Buzz Lightyear Instruction Manual

TITLE: Buzz Lightyear Instruction Manual
AUTHOR:Unknown
ORIGIN: Toy Story 3 (movie, 2010, directed by Lee Unkrich)

The instruction manual for the original Buzz Lightyear action figure, released in 1995, when short-sighted retailers did not order enough dolls to meet demand. The toy was based on the character from the cartoon series Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, a spinoff of the popular Lightyear movie trilogy from the 1980s. The manual covers basic operation of the toy: how to retract the visor, extend the wings, replace the batteries, the functions of the various buttons, and so on. Certain things are not explained especially well, however. For instance, contrary to what the manual states, “demo mode” does not reset the doll to its factory settings — a meaningless act in a toy with no customizable settings — but presumably limits its available actions to slow battery drain when on display. Similarly, the reset button serves no obvious purpose, though disobeying the manual’s unexplained warning to not hold it down for more than five seconds does switch the doll’s language settings to Spanish, a helpful feature that the manual perhaps should have mentioned.

I. Handbooks and manuals — Toys and games — Action figures
II. Handbooks and manuals — Pseudo-living creatures — Robots, AIs, and golems
III. Plot obstacles — Mental tampering — Troubling existential questions

For such a comparatively simple book, I spent an INORDINATELY LONG TIME making this one. I couldn’t find any images that were high-res and/or clear enough to suit me, either from screencaps or from the official replica that came with the extremely expensive Buzz figure from Chogokin, so I ended up making my own by painstakingly tracing over a low-res image. Of course, for full verisimilitude I printed it out and made my own booklet which I then took a picture of. What is wrong with me.

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Tobin’s Spirit Guide

TITLE: Tobin’s Spirit Guide
AUTHOR:John Horace Tobin
ORIGIN:Ghostbusters (movie, 1984, directed by Ivan Reitman)
EDITION:Ghostbusters, Volume 2, Issue 8 (comic book, 2013, published by IDW Publishing)

Considered the standard reference guide to known ghosts, goblins, spooks, specters, demons, and other supernatural entities. While the origins of the Guide are murky—Tobin was either an Oxford graduate who traveled extensively to research the supernatural, a Cambridge graduate who exposed fraudulent mediums, or the chronicler for a group of ageless beings from the beginning of time)—and it is unknown how Tobin managed to gain information on so many extremely dangerous creatures, it is generally agreed that it was researched in the early 1900s and first published in the 1920s, and its information is almost unfailingly accurate. Since then, despite its niche appeal it has been republished many times including leather-bound, hardcover, paperback, pocket, and very expensive electronic editions. The information it contains has occasionally been of use in saving the world.

I.Reference — Encyclopedias — The occult and supernatural
II.Reference — Bestiaries — Spirits and demons
III.Plot navigators — Tomes of exposition — So what are we dealing with here

While Tobin’s Spirit Guide is first mentioned in the original movie, it doesn’t actually show up on the big screen until Ghostbusters: Afterlife in 2021. It has, however, showed up in a variety of other material, starting with The Real Ghostbusters cartoon [1986-1991] and including several comics series, board games, video games, RPGs, and even an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. As I’m sure you can imagine the designs were rarely consistent, even those from a single source like the cartoon, but this one is fairly representative.

Screenshot from the cartoon:

Comic cover that was my primary design source:

Old Custer

TITLE:Old Custer
AUTHOR:Eli Cash
ORIGIN:The Royal Tenenbaums (movie, 2001, directed by Wes Anderson)

Everyone knows that Custer died at Little Big Horn. What this book presupposes is… what if he didn’t?

I. Fiction — Westerns — Problematic romanticization of racist tropes
II. Fiction — Alternate histories — The Old West
III. Serious Literature — Genre fiction with pretensions — Impressive-sounding words

And here we’ve got our first repeat offender with another book from The Royal Tenenbaums! Told you there’d be more. I’m spacing them out, but Wes Anderson’s got a LOT of these. Anyway, much like Family of Geniuses, this image originally came from the Criterion Collection 2012 gallery of the books and magazines by and about the film’s characters, archived here.

And… boy, is this cover a LOT more racist even than it appears at the quick glance of it you get in the movie, which is already pretty freaking racist. I mean, I guess that’s part of the point about the type of person and writer Eli is, but STILL.

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The Naughty and Nice List

TITLE:The Naughty and Nice List
AUTHOR:Santa Claus
ORIGIN:Christmas folklore; possibly the cartoons of Thomas Nast (1840-1902)
EDITION:Elf (movie, 2003, directed by Jon Favreau)

Every year, Santa Claus makes a list of all the children in the world (who celebrate Christmas, though that part is rarely specified), and designates them as “naughty” (not deserving of a present) or “nice” (deserving of a present, and often listing exactly what present is desired.) His precise methods of doing this are unclear. Possibilities include: Santa knowing the information instinctively and simply writing it down; parents writing letters reporting their children’s behavior, which then get sorted into “good” and “bad” piles; various technological means; or gathered automatically by nebulous “Christmas magic.” (Reports of Santa dispatching a small elven spy to each child’s house to report back on behavior are not considered credible.) Regardless, Santa himself is the one responsible for ultimately compiling the list, checking it twice, and using it to distribute the presents/coal to the children listed within.

This specific edition of the list is notable for being aloud on live television in order to prove to the world that Santa Claus is real. The effects on world economy, philosophy, and religion are as yet unknown.

I.Account books and ledgers — Actions and behaviors — Arbitrary moral judgments
II.Address books and directories — Every person on Earth — Christmas celebrants
III.Invasions of privacy — Sees you when you’re sleeping — Knows when you’re awake

This image was adapted from pictures of an original movie prop owned by Save Hollywood, with additional images posted by them to Prop Bay. And yes, I know this is going up on January 2, but by my count we’re only up to “ladies dancing” in the 12 days of Christmas so it still counts.

Screenshot:

Original prop: