MC: The food is too hot. I can’t eat it.

Bryce: You’re too hot but I still eat you

MC:*blushes*

Bryce: *winks at them*

Jackie: One dinner. I just want ONE DINNER.

Sienna: I’m cold

Elijah: Oh, here take my jacket

MC: I’m cold too

Ethan: What? *takes jacket off* didn’t I tell you to bring more layers but of course you didn’t listen to me *pulls out scarves to pile on MC* now I have to make sure you don’t freeze to death *takes Bryce’s hat* and how long have you been freezing?!

MC:

MC: Wow, I’m such a lucky person.

Lucas:You make my life complete and I can’t believe you’re mine. I don’t know what I’d do without you.

MC: Bitch, what the fuck are you talking about.

MC: I just got some McNuggets.

MC: Fuck, marry, kill- me, Liam, and Maxwell.

Olivia: Marry Liam, fuck you I guess, and kill Drake.

Drake: I wasn’t even one of the options, what the fuck?

Drake, drunk crying about MC not noticing him: But I’m so cool and hot! I’ve got it all!

MC: Noah if we get out of here alive, I’m gonna kill you!

Noah: So what’s my incentive to live?

MC: You know, one time, the press told me that I should think about getting a buttlift.

Maxwell: What!? Your ass is like…

Maxwell: [struggles to describe it in words]

Maxwell: It’s top shelf, little blossom. It’s top shelf.

MC:…Thanks

Commercial: 2 out of 3 people suffer from depression. Talk to your doctor today.

Maxwell: [hurriedly phones doctor] Hey, do you suffer from depression?

Teja: Got a hot date?

Victoria: No, but the woman I’m dating does.

MC: [makes offended sounds]

MC, dressed as a dentist: Open up

Hana: Sometimes i get sad

MC: That’s not what I mea-

Maxwell: Let her talk

Drake: [Faceplam]

{MC and Kenji texting}

Kenji: MC, what are you doing tonight?

MC: Working again :( *message not delivered*

MC: You?

Kenji: Haha I like where this is going ;)

MC: Becca, how are you?

Becca: I’m so depressed I’ve worn the same outfit twice this week

Olivia: I never considered you an enemy.

Olivia: I never considered you at all.

Drake: Now that’s just hurtful…

Maxwell: Little blo, I need my–

MC: [hands him his phone]

Maxwell: Oh, also I didn’t have a chance to–

MC: [hands him a cronut]

Maxwell: Marry me?

MC: You took care of that. We’ve been married for the last seven years.

[About MC]

Estella: She is beauty.

Sean: She is grace.

Jake: She fucking punched me in the face!

Jake: [To MC] Shall I get you a step stool so you can look in my eyes when you threaten me?

MC: I want a chocolate bunny.

Maxwell: [comes home with a brown rabbit]

Drake: Why can’t you celebrate Easter like normal people?

Maxwell: House of Beaumont has a favor to ask

Drake: I’m erasing myself from the narrative

Bertrand: It’s about MC

Drake: I put myself back in the narrative

MC: *asleep on the couch*

Victoria: *rubbing MC’s arms lovingly*

Victoria: *whispering* Bitch.

Maxwell: Have you seen my shirt? Button down, faded salmon color?

MC: You mean your pink shirt?

Maxwell: …faded salmon color.

MC: No, I haven’t seen your pink shirt.

MC:Tea?

Drake:I don’t drink tea.

MC, telepathically: Then you can suck my dick you ignorant bitch.

MC: Are you laughing at that video of Aiden getting hurt?

Michael: No. I’m laughing at the comments.

MC: Being gay isn’t a choice

MC: It’s a game and I’m winning

TRR as Vines

MC: Ah, fuck. I can’t believe you’ve done this

Liam: You have to say that you’re fine and you’re not really fine.

Maxwell: Mah God they were roommates

Drake: Oh hey, thanks for checking in I’m still a piece of garrbaagge

Hana: Welcome to Bible Study. We’re all children of Jesus… Kumbaya my looordd

Bertrand: You better watch out, you better watch out, you bETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

Madeline: you spilled- whaghwhha- lipstick in my Valentino White bag?

MC: *accidentally brushes Victoria’s hand with her own*

Victoria: *agressively holds MC’s hand* fucking commit to it

[texting]

MC: I really wish you were here because I just want to hold you.

Victoria: That’s disgusting.

Victoria: I’m on my way.