#incorrectmarvelquotes
Tony: A lot of things changed after I got that girl pregnant
Peter: Like what?
Tony: My name, my address, my-
Peter: Hey Harley?
Harley: [from the other room]Yeah?
Peter: Where’s my moisturiser?
Harley: On my feet
Peter:[running] You bastard!
Tony: You said that you were interesting
Tony: But you’re just always in bed
Peter: I said I was into resting
Peter: But how did the guy drown?
Tony: He couldn’t breathe underwater kid, keep up
Peter: Can you bring me my water bottle?
Harley: I’m not walking all the way over there
Peter: It’s only like a 2 hour drive
Harley:
Peter: Or a two minute canoe ride
Tony: Guys it’s like 10 feet why are you like this
Tony:- and kid, you’re from Queens right? I can swing by and pick you up
Peter: Okay first of all, May lives in Queens, I live in the moment
[knock at door]
Pepper: Come in, James
Rhodey: How did you know it was me?
Pepper: The restrained knock, Tony plays that door like it’s a marimba
Peter: Mr Stark we think you’re depressed
Tony: Both of you?
Harley:Yes
Tony: Well for the two of you to agree on something I must be damn near suicidal
Tony: Why are you all standing on chairs?
Harley: We’re playing a game
Peter: Yeah it’s called “Harley lost the damn spider”
Tony: [jumps up on a chair]
Tony: I told you not to go patrolling in the rain
Peter: [soaking wet] How else am I gonna get struck by lightning?
“I’m sorry but there’s no way that I have a cat brothel going on in my room and I’m still the only normal one in this compound” - Peter Parker
Tony: Anything is funny if you put an old man in it
Peter: Except for the ground
Peter: Fuck you, Keener
Harley: Fuck me yourself, you coward
Peter: It’s like clearing a video game on easy
Tony: Okay combat is NOT like a video game
Clint, in the background: Hey look! Coins!
Steve: I’m dating Bucky
Sam: I mean I knew your standards were low but not that low
Peter: Eat shit, Keener
Harley: I would, but I recently went vegan
Tony: How is your project going? The one where you had to interview Morgan?
Peter: Well the first thing she told me was that ‘Daddy pooped on the shed’
Tony:Great
Peter: [checking his notes] And that your bum was shaped like a triangle
Tony:
Tony: I mean whatever about pooping on the shed but I can’t have her going around telling people I have a bum shaped like a triangle I have a reputation to maintain
Tony: [telling a story]
Peter: But what happened to the guy?
Tony: He died
Harley: Ah he was DC to JC
Tony:What?
Peter:[sigh] He was Discharged to Jesus Christ
Harley: [driving]
Tony: I think we hit something
Harley: I hope it’s Peter
Peter [in the backseat]:
Doctor Cho: How many units of alcohol do you drink a week?
Tony: One
Doctor Cho: That’s it? One drink?
Tony: One shelf
