thinking about how hotch says “i love you” to penelope so many times that it becomes something he does without thinking, an easy response to the genius work she does. when they start dating, he clamps down on his use of “i love you” because he doesn’t want to freak her out, until she asks him why he doesn’t say it anymore. he tells her why and she smiles at him and says “i love you, aaron hotchner” and that’s all the permission he needs to slip the phrase back into his vocabulary, only this time, even when they’re on speakerphone with the whole team, he means that he cherishes every little thing that makes penelope who she is

hotchseyebrows:

a thought for my gotch folks: penelope pulling fuzz out of hotch’s hair while he’s talking to the team, and he smiles at her, dimples out in full force before turning away and dropping back into the hotch glare with only a hint of a smile in his eyes. after the team finishes talking, he puts a hand on her lower back as he passes by and smiles at her again

ellesgreenaway:

“i am not about to change how i am with you because bob in payroll doesn’t get the joke!”

request: Hey, I’ve got a Spence request! It’s Christmas at the FBI, and the team has done Secret Santa, and you got Spencer, your best friend who you have fancied since you started at the FBI 5 years ago. You all go to Rossi’s to spend the evening and morning, so you can all drink & not drive home. After presents and a few drinks, you and Spence end up under the mistletoe where he declares his feelings in front of the whole team, who encouraged him to tell you how he feels, before you arrived to the party

a/n: i didn’t expect to write this much, it was 7 pages on google docs. i am pretty proud of this tho.

warnings: FLUFF

word count: 3.6k

You looked around at the lights and garland that had adorned the bullpen as you entered the BAU for the first time after arriving home from the case. You grinned from ear to ear like a child as you took in the sight. Spencer was right behind you, pausing to take in the sight beside you. He looked down at you, still in awe, and smiled. You looked so beautiful to him under all those shining lights, and you just looked happier than you had in recent weeks. Christmas was usually tough for you anyway, and this year was no exception. Nonetheless, you persevered. Rossi had been planning a BAU Christmas party for a little bit over a month, with the help of you and Garcia, to make it the most magical Christmas any of you had had in a pretty long time. Needless to say, getting home from the case was more exciting than it usually was.

You tugged your go bag back to your desk and plopped down in your chair, rubbing your eyes. It was around 7pm and you all were going to Rossi’s right from the office to start the festivities. Knowing you wouldn’t be driving home, you had a second go bag packed and ready in your car, along with Spencer’s since you guys had carpooled. When you started at the BAU around 5 years ago, you and Spencer instantly became best friends. Granted, it took him a long time to really break out of his shell of awkwardness, but even then he was very comfortable around you. It was something about you that really made him feel, for lack of a better word, special. Not in the way that he was typically treated for being a genius, but just for being Spencer. That’s what Spencer loved most about you- the way you admired him for just being him. Not because he was a child prodigy and not because he was a genius. He was just Spencer.

Not to mention you always let him ramble and spill facts without ever telling him to shut up, or even interrupting him. Nevertheless, you quickly became very close, especially when you learned your apartment was right down the street from his. That’s when you two started carpooling to the office together. You always stopped at the local coffee shop or Starbucks to feed your coffee addictions, and went home around the same time every night. Spencer always made sure you made it inside safe, and vice versa. The funny thing was, for as incredible as you both were at your jobs as profilers for the BAU, neither of you had the faintest idea that you were in love with each other. Everyone in the entire building knew except for you two. Even Hotch was rooting for you two to get together.

“Ready to go, Spence?” You asked, shooting him a huge grin. He grins back and nods, throwing his bag over his head like he always did. You followed him out the door and to your car and drove yourselves to Rossi’s mansion. The ride was relatively quiet, Spencer had whipped out the book he started on the plane because he absolutely had to know how it ended, and of course he could finish it before you made it to Rossi’s.

“Did you do the secret santa?” You asked, breaking the silence.

“Yeah. Did you?”

“Yep.” You smiled to yourself. You actually got Spencer, and you couldn’t have been more excited. Regardless of whether you had gotten him for secret santa, you were planning to get him a little something anyway. Actually, a few things. You wracked your brain for a few days, wondering what Dr. Spencer Reid would like that he didn’t already have. Of course, you started with a giftcard to his favorite bookstore, along with the newest edition of his favorite collection of Edgar Allen Poe stories. You also got him a giftcard to Starbucks, to make up for all the times he’d paid for your coffee, despite your protests. You made him your famous chocolate chip cookies and your favorite thing? The Halloween Christmas sweater you’d found and KNEW you had to get it for him. He never understood the point of an ugly Christmas sweater, so you figured you would get one that celebrates his favorite holiday with the edition of it celebrating Christmas. You could already see the look on his face when he opened his gifts later that night.

“Hey Spence, can you help me?” Spencer only brought a gift bag with the edition of his overnight bag, meanwhile you had a couple bags, along with two bottles of wine for Rossi and your own overnight bag. He grabbed your overnight bag and a bottle of wine and headed up to the door with you following behind, praying you didn’t slip on any ice.

You made it to the door unscathed, being greeted by Prentiss who was already a glass of wine deep.

“It’s party time!” She said upon opening the door. You and Spencer grinned and followed her inside, kicking the door shut behind you. Everyone was already there, starting on the spiked eggnog drinks without you guys.

“Hey, I told you guys to wait for us!” You whined as you set your presents underneath Rossi’s massive Christmas tree. The others looked away and took sips of their drinks, earning a small glare from you. You opted to start with a glass of white wine and escalate from there later. You took a long sip as you sat along the counter beside JJ. She held up her hands in mock defense.

“I told them they should wait but no one ever listens to me!” You giggled a little and patted JJ’s shoulder sympathetically.

“I hear you. They never listen to me either,” You said, shooting a look in Spencer’s direction in particular. As if he felt your eyes on his back, he turned around and looked at you. When he saw you were already looking at him, he raised his eyebrows in question. You shook your head and he shrugged, returning to his conversation with Morgan and Rossi. Penelope was doing peppermint vodka shots with Prentiss while Hotch watched, somewhat amused as Emily started choking on hers. You smiled as you watched your friends ease into the party so quickly after such a long case. It warmed your heart to see them relaxed.

“I don’t know, Rossi. What if it ruins our friendship?” Reid asked, his voice small. He only softened his voice like that when he was unsure of himself.

“Look, kid. I may be old, but I do have eyes. She loves you, Reid.” Rossi said.

“Trust me, Pretty Boy. Everyone here sees the way you look at each other.” Derek agreed, taking a sip of his beer.

Spencer chewed on his lip thoughtfully when he felt eyes on his back. He turned back to see you staring at him, where you began giggling with JJ. Spencer raised his eyebrows as if to ask, “Did you need me?” and you shook your head. He shrugged and turned back to Rossi, who was smirking. He shared a look with Derek and walked over to Hotch, who was now forcing Emily to drink more water.

“Like I said, trust me.” Derek said quietly as he left Spencer in the center of the kitchen to his thoughts. They were quickly interrupted as Rossi announced it was time for presents. Spencer grinned, this was what he was the most excited for. He had you for secret santa and he knew he really nailed his gift to you this year. He knew you better than anyone, and thanks to his eidetic memory, he knew everything that you had mentioned in passing were small things that you wanted. Including the necklace that you’d pointed out in the jewelry shop down the street from your apartments 8 months and 29 days ago, on your way to Starbucks. You gazed at it longingly every single time you passed by, but never could justify purchasing it for yourself.

“Alright kiddos, gather round.” Rossi said. Everyone made their way to the couches and sat as you helped to hand out presents.

“Morgan, these are yours. No one open anything until everyone has a gift!” You stared at Emily in particular, who grinned sheepishly. Hotch placed a hand on her leg and smiled at her, knowingly.

“JJ, this bag is yours. Hmm, Garcia this one is yours, Emily, Hotch,” You handed them out one by one. “Ah, here’s yours Spence.” You hauled a couple bags over, and his eyes widened at the sheer amount of stuff adorning both bags.

“Here’s yours, Rossi, and I just found mine!” You sat on the floor and crossed your legs out in front of you.

“Alright, how are we doing this?” Morgan asked, raising an eyebrow. “Do we all just open at the same time orrr…”

“No, someone can go first and each person who has the person opening goes next, makes sense?” Everyone nodded. “Rossi, you can go first since you oh so graciously hosted. And are letting us stay the night.” You added. Everyone laughed as David shook his head, quickly tearing into the bright wrapping paper. His jaw dropped slightly as he pulled out a box of cigars.

“I told you before, my dad was a cigar aficionado. I know what you like, Rossi.” Derek winked. Rossi rose and said a few words of excitement in Italian before kissing Derek on both cheeks and pulling him into a hug. He laughed and clapped Rossi on the back before returning to his seat, and digging into the gift bag in front of him.

“Alright, I see you secret santa!” Derek pulled out a Chicago Cubs baseball jersey, along with a few other baseball related things.

“I had to delve a bit more into the sports world than I’m used to, but i’m really glad you like it.” Emily smiled. He pulled her into a tight hug.

“Okay Em, you can go.” You wiggled your eyebrows as she fake glared, ripping her wrapping paper to shreds.

“Oh my God! I love it!” Prentiss held up a couple different books by her favorite author, Kurt Vonnegut. JJ grinned.

“Look deeper.” Prentiss dug deeper into the bag and pulled out a beautiful set of hand painted wine glasses.

“JJ, these are beautiful!” Prentiss gave her a hug and started taking them out of the box and passing them around to those that were drinking wine, or planned on it later. She disappeared into the kitchen to clean the glasses and fetch the wine.

“Alright JJ, it’s your turn!” You were especially eager for this one, knowing that Spencer would be coming up soon and you could finally see the look on his face. You’d had the gifts in your possession for 2 weeks and his turn could not come fast enough.

Finally, it was Spencer’s turn. You watched as he tore into the neatly wrapped gift box first. You knew he’d open that one first because it was the biggest box. He pulled the sweater out, seemingly confused at first, before it dawned on him.

“Oh my God, it’s a Halloween Christmas sweater! I love it!” He grinned and took off his blazer, revealing the tshirt beneath. He threw the sweater overtop and pulled the sleeves to his elbows, grinning with the joy of a little kid. He was so excited that he almost forgot about the other presents on the floor beside him. He finally made eye contact with you and you indicated he had other things to open. He sat back down, a slight blush crossing his cheeks as he opened the book and gift cards.

“I love everything, thank you so so much, (Y/N).” He said, the look on his face screaming genuine happiness and excitement.

“Actually, there’s one more thing.” He furrowed his eyebrows as you snuck around behind the tray, retrieving the tin of cookies you’d hidden back there, fully knowing the vulchers you called friends would find them if you put them anywhere else. Spencer’s jaw dropped.

“Are those your famous chocolate chip cookies?!” He asked, incredulous. He knew they were incredibly special to you, which is why it was so rare for you to make them. You grinned and nodded. He jumped up, threw the tin on the sofa, and pulled you into a hug. He picked you up a little, causing you to giggle uncontrollably.

“Thank you endlessly, (Y/N).” He said quietly, placing a chaste kiss on your cheek. A deep blush rose to your cheeks. As you both pulled away, you noticed Spencer was blushing like crazy too.

“I guess that leaves me!” You said, noticing everyone else had opened their presents. You grinned as you dug into yours, pulling out a Starbucks gift card, a new Starbucks tumbler to replace the one you broke a few weeks back, the anniversary copy of your favorite book, (Y/F/B), and finally, a small, blue velvet box was crammed at the very bottom of the back. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion and opened it with a gasp. You snapped your head up to meet Spencer, who was grinning at you sheepishly, his cheeks tinted bright pink.

“I-I knew you’ve been l-looking at that necklace for months, so….” He trailed off, breaking eye contact to stare at the floor. He shoved his hands in his pockets. “If you don’t like it I can take it back,” You stared at him in awe as tears threatened.

“Spence,” You said breathlessly, touching the necklace with a careful finger. “I love it, thank you so much.” Everyone in the room shared a look, fully knowing what was coming. You and Spencer were so busy with each other, that you didn’t notice when Rossi silently ushered the others out of the room and into the hallway to watch.

“Would you mind putting it on for me?” You asked quietly, handing Spencer the small box with a shaky hand.

“S-sure.” Spencer silently cursed his shaking hands as he fiddled with the clasp for a minute, before it clicked into place.

“Thanks.” You glanced up at the tall, lanky Doctor, when something a few feet above his head caught your eye. You gestured up at it, catching his attention.

“Mistletoe.” You said quietly. You got up on your tiptoes and placed a warm, soft kiss on his cheek, earning a blush from Spencer. A weird look came across his face when he suddenly grabbed your face, and crashed his lips into yours. You immediately melted into both Spencer and the kiss, forgetting where you were for just a moment as it was just you and him, alone together.

You pulled apart for air breathlessly, as you looked into the face of what used to be your best friend. That barrier had absolutely been shattered, but when Spencer broke out into a small, shy smile, you knew that it was meant to be that way.

“I…. I’ve been in love with you for the last 4 and a half years. It didn’t take me long at all to realize that you were the most beautiful girl in the world, but when I realized how smart, funny, and caring you were? I knew it was over for me. I didn’t say anything for the last few years because I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” You whispered, placing a hand on his cheek. He leaned into your touch, and smiled a little more.

“Losing you.”

“You’ll never lose me. Not ever.” You shook your head defiantly, and placed another kiss on his lips. This one was much quicker, but filled with all the love and words that hadn’t been spoken until just now, and any words you could ever hope to say. Your friends cheered from beside you as you buried your head in Spencer’s chest, embarrassed. There were rounds and rounds of congratulations, told you so’s, and even a few bets had apparently been placed. You glared as they exchanged money and sheepish grins. You shook your head as you followed your friends into Rossi’s kitchen to continue getting your drink on.

**

It had been a few hours since Spencer’s confession, and to celebrate, you had accidentally had a few drinks too many. You started playing a drinking game with Derek and Prentiss that you had ceremoniously named “Beerio Cart”, and played several rounds since you were the champion. You grinned proudly, Spencer placing a plastic crown you all had found the last time you were at Rossi’s on top of your head, much to Derek’s ego’s chagrin. Following that, you had a few shots with Hotch and Garcia, followed up by the peppermint schnapps Penelope had prepared. Needless to say, the entire team was pretty hammered. IN the last few hours of the evening, Spencer had opted to drink more water and sober himself up slightly in order to save himself the pain the following day.

