It’s an honor to get their support and as thanks, we’ve prepared a few optional sub-prompts made of The Itchyworms’ lyrics for a little extra inspiration. So… enjoy!
,21 • this post is finally going up! so I have been spending my time studying (ik I’m saying this for the 855724th bare w me) but I took some tests and I’m doing really good so yay for that! I just feel like I have been living the same day over and over and as much as I like to sticking to a routine and just doing my thing it does gets boring sometimes ;-; am I the only one feeling like it?
Have you heard the good word about the Pembrokeshire walrus yet?
This walrus is fucken lost.
But Wales has lost its collective shit about it. They’re generally keeping its location secret to keep people away, but we get updates every day if it’s still here, if it’s happy, if it’s healthy. We think it was in Ireland about two weeks ago, which is interesting, because it is not actually native to Ireland either. Why is it here? No one knows.
In attempting to climb aboard a dinghy in Tenby it capsized it.
It then proceeded to Tenby harbour where it tried to climb aboard a fishing boat.
Incredibly, this is not an April Fools
Today on English People RUIN Everything, a bunch of English tourists from Essex and Leeds broke covid-19 regulations and travelled to Tenby over Easter to try and see Wally (so named after Where’s Wally) and crowded him with jet skis and surfboards and stuff, so he’s not been seen since Monday. We don’t know yet if he’s moved to a secluded spot again, or left Wales entirely.
But, you know, I doubt we were going to have Wally for much longer anyway, since they need to head back home again at some point. Godspeed, Wally. May your fish be ever plentiful.
The English went back home and Wally came back to Tenby! We stan a true Welsh icon, folks.
Some facts about Wally:
She is named after Where’s Wally because she is hard to spot
She was previously in Ireland, and then secluded beaches in Pembrokeshire, but has really taken a shine to Tenby, which is a delightful village
She has a scar on one flipper but it’s long-healed and doesn’t seem to bother her
She is the southern-most walrus ever spotted in the wild!
The current theory as to how she got here is that she fell asleep on an ice floe that drifted south, but she’s not bothered about returning yet
She’s believed to be two years old
Her gender is still a bit of a mystery but we seem to be leaning female
This story on Wales Online claims she’s believed to be male, but then uses female pronouns. It also features a video of some Welsh people chatting about Wally, including a child whose first language is very clearly Welsh and by the end of his part is struggling to think of things to say about the walrus in English.
WALLY UPDATE!!
The Western Telegraph has opted for male pronouns, and is being very firm that Wally is male, although other news outlets are still all over the place. But what has Wally been up to the past few days?
He is rapidly gaining weight, and is still giving no cause for concern to either of the organisations watching him (which are the RSPCA a bit and Welsh Marine Life Rescue a lot; this is funny though because a walrus is so far outside of the wheelhouse of either of those organisations like we’re all just guessing here, lads)
His delinquent ways have continued - he has now attempted to climb onto multiple buoys (all unsuccessfully) and at one point nearly got a mooring rope stuck around his neck.
Has he learned from this?
FOLKS HE HAS NOT!
He is now a Fashion Icon. He has surfaced multiple times wearing accessories in his moustache. Mostly this has been shells, but three days ago he upped his fashion game by wearing this starfish:
What an Icon.
The photographer of this picture, one Amy Compton who has been Wally’s official photographer since the start, has been making these delightful Wally masks (inset). They sell for £5, of which £1 goes to Welsh Marine Life Rescue. If you would like your own Wally mask, contact her here!
My mother came for a visit today and we checked and Tenby is an hour away from me, so we went for a Lovely Day Trip to Find a Walrus.
Friends, I took the shittest photo there has ever been of a Walrus. But I absolutely did get to see em.
A lifeboat wandered by to check em out at one point, and ey just… sank. Just dropped below the surface like Homer Simpson moving backwards into a hedge. After a while the boat left, and Wally surfaced again.
I can now confirm that ey really, really likes blowing water around like a whale, and also kept eyeing up that buoy next to em.
Also, I had entirely forgotten how comically beautiful Tenby is, but that’s an aside
Time for a Wally Update!!!
It’s only a little one, but apparently we’re getting Serious about this walrus, lads - the police are now stepping in to say that anyone interfering with Wally (examples of this interference to date: throwing things at him, taking boats and paddle boards out to him, throwing fish overboard to tempt him closer, etc) is committing a criminal offence and we must send evidence of Assholes to them. So that’s fun!
Meanwhile, the tense stand-off between the RNLI and Wally continues over Who Gets To Use The Lifeboat Slipway. Here is a picture of Wally in full delinquent mode.
What a public menace.
Time for the weekly Wally news!
