Part of the anniversary drabbles! Author: Admin E Warning: Smut Word Count: 1.5k
The brick wall he pushed you against felt cold against your back despite his leather jacket hugging your shoulders loosely. It didn’t bother you though, in fact, it felt nice to get some relief from the burning heat surging through your veins as he dragged his thick, plump lips over your skin. The wall only cooled you off a tiny bit, not nearly enough to extinguish the fire burning you alive when his fingers around your hips tightened and he rolled his lower body into yours. An involuntary whimper escaped your lips before you knew it, your mind so foggy and clouded it was hard to remind yourself of where you were.
‘Jimin…’, you managed to sigh out, your arms locked around his neck as he still laved yours with his tongue, the wet muscle dancing up and down the sensitive spot beneath your ear. You felt you throat getting dry, making you repeatedly lick your lips to moisten them before you made another attempt at speaking.
‘We shouldn’t be doing this here…’, you gasped when his teeth dug into your flesh, shooting an electric shock straight to your core.
He finally pulled away so you could look at him. You were panting frantically, it took alot of energy to fight the urge to just let him take you right then and there.
He looked incredibly sinful, his lips shining wet from exploring your skin with his tongue, eyes halflidded with lust, the red neon light of the nightclub sign contouring his hair and facial features to make him look like a demon in the night. He smirked as he traced your bottom lip with his thumb.
‘You wanna get out of here then?’, his voice laced with seduction and husky from arousal.
You nodded fiercely, grabbing him by his collar and yanking him back to crash your mouth on his one more time, just to satisfy the need for his addictive lips for a moment. He fished his phone out of his backpocket before gathering the strength to separate his lips from yours.
‘I’m calling a cab. My place or yours?’, he asked while hastily calling the number of the taxi company, clearly growing more impatient with every passing second of not devouring or being devoured.
‘Don’t care, just hurry!’, you whined, shoving down the neck of his tank top to helplessly nibble and suck at his collarbones, earning you a deep groan from him as he anxiously waited for the torturous dial tone to stop and someone to pick up. He sighed in relief when he finally heard a voice on the other side of the line.
You spent the following 10 minutes, what felt like hours, waiting for the cab and trying not to tear eachother’s clothes off until the car stopped in front of the club.
You practically jumped inside, rambling off your address to the driver and getting back to eating eachother’s faces on the backseat, ignoring the judging looks the older driver threw you in the front mirror of the car. Fortunately, your place was fairly close and you arrived at your appartment 15 minutes later.
‘Thank you sir!’, you quickly threw some bills on the front seat while already in the process of climbing out of the back. ‘Keep the change!’
‘But miss, this is 10 bucks too many!’, the driver muttered in confusion.
‘Don’t worry about it!’, you yelled in your haste to leave just before you closed the door and pulled Jimin along towards your front door. You pulled out your keys and struggled to find the right one right away, the excitement making your hands tremble and your fingers clumsy.
He slammed your body against the wood, his hands groping your ass and you were afraid you weren’t even going to make it inside when he started attacking your neck again, clearly his favourite spot to take his frustrations out on.
‘You didn’t have to pay for the cab, you know, i could’ve-‘
‘Park Jimin, shut the fuck up and get inside before i’ll ride you into my front step right now.’, you growled dangerously when the right key finally turned around in the lock and you managed to open your door, accompanied by Jimin’s delighted chuckle.
What happened after that was a blur of stumbling, tugging on clothes, slamming into walls, entwined limbs, colliding teeth, messy kisses and surprised moans until you finally gave up and settled for the carpet on the floor in the living room.
‘Fuck how can anyone be this hot?’, Jimin groaned as he practically ripped your dress, too impatient to deal with the zipper properly, ‘Why is it that i just need to fuck you senseless every time i see you?’
You were too busy desperately working on his belt and unzipping his jeans to answer, this was all taking way too long for your liking. You finally managed to pull his pants down, along with his boxers, revealing his rock hard erection as it slapped against his stomach immediately. It made your mouth water, the heat burning between your legs turning into a bonfire as if someone threw in a bottle of white spirit.
‘Jimin, fuck me!’, you yowled, your panties soaked and ruined by now. They were already good for the trash before the cab even came, but you honestly couldn’t take it anymore. You dramatically rubbed your thighs together to get some friction while Jimin still struggled to get your dress off.
‘Fuck!’, he muttered in frustration, the tugs on your zipper getting shorter, agressive and full of resentment for the small, metal thing.
You looked longingly at his hot red, hard cock, leaking precum and begging to be touched, so you decided you couldn’t wait anymore.
You lunged forward on your knees, your hands wrapping themselves around his shaft before you took the tip into your mouth. Jimin gasped in surprise, his eyes wide and his hands stilling around your zipper. You gradually took more of him inside your mouth until his tip hit the back of your throat, making his eyes roll back in his head.
‘You’re not helping!’, he moaned half frustrated, half enjoying. He squeezed his eyes shut as your tongue massaged his length, hollowing out your cheeks and sucking hard each time you went up, only to clench your throat around him when you reached down until your lips touched his base.
His hands fell limp against his sides as he gave up trying to unzip the damn dress before they tangled themselves in your hair. He threw his head back in bliss, finally giving in to the amazing pleasure of your lips girdling around his length, the various pressure of your skillful tongue sending him into nirvana.
His lewd noises and adorable whimpers got your arousal trickling down your thighs, your core aching for release as every sound he made shot through your eardrums and straight to the pit of your stomach. You couldn’t help but slide your hand down your panties, helplessly trying to relieve some of the tension building between your thighs.
You rubbed your clit vigorously, a happy moan sending vibrations through his shaft and making him shudder, until he noticed what you were doing.
‘Are you…Touching yourself?’, he rasped, the pupils in his eyes dilating until only a small outer circle of his iris was visible.
‘Mhm.’, you confirmed, mouth stuffed with dick as you were ready to take him all the way down to your throat again if you weren’t suddenly pushed down flat on your back.
‘J-Jimin?‘
‘Shh. Fuck that stupid dress, keep it on.’, he growled lowly while he shoved the fabric up around your waist and literally ripped your already ruined panties apart. ‘This will do just fine.’
He threw your legs over his shoulders, diving head first inbetween them and wasting no time licking up your juices like you were a melting popsickle, the slurping wet noises flushing your cheeks in embarrassment. His tongue darted out to find your small nub, sucking on it, gently nibbling until he had you a moaning mess underneath him, and it’s only been 10 seconds.
‘As much as i love to eat you out, i’m at my limit here.’, he groaned before crawling on top of you, his hand pumping his length a few times before guiding himself inside you.
You both moaned long and relieved, eyes rolling and mouths gaping when he filled you up to the brim.
‘Fuck…’, a shaky sigh rolling out of his mouth as he let himself get sheathed inside your hot, tight heat.
‘-ing finally.’, you added in a matching sigh, your eyes fluttering closed to savor the feeling of just being full.
‘Oh baby, we’ve only just begun.’, he smirked as he punctuated the end of his sentence with the beginning of a series of thrusts, the first roll of his hips into yours making electricity surge through your core. ‘And i’m not gonna let that dress stop me again.’
sum ᝰ park jimin looked at you like you held all the answers to the universe, playing it off as an endearing act of his, you don’t think much of it. until his sweet smiles and loving personality makes your stomach flutter and your heart skip a beat. but you’re his boss — the person who helped him escape his past and horrid boss, there was no way you could ever admit your feelings for him, even if he does say it first.
pairing ᝰ assistant!jimin x ceo!yn (slightly plus size but not much detail)
genre ᝰ fluff, angst, romance, smut, s2f2l.
word count ᝰ13.1k
warnings ᝰ curse words, strong mentions of physical abuse, yn is kinda mean, anxiety, depression, mentions of a stutter, mentions of a lost loved one, therapy, smut, blowjob, yn is so dumb, mentions of weight. i do say a size but it’s just for the story, imagine it as you’d like.
an ᝰ can we please ignore how bad i am at making banners AND choosing fic titles. but i was listening to say it first by sam smith and it just stuck but yay, i loved this idea and it’s not the most heart wrenching or deepest fic, but i thought it was sweet! thank you for reading! reblog, comment and do all that jazz if you liked it! wishing you all the best! :) <3
The first time you had ever met Park Jimin, he was trudging behind Baekhyun, a business partner of yours. His hair was slightly frazzled, to which Baekhyun sent him a harsh glare for. It was no secret the partner of yours was harsh, it’s how he got to be so successful, it still didn’t seem right to instill fear in your workers. But alas, you ignored it as Jimin pat his hair down, placing a few Manila folders across from you, his boss, and the other two individuals in the room.
The meeting went smoothly. Baekhyun presented his own numbers for your business’ integration for a section in your magazine and website. The other two were board members in charge of seeing it through, the ones to pick up messes and nitpick before the company blew up. Jimin rushed about the room at Baekhyun’s every command. It didn’t go unnoticed by any of you just how terrified Jimin was, eyes narrowing as his hands shook when handing the man a paper, which he yanked from his hold every time.
The meeting concluded and you bid the two goodbye, not having much time to look into the assistant and his boss.
The next meeting didn’t go as smoothly. Baekhyun’s proposals weren’t lining up, neither the numbers, story, or projector. It was a complete mess and the boss blamed his meek assistant who wore big round glasses. He cursed at the guy in the hallway, holding onto Jimin rather harshly.
Now, you weren’t a meek person. You couldn’t be meek when running a multi-million company, it simply wouldn’t work. It’s why you questioned every word that came from Baekhyun’s mouth, it’s why his angry look didn’t deter you from your clear path to success, it’s why you walked out of the conference room, ushering Baekhyun to continue with the meeting or you were officially through with him.
You ended the meeting, taking notice of how tense and tired your workers were. It frustrated Baekhyun who wanted to get the deal over with. “Don’t rush me.” Is all you had said as you walked out of the room, carrying your own folders.
The next meeting, Jimin wasn’t there. You had asked Baekhyun and he dismissed you by saying he had a cold. It didn’t sit right with you. The meeting went a lot smoother, and despite the protest from your board members, you continued going slow with the collaboration. Something just hadn’t sat right with you, even more with the past meeting and how badly he was messing up. You needed nothing but perfection and you didn’t seem to be getting it.
sum ᝰ park jimin looked at you like you held all the answers to the universe, playing it off as an endearing act of his, you don’t think much of it. until his sweet smiles and loving personality makes your stomach flutter and your heart skip a beat. but you’re his boss — the person who helped him escape his past and horrid boss, there was no way you could ever admit your feelings for him, even if he does say it first.
pairing ᝰ assistant!jimin x ceo!yn (slightly plus size but not much detail)
genre ᝰ fluff, angst, romance, smut, s2f2l.
word count ᝰ13.1k
warnings ᝰ curse words, strong mentions of physical abuse, yn is kinda mean, anxiety, depression, mentions of a stutter, mentions of a lost loved one, therapy, smut, blowjob, yn is so dumb, mentions of weight. i do say a size but it’s just for the story, imagine it as you’d like.
an ᝰ can we please ignore how bad i am at making banners AND choosing fic titles. but i was listening to say it first by sam smith and it just stuck but yay, i loved this idea and it’s not the most heart wrenching or deepest fic, but i thought it was sweet! thank you for reading! reblog, comment and do all that jazz if you liked it! wishing you all the best! :) <3
The first time you had ever met Park Jimin, he was trudging behind Baekhyun, a business partner of yours. His hair was slightly frazzled, to which Baekhyun sent him a harsh glare for. It was no secret the partner of yours was harsh, it’s how he got to be so successful, it still didn’t seem right to instill fear in your workers. But alas, you ignored it as Jimin pat his hair down, placing a few Manila folders across from you, his boss, and the other two individuals in the room.
The meeting went smoothly. Baekhyun presented his own numbers for your business’ integration for a section in your magazine and website. The other two were board members in charge of seeing it through, the ones to pick up messes and nitpick before the company blew up. Jimin rushed about the room at Baekhyun’s every command. It didn’t go unnoticed by any of you just how terrified Jimin was, eyes narrowing as his hands shook when handing the man a paper, which he yanked from his hold every time.
The meeting concluded and you bid the two goodbye, not having much time to look into the assistant and his boss.