Rossi was on the same page as Spencer, not to mention the older Italian man’s tolerance was that of a bull. He could probably drink an entire bottle of wine and still be under the legal limit. He had retired to bed around 12:30am, fully aware that he was going to have to cook breakfast for his hungover “children” the following morning. You, Spencer, Prentiss, and Derek were the last ones awake, and now Derek had decided to retire to bed.

“Goodnight, and Merry Christmas.” Derek slurred, tripping up the stairs a little bit. It was the last round of Beerio Cart with Prentiss and Hotch that had done Derek in. Hotch had gone to bed shortly after that, Emily promising him that she would be up shortly after. That was 2 hours ago, and Emily was still downstairs with you and Spencer. She looked around, seeing that everyone except you two had gone to bed, and you were quickly crashing. She shrugged and stumbled up the stairs, managing to make it to her room with Hotch relatively easily. At least it was the first one at the top of the stairs.

Spencer turned his attention to you, and smiled warmly. You were starting to fall asleep standing up. He’d seen you do this a few times before, and usually was able to coax you into either laying your head on his lap if you were on the jet or on his shoulder if you were going to be in the SUVs.

“(Y/N), are you ready to go to bed?” You opened your eyes slowly and blinked, processing his question slowly. You nodded and rubbed your eyes, smearing your makeup all over the place. Spencer smiled a little and guided you to your room, sitting you on the bed.

“Close your eyes, love.” You complied quietly as Spencer gently wiped your makeup off. He tucked you into your bed and placed a kiss on your forehead, turning to leave. He felt you grab his wrist and turned around, caught totally off guard. You were sitting up, wearing your best puppy dog eyes face.

“Stay with me?” You said in such a soft voice, that made Spencer’s heart melt. He glanced at the door, then back at you, where you were still pleading with your eyes. He gave in, took off his shoes, and climbed in beside you. He wrapped an arm around you and you laid on his chest, quickly falling asleep to the rhythmic sound of his heartbeat.

***

You began stirring when the smell of pancakes wafted up the stairs and into your room. You scrunched your face at the harshness of the light peaking through the windows, and felt the onset headache.

“Fuck.” You whispered, rubbing your temples.

“Good morning.” Spencer said quietly beside you, sitting up to lean on his elbow. He donned his glasses and his scruff was already growing slightly.

“Good morning, Spence.” You said, your voice still raspy. You looked at the bedside table in search of your phone and saw two ibuprofen tablets and some water. You gulped them down gratefully and immediately felt relief.

You and Spencer made your way downstairs, greeting by the sight of your hungover friends, and Rossi, who was flipping pancakes and bacon at the stove.

“Oh look who decided to join us! The reigning Beerio Cart champion.” He smirked. You saw the crown sitting on the kitchen table and you grabbed it, placing it on top of your head.

“I stand by that wholeheartedly.” You said, folding your arms over your chest. Rossi shrugged.

“If you say so, kid.” You took a seat beside Hotch, who was rubbing circles into Emily’s back on the other side of him. She looked about as bad as you felt, and you instantly hoped you didn’t look like that, especially not in front of Spencer. As if he could hear your thoughts, he smiled at you, and you smiled back. You glanced down at his lips and flicked your eyes back up to meet his, when he closed the gap and pecked you on the lips. You grinned and a blush rose to your cheeks, as you munched on the pancakes Rossi set before you.

“Please tell me you two aren’t always going to be that sickeningly adorable.” Garcia said, wearing her sunglasses inside. You laughed a little, feeling a pain shoot through your brain. You groaned slightly, busying yourself with your pancakes. Spencer made you a bloody mary, spouted out facts about the origin of the drink, the useful properties of it, and anything else he’d known about it. You listened as you sipped, starting to feel just a little bit better. Whether that was with the help of the bloody mary or Spencer, you already knew the answer.

It was Spencer.

a/n: this is lowkey ass but here’s another request filled !!! if i don’t fill your request i am so sorry my inbox is VERY full and some of them get lost in the sauce!! 

word count: 2k

warnings: hints at smut but none actually, fluff as always

“Are you sure we can’t cancel?” Spencer whined, letting his hands come to rest on your hips. You had gone to the break room for a last minute pick-me-up before heading out to the bar with the team, not knowing that Spencer had followed you. It had been a long day with the completion of a case early in the afternoon, and the jet ride was only an hour and a half back to Quantico. You knew Spencer wasn’t fond of the bar scene on a good day, let alone after a long winded case.

“Spence, it’s okay, you don’t have to go if you really don’t want to.” You said leaning into him as you made your coffee. Spencer frowned and shook his head.

“No, I’ll go.” You handed Spencer the extra coffee you had made for him and he gulped it down gratefully, pausing to rub his eyes. You grinned and placed a kiss on his cheek before returning to your desk to grab a pair of new clothes. You went to the bathroom to change, and found Emily and JJ already in there, getting ready.

“Hey there!” Emily said, applying a fresh coat of lipstick.

“Did you convince Spence to join us?” JJ asked.

“Somehow yes. It took a lot of coaxing and a few promises of different things for when we get home tonight.” You giggled. Emily’s jaw dropped and JJ raised her eyebrows, sharing a look with Emily.

“Ooooh, dirty things?”

“I don’t kiss and tell!” You replied, fixing your makeup in the mirror. Emily and JJ shared your laughter and you went into the stall to get changed. You emerged in a red, off the shoulder top and a pair of red black skinny jeans with some calf-high heeled boots. You looked in the mirror and grinned at yourself. You looked like a badass. JJ and Emily had already finished and returned to the bullpen by the time you got changed, with Morgan and Spencer. Morgan whistled as you approached and Spencer stopped mid-conversation with JJ to drop his jaw. You knew that red was Spencer’s favorite color, so wearing it in this capacity was a huge thing for him. You grinned as he approached, resting his hands on your waist.

“You look absolutely gorgeous, my love.” He said quietly, placing a quick peck on your lips. Morgan whistled again, and you gave him the finger. He held his hands up in surrender and walked towards the doors, the rest of your team and you following him into the elevator, where Spencer grabbed your hand. Generally Spencer wasn’t a huge fan of PDA, however, he knew that it was your “love language” of sorts, so he would often compromise with small but sweet gestures; such as allowing his hands to rest on your hips or waist, holding your hand, or the occasional peck on the cheek or lips. It was small enough that Spencer was still comfortable, but it made you ridiculously happy.

You split up among yourselves in the parking lot, meeting up at the bar. Hotch promised Emily that he would take his own car there, to which Emily made a face. He gave a look with her that conveyed he had to do something he didn’t want to, such as having a conversation with the witch herself, Erin Strauss. Prentiss broke into a sympathetic smile as she climbed into the car and rocketed out of the parking lot. You plugged your phone into Spencer’s aux to try and get him a bit more perked up, so you put on one of your playlists that he hated the least; and actually had come to enjoy. He hummed along quietly, absentmindedly stroking his thumb across the top of your hand. You stared out the window and just appreciated the quiet time you got with your love. You arrived shortly later, and the drinking had commenced as soon as you and Spence walked in. Garcia shoved a Bay Breeze into your hand and forced you to chug it for being late.

You complied, shotgunned the drink, and slammed it back down on the bar with a cheer. Garcia seemed satisfied and you felt a hand on the small of your back; it was Spencer. He had a weird look on his face, following his gaze you quickly realized why- some guy at the bar was staring at your ass. His look quickly changed to a scowl as he pulled you in and placed a passionate kiss on your lips, to show the entire place you were entirely his. He pulled away and you quickly pecked his lips and smiled.

“I love you.” You said.

“I love you too.” Spence grinned and took a sip of his beer, grimacing at the taste. It was one of the alcoholic drinks he despised the least, but that was not to say that he was particularly fond of it. He couldn’t understand how Morgan was such a fan of the drink, but learned quickly not to ask questions. To each his own.

Spencer lost track of you rather quickly as you were a little ways away, at the other end of the bar, doing shots. Suddenly Spencer felt a presence behind him, and looked back to see Morgan.

“What’s up, Boy Wonder? You look a little lost.” Spencer frowned and shrugged.

“I just don’t like the party bar sort of scene, but I wanted to make (Y/N) happy.” Morgan chuckled and took a sip of his beer.

“Pretty boy, you are both very very sweet, and frankly quite whipped.” Spencer furrowed his eyebrows and looked at his friend, who was being beckoned by Garcia. Spencer followed behind and when you saw him, you lit up.

“Hey you,” You said, reaching out your hand. Spencer took it gratefully, and pulled you into a hug. You melted into him.

“You guys wanna grab a seat at the bar, get some apps and a few more drinks?” Morgan offered, taking Garica’s hand. You all agreed and Prentiss walked away to call Hotch, to see if he was on his way and if he wanted anything for when he got there.

Your time at the bar was relatively short lived before moving to a table to accommodate the group better. Morgan sat back with his arm slung around Garcia’s shoulders, who was getting closer to tipsy with every sip of her margarita. You were talking about first kisses, to which you felt Spencer tense up slightly beside you, like he so often did during these sorts of conversations.

“I mean, I kissed my childhood best friend on the playground, but I doubt that really counts.” You paused.

“Not really. It counts for something, but it’s not your real like, first kiss. Spill it, girl.” Morgan said, smirking.

“Alright, alright. I was a sophomore in high school; my best friend had this family friend who had a son a year younger than us, who went to high school with us. He was really sweet, but also very VERY quiet. We were sort of friends, in a sense. Like, we knew each other and would text back and forth sometimes, mostly about a bio class we had together, but regardless. I really liked him and he never expressed any real interest in me, other than just like smiling at me and getting close to me, which didn’t mean much. Anyway, my best friend and I went to a New Year’s Eve party at his house and we were mostly hanging out in the basement or floating around with the various kids we went to high school with, just hanging out and other teenager stuff. Lo and behold, it’s the countdown to midnight and he appeared at my side. It became midnight and he grabbed my hand so I would look at him, he took my head in his hands and just kissed me.” You smiled at the memory of the sweet boy who only lasted in your life for about a month.

Derek laughed, Garcia and Prentiss awed, and Spencer didn’t really express anything. He just took a quiet sip of his beer.

“Alright, I said. It’s your turn, Prentiss!” Her eyes widened as she shook her head.

“I don’t kiss and tell,” She smirked, echoing your words from earlier today. You rolled your eyes as Hotch approached the table.

“Saved by the bell.” You muttered as Emily stood, giving Hotch a quick peck on the lips. He smiled and sat beside her.

“Another round?” You offered, standing up with your now empty glass. You crossed the room and took a seat at the bar, waiting for the bartender to notice you. You saw someone sit beside you out of your peripheral and realized it was Garcia, who was grinning wickedly.

“Hi, Sweets.” She said, sounding entirely too innocent. You narrowed your eyes.

“What did you do?” You asked.

“Nothing!”

“Pen.”

“I didn’t do anything. I have an idea,” She smirked.

“Oh God, what?”

“I saw this hilarious thing on Twitter last night where you text your significant other something SUUUPER nasty when you’re in a public setting together to see how they react.” You considered it for a minute, when the bartender approached. You listed off the group’s order and he disappeared.

“You’ve caught my attention, Pen. Have you tried it with Derek?” She raised her eyebrow.

“Have I tried it. Please, honey. I’ve done it 4 times tonight alone, have you noticed him even FLINCH?” You glanced back at Morgan, who was clapping Hotch on the back. Your eyes wandered to Spencer, who was finally smiling, and looked like he was actually having a good time. Perfect opportunity.

“You’re on, Garcia. $20 says Spencer blushes, shifts in his seat, and looks down at the table.”

“Alright, I say he smirks, rests his head on his hand, and gives you that look he does right before you leave the BAU.” A flush filled your face as you realized that your allegedly “discreet” look was apparently not so discreet.

The bartender returned with the drinks seconds later, and you only had about a minute to come up with something GOOD. With the help of Garcia, you got to work crafting the dirtiest text you could think of that would earn you the response you were looking for from your boyfriend.

Spencer felt his phone vibrating in his pocket which immediately alarmed him, considering the few people that would actually text him were all sitting with him. Besides you, who had gone to the bar, but you wouldn’t have just disappeared and only sent a text. He furrowed his eyebrows as he read the text he received from you, immediately reacting the way you thought he would.

He quickly locked his phone and put it face down on the table, running a hand through his hair in discomfort. He felt the blood rushing to his cheeks, among other places, as he began shifting in his seat to try and discreetly make himself a bit more comfortable. He stared at the table, hard, as if he was going to burn a hole through it with his eyes. Meanwhile, you were collecting $20 from Garcia across the room, in tears from laughing so hard. With Penelope’s help you escorted the drinks back to the table, earning a few cheers from your friends. You sat beside Spencer and placed a casual hand on his thigh, making him squirm even more.

“Why did you do that?!” He whispered in your ear.

You simply smirked in response and took a sip of your drink.

“Let’s just say i’m now $20 richer.” Spencer narrowed his eyes at you before looking around the table, his eyes landing very quickly on Garcia. She was being uncharacteristically quiet and still leaning on Derek, but avoiding eye contact with Spencer. He scowled and she ignored it, trying to suppress her laughter.

You placed a chaste kiss on Spencer’s cheek and he shifted again, but grabbed your hand anyway. For what it was worth, Spencer was definitely very good at putting up with your mischievous ways.

You unlocked your phone to send someone a text, when you saw your own to Spencer. You grinned in spite of yourself.

I can’t think about anything besides you throwing me on the bar and ravaging me in every way you please. You know, kinda like last night…. I’ve never heard you say my name so loud.

im cranking out requests as quick as possible but since it’s independence weekend it might be slow coming!!!

