holding yours feeling more clammy as you both witnessed for the first time the aftermath of what just happened in and outside the castle’s walls not too long ago.
The sky was a blackened gray, a thunderous cover still sitting over the night with lingering clouds of smoke that looked like they came from fireworks but had instead been hexes and curses streaming through the air with the build-up of dust from the destruction.
It was painful, seeing people searching around still and calling out for whoever they were looking for. Bodies of Death Eaters and Scattered wands and ends of them that seemed to be snapped in half and dumped randomly. Giant holes blasted in the middle of the walls and so high up towards the tall ceilings that it looked like half the room was gone. It was silent, but mournful cries were ringing throughout the air and groans of pain coming from those who were injured. Everyone you had seen so far looked just like you and Draco did; dirty, disheveled, anxious, and dazed in a numb state.
You felt him get closer to you when you walked towards the wide-open doors of the Great Hall that sounded busier as you approached. You could feel the turmoil inside, the grief and the pain. Emotions were running high and strongly enough so that anyone who entered the room would feel it.
Draco swallowed thickly as he looked around, his stomach churning with shame as if it were his fault why everything and everyone was in anguish.
You looked up at him almost knowingly, your thumb soothingly running back and forth over the back of his hand while you gently squeezed it. You knew him well enough that he would start blaming himself, just like he always did much to your dismay.
You continued to lead him through the masses, both of you ignoring the furious glances in your direction as you trailed through with the very prominent silver-haired Slytherin who everyone now knew was associated with the Dark Lord and his servants. You heard a couple of hateful mutters, but it was relatively quiet as you ignored those too and kept your search for Madam Pomfrey with trembling and careful steps. Draco kept his eyes downcast, some of the spots of blood on the ground made him feel dizzy but it was better than anything else in his surroundings that he refused to acknowledge any more than he already had.
Madam Pomfrey was scurrying around a back corner when you finally found her, sweat dripping down her face and her uniform stained with grime and scarlet marks. The second she saw you, her hands flew up in surprise on either side of her head, the motion being followed by her hands suddenly clamping over her mouth as a shocked and visibly grateful expression crossed her face.
“Y/N!” She wailed quietly, her hands bunching up at her skirt while she moved around the area to meet you halfway. You weren’t expecting her to pull you into a hug, her hand smoothing over the back of your hair as she pulled away and seemingly inspecting you for any injuries. “I’m so glad you’re okay, dear. I overheard someone saying they saw you and Professor Carrow on one of the top floors and they weren’t sure if you made it out alive before they left. I’ve been worried sick, I don’t know how much more loss I can take.”
You blinked hard, trying to register her impromptu vent and concern over you as if you were the most important person to her in the room. “You worried about me, Madam Pomfrey?”
“Why, of course!” She exclaimed as if it was the most obvious fact in the world. “I didn’t watch you grow up, mend your injuries, and help you learn the beauty of healing without growing a soft spot for you. I sometimes feel like you’re the daughter I never had.”
You gave her a warm smile, her random confession making your chest feel a little less heavy. You were sure she was riddled with feeling the need to speak her mind and telling people how she truly felt about them after seeing all the deceased, all the people who she didn’t get a chance to talk to, or whose loved ones didn’t get a chance to either.
“While I have you here, a lot of people need tending and it’s only a few others and myself, would you-”
“No need to ask,” you quickly agreed, it was a no-brainer. Your hands were itching with the need to help, it was the main reason why you chose to come down. “Where do you need me?”
“Anyone you see who needs it.”
She gave a curt nod to Draco who she may or may not have ignored just the slightest and gave you a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before she rushed over to someone behind you who had been calling for help.
You turn slowly to scan the room, cot-ridden people some covered in bandages and some holding onto their wounds while they waited for Pomfrey or anyone. You decided to focus on those first, Draco trailing closely behind you as you began making a beeline towards the people who looked to be in the worst shape.
Your wand was now held tightly in your shaking hand, the stress of doing real Healer work being something more common than you could have imagined now being right in front of you. You were still learning, still strengthening your skills but they were still sufficient, a natural gift you carried with you.
The first person you helped was a sixth-year boy, one you remember seeing on the Gryffindor Quidditch team as soon as he was in his second year as one of their more skilled Chasers. You remember seeing him play, so determined and full of rough excitement especially when he would be in a match against Slytherin. But now he was here, bleeding out on a cot with his hands held tightly over a spot on his waist and the light gone from his eyes. He was barely alive, nearly defeated and it made you want to scream out of sadness and frustration.
“Draco, I need your help,” you said quickly as you observed the wound, pulling the boy’s hands away from his side. “I need you to lift him up while I check him from the back.”
“What?” He wished he heard you wrong, but he knew what you were asking him to do.
“I need you to lift him, please, hurry,” you say to him again and this time he hastily moved to lower himself to the ground beside you and timidly began trying to prop the boy up. When he finally was able to, he watched you carefully as you worked diligently. He watched your hands feel around for any more bodily harm, your eyebrows knitted together in deep thought and worry, your bottom lip stressfully caught in between your teeth. You were muttering hopeful remarks to the boy that he would be okay, and as you dragged your wand across the deep gashes with your magical contact and intense care; Draco had realized just how talented you were. You were in your prime, your element, in full force.
After you bandaged the boy up with a quick spell, you allowed Draco to set him back down and began moving to the next without missing a beat.
It was like that for a while, moving around like a robot with one job where nothing else mattered except the saving of a life. You helped every single person you were able to, all the while Draco was admiring your skills with deep respect even while you were ordering him around to help you.
Hours passed, it seemed like. The only indication that time had indeed passed was the brightening of the dull gray sky now welcoming dawn. You had been working relentlessly, so much so, that for a while you forgot where you were and what you were doing there. If it wasn’t for Draco pointing out the new change of day and what everyone was anxiously waiting for - you would have kept healing until you couldn’t.
A flurry of hushed whispers fell amongst the desolated crowd packed inside the Great Hall. People were beginning to stand up and look outwards towards the collapsed gaping hole in the wall that faced the main courtyard where an army of dark-cloaked figures was approaching from the castle’s bridge. Voldemort was returning, and you weren’t sure if it was going to be a fight or the surrender he had promised. You weren’t even sure if Harry went to him, you were clueless about everything and so was Draco.
A mob of students and adults had hesitantly but willfully moved outside through the large hole exposing the outside. They had an air of almost guardianship surrounding them, shoulders squared and hands gripping their wands tightly as they blocked off the opening. Those who wanted to see what was coming had also begun making their way outside, leaving only the injured and the terrified inside.
Draco looked at you expectantly, silently telling you that he needed to be outside too. You knew he’d want to search for his parents and there wasn’t any protest from you as you trailed behind him to the main yard. You stopped beside him on the steps where the majority of the people stood, allowing the two of you to blend in somewhat.
It was quiet but the sound of several footsteps, stopping suddenly with their leader where he wanted and then suddenly all that echoed throughout the courtyard was, “Harry Potter… is dead!”
You held your breath and at the same time felt Draco stiffen next to you. You saw his eyes land first on his parents, they were clear as day just as frightened as he was as they filled out into the courtyard. They stood at the front of the crowd with the rest of the inner circle they were no longer a part of, standing off to the side with sullen and exhausted expressions or terrified, you couldn’t quite tell.
You couldn’t process what vile words were being thrown out into the air by the creature and creator of evil himself, nor could you process the eerie silence that fell upon what seemed like the whole world. There was not a bird in the sky, not a shimmer of sunlight, no butterflies or pixies fluttering around. It was like the Earth was dying alongside everyone. The darkness was devouring the wizarding world, but it was also seeping into the muggle world.
You hadn’t even noticed what was going on, Voldemort’s unsettling speech fading in your ears until you felt Draco’s grip around your hand tighten almost painfully as if he was petrified by something. He felt statuesque beside you, his skin feeling cold and clammy and after a few seconds of a complete dead quietness, you understood why.
“Draco!” Lucius called out loudly in a quavering voice. Your head snapped in his direction, and then towards Draco, his eyes were shifting around him nervously at everyone who had turned to stare at him. He was analyzing them too, wondering if any of them would ask him to stay or to leave. His adam’s apple was bobbing up and down as if he wanted to cry, a trembling breath falling from his lips as his father called for him one more time to come to him.
Your heart was beating through your chest now, your body turning slightly towards his as you wrapped your free hand around his wrist softly. He was being tested and in the worst way possible with a whole expecting audience. The fight between wanting to be good or being with his family was visibly eating him alive; even if it meant betraying himself, he loved his parents and being with them even if it was in awful, wicked circumstances.
You started to feel more frantic when Narcissa stepped forward, her facial expression was like stone, but the emotion swimming behind her eyes was vivid. You saw the same appearance on her the last time you were at the Manor, strong on the outside but troubled on the inside - much like her son. A pale manicured hand was placed on her husband’s shoulder, her lips set in a thin line as she observed Draco and then you. You held your breath, knowing that if she called him to her, he would go. You felt like preparing yourself for the blow that was about to come, for the goodbye, for the letting go again, but nothing ever came.
She waited until Voldemort had his back to her, her eyes locking with yours suddenly and then over to Draco while she smiled ever so slightly, you almost missing it completely before she nodded just as faintly and mouthed, “it’s okay.”
The hold on your hand lessened almost immediately only for him to stiffen again when Voldemort looked back between him and then his parents. You sensed Draco about to lurch forward, but someone else did first.
Neville stepped forward, the attention falling on him now as Voldemort focused his unbelieving stare on him now. But what he thought was a new devoter was actually the complete opposite.
The speech he gave inspired the atmosphere again and gave strength to the people still willing to fight. You held onto Draco’s hand tightly, his head turning to face you with worry at the death-like grip and the tremors shooting down your arms. He was about to take you away, about to run somewhere far away with you in his arms and ready to fight for his life to escape the next fight about to take place. He didn’t want you to bear witness to any more pain and just as he opened his mouth to speak - everyone in the courtyard had audibly and roughly gasped in surprise.
He turned hastily, his gaze following everyone else’s to where Harry now stood, wand in his hand and shooting a spell at the Dark Lord’s snake companion. He saw Voldemort staring back in horror, throwing spells back at Harry’s retreating figure while some of the Death Eaters began to apparate into the air in their signature black mists. That is when Draco found his footing again, his heart dropping to the pit of his stomach as he damn near pulled you away with all his might.
