Blink And You’ll Miss It. (m) | ONE SHOT | JEON JUNGKOOK, 13.3k

Pairing(s):Reader x Jungkook

Summary:Jungkook is just trying to do his job by bailing you out (on top of being a busy attorney in the city) but you seem to be hell-bent on making that ten-times harder for him. Street racers aren’t known to be slow, in fact, you have the reputation of ‘blink and you’ll miss her,’ so what’s the deal?

Warnings/Tags: RATED M (18+) for language;smut (fem-reader; unprotected sex, specifically unprotected sex in a car; riding; penetrative sex; a dash of dirty talk; multiple orgasms; essentially porn with a hint of plot ha); police officer Namjoon + Vmin as street racers; I have no idea about how the bailing out system works, it’s simply a tool to facilitate bickering; this (despite the visuals from the wip) has very little to do with street-racing lmao; minor traffic accident for the reader tho, dw tho JK is v attentive; (this fic also showcases my growing affection for parentheses :]) fluff; non-idol!AU - Lawyer/Attorney!Jungkook (I will never tire of writing Jungkook in this role) x Street Racer! Reader

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-

Jungkook is naive and a tad twitchy the first time he comes to the station with his supervising attorney. There are words that fly over his head, instructions disguised as sentences that run off in a spool.

Paperwork is sacred. File everything, even the things you think are unimportant. Drill that in your skull, Jeon. You can cut corners once you’ve finally found your footing, till then, grovel.

“Yes sir,” he answers, dodging the people who were the overflow in the crowded sea. Although he wonders if the advice is misplaced, giving him a dreaded knot in his stomach that he was going to do this for longer than he had anticipated.

The police station looks like any other. It’s cramped, sequestered between two decrepit buildings, guarded by electrical poles with lone electrical wires that were frayed at the ends. The walls, once white, were now streaked with grime from inner city pollution. Seoul is only shiny from afar (or above). The glass doors are cut into with stickers that read ‘Yongsan-gu Police Station.’ It’s busy, even on a weekday. The scent of stale coffee and cigarette smoke permeate the air as the doors come together again in a jagged drag.

Jungkook follows his superior through the maze of cubicles, steals a glance at the officers pre-occupied with their own matters. They stop in front of one wearing glasses, his frowning mouth flanked by dimples.

“Kim.”

“Mr. Choi.”

Awaiting instructions, Jungkook sees that the officer’s name is Kim Namjoon. The lanyard is tangled up, the letters cracked severely. There’s a paper cup of tea or something other than coffee by his elbow. His desk, speckled like the shell of a quail egg, is stained irreparably.

“Busy night?”

Jungkook hadn’t spoken a word, content in hanging back. Namjoon flips through worn papers clipped on a beaten clipboard. Jungkook sees a sticker of a burlesque dancer at the back, her huge breasts covered only by a sticker with tassels placed on her nipples. For a moment, Namjoon withholds his comments, running the end of a pen down the narrow columns.

“Not too much, more of the usual. I have a couple of drunkards… a shoplifter from a 7/11.”

“She here?”

Namjoon nods, canting his head to the side. The cell is not too far away, Jungkook doesn’t acknowledge the individuals inside. The heavy hand of his mentor shoves him forward, the burlesque dancer’s face seemed to be scratched out and in place of the clawed out face was a hastily drawn smile with crosses for eyes. Fitting. Jungkook doesn’t answer for himself, he usually doesn’t.

“Good - alright, I’ll see you tomorrow for the hearing, Jeon.”

Jungkook’s heart began to pummel against his ribcage, he was going to be alone. Used to working in a team, even if he was surrounded by paralegals or those more junior, Jungkook was never tasked to navigate a case on his own. That was the whole point of joining the attorney side of things rather than becoming a prosecutor. There’s more to fall back on, the blame is evened out. He doesn’t know why he’s so concerned, it’s just sorting bail for a petty speeding offence.

“Yes sir,” he answers.

Namjoon looks at him like he’s out of place. It’s a slow, deliberate observation from his pristine suit and clenched fists on his briefcase. Jungkook feels out of place in this weather-beaten concrete box in the heart of the busiest corner of Seoul. The pang in his chest was in the same frequency as the phrase I miss my office and complimentary coffee machine, I miss my million won view above Yeouido. He didn’t work his ass off in law school to be demoted to babysitting.

“The jailbird is waiting for you in that cell.”

Namjoon doesn’t point to the cell he talks of, sliding the clipboard to a slit by the file box. Jungkook awaits further instruction, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“What are you waiting for? Go do that pro bono stuff that you guys love parading around like charity.”

Pro bono is routine. All would-be associates have to go through it, and will continue to do so for as long as they are in the legal system. It’s a token of good will given freely, albeit done in haste - makes marketing yourself easier. It’s like a billboard that announces Hey, look at me! I haven’t fallen prey to corporate greed, I have compassion and empathy in spades! Commercial transactions were more… impersonal. Corporations hide behind complicated words, contracts, or agreements. Jungkook is familiar in that process, he is a cog in the giant wheel that holds the firm steady.

What he was here for wasn’t even for pro bono. In fact, he’d rather do that than spend a inordinate amount of time bailing you out for petty speeding offences.

In the corner of the shoebox station was a cell coated in a greasy film of grime, garnished with the usual suspects that deem committing crimes as recreational. He sees you with your legs outstretched on the bench, looking right at home. As he approached the metal bars, you barely give him any notice.

“Why are you in a cell?” He asked, trying (and failing) to bring out his writing instruments from the slots in his briefcase.

You shrugged, striding towards him and holding onto the metal bars loosely.

“They think I’d run away if they just sat me on one of those,” you replied, pointing casually to the row of occupied seats. An old man gives him a toothless grin, the bottle in his hand slanting to the floor, dripping amber coloured alcohol. He turns back to you, in time to swat your finger away from his lapel pin.

“Who are you? They usually send one of the other stiffs to come and get me,” you said.

Internally, Jungkook asks himself the same question with the addition of What are you doing here? He also doesn’t forget that you’ve grouped him as one of the ‘stiffs.’

“I’m here to fill out forms and pay your bail,” he said simply, tucking the latch of his briefcase closed.

He watches you sink back onto the bench, crossing your legs. For the first time, he takes in your ripped tights, worn denim shorts, and combat boots. Above, on your top half, is a muscle tee, its collar looking like was bitten by numerous critters. Probably an intentional design. You lay on your back, legs straightening, then scissoring. Jungkook scrapes the chair to slot by a small desk. There were several forms to fill before he could pay; he gets to work, crossing and circling with precision, writing small details, the ones he was told to note.

“Did my mother tell you to come here?”

He ignores your attempt at talking.

“Hello?”

He carries on ignoring you, dabbing the tip of his finger with his tongue in order to turn over the page. The print is small yet bearable, he bounces his leg rapidly.

“They must be thinking of promoting you then,” you said, pricking up his ears.

For a moment, he stops writing, his curiosity prodded sufficiently. Recently, he has been doing good, completing deadlines with ample time to spare. To date, he can’t think of anything he’s done to warrant this kind of treatment. Though he knew that your mother, a partner of the firm, favours him and spoke highly of him to your father - a leading prosecutor in the commercial branch.

When he meets you in the eye, you were smiling, amused.

“What?” He asked, crossing out an irrelevant option.

“They must be appointing you to executivelapdog.”

Jungkook finishes the form in no time, gritting his teeth, huffing his frustration out for good measure. You stand again, pushing your arms through the bars.

“You done?”

Jungkook wishes, but he retains his good habit of going over the pages one last time.

By Namjoon’s desk, Jungkook waits for his phonecall to finish. As the handset connects with the receiver, Namjoon takes his paper offering with all the necessary details for your freedom. He gets up, and Jungkook notes that he’s tall, built like what a policeman should be: sturdy and strong. The doors of the cell creak open in a tinny, grating scream. You step out, blowing a kiss to Namjoon, completed with a wink. His reply was a slam of the door shut, letting it judder in its frame.

“I’m not religious but I’m praying for you, Jeon,” he grumbles.

Jungkook nods, absentmindedly agreeing as he smoothes his tie down. He’s close to flouncing as he tries to catch up with you, but you’re out of the double doors, jogging towards a shiny red sport’s car with doors that open like a butterfly’s wing. He tries his best to look inside the snug interior but it was far too dark to make out any faces. Before you settle in, you wave back at him.

“See you next week!”

At that, he sighs and checks his phone for the nearest subway station.

-

Jungkookdoes see you the following week for a subsequent speeding offence.

Then the next.

Then one after that.

Then it becomes routine, Jungkook splitting his time between the forty-fifth floor of the law firm in Yeouido and Yongsan-gu police station. To date, it’s been three months of reckless driving and copious paperwork to wade through. It’s beginning to eat up on his actual job, so much so that he does feel like an executive lapdog.

One particular occasion, he happens to see you conversing with Namjoon sounding as amicable as one could manage given your uneasy relationship.

“You’ve got some nerve showing up here again, kid. This is your fifth time this month.”

Leaning over his desk, you say your name again, stating that that was your preference instead of a generic moniker. Jungkook knew by now that Namjoon really meant it as a term of endearment. He sees your black skinny jeans, snug on your legs, everything you wore was tight fitting, leaving nothing else to imagine. Blinking, he stops himself, rubbing that spot on the bridge of his nose that didn’t need scratching.

“If you don’t want to pay the fine or spend time here, be a better criminal, simple as. For example: body in a trunk, don’t speed. The same goes for stolen goods, and keep your registration updated.” Namjoon stated, tapping furiously on the keyboard of his clunky laptop.

“Seriously, tell me more,” you pouted.

Jungkook makes his presence known, the top button of his collar he threads through for space to breathe. Namjoon ushers you to sit back where you were and you do so without much protest, eyeing Jungkook instead. Having no more patience due to a gruelling hearing, Jungkook spent the day plastered to his chair, struggling to stay alert through all that droning. The lights overhead does little to ease the benign throb in hi temples. He starts flicking through the forms.

“Cover your tattoo, you don’t want it in the surveillance,” he mumbles, in lieu of a greeting.

Jungkook remembers seeing it peek through a slit of your shirt when it rode up. It was discrete on your lower back and set nicely on your skin, if he had to admit. However, there was no reason for him, an attorney, to be checking police surveillance. He was actually looking over Namjoon’s shoulder that time as he was rifling through the CCTV footage in the neighbourhood. And there it was: a jittered image of you leaning, or rather bending over the hood of a car, talking to someone. It was pure coincidence that his eyes were drawn to the ink, even if it was pixellated. Or so he tells himself.

“So you looked?”

He bites his tongue at his amateur slip.

There’s a smugness in your voice; to him, it translates into a subtle feeling, a static sheath on his spine. It’s not entirely unfamiliar, this receptiveness. He catches himself entertaining more than small talk, engaging in this back-and-forth conversation with you.

Although, it might have something to do with the fact that the argument you had after bailing you out for the fifth time ended up with the both of you fucking in the back of his car.

“I have to.”

(Again, he really doesn’t.)

Besides, that was one time. He wasn’t sure if it was a moment of weakness or whether it was fated.

“Haven’t you seen it enough times though? Makes me think that you’re checking for your own pleasure.”

It’s early in the morning, around 2:41AM and Jungkook had a 9AM meeting. As he swiftly amends the necessary details, he feels the heat of your stare. He hazards a glance, finds you resting your chin on your threaded fingers, grinning. He tries to think how your argument escalated into the backseat, with you gasping against his mouth, his cock snug in your tight heat, and your fingers, twined in his hair. The windows were fogged up to the point of public indecency. The memory of the heat of your bodies pressed together, he couldn’t shake off for days after.

“I take silence as a yes by the way - do you like it?”

Jungkook does what he tries to do best these days: he ignores you. The headache becomes more prominent, taunting him: you’ll only get three hours of sleep, Jeon.

“Got it filled in recently, hurt like a bitch.”

Any hope for a clear mind or sharp focus drains into the street; he sighs. You were too near, he sees the gold chain around your neck, a slim accessory that can be easily missed if you weren’t paying attention.

“I mean that it’s a mark of identification and did you not listen to anything I said?”

That was his poor attempt at tactical deflection. And, seeing through it, he hears you chuckle to yourself. He remembers that too, in high definition focus. Right after you were both a panting mess at the back of his car, there was a moment where you smiled into the kiss, the same, burst of giggles as if that wasn’t a transgression on both of your parts.

“I heard you loud and clear.”

Finally, the form gets filled. Namjoon gives a customary wave as Jungkook bows politely, checking the time to be at around 3AM. He was a walking husk, his tailored suit is rigid against his body, his muscles aching for the solace of his bed. You both make it to the doors, the balmy summer air hits like a moistened cloud, making him unnecessarily annoyed.

After a few joyous seconds of silence, Jungkook notices that’s it due to the fact that the sound of your boots had come to a stop. He turns around to your face being lit up by your phone.

“What are you doing?”

You rest your weight on one leg. He follows the way your body shifts, his hands twitching because it recalls how they felt under his touch.

“Calling Jimin to drive out front.”

Jungkook knows now that Jimin was the driver of that red car. A feeling snags in his stomach, he hesitates to call it jealousy so he strides to where he’s parked his car. Before he passes you, he hears a mumbled ‘thanks.’

“For what?”

Your phone was put away now, your arms were crossed, “for coming to bail me out. I almost got away with it but Namjoon made sure that more than one cop was tailing me.”

Sighing, Jungkook doesn’t understand why you would resort to a life like this. He also knows that you have a law degree yourself, to which he thinks is squandered on your flagrant violation of the law.

“You need to do something else with your life.”

You tilt your head, narrowing your eyes, “did my mother tell you nag me?”

“That’s not the point, I’m saying that you need to grow up.”

“Why have you got a stick up your ass, Jungkook-sshi?” You retort, “you don’t have to act so high and mighty as if you’re my parent’s representative, it’ll give you premature wrinkles.”

Instinctively, Jungkook rests his fingertips on his forehead. It’s ridiculous, this side-job that he’s roped himself into. The normal hours for an attorney was enough to put a strain but to be travelling back and forth the city like this is depleting his personal finances because he couldn’t drive on three hours of sleep every time Namjoon called. It’s even more ridiculous that a part of him is grateful hearing you laugh at his actions. It reassured him that he hadn’t crossed the line with his words.

“I don’t have any,” he mumbles, frantically searching for an available taxi.

“I think you do, or at least you will from chasing after me every week. You frown while you drive.”

“I might think that you’re landing yourself in jail on purpose,” he said, before he could put a stop to it.

Damn this exhaustion turning him into this unrefined mess. He feels his cheeks bloom with warmth, the status of his taxi shows that he has another two (excruciating) minutes to wait.

“Is that so?”

Jungkook looks on at the empty street, willing with all his might for his ride to materialise. He makes a noncommittal sound, an attempt to gloss over his earlier remarks in a polite parry.

“It’s late - I can drop you off at yours so you don’t have to wait here.”

“No thanks,” he replied, getting a hold of himself, rejecting the instinct of his heart fluttering by clearing his throat.

You hummed, “right. I forgot you have lawyer-y things to do.”

The street stays empty, Yongsan-gu Police Station glows like a neon brick behind you both. Jungkook’s eyes trail up and down, unintentionally surveying you. Apparently, he wasn’t subtle in the slightest as you cock your head to the side.

“Why? Are you scared that I’ll bite?”

Jungkook inhaled deeply, not quite letting it go in the same breath. You edge towards him, he snaps his gaze elsewhere, at the convenience store that read in a patchy GS25,at the disconnected electrical wire that sways in the direction of the wind.

“We still haven’t talked about it.”

He glares at you, “there’s nothing to talk about.”

“How come? Do you think that was totally normal and part and parcel of -”

Jungkook decides to cut you off but his saving grace was a sleek, red car pulling up in the space. The butterfly door flings up, the interior is dark but Jungkook knew who was at the driver’s seat. You look at each other awkwardly, the difference was that he feels warm all over, chewing his bottom lip, a habit he sustained ever since he was young. Breaking the silence, you give him one last glance before walking towards the open door. He watches you lower yourself, tucking your knees slightly higher.

The taxi he requested awaits him but your window lowers. You fold your arms over the side, tilting your head. For a moment, Jungkook is awestruck, unable to stop himself from slowing this strides. The music playing inside has a heavy bass, the wind flicks your hair onto your face as the streetlamp gifts sets your skin aglow.

“Night.”

He clenched his jaw, snapping out of it.

“Stay out of trouble.”

-

Weekdays were brutal but that made the liquor taste like nectar. Long hours suck Jungkook’s soul up and out into the ether, leaving him less invincible and more human than he’d like. Not exactly a figure lauded in the law firm. Everyone expects perfection, and, like any other cog in the wheel, he delivers. Then,he comes to a bar afterwards (if fortunate) and recharges.

Yoongi tilts his head back, letting the amber whiskey glide into his mouth. Jungkook doesn’t get too drunk, wanting to walk home and enjoy the evening breeze. Something that he hasn’t experienced in a while.

“I mean this with as much affection as possible: you look like shit.”

Jungkook burst out laughing, ending it a little manically to the point where the bartender eyes him with concern. Yoongi, as if his mouth is pulled by a string, grimaces.

“What’s up? This can’t be about contract clauses.”

Jungkookistired, he shakes his head, blowing out his cheeks, “if you were to tell me the minute I finished the Suneungthat I’d end up beinga lackey to a street racer, I’d have ripped my exam paper to shreds.”

All those night poring over legal text books, memorising cases, oh, and the grovelling.The forced smiles at interviews, the constant barrage of emails. Although he’s compensated handsomely, he has yet to see the benefits of his new mattress, meant to aid him in experiencing top quality sleep. He keeps the receipt by the bedside table, preparing to moot the warranty.

(He keeps a lot of receipts.)

Yoongi chuckles, waving for another glass. The gentle murmur of the bar adds to the warmth of the lights. Jungkook could sleep here, like the protagonist in those movies, slumped over the oak bar, lamenting a life he could have had if he had chosen a less demanding career. A life in the countryside perhaps, where he’d get married young and tend to his family. Nothing about police stations, street racing, or bail-out forms that stack to the skies.

And certainly nothing about your eyes, your smile, the softness of your skin, your laugh -

He slaps his cheek, drawing another grimace from Yoongi.

“Look - if you don’t want to keep bailing her out, just say so. You’re taking years off your life, you look older than me.”

Jungkook wishes it were that simple. He wishes he could stop thinking about the alcove in the back of his car, he wishes he was able to stop the reel from playing back, the sounds of sighs and gasps, the desperation for your bodies to find that release. He can still smell the scent on your neck, sweet enough to stick.

“I don’t know hyung, her parents might eject me.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes, “they can find someone else, Kook. It’s not the end of the world.”

Is it?

Would he really be content to bail himself out from coming to the police station every week and not see you?

These are questions he asks himself instead of pondering about depositions or contracts. That’s a fatal shift in perspective but he’s not thatconcerned. There are other firms, other responsibilities he could take.

Later, Yoongi was already swaying from the glasses of whiskey and Jungkook helps him into a taxi, making sure to sit him upright. He watches the taillights round the corner and begins his walk, his legs moving purposefully, covering distance.

-

Evening strolls were one of Jungkook’s ways of decompressing; besides, Seoul can be agreeable on foot. It’s not often that he can appreciate being an ant in its vast colony of workers.

The 7/11 he frequents is much the same, a neon fish tank in the murky expanse of the street. The drinks in the fridge greet him in uniform attendance. Other aisles hold former treasures, the grill is steaming sweet potatoes over coal. He thinks that the slushy dispenser looks pitiful when it’s not swarmed. Making a grab for a bottle of water, he chugs it with the enthusiasm of a relay racer in high school, his throat expanding as he grunts.

Outside, the air isn’t as suffocating, the alcohol finally drained out of his system following three visits to the toilet in the store. As his jacket is slung over his shoulder, he could be an office worker or an interviewee. The possibility of his role is further anonymised by other passers-by, their heads down, eyes to their phone screens. Here, Jungkook is simply a person.

Before he walks onto the larger street, a bright orange vehicle enters his peripheries. Feigning ignorance, he keeps walking, laughably lengthening his strides as if he could out pace the rumbling Mustang. In a comfortable crawl, much to his embarrassment, the window eventually recedes and despite him not stooping down to see, he knew who the driver was.

“Quick - get in!”

His blood thickens into a frozen moat, “what? Why?”

He succumbs to a stop, seeing you framed in the window waving frantically, beckoning him into your car.

“Just get in!”

“Fucks sake,” he groans.

At your insistence, he dives into the front seat as you manoeuvre into a tight corner, hands smoothing over the wheel as the engine revs obnoxiously loud for this part of the city. You accelerate and his back gets pressed to the seat, his organs depleting at the sudden change. The car peels into the road and you had the audacity to drive with one hand on the steering wheel while his own scrabbles for something to hold. He wrings his seatbelt, his heart lurching as the lights stretch out into neon streaks.

“Why did I have to get in so quickly?”

He doesn’t even recognise his own voice.

You take a moment to answer, guiding the hefty car in full pelt along the highway. He doesn’t even have the opportunity to comprehend Banpo Bridge and its beautiful light show because it’s a mess of colours. He was glad that he wasn’t drunk anymore.

“Didn’t want the car behind to wait.”

“What?”

He snaps his head back, taking into account the distance being covered. He could practically sense the blue and red lights of the police car emerging from the traffic and experience Namjoon’s rage, ready to use the clipboard as a weapon. Under no circumstances should he be found in this car, going at this speed, with you.