Here is the problem with 2,500 lbs of predatory sea potato using the slipway of a lifeboat station as a spa bed: sometimes, canoeists get in trouble near Stackpole and need rescuing and then some underwhelmed Welsh coast guard is going to have to try to chase said predatory sea potato off the slipway so they can launch the boat.
Here is the problem with that scenario: an underwhelmed Welsh coast guard basically views 2,500 lbs of predatory sea potato as a sort of ornery gelatinous cow, and so will try to do this with, and I am not making this up, a broom. But a ton of overgrown seal has no fear of brooms, so the attempt is not entirely successful under time-sensitive conditions while canoeists are actively drowning 10 miles away.
Which did work long enough to get the boat out, and then Wally clambered back aboard barely minutes later and fell asleep again. So trick learned, I guess.
Anyway, since I’ve apparently become Tumblr’s primary Wally journalist, I thought I’d go for a cheeky visit again today so I could report on their condition FIRST HAND (you’re all welcome, I have incredible integrity). Today I tried using a binocular over my phone camera with was extremely stressful and moderately successful - and I have two pieces of NEWS.
Story the First
Two dinghies with divers aboard suddenly turned up and sailed right up to them. There are Welsh Marine Life Rescue volunteers everywhere, and one woman immediately yelled “YOU ARE TOO CLOSE. MOVE AWAY.”
Everyone on the cliff went silent. The boats went closer.
“YOU ARE BREAKING THE LAW,” yelled the beachmaster. “MOVE AWAY.”
Tumblrs, they did not.
“CAN YOU HEAR ME?” she yelled. “MOVE AWAY.”
At which point, the whole fucken cliff starts joining in, because Welsh people are Like That.
“Move away!”
“Leave ‘im alone, mun!”
“Move away, butt, what you doing!”
“He’s the size of an ‘orse, bois, can’t you see ‘im from here?!”
“Bloody move you fucks, you’ll scare ‘im away again!”
(That last one was, I swear, an eighty year old woman.)
The boats, suddenly being yelled at by a whole cliff of Welsh people, sailed away. Later, we followed the beachmaster who was now on a mission, and found her with a couple of community police officers ripping the shit out of the divers. It was very satisfying.
Story the Second
I mentioned my binocular and phone trick. It came in handy. At first it gave me some very satisfying shots for a distance picture on a phone camera:
But, you know, whatever.
But THEN I got this picture:
which I got 0.256778 seconds before that majestic Arctic beast of purest beautiful nature untamed FELL OFF THE SIDE OF THE SLIPWAY LIKE A CAT THAT GOT TOO CLOSE TO A TABLE EDGE
Wally was fine, the seagull to the right was traumatised.
This is not an update as such but my friend Chris who I took with me to get the scoop on Wally on Sunday had a real camera with him, and he has produced a WAY better photo than I did, and I want you all to see Just How Louche a Walrus is capable of looking:
Handsome boi
Okay, so this post went from 24,000 notes to 40,000 overnight, and I am getting a lot of important scientific queries about Wally! So I shall call upon my expertise as a skilled journalist of huge integrity and also a genuine, actual lecturer in environmental science to answer them all as best I can. I shall also use pictures.
1. When did this happen?
I have included many links in this thread to news articles on Wally, each of which is dated, so you can check those for accurate dates; but, xe turned up in Ireland in March 2021, and then made hir way to Pembrokeshire, Wales end of March. Xe reached Tenby a week or so later in April, and now refuses to leave. As of this update (6th May, 2021) xe’s still there and chillin’ - my friend Chris’ louche photo there was taken on Sunday the 2nd May.
I shall date all updates from now on. Apologies for this uncharacteristic lapse in my journalistic performance. I have let Wally down.
2. “Oh my god do you guys call Waldo Wally?!??”
Folks!! Folks so many of you are doing this!!! But here’s the thing!!!
Where’s Wally is a British series and that’s the original name!!! It has been translated and regionalised around the world, and the name was changed in 28 of them!! A sizeable number don’t even sound like ‘Wally’!!! In France he’s Charlie! In Lithuania he’s Jonas! In Arabic versions he’s Fuḍūlī!!!
Yet only one nationality is repeatedly reacting with astonishment while assuming theirs is the one true original version!!! Guess which one!!! You have to stop!!! Especially the few who have responded with out and out swearing and aggression when I’ve explained!!! THIS POST IS ABOUT A WALRUS!!!!
3. Is Wally okay in Wales? Does xe need to leave/be moved?
Xe’s currently fine - an Arctic walrus can handle water temperatures of up to 15 degrees celsius, which West Wales is certainly currently accommodating. Xe was also distressingly underweight when first spotted fresh off the ice floe, but we’ve been monitoring hir health and xe’s roughly doubled hir bodyweight and is very healthy. I asked the fishmonger in Tenby if xe’s affecting the catch and the nice man said no and sold me a lemon sole for my mam. So right now, Wally is doing great, all needs met, with no real clashes with other stakeholders (i.e. fishers and that) except for, you know, the one (i.e. the lifeboat people).
