My Incorrect Universe #85

*At a Bar*

*Bartender watching Loki, Bucky and Stephen taking turns and using really bad pick up lines on me as I scoff at every one of them*

Bartender *to me*: are these men bothering you?

Me *sighing*: yes, yes they are. But they’re my husbands so i pretty much signed up for this.

–later–

Bucky *leaning on the counter ready with the 30th pick up line of the night as the other two lean behind him*: Hey are you an Avenger?Because I think we should assemble. Our place, tomorrow maybe?

Me *placing my gun on the counter without even glancing at them*: 10…….

Loki: Ten pm? Oh darling that’s really kin-

Strange: How about all nigh-

Me: 9……

Winterstrangefrost : OH FUCK I’M SORRY-

Me: *cocks gun*

Winterstrangefrost: *Runs through a portal Stephen created while screaming*

My Incorrect Universe #83

Thor: you look tired, brother….. why didn’t you get any sleep?

Loki, looking off into the distance: there’s no rest for the wicked and ambitious…..

Stephen, sipping coffee in the sidelines: he was actually up all night watching over our wife while she’s sleeping just to make sure she was safe considering she injured herself last misson

Me: seriously!? babe it’s literally a small bruise.

Loki,being backed up by Bucky: YOU MAY DIE

Tony: *sighs*

–later that night–

Me:……..

Me: boys I can’t sleep if you keep looking at me like that……

*que camera on* Loki and Bucky, standing menacingly in the darkest corner of the room with knives : tHeRe iS nO rEsT fOr tHe wIcKeD

*meanwhile*

Stephen, laughing evilly as he places spells on my room from outside: if anyone even tries to enter with I’ll intensions towards my wife they will burst into flames *cackles dramatically*

Rohdey who came out to drink water, staring at him horrified:…….

Rohdey ,silently praying for me: may lord help the woman