“Yeah,” you said, glancing at him briefly, smiling at his shell-shocked state. Moving his fingers, they settle by his side, his hands moulding on the leather of the seat.

“I’m really glad that this is funny to you.”

You purse your lips as if to appease, “it really is, thank you.”

Jungkook settles in the calm, and while fearful of the chase, he lets himself take in the details of your car. The interior is a garish orange with chrome accents. In his opinion, it’s a block of taffy.

“Do you have any idea how fast you’re going?”

He eyes the neon dashboard, gulping at the needle skewing too far into the higher numbers.

“Of course I do, but I’m not as obsessed with it as Namjoon.”

The engine purrs into full throttle, Jungkook’s nails dig into the seat even harder. You clear the bridge onto the highway, dodging other cars. His organs have not returned to their rightful place, he knows because he thinks he can actually feel the outline of his spleen against his back.

“Why do you keep doing this?”

He understands that the question has the potential of becoming accusatory but he doesn’t have the time to err on the side of caution when you were tearing up the streets. The car decelerates before you swerve it onto a wide shoulder, expertly gliding along the asphalt.

“Why do you practice law?”

Jungkook lets out a frustrated sigh, “I asked you a question.”

“Just answer mine.”

Your reply comes with a deliberate foot on the gas and the slip of a curse from him as he tries to hold onto the sides without losing his grip. Was this a good time to depart from his secular beliefs?

“I like it,” he manages, his palms going all sweaty.

“Then I’m the same.”

It’s an underwhelming response. Yet he doesn’t have time to contest because you rammed your foot down, the needle bouncing sideways in response. Jungkook thinks of a litany of phrases, chanting them loudly in his mind. Whatever Higher Being above must have somemercy on him at this instance, from what he knows, religion can never be too overly subscribed. You swerve again,risking another offence and risking hislife in tandem.

“Seriously?”

(It’s not clear whether that was in reply to your answer or your current actions.)

“Mhm.”

“Then why go to law school?”

He’s breathing as if there’s an imaginary paper bag in front of his mouth. He doesn’t do well with speed. He doesn’t do well being around youto be frank. His heart races erratically, he recalls flashes of touch, sighs, and the fog of pleasure that rolled over you both, steaming up the interior of his Lexus.

“Careful - I might think that you want to get to know me.”

Maybe Jungkook does. Granted, the order of things were unconventional. It’s not everyday that fucking came beforecourting for him. But he’s done this for long enough, by that he means bailed you out enough times at the request of your parents for your conversations to be injected with something other than japes. So yes, he isedging the territory of courting, in the form of smuggling questions in offhanded remarks.

Thankfully, you slowed. And because Jungkook was raised to be reverent, he thinks -

Thank you God that I don’t believe in.

In a matter of minutes, you enter a basement parking that suspiciously looks like the one in his building. It’s even got the same dull grey colour, like the person responsible during its inception chose with their eyes closed as they ran their finger down the swatches. Importantly, it had the very same reflective signs and array of cars, unintentionally lined in their achromatic finishes. Black, grey, and silver. Jungkook could discern his own car - a Mercedes this time - tucked in the corner by the column that read ‘B7.’

“You…”

You turn to him, your necklace glinting from the low light, “you live here, right?”

He lets out the breath he’s been keeping hostage and pushes his hair back, his hand coming away a little damp. Astoundingly, you were unaffected reclining on your seat, waiting. Though, he had to concede that he got home in record time. The working part of his mind excitedly reminds him that he might be allowed to finish that episode of Street Dance Girls Fighter. Over the past week and a half,he’s been apportioning into measly fifteen minute stretches.

“Cat got your tongue?”

“Uh…”

You lift your shoulder, “if you haven’t got anything else to say apart from ‘uh,’ I guess I’ll see you then?”

Jungkook blinks at the fact that all his mind could come up with was a singular phrase of She’s so cool. He shakes his head, lifting the handle and stepping out. His legs are liquid, his bones taking their sweet time to re-form. Not wanting to make it obvious, he waits for you to drive off but your window retreats and this time, he stoops. The twinkle in your eye doesn’t fade, he thinks it’s his first time seeing it, but really, he’s always paid attention. He opens his mouth and you pre-empt it.

“I know - stay out of trouble.”

He waves that off, “I was gonna say Thanks.”

You snort and immediately raise the window. The car ejects exhaust, the orange exterior glows under the lights that border the ceiling. He leans back and watches you drive off.

And if Jungkook wasn’t so keen on suppressing it, he might have admitted that he walked into the elevator with a smile plastered to his face.

-

A minor (but significant) caveat of being bewitched by you in your Mustang that evening was that it was transient.

A consequence of all good things, Jungkook notes.

He groans at the sound of his phone piercing the tranquility of sleep. Blindly, he shoots his hand out, patting the expanse of his bed. He doesn’t even have to know who it was, mumbling a garbled greeting.

“Hello?”

“Jeon.”

“Mhm.”

It’s not even the fact that he now has staggered sleep, nor the fact that his eyes are plastered together from the crystals from his tear ducts. It’s the fact that he’s accepted these moonlight summons to the police station for sheets of paper any other legal assistant can do. Last week, he had a meeting with your mother, finding himself nodding at her while she explained her disapproval of your unruly ways. The call of justice managed to lure him into a false sense of duty. He squints at the bedside clock. Bright, red digital font informs him that it’s 3:39AM.

“You know why I’m calling,” Namjoon starts.

Jungkook could hear the usual clamour in the background, the well-timed drunken shouts, fights that broil but are abated. He squeezes his eyes shut and sees your silhouette on the spare seat, he forms the shape of your combat boots, outlines your jeans, the looseness of your top.

“Alright. I’ll be there in fifteen.”

He doesn’t even wait to say goodbye before hanging up. Raising himself to sit, he cricks his neck, mashing his shoulders which are permanently knotted due to burning the midnight oil these past months. Like a hypnotised duckling, he trails around his apartment taking what’s crucial (phone, cards, keys), beelining to the bathroom to brush his teeth, then splash his face with cold water.

In the mirror, he reprimands himself.

Who are you right now and what are you doing?

A tired version of him stares back.

Regrettably, he slinks off, checking his phone. His calendar is dotted with commitments in the shape of meetings, endless re-drafting of contract clauses, more meetings. These take up twelve to sixteen hours of his day, the rest, he devotes to bailing you out. It’s increasingly apparent that he’s putting up with more than what he initially signed up to do.

And for what?

The good graces of your mother and father?

The basement parking of his apartment building is devoid of activity. Anyone residing here operated on normal working hours, out from 7AM and back by 8PM. Jungkook yearns for that.

In the dark, he remembers that he forgot his pen so he grips the handle of the glove compartment. It hisses open, spewing out a crumpled bag of what looked like coffee beans. Attached was a paper tag populated by a neat, legible script.

To keep you awake, or whatever.

Jungkook was perplexed at the way his heart began to hammer against his ribs. He must be going mad to get flustered over Ethiopian coffee beans at 4AM in the morning. Shoving it back in and resuming his initial search, he comes up with a battered fountain pen hoping that there was ink left.

-

In a dream-like state, he walks into the police station, wincing at the luminosity of the cubed lighting. Namjoon doesn’t even acknowledge him anymore, taking to point to wherever you are.

But the alarming thing wasn’t the fact that two people were brawling or that someone was threatening to urinate on the floor. His stomach swoops at the sight of you pressing a wet cloth to your temple, parts of it shaded in pink.

A part of him he allows to worry whether you’re okay.

You don’t notice him yet, so he strides quickly, dropping to his knees and startling you. Maybe he was acting, maybe it was genuine concern, but the hard surface of the floor is where he finds himself, realising in the same second that he was probably too far gone. He lifts his hand, gently taking your chin so he can tilt it up. Abruptly, you lean back, clutching the ragged towel.

“Get off me.”

Jungkook huffs, standing up, “sorry for wanting to make sure nothing’s wrong.”

“It’s nothing.”

His eyes linger on the scratch on your cheek.

“Your head is bleeding and you have a gash on your cheek, is that nothing to you?”

“It was a stupid scrape, I underestimated the corner.”

Jungkook scrapes a chair nearby and swipes the forms already laid out by the spare seat next to you. He produces the pen he kept in the pocket of his jacket and scribbles the details. The toe of your boot nudges his shoe, he notes the bare skin of your leg as you were wearing denim shorts this time.

“You didn’t have to come,” you said, flourishing it with a scrunch your nose. A sick part of him translated that as cute.

“I’m missing the part where that’s an option for me,” he bites back, checking boxes, circling squares, writing out dates and going over them twice. A few seconds drag on, Jungkook sighs exasperatedly, scribbling out his mistake. It seems that his desire for proximity was superseded by the throbbing vein on his temple, pulsing at the frequency of I need sleep - I need sleep - I. Need. Sleep.

“Then stop helping me out,” you replied, a certain sharpness to your tone.

Sleep-deprivation releases a different beast in him, one that he can’t halt. He flips the page, scans the sentences as if he has never seen them before.

“You’re pro bono, I do this for free to advance my own selfish agenda. You’re just a line on my resumé.”

(A lie).

When he looks up, you had wiped the blood on your face, wringing out the towel fitfully.

“I told you that you didn’t have to come. They would have sent another person.”

Jungkook sighs, the email he received a couple of days back registers in his subconscious.

“You’ll be dealt with by another person anyway. I have a big case next month.”

“Who?” You asked, your tone signalling a retreat.

“Choi.”

The sole of your boot collides with the side of the chair, Namjoon shoots a disapproving look in your direction, which also includes him.

“Fuck. He’s such an ass.”

“Think he’s fine. Maybe he’ll be the one to straighten you out.”

Jungkook meets your gaze, absorbs the way you press your lips into a line. There are more boxes to fill out, he does them swiftly. He looks for signs of banter but you weren’t launching witty replies at him. Changing tactics, he pretends to review the sheets even though he knows the routine by now.

“Why is this so important to you anyway?”

“What’s it to you, stiff?”

He hasn’t heard that in a while. In a split-second decision, he lets his frustration colour his actions.

“Fine, if you’re gonna talk to me like that, good luck getting yourself bailed out.”

You slump on your seat, crossing your arms. Jungkook catches your wince.

“Fine. I don’t need you anyway.”

He scoffs, “good. I can finally get some rest.”

Jungkookwanted to leave, he really did. He had a ton of paperwork to wade through for a deposition and two affidavits to draft by 11AM. He wanted to do them, craving the normalcy and banality of routine. He missed the sting in his eyes as he scanned documents that read like the fine print for reams and reams, he missed being a real lawyer.

This police station, planted rather inconveniently in the busiest district of Seoul, demands parking pay for every half hour that wasn’t even worth a second of his time. Namjoon’s watchful gaze heats up his back like no other while you sit on the battered chair, clicking your heels like a lonesome Dorothy without her Toto. The responsibility makes his wooden legs move, his knees unlocking mechanically.

It’s only a couple of steps and he’ll be past the automatic doors with bubbled decals of ‘Yongsan-gu Police Station.’

In this journey, he passes the lolling bodies of drunkards, fretting first-offenders, then a suspicious looking loner with an overgrown beard and ash-streaked face.

Only a couple more steps.

But he stops.

It’s a categorical fact that he never makes it past the threshold without you by his side at the end of the night.

Goddamnit.

“Back so soon?”

Jungkook hands the stack of forms to the neighbouring officer, who receives it without much fuss. Namjoon doesn’t even hold back his smile as you both make it past the automatic doors.

“You just don’t know when to quit, do you?”

For the the first time, he manages to bring out a smile from you. He walks towards his car and you follow.

And you manage to return the favour.

“Why should I when you’re always here to bail me out?”

He hides his twitchy grin behind an absentminded brush of his top lip. The doors unlock, your phone is nowhere to be seen. Jungkook guesses that there won’t be any shiny red cars pulling up on the road.

“Do you think I enjoy coming here between 3AM and 4AM every other week?”

There isn’t anything malicious in his tone. It’s back to this easy rhythm you had built.

“Why did you come back then?”

He finished off the distance, taking a couple more seconds than normal because Mercedes’ fatal flaw (amongst other things) are its bias for longer snouts. Under the streetlamp, he scrutinises your injuries as if he could offer more than a superficial examination.

“Never mind, and come here - let me see that.”

You swat his hand away, irritated at his clumsy shot at resolution. He tries instead by opening your side of the door for you.

“Get in.”

“Why?”

Jungkook sighs, “don’t want the car behind to wait.”

You rolled your eyes, sliding down to your seat. He doesn’t move until he sees you snap the buckle in place.

Once on the road, Jungkook maintains a safe speed, following every rule and direction. You don’t assume the role of a backseat driver, allowing him to cruise in peace. He keeps the radio off and the concrete highways are lit up due to the muted lights of the interior. It’s understated, unlike your own orange taffy Mustang. He catches you staring at the glove compartment.

“I got it.”

You jolt, brushing it away, “finally.”

It’s hard not to smile; he chews on his bottom lip instead.

“How’d you smuggle that in?”

In the corner of his eyes, you shift, hands on your lap, “you’re the quite the zombie. You get this thing where your eyes go all wide when you’re focused. You don’t see much else. Was easy to sneak it in.”

Jungkook had dropped you off a couple of times in a sleep-deprived haze, you could have sneaked in a crowbar or a live animal, he’d be none the wiser.

The road gives way to familiar streets, the traffic has subsided offering little to no resistance. He drives up the curving road towards the emergency room entrance. You raise yourself up, nearly pressing your face against the window. It’s a neon tinged with red. There’s more activity, people in scrubs engaged in endless chatter.

“I told you that I’m fine.”

He parks in a vacant bay, switching off the engine. He surprises himself by reaching for you again, conscientiously missing the graze on your temple.

“You never said that. You said ‘get off me.’”

You don’t move away this time.

“Are you doing this to wipe your conscience,” you replied, staring at him intently. He feels his cheeks warm up from your undivided attention. Lifting his hand away, he feels strangely more exposed here as opposed to the glare of the police station. He exhales through his nose, grabbing his phone and keys, preparing to get out.

“Something like that.”

-

Jungkook wasn’t meant to get under your skin.

Jungkook was one of the stiffs.One who swans about in the forty-fifth floor of some tall skyscraper in Yeouido, rubbing shoulders with the legal elite.

If anything, he was just one of your mother’s tools at her disposal. And your father’s, indirectly.

You never thought you’d lose sleep over a fleeting tryst but that July evening meant more to you than you had anticipated (and that said a lot). That neverhappens. Arguments have their ends, but resolution doesn’t usually occur in the manner of handprints on the glass and gasping kisses contained in the cramped back seat of a mid-tier company car. You think that Jungkook was as stunned as you were, preferring to devolve into your superficial banter of half-teasing and mismatched gripes. Still, it would be criminal not to admit that the subsequent charges thereafter mighthave crept towards being deliberate, which, again, says a lot.

Jimin and Taehyung had never seen you surrender so effortlessly at the hands of the law enforcement, much to scowl of Namjoon. And if they had puzzled out your behaviour, they are either waiting for the right moment to harvest comedic fodder or are supportive friends.

It’s never the latter.

“It’s only going to take forty-five minutes,” the MRI technologist says to you as she reviews your position on the narrow stretcher-contraption. As a final step, she stretches a velcro band over your forehead restricting you further. The temporary hospital gown is airy, like wearing a piece of paper. Jungkook looks on, remaining as near as he could. Instinctively, you bite your tongue as the mouth of the MRI machine awaits to devour you. This wasn’t needed, you sustained a scratch. Surely, bodies were meant to withstand a little more.

“I’m right here.”

Jungkook leans over you, his brown eyes softened by the white hues of the room. You realise that you’re fidgeting your feet, curling and uncurling your toes. A nervous habit. You don’t get to reply as you’re abruptly shuttled into the gaping mouth of the MRI, the tight cylinder coming to life in static whirrs and what sounded like a trapped orchestra experiencing headwind.

“It’s okay,” Jungkook said from far off.

You hum to indicate you’re fine but the curious thing is that you feel a pair of hands enclose over your sock-covered feet (courtesy of the emergency room upon seeing your mesh tights and shivering stature). Jungkook’s hands were large and radiated enough warmth to introduce a sort of calm. It’s like that for the entire duration, Jungkook squeezing your feet together when he could sense you tensing up.

Throughout, you think that the sound of your heartbeat overtook the banging and the clanging of the machine’s symphony.

-

Jungkook experiences a shift.

On red alert, he half expects you to have him camp out of the police station for the next week but he doesn’t get a single call. His worries are tainted with irrationality, he lays awake staring at the ceiling of his bedroom in the dark. It’s an unnerving doldrum.

Is she mad at me?

He reasons with himself, like any good litigator would, trying to make sense of it all.

You should be glad that you’re getting a full night’s sleep for once.

His room is cold, he gets up, switches on the floor heating, then snuggles back in bed. His eyes close, he tries to adopt those sleeping techniques. First, comes the counting of sheep, but the addition of bleating by his overactive imagination throws him off. Next, he thinks he’s a piece of driftwood, carried by the lull of waves. It works for a while until he discovers that he can in fact make himself sea-sick. Finally, he comes up with a tried and true method, as perennial as time.

Contracts. Think of contracts. Clauses, the re-drafting of clauses, formatting and tweaking non-disclosure agreements, appendices. Lots and lots of fine details, like numbering, letters instead of Roman numerals.

The radio silence overpowers that.

Jungkook is awake and thinking of you.

He shoves his face onto his pillow, exhaling his frustration into the fibres. It might not be the end of the world but it sure seemed like it. His phone had been so quiet that he thought he’d turned it off. Snug in his hand, the screen lights up. No new notifications and no calls from Yongsan-gu Police Station.

Slipping it back under his pillow, Jungkook is desolate, if not, inconsolable.

-

“So he’s coming? For real?”

Jimin sits on the chair all wrong, like a plank, so there’s a triangular space offered by how straight his back is.

“Yeah,” you replied, taking the opportunity to slot your legs through, taking over two seats.

“Don’t get too comfortable,” Namjoon said from across the room, sporting his usual frown.

You crane your head, smiling at him, “just say that you missed me.”

Jimin laughs, bowing his body like a cat, “don’t piss him off.”

It’s an unusual night given that Jimin is with you. The district police stations’ protocol was to split your team up while you all waited for bail. Underpinned by several motivations, you figured out eventually that to have you, Jimin, and Taehyung in one station was deemed as a ‘headache’ or a ‘maelstrom’ or, more affectionately, a ‘contained disaster.’ Police officers would rather tear out their hair than deal with the three of your never ending comments, request for better cell conditions, and petition for in-house entertainment.

“He seriously hasn’t quit yet? It’s been more than a couple of months.”

“He just doesn’t give up,” you said, finding it a little easier to smile these days at the mention of Jungkook or his tenacity.

Yongsan-gu Police Station has become somewhat of a second home to you these past few months. Racing around the city has developed into a more cumbersome pursuit, landing you here every other week. Jungkook, as dutiful as you would expect him to be, shows up without fail.

After your previous scrape, largely because of misjudging a corner, you decided to notget caught in order to nurse your woulds - literally and figuratively. You could handle being carted off to the station due to speeding offences, but not all bruised up like that. For the past week, you showed off by passing the border into Ilsan where you complied with every speed limit in the vicinity. Namjoon pulled away, content that you might be changing your ways, albiet in a selective manner. Out of Seoul, you weren’t his problem anyway.

“You’re doing this on purpose! You’re not someone who gets caught thisoften, Miss Blink-And-You’ll-Miss-Her.”

Jimin’s rational extrapolation threatens to make you laugh out of nervousness. You might have eased off on the gas despite his exasperated comments of Floor it! What are you doing! He pokes your side and you try to pinch his ribs, to no avail as he bends away, his blonde hair fanning on his forehead. The seats squeak to an annoying pitch. Namjoon slams his clipboard to instigate order, jolting the surrounding people, who sat up straighter, ruffling their feathers in submission.

“It’s been hard! They’ve been tailing me before I even hit fifty. How is that fair?”

Jimin looks at you with a kind of skepticism that you could only recall from childhood. Times when your mother tutted to no end after discovering that you stepped out of line.

“What’s fair is that you should stop doing this and ask him to hang out or something.”

A shadow looms over you suddenly, Namjoon’s stern expression is completed with a hand to his hips. There was a wad of forms, likely for Jungkook to handle later, in his left hand.

“You don’t seem to be following any of my advice.”

“What? Your whole ‘Follow the rules while breaking the law’ advice? Please tell me more.”

Jimin covers his face with his hands, laughing into his palm. You purse your lips, until a familiar silhouette enters through the double doors. Still in his suit, Jungkook strides in, his eyes landing on your contorted body, as you’re half perching on the chair like a gargoyle on the face of Notre Dame. Immediately, unfold and sit properly while Jimin guffaws and shoves at your shoulder. Namjoon catches your panicked factory reset and waves Jungkook over.

“Jeon! Come here,” he said, looking at you and Jimin accusingly, “I don’t get paid enough for this.”

Heat rises to your cheeks, you press your back against the plastic of the chair. Jimin jitters next to you, humming to goad.

Jungkook stops right in front, doing his routine of scraping a spare seat and grabbing the necessary forms to fill out. He produces a pen from the inner pocket and gives you a strained smile. You say nothing yet, suffering under Jimin’s intense scrutiny. It’s like that for a few torturous minutes until -

“Glad to see that you’re not hurt this time.”