You cried out in fear, the blasts being sent through the air and screams of spells like repeats of the night before were enough to have your courage muddled once again. This time, though, Draco was going to make it his mission to keep you out of harm’s way.
He ran inside the castle with you, sprinting down the corridors with your hand grasped tightly in his as you passed piles of rubble and the empty portraits that were once alive. He stopped at a random door, forgetting about his wand and rather following his primal instincts to kick at its wooden planks until it swung open to reveal a dark classroom. He kept your hand in his as he maneuvered around the desks with you in the dark, his destination being the small storage room at the very back of the class where it was hidden by some tall display shelves.
The storage closet was cramped and empty, a couple of unlabeled and old dusty bottles of who knows what was left on the shelves above. He moved you inside - but he didn’t follow this time.
“Draco,” you warn. “Where are you going?”
He opened his mouth to answer but he quickly shut it, his head turning around rapidly at the sound of someone running outside the class. That’s when you saw it, a dark mist unexpectedly showed up at the door, a harsh “Malfoy brat!” escaping his mouth as he started running towards Draco with his wand in his hand.
“I love you,” Draco hastily said before slamming the door shut in your face. A clicking sound rang in the little room, your hand reaching for the doorknob he just locked on you to try and rattle it open.
Struggling grunts, loud bangs, and finally a shattering window echoed in your ears despite you being locked in the storage room. You were paralyzed with fear, keeping deathly silent to try and hear if they were still in the room or if someone had been killed. You prayed it wasn’t the latter, increasingly growing angry with Draco for not allowing you to help him. Though you’d complained to him about him not letting you fight beside him, and saved him from being killed by the Death Eater the night before, you understood why he always flees to hide you.
It wasn’t because he thought you were weak, he told you time and time again it wasn’t your skills he was worried about - but his.
You fished out your wand with shaky hands and blurred vision, pointing towards the doorknob with a fervent 'alohomora.’ It slowly opened, your foot kicking it forward only slightly as you cautiously stepped back out into the open. There was no one and nothing there but stained glass window shards on the ground near the middle of the room where the fight between the two undoubtedly happened. You ran towards the mess, leaping up onto a ledge and looking outside the window where Draco was nowhere to be found.
A dry mouth accompanied your fears, a coldness enveloping you with an unwelcome hug as you stepped back onto the ground and made a beeline towards the door of the classroom. You rushed through the hallway, ducking and hiding from Death Eaters as you ran with all your might towards the Great Hall.
It was still packed with people, more injured people than there was the last time you were in there less than an hour ago. Everything moved so fast, your feet carrying you forward without another thought as you bolted through the Great Hall and towards the courtyard.
You almost made it to the opening, your eyes suddenly spotting three heads of bright platinum hair in the distance hiding behind a large fallen pillar before you were met with the cold stone beneath you.
Someone had grabbed your leg as you were running, your body colliding with the floor as you ripped yourself away almost instantly once you realized you had fallen. You looked back with your wand on defense as you prepared to face your attacker, but there was no one.
A pale and almost green-looking older man stared at you with wide fearful irises, pupils blown out and mouth hanging open and moaning in pain. He gestured weakly to his wounded body and the sight nearly made you want to collapse all over again.
You glanced back towards Draco and then again towards the man, the decision in your head already being made with the innate need to want to heal the man before you as you scurried over quickly to tend to him. You used your wand to try and heal some of his more major wounds but some of them wouldn’t close fast enough and you were left with the man falling deeper into pain as he lost more blood.
He started grabbing at your hands, forcefully pushing your wand hand towards his lacerations while you struggled to focus between him and the battlefield where Draco was standing with his parents.
“Please, heal me, please miss,” he begged, pulling your arm again. You were forced to turn away, worry eating away at you as you struggled to center your mind for the spell to close up his wounds. He finally stopped clawing at you, sitting back in defeat as you croaked out the bandaging spell with a shaky hand over the area, and finally saw most of his gashes closing up while you did.
Your momentary focus was cut short when a loud boom roared throughout the area, some of the windows breaking from the frequency of it and your eardrums suddenly pulsing with a high-pitched ringing. You fell back on your hands, your blood running cold as you hastily turned around to look outside. You couldn’t see anything, just a thick unpenetrable cloud of smoke and more chunks of the castle falling. You could feel the ground shake as they connected with the stone pavement, more dust flying up into the air as they did.
You felt like screaming, maybe you were, you couldn’t hear a thing besides the ringing and distant explosions. Hot tears were falling down your face as you pushed yourself up from the ground, stumbling over your feet from how fast you were moving yet feeling so heavy at the same time. You couldn’t stop yourself from trying to run blindly into the cloud of smoke, desperately trying to look for Draco all while praying that you didn’t and instead he moved out of the way.
Your hearing was slowly returning to you; the sound of nothing yet everything was unnerving. Cries and spell incantations and destruction - but also panicked dead silence. You could feel and faintly hear yourself screaming out for Draco, his name echoing brokenly in the darkened air.
It felt like everything was moving in slow-motion, a feeling you don’t think you’d ever get used to no matter how often it happened. It always ensued in the most unanticipated and painful moments, your adrenaline sky-rocketing and your mind moving rapidly, but everything else seemed to move like a stop-motion film.
People had started running out of the smoke and towards the opening in the wall to retreat into the Great Hall. They were coughing violently, some hobbling over and grabbing at themselves from wherever they were in pain. Some brushed past you, some bumped into you as if you weren’t there, some gripped onto your arms and pleaded for you to go inside either because they needed help or were just trying to protect you from moving out of a danger zone. You felt dumb still calling out for Draco, no answer, no speck of white dirtied hair, no one hearing or seeing a thing about him.
The sob stuck in your throat finally tore itself through, your heart dropping to your stomach as Madam Pomfrey appeared near the wall to call out for you to come inside to help again. You didn’t want to leave your spot in the sheer and blind hope that the love of your life would stumble through the area safe and okay. Even when the smoke cleared up and Harry Potter and Voldemort became clear in the courtyard again with their wands fighting against each other, you still didn’t see any sign of Draco.
“Y/N!” Madam Pomfrey called for you again desperately as she ushered people inside. You were sick to your stomach, your vision hazy and your legs weak. You couldn’t stop crying or shaking, all of your worst nightmares abruptly feeling too real for you to handle. Your name was called for again, your heart breaking even further as your feet unwillingly dragged you back inside only to be thrown back into healing people which was ironically the last thing you wanted to do at this moment.
Your tears didn’t stop when you were kneeled and tending to someone’s broken ankle, your whole body trembling still even as you tried to focus and still yourself enough to give them what they needed. All you could think about was Draco and how you might never see him alive again, never feel him, or experience life with him in the way you dreamed of. Every moment you spent with him felt like it was slowly going down the drain; everything you went through - all were just going to be agonizing memories. The recurring nightmarish flush of emotions that felt like they ran through you every other day when you thought Draco was dead was on the forefront now. You swore you were about to empty dry-heave over the person underneath you, forcing down the need to gag even if it was painfully bubbling in your throat.
It was panic all around you, and panic, and more panic - until there wasn’t. You hadn’t even noticed that all the rushing and commotion in the room stopped until you realized you were able to hear your faint weeping and then scattered shocked gasps and a disappearing howl of the wind.
You hastily stood up from your kneeled position over the person you were finished tending, your sight bouncing from every corner of the courtyard where the only visible person in your vision was Harry, his head following the movement of a long whirl of black ashes that were disappearing into the gray and polluted sky from the aftermath of the battle.
The realization hit you a million times over in the few seconds that you watched the ashes vanish into thin air.
Voldemort was gone.
The only thing on Earth that was standing between you and Draco from giving in to each other freely and thoughtlessly. It felt like all your fears had dissipated into the gray hub with the speckled ashes of the Dark Lord, no more worry for the future that no longer looked so bleak - but unknowing again. You couldn’t find Draco anywhere and just as fast as your dread had left you; it came rushing back with a nauseating flood of terror. You were never sure whether to trust your intuition that always sparkled with faith that tried to wash away your worries or your mind that was racing with doubts and pessimistic thoughts telling the rest of your being to relax and lose the blind hope.
You almost tripped over yourself trying to scurry out towards the gathering crowd near the exit, your heartbeat feeling hollow and legs weak and feeling like you were sinking into quicksand. You brought up your elbow to try and maneuver yourself through the growing group of people, but someone with a swift grasp around your arm had stopped you and spun you around directly into their embrace.
Draco was no stranger to you. There was nothing about him that you wouldn’t be able to recognize. You knew it was him the moment your nose brushed against the cool skin of his throat where it still smelled faintly of his cologne. You felt his disheveled hair tickle your cheeks and the soft thankful string of whispers that felt like a warm kiss going past your ear lobes. Your arms were tight around his neck, not caring about the possibility that you might be choking him but he was holding onto your waist just as hard and unknowingly spinning you both around in a slow and dazed way that felt like gravity was pulling you both together as he rocked you carefully back and forth in his hold. Your endless hot tears were falling onto his collarbones and soaking the neckline of his shirt, his physical presence almost being too much for you after you had accidentally convinced yourself of his death.
“I thought you died,” you mumble out muffledly into his chest. “I saw you and then there was a blast and-”
“You forget I can apparate, Y/L/N?” He whispers the question.
When you finally opened your eyes, you were still tightly held in Draco’s arms, propping your chin on his shoulder as you held your breath from the beauty that was unveiling itself right in front of you. You were facing the opening to the courtyard, the dense gray thunderous clouds in the orange and blue sky were quickly disappearing as if they were being magically blown away like they didn’t belong there.
The sun was beaming down on you, the rays kissing every inch of your face with a warmth that filled you with peace. You hadn’t seen the sun in so long, bright and shimmering in all its glory like it was the first day of summer. Birds and other small flying creatures were soaring through the air again, the chirps and songs of dawn that began the new day were beautifully loud as if they were alarms that were waking everyone up from a nightmare.
It felt like the morning of a day you were yearning so long for, a day that felt like the equivalent of events that you were just so thrilled for and couldn’t wait for, where you spent the night before wide-awake with adrenaline and couldn’t sleep because of how excited you were for what lied ahead; like the day before you began your first-year at Hogwarts. Otherworldly and full of awe and wondrous hope for a future that was now infinite.
