My Incorrect Universe #87

(Birthday Special because it’s my 18th Birthday)

*At the Avengers HQ*

*Everyone making plans for my surprise birthday party*

Me, opening the front door: i’m home!

Stephen: Quick, start a normal conversation !

Everyone:…….

Loki, to Bucky : and then I let Thanos snap my neck-

Thor:*cries*

Clint: *climbs into the vents*

Sam: *starts watering the pavement*

Tony: J.A.R.V.I.S play a song -

Jarvis: *plays country road *

Peter,Scott and Morgan: *screaming* COUNTRY ROAAAADDDD TAKE ME HOOOOMMEEEE-

Mobius: I’m taking the fish for a walk *runs away*

Me: we don’t have a fish….. WAIT FISH DON’T-

Natasha, Steve, Bruce and Wanda: *sigh*

*at Middle Earth*

Me: ugh I hate birthdays! why is it even made such a big deal. I didn’t even expect to live past 15 i sm just going to go sleep all day. why do you want to celebrate getting closer to death-

Legolas and Haldir: we picked you your favorite flower

Elrond and Lindir: we brought you your favorite books from Rivendell

Bilbo: i brought you cake and your favorite food on behalf of the hobbits

Thorin: i had my people craft you a necklace as a token of my appreciation…

Thranduil *kicking Thorin out of his way*: my love! it is time for your birthday hugs and kisses-

Bard: do you not give her that everyd-

Thranduil: THIS IS DIFFERENT! WE SHALL BE SPENDING THE ENTIRE DAY TOGETHER AND I SHALL BE SPOILING YOU THE WHOLE DAY AS YOUR HUSBAND!

Legolas: ADA DO NOT STEAL HER! I HAVE PLANS TOO!

Thorin: I DID NOT DESERVE TO BE KICKED

*que chaos and hands being thrown*

Me*Thranduil engulfing me completely in his embrace as I stand in stunned silence*:….. it’s my birthday for a whole month on Earth-

*at 221 B*

Me:………

John:……….

Mycroft:……….

Moriarty:………..

Sherlock:………

Me:……… what is this James?

Moriarty *excited*: it’s your gift!

John: it’s a severed hand……

Mycroft: of the person who looked at Sherlock’s girlfriend the wrong way…..

Moriarty: anything for my favorite nemesis’ girlfriend!

Me: you didn’t have to do this, i would have….. appreciated a watch or someth-

Sherlock: i personally love the sentiment you are the best enemy ever

John *flipping the table*: SHERLOCK IT’S A SEVERED HAND-

Avengers:

Me in middle earth on the idea of celebrating birthdays:

John:

My Incorrect Universe #85

*At a Bar*

*Bartender watching Loki, Bucky and Stephen taking turns and using really bad pick up lines on me as I scoff at every one of them*

Bartender *to me*: are these men bothering you?

Me *sighing*: yes, yes they are. But they’re my husbands so i pretty much signed up for this.

–later–

Bucky *leaning on the counter ready with the 30th pick up line of the night as the other two lean behind him*: Hey are you an Avenger?Because I think we should assemble. Our place, tomorrow maybe?

Me *placing my gun on the counter without even glancing at them*: 10…….

Loki: Ten pm? Oh darling that’s really kin-

Strange: How about all nigh-

Me: 9……

Winterstrangefrost : OH FUCK I’M SORRY-

Me: *cocks gun*

Winterstrangefrost: *Runs through a portal Stephen created while screaming*

My Incorrect Universe #83

Thor: you look tired, brother….. why didn’t you get any sleep?

Loki, looking off into the distance: there’s no rest for the wicked and ambitious…..

Stephen, sipping coffee in the sidelines: he was actually up all night watching over our wife while she’s sleeping just to make sure she was safe considering she injured herself last misson

Me: seriously!? babe it’s literally a small bruise.

Loki,being backed up by Bucky: YOU MAY DIE

Tony: *sighs*

–later that night–

Me:……..

Me: boys I can’t sleep if you keep looking at me like that……

*que camera on* Loki and Bucky, standing menacingly in the darkest corner of the room with knives : tHeRe iS nO rEsT fOr tHe wIcKeD

*meanwhile*

Stephen, laughing evilly as he places spells on my room from outside: if anyone even tries to enter with I’ll intensions towards my wife they will burst into flames *cackles dramatically*

Rohdey who came out to drink water, staring at him horrified:…….

Rohdey ,silently praying for me: may lord help the woman