Hey! Sorry I kinda missed a few weeks lmao. Either shit popped up, I didn’t know what to share, I forgot, or I just didn’t feel like it. But we’re back now! And you’re about to read perhaps the funniest and stupidest thing I’ve ever fucking written. Not just in htkag, in general. This thing, this one little detail is so fucking stupid and weird and it makes me bust out laughing every time I read it
I hope you enjoy!
—
slight context: Allister and Perci are living in a possibly haunted apartment together and they just went furniture shopping
8:45pm Update:
The peacock living room is all set up! We’ve got everything from the couch cushions, the cream overthrow blanket and even a large rug that matches it! We’ve got blue floor to ceiling curtains, a gold framed mirror, some black and white minimalist paintings, one portrait of a peacock, and some house plants stowed away in the corners. Getting small trinkets for the bookshelves and such will have to take time, just as the decor for the rest of the place will.
And… oh, we got another animal portrait also. I didn’t want to mention this one for a damn good reason. It’s hideous. I want to act like it doesn’t exist as much as I possibly can. I didn’t even want to buy it! Perci insisted we get it because he thinks it’s hilarious, for whatever godforsaken reason I can’t tell. He was laughing his ass off when we saw it. Just strolling down the aisle of mirrors when we turned the corner and there it was. Watching. Waiting for some poor, unsuspecting souls that it could steal. Perci locked eyes with it first, which makes sense considering his reaction to it.
Let me describe it for you. I want you to get the most vivid mental image of this as you possibly can.
So. It’s this elephant, alright? A portrait of an elephant with an oversized head. Its ears are spread out like a mouse’s, not flat against the head like they should be. The eyes are blue. Bright sky blue, and human. Absurdly tiny with a terrifying vacant stare. It has pink cheeks too, as if it stole some lady’s blush and went fucking ham with it. It has human lips in place of a trunk. Thin human lips toned grey and parted only to let a tiny red tongue out. It’s dripping with something that I swear on my life is blood. And to top it all off, the way it’s painted makes it look like it’s covered with fur. The background of it… is plain white. That’s it.
It’s fucking cursed. If it isn’t now, then it will be. I joked with Perci that this one dreaded painting is going to be the sole reason why the ghosts start haunting us. If shit starts to go missing around the place, it’s gonna be because he woke them up from their graves to give us shit for our decorating. No no, hisdecorating! I’m fully confident in my interior design skills. I’m not letting him touch a single room in this place on his own. And this bitch is the only reason why. That painting. That damned painting. This one uncanny valley ass elephant portrait hanging right in the goddamn entryway! Do you understand my passion now? It’s because I have to see that weird ass thing every damn time I go in the fucking apartment now! I would say I want to burn it, but I fear that the flames will make it speak my name, followed by a string of curses in Latin. I should get a cross necklace. I don’t belong to that religion, but any holy protection I can get would help me feel more secure around that thing. Hm. It’s a thought.
Former Kalafina member KEIKO to have her solo debut in May ~ First attempt at writing lyrics/A song with a sprinting vibe
One year after the disbandment of the female vocal unit Kalafina former member KEIKO (34) is set to solo debut in May. Her deep beautiful alto voice will return.
After leaving the group Kalafina with ten years worth of memories it took some time until she was able to face music again. She has been taking a well-deserved break, became a qualified dressing instructor for traditional clothing and travelled to Cambodia to visit the ruins there. At one point someone asked her what kind of songs she would like to sing but she had no idea, she could not answer. That came as a great shock to her. That’s when she decided she would use that opportunity to start a search for what she wanted. By listening to music of different genres she started to find ways of expressing herself.
“Maybe I don’t need to find a concrete answer in my research. I felt like it wasn’t so much about having a result, it was more about the process of aiming for something, that was more my style. It’s fun to meet new people and try out new things that you have never done before.”
Starting this spring she will be signed up with the agency Tristone who also manage Shun Oguri, Miwa and many other talents. In May she will be releasing the songs 「命の花」 and 「Ｂｅ Ｙｏｕｒｓｅｌｆ」 under the label Avex. 「命の花」 will be her first attempt at writing lyrics. 「Ｂｅ Ｙｏｕｒｓｅｌｆ」is a new kind of song with a sprinting vibe. “I added lyrics to some melodies I liked but I only wanted to listen to those songs, not sing them. So I thought I would try singing the type of songs that I had never sung before. I tried a few things but if something was no good I didn’t even bother, I was fired up and wanted to face the music with all my might.
Of course she treasures the path she has taken in the past. “I have always and will always treasure Kalafina’s music.” But she would also like to step up and make new music as solo artist for everyone who already knows her and for those who are yet to discover her. An album release is scheduled for autumn, a tour is also planned.
“I have a strong desire to take up this challenge” Everyone, please look forward to KEIKO’s energising music!
The interview was conducted in late March, here’s Keiko’s comment in response to the spread of the new coronavirus.
“Nowadays, the industry is brought to a standstill and as everyone else I want to protect the people most precious to me. Still, I have chosen this time to start being active again. Things are changing day by day, I hope we can overcome all obstacles by supporting each other, by being flexible and strong. I hope the day arrives soon when I am able to share my music with all of you!”
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex attend the Jaguar Land Rover Driving Challenge during the Invictus Games at Zuiderpark the Hague, Netherlands | April 16th, 2022.