You weren’t sure how long it took you to tear your stare away from the scene. You leaned back, his hands still resting on your hips to hold you in place as you gazed into his waiting eyes but it was enough to make you feel speechless again. You wanted to kiss him with every fiber in your being, feel his touch from head to toe.
You took a look around you and saw everyone in a mix of joyous tears, celebratory hugs, and kisses.
“Are you alright?” He asked you quietly, soft concern entangled between his words, eyebrows furrowed and eyes focused on yours attentively. “I’m sorry I left you in the storage closet. I was going to go in with you, I swear, but I heard someone coming and-”
“It’s okay, Draco,” you cut him off, releasing a huff of air, “I’m alright and I understand. Thank you.” You gave him a teary smile. He returned the grin half-heartedly, one of his hands coming up from behind your back and carefully moving a flyaway out of your face.
“Good.” He let out breathily. “Now let’s get out of here for a minute.”
His fingers interlocked with yours, his arm tugging you slightly in the direction he wanted to take you in as he turned on his heel and began towards the Great Hall’s main doors. It felt foreign now that it was riddled with every awful thing that just happened, stained and etched into the stone walls for the rest of Hogwarts history.
Everything was different now, it looked and felt like so in the clearest way.
You were walking through the large meadows blossoming throughout the outside of the school now that the sun was out and all its beings that came with its bright renewing light. Tall blades of grass brushed across your ankles, flowers, and weeds latching themselves onto your calves slightly as if they were hugging your lower limbs like they were old friends.
He was taking you towards your tree, its lively branches twirling around in the whistling gales flowing through it. It snowed white and pink wispy petals and bright green leaves, the pieces of nature flying excitedly in the air as they fell all around you or disappeared into the passing breeze.
There was a pause when you both stopped in your steps in front of the sentient’s trunk, right underneath all its shaking twigs. Your hands stayed in each other’s grasp, but no words were said yet. No reactions or outbursts, just blankness written on his perfect face if you ignored the wrinkle in his brow you were sure was permanent now as it was always there.
“How do you feel?” You ask almost hesitantly, the thickness in the air growing by the second from his silence.
“I don’t know.” He sounds far away. His head was in a million other places than where he was. “It’s odd, I thought I’d-” He stopped himself. You caught the disappointment that flashed across his icy eyes.
“What is it?” You waited. You hoped you didn’t sound too eager, however the innate need you felt now to ease away all his worries always had you ready at your feet to bring him some sort of peace.
“I thought it would feel happier,” he mumbles, looking up at you with vast watery eyes. “He’s gone, but he left me with nothing.”
You frown at his reveal. You could sense the uneasiness inside him as the adrenaline from watching the Dark Lord disappear into thin air had rapidly passed for him. He was realizing now that his problem was no longer Voldemort, but his life that got thrown off its track in the process.
“And the worst of it all,” he mutters bitterly, his tears now rushing angrily down his face in muddy streaks. You felt him roughly pull his left sleeve up, pitiful sniffles emitting from him as he struggled helplessly to fold the fabric up his arm.
You placed a careful hand over his trembling ones, stopping his wild movements as you tried your best to hush him into comfort. It seemed like the simplest things work for him when they come from you, centering all his anger and sadness so abruptly it almost feels like he gets brought back down to Earth after being launched into space. He was still livid and ashamed, but for your sake only, he kept himself from moving recklessly and calmed his haphazardness.
“It’s still there,” he let out defeatedly, dragging his fingers across the faded black ink on his skin. You could still make out the skull and the snake, its form still clear as day, just significantly less opaque on his arm.
Draco felt let down almost. He built up the excitement of thinking he would be able to get rid of that horrible mark one day if Voldemort ever got defeated, but the day was finally here and yet it still stained him as a reminder of the worst years of his life that he wanted to do everything in his power to forget.
“I seem to remember telling you the night you first showed it to me,” you trailed off as you replaced the hand over his mark with yours. “That, while I know you hate it and I know it hurts to see it. It’s not you. And one day, forth from today, it’s going to be so faint that it’ll just be a reminder of how you survived and got through the most difficult point of your life. I know you want to forget, but this won’t ever be something you can just ignore. It’s going to be with you forever and the only thing you can do is move forward and try towards the future you dreamed of when you thought it was impossible. I believe in your future, Draco. You can still be who you want to be.”
He would never be able to fully explain to you how appreciative he was for you; for your entire existence and your presence in his life. He couldn’t fathom how much the flurry of emotions that ran through his body affected him due to your reassuring words dripping from your lips like honey. Simple skin-to-skin contact from you, or even just a look - could send his mind into a hurricane like that. He doesn’t think he’ll get over it, ever.
The feeling of you.
Draco took a shuddering breath, allowing the unexpected warm air to fill his lungs and hopefully rid his body of its anxious random quivering. He didn’t want to cry anymore in front of you, nor did he want to sadden you on what was supposed to be a relieving day.
Unfortunately for him, you were able to read him instantly. You finally cracked the code of Draco Malfoy and what he looked like when he was withholding words or sentiments from you. When he was genuinely troubled with his thoughts. Or any other beautiful or haunting expression that settled itself onto his porcelain features. Your speech to him had touched the deepest depths in his heart and eased his worries tremendously, but he couldn’t shake the anxiety gnawing at him.
Right now, he was looking spooked and pained. His expression wasn’t as harsh as it had been for the last many months you’ve known him now, but it was still clear he was disturbed. You knew nothing you said or did for him would be able to completely erase the events that transpired and changed not only his world but the whole wizarding world - and yours. Everyone had overextended their body, minds, powers, and efforts for the sake of a bright future with the endless possibilities that no one would ever take for granted again.
All you were able to do for him right now was gently tug his arm to wordlessly ask him to sit in the grass with you, to which he complied, and you embraced him with every intention of never letting go. Something about the way you wrapped your whole self around him made him feel grateful all over again and most of all, safe. Your hands ran up and down his back soothingly, every once in a while one snaked up his neck and played with the hair on the back of his head, nails grazing soft circles onto his scalp. Your chest was flush against his and he couldn’t help moving you onto his lap to wrap his arms around you tighter and bring you impossibly closer.
This was the first time, he realized, that when he closed his eyes and saw the darkness surrounding his vision - it wasn’t bleak. It wasn’t hopeless as it had been just over an hour ago. It was like a huge iron weight had been lifted off his chest, the figurative anchor tugging him to the bottom of his despair was cut free and he felt himself slowly but surely coming back up to the surface. The drowning feeling in him wasn’t overwhelming anymore.
Draco was unsure of whether or not his steady breathing was because he had automatically begun matching his inhales and exhales to the rise and fall of your chest against him, or if it was because of the continuous realization that the Devil looming over his fate was gone, but he was grateful.
Merlin, he was so grateful.
He was fine for a second. But then something much worse came to mind.
The thoughts of what would happen after Voldemort’s death quickly changed from him wondering how can he move forward with his life and now tainted past, to realizing what he and his family did was a crime. An extremely unforgiving crime in his world and one punishable by an eternity of imprisonment in the worst place imaginable. A place that if he didn’t have the soul sucked out of him physically, he would lose it himself with time as he rotted away.
Draco felt his breathing switch from steady to ragged almost instantaneously again. His hands were suddenly on your hips, carefully sliding you off of him and scooting away from you so that he could gather himself. He couldn’t look at you right now, feeling insanely guilty for who he was and how you didn’t deserve to deal with his mess. You didn’t deserve to keep getting put through hell for him and he hated knowing that everything awful that had happened to you has been directly linked to him, caused by him indirectly.
"Draco,” you call out to him gently. You saw the panic in his eyes, his cheeks growing red with dread, and his fingers pulling at his white strands. You feared for him, his heart, and his mind. You wanted to cry with him, understanding that he wasn’t going to be okay for a while.
“I’m so pathetic, I’m sorry,” he expressed to you meekly.
“What’s wrong, love?” You try again. You crawled over to him, stopping in front of him where he was hugging his knees to his chest and sobbing into the fabric of his pants. His cries broke your heart like they did every time, the pain always evident in his wavering voice. “Maybe I can help?”
“No, Y/N,” he muttered weakly. “You can’t help me on this one.”
“How do you know that if you won’t tell me what it is.” You frown at his stubbornness. You noticed his attempt at trying to take a deep breath to answer you and the way his head slightly shook from side to side.
“Unless you can stop the ministry from banishing me to Azkaban,” he finally spits out with a
summary;after spending the night of the yule ball with renowned slytherin, draco malfoy, you catch his eye at breakfast. the boy seems to be hell-bent on seeing into your thoughts, and so you let him — but now you think he might’ve seen too much.
word count; 1kgive or take a few words maybe like exactly 23 idk i don’t have specifics
content;use of legilimency and occlumency, sexual themes, choking if you use a magnifying glass, i really came for draco’s childhood trauma + mental issues… my apologies, mentions of love (gross but also will they,won’t they?).
a/n; this is a rewrite of “last night”, something shitty i made ages ago !! anyway absolutely brilliant title god my mind is so powerful ugh </3 food ??? breakfast. for ??? thought??? occlumency, legilimency !!! i’m so sorry, i rewrote pretty much every word(including this authors note, is it that obvious?) at 5:30 am, it’s not amazing, but i’m sleep deprived and on my period so safe to say i did tear up for absolutely no reason.
you and draco both said that you’d never speak of what ensued in his dormitory the night of the yule ball. and you obliged. and you both swore it would never happen again. and you nodded your head. it was a mutual, meaningful agreement, and post-orgasm, it had seemed like a brilliant idea. no consequences, no ties between you two, being from different houses.
but it was extremely difficult to stick to your word when your legs still ached from the night before.
and his breathy groans, hot air fanning over your ear as he railed into you senselessly, wouldn’t push out of your mind.
and the bruises trailing down from your neck to your waistline were constant reminders of his tongue tracing over them, blowing on them, teasing you to all hell.
every time you blinked, the images flashed beneath your eyelids.
every time you inhaled, you missed his hand squeezing over your throat, restricting air.
and merlin, any slight brush against your own skin made you jump, thinking of his body on yours, skin on skin, sweat, clammy hands, your arched back, the veins in his hands, his jaw, his collarbones.