The next meeting didn’t go as smoothly. Baekhyun’s proposals weren’t lining up, neither the numbers, story, or projector. It was a complete mess and the boss blamed his meek assistant who wore big round glasses. He cursed at the guy in the hallway, holding onto Jimin rather harshly.
Now, you weren’t a meek person. You couldn’t be meek when running a multi-million company, it simply wouldn’t work. It’s why you questioned every word that came from Baekhyun’s mouth, it’s why his angry look didn’t deter you from your clear path to success, it’s why you walked out of the conference room, ushering Baekhyun to continue with the meeting or you were officially through with him.
You ended the meeting, taking notice of how tense and tired your workers were. It frustrated Baekhyun who wanted to get the deal over with. “Don’t rush me.” Is all you had said as you walked out of the room, carrying your own folders.
The next meeting, Jimin wasn’t there. You had asked Baekhyun and he dismissed you by saying he had a cold. It didn’t sit right with you. The meeting went a lot smoother, and despite the protest from your board members, you continued going slow with the collaboration. Something just hadn’t sat right with you, even more with the past meeting and how badly he was messing up. You needed nothing but perfection and you didn’t seem to be getting it.
There were only two more meetings to go and the next, Jimin was back. It was only a week later and the black eye told you he wasn’t gone because of a cold. Whatever fucked up crap Baekhyun dealt with, he released his frustrations against his shy assistant.
You had asked him if he was alright, he responded with a shy smile, unable to look you in the eyes, assuring you he was fine. You couldn’t sit still for the rest of the meeting, watching as Jimin winced every time a single muscle in his face moved. Beckoning the intern watching from the end of the room, you send her off to fetch a bag of ice for the man.
“He really doesn’t need it.” Baekhyun tries as the intern hands the assistant the ice pack.
“Did I ask you?” You shut him down, the man now quiet as you send him one of your harsh looks.
The meeting went fine. The numbers he had messed up before were perfect. Too perfect for someone who was sweating while presenting. But you decide to ignore it for now, shaking his hand as it concludes, telling him of the plans to close the deal at the meeting that’s to come.
You spent the rest of your day in your office, only walking out when you needed to call someone to speak to. It was quite a hassle not having someone to do menial tasks for you but you made it work. Every assistant you had ever had was incompetent and only added much more stress onto your already stressful days.
Your last assistant, who you were very close to, was the last you felt you needed. He was young, but he was smart, graduating from Harvard in journalism and he wanted to rise through the ranks. You took him under your wing, you were harsh but you felt it was needed to get him to succeed and he appreciated it. You were the first person he went to when he found out his girlfriend was pregnant, and you congratulated him, to which he cried. It was a bit awkward but you gave him a small hug, telling him he’d be a good father.
His girlfriend, who you had met over dinner a few times, had asked you to be the godmother to their baby. You were taken aback of course, but she had confided in you that the only motherly figure Jungkook had was you and he spoke highly of you more than anyone he had ever met. You accepted, meeting Yoongi, the godfather, at the baptism recitals. Jungkook was over the moon to have two people he adored to help with his baby girl if anything were to happen. He had taken a three week break when his son was born, only to come back to find his desk empty.
He was terrified he had been fired but you got your intern to show him to his new desk, away from your office and into the space where the other hard hitting journalists sat. The goofy and emotional guy he was, he sprinted up to you, engulfing you in a big hug. A loud yelp came from your mouth as he picked you up off the floor, spinning you. You had reprimanded him after, warning him about boundaries but sent him a comforting pat to his shoulder as you walked off, wishing him the best.
That was almost two years ago. Assistants came and went, some left crying, others left cursing. But you didn’t care, who better to rely on than yourself?
It was when you were leaving your building that the security handed you a package that had been left for you. You thanked him as you walked over to your black, sleek car, ripping the top to grab the papers from inside. Your eyes skimmed across the numbers, the paragraphs detailing the deal you were set to close in a few days. The information led you to rushing back into your office, calling up your legal team and spending a long night conversing and going through the stacks of papers collected.
You burned that bridge with Baekhyun when he showed up to the meeting, cocky and fully ready to sign the deal, Jimin by his side. Your legal team spoke for you as you watched Baekhyun’s face contort from confusion, to anger, then to distress. He begged and pleaded with you to take a chance on him, his company was dying and he had no idea how to save himself.
“I’m not a bank.” You shrugged him off, only enraging him further. He topples over the table, ready to grab you, getting pulled by the security you had called up. You hadn’t even flinched as he was dragged out of the room, cursing and calling you every derogatory term he could scrounge up.
Jimin sat to the side, eyes wide at the scene. You watched him carefully, not catching a single second of doubt though. Just shocked that his previous boss would stoop so low as to hurt you, the most powerful person in the city.
You don’t get up from your seat as your legal team leaves, along with the intern you had been dragging to meetings with you. Instead, you turn in your seat, cocking your head to the side as you watch Jimin wiggle under your stare. “Was it the ice pack?” You ask, making him flinch slightly.
“I-I’m sorry?” He mumbles.
“Raise your voice when speaking to me.” He does as told, looking up at you and straightening his posture. “Did the ice pack fool you into believing I needed help?”
He shakes his head frantically, eyes wide. “N-no! I just… I don’t think I could live with myself if he brought you down with him.”
“So it was all for you? To clear your conscience?” You question. He stays silent, a shaky breath coming from his plump lips as he looks down at the floor in shame. “You can be honest.”
“… Yes.” He answers after a few seconds of silence.
You nod with a soft sigh, rising from your seat. He takes that as his cue to leave as well, rushing to the door. “Do you want to work for me?” Your sudden offer makes him stop in his steps, hand stilling on the handle of the room. “I like that you did it for you. You finally stood up for yourself.”
“I-I can’t work for you.” He shakes his head, refusing to look over at you.
“Why not?” You scoff. “I’ve seen how hard you work. You’re smart, diligent, and resourceful. What else could I want?”
“I think I’m done being an assistant.” He shrugs.
You nod, grabbing a business card from your wallet. Walking over to the guy, your hand touches his as you reach for the handle, opening the door. Pushing your card out to him, you continue to make your way out of the room. “Call me when you decide to work for me.”
He showed up a week later clad in an oversized vest, button up underneath it. He stuttered as he explained how he’d been dwelling over the offer and decided it was best for him.
That was two years ago, and you and Jimin were in the swing of things. He knew your schedule like the back of his hand, he knew your likes and dislikes, your allergies, your diets, your mother, and all that involved your life intertwining with his job. He was a bit slow at first, not used to doing actual tasks like organizing and actively learning to keep up with the business. His entire four years with Baekhyun were spent doing nothing but coffee runs and cleaning up after him. But he seemed to enjoy it.
Sometimes you had to reel back your harsh tone and looks, noticing how often he flinched over you. It wasn’t only you either, it would be anyone who held any authority over him and that made your heartache. You were intense when it came to work but not once had you ever threatened or hurt anyone who works or has worked under you. Baekhyun had done a real number on him and you made sure to go about it carefully.
It wasn’t until the first year into working with you that you admitted you went to therapy. He was shocked at your revelation, not seeing a therapist or any appointments in your shared google calendar. You told him you hadn’t wanted anyone to know, despite how normal your feelings were, you were still a woman running a business amongst men. No one could know you were even slightly “unstable” as a past partner had told you back when. You told him how it helped you come to terms with your fathers death and all the bad choices you made after. You hadn’t gone into much detail but you made sure to tell him that it was possibly the best move you could make and pointed out the free mental healthcare your company provided. Three months later he had admitted he took your advice and began seeing someone — there was a sparkle in his eye as he told you how much better he had been feeling.
Now, you were sauntering into your building, phone in hand with Jungkook trailing after you.
“I’m not lying!” He holds onto the strap of his bag, chasing after your lengthy strides.
“I’m not saying you’re lying. I’m just saying it doesn’t seem possible.” You reiterate.
“Are you saying my daughter isn’t smart?” He scoffs.
“No, I’m saying she’s three and there’s no way she solved world hunger with her babbles.”
“She can, though!”
“I’m sure she can, and when she does, I’ll gladly invest in it, but she barely knows how to say my name.”
Jungkook pouts from beside you, “you don’t believe in my little Hyuna.”
You scoff in turn, “tell that to her college fund.”
“You’re still with that? I’m not letting you pay for her college.”
“Why not? I have more than enough and I adore her. Plus, she’s gonna be a woman in STEM and I want to support her.”
“What if she wants to go into the arts?”
“Then she’ll go into STEAM.” You shrug.
“You’re by far the dumbest CEO I know.”
“Thanks.” You wave him off as you walk into your office, Jimin quickly getting up from his desk and following after you.
“Good morning, ____. Here’s your coffee.”
You wave your hand, clicking your computer on. “No coffee today.”
“Another diet?”
You turn up at him with a small smile, “yeah. My sister’s wedding is coming up and I’m a bridesmaid, I need to fit into that dress.”
“I think you look perfect.” He smiles brightly, eyes turning into crescents.
“As much as I love receiving compliments from you, I need those stats from the beauty department, bring them.”
“Sure thing.” His smile is still prominent as he rushes from the room, a small chuckle coming from your mouth at his sunny disposition.
He seemed to be doing much better when it came to his confidence and meek personality. He spoke louder now, rarely getting stuck on a word with nerves. He stood tall and proud, even slightly changed his work clothes to give off a stronger aura. But his sweet smile and shiny eyes contrasted him from the others clad in suits. It was nice though, everyone in the office confided in him and he had a ton of friends, even taking a liking to Jungkook immediately. You hadn’t known what his life was like before he started at your company, but it seemed better and you felt a sense of pride as you watched him go about his good days.
A few hours passed of work, both you and Jimin working alongside one another to better grasp it and hurry in time for lunch.
“Want me to bring your lunch in here?” Jimin asks from his spot across from you, stacks of folders surrounding him.
You don’t need to look away from your computer as you answer, “I’m not hungry. You go and have lunch.”
“It’s fine.” He shakes his head, “I had a big breakfast.”
You glance at him from the side of your computer as his stomach growls. Jimin looks mortified, cheeks tinting red at his obvious lie and loud body noises. “Jungkook’s going to be lonely without having anyone to eat with. Go, Jimin.”
“I-I don’t want to leave you.”
“You won’t be gone for long,” you can’t help but laugh at his cute words. “It’s just an hour, tops. I’ll be fine.”
“Okay… but I’ll bring you something.”
“Just some rice please.”
“Okay!” Your agreement to eating something sets him off, waving at you as he leaves your office.
You feel you can finally breathe when he’s gone. In no way did he make you uncomfortable, but lately, his bright smile and words of encouragement made your stomach flutter. It was a bit scary at first, how odd you felt around him all of a sudden, but you seemed to get used to it, choosing to ignore it.
The loud sound of your phone ringing brings you out of your nervous trance. You pick up the call quickly, putting it on speaker. “I told you not to call me during work hours.
“You’re so lame.” Your sister’s voice is heard from the other line.
“Is mom with you?”
“Uhm… no?”
You sigh, stapling a few sheets of paper together. “Hello, mother.”
“Don’t sound so formal.” Your mother’s familiar voice is heard. “We just called to check up on you.”
“No, you just called to see if I have a date.”
“Well, do you?” The older woman urges.
“It was the same this morning, it’s the same now.”
“Honey, you should put yourself out there some more! You’re stunning and any man would be lucky to have you.”
“Mom, she doesn’t need a date.” You hear your sister but your mom shushes her up.
“She’s right, I don’t need a date.”
“When did you become so rude? Listen to your mom!” She scolds, earning her an eye roll. You’re quite lucky she can’t see you, she would have definitely smacked you for the disrespect. “I can set you up on a blind date!”
“No way,” you shake your head fervently, scared at the idea. “Mom, those are the worst!”
“You dated Hoseok for a while, so they can’t be too bad.”
“Mom.” You deadpan, “we never dated.”
“Yes you did.”
“He’s gay mom.”
The line goes silent.
“Okay, my gaydar may be a little off but he was sweet, right? I can get you another sweet guy!”
“No.”
“Yes.” She ignores you. “A friend of mine, she’s got this CEO of a son too! His name is Namjoon, he likes art, long walks on the beach and he’s a hard worker. That’s right up your alley.”
“You don’t know what’s right up my alley.” You protest.
