Wanda: *Feeling sad*

Y/N: *Trying to cheer Wanda up* I brought you some food!

Y/N: Cheese. It’s milk that you chew.

Y/N: Crackers. Because your cheese needs a buddy.

Y/N:A grape. Because who can get a watermelon in your mouth.

Wanda: *Starts to smile and giggles* Thank you.

Y/N: Pfft, don’t thank me.

Wanda: Can you sit with me?

Y/N: *Literally melting from Wanda’s cuteness* Yes!*Clears throat* I mean yes, I would love to.

Wanda: *Cuddles up to Y/N*

Y/N: *Screaming internally while smiling trying not to wake up Wanda*

Tony: Does anyone have an inspirational quote?

Y/N: Bagels and donuts. Round food for every mood!

Tony: *Sighs disappointed* I’m too sober for this.

Natasha, calling Y/N: *Hears Y/N answer the phone* Hey! H-

Y/N: Can I call you back? I’m walking my grandpa through hacking the city’s transportation grid.

Natasha: Yeah, sur- WAIT WHAT!?

Y/N: Great! I’ll call you later. Love you! *Hangs up*

Natasha: *Hears an explosion in the distance* I don’tthink it’s going well.

Y/N: There is not enough salt in the world to protect us from the hell you’re trying to unleash.

Wade: Oh Don’t be such a worrywart. The demon and I go way back!

Y/N, to Loki:Hey.

Loki:He-*Screams*

Y/N: Why are you screaming!?

Loki: Why are you in my shower!?

Y/N: Well looks like we both have questions we don’t have answers to.

Y/N: Hey everyone, look! I made paper!

Natasha: How’d you make paper?

Y/N: I saw this “how to make homemade paper” tutorial on youtube and decided I wanted to try to make paper too, and here it is! *Shows everyone the paper they made*

Steve: Wow, that’s awesome, Y/N.

Wanda: Yeah, I like the colors! Can you show me how to make it?

Y/N:Sure-

Tony: Hey, has anyone seen my important mission reports?

Y/N: Uh… No?

Clint: Y/N, how did you make those?

Y/N: Um, I blended paper, that I found laying around, with water…

Tony: May I ask where you got the paper?

Y/N: I may or may not have gotten them from the break room…

Tony:…

Tony: Well I’m not explaining it to Fury.

Hydra agent #1: *Points weapon at Y/N and Bucky* What is your purpose in this base?

Hydra agent #2: Yeah. And no lies.

Y/N: Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships.

Y/N: Pick up the rest of the Avengers in Switzerland, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out.

Hydra agent #2: I said no lies!

Y/N and Bucky: *Looks at each other and rolls their eyes*

Y/N, to Bucky: You take idiot number one and I’ll take idiot number two.

Bucky: You got it.

*A few moments later*

Y/N: Well that was easy.

Bucky: Yeah, tell me about it.

Y/N: Say, why don’t we go get some pizza before we go pick up the others?

Bucky: Alright! But you’re paying this time.

Y/N: Aw, come on! I paid last time.

Bucky: No, you didn’t. You drove us to get pizza then you “accidentally” left your wallet in the truck, went to go get it and didn’t come back in until I paid.

Y/N: Pfft! I- thought I left it in the truck! *Mumbles* it just so happens I had it in my jacket the whole time…

Bucky: Ya know I have super hearing right?

Y/N:…

Y/N: *Starts running* Last one to the ship pays for pizza!!

Bucky: Dang it! *Starts running behind Y/N*

Steve, to Bucky: Ok, so you have a few options.

Steve: This one *points to Wanda* is adorable, knows how to cook and has awesome powers.

Steve: This one *points to Natasha* can fight really good, has a nice smile and a sweet personality.

Steve: This one *points to Maria* has amazing fighting skills, has bright eyes, makes amazing muffins and can salsa.

Steve: This one *points to Y/N* uh, is clumsy, likes disney, cake and is kinda broken. Yeah, maybe not that one-

Bucky: I want that one.

Steve: Wh- But what about the others?

Bucky: No. I want that one *points to Y/N*

Steve: But the others-

Bucky: I. Want. That. One.

Y/N: *Awkwardly waves*

Bucky: Yup, that’s the one. It’s mine now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, STEVE!!

Fanfiction tropes as Hogwarts houses.

(Or alternatively, which hogwarts house is likely to be involved in said tropes.)

Gryffindor: rivals to friends to lovers, there was only one bed, accidentally locked themselves in a confined space (absolutely the kind of dumbassery you would expect from a gryff), idiots in love, truth and dare, OBLIVIOUSNESS, coming of age.

Hufflepuff: friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, coffee shop au, FLUFF, song fics, childhood best friends, neighbors, mutual pining, accidental confession (lmfao), hot cold dynamics, soulmate au.

Ravenclaw: office romance, METAPHORS, book shop au (obviously), bonding over common interests, letter/email fics, soft nerds, project partners, DARK ACADEMIA, domestic as hell, “and they were roommates”.

Slytherin: enemies to friends to lovers (duh), Fake dating, arranged marriage, partners in crime, immortal lovers, vampire/veela/supernatural elements, Never have I ever, ANGST, secret pining, “make me.” ‘nuff said.

It kinda makes sense in a weirdly specific way if you think about it.

Tony: being gay isn’t a choice

Tony: [grabbing Stephen’s hand] it’s a game and I’m winning

Steve: what do we say when our actions disappointed someone?

Bucky: hoes mad

Steve: get out

Stephen: Tony, what’s in that bottle?

Tony:water

Stephen: it looks like wine

Tony: [faking being surprised] damn, Jesus did it again!

[playing twister]

Natasha: Bucky, right hand red

Bucky: [ends up on top of Steve]

Steve: okay you’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?

Natasha: I stopped spinning like 15 turns ago, honestly I’m surprised you didn’t notice sooner

Steve: what are you doing?

Bucky: offering moral support

Steve: you have morals?

Bucky: no, but I support those who do

Tony: [hugs Stephen from behind] I love you

Tony: [whispers into Stephen’s ear] but if you ever drink my coffee again, I will destroy you

Steve: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Bucky: you said to satanize the house

Steve: I SAID SANITIZE

Stephen: [falling asleep]

Tony, whispering:Stephen…

Stephen: [sighs] what do you want?

Tony: why would the Hamburglar steal burgers and not hams?

Stephen: [eyes wide open] fuck

Steve: I asked Buck to share his queen sized blanket

Steve: to which he replied that he was a queen and therefore the blanket was already at max capacity

Tony, exasperated:Pete. Why are you like this?

Peter: Uh… genetics, mostly.

Tony:…

Peter: And maybe an energy drink.