in the great hall, you made your way to your table for breakfast alone, and gnawed at your bottom lip while playing around with the food on your plate, famished, yet still so full of racing thoughts and fresh memories. his hands on your thighs, the way he sighed your name, your nails digging into his back, leaving little crescent moons over it, and his shoulders, and his hips, too. again and again and again.
looking up from your plate to scan the empty room, your eyes met draco’s ones, his irises a stormy grey, pupils dilated, and you inhaled sharply, looking away. you’d gotten up early, as if it would stop suspicion rising if you seemed like you hadn’t had a long night. it seemed as if he’d done that too, sat alone just the same.
merlin, you could feel the burn of his gaze, it made your body freeze and your cheeks heat up. he was looking right at you, right into you. you could feel it, the thumping at your temple that wouldn’t cease, the throbbing behind your eyelids. he was attempting to penetrate into your thoughts.
as if he hadn’t penetrated enough of you within the twenty-four hours, for fucks sake.
in need of a distraction, you turned your attention to the fork still lazily dancing across your plate, the cold handle twirling beneath your fingertips. it didn’t feel fair, what he’d done to you. turning you into a mess, mind hazy. giving you a taste, then taking it away immediately, albeit that being exactly what you’d agreed on. and although he really had given you absolutely everything the night before (or rather, this morning), it still felt like a neverending tease, with all that need careening through your veins.
swallowing harshly, you straightened up in your seat, pulling at the hem of your skirt, playing with a loose, dark thread. christ, he was still trying. the headache never seemed to stop, so persistent, so demanding, a feeling you knew well through conversations with dumbledore. but this headache clouded your mind, unforgiving, begging to be let through. it wasn’t asking for permission.
looking up once again, keeping your body still and your breath steady, you stared right back. taught ruthlessly by your grandmother, you’d always kept your mind shut from peering intruders. yet he was so fearlessly determined that you could feel it through his magic, snaking its way right through you, searching for any slight weaknesses in your armour. a strand of white hair fell over his forehead as he tilted his head slightly, jaw clenching. he wasn’t giving up.
draco malfoy always had something to prove. he was always so sure of his own success, so much to the point of insecurity, of doubt. it was a troubling mix of brashness, arrogance, and cowardice sprouting from the child rooted deep inside him, desperate for assurance and acceptance.
but it wasn’t your pity that led you to allow him to break through.
it was your need for him to know something you weren’t so sure you could admit verbally. you were thinking of him. that was all.
so, you stared straight into the silver of his eyes and let him right in.
his hands digging into your hips. the sheen of sweat over his entire body, glistening. the faint bruises he left on your wrists. you begging him to go harder.
him obliging.
his eyes were clouded over, as if in a trance, flitting through your memories.
but using legilimency was as much a curse as it was a blessing. because he could feel everything you felt too. the lust, the want, the pain filtering through the pleasure. and he could feel every little thing you’d noticed about him; the mole above his left knee, and the other on his waist, and the few freckles beneath his eyes, and the scar he had just above his eyebrow that you’d never really noticed until you’d tipsily placed wet kisses over his hairline.
for what felt like hours, you let him in, until he decided he’d had enough.
he was blinking quickly, brows furrowed, pale cheeks now flushed pink. he clumsily stood up from the slytherin table, pushing aside his plate of food, and stormed, flustered, out of the room, much like the boy who’d kissed you the night before. all tongue and teeth, all desperation, all emotion. but it was just for the one night. that was all.
and you felt foolish.
because you realised, he’d felt everything.
that in those moments, you thought you might’ve even loved him.
the boy, all tongue, and teeth, and hands, all pale skin, all desperation. it was certainly something entirely worthy of love.
indelicate marks: chapter thirteen - the window ledge
A/N: hello everyone! sorry its been so long since my last update.. but finally here is chapter thirteen!! thank you again for the support and i hope you enjoy. there should be around another seven chapters left. all my love - ivy
warnings: language, descriptions of kissing, nothing really nsfw, angst if you squint
You couldn’t breathe. Not that you cared, with the way Draco’s lips fit so well against yours. They remained for only a moment, dragging so carefully across yours that your heart stopped, dead. And then you’d fallen back, hand pulling away from his skin and hovering in the air as you stared at him. A confusing mix of lingering delight and terror swirled in the pit of your stomach, breath catching in the back of your throat. Oh shit. Did I actually just do that? Did I just kiss Draco bloody Malfoy? You were waiting for him to jump up and leave, body flashing cold. Yet, Draco hadn’t moved. He’d had to lean in a little with the force of your grasp. and he’d now frozen in place. Despite the glaze of shock, however, his eyes were stormy and dark, fixed on you, unwavering. Finally, you allowed the smallest breath of air to escape you. “I shouldn’t have done that.” You whispered, shaky. Draco’s lips twitched, so slight, yet your gaze followed the movement exactly. “No.” The single word prompted a more enforced, agonising stab at your chest. Though, a fire still managed to spark within your gut, with the way his voice had dropped an octave lower. It was dark, captivating, even within your own dismay. Draco was capable of making you feel everything at once, and it was addictive. Yet, as you prepared yourself for him to finally leave - he gave another, low mutter. “No, you fucking shouldn’t have.” And then his hand snapped to your jaw, and dragged you back towards him. With no hesitation, you met him halfway, hand dropping back into place at the back of his neck. Every single thought and every slight movement became dedicated to Draco. The way his lips moved, hungry and passionate, yet so careful, the edge of peppermint on his breath. He shifted with ease from where he once positioned himself on the edge of the window sill so his body shadowed yours. Spare hand set on the wall beside your head to prop himself up, his fingers brushed over your hip. His touch ignited your skin delightfully, teeth dragging across yours in the slightest. It was very clear that Draco had done this before - and it was most likely obvious your hadn’t. Every tiny movement earned him small, involuntary gasps, and each time Draco would deepen the kiss as it left you. Your arms wrapped around him, desperate to drag him closer. Yet, as your neck strained back a little more to meet him, a jolt of pain shot through the back of your head. A yelp came before you could pull away, and you winced as he shot back to stare at you with wide eyes. “Shit - what’s wrong?” Tone panicked, but still breathy, Draco set his hands on each shoulder. “Are you okay?” “Yeah - no - Draco, I’m fine.” His eyes were frantic as it searched you for any form of injury, and you cupped his face to tilt it back to you. Lips flickering into a gentle smile, you met his gaze. “I’m alright. Just a little pain in my head, that’s all.” Heart rate picking up at the sight of his swollen lips, they straightened, a flash of guilt shooting over his features. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have been so-” “I said I am fine, Draco.” You interrupted him, an amused glint twinkling in your eye. “Well, excuse me for caring about your well-being.” Draco grunted, hands pulling back from your shoulders. He readjusted himself on the ledge, crossing his arms across his chest - withdrawing. Before you could come to worry, however, he shot you a glance, brimming with a good humour. Scanning his features, you allowed yourself to smile, a full feeling settling in your chest. There was a small silence, then. Your eyes didn’t shift from him once, and eventually, you spoke. “Are we…” You hesitated, even as you began, instinctively fiddling with your sleeve. Head shooting up, Draco’s brown tightened at your sudden change of atmosphere. “Are we going to talk about that?” His features stilled. Anxiety filtered back to you, a pang of nausea hitting your stomach as he did. “No.” Draco finally said, tone firm. Something in his eyes was dark, but not in the greedy manner it had been earlier, and you tried to ignore the regret that crept up on you. “I think we should.” You tried, voice soft, glad you could keep any indication of your concern hidden. Still, the corners of his mouth only pulled into a subtle frown, his entire attitude unsettled. Because he wasn’t acting angry, or cold. He wasn’t withdrawing into himself, like he tended to do whenever you dared bring up feelings. Yet, he was still acting on edge, as though he was nervous. Conflicted. “Not now.” Draco shook his head to emphasise his point. He was searching your expression with an unexpected earnest. “You need to rest more, and I don’t want to have to argue with you tonight. It’s been eventful enough already.” It was your turn to scowl. Nails squeezing into the palms of your hands to release the tension, you avoided his eyes. “Why are we going to argue?” “I said, not now.” Set, Draco only fixed you with a glare - but it softened a little at your pained expression. He let out a sigh, hand creeping to yours to uncurl it as he did so. Something in that mix of stubbornness and softness overcame you. With a slight shake of the head, you murmured a reply. “Fine.” Mouth quirking up, almost in a thankful manner, you captured his expression before it fell. His fingers withdrew from yours, and your chest shifted desperately at the loss of contact. “Come on.” Draco sighed, again. “Let me walk you back to the dorms.” The room had gone mostly dark. It was definitely past curfew, most likely late into the night at this point. Although, you had no idea how long you had passed out for in the first place. Worry shifted back into your chest, shooting Draco a glimpse. “I-” Another hesitation. Draco arched an eyebrow up with his usual dead expression. “Could we stay here? For the night?” Draco stilled again. Jolting back into panic, for another time too many that night, you began to fall into a rant. “I just mean, after everything I don’t want to be on my own and it’s - it would be nice to have someone to be with-” “If we’re staying here, at least give me a bit more room so I can actually sit down properly.” He spoke, ignoring your rushed explanation. You gaped at him for a moment, mind going blank. Until, he shifted his eyebrow up again, watching you expectantly. “Oh-” You tried to bite back the heat in your cheeks at your delay. Shuffling yourself further into the corner, Draco was quick to place himself next to you, swinging his legs onto the ledge with an exhale of relief. You were close, again. Very close. Usually, Draco would sit at the other end of the ledge, like he had been before. And whilst you’d been close a number of times now, lingering tension caused you to freeze up. It must have been obvious, though, as Draco turned his head to throw you a disbelieving glare. He spoke with a scoff. “Merlin, you’re getting shy now?” “You’re the one that made it bloody awkward, you arse.” Shooting back a reply, you refused to look at him, but still sent a glare in his direction as you folded your arms. You could almost feel the roll of his eyes, but then he had slung his arm around you. Tugging you into the crook of your elbow, you fell into him. Heart jumping, you managed to push the tension anyway and soon relaxed into him. Draco rested his chin on your head, as always. Melting into him was easier than breathing. It was surprising how you’d become so comfortable wrapped in his arms. “Draco?” You mumbled, after a moment, voice muffled by his shirt. He replied with a simple hum, chest rumbling under your head. Thumb sweeping over your shoulder, a small shiver ran down your spine, and you allowed your eyes to sink shut. “Thank you.” His breathing paused - prompting your heart to follow suit. The gap between your words and his reply stretched out so long that you expected him to say something unexpected. But, then, he pulled you in the tiniest bit tighter, and you felt the faint brush of his lips over the crown of your head. Your entire body squeezed with adoration. It was the only reply you needed. Body heavy, fatigue hit you very abruptly, and you let silence consume you. Silence, all except the dull throb of his beating heart. You’d stay there, folded into his chest, forever, if he asked.
Everything was… hazy. It was an odd feeling of pure serenity. Breathing in, breathing out. Draco’s cologne - that was the only thing you could make out. It was so distinctive, so particular, and it only made you feel even more relaxed. Then, you felt it. The dull throbbing in your head, and the ache of your muscles. Awake. You were awake. Your eyelids felt heavy, and you allowed them to stay shut for a moment. The way your thoughts shifted around in your head was foggy as you attempted to figure out where you were, or what had happened. Exerting yourself into your memories, however, only proved painful. Draco - I was going to meet Draco. After a second longer of attempting to decipher your surroundings you gave up, flicking your eyes open. The classroom. Opening your eyes had only added to the pain, but you stopped yourself from letting them sink shut. The edges of your vision was still a little blurred, but you could make out in general the desks surrounding you. You’d been settled at the window ledge. It was your usual position, now that you and Draco had stopped using the room as a place to practice Legilimency as much, and more as a hangout. The ledge was wide, large enough to fit the both of you, and though the windows were stained, it gave you a small, one way view of the grounds through a crack in the glass. Blinking, feeling within your body had gradually began to return to you, allowing you to recognise someone else’s touch on yours. There was a cool, pale hand, resting atop of yours. You blinked again. The buzzing within your ears was more or less gone, and you finally came to search the figure slouched in front of you. Draco. He sat, head drooping - falling asleep, by the looks of it. The last of the light of day bounced off of him, almost making him glow, hair messy and eyes twitching, but closed. Any murmur of returning panic in your chest dissipated at the sight of him. Your first instinct was to squeeze his hand - let him know you’d woken up - but you froze. Up until now, it hadn’t occurred to you why you had woken up in the classroom, in the middle of the evening. Or, perhaps, you’d ignored it, not wanting to recall any of what had happened in the corridor. But now, watching Draco drift into a light sleep, the memories had hit you square in the chest. A jolt of panic shot through you, despite your safe surroundings, and you glared down at your left arm. Shirt sleeve fastened, no sign of blood. In fact, the only sign of anything wrong with you was the now much more distant pain in your head. You came to glance at Draco, again. His hand twitched on yours, and almost instinctively, you wrapped your fingers around it. Draco blinked. His head snapped up. The grey of his eyes were misty with sleep, for a moment, before it cleared at the sight of you. Any peace that once settled between you, was about to be broken. “Y/N-” Draco surged forward, arms coming to wrap around you before you could even utter a greeting. “Draco-” His name left you in the form of a half wheeze, half grimace, bones still heavy as he squeezed you tight. Your heart leapt into overdrive at his touch, freezing, body still on the defensive with recent memories lingering in your head. Draco seemed to notice your pause however, withdrawing - his hands, however, lingered at your shoulders, eyes searching your expression. “How do you feel?” You only stared at him for a second, swallowing. It was painful, really, the way that Draco’s touch would usually be so comforting. Any other day, you would have found it hilarious how stone cold Draco Malfoy had practically thrown himself at you. Now, though, it only prompted the return of that stabbing panic. “I - er-” You continued staring at him, until a flicker of realisation flashed across his features. Snatching his hands away from you, you let out a short breath, forcing your lips to twitch upward. “Sorry.” You mumbled, gaze flickering from Draco to your lap. “Don’t be stupid.” Draco said, firm. His jaw clenched in the slightest, eyes not shifting from yours once. “I should know better.” The words hit your gut uncomfortably. Another reminder to you that you hadn’t been the only one to grow to expect pain, even from those you trusted. Heart squeezing, you fixed him with a softer look. “I feel alright.” You spoke, quick to change the subject as you tugged at your sleeve. “Bit of a headache, that’s all.” Draco’s brow drew in a little, but he didn’t speak, continuing to watch you with a careful glint in his eye. “You lost a lot of blood.” Voice strained, he grimaced. “Are you sure?” “Yes, Draco.” Your lips pulled up again. “Madam Pomfrey knows the spell well, by now. I just needed time to… re-cooperate.” His eyes flashed, and you paused. “Youdid take me to the hospital wing, right?” You asked, then, slowly. Draco remained silent, and you faltered, a sense of concern flooding over you. “Draco, what happened?” “No.” He stated, almost before you could finish speaking, fixing you with a glare. “I need you to tell me what happened first, before I go mental.” Another flash of anxiety flooded through you, chest freezing up at the memories. Potter’s expression in your mind was a little blurred - but stained red, painful and red. “I-” Your voice stumbled. Draco’s hand twitched in his lap, and you nearly reached out to take it into yours. “I don’t think you want to know.” His gaze became a little softer, yet a little harder, all at once. “Trust me. I want to know.” Eyes falling away from him, you remained silent. Fear sat, lodged in your rib cage, making it hard to breathe again. Being on your own for so long, you’d gotten used to things happening and being able to move on from them quick enough for you not to have to process them. You’d gotten used to no-one really caring. With the way he looked at you, though, you knew now. You knew now that someone did. You must have hesitated too long, as Draco was quick to speak again. “Did someone see your arm?” Growing rigid, your jaw clenched. Still, you offered him a quick nod, unable to look at him and his intense eyes. “Who?” Still not meeting his gaze, you became only more reluctant to explain anything. Knowing Draco - and especially his hatred for the person in question - he would only get angry. And, right now, you did not want to have to deal with angry. “Y/N.” There was a slight warning in Draco’s tone this time, and you finally shot a look in his direction. Grey eyes a shade darker, there was already a spark of despise gathering within them, and your throat felt rough as you spoke. “Potter.” It didn’t take seconds before you could tell - Draco waslivid. His hands curled into tight, white balls, jaw clenched. Swallowing, he dragged his eyes off of you altogether, and your heart throbbed with anxiety. “Don’t get mad.” You whispered, your shaky breath unexpected - but it caused Draco’s eyes to flicker back to you instantly. “Not right now. Please.” Something in his features tightened even further - attempting to hold back a barrage of rage, no doubt - but then he let out a short breath, remaining seated. You began to attempt an explanation before he could do anything stupid. “He wanted me to prove I wasn’t - I wasn’t- that I don’t have a mark.” “And he left you there?” Draco’s voice was forced, anger barely restrained within his tone. Worry rising within you, you shook your head, panicked. “He didn’t see me bleeding. He didn’t know.” You sounded almost desperate, pleading. “He’d disarmed me so I couldn’t - I couldn’t get my wand and then I -” A shaking gasp escaped you, eyes pricking with hot tears that you didn’t even feel tickling the back of your throat. Draco stilled, staring at you with that twitching hand again. But, you only swallowed, blinking back the tears before he could spot them. He must have already, though, because he was practically vibrating with rage beside you, so much that you didn’t care about your own terror. Your hand shot out, grasping his shaking hand in yours. “Draco. I’m alright.” “Alright?” Draco hissed, unable to even attempt to hide his anger this time. “I found you in a pool of your own fucking blood, Y/N!” You flinched. Draco softened at the shift in your demeanour, falling silent for a brief moment. Swallowing, he relaxed himself a little, shoulders slumping back down a little - only for them to tense again. “You were bleeding still, so I used the spell-” “Youwhat?” “I used the spell, to stop it, but you weren’t waking up-” “No, Draco, slow down.” You stared up at him, heart practically stumbling into cardiac arrest at this point. “You used thespell?” His lips dug down into a frown. “That’s what I just said, isn’t it?” An eyebrow flicked up, in a habitual manner. He remembered my spell? And he got it right first try? That’s - that’s- Your mind was going way too quick for you to comprehend. It felt as though everything around you had frozen, everything except for him. But then, Draco continued. “Anyway, you didn’t wake up, so I brought you here. Before anyone could see.” Still staring at him, he looked back, scowling. You had his hand tight in yours, heart going at a rate that couldn’t be healthy after passing out for so long. It was taking everything, everything, in you not to grab him by that loosened tie around his neck and kiss that stupid look off of his face. “You idiot.” What? “What?” Draco had arched an eyebrow again. Of all the things that crossed your mind, those were the words you’d managed to choose? “You - you used my spell? The one you’ve heard me say, like, twice?” The words stumbled out of your mouth, messy and drenched with disbelief. “And then you carried me here?” Draco still looked as equally as confused as you. “Well, yeah.” Another frown. “I don’t see how that makes me an idiot.” “It’s crazy, Draco!” You exclaimed, eyes wide. “You’re bloody crazy!” “I don’t follow.” He narrowed his eyes. “Are you getting mad because I saved your life?” “No-” You gasped out, heart pounding. “No, I just - why would you do that?” “What was I supposed to have done, Y/N?” Draco growled, an incredulous look spreading across his face. “Leave you to bleed out?” Draco Malfoy never ceased to amaze you. You fell silent, staring at each other. His hand was still wrapped in yours, and your heart was still racing. Because, he had came and looked for you when you hadn’t shown up. Because he remembered a spell that you’d barely even spoken about, and stayed with you for however long you had been unconscious for, when he didn’t have to. He easily could have just gotten someone to take you to the hospital wing - he easily could have never given a second thought about why you’d never turned up for your meeting. Because, the light was still making him look too fucking beautiful, with his sharp features and sweeping statements and Merlin, you were totally, and utterly fucked when it came to him. Before you could stop yourself, you grasped at the back of Draco’s neck, pulled him in, and kissed him.