“He’s got these really cute dimples. He has a sweet smile. He’s kind too! He spends his time at an animal shelter and he has so many cute pictures posted with them!”
You can hear your sister cackle in the back, “mom, are you sure you don’t want to date him?”
“I might!” You can’t help but laugh at her admittance. “He should be snatched up!”
“You’re ridiculous.” You continue laughing along with your sister. Your mother was chastising your sister for teasing her, but it was all in good manners, you and your sister having a nice and lively time.
The conversation flowed back onto Namjoon and he seemed pleasant. His company wasn’t huge, but it was slowly getting there. He owned a record company, signing artists and getting them the recognition they deserved. After agreeing to stalk his socials, you were on your phone, family still talking and you skimmed through his photos. He was cute, dimples prominent in every picture. Some were of his dogs, which he had countless of them, others were at the shelter your mother referred to, and the others were of him with his trainees. He captioned all the pictures with sweet words, enticing enough to make you awe and smile.
“Do you want me to set it up?” Your mother asks one last time before having to go.
“Uhm…” you pause and think for a second. It had been a long while since you had a proper relationship. Taehyung had been your last, in the beginning of college but you broke up amicably by the end of it. Neither of you spoke but you followed one another on social media — he had a perfect partner and a kid on the way. It made you feel jealous. Not for him, you were long over him, but you wanted what he has. What Jungkook has. What your sister has with Jin. You wanted it. But then Jimin walked in. The same soft smile plastered on his face, carrying a few trays of food, coaxing it to you as he lifted it up. “I’ll get back to you.”
“Honey, someone’s going to steal him from you!”
“I’m hanging up.” You hum out, hanging up on the woman.
“Who’s stealing who from who?” Jimin asks, taking a seat on his previous chair across from you.
“Nothing.” You shrug, hoping he lets it go. And he does. “I didn’t get much done,” you admit, a sheepish look on your face. “My sister called.”
“That’s fine,” there goes the fluttering as he smiles. “That’s why I’m here.”
—
“Jungkook, enough!” You huff out with annoyance as he tugs your dress up from the sides. “It doesn’t fit!”
“Yes it does! You just need to suck it in a little more!”
“I can’t just suck it in!”
A knock on the door brings the two of you out of your fit. You were breathless, struggling with the dress that Jungkook tried to shove you into. “Are you two okay in there?” Jimin’s soft voice is heard.
“I need another hand!” Jungkook calls out but you quickly smack his hand away from the lock of the dressing room.
“Don’t you dare!” You seethe, face red with embarrassment. “We’re fine, Jimin. Can you call June for me?”
“Uhm… okay.” He sounds different, voice showing his timid self.
You turn back to Jungkook with a glare. “You can’t just offer him to head in here!”
“And why not?”
“He’s my assistant and my boobs are falling out?!”
“No they’re not,” he scoffs. “I would have left a long time ago out of respect for June if they were.”
“I was summoned.” June’s graceful voice is heard as she knocks on the door.
“My angel,” Jungkook happily sighs, opening the door and dragging her into the room. Your face flushed more, nervous that someone has to see you struggle with a dress. “____ needs help. She won’t suck it in.” He pokes your stomach.
“You shithead,” you threaten. “Don’t touch your boss like that!”
“Boss, shmoss. We’re way past that line,” he looks over at his girlfriend with a dopey smile. “Can you help us, baby?”
June brightens up at the thought of being able to dress you. “Of course! You’re going to be the prettiest girl at that wedding!” She giggles as she rushes to you, taking a glance at the size of the dress. “What size are you?” She questions.
“Eleven.”
“Jungkook, you idiot!” June glares at her boyfriend. “You’re suffocating the poor girl in a size nine!”
“It was an accident!”
“So I didn’t magically gain weight in just two days?” You sigh in relief, shoulders sagging down.
“How could you mess that up? You know what, never mind! Go to your daughter, I left her with Jimin.” She scolds the guy, ushering him out as he squeaks out a few apologies. “He’s an idiot.” She huffs out.
You can’t help but laugh at her words, “sorta.”
“It probably felt scary,” she sends you a sad look. “I know weight is tricky to handle… sorry he made you freak.”
“It’s fine.” You shake your head, sending her a kind smile as she reaches outside to grab your correct sizing. “I just didn’t exactly want to ruin my sister’s wedding. This dress doesn’t go higher than twelve.”
She lets out a puff of air. “Stupid brands. I don’t know why they can’t accommodate to bigger bodies. And I’m sure your sister would have understood.”
“She definitely would have,” you agree. “But the wedding is already putting her a little behind, getting new dresses would cost.”
“And I’m assuming she declined your offer to pay?”
You chuckle at her correct deduction. “Yeah. Something about not needing the ‘handout’ or whatever. I’m just always happy to help.”
“Yeah… uhm… I heard about the college fund thing.” She brings it up, a nervous smile on her face.
“Don’t stress it.” You try to calm her down. It was no lie she was intimidated by you, although it was a little weird at first, but Jungkook awkwardly admitted that you two were just polar opposites. She was the type of person who yearned to be a housewife, a mother, the type of woman who spoke softly and kindly. You weren’t any of those, and she often felt inferior compared to how far in life you had gotten to. “It was a half joke. I know you guys are saving up, I’m just offering to pay anything that isn’t met once she’s eighteen.”
“Of course, I just… I wouldn’t know how to accept that.”
“Well… it’s not really for you.” You admit, trying to be kind when speaking with her. “I love that little girl and it would ease all our minds if she got the education she deserves.”
“It would…” she nods, a small smile on her face. “We’ll pay you back.”
“You can pay me back when she’s got a stable career.” There’s a reassuring tone to your voice that she received loud and clear. “I promise I’m in no rush to get a few bills back. Knowing how hardworking you and Jungkook are, you’ll make the mark by then, so again, don’t stress it, okay?”
“You’re too kind.”
“Says no one ever.” You joke.
“Really!” She nods, helping you slip into your dress. “Everyone at your office always speaks highly of you!”
You feel weird as she compliments you, but you take in her words. “I’m just decent. It’s basic human decency.”
“Not just any person with basic human decency would help Nayeon pay for her daughter’s private school. Or give Soojin those paid days off to care for her mother. Most of your money goes to your employees than it does you — no business man or woman does that.”
You feel shy as she lists off your recent endeavors. You liked to keep them hidden, never speaking of them yourself but the people you helped loved to shower you with thanks, despite telling them it wasn’t necessary. You were just lucky to have the platform and wealth you have and you knew you wanted to use it well when you first started. It’s why your magazine, website, channel, and your shows were highly acclaimed. You and your workers told the truth and nothing but, mixed with fun tips, for all individuals alike. Honesty and kindness was very much needed and you are more than happy to give it away.
“By the way…” she trails off as she helps you zip the dress up. “Are you and Jimin dating?”
You still at her question. “Huh?”
“It just… he looks like a dorky little boyfriend following after you.”
You laugh nervously at her words, that annoying fluttering your stomach back as you speak of the guy. “He’s just a dork in general. And he’s my assistant, he has to follow me everywhere.”
She hums before patting the dress down for you, the both of you looking into the body length mirror. “You know that look Jungkook gets when I walk into a room?” You nod for response. It was grossly cute. The both of them would shoot up excitedly, eyes sparkling with unadulterated love. “That’s how he was acting when we met up.”
You deny her words by shaking your head, eyes wide. “No… he’s just a happy person.”
“Whatever you say.” She shrugs as she fixes up your hair. “Ready to show off your gorgeous self?”
“You flatter me too much.” You giggle, walking out of the dressing room with the woman. You feel nervous as you’re walking down the hallway and into the room you had rented out with your sister. Sadly, she couldn’t make it, having a few more cake tests with her fiancé, but you quickly rushed the lovely couple and your assistant who had been working all morning.
“Everyone, everyone, please, keep it in your pants.” June jokes as you fully walk into the room, shoes clacking against the marbled floor.
“How do I look?” You ask the two men, as the little girl squeals at the sight of you.
“Pretty auntie!” The little girl jumps up and down beside her father, clapping with excitement.
You send her a bright and loving smile. “Thank you, lovely.” You blow her a soft kiss, turning to look at her father. “Do I look like seaweed?” You ask, referring to the dark green color of the dress. He had teased about it before and promised to edit a picture of the dress next to a piece of seaweed.
“Slightly pretty seaweed.” He admits, making the two of you laugh. It’s then that you turn to Jimin, wanting to hear his opinion, but the awestruck look on his face makes your face feel hot.
“Is it nice?” You hadn’t ever felt so unsure of yourself, looking down at the pretty dress. It was a dark green mermaid dress with a slit at its side, showcasing your smooth leg. The upper half was built as a corset but it didn’t tighten like one usually did. Your shoulders are out on display with the off the shoulder top. It was pretty, despite the risky color, sure the hues would look just fine at the venue.
“You-you… uhm…” he coughs, turning away from you with a quick motion. “You l-look beautiful.” This time, it’s not just your stomach that flutters, heart skipping a beat at his kind compliment.
—
It would be a huge risk to ever get into a relationship with anyone you worked with. Your position stood higher than anyone else’s and it was a clear abuse of power. What if you asked someone out and they only agree because they’re afraid to lose their job? It wasn’t safe for your company.
But the more time that passed, the more you felt your mind ridden with thoughts of Jimin. Of his sweet smile, the way your hands would meet when you accidentally go for the same paper, the way his eyes shine bright when he spots something he likes, or the way he bites his plump lip when in deep concentration. You were completely enraptured with the thought of him and it wasn’t okay.
“I’ll go on the date.” You tell your mother as she sits in your office, clad in her typical two piece she often wore.
“Eeek!” She squeals, jumping up from her seat. “You’ve made me the happiest mother!” She takes your figure and wraps her tiny arms around you.
“Okay, okay, simmer down.” You groan, pulling from her hold. “It’s only one date. We probably won’t even click.”
“Don’t be so negative! You two are meant to be, I just know it!”
“Yeah, yeah,” you shrug her off. “Give him my number.”
“Already did.”
You turn to her with a look of bewilderment. “Mother, you can’t give out my number without my consent.”
“But he’s your soulmate.”
“And you’re insane.”
“I’ll ignore that because I’m too happy.” The knock on your door makes your mother turn, smiling as Jimin walks in. “Jiminie!” She greets him kindly as he bows respectfully to her.
“It’s lovely to see you again, ma’am.” His beautiful smile is on display, making you turn away before you get too wrapped up in him. “Just here to drop off some reports.” He displays the Manila folders, placing them onto your desk.
“Thank you.” You send him a stiff smile, turning immediately, missing the way his face falls.
“Jimin, I’m going to need you to make reservations at the best restaurant in the city.”
“Definitely, ma’am, could I ask who I should put it under?”
“The future wife and son-in-law!” She squeals like a schoolgirl.
“Mom,” you scold the older woman, sending Jimin an apologetic smile. “Stop being obnoxious.”
“Oh, would it be for your sister and her fiancé?” He questions, turning to you for confirmation.
“No, just my name.” You confirm.
“I finally got her to agree to a blind date and I’m getting a little ahead of myself,” your mother giggles. “Sorry!”
It’s eerily quiet for a second, Jimin’s mind catching up with the words thrown at him. Hesitantly, you look up at him, a shocked look on his face. “Don’t look too shocked, some people do find me pleasant.” It’s a joke (partly) but Jimin doesn’t seem to catch on.
“N-no! I-I… I know people find you pleasant! Not that I don’t. I do. I find you pleasant. More than pleasant actually. I didn’t mean to insinuate that you aren’t pleasant. Because you are. Like I’ve stated. Many… many… times.” He clears his throat as your mother watches the exchange with a raised eyebrow. “I-I’ll, uhm… I’ll make the reservations now.”
“Jimin.” You call out to the guy before he makes his way out of your office. He turns around rather quickly, making your mother jump in her spot, the room full of awkward tension. “I haven’t told you for when.”
He nods, refusing to look up at you. And just like that, timid Jimin is back.
—
“Do you want to look at me?” You question as you stand across from a kneeling Jimin whose hands shook as he picked up the spilled sheets.
“I-I’m busy.”
“I’m your boss, I’ll make sure you un-busy yourself.”
“That… that shouldn’t be happening.”
