#funnies
Jay: If you two are bored, get a dog.
Mitchell: Ok, we’re not bored, Dad. […]
Claire: I think what Dad is trying to say is that, Mitchell, you’re a little uptight, kids bring chaos, and you don’t handle it well.
Mitchell: That’s not what Dad’s saying, that’s what you’re saying and it’s insulting in a whole different way.
Modern Family. “Pilot”.
I don’t dance. I’m from the town in Footloose.
Nick Miller, New Girl. “Cece Crashes”.
Dan: I read this thing online about white savior complex, and I guess that’s me.
Mateo: Did you read the whole thing?
Dan: Wow. Dan, the White Savior.
Superstore. “Self-Care”.
Cheyenne: Do you think she’s planning to Gone GirlSandra?
Jonah: I think she’d have to Gone GirlJerry.
Justine: What’s the one with the girl on the train?
Jonah:The Girl on the Train?
Justine: Right. Maybe she’s gonna do that to Sandra.
Garrett: Put her on a train?
Marcus: Oh man, could you imagine?
*Sandra enters*
Sandra: Sorry I’m late, everybody.
Glenn: Oh, thank God! We thought you were on a train.
Superstore. “Testimonials”.
Liz: Hello, Beverly.
Bev: It’s just Bev, Liz. My mother died while naming me.
30 Rock. “Florida”.
I loved my mother, Lemon, obviously, because of Stockholm Syndrome.
Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock. “Florida”.
my friend freezes in place and looks me dead in the eye. she then proceeds to snap twice and ask, “moon furries??”
she was trying to think of the word werewolf
The saddest story ever written.
Thats what you get!
more of these. hi
Jurassic World Dominon Spoilers