A/N: aaa okay so heres the next chapter! ive been lowkey stressed about posting this chapter as it took a lot to write, but i hope you enjoy it.. thank you so so so much for the increased support from everyone, if i havent replied to a comment dw i do read them! they literally transform my day no matter how i feel, so yeah just thank you. lotsa love - ivy
warnings: language, strong descriptions of ptsd/reliving bad memories, graphic descriptions of deep cuts and bleeding
January and February, after the first meeting of the year, passed by quiet. Draco’s state was getting worse. Every time you’d see him, even when you’d met twice a week, something about him was growing… darker. Sometimes it wasn’t just the bags under his eyes, or the sharpness of his cheekbones. Sometimes it was the way his tone never lifted out of the monotonous state he tended to abandon around you. Sometimes it was the way he could hardly hold a conversation, or the anxiety would overwhelm him and you’d have to sit with him tucked into your chest, praying that his breathing would settle soon. But, somehow, within the misery that hung over the two of you, you also managed to find the friend you had waited so long for. Draco was funny. Dry, and witty, and frustratingly funny. The things that he’d say as a passing comment could make you double over in laughter. You’d always find his lips shooting up into that wicked grin you’d grown to adore. That smile was something you’d find few and far between, and its rarity only settled it closer to your heart. He was smart, too - a lot less stupid that he made himself out to be. Draco could easily give Granger a run for her money, if he wanted to. He had a secret passion for Muggle literature. Something, which you found out totally by mistake - and continued to bring up at any given opportunity just to annoy him. To your utter shock, Draco also played piano. He’d described an organ, back in Malfoy Manor. His parents would usually enchant to play by itself - but, his mother had still taken it upon herself to teach him how to play it when he was a child. The insights he offered you into his life were quite frankly fascinating. It was still odd. The dynamic between you was never quite settled; impermanent. There were little things you found yourself holding onto. Like his smile, or the way he frowned when he listened to you talk, as though he was really focusing on your words. Since your realisation at the beginning of the year, your affections for Draco had only grown. Most of the time, you’d manage to ignore it, only swallowing back the flutters in your chest. Because there was no way you could fancy Draco Malfoy. There was no way he would ever reciprocate, and there was no way it could ever work between you even if he did. And, it was nice. Being friends with someone. You could cope with the darkness he carried. You could cope with pushing away any indication of your developing attachment to him. Having someone to talk to, to even just be around - complicated or not - was a privilege you had never had. But, as much as you attempted to ignore it, the tension at Hogwarts was also getting a lot worse. Trying not to think about what would happen when you had to return home at the end of the year was difficult. Even the idea of having that mark on your arm was sickening. You didn’t even want to acknowledge the fact that to take it, you would have to expose the mark that already sat on your forearm. Most likely, to the Dark Lord himself. The glares got worse. The comments got more threatening. Walking the corridors was not safe for you. Not when your parents had killed so many families of the students around you. It hadn’t exactly been before, but now, with that suffocating atmosphere, it had only gotten worse. Keeping a firm grip on your wand at all times was second nature, at this point. You had been on your way to a meeting with Draco when your fears became too real. The feeling of someone following you had been tugging at your conscious for most of the day. But then, most people were watching you, anyway, eyes lingering on you in every hall or classroom you passed through. So, you’d only shrugged it off as your paranoia overreacting. It was still light. With winter beginning to pass, the nights were growing shorter. Weekly trips to the classroom were no longer spent in the dark, much to your appreciation. Just as you reached the last staircase leading to the third floor, it jumped into action. It swung away from your destination, and you ground your teeth, hanging onto the railings. Again, you only passed your mistake off as a busy mind - until you glanced behind you. The previous staircase had also moved. A distinct dread began to poison your gut. With the piece of staircase behind you gone, your only choice was to progress onto wherever this one would take you. You swallowed, staring up as the stairs docked. It lead onto a one-way corridor, a piece of the castle that was rarely used, and a quiver ran over your hand as you wrapped your fingers around your wand. Slipping it from your back pocket, you finally shifted. Someone wanted you in that corridor. Someone wanted you cornered. The second you stepped off of the stairs, it jolted away from you, only confirming your assumption. Stranded in the corridor, the lack of windows cast an eerie shadow down its length. There was only two classrooms coming off the sides, and one at the end - most likely locked, with a spell more powerful than ’alohamora’ would fix. Edging forwards, you flung your eyes around you. Your heart was thudding dangerously in your chest - it was currently dinner. No one would be around to help if something happened, assuming anyone would help you. Draco was unlikely to come searching for you if you turned up late, waiting on the opposite side of the moving staircases. You only hoped you could reach the stairs before something bad could happen to you. Pausing, your eyes met the end doorway. It was ajar. You pressed yourself against the wall as you shifted closer - the opening only offered to show you a slice of darkness within. Someone could be, however, waiting for you inside. Hoping your curiosity would get the better of you. Preparing to jump you. Setting your wand upright and poised, you lifted your hand, before shoving the door open. Only, before you could get a glimpse inside, it had slammed shut in your face. You stumbled back a couple steps, true panic setting in. “Was it you?” A voice came from behind you. You’d walked straight into a trap. Taking in a shuddering breath, you spun to face the voice. A flicker of your brow, and you stared at the figure blocking the end of the corridor. “Potter?” He had emerged from one of the classrooms either side of you, wand clenched in his fist and eyes hard. Stupid, you’re so stupid, you should have checked. “Was it you, Y/N?” Harry repeated, watching you with an unpredictable atmosphere to him. “Did you curse the necklace?” It took a second for any words to form on your lips. Your mind was going to into overdrive. Harry would not hurt you intentionally, you knew that much - he wasn’t that type of person. But what he could do unintentionally… “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said. Attempting to appeal to whatever friendship you’d had last year, you kept your voice as clear and honest as you could. Harry, however, did not shift. “It was you, or Malfoy.” His voice lilted with questioning, and your jaw tightened. You had to remind yourself to keep breathing, act natural, even at the mention of Draco. Shit, what the fuck has Draco been doing? I know it’s bad - it’s the Dark Lord - but Merlin, if Harry is involved… “I said,” You forced an eyebrow up at Harry in emphasis. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Voice gruff, relief flooded through you. You’d managed to keep your composition. There was a million scenarios involving Draco running through your mind, and you bit back a shudder. “Then prove you’re not one of them.” Shit. Harry had gestured to your arm with his wand. You grew rigid in terror, a shaking whisper falling from your lips before you could swallow it back. “What?” “Show me your arm, and prove to me you’re not a Deatheater.” Harry said, voice a lot more forceful than before. No, no. No, this can’t be happening - he wouldn’t - he can’t - “I don’t have to prove anything to you, Potter.” You spat - but there was no denying the quiver in your words. Sickness curling in the pit of your stomach, you clutched your wand, scrutinising Harry’s every little movement. He shifted. It was so, so slight. Maybe he was moving towards you, maybe he was only adjusting his stance. It didn’t matter, because before you could think, you raised your wand and shouted the first thing that came to mind. “Stupify-” “Expelliarmus!” You could only watch in utter horror as your wand flew through the air and clattered to the ground. All the way at the other end of the corridor. Behind Harry. No, no, no- You couldn’t move. Frozen. It was as though you were in that cupboard again. Crushed against the wall, watching as two boys enchanted a blade and laughed at the way you choked for breath. “It’s okay, Deatheater. You’re going to get your mark soon.” Harry was moving towards you now. You stumbled, falling back against the door, hands coming to press down on the handle. Locked. No escape. Breathing frantic, you could only stare at Harry with wide, angry eyes. You didn’t speak as he grabbed your left arm, pulling it out in front of you. No, you didn’t even struggle. You were still in that fucking broom cupboard. Harry’s fingers burnt horribly against your skin, pushing up your sleeve. His eyes lingered on you as he did so, long enough to make your skin crawl. Then, he looked down. It burnt. Burnt, as though Harry had struck a match and put it to your flesh. He came to stare at you again, falling a few strides away from you as you snatched your arm back to your chest. You wanted to shout - no, scream at him, but you could do nothing but hold in the gasps of pain. Harry hadn’t seen the blood. He hadn’t seen the way the cuts had began to tear open, slowly. Excruciatingly. “Get thefuckaway from me.” It was hardly a whisper - more some inhuman, animalistic snarl. It was all you could manage. The flames were growing hotter and hotter and you’d forgotten how to breath. My wand. I need my wand. “Y/N - I’m so sorry - I-” “Go!” Something in Harry managed to click, seeing your contorted expression. With one last, horrified look, he turned and rushed away, the stairs swinging back to greet him as he did. The second he was out of sight, you let out a shuddering breath, daring a glance down to the state of your arm. Blood was already spilling down your fingers. It seeped into the fabric of your shirt, like the sea lapping at the shore - but bloodier, and a lot more sickening. “How does it feel to bleed, Deatheater? I bet you’re fucking enjoying it, you sicko, just like your parents did.” An involuntary whimper escaped you, unable to contain it with your mind so hazy from panic and pain. Agony was lacing its way up your arm and through your entire body, and you had to remind yourself - your wand. I need my wand. Staggering forward, you focused your gaze on your wand at the end of the corridor. Blood was spilling steadily onto floor, staining your shirt, but you refused to acknowledge it. Groans escaped your throat, scalding pain cutting deeper and deeper into your skin. Feeling the liquid thick on your hands, you, almost instinctively, gave it another look. Your entire sleeve was coated in red. An overwhelming nausea hit your gut. Falling against the wall, you desperately attempted to get your breath, but it only came in short pants. You’d barely made it halfway down the corridor. Harry had taken too long to leave, given the cuts too much time to reopen before the worst kicked in. Last time, with Draco, the reaction had been quick and easy. This time, you were alone, and wandless. Head spinning, you attempted to choke down a deep breath, and pushed forward. Everything was starting to blur a little, your head a spinning mess of thoughts. You couldn’t focus. Tired. You felt so tired. You were close. You were so close to grabbing your wand, hands slick with blood as you stretched out your arm, shaking. Another step - a stumble. Your entire body crashed to floor. There was a terrible, harsh blow to the side of your head. Your ears filled with a high buzzing, sight wavering as you stared from your wand only inches away from you, to your left arm. Ten letters, red and clear. Tears rolled down your cheeks, but you didn’t recognise them. It hurt, it hurt so bad, you couldn’t think, couldn’t breath. It was all a blur, really. A blur of torments and whispers. A blur of blade against skin. “Deatheater.” “Y/N? Y/N-”