However, high summer in Wales is warm enough that the sea will top the temperature threshold. So, we’re expecting Wally to leave by hirself in a month or so, if xe doesn’t decide to move sooner. Whether xe decides to swim all the way back home, or xe starts just moving north along the western coast and next turns up in the Isle of Mann or Scotland to continue hir holiday of the Celtic Ring remains to be seen. But, xe’ll do it hirself eventually, so it’s down to us to just keep hir happy and healthy for as long as xe chooses to stay.
4. I think Wally is female!
Yeah, maybe
5. I think Wally is male!
Very possibly
6. I think walruses have no concept of gender!
Almost definitely
7. What’s Walrus in Welsh?
They’re not native, so the Cymricisation “walrws” is getting a lot of use - but, Welsh is nothing if not poetic, so in official literature it’s “morfarch”, which means “sea stallion” or “sea knight” depending on your dialect.
8. Did they really use a broom and an airhorn on Wally?!
Here is a forlorn coast guard attempting to shift hir with a broom:
And here is the same coastguard attempting to shift hir with an airhorn:
9. I cannot believe this walrus is a delinquent!!!
Very well. Here is Wally’s criminal case file, including photographic evidence of two boarded boats and hir mugshot:
Update time! Datestamp: 10th May 2021. And as this post is becoming hellishly long, I think it’s probably best if I start using Read Mores after a couple of inches of scroll space. Uh, sorry about the rambling length, folks, I apparently just have a lot to say about a walrus and also many pictures.
Anyway, Wales is weathering a storm at the minute, so the sea is currently pretty rough - turns out, Wally likes staying out at sea during this time because they’re a sucker for a wave machine, and same, Wally, same, wave machines are banging. What this means is that they aren’t about much at the minute, but as the sea calms over the next few days the prediction is that they’ll return to the slipway, climb aboard and then drop spark the fuck out for a few days to rest.
SO, speaking of that SLIPWAY and the CRIMES of this delinquent…
Alright, gang, BRACE YOURSELVES because there’s a Wally update incoming!
And it may be the last! Or maybe not, it all depends on what Wally decides to do.
Anyway, it’s 26th May 2021, and to tempt you to click the Read More, I offer these two photos of Wally actually being induced to finally fucken move after the underwhelmed Welsh coast guard had the bright idea of spraying him gently with a hose to mimic rain:
Datestamp: 30th May, 2021. Uh, Wally has decided on more shenanigans, starting, I shit you not, with continuing that trip of the Celtic Ring by going even further south to fecking Brittany, in France, and yes! Yes, I did make that joke! I did not expect it to come true!! But here we are!!
In fact, he overshot Brittany and hit the town of Les Sables d’Olonne, a bit further south along the coast. Where, NATURALLY, he promptly found a brand new slipway to terrorise, and a brand new piece of maritime safety infrastructure to block.
French fishermen report that he seems “interested” in their boats, and we all know how that will end.
Except, it seems his crimes are starting to catch up with him. Warning for news of minor walrus injury under the cut (he’s fine, no pictures).
This walrus will not let me rest. Just let me rest, Wally. Let me sleep.
Datestamp: 3rd June, 2021. You’ll all recall that the last we saw of our hefty oceanic bandit, he got hit by a boat while trying to steal it in France, as he so often does. Oh no! we all thought. What if Wally is hurt! We hope he recovers! We hope he learns to leave boats alone, and also turns the fuck around and swims to cooler waters!
HOT OFF THE PRESS (I am a journalist of superlative integrity, it is often said)
Datestamp 5th June 2021, and he’s in Spain. He’s in Spain. He’s headed for fucken Galicia after all, lads. He’s heading south. Given that my every joking prediction has so far come true, I’m terrified to make the obvious joke that he’s heading for Patagonia. GO TO SCOTLAND, WALLY. GO TO FECKING SCOTLAND.
Anyway,here’s a clip of him in Bilbao, northern Spain, and also, there’s some extra news: after months of back-and-forth and guesswork, we do now have concrete evidence of Wally’s sex, including photographs. NSFW pics under the cut.
Captain’s log, star date 14th June 2021, and he’s in Santander. No, not the bank. The Spanish city, capitol of Cantabria, which is interesting given that Cantabria IS A CELTIC NAME, so the journey continues. Asturias and Gallicia beckon.
Here is a picture of him having climbed aboard yet another boat.
Andthis article has a link to a video of him boarding a pier back in La Rochelle, to the bemusement of some French fishermen (side note, it is very endearing that the Western Telegraph, a Pembrokeshire newspaper, is still closely following Wally’s adventures).