I Just Wanna Be Close to You

request: 
blurb request! spencer reid x reader y/n getting super sad and mumbling thru tears “ just wanna be close to you”

a/n: okay i sat at my computer for a solid 10 minutes trying to figure out where and how i could run with this story and i think i figured out the perfect thing heheheeee

word count: 2.6k

warnings: slight angst (i guess? idek) and fluff! and jello. personally i hate jello

“Are you sure?” You overheard Morgan saying as you inspected the surrounding area, Spencer doing the same. “Alright, I’ll tell (Y/N) and Reid. Thanks.” He hung up the phone and turned to you.

“The lab was clean.” He said, frowning. “Where’s Reid?” You looked over your shoulder and came up empty, looking around a little more frantically.

“Spencer?” You called. No response.

“Reid!” Morgan called a little louder. Still no response.

You started running and screaming Spencer’s name, when you looked in the direction of the open front door. You ran up and started into the lab when Spencer ran out of nowhere and shoved you back, closing the door between you.

“Spencer what the hell are you doing?!” You asked, looking up at him.

“You have to get out of here now.” He said, locking the door.

“Spence i’m not-”

“Now, (Y/N)! The anthrax lab is in here! It’s too late for me, you have to leave! I’m so sorry.” Tears welled up in your eyes as you approached Morgan, who heard the entire conversation.

Hotch and the officers from downtown appeared shortly, you were sitting outside beside Morgan. You both stood as Hotch approached, already having been briefed by Morgan.

“It’s not your fault, (Y/L/N).” Hotch said.

“I should have gone in with him, at least then he wouldn’t be alone.” You muttered, wiping away a spare tear.

“Reid, we’re gonna get you out of there as quickly as possible, and get you to a hospital.” Hotch said into the phone. He put it on speaker in time for you to hear Spencer’s response.

“No.”

“NO?” You called.

“I’m already infected, that doesn’t mean I can’t help from in here. This guy must have created an antidote in the case of accidental self infection.” He said. Hotch remained quiet.

“Hotch, you gotta say something to him!” Morgan was angry with himself as well for not going in with Spencer. The idea of the kid dying ripped a hole in his chest.

“He’s right, Morgan.” Morgan shook his head and threw his hands up, walking away. You sat there, the sick feeling in your stomach becoming more and more potent. You and Spencer had only been dating for 5 months before this, the idea of already losing him was terrifying and entirely too real to you. You’d had too many close calls in your friendship alone, let alone during your short-lived relationship. Army men began setting up tents outside of the house. Reid was listing off everything that he could see in the room to get a better idea of who the new unsub was, and what his next move was since murdering Nichols. You and Morgan elected to stay with Reid while Hotch went to the BAU.

“Hey Garcia.”

“Hey, Reid.”

“No nicknames today, huh?”

“Not when you’re in there and we’re all out here. What can I do to help?” He could hear worry laced in her voice. He swallowed hard.

“I need to record, um, a couple of messages.” Spencer tried to will away the tears he felt coming.

“Sure thing, just give me one second.”

“You ready?”

“Go, Reid.”

“Hi, mom. This is Spencer, just calling to say that I love you and am so happy to be your son. You’re a great mom. Get it, Garcia?”

“Yep,” She sniffled slightly, hoping Reid didn’t hear her. He did.

“One more message, this one is for (Y/N). Hi there, love. Um, this is Spencer. I guess you figured that out when I called you love, at the beginning of this message.” He chuckled a little, and wiped away a tear that was falling. “Um, I don’t know how else to say it, but I love you, so much. Ever since your first week at the BAU, I’ve been in love with you. I’m so glad you allow me to love you every single day, and show you just how special you are to me. I’ll see you soon, I love you.” Garcia was now silently crying on the other end, and could barely choke out that she got both of his messages taken care of. He thanked her as the team in hazmat suits approached.

“I gotta go, thanks again Garcia.” He hung up and faced the doctor.

“Are you in any pain, Dr. Reid?” She asked. He swallowed and refused treatment, promising that he felt fine. He was actually beginning to sweat and his thoughts were clouding slightly, but he pushed through.

“I believe the antidote is in here somewhere, as a just in case precaution. He was a military scientist, so it won’t be out in the open.” Reid felt a cough rising in his throat, and panic setting in. He swallowed hard, again, and answered the incoming call he had been anticipating.

“Hey, Spence.” Your voice was thick. “I’m here with Morgan. How are you doing in there?”

“I’ve been better.” He laughed a little, leading to a small coughing fit. You felt your stomach knot harder.

“Stay with me, Spence. What can you tell us about the man Nichols was working with?” You could hear the shuffling of papers on Spencer’s end.

“I see a thesis with writing in the margins, like a professor would do for a student.” He began reading from the paper, almost verbatim to something Nichols had said earlier.

“I’ll call Garcia.” Derek walked away to do just that, and Spencer was coughing again. You sniffled.

“Hey, I’m okay, love. I’m gonna be fine!” Spencer tried, but failed, to sound even remotely convincing. How could he when he just gave Garcia his goodbye messages?

“We’re gonna catch this sonofabitch and get you out of there, I swear, Spence.” Tears were flowing freely now.

“Yeah, we are.”

“Here’s Morgan, Garcia found the unsub.” Spencer breathed a small sigh of relief.

“Get out of there, Pretty Boy.” Morgan said, clapping his phone shut. Spencer smiled and hung up his own phone, when the doctor approached.

“You were right, Reid. It wasn’t somewhere we would think to look.” She held up Nichols’s inhaler.

You watched as the men in the hazmat suits escorted Reid out of the house and into the tent, and started hosing him down.

“Spence.” You breathed, watching him react to the seemingly cold water and trying to approach him. He held out his hand.

“Go help Hotch.” He said, his voice rough from coughing.

“No, I’m staying here with you.” You said, crossing your arms. He knew arguing with you was futile, and that he needed to save his energy. “Morgan went with Hotch.” You could tell what he was thinking.

You tried to get closer, not caring about the consequences. He stopped you again, and met your eyes, brimming with fresh tears.

“I just want to be close to you.” Your tears spilled over and fell down your cheeks, as you suddenly felt Spencer’s hand delicately lift your head to meet his eyes. “I really thought we were going to lose you. I’ve never been so afraid.”

“They’re about to strip me naked, and scrub me down. Do you really wanna see that?” You tried to suppress a laugh. Spencer smiled a little.

“I’ll meet you outside. I’m riding with you in the ambulance.” Spencer seemed satisfied with the compromise and you exited the tent, pacing just outside as you could hear him coughing. You frowned and put your head in your hands, still worried about whether or not there was enough time to save him.

The doctor’s wheeled him out on a gurney a few minutes later, coughing his head off. You climbed in after him and grabbed his hand as he continued coughing, closing his eyes.

“How are you, Dr. Reid?” Doctor Kimura asked, hovering a stethoscope above Spencer’s chest.

“I’ve been better, honestly. But besides the coughing, I feel okay.” You frowned and rubbed your thumb across the top of his hand.

You arrived at the hospital shortly after and took a break to call the team, and alert them that Reid’s vitals were stabilizing.

“Hey Morgan, it’s (Y/N). Reid and I are at the hospital, I think he’s gonna be okay. He’s asleep now, but I think he’s gonna be okay. Call me when you get this, bye.” You clapped your phone shut and sat back, reading the book Reid had given you a couple of months ago that you often read on the jet rides home. It was very long, but very interesting, and since it was one of Spencer’s favorites that was actually in english, you promised him you would read it and tell him what you thought.

“Hey, Pretty Girl, we caught him.” Morgan said. You could hear the grin in his voice.

“Of course you guys did. Did you get to tackle him or did you apprehend him the less fun way?” You giggled.

“For your information, missy, I don’t get a kick out of tackling psychopaths.” He replied.

“I call bullshit.”

“Oh whatever. How’s our boy?”

“Still sleeping, but the anthrax is making its way out thanks to Spence finding the cure in the inhaler. Don’t tell him I said this, it might go to his head. He’s kind of a genius.” You pretended to whisper. Morgan chuckled on the other line and sighed.

“Something like that. Want me to meet you at the hospital?”

“Sure. There’s a ton of jello here, i’ve been munching on it as I wait for Spence to wake up.” You said, taking another bite.

“Whatever happened to you being so worried you couldn’t eat, like, 2 hours ago?” Morgan asked.

“Doctor Kimura said he was gonna be fine, he just needed time to rest. The worry left and the jello appeared. I don’t make the rules.” You said simply.

“Whatever, kiddo. See you in 20.” Morgan hung up before you could say anything else, and you returned to your book and your jello. Spencer stirred slightly, your heart leaping into your throat, only to turn slightly and let out a small snore. You giggled a little, and kept reading.

You made it about 4 chapters deep when Morgan finally showed, magazine in hand.

“Anything yet?” He asked, pulling up a chair beside you. You shook your head and opened another pack of jello, handing Morgan a green one.

“Ew, I hate the green. Give me a red,” He put the green back and opened the red, digging in as he flipped carelessly through his magazine. A raspy voice caught your attention.

“Is that jello?” You snapped your head up and were met by Spencer’s hazel eyes, glancing back and forth from the jello in your hand to your face.

“You’re awake!” You threw your book into Morgan’s lap and stood to go grab Dr. Kimura.

“Welcome back, Pretty Boy. Thought we lost you for a minute.” Spencer smiled weakly.

“I’m just glad you caught him, and that I found the antidote in the lab.” He rasped, eyeing up your jello.

“How are you feeling, Doctor?” Dr. Kimura asked from the doorway, smiling. She was extremely happy to see the young Doctor made a full recovery, and was going to be back to normal in a matter of days.

You stepped out from behind Dr. Kimura with an armful of jello, and a spoon. Spencer grinned like a child and took the orange one gratefully, shoving a huge spoonful into his mouth.

“Thank you.” He tried to sit up and winced slightly, falling back on his pillows.

“You gotta take it easy for a few days, Kid.” Morgan said, not looking up. Spencer sighed but closed his eyes as you pet his hair. A calm smile crossed his features and you smiled, so happy to have met someone as amazing as Doctor Spencer Reid, FBI agent.

Down the road……

The anthrax incident had been anything but forgotten, though moved past. Reid made a full recovery as expected, and was back to work in a matter of days, something that made you extremely happy. You had stopped by Starbucks like you did every morning, Spencer waiting for you in the car. Garcia had texted you that morning that she was running late and asked you to pick up her usual, and she decided to order yours and Spencer’s usuals as well. You grabbed the drinks and went out to the car, making your way through the morning D.C traffic with your love and plenty of caffeine.

You went straight to Penelope’s lair to deliver her coffee, when you heard Spencer’s voice on the other side. Had he gone a different way and beaten you there?

“Hi there, love. Um, this is Spencer. I guess you figured that out when I called you love, at the beginning of this message.” He chuckled a little, and wiped away a tear that was falling. “Um, I don’t know how else to say it, but I love you, so much. Ever since your first week at the BAU, I’ve been in love with you. I’m so glad you allow me to love you every single day, and show you just how special you are to me. I’ll see you soon, I love you” Your eyes widened. It sounded like he was rehearsing something. Was he proposing already? Or working out how to say “I love you”? Neither one of you had said it yet. You were prepared to, but wanted the moment to be just right. You also weren’t sure where Spence stood on the matter. You knew Spencer was absolutely the one, and you would marry him in a heartbeat, but wasn’t it a little bit early? You were barely living together by this point, marriage seemed a little bit down the road. You decided to enter, cautious.

“Hey, Pen, here’s your coffee.” You glanced around the small room, but there was no sign of Spencer anywhere. “Who were you talking to? It sounded like Spencer.” You eyed Penelope, who choked a little bit on her coffee. Her eyes widened.

“Uh, I was watching a Youtube video.” She said quickly, avoiding eye contact. You sat on the edge of her desk and looked down at her. She still refused to make eye contact, instead fiddling with a plastic ring adorning her middle finger.

“Pen, it sounded just like Spencer.” You pressed.

“Oh, fine! He didn’t want me to show you this but here it is.” Penelope replayed the message you had heard moments before, this time it was unmistakable. It was Spencer.

“When did he record this?” You asked, feeling as if you were out of breath.

“During the anthrax case, in case he didn’t get to say goodbye.” Penelope mumbled, looking guilty.

“Why didn’t you show me sooner? That… that was so sweet.”

“He didn’t want me to, he said it was unnecessary since he survived.” You set your mouth in a line and went to hunt down Spencer. You found him perched on Morgan’s desk, boring him about some Shakespeare play you had seen together over the weekend. You tucked on his sleeve and pulled him aside, interrupting him.

“Hello to you too. What’s up?” He seemed confused since you looked so angry, but weren’t using what he dubbed “your angry voice”.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the message you told Garcia to give me in case something happened to you during the anthrax case?” You asked, folding your arms across your chest. His eyes widened.

“I-I didn’t want to make you upset, uh,” He stammered, tucking his hair behind his ears.

“I love you too, Spence.” You whispered. He visibly relaxed. He smiled a little and pulled you into a tight hug.

“I meant every word I said, by the way.” He whispered in your ear. You closed your eyes and nudged your head deeper into his shoulder.

“Good.” You stayed like that for a few minutes until Morgan walked by and whistled, causing both of you to turn bright red and go back to your desks.

i think this is actually the longest fic i’ve written to date, goddamn. as always, i really really ran with this one. **LOOSELY BASED OFF OF SEASON 4 EPISODE 9 “52 Pickup”.

word count: 3.8k

warnings: none, some angst and some fluff.

“So you think he’s taking classes on how to talk to women?” Prentiss asked, incredulous. You tried to surprise your giggles, causing the others to look at you.

“Maybe Reid should try that,” Spencer’s face reddened as he busied himself with the file, pretending to read through it. You could tell he was faking because it never took him that long to study a file.

“I’m kidding, Spence.” You said a short time later, suddenly feeling guilty. Spencer looked up at you and nodded, tight lipped. He returned to the book he was reading. You shook your head and headed to the back of the jet to make yourself a coffee and take a break for a little while. Your peace, however, was short lived. Morgan strolled back and started making himself a cup of coffee while you waited for yours to finish brewing. He looked at you, eyebrows raised.

“What’s on your mind, Sweet Thing?” He asked.

“I feel really bad about what I said to Spencer.” You said quietly, taking a long sip of your coffee. Derek chuckled.

