Like especially for sources that aren’t that common or well known. Sometimes even well known ones can be hard to find at times. I’ve been thinking of finding a sourcemates blog or making one for myself to find others from the same source but idk.
Edd wants to find a sourcemate from his source, like Matt, Tom, Tord from Eddsworld etc.
Even our factive Edward wants to see his friends again. Like Tom (tomska), Matt, or Tord, even if it’s not from his world even another version of the counterparts would still be pretty cool.
Edward: Ok since we have another Edd in the system just call me Eddie Me: Ok Edd: and I stay Edd? Me: Ye
-a few days later-
Me: Edd you’re so cute eddie uWU Edd: I want to be Eddie now Edward: then what’s my name? Me: how about I finally call you Edd again and our cute little snowball over here can be Eddie cause he’s adorable!
Edward: Ok
-a few days later-
Edward: This is too confusing let’s go back to how it was before
So, of course me and Edward have our own blog we work on together, but for more personal and discoursey stuff (sometimes discourse) we’ll do all that in this blog. So, is there anything you guys wanna know about me or want me to blog about? For example, info on all my headmates, my system name, anything you want me to add to the blog like submission and such? Or if you wanna ask me any asks you can also do that because the ask box is open. Anyway yeah. All that will help me get this blog thing thriving as well. I’m planning to change my background to like a background of all of us together that’d be pretty cool oml but I’m just not in the drawing mood at all which really sucks.
A system that isn’t in your head? Yeah, that’s us.
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So yeah! Let’s talk about that.
Our system is external. I am obviously alive, and live within my body. And this is our body, because we are a system and live this life together-
But, they don’t reside in this body, they don’t reside in my brain. They exist outside of my brain as what I prefer to call spirits, or electromagnetic entities.
Funnily enough, I never actually believed in that being possible years ago. I actually didn’t feel comfortable with spirituality in any sense, saw it all as a delusion.
But then, they started to be very.. Aware of things they shouldn’t, if they exist in my head strictly.
I could list dozens of examples, but I do half expect to be seen as crazy for them and I also just don’t want to ramble forever. /j
But I will say they were little things. Things that if I was told to go somewhere by them, it’d happen to have things I was looking for on sale. Or even things like my games and internet connection being messed with. If anyone ever wants explicit examples, I’ll post about them or you can message us.
(And all that, reading back, admittedly sounds like a haunting. Which is really funny.)
I ended up having to change my entire worldview to make sense of those experiences. It took a lot of theorizing, and every day we’re still figuring things out.
What I do believe for myself personally, though, is that my system is spirits, and that spirits just.. Exist. And that perhaps when people experience spiritual things, deity, haunting or otherwise, it’s on some level those spirits.
I also believe they’re damn everywhere, good and bad ones, just floating around on their own plane and existing. I have no idea about the specifics. Just that everyone here is someone that was just floating around, and eventually met me, and.. Decided to stay and either help, or just get to know me better through my life.
Despite me saying me, my, and I here, that’s just to separate what’s physical and what’s on that other plane right now. When they’re connected to this body, this is our life, this is our mind, this is our collective existence.
In fact, the lines of individual and collective blur heavily for our system outside of that one defining feature of me having a physical body, but I assure you we are still individuals. We just are connected by shared thoughts and feelings on a lot of things.
I am an extension of them. Who I am has always been partly influenced by them. And in turn, they are influenced by me, and learn from my own thoughts.
I’ve also been told some of them stayed to learn from me. Apparently they were aggressive, but I never knew how to be. So I taught them to be calmer, and they taught me to be more assertive.
Others apparently might have been following around parents of mine, or friends, before landing on us. Either way, we gradually ended up with this family of spirits. Spirits that connected to me and influenced, guided, and helped me throughout our life however they could- just in ways where I didn’t know they were there.
And one day, they wanted to be more than spirits, so they somehow got me to look at a tulpamancy post. And from there, I was “making” tulpas, later “splitting,” and even having “walk ins.”
But in actuality, it was them. Always was them. And from what I’m told, they were very happy to connect in a way where we could talk and know each other more than just me having a tomboy phase or me suddenly being into makeup.
There are so many things they were. And at times, they even suppressed their full memory (especially when on front, it’s a lot different fully in front, I still can’t fully explain or understand how or why) so when talking to me, they were my headmates. We were a psychological system.
But then my brain became altered in a way where I experience them so differently, they had to be honest. And it did initially make things awkward, finding out that they worked like that instead, but it also helped me make sense of things.
Communicating is still hard sometimes, because there are also negative spirits. And they like to talk over us, send us emotions, and talk as us while trying to convince us it’s us. They also mess with so many other things in my life.
However, we fight that by doing the same for each other, and also finding the positive in each other when those idiots are swirling around causing mayhem.
Which.. No, we can’t banish them, and no, we also can’t reform them. Maybe that will change later, but for now, we ignore them when we can, we laugh at or deal with them when we can’t. We deem some days bad mental health days because of them.
I sometimes wonder what it’d be like had this not happened, if we were how we were before, but.. I’m glad we’re not. I’m glad we’re making the friends we are, I’m glad we get to talk to all Sorts of spirits together now, I’m also just happy I can recognize when they’ve influenced something and thank them properly.
And while we may seem insane for it, while it all might seem ludicrous.. It’s our life. And it’s one I mentally and physically can’t question, so I might as well buckle in for the ride and experience it together.
And in the meantime, it’s given me so much time to ponder the world, how it works, my connection to the “spiritual,” what a thought is, and so many other things.
And I want to share them without fear of how we’ll be viewed, even if it’s negative, because they are our experiences and they are real.
As a small aside.. This does make our origins really hard to figure out, but endogenic and Metagenic make the most sense for us personally. It is spiritual aspects, but it’s been this way since I was born. I just didn’t know it was happening until much later.
Hi, hosts and frequent fronters! This one is for you.
You know, not every thought is solely your own. In systems, we’re all connected usually, with various amounts of awareness of what’s going on in front.
Because of this, you’d be surprised how many thoughts- even some that feel like your own- come from the back.
I personally decided to look at these kinds of situations as suggestions. They’re suggestions on how I should respond, what I should say, or how I should feel about a situation. It’s not always how I actually feel or think. Or, even if I agree, it’s not always right.
But because they’re suggestions, I don’t have to act on any of them.
What I do is just, pause, when I’m feeling or thinking something that’s important.
Did this thought come from me?
Can I feel out who it came from?
Am I really the one upset?
Does it make sense for me specifically to be upset at this? (Small aside: If someone is upset and overlayed with you, please try to send reassurances in their direction if possible.)
When I get my answers to this, I find I have better control of what I express in that moment. Sometimes others in the system even help me better articulate what’s really me in that moment. If it’s jumbled they help me word it better.
And of course, if it’s not my own thought but a good damn idea, I might as well express it. And often then I thank the person it came from, whoever it was.
All in all, We effectively, when in front, are the buffer between our system’s thoughts and feelings (our own included!) and reality.
Make sure what gets put out there is good.
It’s a big responsibility, but you can do it.
P.S.: It’s actually really, really helpful to look at what thoughts and “suggestions” come from where. I find it even helps me gain awareness of who my passives are in the moment and what I’m like as a person with my various passives. It can even be fun. I recommend it.