That was just the first occurrence. When you asked him to bring you lunch, he placed it quickly on your desk and left the room. Next, he assured you he could do his work from his desk outside. He wouldn’t come knocking at your door like he usually did, with a cup of water or snacks. He didn’t come skipping into your office to tell you of the latest gossip in the office, despite you not liking it, but it was nice to be kept in the loop.
It had gone on for a few more days until the day of your date. You had gone into work dressed a bit more prettier than you have before, sure you wouldn’t be able to go back home and change. Your pants were long and a black velvet touch. They flowed nicely down your legs but were tight around your waist, accentuating your curves. Your top was just a buttoned up Chanel tweed jacket, a black and white pattern drawn on it. You matched it with black Saint Laurent Opyum heels, and the prettiest jewelry dangling from your wrists, neck, and ears. You received countless compliments from your hard workers while heading into your office.
Sitting at your desk, you hopped right into your work, dismissing Jimin, sure he wasn’t up for talking like he had the past few days. It didn’t sit right with you to leave things so tense with him, but you also didn’t want to push him into telling you what the problem was. It would only push him further from you and it could be quite scary and triggering considering his past. You let him be. Despite how badly you wanted him to walk back into your cold office with his warm smile.
Clicking the intercom on your phone, you call the man up right after lunch. He doesn’t rush into your room like he usually does. “When I tell you to come quickly, I mean it.” You scold him. Despite what he was holding against you, he couldn’t fall behind in his work.
“I-I’m sorry.”
“I’m not asking for an apology. Just don’t do it from here on out.”
He nods, writing down all you needed him to do for the remaining hours of work. You felt a twinge of guilt at his shaky hands, but you couldn’t baby him at this time — despite how either of you were feeling, you needed to keep going or you’d end up risking a fallout with your channel. But you speak before he could leave, “I don’t mean to be mean. You’re due for a promotion and having you slack off only means you won’t receive it and I don’t want that for you.”
He nods, eyes still on the floor as he leaves the room. You let out a saddened sigh, rubbing at your temples in exasperation. The small ding from your phone makes you feel a bit of relief. ‘Can’t wait to see you! :)’ reads a text from Namjoon. Despite how kind he’s being, you ignore his message, putting your phone on silent, ignoring the world.
“Woah,” Jungkook pretends to grimace, covering his eyes with his hand at the sight of you.
“What?” You question frantically. “Do I look bad?”
“Your beauty just blinded me!” That earns a scoff from you, trying to hide your shy smile. He removes his hand with a laugh, poking at the dangling hoop from your ear. “Why are you so dolled up?”
“I’ve got that date, remember?”
“Oh yeah, with that Joon guy.” He nods, taking his cup of coffee in the cupboard of the office lunch room. “You excited?”
You shrug, glancing around the room. The space was small, a simple couch in the corner, a table in the middle and your typical kitchen appliances. It wasn’t used often, only for some in-between snacks and coffee, the cafeteria in your building being used more often.
“Aw, come on, it’s your first in like two years. Liven up.” He hums as he takes a sip of his warm coffee.
“I’m just a little nervous.” You admit. “It’s been too long. What if it goes deadly quiet. I’m bad at keeping conversation going.”
He looks at you as if you’ve grown two heads. “Aren’t you the person who single handedly took down Park Jinyoung?”
“I didn’t take him down.” You scoff, tapping your acrylic nails against the white table.
“I’m pretty sure you destroying his company and dragging him for filth in your ‘Women’s Architect’ section of every platform of yours, is considered destroying him.”
“The women he hurt destroyed him. I simply wrote.”
“Wrote a dissertation and built up an entire case of all his crimes. You stood across a courtroom of people and didn’t stutter once. I’m sure you can figure out how to talk to a guy.” He shakes his head, trying to dismiss your bad feelings.
“Okay… but even then, I know how to destroy men, not speak sweetly to them.”
He lets out a chuckle at your admittance. “Men are weak. Just talk to him like you speak to a child, slow and careful. I’m sure he’ll like that.”
“I’m not treating my date like a child, that’s condescending.”
“Most men are.” He shrugs.
“You bear a lot of hatred towards your kind.”
“What can I say? Men are trash.” You laugh at his ridiculous smile.
It goes quiet for a second as Jungkook happily sips on his coffee. Your mind is running before deciding to ask what’s on your mind, “do you know what’s wrong with Jimin?” Jungkook turns to you with a raised eyebrow. “He won’t speak much to me and he seems terrified again.”
“He’s not so much terrified as he is upset.”
You feel your heart drop at his words. “Did I do something to upset him?”
“Not purposefully.”
“Do you want to tell me what I did?”
“No can do,” he clicks his tongue repeatedly. “I’d be breaking bro code.”
“Just now you hated all men, now you’re protecting one?” It’s a joke, but you’re sure he can see how badly you wanted to know how Jimin was.
“He’s my best friend,” he laughs at the worried look on your face. “I can’t do him like that.”
You scoff, “I was your friend first.”
“I’ll give you a clue since you’re too stupid to notice —
“That’s not nice.”
“This all started when you made him make you reservations for a date.”
“Does he not like his job?”
Jungkook sighs, putting his cup down in the sink. “You’re a lost cause.”
—
By the time night time rolls around, all of your employees are gone, as well Jimin. You hadn’t even been able to bid him a goodbye, sprinting out of the office once the clock hit five. It irked you a bit, but you figured he had a bad day — you had scolded him a few times too many. It was better he shake the day off instead of staying and perhaps messing up more with his muddled mind. And it happened at times, so you wouldn’t hold it against him.
But you couldn’t stop thinking of Jungkook’s so-called hint. The day he had walked into your office, not much had happened. Your mother behaved when you told her to, so it couldn’t be her mouthy self that made him upset. You hadn’t done anything either, other than make him rush to your drying cleaners and pick up your dress for a gala you need next week. But that was as far as you had gotten — it was an uneventful day.
You sigh, shaking your thoughts away, not wanting to be tense when you meet up with Namjoon, which was just a half an hour away. Putting your long jacket over your figure, you make way to grab your bag, only to jump when the door to your office is pushed open. You let out a small yell but calm down when you catch sight of Jimin, in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt too big for his small figure. His hair is messy, chest rising up and down as if he had sprinted up to the highest floor.
“Jimin? What’s wrong? Did you leave something behind?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I’m just heading out, do you think you can lock up if you’ll be here long?”
“Don’t go.” The look of confusion doesn’t go missed by him. “Don’t go on the date.”
“What?” You watched him carefully, “why not?”
“B-because…” he stutters, refusing to look at you. You put your bag down onto your desk, worried. “I-I, I… uhm…”
“Jimin,” you call out soflty. “Are you okay? If this is about today, I’m sorry for being harsh. You know I only do it to help—”
“I love you!” The room goes quiet at his sudden loud words. You take a step back at his loud voice, face falling. You can feel your heart beating hard against your chest, worried for him. “I-I don’t want to be sappy… but I can’t help it. I… I think I’ve loved you from the first day I met you. You were kind and you spoke so confidently — it was weird. I-in a good way!”
“Jimin…”
“I liked that you didn’t take any crap from Baekhyun, I like that you didn’t let him deter you from your business, I like that you took pity upon his lowly assistant and fetched some ice for me. You were the first person to show me kindness in so long. Even to this day — everything you do, you do for your workers, your company, you do it for me. Even when you’re yelling at me, I-I can’t help but love you more because you’re doing it to help me rise in your company. You’re that good.”
“Jimin, please…”
“I like that you like to mess around with your mother and sister, despite pretending you hate it when they’re around. I like that you bring Hyuna into your office when Jungkook has to care for her for the day. I like that you give everyone opportunities that they deserve. God, you’re such an amazing person and how everyone in the office hasn’t fallen madly in love with you is shocking but I did. I fell madly in love with you and I don’t… I can’t handle the idea of you going on a date with some random guy.”
“Jimin.” You breathe out shakily, mind muddled with his long and strong confession. Your stomach, the butterflies that you often felt for him dropped, sitting in your stomach, leaving an unsettling feeling. But your heart was completely different. It beat hard, a slight wave of excitement and happiness being covered by the bad emotions. “I’m your boss.”
“I-I don’t care. I’ll quit if I have to.” He rushes towards you, taking a hold of your hands.
“You shouldn’t have to quit your job for anyone.” You shake your head, refusing to let your feelings get the better of you. “I thought we talked about this? You can’t let others get in the way of your future.”
“I want you as my future.” He sounds as if he’s pleading with you. He lets out a small laugh as he begins once more, “I remember I used to be made fun of for telling my teacher’s that all I wanted in life is to be a good husband. No boy ever said that, they all wanted to be an astronaut or another cool job. But me… I always wanted someone I could be good to, someone I could love and care for until the end of time. I want that with you.”
“You don’t.”
“You can’t tell me what I’m feeling,” his beautiful eyes, the ones that hide when he smiles so bright were wide open, tears brimming them. “And I know you feel the same.”
You shake your head, pulling away from him. “I don’t.” He calls out for you, but you’ve grabbed your purse. “I expect to see you here tomorrow at 9 AM sharp.”
“Wait, no—”
“I can’t accept your feelings, Jimin.” It takes everything within you to turn him down. To take in his sweet words and not hold him, certain that those little things you felt around him meant the same. “I’m your boss. Nothing more, nothing less. Nine, tomorrow.”
“I-I…” he rushes after you, the sound of your heels clicking is the only thing heard as you make your way out of your office. You feel your hands shaking but you bring them up, hoping it goes undetected. “___, stop.”
“I’m running late.”
You make way into the elevator, pressing the button for the garage. You pray and hope the beloved guy doesn’t rush into the enclosed space with you… and he doesn’t. Rather, he stands ahead of the elevator, looking into the space and at you with such a pained look. You have to turn your head away, your own eyes brimming with tears at the sight of his hurt face.
“I… I quit…”
You nod your head, despite how frantic you feel at his resignation. “Okay. Send HR the official letter.” Is all you say before the doors close, giving you the space you had been begging for. Your back lays against the smooth wall, heart aching as a small sob racks your body.
—
“Do you know what fractions are?” You’re not yelling, but your tone is serious as you stare down at your office of employees. “Half of you are Ivy League graduates and you don’t know simple fractions?” The office is silent as you stare down at them.
You slam the folder down onto the nearest desk, making the intern jump up. “Who’s the dumbass who handed this in?”
Quiet once more. “That’s fine.” You scoff. “I hire my workers for their honesty, if you need help, you have a ton of resources and people around you. Don’t just sit on your desk like a moron, waiting on me to coddle you!” Now you were yelling. The smartest people you knew were staring back at you with wide and scared eyes, and it only irked you further.
“Jeon Jungkook.” Your glare is turned to the man who shot up from his seat. “Get your ass in my office. Now.” He shares a pitiful look with his coworkers who all push him into the lion’s den. But you ignore it all as you saunter back into your office.
It was a mess. There were papers strewn about the place and you felt as if you were going crazy. Nothing was organized, nothing was highlighted the way you liked it, and you had barely eaten without the constant nagging of the guy whose glasses you detested.
“Y-yes, ma’am?”
“Why the hell are you calling me ma’am?” You scoff, sitting at your desk. “Pick this up for me.”
He lets out a chuckle, “yeeaaah, no.” He shakes his head which only earns him a glare as he plops down onto the chair across your desk.
“I wasn’t asking.”
“I don’t really care.” He shrugs, kicking his feet up on your desk. “You should call him.”
“I’m not begging for him back.”
“I’m not saying to beg. But apologize.”
“Apologize for not liking him back? I have nothing to apologize for.”
“Could have let the man down better.” There goes that heinous shrugging.
“I don’t need to coddle a man when I reject them.”
“Why are you acting as if you don’t like him back?” There’s confusion evident on his face.
“I’m his superior.”
“You’re my superior and you let me run about this place.”
“I’m not dating you.”
“But you are the godmother to my daughter.”
“I’m still not dating you.”
“And you’re the boss. You make the rules.”
“Exactly. I need to set an example.”
He scoffs, “what example?”
“Of not abusing my power!”
“How is it abusing your power? He confessed to you. You never held anything against him… like ever. I just don’t understand how you’re looking at all this.”
You sigh dramatically, dropping your body further into your chair. “How is he?”