“I know why you said it, can’t say I blame you entirely.” You narrowed your eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh nothing, nothing at all.”

“Morgan.” Your tone raised slightly.

“Alright fine, you can put the angry eyes away. All I meant was that I can see the way you look at him, and you’re frustrated that he hasn’t made any sort of moves.” He said, leaning against the counter and raising his eyebrows again. “Am I wrong?”

Your answer was you walking away. He was completely on track, but you couldn’t bear to say the words out loud just yet. There wasn’t much hope on your end in terms of Spencer feeling the same way about you that you do him, so what was the point of hoping? It just lead to high expectations and low outcomes. You forced yourself to concentrate on the case file for the rest of the ride, briefly glancing at Spencer here and there; you made eye contact 3 times.

Although the jet ride was painfully quiet, the arrival on the scene was nowhere near as heavy. Well, in a sense. You were staring a dead woman in the face who looked just a little bit too much like you for your taste, and you could tell Prentiss was having similar thoughts.

“I guess we have to go pay this “Viper” guy a visit.” Spencer said behind you, quietly. You turned and looked at him, eyebrows raised. It was the first thing he’d said to you since the jet.

“Okay, I’ll grab the keys from Hotch.” You turned on your heel and headed in Hotch’s direction as Morgan approached Reid.

“I see the way you look at her, you know.” Morgan said from behind him, frightening Reid slightly. He tucked a piece of hair behind his ear, and made a confused face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said quietly, walking to the car you hopped in.

“Those two are made for each other, goddamn.” Morgan said to no one in particular. Meanwhile, your ride to Viper’s class was a little too quiet for your liking. You broke the silence and turned the radio down slightly.

“I’m sorry, Spencer.” He looked at you suddenly, as if lost in his own thoughts.

“For what?” He frowned.

“For what I said on the jet, that was unfair and I’m sorry.” Spencer was quiet for a minute, contemplating.

“I really am, Spence.”

“No no I know, I accept your apology. I was just thinking, what if that was the reason the unsub had taken the class in the first place?” You paused, waiting for him to continue. He had something.

“Meaning that if a woman in his life, whether it was a girlfriend, wife, or maybe a female in a club, made him feel small and that he was unable to pick up women. Maybe he’s impotent and he’s out to prove a point.” You grinned and touched Spencer’s arm lightly, retracting when you remembered his disdain for being touched. His facial expression faltered, but was replaced quickly when he called Hotch.

“You are such a genius, Boy Wonder.” He smiled and looked at his hands in his lap, feeling warmth spread through his body.

The drive through downtown Atlanta was an easy one, you having spent the majority of your early to late teens and 20s driving all through downtown D.C. You arrived at the community center rather quickly, and found Viper in a seminar room on the first floor.

“This is the jungle, my friends, and you are the predators.” He said to his class, earning a round of applause.

As you and Spencer approached, he looked you up and down hungrily, licking his lips.

“Well hello there, gorgeous. Fortunately for you my class just let out, and I happen to have an hour until my ne-”

“My name is Doctor Spencer Reid and I’m with the FBI Behavioural Analysis Unit, and this is Agent (Y/L/N).” Viper tore his prying eyes away from you for a moment to look Spencer up and down, clearly unimpressed.

“Sure, sure. What can I do for you, Agents?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“This is regarding your, uh, class. Have you seen any sort of suspicious people or any of your students acting out of the ordinary?” Reid said, sticking his hands in his pockets.

“All my students are out of the ordinary, otherwise they wouldn’t need me to guide them.” He returned his attention to you, with a smirk.

“I, however, am the master. Picking up women is my profession and my dedication.” You rolled your eyes.

“We need to see a list of your students.” You said, monotone.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Sweetheart.”

“We will come back with a warrant.” You glared. Men like Viper made you sick.

“Alright, fine, Miss. Agent. You’ll get the roster. You can have anything else you want, you just have to ask nicely.” Viper leaned in closer and Spencer moved forward, almost shielding you.

“Oh, Dr. Reid, moving to protect the lady, hmm? How often do you have to rely on that title of yours to help you bring women home?” He almost laughed.

“Frankly, “Viper”, the way you talk to women is completely demeaning and utterly disgusting. We will come back with a warrant and will be investigating your supposed alibis, because right now you are a prime suspect in a murder investigation.” Spencer got in Viper’s face, his face as cold as stone. You’d never seen him get his back up in this way, usually it was Morgan.

“I have receipts to back up my whereabouts last night, for your information.”

“If you have any questions, call the Atlanta police department.” You said quietly, handing him a card with the number written out on the back. He looked you up and down one more time and replaced the ridiculous furry hat back on his head.

You followed Spencer out the door and back to the car, almost unable to keep up with his pace.

“Spence, what’s up?” He looked out the window, not saying anything. You could sense his anger.

“What’s wrong?” You pressed.

“I don’t like the way Viper was looking at you or talking to you.” He spat. “He was looking at you the way a predator looks at literal prey; you are so much more than that.”

Your face softened, and you rested a hand on his shoulder.

“I appreciate you standing up for me, that was very sweet.” You whispered, giving him a small smile. His heart fluttered, and he mustered up a small smile in return.

“Anytime, (Y/N/N).” He looked back out the window and subconsciously unclenched his fists at your sides, making you smile a little more.

Your ride back to the police station was very quiet, Spencer was still angry at Viper’s disgusting nature, and was completely against Morgan and Hotch’s idea to send you into a club as bait.

“This is ridiculous!” He said, crossing his arms.

“Spence, it’s fine. If it’s what I have to do, then it’s what I have to do.” You said, beginning to get frustrated. You appreciated more than anything how much Spencer cared, it made your heart do backflips, but you could take care of yourself. You’d been an FBI agent for 4 and a half years, and trained with Morgan regularly. Worst case scenario, you could handle yourself.

“It’s not fine, (Y/N). You were already subjected to Viper once today, now you have to go act as the prey for the unsub? What if he kidnaps you?”

“Reid, we’re going to be stationed at the bar and on the floor handing out fliers. Nothing is going to happen.” Spencer walked out of the room, Prentiss following close behind.

You crossed your arms and huffed. Hotch looked at you, and then looked away. You knew what you had to do, and you were determined to save some lives tonight, whether Spencer liked it or not.

“Are you ladies almost ready?” Hotch said on the other side of the door.

“Yeah, Hotch, we’ll be out in 5 minutes.” Emily called back. You could hear Hotch’s retreating footsteps, and resumed your conversation.

“Did he really say that?” Emily asked, securing an earring.

“Yep. Verbatim.”

“Wow, I can’t believe Reid had the guts to stand up to Viper like that, or that Viper even had the audacity to say something like that!”

“When you’re a misogynistic narcissist, anything is possible.”

Emily laughed in response as you looked at yourself in the full body mirror, smiling a little bit. As much as you hated to admit it, you did look good. You were in a tight red dress with a plunging neckline, gold jewelry, and red heels. You adorned a smokey eye look and teased your hair, completing the outfit. If nothing else, you were definitely ready for the club. Prentiss’s outfit was similar, except black with silver accessories. You opened the door to find your knights awaiting, and a few dropped jaws.

“Phew, you ladies clean up nice. You sure you’re alright with this?” Morgan said, directing the question at you.

“Yeah. Where’s Reid?” You asked, Spencer nowhere in sight. Morgan frowned and stuck his hands in his pockets.

“He’s waiting in the car.” Hotch said, looking at Morgan. Morgan shrugged his shoulders as you followed them to the car you were set to take, separately from the rest of the team so it looked like you were going in on your own.

“Spencer’s jaw would drop harder than Morgan’s if he saw you back there,” Emily said, a knowing look crossing her features. You snorted a little.

“Yeah right, he wouldn’t notice anything was different.” Months ago on a ladies night with Emily, JJ, and Penelope, you’d confessed your crush on Spencer to them after a few glasses of wine too many. Since then, they’d done everything they could to try and make sure you two would get together, but to no avail. Either Spencer was pretty good at hiding his true feelings, or he just did not feel the same way.

You were hoping for option 1.

You arrived at the club a lot sooner than you would’ve liked, and entered beside Prentiss.

“Just pretend like it’s another ladies night.” She said. You nodded and headed straight for the bar while she went to find a hightop to stand at.

“Two margaritas, please.” You told the bartender, who flashed a white smile. You smiled back softly and looked at the sea of people crowding the dance floor, looking for any sort of activity that caught your eye. On the other side of the bar, something did catch your eye. Spencer. He was staring at you, and when he noticed you looking back, he reverted his attention to Morgan. You frowned, and thanked the bartender.

“Spence was staring at me.” You said as you placed your drinks on the table. Prentiss raised her eyebrows and nodded at Morgan, who nodded back. He and Spencer moved slightly away from the bar to pass out fliers and ask if anyone had seen the man from the sketch.

You mindlessly sipped your marg when a familiar scent hit your nose, and rose your eyes to meet Viper’s.

“Oh no.” You said, giving Prentiss a look.

“Hello again, fancy meeting you here. Decide to take me up on my offer to see me on my turf?” He asked.

“No.” You said.

“Well, maybe I can pique your friend’s interest here. How are you, Sweetheart?” Prentiss glared.

“Here to prey on some younger women?” She asked, cocking an eyebrow. Viper frowned, but recovered quickly.

“If that means you, then yes ma’am. To what do I owe the pleasure?” He asked, trying to take her hand. She snapped her hand back to her body, and looked annoyed.

“If you aren’t here to help us, walk away.” She said, clenching her teeth. Viper shrugged and headed back in the direction of the bar, probably to find some other poor soul.

“He is not real.”

“I wish that were true.” You both took a long drag from your drinks, and found your eyes wandering towards the tall, curly haired genius. It was hard to find him at first, until you picked him out as the most uncomfortable man in the room. Morgan was beside him, also without any fliers, pointing to various women in the room. Spencer was nodding, as if taking mental notes about whatever Morgan was saying.

“Women like it when you can make them laugh. I know your sense of humor is a bit questionable, but if you can get her laughing, you’re definitely on your way there.” Spencer nodded, finding his gaze locked on you. You looked absolutely stunning in your red dress, barely coming above your knees. Your makeup accentuated your gorgeous eyes and your hair framed your face, and Spencer was breathless.

“Hey, stay with me, Pretty Boy. These tips can work on her too, I promise.” He nodded in your direction with a knowing smirk. Spencer’s cheeks flushed and he turned his attention to the bartender, who was talking to a couple of younger girls. He approached her and gave her a shy smile and a wave, pulling a spare flier from his pocket.

“Have you seen this guy walking around tonight?” He asked. The bartender shook her head and moved on to the man next to her, filling a drink order as she spoke.

“He looks familiar, but so do all the men I come across around here. He’s a common character.” She nodded to the paper in Spencer’s hand. She clearly wasn’t interested, too busy to be.

“Alright, then can I ask you something?” He said, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. She placed the drink down in front of the man next to him, turning her attention back to Spencer.

“Shoot.” She looked down the bar and saw that the other bartender had taken a few guests at a time, so she had a free minute.

Now he was across the room, talking to the female bartender. He was performing a magic trick for her, causing your blood to boil. She was giggling and touching his arm, and you could see the blush on his cheeks from across the room.

You grabbed your drink and were ready to march over there, when Prentiss caught your arm.

“I think I know who the unsub is,” You looked at her, thoughts of Spencer long forgotten.

“I was thinking about what you were saying about Viper’s speech today- the thing about squashing the queen bee.” Sparks collided in your brain as your eyes widened, connecting the dots.

“I’ll grab Spencer and Morgan, tell Hotch and let’s get out of here.” You chugged the rest of the margarita and felt it immediately, marching over to Spencer and Morgan much more confidently than you should have.

“We know who the unsub is,” You said, primarily to Morgan.

“Who?” Spencer asked, abandoning the magic trick and the bartender. She walked away without a second glance. Your glare hardened as you turned on your heel, walking out of the bar.

Morgan and Reid looked at each other before following you outside, watching as you jumped in the car with Prentiss and Hotch. Rossi pulled up in a car beside them, and they hopped in too. Spencer and Morgan put their vests on in the car and Spencer allowed his mind to wander. You’d looked so angry back there. Did he say something? He was only angry on your behalf earlier, he didn’t think you would be upset with him for something so trivial. He frowned as you all pulled up outside of the house.

You hopped out after Prentiss, still in your dress, but changed into black high top converse. You looked somehow even better with the dress and the converse, your hair still wild and free. Spencer gulped as he unholstered his gun, following behind Morgan. You were the first to enter the house, clearing almost half of the downstairs by the time Morgan and Reid caught up. You started up the stairs when you’d heard a crash from behind a door.

“He’s in there!” You yelled, jumping down the stairs to kick down the basement door. “FBI you’re under arrest!” You screamed down the stairs, making your way down with Morgan hot on your heels.

“Put your weapon down.” Morgan said, aiming right for his head. The unsub simply laughed.

“Or what, you’ll shoot me, pretty girl? I don’t think so.” The unsub inched closer, and you trained your gun on his head.

“One more step and you die. I don’t really think you want that, though.” You remained firm, and the unsub lost his nerve. The knife clattered as it hit the ground, the victim crying as she wriggled in her restraints behind him.

Morgan cuffed him and forced him upstairs, and as Reid approached you, you followed behind them. Reid frowned once more and followed Prentiss and Rossi back upstairs. Luckily, the unsub had slipped up and led the trail right to his home and the latest victim, who you were able to save. No harm had come to her when you had gotten there, although the disemboweling seemed like it was about to begin. It was safe to say she was scarred psychologically.

You stood a bit apart, arms crossed over your chest. You didn’t even hear Spencer approach.

“I don’t think I got the chance to tell you this, neither at the club or at the police station. You look beautiful,” Spencer’s brown eyes glistened, boring into yours.

“Thanks.” You said.

“I can tell by your tone and body language that you’re upset with me, but I still haven’t quite worked out why.” He pressed, standing in front of you, hands in his pockets.

“You don’t think I can handle myself.” You said, raising your eyes to meet his. He scrunched his face in confusion.