Jimin bursts into unprompted giggles, you elbow him, nicking his side. He jumps to a vacant seat as Jungkook clears his throat. Your brain is in glorious technicolour, making reference to the fact that Jungkook is glad to see you not being hurt. Which obviously means that he’s glad to see you, period.

“Jimin,” he said.

You noticed that Jungkook’s filling out two forms simultaneously.

“Jungkook-sshi.”

More silence. You couldn’t even reply, too much time had elapsed. Namjoon observes your sudden change in demeanour, cocking his head to the side. You stay quiet for the rest of the time, simmering under the heat of your own paranoia. Jungkook gives you his attention sparingly, his eyes following your fidgeting. You’ve come to know that he has an unconscious habit of chewing on his bottom lip, making the mole beneath obvious.

-

With summer in full swing, the evening air is pleasant and appeased by an echo of the breeze. Jimin walks alongside you, thumbing down his phone. In the space of where your car was supposed to be was Jungkook’s own. Frantic, you’re met with his deadpan reply.

“It’s been towed.”

“Fuck,” you sighed.

Jimin is by the end of the street, rushing towards a matte-black car, its taillights flashing in red. You followed him, stopping dead in your tracks when you realised something amiss.

“What is this?”

The door opens as Jimin slides in, you bend down and see Taehyung’s wide smile, his face lit up by the dashboard. He stares at you with a frown.

“Can you please not talk to my Porsche like that? I just got her serviced and she’s been through a lot, they’ve been poking her for hours.”

When you make another attempt to speak, Taehyung interrupts you with a raise of his hand and a “Please.”

Your jaw drops at the predicament, “there’s only twoseats?”

Jimin nods, “yeah, good to know that your eyesight’s okay.”

You sneak a glance behind, Jungkook was on his phone, although he was walking towards your direction given that you hadn’t slid into a car that had no room for you at all.

“Just trying to help, you know, ‘speed’ things along,” Taehyung grins. You groaned, tempted to haul Jimin out as he was fiddling with the settings, testing out the lights. Instead, you find yourself rallying the most colourful words you could manage -

“You assho-”

“Aren’t you getting dropped off?”

Jungkook appears on time, taking in the situation, specifically how Taehyung revs the engine on purpose.

“Might have to take a taxi,” you muttered, crossing your arms and slamming Jimin’s door shut. The window rolls down, he folds himself over the frame, curiously scoping the way you’re stock still.

“’S fine. I’ll drive you,” Jungkook said, offhandedly.

Jimin grins, waving in turn, “yeah, Mr. Jeon Jungkook can drive you, right?”

It takes all of your strength not to stick your tongue out in a childish display of frustration. Moments later, you and Jungkook watch as Taehyung drives off with Jimin in tow, the silence filtering back as the engine rumbles off into the distance.

-

Seoul glitters from the highway as Jungkook drives over a bridge. You keep your eyes straight ahead, feeling all sorts of things that made you finicky. You check his speed (tame), note that the interior of his car is finished with dashes of leather (understated luxury), and the strips of light following the smooth curves of the design (passé).

Very business like, very Jungkook altogether.

“You’ve been behaving.”

You can tell he’s cringing at his choice of words from the way his tone tails off in the end, punctuated by the clearing of his throat. Comfortable in these parameters, you run your fingertip over the grainy leather atop the dashboard.

“Aw, you missed me that much?”

Allowing yourself to look, he shrugs, driving with one hand as he creeps into more narrower roads.

“No. Actually, it felt like I was on vacation.”

You hum, “glad to have allowed that.”

He drives past electrical poles that slant oddly, 7/11’s and GS25’s on every other street. It’s a typical weekday evening, not even well into early dawn.

“Tell me something, ‘cause I’m curious as to why you were caught doing something so easily avoidable. I had to outline that you were running reds and not wearing a seatbelt?”

You resort to keeping quiet, debating on whether you should let it out. Jungkook waits, climbing up an incline.

Fuck it.

“‘Cause I wanted to see you,” you mumbled, crossing your arms over your chest, fixating on the ivy waterfalls falling over grimy concrete walls outside.

“What? No, I’m being serious, I thought you were improving, well, if street racing wasn’t illegal -”

“Semantics,” you cut in, defending your love for the activity. Jungkook inhales sharply, as if to gather himself. He knits his brows, placing both hands on the steering wheel. You could tell that your building was near, he’s slowed to a speed appropriate for residential areas.

“Jungkook…”

The basement parking submerges the interior of his car in total darkness before your eyes adjust. He slots it in a vacant bay, the engine purrs as he reversed into the spot with practiced ease.

“So the reason why you’ve purposefully landed yourself in the police station is because you wanted to see me?”

The engine remains the only noise.

“Is that so hard to believe?” You asked, trailing your gaze along his features, a dangerous feat that taints the air, making it heavy, pressing up on your chest. You’re like a wound up coil, ready to spring. Jungkook switches off the engine, washing the interior in this pressure that continues to build. You slump back on the seat, staring at the concrete column, badly painted so that the letter ‘B’ for ‘basement’ was wonky. He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t even move.

“That’s what I said,” you huffed, “I got caught on purpose because I wanted to see you.”

Take the damn hint, Jeon.

(Jungkook doesn’t.)

“But you have my number, you could have called or something,” he mumbled.

You scoffed, “and say what?”

He begins this round of flustered laughter, shaking his head and tilting his head upwards, “I don’t -”

You shift so that you’re leaning over the centre console, “the only way I could see you this time is to get arrested. I made it happen because I wanted to see you, get it?”

And because he doesn’t say anything else, you make it a point to voice out more.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about that night.”

He clenches his jaw, tapping on a space on the side of his door, “stop that.”

“Stop that.”

“Stop what.”

“Whatever you’re doing.”

You don’t back down because even in the dark, you can make out a rosy bloom on his cheeks, “and what am Idoing?”

Jungkook emits another nervous laugh, “it was onenight.”

Faltering a little, you bear the excruciating silence, sniffing at his reply.

“I just -” he stars, you turn so that you could see him chewing on his bottom lip again, “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it either and I don’t know what to do about it, ah fuck, I’m must be crazy for saying this out loud.”

Things go so quiet that you think that he can hear how your heart is about to burst out of your ribcage.

“Really?” You asked, pulling forward. Jungkook doesn’t dive away from you this time.

“Yeah,” he admits.

And you’re both staring now, his gaze on your lips in the most unsubtle way possible. It doesn’t take a mind reader to know why neither of you moved.

But Jungkook suddenly surges forward, the curl of his finger and the pad of his thumb securing themselves on your chin. He tilts your head up and you inhale a shuddering breath, the distance shrinking close enough to sense the fan of his breath on your lips.

The initial contact sends a shiver along your spine, it’s slow and your mouths meet in a singular gasp over the centre. Jungkook’s hand slides to go over the nape of your neck, your body arching towards him as he slips his tongue from the part of your lips. You feel his other hand on your side, you go all lightheaded for a moment, allowing yourself to fall into the kiss, feeling his smile against your lips as you moaned softly.

“Just so you know, I don’t like you thatmuch,” you prefaced, in between pants. He chuckles, kissing you gently, offering a soothing hand on your back.

“Good, I don’t like you thatmuch either,” he whispered, his thumb running over your cheekbone.

“And -”

His fingers unbuttoning your shorts might have contributed to the slight brain fog. You shove your denim shorts down, left in your underwear. It was hard to focus on anything other than the physical, but you wade through it, wrapping your arms around his neck, getting close, closer.

“What - ”

“I don’t do that with just anyone,” you said, your skin growing hotter under Jungkook’s attention, biting his lip and sucking on it till you drew out that groan that made your thighs squeeze together in anticipation.

“Okay, fine. Good to know - ah, shit,” he breathes, clearly distracted by how you were clambering to his side, right over the console onto his lap. You grasp his chin to reel his attention in, grinding experimentally, your knees at his waist.

“I mean it.”

He leans forward, kissing you. It’s a cramped setting, not far off from that night when you were half tussling in the back of his Lexus, steaming up the windows, venting out an argument that you couldn’t remember what it was about in the first place.

“I know.”

You kiss insistently, fisting his shirt as he groans at the way you’re grinding over the front of his trousers, whimpering at the friction. You try to spread your thighs wider at the feel of his hard cock under the ridges of his clothing; it doesn’t help that every sense is heightened, the pressure of his hands framing your hips, the softness of his lips, the breathy sighs as you ground your soaked core over his crotch. The windows are already steaming up, you’re grasping at the headrest while Jungkook threads his fingers through your hair, exposing your neck.

“Is this a bad idea? This is a bad idea, right?” You babbled, panting at the way his mouth slides slow along your pulse, his tongue laving at a spot by your jaw that had you shivering.

“It’s a bad idea, yeah,” he concedes, continuing to drag his mouth up along your jugular, nipping on occasion, his other hand making sure that the rhythm of your hips doesn’t go as off-kilter as how you feel.

“Yeah,” you sighed, jerking in response as he sucks on your neck, hard enough for you to tremble. He comes up, brushing his mouth along yours, you slip your hand over his front, the rush of his shirt under your touch echoes in the space. Jungkook’s muscles are firm and you splay your hand on his chest, clumsily unbuttoning his shirt. He mutters your name, in spite of your kisses, t

I Can Do This All Night (If You Wanted To). (m) | ONE - SHOT | JEON JUNGKOOK, 6.2 k 

Pairing:Jungkook x Reader 

Summary:Jungkook is working late at the office. Usually, he stays until all remaining tasks are completed but with you perched on his desk as a welcomed distraction from the glare of the monitors and its repetitive work, he might just get off early. 

Warnings/Tags: RATED M (18+) for language; smut (fem-reader; grinding; nipple play, unprotected sex, penetrative sex; multiple orgasms); Jeon Jungkook is whippedhere (and he lowkey has a praise kink lmao); fluff- the reader is a tsundere lmao, you’ll see why; they have so much love for each other, I actually cannot look at this fic wow; Jungkook is big in all respects (sdgljkl) buthe’s also a big softie (T__T) so his love language is blushing profusely while being grilled about how whipped he is; so really, they’re fluffy andfilthy together lmao; I used a lot of parenthesis in the previous one shot so I shall continue the trend; - non-idol!AU - Lawyer/Attorney!Jungkook x Street Racer! Reader

=====

Pls thank user jungkook.97 - by this I specifically mean liking the white squares that he posted as part of his insta grid if you haven’t already lmao 

You don’t have to read ‘Blink And You’ll Miss It’ to read this btw! This is just a regular pwp - ‘porn with pheelings’ lmao 

- 

The thing about affidavits is that they are tedious by nature and if Jungkook isn’t careful, he can miss something small that will affect the entire sequence of information ahead. 

It’s late, he’s on a tight deadline but there’s an impediment. 

But it’s not like the other impediments he’s faced before. 

This time around, it’s in the form of the rather tempting confrontation of you perched comfortably atop his desk. You don’t obscure his monitors entirely but he admits that his otherwise austere office now has a heavenly break from the monotony of the documents he has to sift through. It seems that since that fateful confession in the dingy parking lot, in the confines of his car, his life appears to be marginally better. The nights aren’t so long and his bed isn’t so vast anymore. 

But some things remain the same, like whenever you you’re driving his eyes are on the dashboard and his fingers are wound tight around his seatbelt.

Through this, he realises that he’s been reading the same sentence thrice, given that you’re making a job out of swaying his swivel chair to and fro. Seoul blinks in the background, reflected on the inactive screens flanking the main one. A smile decorates your face, it’s small and subtle, but he’s come to know that as devious. 

One of the janitors traverses the hallway facing his office, his silhouette clear through the blinds. It makes Jungkook aware that he’s not the only one on the floor and that others are burning the midnight oil. 

You lean back slightly, tugging the chair towards you so that effectively, he’s slotted between your legs. 

He says your name in a quiet warning, tame to anyone listening. 

“What?” 

Jungkook sighs, not quite knowing what to say. Never before has he had trouble refocusing. That was one of the traits he managed to hone in the years he spent held hostage by reams of legal documents and text. If found in a state of flow, the building could be burning and he wouldn’t even know unless made aware by another. And yet, this burning building was swiftly replaced by you: a coquettish distraction that, truthfully, he could never miss, not even if he tried. 

“Let’s go, you’re tired,” you supplied, casting your eyes at him, a slow evaluation that he clings to, “I’ll drive.”  

Oh, it’s so tempting. 

Jungkook would love nothing more than to leave. To crawl into bed with you, perhaps end the day on a high, tussling on the sheets, his fingers in your hair, sharing kisses in the dark, breathless till spent. 

“I have something due at 11AM,” he replied, placing his hands on your bare thighs, swiping his thumbs in a gentle brush. It’s summer again and you were partial to wearing as little as allowed, not that he minded. He liked how you felt, how responsive you were to his touch, how you were his favourite person these days. 

“Do it later.” 

He finds himself grinning, “give me thirty minutes.” 

You rolled your eyes, swinging your legs slightly, hooking your feet over his calves, “you said that thirty minutesago.” 

You drag your feet up then down, Jungkook feels his face warm, his physical reactions all too obvious. 

 “It’s only been twenty minutes.” 

“That’s literally the same thing if you want to round up.” 

He resumes work, twisting his body so that he could reach the keyboard. The affidavit comes back to life, the spacing is tighter but he bears it. In the meantime, you survey the contents of his desk, tracing your finger down the other monitor, which flickered back to his other, neglected tasks. 

“I’m bored,” you comment, tilting your head, capturing his attention again. 

Jungkook sighs, so was he to be fair. 

“You didn’t have to come up, you could have waited for me in bed.” 

“But I wanted to see what the hype was about and see if my parents were chatting bull,” you said, looking at his screen. “I thought it would be more fun, seeing the law in action or have a routine.” 

Jungkook adjusts his seat having trouble making out a particular sentence, the closer he got the more he could feel your warm skin. The temptation grows, his focus waning incrementally.

“You always make it seem like my job shackles me or something,” Jungkook said, placing his hand on your waist. 

“It’s 2AM and you’re still at your desk Kook,” you replied. “‘Sides, I thought that a white-collar job would be more… adventurous.” 

Jungkook squeezes your side, “I doubt that you can make a fair comparison between being a street racer and being a lawyer.”

“Yeah but I studied this for years, it was interesting.”  

You lean into his hold and he catches your scent, sweet and addictive. 

“Then get a job, see for yourself.” 

You shot him a look, but it ends in a laugh. It’s bright, one that he’s gotten used to and sought to bring out in you, even at his expense. 

“Touché.” 

Jungkook chuckles, “then you won’t have to worry about Namjoon tailing you.” 

 You scoffed, “you’ll alwayscome and bail me out anyway, it’s like,” you shrugged one shoulder, “our thing.” 

Jungkook has read the same sentence again.His fingers twitches over the mouse, highlighting it to help. 

(It still makes no sense). 

“What do you mean ‘our thing’?” 

“You know, that’s how my friends know us,” you explained, “I get caught and you bail me out. That’s our thing.” You reach to part his hair, disturbing the style he has perfected over the years. At work, he is the picture of professionalism but now, you muss it up, tugging it free. The strands unravel in an arc, fanning in his line of vision, he probably looks the way he feels: exhausted and in part, lovestruck. 

“Yeah but before, I bailed you out ‘cause I was scared of your parents firing me, but now,” he starts, shifting some text before replying, “you’re my girlfriend.” 

He feels you run your knuckle along the side of his face, along his jaw, drawing his attention away, “so does that mean you’ll come and bail me out because you likeme?” 

The immediate reaction is Yes. 

Yet Jungkook thinks it’s more than that. These past few months have been interesting to say the least and if he was grilled, he would do anything for you in a heartbeat. Though he’d like to keep that for himself for a little longer, it’s been an exercise in stealth as Taehyung and Jimin were too receptive andnot shy about it. 

It’s really obvious that you’re into her, I’m glad, Jimin said to him once in the bar when you were in the bathroom. Jungkook blushed under the blue lights, his face likely a violent shade of purple - not just from the alcohol. For some reason, he felt like he was meeting another set of parents besides yours.

(That too required some pivoting.)  

So, you’d like, drop everything? Taehyung added as he sipped conspiratorially on his glass of wine. 

Jungkook had to hold himself back from answering too quickly but it didn’t help that he saw you emerging from the corner. 

Noteverything, he thought. 

He couldn’t opt out of certain cases but he could push back most deadlines. But, most of the time though, he really would drop everything. At his silence, Jimin and Taehyung exchanged a knowing glance and he had to clear his throat as you approached, asking whether he was being treated nicely. 

“Admit it, you were sowhipped for me,” you grinned. Jungkook rolled his eyes, his lips twitching up. 

“You purposefully got caught at every chance just to see me, remember?” 

You tilt his chin upwards, forcing him to meet you in the eye. 

“But you liked me first.” 

You had a point. The moment he walked into the Yongsan-gu precinct, he had concluded that your first encounter was also thee time he started to like you. He couldn’t really describe it then, overwhelmed at the new environment he had to navigate but there was the inevitable pull of a crush flowering between the cracks. Now, he tried his best to sport a scowl but his body betrays him through a scalding blush. 

“Let me work.” 

“Ah, so it is a yes,” you deemed, pressing the tip of your finger harder on his skin. 

Jungkook sighs, tilting his chin down, catching the tip of your finger between his teeth. You gasped, jerking it back. 

“Why do I even put up with you?” 

You place your hands atop the armrests, hauling him forward that he doesn’t have time to think. 

(You kissing him might also having something to do with that.) 

“Because I’m awesome,” you whispered, right onto his mouth, he smiles, “and I’m fucking out of this world.”

You lean again, and he groans as you place your hands on his shoulders, “and I’m cute, I mean,” you murmured, arching into him, making him dizzy, “I could go on…” 

None of the things you said were false. Jungkook confirms this as his heart is knocking against his ribcage in an unsteady rhythm. It’s another lost battle. 

“Not cute enough to take me away from this affidavit.” 

“Really?” 

Your tone veers into that soft, lilting inquiry. Makes Jungkook think Nowhile being like putty in your hands. 

“Yeah.” 

(A total lie.) 

You nip at his bottom lip and he claws at the chair as a vie for self-control. Then, you hop off the desk, making some space before climbing onto his lap.

Fuck. 

-

There’s something about corporate life that suits Jungkook so much. 

The theatrics of it, the marathon hours, the entire persona he slips into - he handles it with primordial ease. A model for anyone striving for what a cookie-cutter success looks like. Practically, he’s fodder for your parents whims. But in a way, he’s different. Jungkook had integrity.And he was pretty cute. You couldn’t think of your day without his smile or his doting affection, which was honestly the crux of Jimin or Taehyung’s teasing.

Jungkook used to be one of the stiffs to you, Jimin laughed over a bottle of soju, his cheeks a deep rose. 

He might still be, just in a different sense, Taehyung quips, which lands a punch to his ribs from you. 

Leave him alone, you exclaimed, hogging the bottle for yourself. 

You weren’t really meant to follow him up to his office but he walked into the floor of the building looking right at home. No doubt, you garnered a few raised eyebrows at your outfit but the way Jungkook appeared at his workplace made the prospect of being a lawyer appealing for the split second it took for you both to embark the elevator going up. That and the fact that he had immaculate taste in tailored suits and was less unkempt in the office than the drowsier version of himself who trails after you at all hours in the day. 

Now, in his office, surrounded by dull greys and whites and wide-screen monitors, all you wanted was to leave with him in tow.  

Too bad he’s acted so stubborn that you had to work a little harder, clambering onto his lap and shifting your hips with the right amount of pressure to wrench his attention away from that meddlesome affidavit he is so affectionate towards onto you. Admittedly however, it didn’t take thatmuch once it starts rolling. Jungkook never had a propensity to lie, especially with how much he likes you, whether that was through words or his actions. You’ve always respected him for that, but at the same time, it made you want to push his buttons a little more and hear that soft groan muffled against your skin. 

“We’re in my office,” he sighs, placing a tighter grip on your hips. 

Duh. 

“Live a little,” you retorted, gasping as he deepened the kiss, his tongue a heavy and wet intrusion and deliciously warm. His dwindling reserve is marked by his hand supporting the small of your back as he used his other hand to scrunch the back of your shirt, right between your shoulder blades. He groans out your name and you smile into the kiss. 

“C’mon Mr. Jeon, don’t be such a prude.” 

That seems to do something to him as he regains some power. He rocks your hips gently, experimental for a moment. Truthfully, these past weeks have been an ordeal and to not make a habit of being dramatic, you didfeel somewhat starved for affection. Usually, your trips to here were rare, owing to the fact that your mother’s office was merely a stone’s throw away and it was boring. But, as Jungkook is still kissing you, pairing your moans with his barely-there grunts, that was enough to  appease. You lean back, hands curled on his chest, feeling the way his heart was racing into an unbearable tempo. A glance shows that his eyes were glazed, his lips a pretty shade of pink, and his cheeks were tinted despite his restraint.  

“You really want to stay?” You asked, sounding it right on his lips. He tightens his arms around your waist, large hands squeezing as his fingers scrabble against your outfits, wrinkling it further. 

“I have to,” he murmurs, tugging your bottom lip between his teeth. The action sends a veritable shiver down your spine, he kisses you harder, stifling your reply, you’re hips barely move but it’s gotten too warm as you press closer. 

“You sure?” 