“Sad.”
“He shouldn’t be.”
“You can’t tell him how he should feel.”
“I’m not even all that. Tell him to move on. He’s young and pretty — he’ll get better.”
“Hmm.” The guy hums out, nodding as he looks about the room. “I know you’re like deathly afraid you’re going to become Baekhyun—”
“Who said that?”
“But this isn’t a Baekhyun situation.” He ignores your scoff. “Baekhyun treated him like he was scum. Beat him when he didn’t match the pace he wanted him to. You haven’t given any indication that you would hurt another person in such a malicious way.”
“But he abused his power.” You repeat, hoping your point comes across. Because he was right. Baekhyun was the type of man you detested, the type of man that you worked for before you managed to make it big by crawling to the top. You knew what it felt like to only say yes because your career was on the line and Jimin did too. How could you ever look your peers in the face after pulling such a cruel act? “I’d be abusing my power. I’d be another Baekhyun and that guy can not… he can’t go back to being a wimpy kid who fell to his knees for everyone.”
“First of all, harsh.” You roll your eyes.
“You know I mean to harm, but you saw how often others would throw their work at him because he couldn’t say no.”
“Yeah… but he’s so much better. I don’t remember the last time he ever agreed to something he didn’t want. Working here, under you specifically, has changed him for the better. I’m not gonna say some sappy shit like ‘you changed him’ because you and I both know that’s not true — you’re sort of a bitch.”
“I can literally fire you for that.”
“He changed for himself and he did it because you helped him out of a situation that beat him down. That’s all you did. The rest? He did it himself. He worked to get to a comfortable place in his life because his circumstances changed and that… that’s beautiful. He saw the beauty and hope in that because he’s cheesy as hell, and you can’t blame him for falling for the amazing woman who yelled at him a little too much.”
You sit in silence, taking his words in. And he was damn right. Jimin was a strong person, he had been through more than half of your friends and family had ever gone through in life. Yet, he stood tall, always kind and always bright. It was almost unbelievable to you how strong an individual could be in such a situation — you weren’t even sure if you were strong enough for it. But he is. Park Jimin is the epitome of complete hard work and passion that you struggled with and he was the only person who could ever make you stumble.
“How was the date with Namjoon?”
“We’re both hung up on other people.” You sigh, grabbing a pen and placing it between your fingers, moving it anxiously.
“So you admit it.” The smile on his face makes you roll. “Do what you will with what I said, but I think you two could work nicely together.”
“Jungkook?”
“Yes, Wonder Woman?”
“Call me a bitch again and I’ll fire you with absolutely no severance.”
“You love me too much for that.”
“You’re fired.”
—
Despite your date with Namjoon going in a completely different direction, you still kept in contact. He sent you countless threads of messages cooing at how the head of his legal team was utterly adorable. In return, you kept him updated on your own situation. He listened to your rant a few nights ago, where he not once interrupted you. He was a great friend, and you were glad you went to that tasty restaurant that night.
Now, he was sitting besides you as you and all the other bridesmaids spoke to your sister.
Your sister immediately took a liking to him, and you felt like a third wheel as they clicked. Your sister teased you with the fact that he really was perfect and mom would snatch him up. You shrugged it off though, letting the makeup artist fix you up. Your silence didn’t go undetected by her, giving Namjoon a look which he oddly understood within the two hours of knowing her. He ushered the other bridesmaids out of the room, promising to give out the number of his most promised artist, leaving you and your favorite person in the messy room.
“Want to tell me what’s wrong.”
“Not really.”
“It wasn’t actually a question,”
You scoff, “you’re a horrible sister.”
“Cry about it.”
You sigh, turning in your seat to face her. She sat in her comfortable chair looking beautiful. Her face was painted with the most expensive makeup she could get her hands on, for the picture of course. She wore a simple white slip which would be worn under her white dress for the most romantic day of her life. She was the epitome of absolute beauty and grace. You couldn’t lie and say you didn’t envy her growing up, but as you grew older, you realized she was just as human as you, strengthening your bond.
“You never told me how you and Jin met.” You watch as her eyes brighten at the mention of her beloved fiancé. You almost scoff at the loving look.
“God… it feels like you so long ago.” She hums, reminiscing on their love story. “I hated him.”
Your eyes widen at her admittance. “What?”
She nods, popping her mouth. “He was the worst. So cocky, entitled, his ego was through the roof.”
“Ew.” A grimace falls on your face, slightly shuddering. “How the hell did you fall for him? How the hell is he not any of those things? He’s the nicest person I know.”
“It took a lot of work.” She laughs at the shock on your face. “You know how I was in Alpha Phi?” You nod. “He was in Delta Chi. We didn’t interact much at first, not until the president of our sorority started dating the president of his frat. We were all pushed to one another from there, all our fundraisers and community service began to mesh up simply because Hera and Daniel wanted to spend time together.”
“This is like out of a romcom.” You moved around your seat, finding comfort in your sister’s story and love filled words and trance.
“One of my sorority sisters was hung up on him. The douche he was, he slept with her and completely ghosted her.”
You gasp, “what an ass!”
“Right? I tell him that to this day!” The two of you share a giggle. “But she pushed me to ask him if he had a girlfriend, because despite how loved he was on campus, no one actually knew a thing about him. And so I asked. The little shit thought I was interested in him!”
You scoff. “Little shit.” You reiterate her words.
“God, he was so annoying. He hung around me like a lost puppy. He was cocky, swore I’d fall for him, swore he’d make me see how much I was supposedly missing.”
“Men and their egos.” You roll your eyes.
“I can’t lie… he was stunning… so I sorta liked the chase but I knew I wouldn’t give him any time of day. But he still stuck around, even when my sorority sisters would glare him down, the ball of weirdness stayed by my side. I don’t know how it happened… but after a few arguments in the beginning, we just sorta became friends.” She shrugs, fidgeting with the bottom of her slip. “He gave up on chasing me and I was more than happy. We fell into a nice friendship. Remember Uriel?”
“Ugh, that douche you dated your junior year?”
“Yeah… Jin didn’t like him. At all. They couldn’t even be in the same room. And… well, you know how that went down.” And you did. The sorry excuse of a man cheated on her and in turn blamed her for being friends with other men (for being friends with Jin really.). It was around the same time you began to realize your sister was just like you. Lost and reeling from the pain of losing the one man who was supposed to stick by your side forever. “I wallowed in pity with him. He helped me out of my slump and I won’t exactly go into details, but we argued. Big time. Worse than ever before and split. No texts. No glances. We acted like we didn’t know one another.”
Your eyes widen as you remember what happened next. You were a senior in high school, sitting around the kitchen island when Seokjin showed up to your home, drenched and carrying some messed up flowers. Your sister scolded him that night, “there’s a hurricane warning!” she yelled as she dragged him in. Now, you were too entranced in your own messed up love life with Taehyung (who you had barely begun the talking phase with) that you hadn’t realized what was really happening.
She had dragged him into the house where you ran up to your room, giddy to speak to Tae. Your mother though, she watched as her eldest continuously scolded the man who looked at her like she hung the stars. She excitedly told you of how your sisters promised she’d hate him until the end of time if he ever pulled such a dangerous stunt until he asked to kiss her, despite her anger. She had said no and he respected it. The two sat in silence after that until your sister had enough and kissed him first.
You and your mother squealed together that next morning and teased the two of them when she made breakfast for you all. Despite not having the biggest age gap, Seokjin treated you like a sister. But the one you would tease and punch the number amount of times on their birthday. You spent countless nights at the apartment later on, broken after you were fired by the boss who took you for granted. You spent countless nights in their living room when you were so broke you couldn’t afford to buy yourself basic necessities such as toothpaste.
And throughout it all, you saw how much they loved one another. It wasn’t the type of relationships you saw throughout college — toxic. Always fighting, jealousy, forbidding things from one another. It was the healthiest relationship you had seen, besides your parents of course. But you had such perfect examples of love your entire life, you felt embarrassed for being such a wimp.
“Why do you ask?” Her interest is piqued as she watches you shut your eyes right with a loud groan.
“I think I’m in love.”
“With Jimin.” It’s not a question, rather, a statement.
You perk up, looking at her carefully. “How do you know?”
“Mom called me the day you agreed to the blind date. We had our suspicions in the past but she confirmed it with the way he reacted.”
“And you guys didn’t tell me anything?” You hiss out, smacking her arm.
“What were we supposed to do?” She laughs at your distress. “You’re the most emotionally constipated person we know. We sorta figured you would go to him on your own terms.”
“What if I had wafted towards Namjoon?”
“You would have never fallen for that dork.” She scoffs.
You smile gently, thinking of your bigger dork. The guy whose main wardrobe piece was those hideous vests he loved. The guy who’s glasses fogged up when he was nervous around you. The guy who made sure you took care of yourself throughout the day, refilling your bottle with water or bringing you light meals because you were on another crazy diet. The guy who managed to fight against every scary thought of his to confess, only for his nightmares to come true. You rejected him without a second thought. Tossed him to the side as if he meant nothing to you.
A loud knock on the door makes you both jump. “It’s just me!” Jin’s familiar voice is heard. “Can I come in? There’s some annoying guy in my room trying to get me to join his company!”
You and your sister snicker at the thought of Namjoon chasing after the beautiful man. “Okay, but close your eyes.” Your sister rushes to open the door for him.
“Are you in your dress already? I’m going to cry if you say you are.” He questions as he stumbles into the room, hand placed over his eyes.
“I’m not, love.” Your sister laughs at her fiancé. “But my makeup is too pretty to spoil.”
He lets out a loving sigh, holding onto her hand with his free one. “You look so pretty.”
“You can’t even see me.” She laughs.
“I don’t need to! I can feel it around me. Like this pretty aura.”
“You guys are so gross.” You groan in your seat, yearning to be as sickly sweet as the two.
“Hey, bug.” Seokjin greets you, “ready to party?”
“I’m ready to gouge my eyes out. Seriously, you guys are gross.”
“Don’t be mean to my beautiful fiance on her wedding day!”
“Jinnie, guess what?” Your sister squeals excitedly. “___’s in love!”
“With Jimin?”
“Yes!”
“Why does everyone know this?”
“Whatever your mom tells your sister, she tells me. It’s, like, rule number one to dating. Always tell your significant other.”
“Whatever.” You scoff, a smile on your face as you watch the two giggle to one another.
—
“Jeon Jungkook, I’m going to kill you!”
“There’s a child in the car! I can’t drive faster!”
Hyuna giggles in her seat as her mom coos at her. The two were dragged out of the after party to the beautiful ceremony your sister had. Their vows made everyone in the church cry, you ended up awkwardly comforting one of the aunts whose perfume made you want to sneeze. You felt a bit bad rushing out from your sister’s party after the toasts, but she urged you to go after Jimin.
Now, you were in Jungkook’s hideous dad car, a van painted a hideous shade of green. There were toys sprawled about the vehicle, and a few splatters of food from the toddlers previous lunches. From when? You were too scared to ask. You never wanted children.
“No, idiot, you passed his house!”
“Oh.” He shrugs, turning back around. “Sorry… it’s weird not having a screen for the GPS.”
“Hey, what happened to your old car? It was prettier than this contraption.” You look around the inside of the car. The seats were all a suede material, an ugly tinge of grey.
in a sea of unfamiliar faces, jimin’s face stood out like you were meant to see him, like you were supposed to feel your heart stop in place with how his smile made you feel when you introduced yourself or how he hold onto that smile while shaking your hand as slowly as he could just to tease you, and it didn’t take long for him to occupy a part of your heart.
well, at least as your best friend.
“i really don’t get it” jimin whines as he wipes down the counter, you look up from typing away on your computer with a slight frown and tilt your head at his annoyed expression.
“get what?” you sip the hot chocolate that jimin graciously made for you the second you stepped into the bakery he worked at.
“i don’t get what is happening with jungkook and that girl” you turn back to see jungkook sharing a strawberry shortcake with a girl and they had huge smiles on their faces, both of them positively glowing as sunlight hit them in all the right places.
you could feel the lovey-dovey atmosphere around them all the way from where you’re sitting and it was cute, kind of cute, you grimaced a little because you were never a romance enthusiast.
or maybe you were just as bitter as jimin.
but you’re better at hiding it than he is.