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to; it was the way you were so angry at the police station earlier today. It didn’t seem like you thought I could do it or handle it.” You glared. Your expression softened when Spencer frowned.

“I didn’t mean to make you think that, I was just worried about you. I don’t know what I would do with myself if anything happened to you,” Spence said quietly, taking your hand in his. All your anger dissipated the moment he took your hand.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

You were quiet for a minute, contemplating bringing up what you saw between Spencer and the bartender. You decided against it, and opted to give him a hug.

“I appreciate how much you care, Spence.” You said into his shoulder. He gratefully returned the hug, elated that you were no longer angry with him. You both pulled away and rejoined your team, heading for the jet. You both slept the entire plane ride, since you were able to change into a pair of leggings and a hoodie. Spencer’s hoodie.

Spencer walked you to your car as he did after most cases, just so he could be secure in knowing you were safe for another night. You had been debating the entire walk whether or not it was a good idea to bring up the bartender, and you eventually decided to ask. You had to know whether or not to move on.

“Spence,” You broke the silence as you approached your car. He turned his attention to you, his eyes tired. “Whatever happened with the bartender from the club?” You asked, absentmindedly picking at your nails. He picked up on it right away, and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“What do you mean?” He took your hand to stop your nail picking. You frowned. He rubbed his thumb across your knuckles to prompt you to continue.

“You were flirting with her and I wasn’t sure how it went.” You hadn’t thought past asking the question, therefore you didn’t have a very good reason why you were asking. Spencer looked unconvinced, but decided to bite anyway.

“Nothing happened, I didn’t get her number or anything. She wasn’t really my type.” He said, nodding. You nodded in return and smiled. He smiled, but furrowed his eyebrows further. “Why?” He smirked a little.

“I was just curious.”

“Uh huh. What’s the actual reason?”

“I WAS curious!”

“With ulterior motives, I’m sure.”

You shifted your weight between your feet, suddenly uncomfortable under his gaze. He raised his eyebrows and closed the already shrinking gap between you, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. He pulled away and raised his eyebrows as if to ask, “Is that why?”. You reached up and pulled his face back down to yours in another soft, warm kiss.

“Yeah. I was a little bit jealous.” You said, slightly breathless. Spencer smiled softly, and intertwined your fingers.

“Why were you jealous?” You sighed, and smiled up at him.

“Because I like you, dummy.” His eyebrows shot up as if you told him the secret to curing cancer, and slowly processed a response.

“I-I like you too.” You pressed a final kiss to his warm lips and grinned into it, letting your forehead come to rest against yours.

“I should have known the way you were drooling over me in that dress.” You whispered. He looked away and swallowed, running a hand through his hair.

“Goodnight, Spence.” You rolled your eyes as you threw your go bag in your back seat. He was grinning like a doofus as he made his way to his car, receiving a text from you as soon as he got in.

“You’re such a little dork, Reid. You’re lucky you’re adorable.” The warm feeling washed over Spencer once again as he held his phone to his chest, smiling like an idiot his entire drive home.

euripheus:

I love their friendship

two alpha males

spencer reid smut!

warnings: this is my first smut?, i haven’t been able to write x reader smut so this is x my criminal minds oc chloe!, also a lot of smut like wow

wc: 1633

———

Reid was worn out- the case was more than tiring, it was more than exhausting, it was full out draining. Couples being killed in a romantic situation… One that he and Chloe had been through a few times. Rose petals, mood music, sexy lingerie. He’d done nothing but race to catch the guy- before he could get to Chloe. He’d do anything to make sure she didn’t get hurt. Especially since she’d traveled with the team this time.

The team had all gone out into the field, which by the way never got less terrifying for Chloe, knowing that the love of her life might die confronting a serial killer. Then again, of course, there was almost nothing sexier than Spencer Reid with a gun.

Chloe was still outside, and still thinking. He’d said two alpha males, like he wasn’t one of them. But Chloe knew he was quite the alpha male when he wanted to be. (Which was anytime he got turned on. It’s like there was a switch in the back of his brain that just flipped whenever certain things got hot).

They all had one more night before they could get the jet back to Quantico. It had to fuel up before the flight- which was probably a safe idea. So, Chloe and Spencer settled in for the night.

“Hey, Spence, can I ask you something?” Chloe said, as they laid in bed, Spencer reading, Chloe just watching him take in the words at a million miles a minute.

Spencer looked up from his book, “Well, we have been together for… A few years now, Clo. I hope that you’d know you can ask me anything.” He smiled goofily.

“Well, it’s just… Earlier, when you were talking to Hotch, you said that she’d react differently to you than to an alpha male. Are you not an alpha male, Spence?” She teased, raising her eyebrows at him, taunting him. She knew he’d hate this.

“What? No! I was just saying that I don’t tend to come off as one-“

“Baby, were you trying to tell everyone that you don’t wanna be alpha? Maybe that I’m the one who wears the pants in our relationship?” Chloe moved towards him, whispering huskily into his ear once she’d crawled close enough.

Spencer was basically a cartoon at this point- you could see the steam coming out of his ears but he wasn’t ready to explode yet. That’s when Chloe climbed on top of him.

“Were you telling them you need to be dominated by little girl like me? That you’re not man enough to take me roughly right here?” She whispered in his ear, starting to kiss down his neck slowly.

Spencer huffed, clenching his fists, but still not speaking, as Chloe unbutton his shirt. “Were you telling all your teammates that you couldn’t control me? That maybe you need to be dominated like the pretty boy they all think you are?”

Spencer had finally had enough, he flipped Chloe over with ease so that he was positioned on top of her. “You know damn well who’s gonna dominate who in this bed, princess.”

Chloe sighed, happy. This, of course, is what she’d been hoping for the entire time. “Why don’t you show me, Spence?”

And that’s all it took. Spencer was replaced with someone who looked like him, but had only one motivation: lust. Suddenly, with his shirt still all the way unbuttoned, he got off of Chloe.

“Shirt off, now. I can’t believe… You can’t just pull this shit, Clo!” Spencer ran a hand through his hair, practically boiling with rage. Chloe did as she was told, stripping off her tight shirt slowly, still not getting enough of Spencer like this.

“Oh but Dr. Reid, how could the gangly boy genius ever dominate a strong girl like me? You know they’d never believe it.” She taunted again, knowing the deep shit she’d just gotten herself into.

Spencer, at this point, was done with this bullshit. He got back onto the bed, slamming his hands on either side of Chloe’s face, getting as close as he could to her while being able to see her whole face.

“Oh, you know you’d be so frustrated without me, princess. I know how you feel about my hands, about my hair, about my lips.” His lips grazed her ear as he whispered angrily, “You know damn well no one else could make you feel like I make you feel, because no one else could ever dominate you like I do.”

And with that he pressed his lips to hers roughly, caring more about the actual contact of their flesh beneath them- their bare stomachs were touching, and he could feel how shallow her breathing was. He discarded the open fronted shirt and leaned down to whisper to her again, “You’re going to scream for me tonight, princess, and you’re not gonna hold back. Got it?” He asked, looking at Chloe for a response.

She was too eager to muster much of one, so all she could say was, “Oh, Dr. Reid, if you only knew how much of your name the people in this hotel will be hearing tonight.”

Their lips were connected once again, with Chloe’s hands in Spencer’s shorter hair cut, pulling and tugging at it every so often, making Spencer moan involuntary. Spencer however, had one hand on the bed to keep himself steady, and the other running up and down her side, not paying any specific attention to any place, just ghosting over the bare skin.

Chloe gasped, “Baby, please…” She whispered, forgetting about what Spencer had said earlier.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t quite hear that, princess. Speak up.”

She whimpered lightly, “Baby, I need you to do something, anything. Fuck, I’m desperate for you.” She said, louder this time.

Spencer laughed silently, “Same old Chloe, no patience.” He shook his head, “Good things come to those who wait.”

He brought his head down to kiss her neck, the valley between her breasts, and her stomach, before bringing his hands back up to pay attention to her still clothed chest. The cups were lightly padded, and she’d always been so sensitive. One firm grasp and she’d gasped.

When he started to kiss her again, entangling their tongues, without even a fight for dominance, Chloe knew the time for her teasing was over. He roughly massages her breasts as they kissed, the feelings of his girlfriends moans against his lips making him even harder than he previously was.

He pulled back from her completely, sitting up so that his hips were aligned with hers. “Princess, you made fun of me earlier. You know what you need to do to make up for it, right?” He asked, shifting his weight off of her and allowing her to climb on top of him again.

She nodded, “Of course, Dr. Reid.” She kissed his neck again, this time taking her time to suck and bite at it as he’d done to her- dear god this was going to be fun to cover up in the morning. Good thing she’d packed a turtleneck…

As she heard his moans from her assault on his neck she brought a hand down and started palming him through his jeans.

“Come on, now, princess.” He grunted, “No teasing.”

She batted her eyelashes at him and smiled innocently, much like she had earlier, “But Dr…. That’s what makes it fun.” She kissed down his stomach, his toned body still amazing her to this day. When she reached his belt buckle she skillfully undid it, tossing it to the side as she unbuttoned his jeans.

What she did next is something Spencer would never forget. She took the zipper in her mouth, and making eye contact with him, unzipped his pants. He practically felt himself cum at the sight. Once his pants were off she wasted no time ridding him of his boxers, leaving him fully vulnerable in front of her. She smiled at him, taking his length in her hand and slowly pumping. Agonizingly slow. She brought her thumb up to swipe the precum already gathering at his tip. She brought her face down, and while never looking away from Spencer, kissed the tip lightly. The kissed it again, this time stopping and licking up the remaining precum. Spencer moaned again, unable to hold it in. Even after all this time her skills amazed him.

She took her lips off of him and looked up at him, “When I’m done teasing… Are you gonna help me, Doctor?” He nodded, and she went back to her work. She pumped once more before removing her hand completely and licking a full stripe up his member. She then took the head in her mouth, swirling her tongue around it. He moaned again, bucking his hips up to her slowly, and twisting a hand in her hair.

That was her cue to get going. She slowly took as much of him into her mouth as she could, and drew back at the same pace. She slowly quickened her pace, taking more and more of him and his hand helped her head bob up and down. He was a moaning mess, just hips still bucking up to meet her mouths motions.

She felt him twitch in her mouth and let out a little moan, the vibrations sending him completely over the edge. She looked him in the eyes again as she swallowed his load, licking her lips after removing her mouth from him. He caught her lips in a loving kiss.

He then pulled back, his eyes still full of lust, “Now it’s your turn to scream my name, princess.”

the end! i might write a part two if this is any good ;))

you ever watch criminal minds for hours at night and then you hear something and you end up profiling your closet

TW: Suicide, abuse, kidnapping, blood, death

Note: Sorry for any spelling or grammatical mistakes, I didn’t go back through it LOL, but I may in the future. Enjoy !!! 

Request: “hi was wondering if i could request a reid x sister fic where the reader gets a boyfriend and spencer doesn’t like him and it turns out the boyfriend is an unsub. i love your work so much!!!”

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Sister!Reader

()()()()()()

When Spencer met your boyfriend for the first time, he told you immediately after that he didn’t like him. He began explaining the signs he was noticing, but you didn’t dare to listen. You told him he was a great guy, and that he was just being over protective because he was your brother. You told him to stop profiling everyone you meet, that who you date and who you’re friends with is entirely up to you, and that he should just let you live things out on your own. Of course, you did appreciate his concerns, but you just figured he was a bit overdramatic. I mean, you were all just kids, and of course Spence would have a biased view on you hanging out or dating someone.

Your boyfriend’s name was Noah. You’d been dating for about four months, he had wavy hair, dressed pretty plainly, very smart, and liked classic rock (Except Led Zeppelin, damn did he hate that band.) You’d met after the death of a mutual friend, Elaine Richards, a year ago, and the two of you became close after helping each other through such a hard time. You hung out all the time, called all the time, merged your friend groups together. Everything. And you loved him. Your friends all knew you both liked each other, and eventually, you finally went out on a date.

School had ended, and you had just got to the apartment to actually see Spencer in it, which was a very rare occurrence. 

“Hey Spence! I didn’t know you were off.” you said with a smile.

“I’m not, actually. There’s a case locally.” he said, which turned your smile o a frown.

“Well that’s not good.” you replied, trying to lighten his mood. He seemed stressed and aggravated, as that happened every once in a while when a case was particularly difficult. It always made you feel bad for him., “We should go do something before you have to go back. You know, some good ol’ sibling bonding.” 

“Sorry, Y/N, but not today. Serial killers don’t exactly wait for ‘sibling bonding.”” he sighed, annoyed. You figured at this point you’d just leave him to his thoughts, and decided to go out.

“I’m going out with Noah then. “ you replied, grabbing some of your things together. You didn’t’t notice, but this grabbed Spencer’s attention.

“No, Y/N, you’re staying here. This guy that’s out there is killing people who look like you. You fit his type.” he explained, “And I don’t trust Noah, not for a second.” 

“Jesus, Spencer, can you stop profiling literally everyone? There’s thousands of girls in this city that look like me, what makes you think I’m the one he’s gonna scoop up?” you realized that was a bit insensitive, and that you probably should care about those other girls, “Besides, wouldn’t it be safer to not be alone? You’re going back to the BAU anyway.” 

“Y/N, seriously, this can happen to anyone. You of all people should know that.” he answered. You knew what he was referring to. So a girl almost gets kidnapped once, and suddenly must live her whole life in fear.

“Spencer, that was a while ago.” you said in a small voice, “I don’ want to be afraid of it anymore.”

At that point, Spencer sighed and realized that he most likely shouldn’t have brought up the experience. He of all people should know that this was your way of trying to move on, and bringing up the past would mostly just set you back majorly, but his answer still stayed the same, “I shouldn’t have brought the up, but you’re still not going. I don’t trust Noah, you know that. Especially with a serial killer on the loose, Y/N. You’re staying home.”

This just pissed you off, “You know, you’re not right 100% of the time. You think you know everything about everybody you meet, but you literally do not. Noah is so good to me, and you just bash him and for what? I get you’re worried, but it’s started to get old. I’m not a kid anymore.” 