You never thought you’d ever say it, but you had missed Draco Malfoy. The last two weeks before Christmas sped by uncomfortably quick. Your last two Occlumency lessons with Draco had gone by uneventful, but within them, you’d got along surprisingly well. The previous rounds of insults thrown back and forth had simmered into a good humoured teasing. In fact, you’d managed to have a few actual conversations with Draco with the hours you spent at the Classroom, between your attempts of Occlumency. It turned out that Draco was better at Astronomy than you - you made it clear that you were more than irritated about that. But, you’d also learnt, that unlike his father, Draco actually wanted to work after graduating. Behind the facade that was Malfoy, you were beginning to see a whole other person. By the time Christmas break had arrived, you were particularly worried about him returning home with the state he was already in. Whilst he didn’t reveal much about what was actually happening within the walls of Malfoy Manor, you’d already guessed it was… Bad. If his worsening attitude was anything to go by, whatever happened there was not something you even wanted to imagine. The fear for yourself only occurred to you as you sat on the Hogwarts Express. Staring out the window, surrounded by elated students excited to see their family, you felt out of place. The atmosphere was such a juxtaposition to your mood it was almost ironic. It did, however, give you a sad sense of comfort that Draco must have felt much the same way. At least you were sat alone, and could wallow in your misery. The journey back did not offer you the relief you had sworn it would do. Anxiety itched underneath your skin as you finally arrived back at Hogwarts. Stepping out onto the platform, you instantly swept your surroundings for a tall, platinum blonde, dressed in all black. It was with a pang of nausea, that you realised he was nowhere to be found. Thankfully, you’d managed to spot him sitting further up the table with Parkinson and Zabini during the feast. From where you were sat, you couldn’t make out any major injury, or harm. From then, you attempted to put your concern for Draco on the back burner. He was alive, and safe, back at Hogwarts. For now. Ignoring the worry, however, only caused you a great deal of reluctance to go to the usual classroom on the first Thursday back. Throat dry, you stared at the worn wood of the door for a second longer than normal before you finally pushed it open. It was familiar, the feeling of stepping into the room, and it eased you, even if it was the slightest. Yet, the sight of him already sat on his chosen desk by the window only filled you with a conflict of comfort and trepidation. “Y/N,” Draco drawled, a crooked grin settled into his features. You turned from locking the door wordlessly, keeping your expression plain. “You survived Christmas, then?” Survived is one way to put it. You offered him a shrug. “You look better than I expected.” Your mutter prompted his previous, somewhat easy expression, to falter. It didn’t, however, fall. “I’ll take it as a compliment.” Your next words left you before you could even consider them. “Well, I didn’t mean it as one.” Being a bitch, much? What the fuck was that, Y/N? Because, there was no teasing edge. There was no hidden warmth. Your voice was cold, poised, a voice you hadn’t used toward Draco in a long time. Draco’s face fell, this time. Narrowing his eyes, he started to search your figure - but then he was jumping up and towards you with a very, very stern look. Your chest tightened, stumbling away instinctively. “What’s wrong with you?” He demanded, grey eyes piercing as you forced a glare at him. Still tired, you noted. A lot more tired than before Christmas, from how sunken his features were, but not ill. “Nothing is wrong with me, Malfoy-” Your growl trailed into nothing. You hadn’t seriously used his surname since the conversation you’d had at the Astronomy Tower. Draco’s eyes flashed, but you just took a breath, attempting to soften your features. “Draco. I’m fine. You’re overreacting.” His jaw tightened, gaze still not shifting away from you. Scrutinising. “Don’t lie to me.” His tone was firm, but not hostile. “You look like you’re about to drop dead, you have done all week. And now you’re not acting like yourself.” You exhaled through your nose, eyes tired as they settled anywhere that wasn’t him. “I’m tired. Long break.” Burning, you could feel his glare still on you, but he remained silent. Until, you heard a faint mumble - then, a harsh pressure was grasping at your mind. Giving yourself no time to panic, you threw it back, turning your wide eyes on him. Draco only stared back, looking just as shocked - or offended - and then there was a second surge. You held it off with an ease that surprised both you and Draco, noting the annoyance that flitted over his features. His wand dropped from where it was once grasped and directed towards you, scowling. He had tried to use Legilimency. “Don’t you fucking do that again!” You snapped, heart rate picking up now that the threat was gone, panicking. “How the fuck did you keep me out?” Draco ignored your outcry, staring at you with a hard expression. Frustration balled in your chest at his dismissal. “Does it matter? You growled. "You can’t just look through my memories whenever you feel like it, Draco!” “I can when you’re acting like a twat,” He threw back, meeting your eyes, unwavering. “And won’t tell me that something has happened when it obviouslyhas.” “Did it ever occur to you that I don’t want you to know everything?” Your voice strained, you swallowed, throat raw. “Why?” Draco demanded, eyes stormy. “What happened?” You stared at him. Merlin, I forgot how much of dick he can be. “Because I’m a person, Draco, and I don’t like everyone knowing my own business?” You raised an eyebrow incredulously, head throbbing. You were too tired, too tired for one of Draco’s episodes. “How would you feel if I demanded to know everything you got up to?” Draco’s face dropped into a sudden vacancy, the one he would so often wear. “That’s different.” “Different?” You scoffed, only to let out a sigh, placing a hand on your forehead as you attempted to swallow back the rising insults in your throat. “It’s really not. You’re just too stubborn to admit you’re pissed off that I can keep you out now.” Another second of awful, tense silence. You readied yourself for a second attack on your thoughts - but it never came. “Tell me what happened, or we’re not meeting again.” You would have preferred your expectations. Pulling your hand away from your face, you stared at him, hoping the horror creeping up on you didn’t show on your expression. “That’s - that’s - what?” “You just proved to me you can perform Occlumency.” Draco’s face was as set as his tone, shrugging. “It’s not necessary for us to meet anymore.” Your body was a lot colder than before. It started in your chest, ice spreading jolting your heart to stop, then your stomach as it made a heavy drop. You thought things had changed, you thought that maybe, just maybe, Draco had changed. But his face was emotionless. “You-” You couldn’t stop your voice from wobbling, and you had to swallow to regain any sense of control over it. “You don’t mean that.” “How do you know?” Draco only raised an eyebrow, and you dragged your eyes off of him. You couldn’t look at that dead expression anymore. “Right. So everything that happened before Christmas was all just bullshit, then?” Tears had begun to gather in the back of your throat, voice breaking as you spoke. “Y/N-” “No, Draco, it’s fine. It’s all perfectly fucking fine.” Your control over your emotions was failing. Merlin, you were just so tired, exhausted, and the one person that could offer you any sense of comfort was doing the complete opposite. “You can give up the act now, if you want.” “Stop it.” Draco’s voice wasn’t harsh despite his words, more of a sigh. He took a small step towards you, but you still couldn’t look up at him, your mind buzzing. “Can you please just tell me what happened to you over Christmas?” You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was. The sudden soft edge to his tone, the threat of him leaving, your exhaustion. The crushing weight of your burden. But the tears were coming steady, and you spoke with a broken voice. “I have to take the mark, Draco.” He was silent, but you still didn’t look up at him, gradually beginning to shake and cry heavier. “In exchange for my parents - being broken out -” Draco was crossing the room and pulling you into a hug before you could even register the fact he had moved. This time, you didn’t even flinch, wrapping your arms around his torso and burying your head deep into his chest. Draco’s hand rested over the back of your head, fingers pulling through your hair. Yet, whilst he wasn’t speaking, or making any noise at all, it was better than any words of comfort anyone could have offered you. And,Merlin, had you missedhim. What he had said didn’t matter. Not now, with his arms so tight around you, letting you sob into a shirt you were pretty sure was worth more than your entire wardrobe. You remained there, for a while, standing in his embrace until the sobs died down - but even then, Draco didn’t pull back. “I’m sorry.” You mumbled, into the material covering his chest, and his grip tightened a little. “Don’t.” You fell quiet again, for a moment. “Lestrange - came on Christmas Eve.” You finally began, still muffled. “Made me bargain with her. I take the - the mark. My parents get freed.” Draco shifted, pulling back a little to look down at you, hands remaining on your shoulders. You took a moment to stare up at him, only to note his jaw had clenched again. “They already had plans to break them out.” He muttered, the grey of his eyes stormy. “Oh, I guessed.” Your lips pulled into a bitter smile. “That was more of a… cover up. She had other means of - of - well, persuasion.” You couldn’t stop the shudder that ran through you, and you knew Draco felt it too. His fingers dug in more than before, prompting your heart to squeeze - with anxiety, or adoration, you weren’t sure. It took you a second to look at him again, but you eventually found them searching you, frantic. Rage etched itself into his expression, and you found yourself bringing your hands up to rest them either side of his face. His gaze snapped back up, a lot more gentle as they met yours. “I’m okay.” You murmured, but his eyes sunk shut, a deep sigh falling from his lips. “No, you’re not.” A sad smile pulled at your lips - only for the sudden realisation of how close you were to hit you square in the chest. You could trace every little dip and edge of his features, and a breath caught in your throat as your gaze slipped down to his lips. Still dragged down in the slightest, it took a moment for you to recognise the very overwhelming desire to kiss him. Terrified, you frantically pushed yourself away from him. Draco’s eyes snapped back open at the sudden movement. However, he did not question it as you tugged at your sleeves, cursing yourself. Those feelings you’d shoved down in your chest. The ones you’d forbidden, the ones that you chose not to describe. They’d resurfaced so suddenly that it felt as though they were choking you, heart lodged in your throat. You couldn’t deny it anymore - that you were very, and overwhelmingly, smitten. With Draco Malfoy. Draco Malfoy? Draco fucking Malfoy? You have got to be kidding me. “Why weren’t you going to tell me?” The question managed to retrieve you from your thoughts, and you flicked a look back at him. He was staring at you, rather intently, hands balled in his pockets. “I-” A faint scowl painted your features, avoiding his eyes again. “Well, I didn’t want to make you any more stressed. You’re dealing with your own shit.” “That’s… oddly considerate.” Tone teasing, you flashing him a quick look. “Ido worry about you, Draco.” You lingered your eyes on his for a moment, and they flickered at your admission. “Especially when you don’t tell me anything.” “Please, don’t.” His voice hardened, despite the tinge of warmth in the grey of his eyes. “I don’t want you involved, and I don’t want you to worry about me.” “I know.” You said, quickly, hoping the bitter pang of rejection in your chest didn’t resonate within your expression. “Just - Please keep showing up to these meetings. Even if you don’t teach me Occlumency anymore.” “You know I didn’t mean it.” Draco’s lips tugged down. Meeting your gaze, he swallowed, before speaking again, much more hesitant. “And I don’t act. Around you.” You were close to letting out a disbelieving laugh. With that constant deadpan expression, there was no way Draco didn’t act around you. But, the way he had spoken, so hushed, but open - it struck a chord within you. You understood what he was trying to say, really. It wasn’t bullshit. None of it was bullshit. “How did you manage to get so much better at Occlumency, anyway?” Draco asked, breaking the silence. You hesitated. “Lestrange - she was searching for people to blackmail me with.” You mumbled, heart jumping as Draco stiffened. “She didn’t find you. I managed to keep her away from finding anything with you in it.” Features slipping into an eased position, he nodded, eyes falling away from you. There was a type of tension that continued to linger, after that. You spent the rest of the session, sat together quietly, avoiding any true deep conversation. Draco didn’t bring up Christmas again, and you didn’t try to encourage him to speak any further about his own trials. You found a type of quiet within Draco that you thought didn’t exist. It wasn’t deafening, and it wasn’t overwhelming. Together, you could ignore what was really happening outside of those four walls. One day, you’d have to face it, you knew that. But, for now, you would enjoy the quiet.