“they seem to like each other, why are you so mad about that?” you scoff while masking your own not-so-nice feelings with a glare, and see jimin huff out a long breath, getting even more annoyed when you point out his obvious unnecessary reaction.
“they met like a week ago” you raised your eyebrows at the bitter tone in his voice.
“okay, so what about that? they like each other and things look good, who put a stick up your ass?” you chuckled a little and went back to typing, jimin lightly threw the cloth on the counter and you shake your head at his dramatic action.
“it’s not about that, i’m stuck doing all the work because jungkook is in love with someone he met a week ago, i shouldn’t have pushed him to her.” he scolded himself for being so encouraging to jungkook but deep down, he knows that’s not the reason at all.
“is it really that or you’re just jealous because you didn’t get laid this past week?” you quipped with pursed lips and jimin threw a glare your way causing you to laugh.
“you can just say you’re jealous, you don’t have to be a bitch about jungkook finally getting with someone” you shrugged, and jimin rubbed his forehead.
“listen, i’m not jealous, i just, can you at least listen to me?” jimin whined exasperatedly when you ignored him and continued typing, you slightly paused, nodding distractedly, holding a hand up to signal that it will take a minute and jimin huffs as he steps away.
“why do i even try with you?” he pouts deeply and you almost give in, wanting to shut your laptop right then and give him your undivided attention but you hold yourself back.
“don’t be so fucking dramatic, give me a minute and i’m all yours” you mumbled while rolling your eyes, finally finishing your assignment and saving it with a relieved sigh, now you were free for the weekend and you didn’t have to worry about your professor breathing down your neck to finish your work, you look up with a small smile to see jimin staring at you with an unreadable expression.
“what’s up? why are you being so pissy?” you crossed your arms over your chest and stared pointedly at him, jimin suddenly looks shy, nervous even which has you concerned for your usually very confident and charismatic friend.
“i feel like i should be doing that too, you know?” he narrowed his eyes as he tried to explain what exactly he was feeling and it only made you feel more confused.
“….sharing a strawberry shortcake with someone?” you asked with an incredulous expression and jimin resisted the urge to hit you on top of your head, thank goodness he liked you.
“no, what the hell? not that. i want to be like that” he gestured towards jungkook and the girl who were now completely obvious to the rest of the world, it’s like they were floating in their own bubble built with joy and security, any person in the room would be able to tell that they were witnessing love blooming right in front of them.
you’re not sure if jimin is jealous or just being a bitter old man about young love, but you knew you were jealous.
you want that too, a bubble of your own that you build carefully and steadily till no one can break it, you wanted to experience love too.
it’s only when jimin starts talking again that you lean back in to hear him, not fully listening to him but listening to him enough to not lose track of the conversation or to get out of your mind weaving its imaginations.
“i’m not jealous, i’m more than happy for our jungkook but there’s a little part of me that also wants to sit in front of the sun, completely lost in the person sitting opposite to me, i want that feeling of acting like there’s only us in the room and everyone else is just air” jimin speaks whimsically, like there was magic twirling in his words, he had a charming smile on his face as he narrated what the love of his dreams would be like.
“so, being in love?” you mutter and trail off, not paying attention to the curious look that grazes your face as you think about how love must feel like, it had to be an out of this world feeling, right? that is why people go so crazy over it. it’s the feeling many great authors have tried to explain, while they have given a peek to what love is, even the greatest couldn’t define it fully.
you don’t believe in romance however, you don’t believe you’ll ever get to build the bubble you want, you accepted that maybe one day, you might fall in love but romance might never show up in your life, because you’re simply not ready for the vulnerability that comes with the rushing strands of romance.
and you’re so lost in yourself, you miss the way jimin stops thinking and looks at you with a smaller, but softer smile on his face, the smile that no one knows about, not even you.
“yeah, being in love.” it’s after he says these words with so much warmth that you snap fully out of whatever daze you went in.
because jimin sounds serious and he’s only serious about a handful of things, one of them being sales at the chanel store, you’re not kidding, you can’t even count all the times he’s dragged you there during black fridays, and by now, even the staff know him by name, another thing he is serious about is relationships, not just romantic ones, but friends and family, he takes them all very seriously, he’s always telling you that without effort, any relationship would collapse which is why we should take care of ourself and the people around us.
“why?” you can’t help but ask, like sure it looks and sounds lovely to be with someone you care about, but why is jimin so suddenly interested in it?
“i’m just sick of seeing it all around me and not experiencing it myself, like even in the movies we watch or the songs we listen to, it’s all people seem to want, i’m just, i think i’m curious to see if it’s as beautiful as everyone describes it” you can relate to that, you’ve switched more than a few movies or songs because they got too cheesy or you just wanted to avoid something that seemed so far away to you.
“what if it hurts?” you ask, looking down at your fingers as you fiddle with them, waiting for his answer and he shrugs.
“then i get hurt” you finally look at him, mostly out of shock, because he can’t be this casual about getting his heart broken one day but jimin looks determined, to experience it, to live it, to be in love, you haven’t seen jimin this sure in a long time.
something about his simple answer nags you, maybe it’s just that easy, you just get hurt, you move on, you find someone else but deep down, you know that if you’re going to love, you’re only going to love one person and you’re going to do it right then or maybe you’re just a coward who doesn’t want to hurt someone or get hurt.
“well, you’ll get there one day” you look away from his intense gaze and pretend to keep working on something in your laptop, refusing to spare him anymore glances and out of your periphery, you can see jimin eye you one last time before sighing heavily and going back to stand at the till.
-
you don’t talk about it ever again, you even change the topic every time jimin brings it up, you know that he’s getting suspicious but you can’t help it, all that talk about love or finding your fit, made your mind cloudy, you had a lot of thoughts about it and none of them seemed like your thoughts, almost like borrowed thoughts from people around you to form an idea of love that you’re not sure you believe in.
you’re young, you shouldn’t be worrying about this and jimin shouldn’t either but here you are, two idiots aimlessly looking for love that has never presented itself in their lives before.
it has, but it’s not like you two have a clue.
you watch from where you sit in the cafeteria with narrowed eyes, jimin, who said he would be back in five minutes and it’s been twenty minutes now, is surrounded with people, the jocks, the nerds, other stereotypical people from different social groups, and he’s happily in the center of it all with an easy smile on his face.
it’s like he glows with attention, he glows with his charisma to be able to talk to anyone without wanting to run away, a power you both want and never want to be blessed with because even if you’re not all about being around people, it would be nice to hold a conversation with just about anyone, but jimin clearly doesn’t mind as he says something that has everyone around him laughing while clutching their stomachs.
for a second, you want to grab him and pull him with you so he can make you laugh like that because you don’t necessarily enjoy other people’s attention, but you don’t move an inch, you just clasp your eyes shut and slam your head on the table in front of you.
you shouldn’t think too much about this, it’s just jimin, he’s always loved being around people and you’ve never felt this urge to have all his attention to yourself but here you are, one bad move away from dragging him back to your table.
you are desperate for someone who’s already close to you and naturally, gives you a lot of attention, and you feel pathetic for thinking this way.
this isn’t like you.
you’ve never wanted jimin beside you so badly, and you aren’t sure about what you’ll talk about if he’s beside you, you’re just hoping he will carry the conversation like he usually does.
you feel a tap on your table making you look up to see namjoon staring at you unsurely.
yeah, slamming your head on a table in a room full of people probably will raise some questions about your sanity.
namjoon and you have a very casual but deep friendship, you don’t know how to explain it, but if jimin left your side at a party, you definitely would go look for namjoon to get drunk with and talk about anything in the world, he’s very open to any topic and you’re more than happy to indulge in his bright and unique mind.
“you okay?” he asks you with raised eyebrows and you nod sheepishly.
you’re just peachy.
he didn’t look like he believed you but he let it slide.
“then hopefully i will see you at the party tonight, we can pick up on that documentary about whales again?” he tilts his head, this is why you love talking with him, drunk or sober, he makes what seem like the most boring topics in the world into things that you want to be invested in, though he is much more fun when he’s drunk, and normally, you would throw finger guns and excitedly tell him yes but you already have something planned.
“movie night with jimin, so probably no, sorry joon, but i’ll come to the library in a bit, i need to pick up some books, you’ll be there, right?” he shrugs like it’s obvious he will be there because he does volunteer to work there from time to time and he leaves after that, and you’re all by yourself again.
not for too long though.
“namjoon hyung left already? i was about to come over and say hi” jimin’s voice makes you jump in your place and when he sits down beside you, you feel the all too familiar feeling of relief at his voice and presence flood through you as you exhale deeply.
jimin doesn’t notice your eyes travel across his face, taking him in like it was the first time you saw him and starts eating from the tray in front of him.
friends are allowed to admire each other, right?
“yeah, he just wanted to ask about today’s party, speaking of which, we’re still on for movie night, right?” you nudged jimin from stuffing his face with the day-old cafeteria food, he looks up with a frown, mouth smothered with red sauce and gulping down hard.
how attractive.
“i didn’t tell you?”
“tell me what?”
he furrowed his eyebrows deeper, trying to remember if he told you about his random date tonight and once he comes to the realization that he indeed didn’t tell you, he freezes.
movie nights.
they really are nothing special, it’s not like you do anything besides watch some action or animation movie while eating the greasiest foods, it’s the one-day jimin and you refuse to diet or be careful with your body, and most movie nights end with you drunk and asleep on the couch.
movie nights came to existence when your girlfriend in first year dumped you and you went crying to jimin’s dorm because you didn’t know who else you could go to, jimin knew all along that she was going to dump you at some point, he had warned you even that it was only a matter of time before you end up hurt, and considering the playful nature of your friendship, you expected him to drop the ‘i told you so’ line but instead, he scanned you with concerned eyes and silently put on the funniest movie he could think of.
boss baby.
and within seconds, maybe it was because of how much warmth jimin held in his eyes as he dried your tears and patted your head with a careful ‘don’t cry, not when you’re with me’ or maybe it was just because boss baby (tied with big hero 6, tangled and soul) was the best animated movie ever made, but you forgot.
you forgot about your girlfriend who you really did like a lot, you had a lot in common with her, and it was the first time you were dating after coming out as bisexual, it felt good, and even if you felt like you could really fall for her, you knew something was missing with you two and you even feel grateful that you didn’t have to cut her off, she did that for you.
but that day, you felt with jimin what you didn’t feel with your girlfriend.
safe.
you felt safe with jimin.
so yeah, nothing special.
nothing special about the way you looked at jimin that night and the tight feeling in your chest that you’ve been carrying since that day.
“date tonight, i won’t be coming over for movie night, i really thought i told you” you couldn’t hide your disappointment at his words, you really were looking forward to watching movies and eating junk tonight, especially with jimin, but you quickly masked it with a huge grin.
“don’t even worry about it, go and have fun, i’m sure it will go well, i will probably just watch something and eat ice cream anyway” you said with as much fake enthusiasm as you could and you almost felt like he didn’t believe you but he flashed you an equally wide grin and nodded happily.
“i hope it goes well too, i like him, he’s in my sociology class and he seemed pretty cool, we’ll see” he winks at you and he always does that, you usually just wink back at him but today, you want to bury your head in your plate of mashed potatoes to hide your flushed face. you cough and look away from him, picking your food with the dull plastic fork and your reaction confuses jimin a little, but he shrugs and continues stuffing his face.
-
“are these all the books you need?” namjoon scans the small stack of books on the counter he’s sat at and you bob your head as you sit across him, cheek leaning on your open palm.
“wait, where’s jimin? you two are usually always together” that line stings more than it should, yeah you and jimin are always together but you feel weird when someone else says it, like fuck it, you get around a lot by your own too, you don’t need jimin for everything.
“he’s preparing for a date with a cute guy from his sociology class” you mumbled with obvious disappointment and maybe even some fury laced in your voice and namjoon’s mouth forms an ‘o’ at your words.
“so, he ditched your movie night?” he states plainly and lifts his hands in surrender when you glare at him.
“he didn’t ditch me, he’s just having a date, that’s fine, i’m happy that at least one of us is having fun” your words might not be that alarming but the look on your face is, you look bitter, and like you’re ready to rip a head off and namjoon doesn’t want that to be his head so he coughs with wide eyes and returns to setting your books aside.