You walked off into your room without any other words being exchanged, and had decided you would just go anyway once Spencer left. You aren’t generally the rebellious type, but every once in a while you liked to have a little fun here and there. Spencer wasn’t home for long, after finding whatever it was he was looking for, and you just walked out the front door ten minutes after he did, texting Noah along the way. 

Your boyfriend lived nearby, so it didn’t really take him long to come driving up in his black sedan. You loved his car. It was so sleek, had a brown leather interior, a wood dashboard, and just drove beautifully. If he ever put it up for sale, you would buy it. But once you got into the car, you realized something was off. Noah seemed antsy, like something was bothering him.

“Hey, baby, what’s going on?” you asked, concerned. Noah got like this every once in a while, and you figure dit was just anxiety or something along those lines, and all you could ever do was jus be there for him.

“It’s nothing don’t worry about it.” he answered, somewhat blandly. Almost monotone, like he wasn’t happy to be there. But he was, and for what reason you were unaware. 

“Alright.” you said, “Let’s go to the mall, but not the one downtown, the one off the highway.” 

“No.” he snapped. He then recognized your surprised expression, “I mean, sorry, I just have a surprise for you.” this made you smile. Your boyfriend had always been a hopeless romantic, and he would constantly surprise you with nice dinners, cute gifts, and it just made your heart warm. He drove for a while, to an area you’d actually never been o that seemed to be completely secluded. There were empty fields, and eventually an old house that looked to be abandoned. You didn’t pass by much after that, except for one cemetery and a church. Even you had to admit, it was a bit weird, but knowing Noah, you knew to just be patient. He didn’t talk much the whole time, and just sat there smiling as he drove. The windows were closed, and you also noticed the doors were locked, but thought nothing of it.

“Spencer wasn’t even going to let me go out tonight, isn’t that so stupid? Like, he said some wack about some serial killer who’s been killing girls nearby. I looked it up, but they kinda seem to be right outside of town, like the dude’s avoiding it or something. I guess that girl from the Washington High soccer team got killed, too. It’s sort of scary.”

“That’s a shame.” was all he said in response.

Eventually, you pulled up to another house. It was absolutely destroyed, but you trusted him anyway. Stupidly. The two fo you walked in, and walked down to its basement. You knew Noah really dug these abandoned places, and you did, too, but the basement was full of rusted weapons, ropes, a table in the middle with restraints. It hadn’t clicked just yet.

“Noah, I don’t think I’m really fe-“ you turned around and were he was, gun in hand, pointe dat you, “What are you doing?”

“Get in the chair, and don’t scream.” he demanded. His whole personality changed. He was dominant, and his voice was heavier. You complied. He tied you tightly to it.

“So it’s you then?” you asked, weirdly calm. 

“Shut the hell up, Y/N.” and you did. You looked around you as he walked into another room. Looking to your right you noticed a shelf full of random things, mostly girl’s clothes and rings. Until you recognized one of them. A brown sweater with a tear in the shoulder, folded neatly on he bottom. Your heart stopped.

That was Elaine’s. And you had cut the shoulder open by accident after the two of you were messing around.

“Elaine?” you whispered, “You killed Elaine, didn’t you? She didn’t kill herself, you did! This whole time you faked it? You killed her and I mourned her and you pretended to feel with me? You killed her?” It was now that you fully processed what was happening. Your mind was racing, your heart was pounding, and all you could think about was the amount of clothes up on that shelf, and the fact that you were about to die. The items on the shelf far exceeded the numbers on the news. 

“I said shut the hell up, Y/N” he screamed, hitting you across the face with something solid, which knocked you out quickly, but not for long. The dizziness and pain when you woke up two minutes later was almost unbearable, and you had to re-process what was happening to you all over again.

Until your phone rang from the other side of the room. He must’ve taken it while you were out, and the ringtone was specialized to let you know that it was Spencer who was calling. 

“If I don’t answer it he’ll know. He’ll track everything from before I got here.” you said. Noah shot you a look, but promptly brought the phone to you. 

“Say anything, and I’ll make it painful.” he held a gun to you again, and your heart rate went up. He slide the phone open.

“Y/N?” you’d never been happier to hear your brother’s voice, “Where are you? I told you to stay home, and you’re not here.”

“Sorry,” your voice wavered slightly, “I just really missed Elaine Richards. I went to Southwoods Cemetery to visit her.”

Spencer sighed, “Please get back here as soon as possible, Y/N.” and he hung up. You prayed he picked something up.

()()()()()()

Spencer knew as soon as you spoke that something was wrong. Firstly, you’d never referred to your friend by first and last name, and Spencer actually hadn’t really known her last name until now, and secondly, Elaine wasn’t buried at Southwoods Cemetery. She was buried in the complete opposite direction, actually, at Rose Hill. He couldn’t pinpoint why you would say Southwoods, and why you would talk about Elaine, but he completely forgot about his case, and sped back to the BAU. 

The team knew instantly hat something wasn’t right when Spencer came back to the office. He couldn’t pay attention to the case evidence enough to put it together, and wasn’t staying on track.

“Reid, what’s going on?” Hotch asked him.  Spencer shook his head.

“Something’s not right.” he said, “Y/N went out earlier, but something’s not adding up.”

“I’m sure she’s alright, kid, teenagers go out all the time.” Morgan joked.

“No, no, really. I understand how the teenage mind develops, and how their brains develop. I know that rebellion is primarily a process that teens go through almost as a way to reject a “child” identity. I know that. But this wasn’t that. I told her not to go out, but she did anyway.” he rambled.

“Spence, kids do that.” JJ reassured.

“No, it’s not right. When I called to ask where she was, she would’ve lied. She wouldn’t have known I was home. She said she was visiting her friend’s grave, but she used her full name and said the wrong cemetery, her voice wavered, but nervously, not in a way that expresses sadness. If she had snuck out, she wouldn’t tell me she went there, and especially get the cemetery wrong when she’s been going to Rose Hill practically religiously. Southwoods is in an area she barely ever goes to.” he explained. Then his eyes grew a bit, “Garcia, can you trace her call?”

“I can try.” she said, rushing back to her computers, the team close behind. They knew not to question Spence, most of the time he was right. They all sat there for about three minutes before Garcia spoke up again, “That’s weird.”

“What?” Prentiss spoke up.

“Reid, her phone pinged off of like, twelve different towers in the two minutes you called her. I can’t track a location for the last hour.” she turned to him, concerned. The team all looked at each other worriedly. 

“We’ll have to split up, we’ve still go a case and this is off protocol.” Hotch broke the silence, bearer of bad news.

“No, actually, I think it’s the same case.” Spencer sighed. He looked up at them, “She fits the UnSub’s type.”

“You can’t be a part of this then, Spencer.” Hotch replied, which caused him to whip around, “It’s personal now. You’re  victim.”

“There’s no say in this.” Spencer had never defied Hotch’s authority before, but his sister was missing, “What do we have so far?”

“Well, we know he’s a sadist, white male, probably in his 30’s. He’d be social, fit in with a crowd. Probably good with the ladies, which means he sticks out, but not too much.” Prentiss relayed. Spencer thought for a moment. Who would you know that fit that profile at all. This UnSub seemed to make a connection with these girls beforehand. The team thought that maybe the victims were a surrogate to a daughter, or a sister.

“I don’t know how this related to Elaine and Southwoods. Southwoods is an hour and a half away, I had only been gone for about an hour, so she couldn’t have made it there yet.”

“Reid, who is Elaine?” Morgan asked.

“Elaine Richards. She was a friend of Y/N’s who died about a year ago. She committed suicide.”  Spencer explained. They were all silent for a moment.

“Garcia, can you bring up a picture of Elaine?” JJ asked. The analyst nodded and did so quickly, showing a picture of a brown hair, brown eyed, thin girl. It was saddening, really. They’re always too young. But JJ had confirmed her thought, “Spence, what if it wasn’t a suicide?” 

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“She fits his victim ideal, the hair, the eyes. Her file says she was smart, she had friends. They interviewed an ex boyfriend, her father, so on.” JJ explained, “What if Y/N stumbled onto something she shouldn’t have? Maybe Elaine was one of his victims staged as a suicide. The profile says he became active a few weeks ago, but what if it’s been a year? Maybe he’s been testing things out until he finally got something he liked.” 

“Garcia, bring up Elaine’s autopsy report. Is there anything about anything that matches up with his current MO?” Spencer asked, “Elaine was found at the basin of a bridge within the water. It was written that she had jumped off.” 

“Uhh,” she hesitated, “I’m not seeing anything… Wait. Yes, yes there is. The UnSub usually cuts three lines on their necks, right? Elaine had them, too, but there was loads of glass under her, so it was written off that she’d been cut when she reached the ground.” 

“This means he’s been at it for at least a year, then. The profile is wrong. This changes everything.” Prentiss sighed. Spencer still couldn’t pinpoint who you would’ve trusted enough that fit the rest of the profile, until it hit him. Noah.

“I knew there was something wrong with that boy.” Spencer said aloud, “Y/N’s boyfriend, Noah. He fits every part of the profile. We got the age wrong, he’s a teenager. He knew Elaine, too.”

“Noah’s the name of the ex boyfriend they interviewed.” Garcia stated. “Noah Allen.” 

“That’s him.” Spencer said, “What do we know about him?”

“Well, his parents are divorced, his mother lives somewhere in California while his father- oh geez. His father has a history of abuse towards his second ex-wife, who,” she stopped, “this poor kid. His second ex wife committed suicide after trying to file multiple reports of abuse towards her and Noah about three years ago. His father was finally convicted a year ago and sentenced to life in prison.” 

“That must’ve been the trigger. He blames her for his father being sent away.” Hotch said.

“But why would he be angry? Wouldn’t he be happy to see his abuser in prison?” Garcia asked.

“He’s lived with his father his whole life. Most likely he’d developed some kind of Stockholm Syndrome or was manipulated into thinking that’s how life was. He thinks his father can do no wrong.” Morgan said.

“But what’s this have to do with Southwoods? She wouldn’t have made it that far, and something tells me they were already at their destination.” JJ asked.

“Who owns Southwoods?” Spencer asked.

“Let me see… The Burke Family. They also own funeral homes.” Garcia said.

“Do they own any other cemeteries?” 

“Yes, one, Marshall Fields Cemetery. It’s in a more secluded area. It was considered completely full a few months ago.” she replied.

“Garcia, are there any properties around there that Noah’s family would’ve owned? Even a family friend?” Morgan jumped in.

“His uncle owned a house about a mile and a half up the road. It’s the only house in a two mile radius. It was foreclosed a few years ago and hasn’t been bought or even kept up since.” she said, “I’m sending you the address now.” 

“Let’s go.” Hotch demanded. The team ran to the garage and jumped into the SUV’s, but Hotch stopped Spencer beforehand, “You know you could get in trouble for this. This case is too personal.”

‘“I really don’t even care.” Spencer answered, quite informally. Hotchner sighed, and let him go.

()()()()()() 

It’d been a few hours by this point. You were beaten up, bloody, concussed probably. Noah had used a whole slew of different objects to torture you, pipes, knives, anything he could find. You could barely stay awake, but he wouldn’t let you fall asleep.

“I’m not going to let you die, yet.” he said with a twisted smile, “That ruins all the fun.” 

“They’ll come for you.” you replied faintly, blood dripping from your mouth. He yanked your head back by your hair, which caused a deafening wail from the bottom of your throat.

“They won’t find me. If they could, they would’ve by now.” he giggled. He tightened your wrists until you almost couldn’t feel your hands. Your shoulders were sore from being tied behind your back, but that didn’t amount to the pain in the rest of your body. You bleeding out practically everywhere, you could feel the start of every bruise forming, your head spun and pounded, and you were convinced you had a few broken ribs at least. 

“W-why?” you huffed out with tears.

“Why? Why? I’ll tell you why. I spent my whole life looking up to my father, but it’s women like you who ruin men’s lives. And for what? For attention? For power? You’ll never be on the same playing field, but the system is so messed up that it threw my father in prison for something that wasn’t his fault. He didn’t make Brenda kill herself, she did that on her own. And her reasoning? How she cried about him abusing us?” he let out a posh laugh, “That’s just how the world is. She should’ve known her place like I knew mine. And should’ve never spoken for me.” 

“Why me?” your face twisted in pain as you spoke, but if you were going to die, you at east had to know.

“I just told you!” he slapped you, causing you to sob, “It’s stupid women like you, Y/N. You just exist to ruin lives, and I’m going to stop you before you start.” 

But the door upstairs burst open just then, causing him to look. You smiled mischieviously, “They’re here. You better let them get to you before I do.” you threatened. It was an empty threat of course, given your state, but you felt so much rage that you honestly thought you might’ve killed him, too, which scared you.

“Noah Allen, FBI!” you recognized Emily’s voice, and it was like music to your ears. 

Noah had moved towards you and covered your mouth, holding a gun to your head, waiting for them to come down stairs. You watched frantically as you saw JJ and Morgan step carefully down.

“Noah, drop your weapon.” JJ demanded. At this point, Spencer, Hotch, and Prentiss joined them after hearing JJ speak. Spencer’s expression was horrified, and angry. 

“Death is an honor, you know.” Noah taunted as he pulled your head slightly back. 

“Noah, you don’t have to do this. If you cooperate, we can lessen your sentence, and we can negotiate a deal for your father.” Hotch said. Noah’s head turned slightly.

“That’s not how the system works and you know it. You’re lying!” he yelled.

“That’s not how the system works for civilians. I’m the Unit Chief of the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI. I can pull some strings, but only if you let her go.” he said. Spencer was surprised, Hotch never really used lying as a coercion, but he understood that all this boy wanted was his father to be free, and that he wasn’t a rational thinker. He’d fall for it.

“Swear? Swear on God?” Noah asked.

“Yes, Noah, I swear on God.” Hotch said. The boy lowered his weapon and came closer, but was startled when Morgan quickly, and not so kindly cuffed him.

“What? What are you doing?” he yelled out.

“Noah Allen, you are under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer quest-“

“What the hell! You lied! I’ll kill you for ly-“

“Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future.” and with that Morgan walked him out with a few other backup, while the rest of the BAU rushed towards you.