At that, you wiggle your hips, grinding with more pressure until his hands secure themselves on your waist and he greets you with a reprimanding expression in the arch of his brow. Though he places his hands on your thighs, nails pinching you slightly as you feel him already hard beneath you. He says your name as you rock forward, mouth parting slightly as he instinctively follow your movements. 

“Careful,” Jungkook breathes out, his fingers inching higher, teasing the hem of your shorts. You smooth your hands over his broad shoulders, aware of the tension laying there in knots. 

“It’s fine,” you whispered softly on the shell of his ear. It’s a risk that you’re pedalling, straight up grinding on his lap in an office that’s mostly glass, with the view of city on his back and the hallway on yours. Jungkook relents by giving you a quick peck, muttering your name in a sound warning, a signal to not go overboard, or perhaps that he’d like to keep his job. 

But what sense is cautioning against taking things too far when in reality, that’s what you both loved to do?

“It’s not like anyone’s looking for you right now.” 

“C’mon,” he groans, you feel him go taut, his hips betraying his words as they rise up as you retreat. You kiss the corner of his mouth, grasping his shoulders tighter, using that to grind fully, relishing in his breathy sigh. He’s back to being tense, his hands practically bruising your hips as you nip at his earlobe, coaxing and coaxing. 

“I can do this all night,” you teased, and you pull back in time to see the flutter of his eyelashes, his lips parting ever so slightly as he waits, and you deliver by kissing along his neck, “if you wanted to.” 

“I - fuck,” he gasped.

You pressed yourself against him more insistently. There’s nothing quite like it when Jungkook surrenders, letting you take over and toeing the line from the reasonable to downright capricious. 

“Wouldn’t that be a sight?” You whispered, sliding your teeth on the heated column of his neck, “someone coming in while we’re fucking.” 

You punctuate this with a roll of your hips, right over his straining cock, confined in his trousers to no avail. But Jungkook snaps out of it, bunching his fist over your shirt forcefully. 

“Behave,” he said through gritted teeth. Again with that word. You found that he liked throwing it around like a Freudian slip of sorts. 

You trace your nose along the side his neck, nipping at the skin and soothing it with the swipe of your tongue. Jungkook groans, depleting again, unsure whether to push you away or pull you closer. Back to his prudish ways, you pull away, reigning in yourself and steadying your breath. He blinks back, adorable in his confusion. You run your finger down the buttons on his shirt, reverting the moment to something innocuous, just you sitting on his lap, smiling innocently. 

“Maybe I should get you a new tie,” you comment, loosening it from the worrisome knot, “less of the blue, more purple.” 

Jungkook looks as if being toyed with equates to completing a marathon, his breathing off kilter, his body heated up from where you were on in moments ago. 

“I have a few places in mind,” you carried on, making no effort to move your hips anymore, “good ones too.” 

“Yeah, fine,” he says eventually, “maybe not now, though.” 

You grinned, successful in your own right as he doesn’t let you go even as you stand up. The monitors have long since fallen asleep, the office is subdued in muted lighting, and the hush is absorbed in the grey carpets. Seoul winks constantly, its lights bright but minute. Jungkook gives you a final kiss, his hand at the nape of your neck, his body too warm and tempting. 

“You spend too much time here,” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck, he leans forward and supports you, his hold is strong and unwavering. 

“What if I needed a break from you, mn?” 

You rolled your eyes, mussing up his hair, tugging with slight force that he groans on your mouth, “don’t be mean.” 

Since he grins into the kiss, you let it go, amused at his attempt at playing up the severity of abandoning something that shouldn’tbe done during this unreasonable hour. 

On the way down, past the averted eyes of security and the wary gaze of the freshly graduated trainees working later than expected, Jungkook keeps his arm around your waist, his grip being anything but possessive. 

-

The tires of your car probably left marks on the road from how reckless you were driving. Jungkook didn’t let go of his grip on his seatbelt once as you navigated the streets, taking each turn and direction with unparalleled confidence. 

Slow down, he warned. 

You pursed your lips but pared the speed a little. 

Once back, the lights in Jungkook’s apartment don’t get a chance to be turned on from the moment you crossed the threshold. He scoops you in his arms and you hold on, laughing as he strides into the bedroom, renewed. 

“Someone’s eager -” you said, but was promptly cut off by the crush of his lips on yours, then a rough tug of your clothes away from your body. You help him, tugging your shorts and underwear off and everything on your top half till you’re bare. His eyes take on a sort of intimidating focus and you grab at his belt after ridding him of his tie, tugging constantly and clumsily. He kisses you again, letting you untuck his shirt, undo the stubborn buttons that kept you away from his skin. You’re frantic yet determined, but in his impatience, he shoves your thigh up, spreading you wide, grinding down his clothed crotch till you shivered, moaning against his lips. 

“Fuck,” he sighed, his voice too tame and pliable. 

You practically ended up ripping his shirt away, slamming your palm on his firm abdomen, the definition of his abs are far too warm, and the firmness of the muscles feel so nice when your nails dig into them. You kiss him deeper, licking into his mouth, not caring that everything gets so messy and slippery, and the thud of his belt meeting the floor gave you motivation to finally push his underwear and trousers down. He wastes no time reuniting with you, pressing his hard cock on your wet slit, nudging the tip on your clit. You moaned at the feeling, the pleasure coiling into something overwhelming. It’s a rocking tease, the purposeful brush of the tip away from your throbbing core that you hopelessly clench around nothing. 

“Jungkook,please,” you whined, nails running on his broad back, the press of the mattress on coupled with the weight of him on top was so deliciously stifling that your legs were shaking. He fists his hand in your hair, the other on your side as he continues his torture, rolling his hips, wetting his cock from your juices, the lewd noises stealing the breath from your lungs. 

“Hgnh, fuck,” you gasped, as he murmurs your name on your neck, the savage nip of his teeth feels like it was enough to mark, but you loved that. 

“Can’t fucking believe I left the office,” he groaned as you cant your hips higher, catching the tip of his cock in your soaked core. 

“There’s always tomorrow,” you offered, reaching down, grasping his cock and running it along your throbbing slit. He balks, the strength leaving him as you positioned him better. 

“Itistomorrow,” he sighed, pushing his hips forwards till you’re writhing, the stretch burning at first but then it falls away to something good, something addictive. It takes a few seconds to adjust, both of you kissing and kissing, melting into each other in a way that eases the intrusion for you and tempers the sensation for him. 

“You want to stop?” 

Jungkook shakes his head, cupping your face as he surges forward, bottoming out. You gasp at the feeling of his cock nestled so deep, your clit rubbing at the base. 

“No,” he adds, moaning as your pussy spasmed around him. 

A rush of air escaping your lips as he mouths lower, lower till his teeth is set on your nipple, tugging hard but only for it to feel good, too fucking good. Your back arches up as he releases it, sucking at the other one till you’re shaking. Your thighs tense on his sides, a small involuntary moan accompanies the way he retreats his hips only to plunge down, his cock disappearing inside you in a wet suction. 

“Ah,fuck,” you moaned, shutting your eyes, succumbing to the heat that surged along your body, your hand grasping at the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging till he sighs out a groan. It’s slow at first, largely to savour the fact that you were both on an actual bed for once instead of a car (or against the wall). Jungkook reaches down, thumbing your clit and your hips kick up instinctively, the pleasure seeping everywhere, an instant fire licking up your veins. 

“S-shit,” he stuttered, gasping into the kiss, his tongue an eager slide against yours, the weight of him, the deliberate pace of his thrusts, his cock stretching you in this angle that your legs hitch up, anchoring him at his sides - it’s dizzying. Your mind empties, your response to the forceful plunge of his hips intuitive. You were saying whatever the fuck was roaring in the pleasure-riddle haze of your mind and rather embarrassingly, it results in - 

“Jungkook,ahn,fuck, y-you’re so big.” 

He filters a groan right onto your mouth and you knew that it not only feltgood for him but that he was caught off guard - shyto be exact. You nipped at his bottom lip, long past that stage, finding home in each other, his touch under your skin and his voice a familiar echo. 

It hasn’t been thatlong since you both decided that you were ‘official’ and it had taken a few slip ups on your part to gauge that Jungkook likedbeing praised. This was true irrespective of the context, although he had a better time handling comments about his job than those in bed. But it was endearing to have him trip over his words in front of your parents over dinner, despite being a decorated litigator with his repertoire being nothing short of impressive. 

“A-ah,” he gasped, slotting a hand at the back of your knee, pressing your thigh close to your chest, going so deep that you shudder. You kiss him gently this time, knowing that he was quickly fending off the desire to finish first and the thought made you smile into the kiss, clenching around his cock as an afterthought. 

“You feel so good,” you sighed, clinging onto the broad expanse of his shoulders, nails digging onto the firm muscles that articulated each movement. And when he doesn’t talk for the moment, instead ramming his hips down, you can barely think, absorbing his moans, low and deep, just enough to hint at the way he was falling apart, all due to your doing. 

You’re panting as you tuck your head down, looking at where you’re connected, the shiny gleam of his length surging inside you, filling you up, sticky strings of arousal snapping at the upstroke. Snaking your hand down, you exposed your clit, moaning at the way it saturates the pleasure, the obscene schlickas his cock drive forward and withdraws at the tip. He says your name, sounding irritated - desperate. 

“Fuck, don’t do that,” he protests belatedly, his voice all ragged while you tip your hips down, your pussy dripping onto the sheets. “I won’t last.” 

You laughed, resulting in your walls spasming involuntarily and it tears a growl from the back of his throat. You’re pressed even harder onto the bed, Jungkook’s head bowing down, teeth grazing at your nipple as he tugs and circles his tongue. You jolt, his hips grinding insistently that you’re pinned. Small gasps spill from your lips, uncontrollable ah-ah-ahn’s,breathy and high, intoxicated. 

It was unnerving at first, to be thisvocal, thinking that the first few times were a fluke. It might have been the thrill of getting caught orthe fact that you were especially horny whenever you and Jungkook got together. All factors being reasonably outside of your control, awakening this uncharacteristic response. 

But you figured (and admitted) that it was because Jungkook was thatreceptive, and knew how to make you feel good. Also, you were somewhat of a tease and he was a relentless go-getter, partial to proving people wrong.

(Of which you weren’t an exception.)  

You’d never forget how Jungkook held onto what you said in passing, something about not really being one to ‘sound out’ how good it feels. 

I don’t know, maybe it’s because I haven’t had the best experience. 

That was, in part, the truth, but you may have embellished it on the account of him not being able to tear gaze away from the pesky laptop screen at his home office in spite of you wearing next to nothing that day. 

Of course, there was work. You weren’t totally oblivious to the demands of a legal career where the hours stretched, veering into the unhealthy, but what was there to do? The lingerie was expensive and you skipped a night of running laps around Seoul with Jimin and Taehyung only to find your boyfriend chained to his desk, practically unresponsive. 

Needless to say, you ignited Jungkook’s competitive streak and there hasn’t been a quiet night since. 

You feel him go faster and you hold on as he tucks his face into the crook of your neck, the heat of his skin and the laboured pants matching your own. You whimpered at the wet squelch of his cock pushing inside you in this unbelievably easy glide, your exhales shaky. You lean back as he raises himself, those strong arms corded in muscle, the red flush of his skin from his chest, seeping up his neck, pinching his cheeks red. You loved him like that, pupils blown, the hinge of his jaw tight as you bite your bottom lip to gain some semblance of propriety by muting your moans, which was futile as you cupped your tits and tug at your nipples. 

Instead of slowing, he fucks you faster, his hips driving down, his cock stretching your pussy, face now buried at the space by your neck, his grunts audible and thrilling as you raise your legs, hips meeting him halfway. 

“Fuck,” he groans, your arm clinging onto his shoulder, hyper aware at the fleshy ripple of your thighs, pussy so wet and snatching his cock in a vice, so close that there was nothing between you apart from those desperate, quick motions. 

“J-jungkook,” you gasped, mindlessly repetitive in saying his name, breaking it on the crook of his neck as you feel it, you feel the peak as he growls, fucking you so hard that you cry out. 

And it’s delirious, almost inexplicable how it all crashes down on you, breathless as you came, trembling through it, convulsing and seizing. Jungkook moaned, spilling inside in this lewd squelch,spilling until the warmth makes you dizzy, forced out of your pussy and onto the sheets, inner thighs slippery and coated. But he doesn’t stop, spurred by your soft cries, the locking of your arms around his neck, his thrusts slowing but deepening, and you’re so sensitive that you came again, your walls fluttering, incidentally bearing down on his cock that he snarled, bracing you against him. 

“Fuck,” he moaned, “fuck.” 

He finds a space on your neck, the sharp bite of his teeth heightened everything else that you muffled a high-pitched cry on his shoulder, your hips trembling underneath him. Your mind goes blank, it was too much: the clutch of your pussy like a vice around his cock, the air around you heavy from arousal, the sheets all clammy. 

“Hgnh,ah,yes,” you slurred, panting as Jungkook slowed to a drowsy pace, his thrusts quietening into nothing as your heart continued its rabbity pulse. But eventually, you both keep rocking against each other, trapping yourselves in the aftershocks, electric bolts welding your veins together, heat spreading until the phosphenes behinds your eyes settled into black. 

You laughed at the satiation you experienced, floating through it. Jungkook grunted, softening over you, nosing along your jaw, finding your lips. 

“Hm,” you hummed, happy in the kiss. 

“Mn.” 

He leans his head back and you kiss the mole at the bottom of his lip. You smoothed a hand down his chest, all the way down, circling your fingers around the base of his cock, enjoying the pleased moan that he breathed out as he pushed his hips forward, thrusting shallowly, making everything messy. Then, he started to kiss you again, till his lips were all over your face, till you were laughing in a half-hearted protest. 

(But you’d happily let him, for as long as he liked.)

It’s well into dawn and the sun peeks through the blinds, your bodies threatening to melt into the sheets. Usually, you’d be racing along the highway in your bright orange Mustang and Jungkook would be behind his desk, faithful to his work. But now, he holds you close, your hearts thudding slowly, your skin tacky and warm. 

“We should start a practice or something,” he mumbles later on, out of the blue. 

“Why?” 

“So you can help we with the workload,” he replies, sounding adorably sleepy. 

Ah, those damn affidavits. 

You scoffed, missing the interior of your car suddenly, “no thank you.”

“I bet you’d be great,” he said, stifling a yawn. 

Despite your sleep-addled brain, a part of you knows that he’s right.

-

“I told you that it was hot!”

Jungkook winces and covers his mouth with the palm of his hand, a sorry sight after only four hours of sleep. The sting on his tongue makes it swell, he sets the cup of coffee down on the table. He finds it unfair that you were only wearing his shirt after showering together but he was dressed in a full suit and had to leave for work. 

“I’m late,” he replied, springing his collar up so that he could drape his tie over the neck. 

You approached him, finishing off the final touches, tying it and pulling it snug. 

“I’ll drive.” 

His stomach turns at the prospect and the length of his silence renders your smile into a laugh. 

“Scared?” 

Trying to be nonchalant, he shakes his head but the tremble in his bottom lip likely betrayed him. You smooth your hands over his chest, tugging his lapels into place. He already missed you and he hasn’t even crossed the threshold of his apartment. 

“I don’t have time to eat but I’ll see you later?” 

You sport a slight pout, which he leans to kiss. Breakfast was sacrificed for a couple more minutes of the shower. But he knows that the choice wasn’t a regret. Your arms loop over his neck and he embraces you tighter. 

“I have back to back meetings with clients today.”  

You licked at his bottom lip and he feels his insides flip. 

“So can I drive you then?” 

Jungkook sighs, pinching your chin between his fingers as you tug him towards the kitchen island. He mutters your name, albeit weakly. He really was going to be late if he didn’t leave in the next fifteen minutes. 

“Please stay within the speed limit,” he cautions. You grinned, careful to not mess up his hair.

(He kind of wished that you did.) 

He slides his hand down, down till it meets your bare thigh, his gropes at the soft flesh as you open your mouth wider, soft kisses coming so easy that he’s drunk. You hum a vague assent and he squeezes your hip. 

“Maybe I’ll pay Namjoon a visit, I haven’t seen him in a while,” you mused, a thinly veiled threat. 

He groans, pinching your sides as a tame warning. 

“I won’t go all the way to Yongsan to bail you out at 2AM.” 

You part, laughing as he tried his best to gauge a tickle war. He strides around the open living space as you desperately try and avoid him, the hem of his shirt fluttering around your thighs. The sunlight flooding the room bathes you in the most wonderful way. He manages to scoop you up, ignoring the immediate wrinkles it presses on his suit as he kissed at the skin peeking between the buttons. He sits you both on the couch, you steady on his lap, your arm around his shoulders as he runs his touch along your bare thigh. 

“C’mon, I know that you’d do anything for me, Jeon.” 

Jungkook doesn’t answer straight away because of course he would. He makes sure to meet you in the eye, his gaze surveying your features, tucking this moment in the back of his mind to revisit when he was worn down by everything else around him. 

So he says it because it feels right. 

“That’s ‘cause I love you.” 

You raised your eyebrows, a pure display of shock. He catches up with his words, his mouth parting to rectify but he decides against it. He may be slow to admit his feelings but he prides himself in being honest. You wait for a moment then, in an act that is more surprising than anything, you hide your face by his neck. Worried, he slopes his hand up your back, thinking he did something wrong.

“You’re so annoying,” you said, your voice muffled. 

He laughs, thrown off. 

“Why?” 

“Because,” you whispered, going all soft. 

You pull back and he touches the back of his hand by your cheek, finding it warm. It makes him smile that you’re genuinely flustered for once. 

“Because?” 

Unable to meet him in the eye, you trace your finger along the pocket square, thumbing at the seam. 

Ah. 

You were getting shy. 

Motivated, he hitches you to a steadier position on his lap, his hands clutching at your hips. 

“But I do!” 

You shove at him, hiding your face behind your hands, “stop!” 

He kisses you again, everywhere really, happy that you were this adorable after being confronted by how much he loves you. 

“I love you,” he murmured, kissing that space by your neck, and you laughed. But it’s a shaky laugh, your hands on his shoulders as he supported your back. 

“I -” you began, unsure, “same.” 

Thatmakes him laugh, so he kisses you harder, grinning. 

“Same?” 

You huff, pressing your chest against him as he draws you closer. He waits as patience has always served him well. 

“Iloveyou.” 

Jungkook pulled back, mildly offended but totally endeared. 

“What was that?” 

You push at him weakly, rolling your eyes. Then, you frame his face with your hands, as if this was the only time he’ll hear it. 

“I.”

You enunciate with flair. 

“Love.” 

You press your fingers, messing his hair up a bit. 

“You.” 

And this is how it happens. On an ordinary weekday morning, on the couch of his untidy living room, with him dressed in his suit and you in his shirt. He thinks that he’d like to bottle this up and preserve this bliss. You squirmed on his lap and he tucks your hair behind your ear as you melt into his touch. Unable to help it, he leans forward, kissing you again, because so far, his life’s been great, and he might be late but there’s nowhere he’d rather be right now. 

So he says it again, because he wants to and he can. 

“I love you too.” 

masterlist (I)|masterlist (II)

“You can’t stay mad at me forever Y/N,” Jungkook sighed as he continued to follow you around.

Your head shook back to Jungkook as you walked into the bedroom, hearing footsteps following behind you. You had lost count of how many times you had listened to him apologise, desperate to try and fix things after accidentally making a big hole for himself earlier in the day.

Just as you went to close the door behind you, Jungkook slid in through the door to join you in the room. “Jungkook, go away,” you tried to tell him, but his head shook, refusing to leave you alone without you at least hearing him out on things.

“Just give me two minutes,” he requested, watching you step back as soon as he stepped forward towards you. “I just need you to let me explain to you how sorry I am.”

Your head nodded, but before you listened to Jungkook, you excused yourself to the toilet for a couple of minutes. Jungkook sat down on the bed as you went into the bathroom, making sure to close the door behind you before opening up the cupboard door.

You looked past your toiletries that were on the shelf, reaching all the way to the back where your stick of lip balm was. As soon as you reached for it, your smile grew, walking across to the mirror with it as you took the lid off, making sure to apply a thick layer of balm to your lisp before returning to the bedroom, with the balm in your pocket.

“Can I talk now?” Jungkook asked you as soon as you appeared, patting the space beside him on the bed for you to sit down on. You kept your distance from Jungkook as he cleared his throat, glancing across at you. “You know how sorry I am, don’t you?”

“I don’t get why you had to be so mean to me Jungkook, it was so uncalled for.”

His head nodded in agreement with you, “I just wasn’t thinking, I took my frustrations out on you and that wasn’t fair. All you were trying to do was help me, and I threw it back in your face and made you feel like rubbish at the same time too.”

You continued to sit and listen as Jungkook explained himself, nodding your head as you paid close attention to him. If you were honest, you weren’t mad about him any longer, but you were enjoying listening to him grovel back across to you.

As soon as his two minutes were up, Jungkook stopped speaking, anxiously looking across to you. As the corners of your mouth turned up, he got a little bit more hopeful, edging slightly closer towards you, hoping that you had forgiven him.

He was still a little apprehensive as he stared across to meet your eyes. “Can we move on from this?” Jungkook asked you, finally allowing himself to relax when your head nodded in reply to him, wanting to do exactly the same.

“Why don’t you let me do something to prove to you how much I’ve forgiven you?” You offered, “why don’t I give you a kiss to let you know that all is forgotten?”

“A kiss? Well, I would definitely not say no to that.”

You shuffled yourself a little bit closer to Jungkook, “I hate when we argue like this, I wish that it would never happen between us.”