indelicate marks: chapter nine - the constellation
A/N: back again with another chapter folks. i’m hoping to get all of indelicate marks posted by the time i have to go back to work (around 4th july by the looks of it) so updates may be increased a bit over the next couple weeks! all my love and enjoy!
warnings: language, indications of suicidal thoughts and mentions of death
It was one of those nights where Draco couldn’t get anything to work. He wasn’t sure what time it actually was - well past curfew, he knew that much. By the time he’d finally decided to leave the Room of Requirement, and give himself a break from working on the Vanishing Cabinet, exhaustion gnawed at his thoughts. He knew by now, though, that sleeping wasn’t on the table. The minute his head would touch his pillow, his mind would be alight again, turning things over and over in his head until the mornings first light would begin to seep in through the window. And so, as he strolled through the darkness of the corridors, he allowed himself wander. Greeted with the cold air of mid-December, he bit back a shiver. Snow had already settled itself over the grounds, but its serenity only served as a harsh reminder for Draco. Fucking Vanishing Cabinet. I’ve got less than two weeks and I have nothing to tell the Dark Lord. Maybe pitching myself off the Astronomy Tower wasn’t such a bad idea. Ironically - that’s exactly where he found himself walking to. The stairway he climbed offered no more warmth than outside the curved walls, and he moved his legs quicker in hopes of keeping the feeling in them. Should have picked up a scarf before I decided to take a bloody jog at whatever time in the fucking morning it is. However, Draco paused as he reached the top platform. Someone stood at the very edge, peering over the railings, and for a moment, his heart jumped. At any minute, it looked as though they were about to throw themselves off into the darkness below - but then they pulled back, hands still wrapped around the metal railings. It was only when you shifted your head, allowing the light of the moon to bounce off of your features, that he recognised you. The sight of you resonated in that same feeling it always did, chest squeezing tight. He couldn’t help but feel an instant sense of ease wash over him as it did, remembering your last meeting. He hated the way he was growing warmer to you - one way or another, it was inevitably going to end bad for the both of you. But, it had been so long since he’d felt so comfortable around someone. After summer, even being around Pansy, Blaise and the others was grinding, exhausting, even. You, for some reason, still had that easy atmosphere he first noticed in the broom cupboard, and Draco was more than willing to be in it. “It’s a long way down.” You jumped, almost comical, when he finally spoke. Having to steady yourself by the railings, you spun to look at him, hand grasping at your chest as you took in a breath. “Bloodyhell, Malfoy,” You groaned, watching him as he moved away from the stairs. He came to stand by the edge with you, allowing the wind to pull some strands of his hair out of place. Draco found himself scanning your face, but other than the permanent bags under your eyes, you didn’t appear distressed. “Are you sure you’re not following me?” Scoffing, he rolled his eyes, hands resting in his pockets. “Don’t flatter yourself.” Despite his words, a harmless teasing tainted his tone, and you shot him a look, the twinkle within it equally reluctant. “Why are you up here? Contemplating offing yourself?” It was your turn to scoff at his bluntness. The way you hesitated to answer, however, spiked the concern that lingered in his chest. Draco’s lips dragged into a deep scowl, fixing you with a look. “Were you?” “No.” You retorted, glancing at him, but not quite in the eye. Your voice was quiet as you added - “Not tonight, anyway.” A pit of fear settled in his stomach. The idea that you might have done, or had felt temptation to before, was more sickening than Draco wanted to admit. Instead, he only continued to watch you without a reply. Something on your face was wistful as you stared into the distance, hair flicking about in the wind, cheeks red and eyes watery from the cold. You looked frustratingly attractive. The colour of your eyes stood out in the sheer moonlight, shadows casting your features sharper than usual. He tried to bite back the unsavoury thoughts intruding his mind - but the breath that caught in his throat? No, he couldn’t help that. “Worse ways to go, though.” You mumbled, and it took a second for Draco to process your words. Your gaze turned back to him, sending him a brief, halfhearted smile. Shifting, he shrugged. “I suppose.” Draco had seen too many people dragged to deaths door. Painfully. Bloodily. Going that same way at the hands of a certain wizard… It haunted him. It followed him into the night, into his dreams, stained his memories. Draco bit back a sudden grimace, flicking his eyes back over the railings, feeling even colder than before. Yes. There were a lotworse ways to go. “Why are you up here?” He found his gaze flickering back to you as you spoke, taking in your reserved expression. “Fancied a walk.” He said, and your lips straightened, disbelieving. Yet, you didn’t push for another answer, and Draco turned away from you and your pressurising eyes, peering up into the night sky. There was a short silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, like he would have imagined, but more settled. The wind whistled in his ears every so often, but other than that, it was quiet. It had to be one of the most quiet places in Hogwarts - calm, peaceful. Draco once thrived in loud places; being the centre of attention. Now, he couldn’t even stand the smallest of murmurs. “You’re up there.” Your words took him off guard, and he flicked a confused glance towards you. Lifting your arm, you pointed up towards a set of stars, to a very familiar constellation. Something in his chest made that same squeeze, and his lips curled up, casting his expression into one much more gentle than usual. It was his constellation. Draco. “That’s me.” Draco breathed, his tone a lot softer than he anticipated, earning him a look he didn’t meet. He spoke again, in a much more intentional, neutral voice. “So you like Astronomy, then?” “I spend a lot of time up here.” You admitted, squinting up at the sky again. “You can just make out the Big Dipper, to the left of you. The Little Dipper should be beneath you, but it’s not showing up very well tonight.” Draco, however, wasn’t looking up at the sky. He watched you, as you pointed out each constellation, your brow furrowed in the slightest as you searched the sky. When you finally turned your heard to look at him, you faltered, clearly not expecting him to already be looking your way. Something dulled in your eyes, before you spoke with a note of dejection. “You knew that already, didn’t you?” Draco couldn’t help but give you a small smile. “We learnt it in first year.” “Oh. Right.” You let out a breathy laugh, lips shooting a momentary smile. Beginning to avoid his gaze, Draco’s heart dropped. “I’d much rather hear you explain it than Professor Sinistra, though.” He added, quickly, and your previous expression seemed to melt away. Your mouth quirked up, into a much more genuine smile this time, eyes holding a teasing glint as you glimpsed at him. “You’re being oddly nice, Malfoy.” You searched him for a second. “What do I owe you?” “Just because we aren’t friends doesn’t mean we can’t be civil, Y/N.” Draco mimicked you, flicking his eyebrow up - but you only met him with a challenging smirk. “Y/N? First name basis now, too, are we?” Draco scoffed. “I think I’ve been in your head enough to call you by your first name.” He pointed out. You flattened your lips, giving him an admitting shrug. “I guess.” You paused, then. Eyes darting away from him only to return back, your ease dissipated before you spoke again, slower than before. “So we’re still… ‘Not Friends’?” Draco wasn’t expecting that. The teasing, yes. You’d become much more willing to give him as good as he gave you, over the weeks - but he hadn’t predicted that sudden change of tone. As always, you’d taken him by surprise. You were becoming restless under his guarded gaze, fidgeting with the tassels of your scarf. Were you friends? Draco, if he was honest, wasn’t all that sure. He’d seen your every vulnerable moment, he knew your every worry - he’d been inside your head for fucks sake. He knew you better than you most likely knew yourself, but there was a hesitation in his chest to accept it. Because you hadn’t actually spoken all that much. Argued, and teased, and dealt with each others shit, yes, but you’d never just sat and talked. Not properly. He’d felt your loneliness, within your memories, however. It was numbing and recognisable. It tugged at his lingering pity for you. But, it was also something he’d felt within himself too many times. Draco Malfoy had associates. Allies, if you will. He had a group of people he surrounded himself with, who understood each other and their social standing. The closest thing he knew to friendship was what he had with Pansy, and perhaps Blaise. But a friend? A true, genuine, friend? No. He had none of those. “Do you think we’re not 'Not Friends’?” Draco asked you, cautious. You hesitated, but your eyes held a subtle, gentle tone to them when they finally met his. “I think we’re not.” You murmured, brow shifting upward, giving you a considerate expression. “Not 'Not Friends’, I mean.” There was a pause, and then you gave him a soft frown. “This is getting confusing.” A smile tugged at Draco’s lips as one did yours. Oh, fucking hell. I must be going bloody soft. “So,Draco,” You said, seeming to shake off your previous hesitance as you straightened. Grinning, mischievous, you extended your arm to him. “Not 'Not Friends’?” Draco sighed, heavily. Shit. I really am going soft. He took your hand, and you shook it with a firm grip as he rolled his eyes at your confidence. “Not 'Not Friends’.” He said. Your eyes twinkled, even as he ripped his hand away from yours and turned back to the barriers. Settling yourself beside him, he could practically feel the waves of pure satisfaction rolling off of you. “You’re acting like a Hufflepuff again.” He shot you a quick glare. “Are you sure you weren’t sorted into the wrong house?” “Steady, Draco. We may be not 'Not Friends’ now but that doesn’t mean I won’t try and disintegrate you again.” “I fucking knew it! 'I’m sorry I nearly burnt you’ my arse.” You stood there, talking, shivering, until the morning light spilled over the horizon. And Draco didn’t feel tired once.