“Y/N? Are you okay? Can you hear me? What hurts?” Spencer asked questions at about a mile a minute, but you ignored them.

“I g-guess,” you painfully said, “I guess this is that part where you say ‘I told you so.’ huh?” 

“Y/N, I don’t care about that.” he said, holding your face trying to check for any signs of concussions, that were definitely there, while Prentiss and JJ worked on getting you untied. One you were, you tried to stand up, stupidly.

“Woah, woah, woah,” Hotch said as you almost fell and hit the floor, “take it easy.”

You had your arm wrapped around Spencer while JJ had her hand pressed on your upper back and above your chest to keep you balanced.

“Heh, so humble.” were your last words before blacking out.

“A medic! Somebody get a medic, goddammit!” Spencer yelled, as he and JJ slowly followed you to the door, “Y/N? Stay awake.” 

()()()()()()

You woke up with bright white lines shining in your eyes. Confused you tried to sit up, but painfully failed.

“Y/N? Wait, Y/N, no, no, no, no, no, lay down.” you heard Morgan’s voice and felt him slowly and gently push you back down to the pillow, “How you feeling, kiddo?”

“Like sunshine.” you mumbled sarcastically. You heard Spencer chuckle, “I’m sorry. You were right.”

“Y/N, it doesn’t matter. I’m just glad you’re safe now.” he said. His face dropped, “Y/N, I’m honestly impressed by the hints you gave us. It was clever, and you just saved a bunch of lives.”

“They’re going to have to question you soon. They don’t care what condition you’re in.” Morgan stated.

“I don’t even really remember.” you whispered, eyes closing from exhaustion. 

“They’ll do a cognitive interview with you, then. It won’t be fun. But for now, get some rest.” Spencer knew that it didn’t matter what he said anyway, because you were already half way asleep. He was glad that you were falling asleep on your own accord, rather than from being knocked out or drugged up, and smiled at you. He swore then to do better at keeping you safe, and also not to underestimate you, either. How you knew that he would pick up on something as simple as a last name and a cemetery chain was beyond him, but it made him realize that you were actually much smarter than you ever let off. He patted your head gently, before falling asleep in a chair near your bed. 

whump-town:

Oh, Sinnerman 

Chapter Two

Words: 5,500

Same Warnings as Chapter One

Oh, sinnerman, where you gonna run to?

Flames dance behind his eyelids. Hotch sees a burning bush. He hears a deep thunderous voice calling out Moses! Moses! He sees a bush on fire but did not burn up. Take your son to the top of Moriah and kill your son there as a sacrifice to me. This must be Issac, your only son, the one you love. Use him as an offering– 

He wakes with a jolt, his body broken out in a cold sweat. He watches a tree pass above him. His tinnitus is horrid, making his temples pulse in a rigid band. He hears Abel, like a preacher on the radio coming in and out of service. Static, ringing. Then a decisive sermon. He’s reciting Exodus. Moses leading his people from slavery. 

“Abel?” his voice is weaker than he’s expecting but the sun beats down between the treetops and he’s dehydrated. “Abel, you have to–” He tries to sit up but quickly gives that idea up. His arms can’t hold his weight and his head spins dangerously. His stomach hurts so bad he can’t think straight. 

“Aaron,” Abel breathes wistfully, speaking to the trees. “The brother of Moses.” 

Hotch thinks Abel should begin in Genesis; And it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abraham his brother, and slew him. He’s stuck somewhere between compassion and loathing. His head aches fiercely, his stomach is tied into painful knots. His left shoe is gone and on some tarp, he’s being roughly pulled through the woods. Rocks hit his back. Sticks stab at him. And yet, he imagines the crime scene photos one more time. Imagines Abraham at the top of his mountain with his son and Abel lost in these woods. Both raise daggers to the throats of people they love. One Abraham is ready to kill his own son and another begs his brother to see reason. 

Only one was saved. 

He’s bleeding. 

A bush leans down over him, leaves grazing skin. On its tilted edge, a drop of blood gathers and he watches it. He looks at the blood on that leaf until the colors blur together until that brush is lost amidst the others. Leaving a trail is good, even if blood isn’t. 

He drops, suddenly. The tarp is released and no warning given. He can’t hold himself upright so he just falls down onto the ground. Left to stare hazily up at the tops of the trees. 

“Are you faithful, Aaron?” 

Keep reading

Oh, Sinnerman 

Chapter Two

Words: 5,500

Same Warnings as Chapter One

Oh, sinnerman, where you gonna run to?

Flames dance behind his eyelids. Hotch sees a burning bush. He hears a deep thunderous voice calling out Moses! Moses! He sees a bush on fire but did not burn up. Take your son to the top of Moriah and kill your son there as a sacrifice to me. This must be Issac, your only son, the one you love. Use him as an offering– 

He wakes with a jolt, his body broken out in a cold sweat. He watches a tree pass above him. His tinnitus is horrid, making his temples pulse in a rigid band. He hears Abel, like a preacher on the radio coming in and out of service. Static, ringing. Then a decisive sermon. He’s reciting Exodus. Moses leading his people from slavery. 

“Abel?” his voice is weaker than he’s expecting but the sun beats down between the treetops and he’s dehydrated. “Abel, you have to–” He tries to sit up but quickly gives that idea up. His arms can’t hold his weight and his head spins dangerously. His stomach hurts so bad he can’t think straight. 

“Aaron,” Abel breathes wistfully, speaking to the trees. “The brother of Moses.” 

Hotch thinks Abel should begin in Genesis; And it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abraham his brother, and slew him. He’s stuck somewhere between compassion and loathing. His head aches fiercely, his stomach is tied into painful knots. His left shoe is gone and on some tarp, he’s being roughly pulled through the woods. Rocks hit his back. Sticks stab at him. And yet, he imagines the crime scene photos one more time. Imagines Abraham at the top of his mountain with his son and Abel lost in these woods. Both raise daggers to the throats of people they love. One Abraham is ready to kill his own son and another begs his brother to see reason. 

Only one was saved. 

He’s bleeding. 

A bush leans down over him, leaves grazing skin. On its tilted edge, a drop of blood gathers and he watches it. He looks at the blood on that leaf until the colors blur together until that brush is lost amidst the others. Leaving a trail is good, even if blood isn’t. 

He drops, suddenly. The tarp is released and no warning given. He can’t hold himself upright so he just falls down onto the ground. Left to stare hazily up at the tops of the trees. 

“Are you faithful, Aaron?” 

Aaron. All he hears is his name – his ears conducting an intensely painful concert of forever ringing bells. Just trying to look at Abel hurts. The sun is too bright, even dulled by it’s passage through the trees. His head hurts. Faithful? He frowns, faithful? He doesn’t understand. It doesn’t make sense. He reaches for his phone but… His pockets are empty. That’s probably good a good thing? No wallet or keys or… gun. No gun. Damn. But these things must be discarded somewhere, a pile of proof to document the direction they’re headed. 

“Aaron.” Abel crouches down by his side and pushes his thumb against the weeping wound against Aaron’s forehead. “I apologize,” he says. “I’m afraid I hit you much harder than I originally anticipated.” He frowns, he seems to mean it which is more confusing than anything else. “I was afraid and I over-reacted.”

The tarp wrinkles as Aaron moves his hand, he nods. The mud is cold. The sticks damp from a recent rain. He finds a rock, cold and hard. A rock. He curls his fingers around it and feels its weight in his palm. 

“I hope you can forgive me.”

Breathing in slowly through his nose, Aaron swings his arm. His fingers end up pinched between the rock and Abel’s skull, an instant bloodied nailbed, but he can’t get further. Abel crumples, goes right down. Time is off the essence – he knows this somewhere in the back of his mind, it drives Aaron into movement. But he gets one sore shoulder to move, one aching arm up underneath him and his vision blackout. He gets nowhere. 

The sun is lower. 

Hotch’s first thought is Jack. The sun is too low. Jack needs to go to bed. He needs to.. 

He can’t remember. 

Beside him Abel groans, shifting but staying where he’s fallen. Move.Something in him screams. Anxiety lances up his stomach and painfully sits hot and heavy. Move.He pushes himself up slowly, taking a moment to gasp between waves of nausea. 

His knees buckle and he leans into a tree, grunting at the pain of leaning his body weight into thistles growing all around. More blood, that’s helpful. He needs to move. Move. Get out of here. 

He kicks up dirt in that first step, rocks and acorns and sticks. His fucking shoe. His left shoe is gone, missing. Abel moans again and Hotch knows he’s got no more time. 

[x.]

“And he just… disappeared?” 

Calling in what happened was uneventful. Only a few seconds had passed since Hotch tore off into the woods and she thought she knew he’d come back out – a few more scrapes and bruises and his clothes dirty but UNSUB in cuffs and his scowl in place. Only Hotch didn’t come back out. He just disappeared. And as JJ was realizing this the SUVs came into sight. Brown and black trooper cars coming in a swarm behind them. 

And Hotch was nowhere to be found.

JJ swallows nervously, eyes darting between the others. They’re in various stages of fury, all zeroed in on her. She’s confused about how this always happens to her. First Reid and now Hotch – and both with weird religious things going on? The odds of that have to be… impossible. 

“You have to understand,” Derek says, crossing his arms, “this doesn’t make any sense.”

JJ shrugs, “he – he just ran into the woods, Morgan. He called for–for, Uhm, Abel? The brother of the victim.” She holds her arms to her chest, glances at Emily pleads with her to say something. For anyone to say something and stop just staring at her. “I called you as soon as it happened. But–But the guy had a gun. I don’t think he hit Hotch but he shot at us.” She’s already explained this. Twice. Some guy comes out of the woods. She didn’t see him. Hotch did. The gun is what she heard but only after it was fired. She told Hotch to go. She stayed with the old woman. There’s nothing more to be said. 

Emily and Derek went into the woods to look, staying where they could be seen shouting out into the nothing and hearing nothing but their own voices in return. They know as well as she does, he’s just gone.

“Derek,” Emily finally warns, stepping in before Derek can make a complete ass of himself in the middle of his hopeless fear. “Leave her alone.” There’s a rogue stare-off. Derek already knows he’s in charge. The decision of next in command is Hotch’s and just a few short months ago that was Derek, leading them while Hotch took a step back. Pretended to unravel to give Foyet a show, a very convincing show. And Derek might be in-charge but Emily still has sway. It’s her advice that could sway any of Hotch’s decisions. Derek might be political, on paper in charge but they’ll listen to Emily just as quickly. Neither will win the silent battle of wits. 

Dave comes steadily back down the driveway to them, shaking his head. He’d gone to talk to the widow – she’d be more help anyway than standing down here getting mad at JJ for something stupid Hotch did. “Our UNSUB is Abel Boseman.” He nods in the direction of the woods, “his mother says he’s been living in an abandoned house on the other side of the woods.” He holds up a piece of paper, “I got the address. We gonna keep standing here talking nonsense or are we going to go do our jobs?”

They’re good kids, Dave knows, but some days he’d like to smack Emily Prentiss and Derek Morgan upside their big heads. What good are the two of them against one another? Aaron needs them. And he needs them to have clear, level heads. Not heads shoved up each other’s asses. 

Derek calls Penelope as they head up the old dirt road, all crammed into one SUV with Dave driving. It’s been a long time since any of them had to drive up a road in the state as this one is in. “What have you got baby girl?” It’s really just making them tenser but Garcia is always a lovely addition to the worst conversations. She’ll help. 

Garcia doesn’t answer right away, she’s not even sure she should. 

“Baby girl?”

She pulls in a shaky breath, “he’s going to be…” Tears gather in her eyes, she feels like she’s betraying Hotch. And she can’t stand it. Angry is the word that comes to mind but Hotch is never angry at them. He’s angry with things. Even when he is angry with them, he doesn’t take it out on them. But this… This might… “So I was looking at that the, ugh, that address Agent Rossi sent?” There’s a pause, dramatic and full of Garcia having no idea what the hell to do now. He’s going to be so upset with her and she can’t stand that thought. But they need to find him alive. Emotions are a symptom of life and he has to be alive to be upset with her. So she has to tell them. “It was owned by a Robert… Hotchner.” She clears her throat, “coincidentally… the same Robert Hotchner who, uhm, signed our Hotch’s birth certificate?”

The SUV is painfully silent. Emily gives the only reaction, she turns right to Dave. “His dad?” Hotch’s dad has been dead for as long as she’s known him – at twenty-something, scrawny and weighed down by the gun on his hip playing security around her mother’s house. She doesn’t even know that man. “So we’re going to his house?”

“Oh,” Garcia says, “my sweet raven-haired beauty you’re going to his childhood home. Where he grew up, where our Hotch started.” There is only such a tiny, itty-bitty little piece of her that is jealous. The rest is as scared as they are. 

JJ clears her throat but says nothing, just stares hard at her hands. “I grew up a few miles from here. On the other side of those woods.” Hotch hadn’t lied. Of course, he wouldn’t, she shakes the thought away. Hotch is an enigma, a thousand-piece puzzle missing pieces but never the same pieces. Each time you open the box it’s a different piece that’s missing. Making it impossible to complete the damn thing. 

“Can I–” Reid gets to the front steps and feels like he’s going to throw up. “Can I stay out here?” He’s not cut out for this job, not entirely. He’s a genius, they need him, but this part he’s no good at. That’s why he stays in the rooms with the maps. He spends all day doing math and creating a geographical profile. He’d be more use, even now, to sit out here and mess with his maps. Not in there. Not when they all know… No one says anything, they wouldn’t dare, but they have a good idea about the severity of what happened to Hotch in that house. 

Derek and Dave speak over one another – of course andno, we need you inside. 

Derek wins. “You have your map on you?”

Reid nods, face flushed. He doesn’t want to go inside and he doesn’t want Dave and Derek fighting about it either. He reaches a trembling hand behind him and pulls it out. “Yeah.”

Derek nods, “figure those woods for me? We gotta see how far he could have gone.”

“Okay.”

It’s probably better Reid didn’t come in, anyway, but at least JJ would have had some more company. She steps back because she knows Hotch very well but not like Derek, Dave, or Emily. He’s trusted the three of them with much more than he’s ever given her. So she just stands there in the doorway, horror gripping her chest tight and painful, as a cold chill runs up her spine. 