Just as Jungkook nodded in agreement, you leant forwards and pressed a kiss to his lips. Your smile was wide as you kissed Jungkook, quickly feeling his hands grab your shoulders and push you back, wiping his mouth with his hand.

“What the hell is that on your lips? Is this some sort of wind-up right now?”

Your laughter was loud as you watched Jungkook scrub at his mouth, desperate to get the taste of the balm away as soon as he possibly could. His eyes glared at you as you watched on, shaking your head at how dramatic he was.

“Do you not like it?” You teased, “it’s a new balm that I bought not too long ago. Take a look at it, you never know, you might be able to get used to it.”

As you brought the balm from your pocket, Jungkook took it from you and began to read through the label. His eyes narrowed as he read over what taste the balm was, noticing a picture of lemons on the very end of the wrapper too.

He threw the balm across the room as you continued to chuckle, grabbing your shoulders again and pinning you down on the bed. His expression was a picture as you stared up at Jungkook, knowing that you had drawn yourself level with him.

“What’s wrong? Is the balm not your cup of tea,” you innocently smiled, pretending to be clueless as to why Jungkook looked so disgruntled.

“You are one evil woman; do you know that?”

“I’m just getting a little bit of revenge,” you chimed, knowing that Jungkook couldn’t argue with you. “Just reminding you of how horrible I can be if you want to be horrible to me. I happen to quite like the taste of the lip balm anyway.”

“If I ever see you wearing that again then I might just disown you,” Jungkook promised you, “I’ve never tasted anything as gross in my entire life Y/N.”

His reaction had your sides hurting, you knew that Jungkook wouldn’t like it, but even he had managed to surprise you by just how much he disliked it, still liking his lips as the taste haunted him on the tip of his bottom lip.

“Will you be as mean to me next time?” You asked Jungkook, “or will you be nice now?”

His head shook at the smug smile that was on your face, “I’ll be nice, if it means that I won’t have to taste that stupid lip balm again. Where did you even get that from? I mean who decides to make lemon flavoured lip balm?”

“I’ve kept it well hidden, knowing that it would come in handy one day,” you informed him, “and it definitely did.”

His eyes rolled at how well you had managed to get back at him. “So, this is why you stropped off to the bedroom too? You didn’t need the toilet, did you? You just went into the bathroom to get your weapon of choice.”

Your head nodded as everything began to fall together for Jungkook, disappointed in himself more than anything else that he hadn’t noticed that you were up to something, too focused on trying to put things right and apologise to you.

“If I ever see that lip balm again, I’ll scream,” Jungkook assured you.

“It doesn’t even taste that bad.”

His eyes widened as you spoke, “I like most things Y/N, but that was absolutely grim. How are you laying there so comfortably knowing that you’ve got lemon lip balm on your lips? How are you not grossed out?”

Your shoulders shrugged in reply to him, “I think it tastes pretty sweet, mainly because it reminded you that I’m not someone to be messed with. Your face definitely made putting on lemon lip balm a worthwhile experience.”

“I’ve really got to be on my toes around you, what else have you got up your sleeve?” Jungkook enquired.

“That would be telling, wouldn’t it?”

“I can’t believe how mean you are.”

—

Masterlist

Your head snapped around as yet another slam of a table tennis racquet against the table made you jump, spinning around as Taehyung bounced around on one side of the table, with Jin confidently smirking at the other end of the table, managing to pick up yet another point despite Taehyung’s best efforts.

“I give up,” Taehyung huffed, placing his racquet down and stepping back from the table, “I swear you’ve got some sort of cheat up your sleeve that none of us know about.”

“What are you idiots up to?” You shouted across from where you sat down on the field, “are you guys really getting this competitive over a game of table tennis out of everything?”

“We’re not as your boyfriend is Y/N!”

The eyes of the figure beside you quickly widened, “hey, don’t bring me into this, I’m innocent.”

Your hand pushed against Jungkook’s arm gently as the boys quickly told you how he had been acting throughout the holiday when you hadn’t been looking. You knew exactly how competitive Jungkook could be, having been on the receiving end of many games that you played.

Instead of join in this game though, Jungkook was busy tickling the tummy of Bam who sat between the two of you. “If you wait until after dinner, I’ll give you another game Jin and beat your ass.”

“You wish that you could beat me.”

Your head shook as yet another back and forth between the two boys. Both were adamant that they could win given the chance, deciding that after dinner they would have the ultimate match to decide who really was the best at table tennis.

“Don’t go crying to Y/N when I beat you, she won’t be able to help you, Kook.”

“He’s not going to win,” Jungkook whispered into your ear as Jin walked away from you both, “there is no way that I’m letting him, and his stupid ego beat me at a game of table tennis.”

“You sound pretty confident,” you noted, poking gently against your arm, “I’m sure that Jin probably wants to defeat you and your competitive ego to you know.”

A sharp intake of breath came from Jungkook, “me? An ego, I just know that I’m better than him.”

Your head shook at how competitive Jungkook still was, “either way I’m sure that whichever one of you ends up winning this game will probably brag about it forever.”

Whilst most people started to get stuck in with preparing dinner soon after, with Bam following behind you too, Jungkook decided his time was better spent at the table tennis table. After pressing it up against the wall to bounce the ball off of, he rallied and rallied making sure that he was prepared for his match with Jin.

When you came and found him to let him know that dinner was ready, a sigh came from him, reluctantly placing the racket down and slumping behind you to the table.

“I was really getting into the swing of things there,” Jungkook proudly told you as he walked.

“I’m sure that Jin will be much stiffer competition than a wall though.”

Jungkook’s head shook as he threw his arm across your shoulders, walking to the two seats that were waiting for the two of you at the end of the table. Even as the two of you sat down, you could tell that Jungkook was glancing across at Jin, making sure that he was aware that Jungkook had been practicing.

As soon as the two of you sat down, Bam snuck underneath the table where the two of you were, looking between you both. With Yoongi placing the plates of food down at the table, Jungkook ran his hand over the top of Bam’s head, promising him that he’d be fed too once you had everything sorted for you and the boys.

It had been the same routine for you since the start of the trip, having joined halfway through their holiday, you slipped into their habits and followed exactly what they did, offering your help wherever you felt that you could slot in.

Throughout your meal, Jungkook’s legs bounced excitedly, making sure that he stayed agile in his seat. Several times you watched him swerve left and right or pretend that his chopsticks were a racquet and swing for his food.

In the end you could only laugh to yourself at how eager he was. “Can’t you just eat like everyone else does?” You asked him, watching him hit again against the side of his glass.

“I’ve got to get in the zone Y/N,” Jungkook explained to you, pressing his hands to his temples, “this is a big match in case you’ve forgotten.”

Your head shook back to Jungkook, knowing that Jin was watching the two of you. “You remember that Jin is your elder, right? Don’t you think that maybe you should let him win, I mean no one wants to lose to someone that’s younger than them, do they?”

Jungkook scoffed in reply to you, he didn’t care that Jin was his elder, all he cared about was winning. Throughout the trip he had managed to show off how good he was at so many things, and this was no exception for him too.

“I’ll win, for you,” Jungkook whispered across into your ear. “I kept telling you that I’d do something special on this trip, I’ll make that something special beating Jin at table tennis then we’ll get bragging rights over the rest of them for the rest of the trip.”

“You do remember that I’m leaving tomorrow, right?” You chuckled, “you might get bragging rights but I’m just going back home so you can enjoy your victory all by yourself here.”

“I still can’t believe you’re going,” Jungkook sighed with his expression dropping, “are you sure that there’s no way that you can convince your boss to give you some more time off?”

You had been lucky to get just a few days off to be able to drive up and explore the house that the boys were staying at. The last thing that you were able to do was push your luck, having got yourself in trouble before with your boss for hanging out with the boys and not doing your work properly.

With you going tomorrow, Jungkook was more confident than ever that he was going to win and round off the little trip that you’d had together perfectly. If he had one more chance to be able to show off to you, Jungkook was absolutely going to take it.

And as a small groan came from underneath the table, Jungkook knew that someone else agreed with him too. “Bam will be on my side,” Jungkook laughed as Bam’s wide eyes looked up, “he knows that I can do it.”

“He’s on ball boy duties when you end up sending the ball flying,” you smiled, running your hand over the top of Bam’s head, “when Jin can’t return the balls that you send down to him.”

“I’ll have him running all over the place,” Jungkook assured you, “it might be the table tennis match of the century.”

Your eyes rolled, “I’m sure the production team feel very lucky to be filming it.”

“They should, it’s a once in a lifetime for everyone.”

—

Masterlist

Prompt list

Main masterlist

A prompt list because i can’t think of anything . Just select a member with the numbers and you can tell me if you want the ending to be happy or sad. It can be smut too! And they can be of any au’s whether it’s ceo or mafia

Request open!

BTS

1. Fuck you aren’t making it easy for me
2. You promised you wouldn’t leave me
3. Let me make you forget him
4. Can i kiss you?
5. You know i would do anything for you babygirl
6. I need you
7. I can’t fucking live without you,can’t you see that?
8. Let’s get married
9. I can’t do this anymore
10. I love you more than him
11. I’m in love with you
12. Let’s stop this
13. I don’t fucking care
14. You are the only one for me
15. Is she mine?
16. You’re my everything babygirl
17. Do you love him?
18. I’ll protect you
19. I’ll fucking kill myself if anything had happened to you
20. He will regret this
21. I’ll never let anything happen to you
22. I’m not letting you walk out on me
23. I’m sorry for walking out on you
24. Just know that i love you more than anything
25. You’re pregnant?
26. I can’t believe my own daughter would betray me like this
27. You’re nothing to me
28. You’re mine before him
29. You’re mine
30. I never stopped loving you
31. I hate you but i hate myself more because i can’t stop loving you
32. Fuck the things you do to me
33. Burn that dress. I’ll buy you another one
34. No baby, I’m in charge here
35. You’re so fucking beautiful
36. No you’re not going anywhere
37. Are you fucking crazy?!
38. Do you want to die?!
39. Thank you for not leaving me
40. Talk to me baby
41. I don’t care you’re married
42. I love you dammit
43. I swear she is nothing to me
44. Please believe me baby
45. I can’t believe you
46. Do you even care anymore?
47. You’re making me crazy y/n
48. Fuck I’ll shoot a bullet in her head if she tries to hurt you again
49. Can’t you see that he is just using you?!
50. Why do you have to bring that up every single time?!

You could’ve been nicer {BTS} pt. 2

Part 1 /Part 3

Summary: How do the boys react when you tell them “I think you could’ve been nicer to me today”?

Min Yoongi

You were lying under a blanket, Yoongi sitting opposite of you, your legs were tangled with his and you were munching on some sweets he had brought for you. He was carressing your leg while scrolling through his phone. You’ve been scrolling through your own phone when the idea struck you. You opened the camera of your phone and started filming him before speaking up. “Yoongs?” you said and he looked up with an arched brow. “I think you could’ve been nicer to me today.” you said and he looked confused for a second. “What did I-…What’d I do?” he asked, his voice concerned, while putting his snack away and while you were thinking about something to keep up the act, his gaze wandered down from your face to your hands. He immediately rolled his eyes and took back his snack from the table. “Yeah?” he said and kept snacking on his chips. “Nicer how? Like the blanket I brought you? Or like the snacks I bought? Or wait wait…” he said lifting his index finger, obviously making fun of you,”like the dishes I washed, because you were having period cramps.” He nodded towards you to ask for an answer and he chuckled when you didn’t answer. “I am being nice to you now shut up.” he said while unpausing his video on the phone. “No!” you said while gently kicking your feet trying to regain his attention. “You should’ve been nicer to me.” you tried to keep up your prank but he just smiled to himself. “You’re recording me baby. I’m not dumb I’ve figured.” he answered while looking at his phone and made you laugh nervously. “You’re unbelievable. I was trying to prank you.” you said swatting his shoulder playfully. “Holding your phone like that is always suspicious. That’s obvious fan behavior right there.” he explained and you rolled your eyes at his word. In one swift movement you were hovering over him and took him by surprise. “I’m not your fan.” you said with a hushed voice while his gaze went from your eyes to your lips. “You’re my number one fan.” he whispered and pulled you closer into a passionate kiss.

Jeon Jungkook

You were having dinner with Jungkook at the dorm while the others were out. He had prepared a nice meal for you and date night was going great. A moment of silence occurred while he was cleaning the table and that’s when you remembered the trend you’ve seen earlier. “Hey. I think you could’ve been nicer to me today.” you said while looking at your fingers on your lap and he walked back out of the kitchen. “Really?” he asked and looked at you for a second. “Yeah, you could’ve been nicer.” you repeated and he could swear that he heared that once before. You looked up when he didn’t answer and saw him standing beside you with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Yeah I think you could’ve been nicer too though.” he said while arching a brow and your jaw fell open,”I mean I did everthing for you and now this?” he asked and your prank backfired. “Oh no Kook I wasn’t trying to..”

“That’s a bit ungreatful of you, don’t you think?” he said and sounded really hurt which made you panic. “No, wait. I’m sorry. I was just..”

“Nevermind. Let’s not fight at the end of a, what was for me a nice night.” he said and you could face palm yourself. “Hey.” you said grabbing his hand and stood up from where you were sitting to stand close to him. “I was just kidding. The night was great and you’ve been amazing. I was just pulling a prank. I’m sorry.” you apologized and a big grin spread across his face while he wrapped his arms around you. “I know.”

“What?!”

“Boo I’m on social media as much as you. I know my hyungs miss all the trends but you’ve got a pretty on track boyfriend when it comes to social media trends.” he smiled and you hit his shoulder playfully. “I was scared for a sec.” you said and pouted. “How does your own medicine taste?” he asked teasingly and you rolled your eyes.

A/N: Part 3 its on its way

paper hearts - p.jm.

genre: fluff, college au! f2l(9k)

summary: hearts fragile like paper, tear it or don’t? (fools!universe)

masterlist      series masterlist

jimin.

your first friend in college.

in a sea of unfamiliar faces, jimin’s face stood out like you were meant to see him, like you were supposed to feel your heart stop in place with how his smile made you feel when you introduced yourself or how he hold onto that smile while shaking your hand as slowly as he could just to tease you, and it didn’t take long for him to occupy a part of your heart.

well, at least as your best friend.

“i really don’t get it” jimin whines as he wipes down the counter, you look up from typing away on your computer with a slight frown and tilt your head at his annoyed expression.

“get what?” you sip the hot chocolate that jimin graciously made for you the second you stepped into the bakery he worked at.

“i don’t get what is happening with jungkook and that girl” you turn back to see jungkook sharing a strawberry shortcake with a girl and they had huge smiles on their faces, both of them positively glowing as sunlight hit them in all the right places.

you could feel the lovey-dovey atmosphere around them all the way from where you’re sitting and it was cute, kind of cute, you grimaced a little because you were never a romance enthusiast.

or maybe you were just as bitter as jimin.

but you’re better at hiding it than he is.

“they seem to like each other, why are you so mad about that?” you scoff while masking your own not-so-nice feelings with a glare, and see jimin huff out a long breath, getting even more annoyed when you point out his obvious unnecessary reaction.

“they met like a week ago” you raised your eyebrows at the bitter tone in his voice.

“okay, so what about that? they like each other and things look good, who put a stick up your ass?” you chuckled a little and went back to typing, jimin lightly threw the cloth on the counter and you shake your head at his dramatic action.

“it’s not about that, i’m stuck doing all the work because jungkook is in love with someone he met a week ago, i shouldn’t have pushed him to her.” he scolded himself for being so encouraging to jungkook but deep down, he knows that’s not the reason at all.

“is it really that or you’re just jealous because you didn’t get laid this past week?” you quipped with pursed lips and jimin threw a glare your way causing you to laugh.

“you can just say you’re jealous, you don’t have to be a bitch about jungkook finally getting with someone” you shrugged, and jimin rubbed his forehead.

“listen, i’m not jealous, i just, can you at least listen to me?” jimin whined exasperatedly when you ignored him and continued typing, you slightly paused, nodding distractedly, holding a hand up to signal that it will take a minute and jimin huffs as he steps away.

“why do i even try with you?” he pouts deeply and you almost give in, wanting to shut your laptop right then and give him your undivided attention but you hold yourself back.

“don’t be so fucking dramatic, give me a minute and i’m all yours” you mumbled while rolling your eyes, finally finishing your assignment and saving it with a relieved sigh, now you were free for the weekend and you didn’t have to worry about your professor breathing down your neck to finish your work, you look up with a small smile to see jimin staring at you with an unreadable expression.

“what’s up? why are you being so pissy?” you crossed your arms over your chest and stared pointedly at him, jimin suddenly looks shy, nervous even which has you concerned for your usually very confident and charismatic friend.

“i feel like i should be doing that too, you know?” he narrowed his eyes as he tried to explain what exactly he was feeling and it only made you feel more confused.

“….sharing a strawberry shortcake with someone?” you asked with an incredulous expression and jimin resisted the urge to hit you on top of your head, thank goodness he liked you.

“no, what the hell? not that. i want to be like that” he gestured towards jungkook and the girl who were now completely obvious to the rest of the world, it’s like they were floating in their own bubble built with joy and security, any person in the room would be able to tell that they were witnessing love blooming right in front of them.

you’re not sure if jimin is jealous or just being a bitter old man about young love, but you knew you were jealous.

you want that too, a bubble of your own that you build carefully and steadily till no one can break it, you wanted to experience love too.

it’s only when jimin starts talking again that you lean back in to hear him, not fully listening to him but listening to him enough to not lose track of the conversation or to get out of your mind weaving its imaginations.

“i’m not jealous, i’m more than happy for our jungkook but there’s a little part of me that also wants to sit in front of the sun, completely lost in the person sitting opposite to me, i want that feeling of acting like there’s only us in the room and everyone else is just air” jimin speaks whimsically, like there was magic twirling in his words, he had a charming smile on his face as he narrated what the love of his dreams would be like.

“so, being in love?” you mutter and trail off, not paying attention to the curious look that grazes your face as you think about how love must feel like, it had to be an out of this world feeling, right? that is why people go so crazy over it. it’s the feeling many great authors have tried to explain, while they have given a peek to what love is, even the greatest couldn’t define it fully.

you don’t believe in romance however, you don’t believe you’ll ever get to build the bubble you want, you accepted that maybe one day, you might fall in love but romance might never show up in your life, because you’re simply not ready for the vulnerability that comes with the rushing strands of romance.

and you’re so lost in yourself, you miss the way jimin stops thinking and looks at you with a smaller, but softer smile on his face, the smile that no one knows about, not even you.

“yeah, being in love.” it’s after he says these words with so much warmth that you snap fully out of whatever daze you went in.

because jimin sounds serious and he’s only serious about a handful of things, one of them being sales at the chanel store, you’re not kidding, you can’t even count all the times he’s dragged you there during black fridays, and by now, even the staff know him by name, another thing he is serious about is relationships, not just romantic ones, but friends and family, he takes them all very seriously, he’s always telling you that without effort, any relationship would collapse which is why we should take care of ourself and the people around us.

“why?” you can’t help but ask, like sure it looks and sounds lovely to be with someone you care about, but why is jimin so suddenly interested in it?

“i’m just sick of seeing it all around me and not experiencing it myself, like even in the movies we watch or the songs we listen to, it’s all people seem to want, i’m just, i think i’m curious to see if it’s as beautiful as everyone describes it” you can relate to that, you’ve switched more than a few movies or songs because they got too cheesy or you just wanted to avoid something that seemed so far away to you.

“what if it hurts?” you ask, looking down at your fingers as you fiddle with them, waiting for his answer and he shrugs.

“then i get hurt” you finally look at him, mostly out of shock, because he can’t be this casual about getting his heart broken one day but jimin looks determined, to experience it, to live it, to be in love, you haven’t seen jimin this sure in a long time.

something about his simple answer nags you, maybe it’s just that easy, you just get hurt, you move on, you find someone else but deep down, you know that if you’re going to love, you’re only going to love one person and you’re going to do it right then or maybe you’re just a coward who doesn’t want to hurt someone or get hurt.

“well, you’ll get there one day” you look away from his intense gaze and pretend to keep working on something in your laptop, refusing to spare him anymore glances and out of your periphery, you can see jimin eye you one last time before sighing heavily and going back to stand at the till.

-

you don’t talk about it ever again, you even change the topic every time jimin brings it up, you know that he’s getting suspicious but you can’t help it, all that talk about love or finding your fit, made your mind cloudy, you had a lot of thoughts about it and none of them seemed like your thoughts, almost like borrowed thoughts from people around you to form an idea of love that you’re not sure you believe in.

you’re young, you shouldn’t be worrying about this and jimin shouldn’t either but here you are, two idiots aimlessly looking for love that has never presented itself in their lives before.

it has, but it’s not like you two have a clue.

you watch from where you sit in the cafeteria with narrowed eyes, jimin, who said he would be back in five minutes and it’s been twenty minutes now, is surrounded with people, the jocks, the nerds, other stereotypical people from different social groups, and he’s happily in the center of it all with an easy smile on his face.

it’s like he glows with attention, he glows with his charisma to be able to talk to anyone without wanting to run away, a power you both want and never want to be blessed with because even if you’re not all about being around people, it would be nice to hold a conversation with just about anyone, but jimin clearly doesn’t mind as he says something that has everyone around him laughing while clutching their stomachs.

for a second, you want to grab him and pull him with you so he can make you laugh like that because you don’t necessarily enjoy other people’s attention, but you don’t move an inch, you just clasp your eyes shut and slam your head on the table in front of you.

you shouldn’t think too much about this, it’s just jimin, he’s always loved being around people and you’ve never felt this urge to have all his attention to yourself but here you are, one bad move away from dragging him back to your table.

you are desperate for someone who’s already close to you and naturally, gives you a lot of attention, and you feel pathetic for thinking this way.

this isn’t like you.

you’ve never wanted jimin beside you so badly, and you aren’t sure about what you’ll talk about if he’s beside you, you’re just hoping he will carry the conversation like he usually does.

you feel a tap on your table making you look up to see namjoon staring at you unsurely.

yeah, slamming your head on a table in a room full of people probably will raise some questions about your sanity.

namjoon and you have a very casual but deep friendship, you don’t know how to explain it, but if jimin left your side at a party, you definitely would go look for namjoon to get drunk with and talk about anything in the world, he’s very open to any topic and you’re more than happy to indulge in his bright and unique mind.

