#incorrect criminal minds quote
Penelope: love is in the air
Penelope: hotch..?
Penelope: hotch you’re turning blue
Rossi: *smoking*
Spencer: you know that harms your lungs right? They say that every cigarette takes about 5 minutes away from your life
Rossi: oh well
Rossi: *lights two more cigarettes
Jj: I have no cute clothes :(
Emily: be naked that’s cute enough
Spencer: how do you do that?
Emily: I’m fearless
Spencer: I saw you run away from bees yesterday. You flailed around your arms, tripped over a chair and cried
Emily: I’m mostly fearless
Emily: the last guys blood didn’t splatter against my face and shirt aesthetically enough so I have to kill again, sorry
Derek, whispering: I’d fuck you
Spencer: what
Derek: I mean I love you
Spencer: what?!
Derek: UH I MEANT I HOPE YOU DIE
Spencer: I’m worried everyone is mad at me..
Hotch: Spencer. You woke me up at 4am to tell me this.. I AM mad at you.
Emily: having a vagina doesn’t stop me from thinking my balls are bigger than yours.
Hotch: sit down
Emily: no one tells me what to do!
Jj: sit down
Emily: *sits down immediately*
Jack: can you check for monsters under my bed?
Hotch: monsters don’t live under our beds they live inside of us
Jack:
Hotch: goodnight
Spencer: *throws up a dinosaur shaped sponge* alright who switched out my pills.
Emily: *is not comforted by a relaxing spongy weight in her stomach* where are my fucking dinosaurs.
Spencer: *breathes*
Derek: amazing… just amazing
Penelope: I’m so hardcore, made of steel and haven’t felt emotion since 1969
Derek: you were just crying over cats
Penelope:ThEy’rE So CuDDly aNd SqUisHy
Emily, on the phone to hotch: remember how I said I was gonna have a calm night?
Hotch: yes?
Emily: well I’m in jail
Hotch: *hangs up*
Emily: I’m sorry- can you stop doing?? That weird thing with your face?
Spencer, sniffling: crying?!?
Jj: hey Spence, I like your top
Derek: I have a name
Spencer: *chokes*
Hotch: Spencer we have been trying to find this coffee place for over three hours.
Spencer: well maybe the real treasure was the friends we made along the way
Hotch: Spencer. I want my fucking coffee.
Derek: forgive me father, for I have sinny-sin-sinned
Emily: would you like something to drink? We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr Pepper-
Spencer: spiders?
Emily: spiders it is then
Spencer: no that wasn’t-
Emily: *pours a glass of spiders*
Spencer: *screaming*
Emily: I like my men how I like my coffee
Spencer: you don’t like coffee?
Emily: *sips tea in lesbian*