“what’s up with you? anything interesting?” you distractedly question as your gaze travels across the pretty empty library, it’s always this empty and namjoon is secretly grateful because he doesn’t necessarily like being around people just like you, so he enjoys the quiet and peace that the library offers.
“a little bit, i met someone in the park near han river the other day” namjoon says with a gentle grin on his face and you immediately perk up, leaning in with raised eyebrows.
“tell me everything” you whisper dramatically and namjoon lets out a laugh at your serious tone.
“there’s nothing to tell but i feel like there will be if..” he trailed off and you leaned in even more, trying to catch any details he throws at you.
“there will be if you come to the party tonight” he concludes with a sly grin on his face and you smirk, namjoon was smart, but you knew he wasn’t all that confident in the dating game so whatever was happening with him and this person he’s met, has to be something special and it’s not like you have a movie night anymore, so you return his sly grin and happily hop out of the library.
-
standing in the middle of a full room with a tight dress on with heels instead of booty shorts in your room isn’t your ideal night but you have to say, it’s not horrible so far, you’ve seen familiar faces, managed to greet and maintain a small conversation without wanting the floor to pull you in, more than a few of them asked where jimin was and it took everything in you to not visibly be annoyed.
you came here to distract yourself from him and even here, your conversations are flooded with mentions of him, you step away from everyone while nursing your peach infused drink which definitely has alcohol in it with wandering eyes, trying to find namjoon in this mess, praying to find him quickly because you will throw a chair if one more person asks about jimin.
“where the fuck is he?” you angrily type away on your phone, trying to spam him to catch his attention just in case his phone is in his pocket in this loud room and your heart leaps out of your chest when someone takes your wrist and starts walking ahead.
“sorry, you looked lost and i need to get out of here as soon as i can” namjoon yells from in front of you and you’re so glad that it’s him and not some random asshole trying to harass you.
once you’re both in the quieter area of the room, namjoon lets your wrist go with an apology and lets you know that he’s going to be back with drinks and you’re alone again.
you feel nothing but bored as you watch people bump and grind against each other, it’s only when your eyes catch jungkook’s tall figure in the room that you almost lift your hand to wave but looking at his hand holding hands with the same person you saw in the bakery, you decided against it because they looked pretty cozy and engrossed in their own conversation, it just looked like a delicate scene even in the rowdy room and you didn’t want to ruin it.
“okay vodka shots for you and beer for me”
“you know me so well.” you feign being flattered and namjoon laughs at you,
“that i do” namjoon mutters, his tongue poking out a little as he carefully tries to place the glasses on your table and you stifle a laugh when he manages to spill an entire shot on the table with a red face and cheeky smile.
“at least you didn’t spill all of them” you mused as you grabbed a glass for yourself and namjoon playfully nudged your shoulder.
“that was one time.”
“one time but it still happened kim namjoon.” you teased and he rolled his eyes at you but still clinked your glass with his and you quickly held your hands up, gesturing him to wait, namjoon waits patiently with his glass still in the air.
“what happened near han river?” you wiggle your eyebrows at him and you think you’re kidding yourself when you see namjoon blush a little.
“i met someone, and i only know their name, but i feel this kind of connection, you know? like i was supposed to meet them” he wistfully says, his eyes sparkling just a bit as he recalls his memory and you smile at him, he sounds so hopeful and you couldn’t be happier for him.
“what do you plan to do?”
“chase the feeling? all i know is, i’m going every day until i don’t feel anything anymore” namjoon is very sure of his answer and you’re more than impressed.
“good luck with that, lover boy” you tease lightly and namjoon scoffs at the cringey nickname but then starts the ever so exciting conversation about whales that you’ve been looking forward to for a long time now.
you don’t do a lot of the talking, much like in any conversation you take part in, you always let the other person speak more and namjoon loves talking, you love listening, so it really is a perfect conversation.
you are so invested in the fact that whales actually sleep while standing, you don’t pay attention to anything happening in the room around you, you tune out the entire room, you are definitely a little drunk now because the room is spinning a little and whatever namjoon is saying with the most interest in the world, is nonsense to you at this point but you still listen, nodding from time to time to show him that you’re listening.
“y/n? i thought you were staying home” you snap your head to look at where jimin’s voice comes from, the sudden movement making you a little dizzy and namjoon points behind you and there he is, jimin standing with his coat on his arm with a surprised expression on his face.
“hello hyung, have you talked to hoseok hyung lately? Is he doing better?” jimin directs his gaze to namjoon, not even waiting for you to answer but it’s not like you would have said anything, you just play with the hem of your dress as they keep talking.
just with his presence, you feel like you’ve sobered up.
you don’t know how to feel with jimin here, people walk past him, greeting him excitedly and he is equally excited to talk to everyone.
you want his attention and he keeps giving it to anyone but you.
and you know you sound petty, because jimin would never intentionally not talk to you, he just enjoys company even if it’s unfamiliar and you don’t.
it also doesn’t help that jimin looks good, he always does but today he’s put in a lot more effort than usual, his hair is slicked back, he’s wearing a crisp white shirt tucked into his black jeans which makes him look dapper, there’s a lone silver earring hanging and he’s even wearing his beloved chanel necklace which rests neatly on his smooth skin, his fingers are adorned with delicate rings and you feel weak in the knees by just looking at him. you’re not the only one though and that annoys you.
since he’s walked in, you’ve taken note of how many people turn to look at him with pleased grins, and then whisper to each other about how he looks, some even wishing that they go home with him tonight and you just don’t know how to feel.
you’ve never been bothered about this, jimin was very easy on the eyes, it wasn’t a secret that he was easily a lot peoples crush on campus and you never cared about it before but tonight, that’s all you can think of with a scowl on your face.
“i think i’m going to head home, thank you for the drinks joon, i will send the money when i reach my apartment” you hop out of your bar stool and take your purse, not bothering to say goodbye to jimin who is more than caught off guard when you don’t hug him goodbye like you usually do, namjoon doesn’t question you, just nods and gives you his famous dimpled smile and lets you go your merry way.
jimin’s eyes follow you as you slowly push through people and attempt to leave the place, and he doesn’t know why but something in him tells him to run after you, which is exactly what he does, jimin ignores everyone who tries to talk to him on the way and catches you right outside the house, you’re looking through your purse for something and upon hearing the door open, you turn to see jimin breathing heavily while looking straight at you, and you immediately feel your palms sweat a little.
“what are you doing out here?”
“why are you leaving already? i just got here.” jimin has never been one to beat around the bush so the forwardness of his question doesn’t throw you off.
“i’ve been here for a while and it’s getting late so i’m going to leave.” It isn’t a total lie but it isn’t the truth either.
also, you keep paying attention to everyone but me and i know i sound stupid but i want your eyes on me is something that stays at the tip of your tongue and you don’t let him know that you look at him in a way you shouldn’t, you think of him in a way you shouldn’t, your feelings are making you selfish, possessive even and it’s driving you insane.
but you can’t tell him any of that, you can never tell him how you are starting to feel about him.
jimin tilts his head at you, scanning your posture, it’s just too much of a coincidence that you decide to leave right when he arrived and he lets you know exactly that.
“i don’t believe you, you’ve been acting strange lately.”
“i can’t do anything if you can’t believe something this simple, there’s literally nothing else going on” you lie straight through your teeth and you want to pull your hair out at the pure frustration you feel, your fingers nervously fiddle with the heart charm necklace jimin gave you for your birthday this year and it feels like it’s burning on your skin right now.
because fuck, he knows, he has noticed it, you thought you were getting away with it but you’re not.
“what are you even doing here? aren’t you supposed to be on your date? the same date you cancelled movie night for?” you can’t help but be petty, ridiculously petty even and you know that now, you’re definitely not acting like yourself when jimin throws his head back with a groan, he doesn’t understand why you seem so bothered and defensive all of a sudden.
“i told you i’m sorry about movie night.” jimin whines, but there is a pleading tone to his whine, a pleading tone that you ignore.
“no, you didn’t and you aren’t answering my question about your date either.” you quickly correct him and he pushes his hair back roughly with his fingers, a habit you’ve chastised him about a lot of times, you almost reach to slap his hand away from damaging his hair like you usually do but you hold yourself back because nothing feels like how it used to feel.
“it didn’t go well, we agreed that we just didn’t have that spark and that we’re better as friends, that’s all and i didn’t want to go home, so i came here and imagine my surprise, i see you here sipping shots with namjoon when you told me you were going to stay home and eat ice cream.” you scoff with raised eyebrows at how he turns the tables on you because his tone is so accusing as if you were sucking faces with namjoon right in front of him and it further annoyed you.
“i don’t need to tell you everything, you’re not my dad and you’re acting like you walked in on me and namjoon doing something we shouldn’t, and i can’t believe you’re making this about me when this is very clearly about you, you never even let me know you were going on a date until the day of” you point a finger at him with your anger practically radiating off of you and jimin just shakes his head at you.
“and you know that? movie night is cancelled from now on” you cross your arms over your chest as you say this, not letting any vulnerability show because it hurts to cancel something that meant a lot to you and jimin lets his mouth drop open at your words.
“what do you mean movie night is cancelled? you’re doing this because of this one time, just because you want to be petty?” jimin asks you, his voice raising with each word and it becomes so hard for you to fight your tears because you hate it so much when people yell at you, especially when people you love yell at you.
you sniff a little and look away from him, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down and facing him again, your heart breaks at how utterly gorgeous he looks even under this dim light, it’s like the moonlight dances on his skin, his eyes are still shining, his rings are sparkling around his fingers, his earring keeps swaying with the wind and his hair is slightly out of place but still well kept and it breaks you because you can never call him yours, you can’t call this beautiful man anything other than your friend.
“not just to be petty, i’m just done getting ditched, it clearly doesn’t mean a lot to you because this isn’t the first, but the fourth time you’ve cancelled without letting me know and i’m tired of looking like i’m desperate and following you around when you probably don’t even care about me” your voice is small and tight as you say this, and you’re not sure if you’re even talking about movie night anymore, you feel like you’re indirectly letting him know that you don’t know what this feeling is, this feeling that is burning your chest and heart everyday and this feeling that makes you want to push him away and leap to hug him tight at the same time.
jimin grows silent at your heavy words and somber expression, he doesn’t know when this argument became so huge, he doesn’t understand why you don’t look at him when you speak anymore, he also doesn’t understand why he feels like he wants to comfort you when he’s supposed to be angry, jimin has never felt this lost in his life.
“y/n, where is all this coming from? you know you mean the world and more to me” his voice becomes a lot softer, a lot lower, almost into a whisper, and you wished he didn’t say the words he did, you wished he didn’t talk like you were so special to him, because that is just fueling the raging feeling that’s settled in your chest.
“please talk to me” he begs with his hands reaching out to you and you want to run away, which is exactly what you end up doing.
“i need to go, don’t think too much about this, we’ll talk it out later but i need to be alone right now” you scratch your neck while you say this, refusing to look at him, and jimin feels his heart slip at the abrupt rejection you hand him. before he could do or say anything to convince you to stay, you quickly walk away from him and disappear into the night, and all jimin does is watch you leave.
-
you didn’t end up sleeping that night, all your mind could think of was jimin.
your skin still burned from that last look he gave you, the confused, lost look with his lips turned down and it was noticeably clear that he was upset.
jimin was always so happy and bright, he had his moments but when you were with him, to this day, he’s never looked at you like this.
and it took you the entire night to understand that the way you looked at him changed, you don’t think of him as a friend anymore and that you weren’t annoyed, you were jealous of all the people he’s talked to, you were jealous that he was going on a date with someone that wasn’t you.
you feel like someone has suddenly placed a lovesick filter over your eyes or maybe it’s how you have always looked at him but realizing it scared you, you couldn’t lose him, you would be incomplete without him and you were almost sure that he didn’t see you like you saw him, it was obvious with how active his dating life has been since the beginning of college. you don’t blame him for that though, he can do what he wants, it’s your fault being a coward with your own feelings.
you couldn’t think of one thing that jimin has done to show his interest to you in any way other than how a friend would.
that entire night, you lay with a heavy heart filled with feelings for your friend, your good friend who’s done nothing but support you, you pushed him away because of your selfish feelings and you hate everything, you hate that you somehow started to like him, you hate that now when you see his hand, you want to hold it and swing it around, you keep imagining scenarios of domestic things you two could be doing if you’re together and it only hurts you more.