WILL HE GO BACK NORTH?!? Well, let’s see how he feels once he’s done Galicia.
Do you love the colour of the walrus?
Anyway, folks I have MIXED news. The good news is, after spending a worrying month heading closer and closer to the equator and then vanishing for two weeks, our fave oceanic chongus has finally, mercifully, turned the fuck around! He’s coming back home apparently, and has turned up in the Isles of Scilly, a small chain of islands off the toe of Cornwall. Hopefully, he’ll take a week there to feed and rest and then continue his journey north. We may yet see him make landfall in Scotland.
6th July 2021, and I shit you not, WALLY IS NOW OUTLAWED IN THE ISLES OF SCILLY.
Well, his crimes were always going to catch up with him eventually.
He’s now sunk multiple boats, and England is a very different place to Wales, so they’re trying to evict him. “He may prevent emergency response vessels from being immediately operational,” say British Divers Marine Life Rescue, as though he hasn’t already done this repeatedly in Tenby and the solution hasn’t been found to be an airhorn and a garden hose (the results of hardworking Welsh scientists are oft-ignored). In any case, The Walrus Must Go.
Hello Wally Watchers, and welcome back to Do You Love The Colour Of The Walrus!
Apologies for being so lax with updates, I’m trying to wait for a chunk of news these days in a vain bid to keep this post to a slightly more manageable length (cue hysterical laughter). But, as the number of messages in my inbox demanding news hits twenty three, let’s see what Wally is up to! And lads, there’s some big news!
Okay so last time I posted, Wally had made his way back to Ireland and was having a grand old time finding new boats to sink. That was back in August! So long ago.
Datestamp: 22nd September, 2021, and have I got news for you.
And the best birthday treat is all the great feedback and support I’ve been receiving for my content! So to celebrate the start of my 29th year of age, I’d like to thank my 850 followers (how?!?!) for their support by giving away 3 FREE COMMISSIONS! These commissions can be whatever CAS content your little heart desires, historical or modern (with the exception of hair – I have 0 experience with it…)
In order to qualify for the giveaway, you will need to re-blog this post and be following me! I’ll then use a random generator to pick winners from the list of re-blogs. (you’re more than welcome to like and comment, but those won’t aid in your odds of winning!)
The prize winners will be contacted on Halloween(Saturday, October 31st) as a little Simblreen treat!
Full disclosure – I do have a current list of commission WIPs, so I’ll be adding you to the end of said list. Please be patient with me when it comes to completing these projects as this isn’t my full-time job!
I know how to mesh.
I don’t think I will ever know how to mesh like @simulatedstylescan.
I would die and go to heaven if I won this. Pls universe.
[I.D. A GIF in the shape of a domino mask shaped cut out, with moving footage of the Hargreeves siblings inside. By @circumstellarsEnd ID]
Season 3: 3MA!
Full details will be given later, but to help you get your gleeful scheming off to a good start, here the basics:
The event will take place in July - circa 9th-31st but the exact dates to be confirmed closer to the time!
3MA will have an optional season 3 theme. We will do our best to accommodate keeping the build up spoiler free for those avoiding spoilers! [Read the spoiler policy here]
Based on the feedback we received on previous rounds, we have decided to keep the gen requirement for 3MA. Most respondents to our survey found that keeping the event gen allowed them to read and enjoy more fics than if shipping had been included, and a few authors said they enjoyed challenging themselves to write non-ship fics. [If you want to know more about what a genfic is, check out the tvTropes page]
3MA will be keeping the wordcount cap set at 10,000 words maximum that was implemented for shocktober, with the addition of a caveat: only one fic submitted per author may be under 500 words. You can still submit up to two fics, which can be up to 10,000 words each, and you are allowed to update fics during the event providing the 10,000 cap is not exceeded prior to the un-masking. After the authors are revealed, you are free to make your fic as long as you please! However, only one of your two fics may be under 500 words. We have made this change based on feedback from Shocktober due to the difficulty of guessing authors of drabbles, but also that being able to write a drabble was what allowed some authors to participate. We hope this is a good compromise!
We will once again be taking community prompt submissions, and you can submit your prompt [here]. Prompt submissions will close late June/early July, date TBC. You can view prompts that have been submitted [here] (although the list will be updated periodically). You can also view the prompts submitted for Gen June and Shocktober [here]and[here] for even more inspiration.Once again, the prompt list is optional and is intended as inspiration for the authors. You do not have to write a fic based on a prompt if you don’t want to.
We look forward to seeing you all at the next masquerade!
Oh god, I think I’m going to do this. I already have my theme and cast. But writing something else while still trying to write an ongoing series is like really really hard! And one-offs? How do you guys do this?