The worst part is that it almost looks like a normal house. 

She can imagine Hotch kicking his shoes off at the door, a habit he’s carried into adulthood. Kicking a ball around the front yard and riding his bike in the driveway. Children have lived here and that’s… that’s horrifying. 

“Can’t imagine anyone living here,” Dave mumbles, shaking his head as he steps to the foot of the stairs. The banister has been nearly ripped from the walls at the top and Dave moves his eyes away. The chill of this house, not just this room, makes the skin on his arms ache with shivers. No love has ever seen the inside of these walls. 

Emily steps behind him and looks up the stairs. “I don’t want to go up there,” she confesses, shaking her head at the sight above. She can’t imagine what they’ll find. What would her childhood home reveal about the interworkings of her mind? It certainly wouldn’t be fair. She’s torn, gripped by relief that it’s Hotch and not her being psychoanalyzed and still horrified they have to do this at all. To find Abel. To save Hotch. 

“God this is–” JJ covers her hand with her mouth, standing in shock in the doorway of the room Derek takes them to. He’d only been in the house once, the year their mother died. He was Sean’s friend but he came down with Aaron as a helping hand. The three of them trying to get as much crap out as possible. They never went inside Aaron’s room. He did, he stepped in there once. Came back out pale as a ghost, blamed it on the heat, and spent an hour outside on the porch with a cold rag and a bucket to throw up in. His grip was too weak after that, he was shaking too hard to stand strong. So he took over folding up his mother’s clothes for donation. Derek never bothered to ask what really spooked him that bad. 

It’s… a normal room. Ramsaked by time and likely Abel but bland. 

He’s always been a little boring, God love him.

Derek steps into the room, frowning at the heavy dust clinging to everything. There’s a plain blue rug on the middle of the floor, about the only color or decoration in the room. Sean’s room had posters, Aaron’s walls are flat, no tacks were ever poked in the walls. 

“Guess he’s always liked blue,” Emily mumbles, hesitantly looking around. Together, Derek and Emily say, “same color as his comforter at home.” They both immediately turn to each other, frowning in tight disgust at the train of thought they both assume. Derek knows Emily spent a lot of time with Hotch while he was recovering. He’d seen them sleeping together in Hotch’s bed many times. Just as Emily knows Derek returned Hotch home many times sore and limping from “runs”. They had both assumed the other was fucking the boss. They weren’t going to say anything, to him or each other. It was keeping Hotch alive, that was all they wanted. 

They’re both wrong but neither clarifies. 

Emily touches the furthest wall from the door and runs her finger over raised marks scratched into the wall. Tally marks. Endless tally marks. He was keeping track of something, she wants to know what. 

“I hate you,” Dave reads out, stepping back to allow the others to see what he’s found. The words aren’t scratched, they’re engraved. Each one is meant. “Who do you think that’s to?” It’s entirely rhetorical and Emily hates him just a little bit for asking. 

Derek pulls out his flashlight, eager to turn his attention elsewhere. Something about being in this room, thinking about Hotch like this is making him nauseous. And it only gets worse as he looks into Hotch’s closet. There’s nearly nothing inside, one moth-eaten black t-shirt barely hanging onto its hanger and a blanket folded up in the upper corner. Which makes sense. Sean told him Hotch packed for college in one night, was gone without saying goodbye. But it’s what he finds in the dark corner that makes him feel even sicker. “Here,” he calls out, stepping aside so Dave can see where he’s aimed his flashlight. 

There’s a rusted razor stuck to the ground, Derek can’t move his eyes from it. It’s stuck to the floor, by a hardened, immobile substance. It’s not hard to guess which substance. Blood, Derek clears his throat, swallowing around the way his body attempts to rebel and heave his meager breakfast up. There’s gauze, what once was, at least. A toppled-over first-aid kid tossed beside it. Clearly knocked over. Never picked back up. 

Emily just stares at it. Not a thought in her head. Just blank. 

Dave grunts and turns away from it. Is it really that surprising? Aaron is a complicated man. Poor attachment style and while self-harm might not be on the table in any traditional sense nowadays, he lived out of an unpacked boxed and slept on a couch for over a year after his divorce. He’s carried these tendencies with him. They reared their ugly heads not that long ago.

Something about the way Derek just keeps staring at it that enrages Emily. It’s not surprising. She wants him to stop treating it like it is. As if this is news to them, like any of this is going to change how they view Hotch. They know he was abused and maybe self-harm is a little predictable but it’s not startling. Hotch is dark. This is the man that strips his vest to go into hostage situations. And then she remembers, suddenly, how Derek treated Hotch during everything with Foyet. “You don’t think we’re going to find him,” she says. Derek just doesn’t think he’ll be alive. 

He says as much, “he’s had a hard year.” His flashlight still aimed at the corner. In one year he’s hardly recovered from the damage Foyet did to him. He’s taken, what, one day off in all that time? He’s not stripping his vest off and running into dangerous places like he was but there hasn’t been that much of an improvement. He wouldn’t qualify the situation as resolved. 

“He’ll come back,” Emily seethes. Their eyes meet, Derek’s dulled by sadness and Emily’s bright with new hot anger.

Derek shakes his head, “you don’t know that.” He shrugs, finally looking away from the rusty razor and stepping away. Jack almost wasn’t enough a few months ago. What about now? Who says this isn’t too much? Everyone has their breaking point. “You can’t know that.” 

[x.]

Hotch doesn’t remember falling. 

It was just starting to drizzle. The muffled sounds drew his attention to trace the sounds of the raindrops hitting the leaves of the trees around him. Small drops pitter and patter as fat drops of rain made their way through the maze of leaves above his head. The humidity had grown, thickening until it could be felt seemingly pressing against him. The air like the packed streets of New York, knocking him this way and that until it felt nearly claustrophobic just to breathe.

It hadn’t taken long for the clouds to consume the light, his ability to see slowly being taken. He could hear Abel following him, quick, angry footsteps. Aaron!Follows him around every turn. Agent Hotchner! Cracks through the woods. 

The rain started falling harder, hitting the leaves loudly and drowning out the shouts. Until the drops tore holes through the leaves, hitting too quickly, too heavily to remain captured by the many overlapping branches.

Somewhere, he falls. 

The rain hits his face, enough to encourage him to shut his aching eyes again. Sleep is much safer. And he’s slept so little lately, it’s hard to fight the impulse now. So he doesn’t.

His head hurts so bad, like someone’s palms are on his temples and they’re pressing their whole weight into his skull. Trying to push his head down into the dirt below him. It makes thinking impossible. His body feels disconnected from him, like a foggy extension he doesn’t know how to reach. He’s fairly certain all parts of him can still be accounted for. His left foot throbs – he stepped on something that felt like it snapped when he pressed his weight down. Whatever it is, it’s splintered up into his foot. It aches, and pulses with each pounding beat of his heart. 

And then there’s this business with his side. 

He can’t really remember why or where it would have happened. There are these little holes just torn right into his skin. They’re bleeding like crazy and that doesn’t make thinking or moving any easier. But that’s okay. 

He turns his head, angles his cheek up towards the sky, and lets the rain pelt the side of his head. 

He’s hungry. 

[x.]

His food sits on the table.

Dave ordered him a sub out of reflex and it’s just sitting there. Mockingthem.Insultingthem. 

Derek can’t stop staring at it. 

They found Abel Boseman’s body. His skull was cracked by a rock, he was dead long before they got to him. 

Which means going to that house was basically pointless. All they figured out anyway was that Abel planned to return and Hotch would end up somewhere but not here. It made no sense for him to go back to that house, even as it began to rain. Sean had told Derek once Aaron spent every day of his childhood out there, playing around in the woods. And now Abel is dead and still, no one knows where Hotch is. 

“Do you really think…” Reid stays focused on the board. If he keeps re-angling, keeps crunching numbers then none of this is real. None of this is happening. “Do you really think he did it?” But Abel Boseman’s photo goes up and it’s hard to push what’s happening to the side. “That Hotch…” 

They found blood and Abel Boseman’s body – enough was Hotch’s to not ease their concern about him but too much of it was Abel’s too. There was a struggle. It wasn’t much of a question, Hotch killed Abel. Maybe he didn’t mean to but he did. And that made two men dead by nothing more than Hotch’s hand in less than a year.

Derek rubs at his temples, unable to stifle his frustration. “Obviously, he did.” Reid immediately turns away from the heat in Derek’s gaze, the hatred in his voice.

They found Abel a mile away from where they found Hotch’s badge, gun, and phone dumped. Only ten yards from Hotch’s left shoe – hooked on a log. It was clear Abel had dragged Hotch through the woods on the tarp, the bottom shredded and the blue tarp stained by Hotch’s blood. An altercation occurred. Abel did not survive and Hotch… Well, it’s hard to tell. They have dogs out there, searching. That’s where Derek and Reid should be. Looking. 

But Derek is benched for the time being. 

The Sheriff made a comment as they zipped the body bag containing Abel Boseman. Derek hadn’t even heard the whole thing but he understood the message – Aaron Hotchner is a nobody and no badge could ever make him a somebody. And it made him snap. He’d just spent the day searching through that abandoned house. Thinking about that fucking razor. About Foyet. About Haley and Jack and that it was his badge that started everything. He couldn’t take it. He shouldn’t have been in the field anyway. 

The Sheriff fucked off. 

Derek was sent back to the station. 

“The hounds picked up a scent,” Emily swings into the room, running in to grab more batteries for their flashlights and umbrellas. “They think they’re close. Dave wants everyone out there.” 

[x.]

JJ hates the woods.

She hates the south.

The gravestones where people lay buried with names and dates of birth and death that no one ever seems to know. Once, someone will mumble, once the dates and name could be read. Dragging a finger across the uneven stone will allow that much to become obvious. No one ever knows the people who lay at rest here but standing near, stopping to stare will settle the most discomforting feeling in the pit of your stomach. Whatever the people do here you know, as the hairs on your neck raise and you shiver like there are cold fingers playing your spine like the keys of a piano, no one rests.

The woods are like that too. The eyes that follow you into the trees never blink, they are always watching. 

Ahead of her, stomping through the underbrush with unsettled anger of a man having lost his temper multiple times today, Morgan pays JJ only as much attention as he has to. Enough to shout above the rain when he finds a particularly slick area of mud or to avoid thistles reaching out to snag against the skin. 

Morgan isn’t taking it very well. He stomps and breaks the eerie calm of the woods with each foot he puts down – breaking twigs or rustling plants. 

The people JJ had expected a riot out of took the news without blinking. Dave had nodded gravely with understanding, getting this glint in his eyes that read plainly he knew their likelihood of catching this unsub and finding Hotch alive seemed grim. Emily had taken a deep breath in and just shook her head, declared it bound to happen with a dismissive shrug. “It’s better that it’s him,” Emily promised her. “He knows the woods and… and he’s tough. He’ll come back.” But she was already considering how long it would take before their resources were cut. Before Strauss called and declared they would have to come home. Irrational but valid. What if Abel cracked his skull too? What if they never even find his body out there?

They’ve never left anyone behind before. 

“Morgan?”

JJ comes up over a bit of a hill, mostly just rocks and roots twisted and covered in leaves. She’d been following Morgan, he’d slowed his place to allow her to get a little closer. But he was right here. 

“Derek!”

Someone screams. The sound erupts from the ground, from through the trees or from under her feet. From behind her, she thinks but she can’t find a source. She can’t reason where it could have originated. Softer this time, her courage to scream into the darkness stolen from her throat. “Derek?” It’s raining, the water soaking through her hair and down into her eyes. She’s drenched. Lost. Laughter bursts out of her chest, tumbling up out of her chest in thick, tense bursts. Wherever Hotch is, chances are she’s going to end up in the same place. So at least there’s that, right? Maybe he’s alive but it’s unlikely he’ll be as happy to see her as she will be to see him. 

“JJ?”

She turns around, whips around so fast the world is just a pitch of orange blur. Nothing. There’s no one. Just fire and mud.Her fingers stiffly curling over her radio but she’s not certain she’s actually turned the thing on. “This is – This is Jennifer J–” her radio isn’t working. The static doesn’t sound out. Depressing the button does nothing. 

“Jennifer?”

She turns around, eyes searching along the trees to find absolutely nothing. Decaying leaves. Fallen tree branches. “Hotch.” He’s leaning against the trunk of one of the larger trees, holding himself up with the tight grip his fingers have on the dark bark. He’s soaked clean through, hair flat against his forehead, and clothes clinging to his skin. “You’re–” she steps towards him, eyes finally catching the smaller details of his stature. Rain isn’t what’s soaking his clothing through. “Oh my God.”

“Are you real?” he rasps.

There’s blood down the side of his face, coming from behind his ear somewhere. Or maybe out of his ear… 

JJ nods, “Yeah. Yeah,  of course.”

He squints, adamant. It’s hard to know what’s real and what’s not. “Can you…” he starts to tip forward and he hears the crunch of her footstep, the step she tries to make towards him. He stumbles back, hitting a tree hard. “No! No! Stop, stop, please.” He holds up a hand, holding her back. “Please,” he repeats. He holds his hand up as he breathes, focusing so hard on pulling air into his lungs. He has to think about it. Otherwise, he’ll forget to. “Can you…” he’s not even sure how to say what he means. “I don’t know what’s real.”

JJ just wanted to help him. He’d started to fall and he doesn’t look like he can really handle falling again. “Okay, okay, I can prove I’m real.” She smiles, “I know… Uhm, I know you like oatmeal raisin cookies? And – And blueberry muffins. You take your coffee black but only when someone else makes it for you. If you make it for yourself you like two creams and a sugar.” She’s not sure that’s enough but it’s what she thinks of first. 

He nods, face pinching up as starts to cry. Tears fall down his face. “Yeah,” he whispers. “Yeah.” He tries to stay standing up, “thank, God. I’m gonna – I think I’m gonna–"

JJ watches his eyes roll back, his entire body going limp as he falls to the side. “Hotch!”

Fuck everything about CM for never allowing us to see Hotch thank Garcia for finding him in the hospital