“you okay?” he asks you with raised eyebrows and you nod sheepishly.

you’re just peachy.

he didn’t look like he believed you but he let it slide.

“then hopefully i will see you at the party tonight, we can pick up on that documentary about whales again?” he tilts his head, this is why you love talking with him, drunk or sober, he makes what seem like the most boring topics in the world into things that you want to be invested in, though he is much more fun when he’s drunk, and normally, you would throw finger guns and excitedly tell him yes but you already have something planned.

“movie night with jimin, so probably no, sorry joon, but i’ll come to the library in a bit, i need to pick up some books, you’ll be there, right?” he shrugs like it’s obvious he will be there because he does volunteer to work there from time to time and he leaves after that, and you’re all by yourself again.

not for too long though.

“namjoon hyung left already? i was about to come over and say hi” jimin’s voice makes you jump in your place and when he sits down beside you, you feel the all too familiar feeling of relief at his voice and presence flood through you as you exhale deeply.

jimin doesn’t notice your eyes travel across his face, taking him in like it was the first time you saw him and starts eating from the tray in front of him.

friends are allowed to admire each other, right?

“yeah, he just wanted to ask about today’s party, speaking of which, we’re still on for movie night, right?” you nudged jimin from stuffing his face with the day-old cafeteria food, he looks up with a frown, mouth smothered with red sauce and gulping down hard.

how attractive.

“i didn’t tell you?”

“tell me what?”

he furrowed his eyebrows deeper, trying to remember if he told you about his random date tonight and once he comes to the realization that he indeed didn’t tell you, he freezes.

movie nights.

they really are nothing special, it’s not like you do anything besides watch some action or animation movie while eating the greasiest foods, it’s the one-day jimin and you refuse to diet or be careful with your body, and most movie nights end with you drunk and asleep on the couch.

movie nights came to existence when your girlfriend in first year dumped you and you went crying to jimin’s dorm because you didn’t know who else you could go to, jimin knew all along that she was going to dump you at some point, he had warned you even that it was only a matter of time before you end up hurt, and considering the playful nature of your friendship, you expected him to drop the ‘i told you so’ line but instead, he scanned you with concerned eyes and silently put on the funniest movie he could think of.

boss baby.

and within seconds, maybe it was because of how much warmth jimin held in his eyes as he dried your tears and patted your head with a careful ‘don’t cry, not when you’re with me’ or maybe it was just because boss baby (tied with big hero 6, tangled and soul) was the best animated movie ever made, but you forgot.

you forgot about your girlfriend who you really did like a lot, you had a lot in common with her, and it was the first time you were dating after coming out as bisexual, it felt good, and even if you felt like you could really fall for her, you knew something was missing with you two and you even feel grateful that you didn’t have to cut her off, she did that for you.

but that day, you felt with jimin what you didn’t feel with your girlfriend.

safe.

you felt safe with jimin.

so yeah, nothing special.

nothing special about the way you looked at jimin that night and the tight feeling in your chest that you’ve been carrying since that day.

“date tonight, i won’t be coming over for movie night, i really thought i told you” you couldn’t hide your disappointment at his words, you really were looking forward to watching movies and eating junk tonight, especially with jimin, but you quickly masked it with a huge grin.

“don’t even worry about it, go and have fun, i’m sure it will go well, i will probably just watch something and eat ice cream anyway” you said with as much fake enthusiasm as you could and you almost felt like he didn’t believe you but he flashed you an equally wide grin and nodded happily.

“i hope it goes well too, i like him, he’s in my sociology class and he seemed pretty cool, we’ll see” he winks at you and he always does that, you usually just wink back at him but today, you want to bury your head in your plate of mashed potatoes to hide your flushed face. you cough and look away from him, picking your food with the dull plastic fork and your reaction confuses jimin a little, but he shrugs and continues stuffing his face.

-

“are these all the books you need?” namjoon scans the small stack of books on the counter he’s sat at and you bob your head as you sit across him, cheek leaning on your open palm.

“wait, where’s jimin? you two are usually always together” that line stings more than it should, yeah you and jimin are always together but you feel weird when someone else says it, like fuck it, you get around a lot by your own too, you don’t need jimin for everything.

“he’s preparing for a date with a cute guy from his sociology class” you mumbled with obvious disappointment and maybe even some fury laced in your voice and namjoon’s mouth forms an ‘o’ at your words.

“so, he ditched your movie night?” he states plainly and lifts his hands in surrender when you glare at him.

“he didn’t ditch me, he’s just having a date, that’s fine, i’m happy that at least one of us is having fun” your words might not be that alarming but the look on your face is, you look bitter, and like you’re ready to rip a head off and namjoon doesn’t want that to be his head so he coughs with wide eyes and returns to setting your books aside.

“what’s up with you? anything interesting?” you distractedly question as your gaze travels across the pretty empty library, it’s always this empty and namjoon is secretly grateful because he doesn’t necessarily like being around people just like you, so he enjoys the quiet and peace that the library offers.

“a little bit, i met someone in the park near han river the other day” namjoon says with a gentle grin on his face and you immediately perk up, leaning in with raised eyebrows.

“tell me everything” you whisper dramatically and namjoon lets out a laugh at your serious tone.

“there’s nothing to tell but i feel like there will be if..” he trailed off and you leaned in even more, trying to catch any details he throws at you.

“there will be if you come to the party tonight” he concludes with a sly grin on his face and you smirk, namjoon was smart, but you knew he wasn’t all that confident in the dating game so whatever was happening with him and this person he’s met, has to be something special and it’s not like you have a movie night anymore, so you return his sly grin and happily hop out of the library.

-

standing in the middle of a full room with a tight dress on with heels instead of booty shorts in your room isn’t your ideal night but you have to say, it’s not horrible so far, you’ve seen familiar faces, managed to greet and maintain a small conversation without wanting the floor to pull you in, more than a few of them asked where jimin was and it took everything in you to not visibly be annoyed.

you came here to distract yourself from him and even here, your conversations are flooded with mentions of him, you step away from everyone while nursing your peach infused drink which definitely has alcohol in it with wandering eyes, trying to find namjoon in this mess, praying to find him quickly because you will throw a chair if one more person asks about jimin.

“where the fuck is he?” you angrily type away on your phone, trying to spam him to catch his attention just in case his phone is in his pocket in this loud room and your heart leaps out of your chest when someone takes your wrist and starts walking ahead.

“sorry, you looked lost and i need to get out of here as soon as i can” namjoon yells from in front of you and you’re so glad that it’s him and not some random asshole trying to harass you.

once you’re both in the quieter area of the room, namjoon lets your wrist go with an apology and lets you know that he’s going to be back with drinks and you’re alone again.

you feel nothing but bored as you watch people bump and grind against each other, it’s only when your eyes catch jungkook’s tall figure in the room that you almost lift your hand to wave but looking at his hand holding hands with the same person you saw in the bakery, you decided against it because they looked pretty cozy and engrossed in their own conversation, it just looked like a delicate scene even in the rowdy room and you didn’t want to ruin it.

“okay vodka shots for you and beer for me”

“you know me so well.” you feign being flattered and namjoon laughs at you,

 “that i do” namjoon mutters, his tongue poking out a little as he carefully tries to place the glasses on your table and you stifle a laugh when he manages to spill an entire shot on the table with a red face and cheeky smile.

“at least you didn’t spill all of them” you mused as you grabbed a glass for yourself and namjoon playfully nudged your shoulder.

“that was one time.”

“one time but it still happened kim namjoon.” you teased and he rolled his eyes at you but still clinked your glass with his and you quickly held your hands up, gesturing him to wait, namjoon waits patiently with his glass still in the air.

“what happened near han river?” you wiggle your eyebrows at him and you think you’re kidding yourself when you see namjoon blush a little.

“i met someone, and i only know their name, but i feel this kind of connection, you know? like i was supposed to meet them” he wistfully says, his eyes sparkling just a bit as he recalls his memory and you smile at him, he sounds so hopeful and you couldn’t be happier for him.

“what do you plan to do?”

“chase the feeling? all i know is, i’m going every day until i don’t feel anything anymore” namjoon is very sure of his answer and you’re more than impressed.

“good luck with that, lover boy” you tease lightly and namjoon scoffs at the cringey nickname but then starts the ever so exciting conversation about whales that you’ve been looking forward to for a long time now.

you don’t do a lot of the talking, much like in any conversation you take part in, you always let the other person speak more and namjoon loves talking, you love listening, so it really is a perfect conversation.

you are so invested in the fact that whales actually sleep while standing, you don’t pay attention to anything happening in the room around you, you tune out the entire room, you are definitely a little drunk now because the room is spinning a little and whatever namjoon is saying with the most interest in the world, is nonsense to you at this point but you still listen, nodding from time to time to show him that you’re listening.

“y/n? i thought you were staying home” you snap your head to look at where jimin’s voice comes from, the sudden movement making you a little dizzy and namjoon points behind you and there he is, jimin standing with his coat on his arm with a surprised expression on his face.

“hello hyung, have you talked to hoseok hyung lately? Is he doing better?” jimin directs his gaze to namjoon, not even waiting for you to answer but it’s not like you would have said anything, you just play with the hem of your dress as they keep talking.

just with his presence, you feel like you’ve sobered up.

you don’t know how to feel with jimin here, people walk past him, greeting him excitedly and he is equally excited to talk to everyone.

you want his attention and he keeps giving it to anyone but you.

and you know you sound petty, because jimin would never intentionally not talk to you, he just enjoys company even if it’s unfamiliar and you don’t.

it also doesn’t help that jimin looks good, he always does but today he’s put in a lot more effort than usual, his hair is slicked back, he’s wearing a crisp white shirt tucked into his black jeans which makes him look dapper, there’s a lone silver earring hanging and he’s even wearing his beloved chanel necklace which rests neatly on his smooth skin, his fingers are adorned with delicate rings and you feel weak in the knees by just looking at him. you’re not the only one though and that annoys you.

since he’s walked in, you’ve taken note of how many people turn to look at him with pleased grins, and then whisper to each other about how he looks, some even wishing that they go home with him tonight and you just don’t know how to feel.

you’ve never been bothered about this, jimin was very easy on the eyes, it wasn’t a secret that he was easily a lot peoples crush on campus and you never cared about it before but tonight, that’s all you can think of with a scowl on your face.

“i think i’m going to head home, thank you for the drinks joon, i will send the money when i reach my apartment” you hop out of your bar stool and take your purse, not bothering to say goodbye to jimin who is more than caught off guard when you don’t hug him goodbye like you usually do, namjoon doesn’t question you, just nods and gives you his famous dimpled smile and lets you go your merry way.

jimin’s eyes follow you as you slowly push through people and attempt to leave the place, and he doesn’t know why but something in him tells him to run after you, which is exactly what he does, jimin ignores everyone who tries to talk to him on the way and catches you right outside the house, you’re looking through your purse for something and upon hearing the door open, you turn to see jimin breathing heavily while looking straight at you, and you immediately feel your palms sweat a little.

“what are you doing out here?”

“why are you leaving already? i just got here.” jimin has never been one to beat around the bush so the forwardness of his question doesn’t throw you off.

“i’ve been here for a while and it’s getting late so i’m going to leave.” It isn’t a total lie but it isn’t the truth either.

also, you keep paying attention to everyone but me and i know i sound stupid but i want your eyes on me is something that stays at the tip of your tongue and you don’t let him know that you look at him in a way you shouldn’t, you think of him in a way you shouldn’t, your feelings are making you selfish, possessive even and it’s driving you insane.

but you can’t tell him any of that, you can never tell him how you are starting to feel about him.

jimin tilts his head at you, scanning your posture, it’s just too much of a coincidence that you decide to leave right when he arrived and he lets you know exactly that.

“i don’t believe you, you’ve been acting strange lately.”

“i can’t do anything if you can’t believe something this simple, there’s literally nothing else going on” you lie straight through your teeth and you want to pull your hair out at the pure frustration you feel, your fingers nervously fiddle with the heart charm necklace jimin gave you for your birthday this year and it feels like it’s burning on your skin right now.

because fuck, he knows, he has noticed it, you thought you were getting away with it but you’re not.

“what are you even doing here? aren’t you supposed to be on your date? the same date you cancelled movie night for?” you can’t help but be petty, ridiculously petty even and you know that now, you’re definitely not acting like yourself when jimin throws his head back with a groan, he doesn’t understand why you seem so bothered and defensive all of a sudden.

“i told you i’m sorry about movie night.” jimin whines, but there is a pleading tone to his whine, a pleading tone that you ignore.

“no, you didn’t and you aren’t answering my question about your date either.” you quickly correct him and he pushes his hair back roughly with his fingers, a habit you’ve chastised him about a lot of times, you almost reach to slap his hand away from damaging his hair like you usually do but you hold yourself back because nothing feels like how it used to feel.

“it didn’t go well, we agreed that we just didn’t have that spark and that we’re better as friends, that’s all and i didn’t want to go home, so i came here and imagine my surprise, i see you here sipping shots with namjoon when you told me you were going to stay home and eat ice cream.” you scoff with raised eyebrows at how he turns the tables on you because his tone is so accusing as if you were sucking faces with namjoon right in front of him and it further annoyed you.

“i don’t need to tell you everything, you’re not my dad and you’re acting like you walked in on me and namjoon doing something we shouldn’t, and i can’t believe you’re making this about me when this is very clearly about you, you never even let me know you were going on a date until the day of” you point a finger at him with your anger practically radiating off of you and jimin just shakes his head at you.

“and you know that? movie night is cancelled from now on” you cross your arms over your chest as you say this, not letting any vulnerability show because it hurts to cancel something that meant a lot to you and jimin lets his mouth drop open at your words.

“what do you mean movie night is cancelled? you’re doing this because of this one time, just because you want to be petty?” jimin asks you, his voice raising with each word and it becomes so hard for you to fight your tears because you hate it so much when people yell at you, especially when people you love yell at you.

you sniff a little and look away from him, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down and facing him again, your heart breaks at how utterly gorgeous he looks even under this dim light, it’s like the moonlight dances on his skin, his eyes are still shining, his rings are sparkling around his fingers, his earring keeps swaying with the wind and his hair is slightly out of place but still well kept and it breaks you because you can never call him yours, you can’t call this beautiful man anything other than your friend.

“not just to be petty, i’m just done getting ditched, it clearly doesn’t mean a lot to you because this isn’t the first, but the fourth time you’ve cancelled without letting me know and i’m tired of looking like i’m desperate and following you around when you probably don’t even care about me” your voice is small and tight as you say this, and you’re not sure if you’re even talking about movie night anymore, you feel like you’re indirectly letting him know that you don’t know what this feeling is, this feeling that is burning your chest and heart everyday and this feeling that makes you want to push him away and leap to hug him tight at the same time.

jimin grows silent at your heavy words and somber expression, he doesn’t know when this argument became so huge, he doesn’t understand why you don’t look at him when you speak anymore, he also doesn’t understand why he feels like he wants to comfort you when he’s supposed to be angry, jimin has never felt this lost in his life.

“y/n, where is all this coming from? you know you mean the world and more to me” his voice becomes a lot softer, a lot lower, almost into a whisper, and you wished he didn’t say the words he did, you wished he didn’t talk like you were so special to him, because that is just fueling the raging feeling that’s settled in your chest.

“please talk to me” he begs with his hands reaching out to you and you want to run away, which is exactly what you end up doing.

“i need to go, don’t think too much about this, we’ll talk it out later but i need to be alone right now” you scratch your neck while you say this, refusing to look at him, and jimin feels his heart slip at the abrupt rejection you hand him. before he could do or say anything to convince you to stay, you quickly walk away from him and disappear into the night, and all jimin does is watch you leave.

-

you didn’t end up sleeping that night, all your mind could think of was jimin.

your skin still burned from that last look he gave you, the confused, lost look with his lips turned down and it was noticeably clear that he was upset.

jimin was always so happy and bright, he had his moments but when you were with him, to this day, he’s never looked at you like this.

and it took you the entire night to understand that the way you looked at him changed, you don’t think of him as a friend anymore and that you weren’t annoyed, you were jealous of all the people he’s talked to, you were jealous that he was going on a date with someone that wasn’t you.

you feel like someone has suddenly placed a lovesick filter over your eyes or maybe it’s how you have always looked at him but realizing it scared you, you couldn’t lose him, you would be incomplete without him and you were almost sure that he didn’t see you like you saw him, it was obvious with how active his dating life has been since the beginning of college. you don’t blame him for that though, he can do what he wants, it’s your fault being a coward with your own feelings.

you couldn’t think of one thing that jimin has done to show his interest to you in any way other than how a friend would.

that entire night, you lay with a heavy heart filled with feelings for your friend, your good friend who’s done nothing but support you, you pushed him away because of your selfish feelings and you hate everything, you hate that you somehow started to like him, you hate that now when you see his hand, you want to hold it and swing it around, you keep imagining scenarios of domestic things you two could be doing if you’re together and it only hurts you more.

-

after that disastrous night at the party, you never talk to him again, he never talks to you either, both of you don’t attempt to contact each other, instead you start avoiding each other.

you sit alone at lunch now, sometimes namjoon sits with you, sometimes it’s jungkook and his girlfriend who are honestly good company, they managed to make you feel single but still included you in every conversation but never did jimin even come close to where you sat, you’re not even sure if you’ve seen him around the cafeteria.

you stop going to the bakery in your free time to keep him entertained at work, jimin still looks up every time the door dings, full of hope that you’ve come to him but you don’t, and he’s left sighing while gazing longingly at the seat you usually occupy, he plays with the same heart charm necklace dangling on his skin whenever he thinks of you, but it only makes him sadder.

“i didn’t know beavers mated for life” you look up at namjoon as you bite off the apple in your hand and namjoon shrugs, jotting down the daily log for the library.

you started spending a lot more time with namjoon or just in general, in the library because it’s so calm here, you need that kind of calm or you might just go insane.

“and i also don’t understand how you manage a bakery and library at the same time” you point at him and namjoon chuckles a little at your accusing tone.

“it’s not like i work full time here.” he rolls his eyes and continues doing the little jobs assigned to him.

“but you’re always here.” you almost yell at him and he enjoys seeing how frustrated you get with his perfect capability of managing to work at two places at the same time and still do well in both while not feeling overwhelmed.

“i’ll teach you one day, don’t worry” and just as you’re about to throw a witty comment at him, a hand reaches out from behind you and places a book in front of namjoon, you would recognize that hand anywhere.

“jimin, it’s been a while since i’ve seen you here” namjoon grins at his friend who gives him a tight-lipped smile, you don’t acknowledge jimin’s presence, grabbing a random book off the counter and acting like you’re reading it, namjoon’s eyes dart over the two of you, you don’t look at jimin and jimin looks very stiff standing beside you, he isn’t even smiling like he usually does.

yikes, namjoon wants to be anywhere but around the two of you because the tension is so obvious, he almost considers jumping out the closest window but the fine he would have to cover would be too much for his student wallet.

“just needed it for an assignment hyung” jimin offers with a dull tone and namjoon just nods, quickly scanning the book for jimin and he notices how jimin’s eyes keep darting towards you but you don’t even lift your head, namjoon isn’t even sure if you’re breathing with how tight your shoulders look.

“good to see you here, y/n” jimin says, in a way too formal of a tone, and he looks disappointed when you just ignore him and continue reading, he sighs heavily with guilty laying his heart over and silently thanks namjoon, his steps are slow as he walks away, you immediately loosen up once he’s gone and exhale deeply.

“didn’t know you were into human beings and their many pleasures” namjoon gestures to the book you’re holding, it’s a book with sex tips and you want to smack your head over and over again with it just so you don’t have to see namjoon’s cheeky grin right now.

“you could’ve at least told him hello” he says lightly but there is a scold in his tone, his eyebrows are furrowed and he isn’t joking around anymore.

“it’s just complicated joon” you mumble sadly and namjoon takes the book away from you, looking at you pointedly.

“you should go after him and try, i don’t want you to regret this” he simply instructs and goes back to doing his work, namjoon’s right and you know it, you take in his advice slowly, jimin couldn’t have gone far, the library is huge and it takes a lot of time just to exit it, and if you run now, you could catch him.

but what would you say?

you decide that you will think about that on the way to him as you slide your chair back and start running.

what will you say?

would he even say anything back?

does he hate you?

you run and run, until you see his sage green cardigan just peeking around the corner, you fasten your pace to catch him, and grab his shoulder right when he almost leaves the building. he turns around grimly, like he was expecting that it was you.