-
after that disastrous night at the party, you never talk to him again, he never talks to you either, both of you don’t attempt to contact each other, instead you start avoiding each other.
you sit alone at lunch now, sometimes namjoon sits with you, sometimes it’s jungkook and his girlfriend who are honestly good company, they managed to make you feel single but still included you in every conversation but never did jimin even come close to where you sat, you’re not even sure if you’ve seen him around the cafeteria.
you stop going to the bakery in your free time to keep him entertained at work, jimin still looks up every time the door dings, full of hope that you’ve come to him but you don’t, and he’s left sighing while gazing longingly at the seat you usually occupy, he plays with the same heart charm necklace dangling on his skin whenever he thinks of you, but it only makes him sadder.
“i didn’t know beavers mated for life” you look up at namjoon as you bite off the apple in your hand and namjoon shrugs, jotting down the daily log for the library.
you started spending a lot more time with namjoon or just in general, in the library because it’s so calm here, you need that kind of calm or you might just go insane.
“and i also don’t understand how you manage a bakery and library at the same time” you point at him and namjoon chuckles a little at your accusing tone.
“it’s not like i work full time here.” he rolls his eyes and continues doing the little jobs assigned to him.
“but you’re always here.” you almost yell at him and he enjoys seeing how frustrated you get with his perfect capability of managing to work at two places at the same time and still do well in both while not feeling overwhelmed.
“i’ll teach you one day, don’t worry” and just as you’re about to throw a witty comment at him, a hand reaches out from behind you and places a book in front of namjoon, you would recognize that hand anywhere.
“jimin, it’s been a while since i’ve seen you here” namjoon grins at his friend who gives him a tight-lipped smile, you don’t acknowledge jimin’s presence, grabbing a random book off the counter and acting like you’re reading it, namjoon’s eyes dart over the two of you, you don’t look at jimin and jimin looks very stiff standing beside you, he isn’t even smiling like he usually does.
yikes, namjoon wants to be anywhere but around the two of you because the tension is so obvious, he almost considers jumping out the closest window but the fine he would have to cover would be too much for his student wallet.
“just needed it for an assignment hyung” jimin offers with a dull tone and namjoon just nods, quickly scanning the book for jimin and he notices how jimin’s eyes keep darting towards you but you don’t even lift your head, namjoon isn’t even sure if you’re breathing with how tight your shoulders look.
“good to see you here, y/n” jimin says, in a way too formal of a tone, and he looks disappointed when you just ignore him and continue reading, he sighs heavily with guilty laying his heart over and silently thanks namjoon, his steps are slow as he walks away, you immediately loosen up once he’s gone and exhale deeply.
“didn’t know you were into human beings and their many pleasures” namjoon gestures to the book you’re holding, it’s a book with sex tips and you want to smack your head over and over again with it just so you don’t have to see namjoon’s cheeky grin right now.
“you could’ve at least told him hello” he says lightly but there is a scold in his tone, his eyebrows are furrowed and he isn’t joking around anymore.
“it’s just complicated joon” you mumble sadly and namjoon takes the book away from you, looking at you pointedly.
“you should go after him and try, i don’t want you to regret this” he simply instructs and goes back to doing his work, namjoon’s right and you know it, you take in his advice slowly, jimin couldn’t have gone far, the library is huge and it takes a lot of time just to exit it, and if you run now, you could catch him.
but what would you say?
you decide that you will think about that on the way to him as you slide your chair back and start running.
what will you say?
would he even say anything back?
does he hate you?
you run and run, until you see his sage green cardigan just peeking around the corner, you fasten your pace to catch him, and grab his shoulder right when he almost leaves the building. he turns around grimly, like he was expecting that it was you.
“y/n” he says softly, but he also shrugs your hand off his shoulder, your heart clenches in place with how his voice and his actions differed so much.
“looked like you were having fun with hyung, i didn’t know it was so easy to replace me in your life” his eyes are ice cold, all the warmth you have associated jimin with since you’ve met him, disappears right in front of you and your words stay in your mouth because what will you say to that?
“jimin, why are you speaking that way? there’s nothing going on between us, you know that” you try to reason with him, and he shakes his head like he doesn’t believe you, scoffing a little and you feel hurt at his reaction, because this isn’t the jimin you know, he’s like this to people he doesn’t care about, he’s never like this to you of all people.
“maybe i don’t know, but you don’t have to explain anything to me, goodbye” he says with a straight face and you don’t understand how he seems so indifferent with hurting you, and you don’t say anything else as he takes one last look at you and leaves you right at the exit.
-
it hurt a lot that day, to be treated as any other person in the world, and not someone who actually meant something to jimin, and you can’t bring yourself to blame him because you weren’t all that different from him, you also weren’t treating him like you used to and it was only a matter of time before all that ignorance blew up on your faces.
and you know now, it’s glaringly obvious that you like jimin, you’ve liked him for a while and the only way you could manage coming to that realization was by pushing him away, which was stupid on your part but how else were you going to handle knowing that you were probably in love with someone who was your best friend?
you’re not sure what made you drive over to jimin’s apartment the very next day, maybe it was just knowing that even rejection wouldn’t hurt as much anymore but keeping your feelings to yourself will just be damaging to you and your friendship, as your best friend, he deserved to know how you actually felt, he was the last person you wanted to lie or hide from.
you shift on your feet as you stand in front of jimin’s room, you’re hesitant to knock or enter like you usually do, what are you even doing here? you can’t just tell jimin how you feel, what if he starts to hate you? or even worse, he never wants to see you again?
you could handle rejection but you’re not sure if you can handle not being around jimin anymore.
you take a deep breath as tears line up your eyes, why is this so hard? why did you have to like jimin the way you do? you can’t do this, not today.
you decide that you will tell jimin another time, you’re not ready to lose him yet but just as your feet back off from the door to turn and leave, you hear the door open and you’re frozen in your spot, your heart racing down the hall as jimin steps out with an equally surprised look on his face.
he gulps, tightening his grip around the bag he’s holding, he didn’t expect to see you anymore, not after he practically blew up on you when you were just trying to make amends.
“i-i was just going to throw the garbage” he nervously mutters, holding up the black bag in his hand and you nod while fiddling with your fingers as he purses his lips, alternating looking at you and the wall behind you before he sighed and finally decided to do something instead of standing around like a fool.
“wait inside, i will be back” he instructs, opening the door wider for you and you just give him a tight smile and step in, watching as jimin disappears out of view and the door close behind you. you never feel weird coming into jimin’s apartment, you spent half of your first year here rather than in your dorm room because simply his apartment was so cozy and a lot more spacious.
jimin earned a lot from the bakery, be it in the form of tips or his paycheck because the bakery was just very high-end, you used to love coming here and doing your assignments or playing board games with jimin, but it is weird now, you feel like you’re intruding on him which is the last thing you want to do.
you take off your coat, and settle on the sofa, throwing your head back because you can’t believe you’re going to tell jimin that you like him and potentially ruin a very good friendship but were you two friends anymore? you haven’t talked for days, the last few conversations you’ve had with him aren’t how friends talk and you want to make some sense out of it but you don’t understand anything yourself.
the only thing you’re sure of is that you like jimin, might even love him and that’s what you are going to tell him.
“sorry, that took long” jimin lets out a small chuckle, as he steps into the house and you are already sweating, you wave him off, muttering a it’s okay as he sits down on the sofa, at the other end, away from you. the distance hurts but it was appropriate considering your situation.
“jimin look, i’m going to make this quick because i really don’t want it to seem like a big deal” you jump right into it, you turn to him and he immediately straightens up in his place, showing you that he is listening.
“i’m not sure what exactly happened or why you thought that way, but you said that i replaced you with namjoon and namjoon, is just, a very good friend, i literally only talk about animals with him, me and namjoon are not like us, we will never be like how we both are so i just wanted to take that out of the way” you stand up in the middle of your explanation, it’s a nervous habit of yours, pacing around while talking and you see jimin sigh, in relief or exhaustion, you’re not sure but you continue before you lose all courage and run away again.
“another thing is, i like you, love you even, not how a friend should.” you pause, there’s no turning back now so you gather the little bit of strength that you can and continue but you don’t dare to look at jimin, you’re not ready for that yet.
“i’ve truthfully not been able to see you as a friend at all, like friends don’t get jealous which is exactly how i get when i see you around others, i feel like dragging you out of the room and having you all to myself and it sounds stupid but that’s how i feel, friends don’t look at each other like i look at you, it’s not in me to see you as just a friend anymore, i can’t keep lying to myself and to you, it isn’t fair on either of us” you put your hands on your hips and hang your head low.
you’ve said it, it’s out now, jimin’s heard it and he hasn’t moved an inch and the rejection you feel from just his stoic posture has you wanting to wail into your pillow and disappear into thin air.
“so yeah, that’s what i wanted to say, you don’t have to give me a reply or anything, and i understand if you don’t want to talk again, take care” you mumble shamefully, your voice cracking in the middle and it’s taking everything in you to not cry in front of him.
you sniff as silently as you can and take your coat, not turning back to look at him.
“y/n wait, you didn’t let me speak” jimin finally talks from where he sits, his face is as serious as it was all those days ago and you want the ground to swallow you up just to protect yourself from whatever gentle rejection he will give you.
you hold your breath as you watch him getting up from the couch and walking over to you, slowly like he has all the time in the world and you really just want him to say what he wants to before you start crying right here.
jimin reaches and stops right in front of you, you don’t look at him and his face softens at your nervous stance, he brings his hand up and you stiffen even more when he reaches your collarbones and slowly takes hold of the necklace you two share.
“you know what else friends don’t do? this” he lifts the heart charm necklace from your skin and you gape at him, your heart racing in your chest as he smiles down at you.
“i might give attention to people around me but i don’t give my heart just to anyone, y/n, and if i gave it to you, you can’t think that i see you as a friend, i’ve never seen you as a friend, i’ve seen you like a lover, always admiring and always from far away, but i don’t have to stay away anymore, so thank you for not being a coward like me, i love you too, i love you the most.” he drops his confession subtly, and for a second, you think you hear him wrong, but when you look up to finally meet his eyes, you see the way he looks at you. it’s the same way you look at him.
and that’s all the confirmation you need, you drop your head on his chest and groan loudly because you almost had a panic attack just by imagining the different ways this could go, you definitely didn’t think you would end up with your head on his chest but you don’t mind, it feels nice and warm, it feels just like jimin.
“couldn’t you have just said it earlier? i was ready to usain bolt out of here” you complain and he laughs above you, pushing your head in further into his chest and softly patting your head while circling his other arm around you.
“that would’ve ruined the suspense” he lightly jokes and if you weren’t as blissed out as you were, you would have punched him in the arm but your loved up heart can only lift your eyes to glare at him.
jimin looks starstruck, like your eyes hold all the galaxies in the world and he’s swimming in them, even your glare softens just by looking at him, he lifts the pad of his thumb to brush against your cheek in a such a tender way that you want to melt, you want to melt right into his arms.
“please never look away from me again.” he adds seriously because he’s missed looking at you, he’s missed looking at you with all his love and care settled into them and you nod wordlessly, pulling him in closer and rubbing your nose with his, making him giggle lightly.
and right then, you feel the bubble you’ve dreamed of, building itself steadily around you with the pure joy and love radiating off you two and you feel complete and safe.
you never thought you could make a bubble of your own, and you didn’t think that jimin would feel so right in your arms, and you definitely never thought that you would be so comfortable even with your most vulnerable emotions worn on your sleeve.
but you aren’t scared anymore, you aren’t running anymore, you don’t want to slam your head on a cafeteria table anymore, you don’t think jimin would let you do that from now on to be honest and you’re so glad that he’s proved you wrong, several times over, wrecked all your beliefs and still made you feel the way you do.
you’ve always wondered what love is.
and looking at jimin’s face, he looks like love, jimin feels like love too, jimin feels like something you want to fall in deeper for.
it’s like jimin is love itself.
and you have your answer right there in front of you, love isn’t some grand gesture that ends in happy tears, love also isn’t what they show in the movies, but love is definitely the out of the world feeling you expected it to be, and you’ve learned what love is, love is jimin.