“y/n” he says softly, but he also shrugs your hand off his shoulder, your heart clenches in place with how his voice and his actions differed so much.

“looked like you were having fun with hyung, i didn’t know it was so easy to replace me in your life” his eyes are ice cold, all the warmth you have associated jimin with since you’ve met him, disappears right in front of you and your words stay in your mouth because what will you say to that?

“jimin, why are you speaking that way? there’s nothing going on between us, you know that” you try to reason with him, and he shakes his head like he doesn’t believe you, scoffing a little and you feel hurt at his reaction, because this isn’t the jimin you know, he’s like this to people he doesn’t care about, he’s never like this to you of all people.

“maybe i don’t know, but you don’t have to explain anything to me, goodbye” he says with a straight face and you don’t understand how he seems so indifferent with hurting you, and you don’t say anything else as he takes one last look at you and leaves you right at the exit.

-

it hurt a lot that day, to be treated as any other person in the world, and not someone who actually meant something to jimin, and you can’t bring yourself to blame him because you weren’t all that different from him, you also weren’t treating him like you used to and it was only a matter of time before all that ignorance blew up on your faces.

and you know now, it’s glaringly obvious that you like jimin, you’ve liked him for a while and the only way you could manage coming to that realization was by pushing him away, which was stupid on your part but how else were you going to handle knowing that you were probably in love with someone who was your best friend?

you’re not sure what made you drive over to jimin’s apartment the very next day, maybe it was just knowing that even rejection wouldn’t hurt as much anymore but keeping your feelings to yourself will just be damaging to you and your friendship, as your best friend, he deserved to know how you actually felt, he was the last person you wanted to lie or hide from.

you shift on your feet as you stand in front of jimin’s room, you’re hesitant to knock or enter like you usually do, what are you even doing here? you can’t just tell jimin how you feel, what if he starts to hate you? or even worse, he never wants to see you again?

you could handle rejection but you’re not sure if you can handle not being around jimin anymore.

you take a deep breath as tears line up your eyes, why is this so hard? why did you have to like jimin the way you do? you can’t do this, not today.

you decide that you will tell jimin another time, you’re not ready to lose him yet but just as your feet back off from the door to turn and leave, you hear the door open and you’re frozen in your spot, your heart racing down the hall as jimin steps out with an equally surprised look on his face.

he gulps, tightening his grip around the bag he’s holding, he didn’t expect to see you anymore, not after he practically blew up on you when you were just trying to make amends.

“i-i was just going to throw the garbage” he nervously mutters, holding up the black bag in his hand and you nod while fiddling with your fingers as he purses his lips, alternating looking at you and the wall behind you before he sighed and finally decided to do something instead of standing around like a fool.

“wait inside, i will be back” he instructs, opening the door wider for you and you just give him a tight smile and step in, watching as jimin disappears out of view and the door close behind you. you never feel weird coming into jimin’s apartment, you spent half of your first year here rather than in your dorm room because simply his apartment was so cozy and a lot more spacious.

jimin earned a lot from the bakery, be it in the form of tips or his paycheck because the bakery was just very high-end, you used to love coming here and doing your assignments or playing board games with jimin, but it is weird now, you feel like you’re intruding on him which is the last thing you want to do.

you take off your coat, and settle on the sofa, throwing your head back because you can’t believe you’re going to tell jimin that you like him and potentially ruin a very good friendship but were you two friends anymore? you haven’t talked for days, the last few conversations you’ve had with him aren’t how friends talk and you want to make some sense out of it but you don’t understand anything yourself.

the only thing you’re sure of is that you like jimin, might even love him and that’s what you are going to tell him.

“sorry, that took long” jimin lets out a small chuckle, as he steps into the house and you are already sweating, you wave him off, muttering a it’s okay as he sits down on the sofa, at the other end, away from you. the distance hurts but it was appropriate considering your situation.

“jimin look, i’m going to make this quick because i really don’t want it to seem like a big deal” you jump right into it, you turn to him and he immediately straightens up in his place, showing you that he is listening.

“i’m not sure what exactly happened or why you thought that way, but you said that i replaced you with namjoon and namjoon, is just, a very good friend, i literally only talk about animals with him, me and namjoon are not like us, we will never be like how we both are so i just wanted to take that out of the way” you stand up in the middle of your explanation, it’s a nervous habit of yours, pacing around while talking and you see jimin sigh, in relief or exhaustion, you’re not sure but you continue before you lose all courage and run away again.

“another thing is, i like you, love you even, not how a friend should.” you pause, there’s no turning back now so you gather the little bit of strength that you can and continue but you don’t dare to look at jimin, you’re not ready for that yet.

“i’ve truthfully not been able to see you as a friend at all, like friends don’t get jealous which is exactly how i get when i see you around others, i feel like dragging you out of the room and having you all to myself and it sounds stupid but that’s how i feel, friends don’t look at each other like i look at you, it’s not in me to see you as just a friend anymore, i can’t keep lying to myself and to you, it isn’t fair on either of us” you put your hands on your hips and hang your head low.

you’ve said it, it’s out now, jimin’s heard it and he hasn’t moved an inch and the rejection you feel from just his stoic posture has you wanting to wail into your pillow and disappear into thin air.

“so yeah, that’s what i wanted to say, you don’t have to give me a reply or anything, and i understand if you don’t want to talk again, take care” you mumble shamefully, your voice cracking in the middle and it’s taking everything in you to not cry in front of him.

you sniff as silently as you can and take your coat, not turning back to look at him.

“y/n wait, you didn’t let me speak” jimin finally talks from where he sits, his face is as serious as it was all those days ago and you want the ground to swallow you up just to protect yourself from whatever gentle rejection he will give you.

you hold your breath as you watch him getting up from the couch and walking over to you, slowly like he has all the time in the world and you really just want him to say what he wants to before you start crying right here.

jimin reaches and stops right in front of you, you don’t look at him and his face softens at your nervous stance, he brings his hand up and you stiffen even more when he reaches your collarbones and slowly takes hold of the necklace you two share.

“you know what else friends don’t do? this” he lifts the heart charm necklace from your skin and you gape at him, your heart racing in your chest as he smiles down at you.

“i might give attention to people around me but i don’t give my heart just to anyone, y/n, and if i gave it to you, you can’t think that i see you as a friend, i’ve never seen you as a friend, i’ve seen you like a lover, always admiring and always from far away, but i don’t have to stay away anymore, so thank you for not being a coward like me, i love you too, i love you the most.” he drops his confession subtly, and for a second, you think you hear him wrong, but when you look up to finally meet his eyes, you see the way he looks at you. it’s the same way you look at him.

and that’s all the confirmation you need, you drop your head on his chest and groan loudly because you almost had a panic attack just by imagining the different ways this could go, you definitely didn’t think you would end up with your head on his chest but you don’t mind, it feels nice and warm, it feels just like jimin.

“couldn’t you have just said it earlier? i was ready to usain bolt out of here” you complain and he laughs above you, pushing your head in further into his chest and softly patting your head while circling his other arm around you.

“that would’ve ruined the suspense” he lightly jokes and if you weren’t as blissed out as you were, you would have punched him in the arm but your loved up heart can only lift your eyes to glare at him.

jimin looks starstruck, like your eyes hold all the galaxies in the world and he’s swimming in them, even your glare softens just by looking at him, he lifts the pad of his thumb to brush against your cheek in a such a tender way that you want to melt, you want to melt right into his arms.

“please never look away from me again.” he adds seriously because he’s missed looking at you, he’s missed looking at you with all his love and care settled into them and you nod wordlessly, pulling him in closer and rubbing your nose with his, making him giggle lightly.

and right then, you feel the bubble you’ve dreamed of, building itself steadily around you with the pure joy and love radiating off you two and you feel complete and safe.

you never thought you could make a bubble of your own, and you didn’t think that jimin would feel so right in your arms, and you definitely never thought that you would be so comfortable even with your most vulnerable emotions worn on your sleeve.

but you aren’t scared anymore, you aren’t running anymore, you don’t want to slam your head on a cafeteria table anymore, you don’t think jimin would let you do that from now on to be honest and you’re so glad that he’s proved you wrong, several times over, wrecked all your beliefs and still made you feel the way you do.

you’ve always wondered what love is.

and looking at jimin’s face, he looks like love, jimin feels like love too, jimin feels like something you want to fall in deeper for.

it’s like jimin is love itself.

and you have your answer right there in front of you, love isn’t some grand gesture that ends in happy tears, love also isn’t what they show in the movies, but love is definitely the out of the world feeling you expected it to be, and you’ve learned what love is, love is jimin.

love is yourjimin.

hell in heaven - j.hs.

genre: angst (4k)

summary: because falling in love with you was both the best and worst thing to happened to him. (fools!universe)

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no one’s seen hoseok since that day.

the day that you two broke up.

many turned up at his doorstep only to be brushed off, even his closest friends jin and yoongi couldn’t get him to come out of his house and when they showed up with all his favorite foods, they couldn’t help but notice the dark circles that covered his usually bright eyes, he looked like he hadn’t eaten and none of his energy remained, he couldn’t even force a smile for his brothers, they left without a word from him.

can a break-up really do that to a person? ruin them to the point of no return?

because that’s what it looked like to everyone. the jung hoseok they knew, the one who used to embrace everyone, the life of every party he’s been to, was no longer the jung hoseok that stood before them.

but people knew, how much he loved you, it was obvious with the way you two used to run around campus giggling and cuddling the whole time, known as the campus sweethearts, everyone used to watch in awe as you both proudly showcased your love to everyone, and now, all of that felt like a dream to hoseok, a dream he’s been harshly woken up from.

even right now, with all his friends staring expectantly at him with beer cans in their hand, not all of them faniliar with each other, their common link being namjoon and hoseok alone, with a cigarette dangling from his own hand, hoseok doesn’t feel ready to tell what happened between you two, he doesn’t know if he’s scared of the reaction or scared of living through memories that he wants to forget. he doesn’t want to forget you however, he wants to forget what you two had, because both of you were hurt at the end. and the last thing that he wants, even now, when everything has been over, is for you to hurt.

he’s tried to wish you pain, he’s tried to hate you, but every time your last moment together stops him from thinking that way.

you left because you had to before it killed one of you.

“you look better now” jin offered with a weak smile, it pained him to see his once ever so bright friend become nothing but a clump of dull energy. hoseok grimly nodded to that, he did look better now that he started eating and working out more, while they were merely distractions, hoseok still enjoyed having some normalcy come back to him.

they nervously looked at each other, not knowing what to say as hoseok stared ahead at nothing, even yoongi, who usually knew how to break the ice with a joke and make everyone comfortable didn’t utter a word, their friend’s state had silenced them all. hoseok could feel the silence, he knew it was because of him and it was suffocating him, he didn’t blame his friends for being quiet but rather blamed himself for the sour mood.

“jungkook” hoseok softly called out and jungkook immediately leaned forward to his direction, eagerly waiting for his hyung to say something.

“i heard you got your first job and tattoo, and you never even told me, isn’t that too unfair?” hoseok light heartedly joked and jungkook had a rosy blush on his face as he nodded happily, just glad that he was at least talking.

“i started working with jimin hyung at joon hyung’s bakery, and the tattoo just kind of happened, one day i just went to genius lab and asked yoongi hyung to do it, i didn’t even think of a design till i got there” jungkook filled hoseok in with the details of his life from the past few weeks.

“can i look, at the tattoo, i mean?” jungkook immediately got up from his seat to circle around hoseok and showed him the beautiful tiger lily that covered his forearm, hoseok lightly traced his fingers around the tattoo with a small grin on his face, marveling at the intricate design.

“ah jungkook, you’re telling me you designed this? no way, you have grown up so much.” warmth and nostalgia filled hoseok’s voice as he looked at jungkook with the eyes everyone was familiar with, sparkling and filled with love, jungkook almost started crying right there after seeing him look alive after so long.

“i did, i designed it myself, we can design my next one together.” jungkook’s word held a promise, he was going to design his next one with hoseok and he was going to ink it on his body.

“how has everyone else been?” hoseok asked, leaning back on his seat as jungkook returns to his and everyone starts filling in with everything they’ve been up to

jin mentions how university is kicking his ass with five assignments every week, yoongi fills in about how much this one girl keeps annoying him, namjoon explains how bike rides around the river is the most he’s doing these days, jimin shyly mentions his crush on his best friend and the others break into loud ooh’s at that, taehyung is cursing out his professor who won’t bump his subpar grade to above average and jungkook stays silent, only letting a few chuckles slip every now and then with how dramatic some of them got.

and suddenly, as if they’ve run out of things to fill the void, they fall dead silent, jimin looks at hoseok who visibly inflates after the youthful energy in the room dies as quickly as it revives.

“hyung, i’ve been worried sick about you, and i really am glad that you called us to meet after so many days, but i can’t sit here and watch you suffer silently so please tell us, we’re all here to listen to you” jimin pleads with hoseok suddenly, his voice strained and weak with eyes widened and lips pursed as everyone else silently thank jimin for taking the step that they were all hesitant to.

hoseok looks up at jimin’s thin voice telling him to get out of whatever bubble he’s built around himself, to finally tell someone what happened and why it’s ruining him the way it is.

“should we pour a drink first?” hoseok offers with a weak smile and once everyone nods, hoseok gets started about the story in his life he wants to erase.

how you and hoseok got together? it was natural, like on instinct you had to be with each other no matter what, you don’t know if that feeling started at that one party where you got too drunk and finally kissed him, or if it’s always been there and you both just kept denying it till you didn’t.

either way, when you finally got together, you both were so giddy and excited about it that you wanted to let the world know that ‘hey, i love you and i would choose no one but you and i need to tell everyone i’m in love because it’s the best thing i’ve ever experienced’.

and it was, it still is the best thing to happened to hoseok but at the end, he knew it was the worst thing too.

he tells the boys everything, from your first date to every fight that led to the end and they could only hear with wide eyes, they didn’t know that a couple who looked so perfect to everyone, would have so many cracks threatening a disastrous breaking apart. hoseok didn’t care if they were listening or not, he’s gotten used to not being heard but he was going to tell them everything regardless.

you both did everything in the world, with hands around the other.

you went to bungee jumping with him, you went to river crashing with him, you did assignments late at night with him, kicking feet with each other and getting distracted every time, you learned calligraphy with him, you learned baking with him even if you both ended up with flour all over each other at the end, you could just laugh and kiss it off because it didn’t matter, nothing else mattered when you were with him.

every memorable thing in your life had hoseok beside you and hoseok has never wanted to experience anything in his life without you in it.

you had your insecurities, he had his, you didn’t talk about your problems, he didn’t talk about his.

because together, you could forget every problem that plagued your mind, you could forget about the world that was hurting you and instead just stare at each other till sunrise.

soon, your problems and insecurities and his, caught up to you before you could run away once again, and everything you loved about each other quickly became things that started to annoy you.

you used to love waking up to his loud good morning, you would wake up and pepper kisses across his face with a sleepy smile on your face, chest blooming with pride that he was your man, later you just stuffed your face into your pillow and begged for him to stop talking. he used to love eating your experiments in the kitchen, either lying about how good they taste, or kissing you in reassurance that you can always do better next time, his own face twisting to a grin every time you would pout at your failures, later he couldn’t hide the grimace on his face as he swallowed and couldn’t bring himself to encourage you like he usually does.

it was the little things that changed, little things that had a heavy weight in the dynamic of your relationship and it wasn’t like you two didn’t notice, every time you would turn away from hoseok in the morning, his smile would immediately drop and he would silently leave the room, his mind heavy with neglect, and every time he scowled at the food you made, you wanted to never enter the kitchen again, you lost all drive to do anything again.

and slowly, the rush you felt whenever you touched him and the way his heart would leap every time you said his name, both of them faded.

that’s when the fights began, small like any beginning but fatal.

even if it were something as simple as leaving clothes on the floor, you both would fight like your life depended on it, yelling out words only to regret them as soon as you say them.

hoseok never wanted to hurt you, but he did.

you never wanted to hurt hoseok, but you did.

at some point, you both got too comfortable with fighting every day, brushing it off like it was a normal thing that happens to all couples, an excuse, a kind of solace to your breaking hearts that it was okay, it was all okay.

it wasn’t okay.

hoseok wishes he could go back and yell at himself for thinking it was okay, it was never okay.

unknowingly, you both would hurt each other to the point of crying all night and then wiping each other’s tears like you weren’t responsible for it, like you weren’t hurting each other, more so like you were hurting yourself while gripping onto his hands that gently swiped across your face.

that was the first thing that broke hoseok.

crying because of you, crying for you and crying when he was away from you.

you were his home, his broken, falling apart, moldy and dying home. but still his home. you would always be his home.

it got exhausting, but you couldn’t stop loving him, he couldn’t stop loving you.

you were the couple that everyone wanted to be, you couldn’t just up and leave because the words that would leave people’s mouths after would only hurt you more.

so, you stayed.

even if you cried every day, you stayed because at least you weren’t the only one crying, you weren’t the only one who was breaking and losing yourself, you stayed because somewhere in your heart, you couldn’t imagine a life that didn’t have hoseok in it.

you loved each other.

but love can only be beautiful for so long.

the mistakes come after the regret.

regret that if you lost hoseok as a lover, you would lose him as a friend, a companion you could lean on, someone who’s with you even after hearing all your stories, you could lose all of that just because your love was selfish enough to make you pay, your love was poison enough to feel like honey.

the mistakes, you’re not sure when they started, maybe it was when you stopped going to parties with hoseok or when you two intentionally went to different parties or was it when you two no longer looked for each other in a full room? you don’t know.

going to parties without your boyfriend and pretending like you’re single was your mistake.

going to parties and buying drinks for others was his mistake.

it wasn’t long before you stopped coming to his dorm at night, instead showing up to class with hickeys that he definitely didn’t give you and you would find someone else’s clothes lying around his bedroom floor.

he acted like he didn’t notice the hickeys and you quietly put the clothes you found in the trash.

it wasn’t that you forgave each other, you just didn’t have the energy to fight for each other anymore, neither of you were on the right, neither of you could blame the other, neither of you wanted to tell another soul about it, an argument would only end in you both admitting you were wrong.

and you didn’t do it. he never did it.

the boys stopped drinking, glaring at the glasses in front of them, frozen with this new information.

“hyung” namjoon slowly muttered, gazing nervously at his friend, understanding a bit of what was going on and why hoseok hasn’t been the same again, hoseok just gives him a pained smile and returns to silence.

namjoon never thought his friend would be capable of cheating, he never anticipated his friend’s girlfriend who would always give him a bubbly smile when she entered his bakery, was capable either.

and that’s when it hits namjoon that maybe people are a lot more capable to hurt than to love.

the thought scares namjoon, it scares everyone else in the room too.

you and hoseok cheated on each other so much but neither of you made the attempt to break it off.

they didn’t know what to think of that, they couldn’t judge their brother, it would be unfair if they judged you when they didn’t judge him, it didn’t matter who did it first, it mattered that you two moved on like it was normal, like cheating was normal, like being in pain when with each other was normal.

and they didn’t know what to say to him as he downed another glass of whiskey like it was water.

so, they simply just didn’t say anything.

they just let him speak.

the cheating didn’t stop, the lies didn’t either.

the love which you painfully gripped to like gripping to stones, was fading too.

and when the love for each other died, so did the love for yourself.

you hated yourself, he hated himself because you and him couldn’t save it, couldn’t save the relationship or your precious love.

you couldn’t save the relationships around you either, your strained relationship with your family only getting worse with the little effort you put in to be together with them.

your life and his were crashing on you, but you didn’t feel anything.

you got used to the burning in your chest with every movement you made and he got used to the sinking way his heart fell every time you hurt him.

it was like you kept denying, denying and denying, one shot of vodka and one night with someone else at a time, till you couldn’t anymore that something was very wrong with you two.

you only remember how you felt when you came one morning to see another woman in his bed, sleeping peacefully next to him and you didn’t say anything, even if you wanted to yell, kick her out and then yell at hoseok too.

you didn’t say anything, just closed the door and walked off.

hoseok remembers the way his heart twisted in his chest when he came to your apartment only for you to be wearing another man’s t-shirt, he ignored it, he didn’t say anything about the t-shirt, or the fading marks on your neck and clavicle.

you and hoseok were foolish enough to believe that it was just a rough patch, something that you will get over soon and you could slip into that honeymoon phase you used to float around in, often getting excited at the smallest action of affection from the other, something as simple as hoseok kissing your forehead before going to class was enough for you to hope that everything will be okay and hoseok would just be happy if he didn’t find someone else’s scent on you when he hugged you in class.

but your relationship was like a torn paper, no matter how much you try to put it together, it just doesn’t look the same anymore.

and you were the first one to realize that.

you stared at hoseok from your side of the bed, even in deep sleep, he didn’t look like he was resting, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth twitching from time to time, it was obvious he was thinking a lot, and that’s when the weight of everything fell on you.

you hurt him, the one person you promised you would love, you hurt him.

you might have even broken him with how tired he looks.

he didn’t walk like he used to; slouching and trudging his step.

he didn’t talk like he used to; his voice had changed, slower and hoarser as the days go by.

he didn’t smile like he used to; his smile was forced, pained even.

and his smile, oh you used to love his smile, you used to love being the reason for his smile too.

you broke him.

and that killed you.

the first tear was silent and fell on the pillow, immediately leaving a stain on it, and then you cried, you cried and cried as sunlight poured into your room, your hands covered your mouth as your heart squeezed in your chest and hoseok woke up in a startle at the sound of a sob that escaped from your mouth. he hurriedly got up and looked around and then at you. he pulled you close to look if you hurt yourself somewhere and when he didn’t see any apparent injuries, he looked up at you again with teary eyes, he couldn’t bear seeing you in so much pain.

you didn’t stop crying, his grip on your shoulders trying to shake you back into sanity and his voice which urgently called out to you felt too distant to be true.

“i-i can’t find what’s wrong, please stop crying, please just tell me” he hurriedly said, softly wiping your face, frantically checking your arms and head again, searching for anything that could’ve hurt you but it was your heart that was finally bleeding after being plugged up with everything for so long.

“how could i hurt you?” you wailed, pushing your head into your hands, and hoseok paused, his tears building up again as your shoulders shook from how heavy your sobs got.

hoseok couldn’t deny the way his eyes-tinged red at your words, he couldn’t deny that he felt his own heart being ripped from his chest because you were blaming yourself when he wasn’t any better.

“i hurt you too” hoseok muttered defeatedly, his hand falling from your face onto his own lap as he stared off to the side.

defeat, that’s all he could feel. for someone who is used to victory, this was new, and he didn’t like it.

“we keep hurting each other hobi, why?” you asked him helplessly, your voice and his nickname were painful for him to hear and he shook his head, he didn’t know how to tell you that it will be okay because he wasn’t sure himself.

“y/n, it’s normal, happens to couples sometimes, we just have to hold o-“ he reaches for your hands, holding them tightly and rubbing circles on them, he knew you weren’t going to be happy together anymore but he wanted to try, he wanted to know if you could feel the same microscopic hope he did.

“that’s a lie and you know it” you bluntly said, voice hoarse but sure, and his grip falters so does his tiny bit of hope.

you look ready to leave and all he could think of was how to stop you.

“just listen to me, please” he begged, and your heart breaks at his desperate, slouched over form, you silently brought your hand to his forehead, pushing hair off from it and gently patting it back, sniffling every so often. your touch makes him flinch and then sigh shakily, it’s been so long since you’ve touched with affection and not venom.

“we can’t do this anymore; you know we can’t” you whisper as more tears fall down your face and you don’t miss the way he sobs a little and pushes his head into his arm.

he did know.

he fucking knew this was coming.

he’s imagined ways this day would come and nothing could have prepared him for this moment.

was this the end for you two? after all you’ve been through, you were going to end at 5 am on a random morning while crying into each other’s arms? is that what you’ve come to?

you slowly cup his cheek, allowing him to bury his face into your hand and cry, every time his tears touch your skin, you break a little more, and you don’t stop yourself from caressing his skin carefully, like it was the last time you will touch it.

“we’re just scared to be lonely” hoseok lifts his head in a shiver, voice laced with realization and you nod shamefully.

you didn’t stay out of love, you stayed because you didn’t know who would you go to if this was over.

love is a tender pain, and you’ve both experienced all sides of it. especially the worst part of it.

and with that said, hoseok hated himself for coming to that realization, he hated himself for knowing what was wrong with you two.

he wished that he just remained oblivious to everything, he wished that you never got up from the bed after he said that, he wished that you didn’t pack your clothes that were left in his closet, he wished he didn’t hear how you cried as you stuffed your belongings into different bags, he wished that you didn’t kiss his forehead and give him a final, weak smile before you left his room, he wished that he didn’t notice your scent twirling in the air, mocking him.

he wished you didn’t leave at all.

he spent many days, in the same bed you left him in, with your kiss lingering on his forehead, refusing to live without you. he lost count of how many tears he cried, he lost count of how many times he reached for his phone to call you and beg you to come back.

but hoseok knew you left for good.

you weren’t coming back.

and he just had to deal with that.

“i haven’t seen her since then, i asked her friends and apparently she went home for a bit, i don’t think i will bother her again.” hoseok ended his disastrous, tragic love story with a shrug.

a story to the rest of them but to him, he felt every word of it and relived through the memories he’s been waiting to forget.

hoseok watched as all of them gulped, they didn’t know their friend was silently going through so much and they felt guilty for not advising him, for not helping him sooner, it was only jin and yoongi who understood that any advice would have fallen to deaf ears with hoseok when he was still with you.

“that’s how it finished?” taehyung couldn’t help but ask, for two people who tried every trick in the book to stay together, you didn’t seem to try at all at the end.

“yeah, it just happened” hoseok says painfully and the boys felt pity, pity that hoseok or you couldn’t come to your senses sooner so you could stop before you got too hurt.

but the damage was done.

and the only thing left with hoseok was the silence that surrounded him and his friends who swore that another soul wouldn’t know about this.

hoseok, in some sick and fucked up way, still loved you. he still longed for the day you would enter his doorstep with the smile he hasn’t seen for so long but he’s glad you have better self-control than him and stayed away for both of your sakes.

for now, hoseok will just miss you until he can’t anymore.

his home, his heaven in hell, he will miss you till he moves on.

fools - k.sj.

genre: angst, fluff (6.7k)

summary: only fools fall for you. (fools!universe)

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the first time you saw jin, it was at 4 am in the ‘24/7’ library you liked to go to. he was sitting all alone at a circular table, staring intensely at the books in front of him, his eyebrows had scrunched up and his lips were caught in between his teeth in concentration. he only strayed his eyes away from them to see you enter the room. blinking owlishly, he gives you a one over, curiously but then returns back to studying, seemingly not paying anymore mind to you.

you set your books in a table far away from his, and sat down in a huff. you don’t like being around people and even if this man is pretty, prettier than you’d like to admit, he still was no exception and you snort when you see all the sticky notes and highlighters he has out on the table.

what a dork.

you don’t give him too much thought either, instead opening up your books and getting lost in them, immediately taking down notes and groaning in frustration every now and then.

you were so lost in finishing your assignment that you don’t notice his gaze linger on you after he deemed it was safe to do so without getting caught by you. and he continues to do so because you don’t bother to lift your head to look at anyone and jin tilts his head as he plays with one of his highlighters while still looking at you.

did you have different textbooks?

because what could be so interesting that you haven’t looked up for the past hour?

jin shakes his head at himself when he realizes he’s been staring at a stranger like a creep for an hour now. he’s got his own papers to finish so he pats his cheeks roughly, mumbling an apology when the clapping sound makes people look at him with an annoyed expression and starts working again.

he feels slightly bashful because he broke one of the rules of midnight libraries which was no sound, absolutely no sound, not even your steps should make a sound. if libraries are quiet in the morning, they should be as quiet as a graveyard at night.

and the next time he looks up from his books, you aren’t there anymore.

this happens a couple of times throughout the days he sees you, he will see you walk in and settle with your books and even he’s checking every ten minutes to see if you’re there or not, you still manage to vanish into thin air when he doesn’t notice.

jin thinks you’re a ghost.

because he can’t understand how you move so quickly and quietly, even when he sees you in the library the next week, he’s startled because one minute he’s happily using his lime-colored highlighter on text that doesn’t need highlighting only to casually look up and seeing you in your usual spot.

and jin is so surprised that he almost falls out of his chair when you give him a side glance. he’s almost tempted to touch your cardigan to see if you’re even real or not because no one else acknowledges you except him. like literally everyone acts like you’re invisible or you actually are invisible and he just doesn’t know.

there’s a reason why no one acknowledges you but jin doesn’t know that.

you see, jin doesn’t think a lot before doing something and now the mystery of whether he’s discovered a ghost or not is greater than any future embarrassment he might feel.

he strides over to you and slightly pulls on your cardigan, and yes, he feels the fabric, you look pretty normal up close, you don’t have full black eyes or whatever shit ghosts have going on, and he heaves in relief.

“so, you’re real, thank god” it’s only after he mumbles those words, he realizes his blunder because insinuating that you thought someone (someone you’re attracted to) was a ghost wasn’t the greatest way to flirt and he definitely knows his answer if he decides to ask you out because you’re glaring at him so hard, he wants to run away.

yep, his answer would be a big fat no.

before he can apologize or explain why he thought you were a ghost or why he pulled on your cardigan, you shove past him with your books held tightly against your chest and leave but not without whispering curses at him the entire time.

jin fucked up, he knows he did and he couldn’t help but think how stupid he was to just randomly walk up to you, still a complete stranger and pull on your cardigan, jin also couldn’t help that you felt familiar to him, in a way he couldn’t explain.

so, the next time you walked into the library, he was about to come up to you and apologize but then he sees how you roll your eyes as soon as you spot him and even when he stands up to try and talk to you, you brush right past him with a scowl on your face.

jin doesn’t know what to do.

he doesn’t want to risk pissing you off even more but he knows that he has to apologize, butyou do look like you are going to kill him if he comes near you. and his life is kind of precious to him.

nevertheless, with fumbling fingers and twitching lips, jin slowly walks to where you are and before he even opens his mouth to speak, you’re cutting him off.

“what, are you going to pull my cardigan again?” you snap at him and he quickly shakes his head, eyes shutting because he cannot believe he got himself into this situation.

“you aren’t wearing a cardigan today” he mumbled and winced immediately when you cocked an eyebrow at him.

what is the fucking deal with him when he is around you?

where is his ‘be respectful, not an asshole’filter?

“don’t get smart with me” you practically growled, irritation sinking deeper into your skin and jin shamefully nodded.

he had that one coming.

“i just wanted to apologize, i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, i’m pretty sure it looked strange but my intention wasn’t that because the reason i even did it was- “he takes a deep sigh when he notices you sitting up straight, curious enough to want to know why he even pulled your cardigan instead of you know, saying hello like a normal person would.

“it was because i thought you were a ghost” he whispered, feeling the embarrassment settling deep in him as he explained and he snaps his eyes open to look at you when he hears your loud laugh. it gathers the attention of everyone else in the library but you don’t look like you care because you’re laughing so hard that your eyes have gathered tears.

jin doesn’t know why but he feels a certain warmth spread in his chest when he sees you looking so happy, even if it is because he embarrassed himself.

“why didn’t you just talk to me?” you said slightly breathlessly as you leaned back in your seat, a wide grin still on your face and jin felt himself smiling back at you.

“what if you were a ghost?” he retorted and you giggled again, jin was loving every minute of it. there’s nothing more ego boosting than someone you like finding you funny.

“strong point, can’t argue with that.” you lifted your hands in surrender and when you saw him laugh with his ears and cheeks all red, you knew you didn’t deserve whatever this handsome man had to offer.

you couldn’t get attached.

you didn’t deserve to be attached with anyone, especially not this guy who’s been making you laugh and forget about everything, even if it was for five minutes.

“okay, apology accepted, you can leave now.” you curtly nodded, voice devoid of any and all emotion and turned to open your books and jin was baffled because you looked so full of life not even a minute ago.

“you’re not even going to tell me your name?” and you don’t answer, instead staring down at your book even if your mind wasn’t grasping anything so jin shrugged to himself and left you alone even if he really wanted to stay and talk, or make you laugh more because you didn’t always look this happy, at least not in the times he’s seen you.

from then, jin didn’t bother you, of course he still looked your way whenever he could but he never went up to talk to you again and you couldn’t help but feel disappointed even if you were the one who pushed him away. a small solace for you was that you didn’t have to worry about getting attached anymore.

but jin is well, he’s jin and he’s hard to ignore.

so this time, you’re the one who looks up constantly with your pen caught in between your lips, you look up to see the handsome stranger across the room from you (you still don’t know his name) he doesn’t look too far from your age and you could only guess that you both went to the same university, you lean a little and squint your eyes to see any identification and sure enough he had a hoodie draped over the chair next to him and it had your university’s name on it.

how come you have never seen him around?

maybe he didn’t hang out near your block but you move around a lot so it’s puzzling that you have never noticed him before.

maybe he just had a tight circle of friends.

the next time you looked up, you saw him snoozing away with his book open in front of him. his precious highlighters are scattered around his head, he looked cute with his full lips and slightly flushed cheeks. absentmindedly, you gathered your books and sat down in the same table, still maintaining a good distance, not wanting to but looking over to see him every once in a while.

you giggled when his alarm rang and broke the silence in the very quiet, very empty library, so empty that it was only you and him, and a couple at the other end of the library but you were pretty sure they didn’t come here to study. jin snapped his eyes and hastily looked around to make sure no one caught him looking like a fool, only to meet your amused eyes.

and even if you didn’t want to, you started speaking.

“no loud noises in the library, don’t you know that?” you mused and pointed to the huge sign over your head which had the rule written on it in huge letters, a cheeky grin on your face only to laugh once more when he hurriedly bowed to you in apology.

he was still cute. and he was still making it really hard to not like him.

“it’s okay, just try not to sleep here, i can’t imagine the position being any comfortable” you chastised, you know this because once you fell asleep and woke up with such a cramped neck that you couldn’t move it for two days. you watched as his eyes danced over your face, pausing for a second or two and then lifting his eyebrow in a cocky way.

“thanks for the concern” jin smirked your way and you rolled your eyes, of course with a face like that, he was confident and that also made him attractive, it’s been a while since you’ve openly admitted to yourself that someone was attractive.

but it hasn’t been too long since you made the biggest blunder in your life.

you sighed, closing your books and thinking that this was enough studying for you today, not failing to catch jin’s panicked eyes looking at you.

you got up to leave, flinging your bag over your shoulder, and walking away, silently wishing for jin to say something and he didn’t disappoint. he wasn’t going to talk to you but you initiated the conversation this time so he took that as a green light to talk to you.

“wait, what’s your name? i’m jin!” he called after you, now standing in his seat. even from where you stood, his voice was clear as day so he must have been yelling.

“well jin, still no loud noises in the library, remember?” you smirked at him and laughed to yourself when you heard him groan and slump his shoulders.

just like that, you were gone. again.

jin doesn’t remember the last time he’s chased after someone but you looked like you were worth the chase so he brought out the big guns. he put a dent in his weekly budget and bought two expensive coffee infused drinks from the café in front of the library. all while he cursed capitalism, the café itself and even god because why the fuck did he have to pay 30$ for decent coffee?

that day, he kept close watch to the entrance of the library to catch you walk in and you did, looking even better than he remembers. as soon as you sit down in your usual seat, he walks over to you after gathering every bit of confidence left in him and you paused from writing your notes when you saw a shadow on them, looking up to see jin standing there with a nervous smile and two cups in his hands.

and dare you say, your heart fluttered.

“what are you doing jin?” you mused and he hated how much he liked his name rolling off your tongue. he hasn’t liked his name this much before, you just made it sound more beautiful.

“what does it look like? i’m trying to get your name.” and with that, he set a cup in front of you, and you see, it was very tempting to just sit here and get lost in a conversation with jin who seemed more than eager about it but it wasn’t so tempting when you remember your mistakes, you have hurt someone else too much to chat over coffee like this.

“i don’t like coffee.” but you can’t say no to jin.

jin sighs and just as he’s about to grab the cup and leave you, swearing to himself that he won’t return and also convincing himself to just drink the two expensive drinks himself, your voice stutters his movement to a halt.

“but there’s nothing wrong with trying it again, i guess” you sheepishly grab the cup and start sipping, not missing the relieved smile that settles on his lips and you smile back.

one conversation won’t hurt anyone.

-

turns out, jin is a lot more charming when he isn’t picking on your cardigan, and even more handsome up close. you almost choked on your breath when he leaned over the table to wipe an eyelash from your cheek. the coffee was good but you almost forgot to drink it because you were trying to find some, really any flaws in jin’s face, you didn’t find any. you tried to see flaws in his personality, you didn’t see any, or you just painted too pretty of a picture of him in your head but he really hasn’t given you any reason to paint an ugly one.

it was all too cliché. even now, bundled in your sheets, your hand unconsciously strokes where he touched you and warm butterflies fill your chest.

but you shouldn’t feel like this. last time you felt like this, you hurt someone and even if it’s been a few years since that, you don’t have it in you to forgive yourself because you really do think you don’t deserve to be with anyone.

and as much as you like jin, you know that’s it’s only a matter of time before he finds out about what you did and you’re terrified.

jin is the only person who has treated you like you deserved niceness in all these years and in your heart, you know you have to push him away, or either of you will get too comfortable to go.

and the idea of pushing him away only seemed to get harder the more days you spent with him later on, it was like whatever you two had was magnetic. you never told him your name though, masking your fear of him finding about you by just simply teasing him more. you would walk into the library and the first thing you saw was jin’s large grin and two coffee cups in front of him, and just like that, your heart felt lighter and you felt like letting your regrets go.

but regrets don’t just go, they cling to you, and they clung to you even when you dreamed of jin, they also clung to you when you wondered about what he was dreaming of, if it was you like you dreamed of him.

-

“so yeah, i cried to myself at midnight while watching coco instead of finishing my assignment and now, i’m doomed” jin, along with hoseok and jungkook, laughed at taehyung who was furiously typing away on his laptop.

“glad to know you can find joy in my misery.” taehyung clenched his teeth in mock anger and proceeded to anxiously check the time once again. from what he told them, this assignment was 20% of his grade and he was given a month to finish it. taehyung is starting it now.

taehyungisdoomed.

magnificently doomed.

“just finish your essay man” jungkook snickered when hoseok shook his head disappointedly at taehyung’s situation. and jungkook also noticed how jin kept looking around the cafeteria instead of laughing with him, his own eyes travelled to where jin was looking and he didn’t know jin found fading posters on their bulletin board interesting but here they were, staring at a particularly moldy piece of paper hanging on for dear life on that board.

“if you want to join knitting club, we won’t judge hyung” hoseok burst into laughter at jungkook’s words, almost spitting his drink out and jin shook off his haze, turning to playfully shove his younger friend off the table. and after flapping hands at each other for a minute and bickering until one of them backed out, jungkook looked a little concerned for jin because jin was never one to zone out or think too much.

“but no, what are you even thinking about?” jin hesitated to speak about you, he really didn’t know a lot about you, he just knew enough to know that he definitely liked you and you spent a lot of time together but you haven’t even told him your name.

and just as he’s thinking about you, he swears that it’s the ghost of you that comes into the cafeteria and you don’t spare a single glance at anyone, walking straight to the vending machine, a couple of eyes turn to look at you and jin misses the way hushed whispers are exchanged as soon as you’re in the room.

jin doesn’t have it in him to walk up to you today, you make him weak in the best way possible and he hasn’t prepared himself to see you in campus. and jungkook notices how jin’s eyes stray towards you, also noticing how he doesn’t look away until you leave the cafeteria.

jungkook knows what’s got his hyung all wind up.

“so, y/n?” jungkook muses, a teasing tone settled in his voice and jin chokes on thin air, he didn’t expect jungkook to know you, let alone know your name.

“you know her name?” he turns to jungkook with wide eyes and jungkook almost laughs at his comical expression, but his humility dies down the second he sees how serious jin looks, he sits up straight and clears his throat. he’s only seen jin serious a handful of times, and he didn’t enjoy any of those incidents.

“of course, i do, everyone does” jungkook shrugs and jin turns to hoseok and taehyung for confirmation. and sure enough, they both nod as well and jin almost lets out a screech at how everyone around him knows you but him.

seeing jin’s panicked expression, a realization dawns on his roommate, hoseok who smirks at his friend proudly after figuring out where exactly he had been disappearing off to these past few nights.

“is she the reason why you have been going to the library every day?”

“nonsense, i just want to get my grades up.” jin nervously utters out as his ears tinge red, he’s never been a good liar and his friends know and they enjoy watching him miserably struggle with his words.

“you haven’t turned in your assignments for two weeks now” hoseok pointed out with a broad, knowing smile on his face.

“are you stalking me?” jin narrows his eyes at his roommate, but his cheeks were definitely red with all the attention of the conversation turned to him.

“hyung, do you really not know anything about her? she literally was all people talked about when i was a freshman” taehyung said, looking up from his laptop for the first time since the past 10 minutes.

“don’t you have an assignment to finish?” jin questioned, raising his eyebrows at taehyung who didn’t seem to care at all.

“i’m failing anyway, i’ve come to terms with it.” taehyung had apparently decided that his luck wouldn’t save him this time and he was just too invested in the conversation they’re having right now to care about the assignment.

“seriously though, i’m still a junior and i know about her, how do you not?” jungkook piped up, looking at jin incredulously and jin sighed, there was no winning for him here.

“fine, she’s the reason i’m going to the library and i do like her a little but she never told me her name so i would very much appreciate it if you told me.” taehyung, jungkook and hoseok looked at each other for a second, silently debating on whether they should tell what they know or not. all while, jin’s eyes danced over the three of them as they continued to stare at each other and after coming to an unspoken agreement that jin indeed needs to know, taehyung finally breaks eye contact with them and looks at jin.

“y/n, she cheated on her boyfriend in her second year.”

jin didn’t know to react.

he imagined a lot of things about you but you didn’t look like a cheater, and he felt betrayed even if he wasn’t involved with you fully. it just felt like everything he knew about you became a blurry mess that he wasn’t sure of anymore.

how many other things have you been hiding from him?

and jin has never been the judgmental kind but cheating, to him, was pretty serious.

“her boyfriend was devasted and he apparently pulled this sympathy card, got everyone to feel bad for him and that made everyone hate her for a while, he was the campus go-lucky guy so when he got all sad, people got defensive and shit, it was a whole thing. from what i know, she lost a lot of friends after that and her now, ex-boyfriend continues to mop around about it, he’s like the typical good guy who got his heart broken so yeah, no one bothers to talk to her anymore.”

so that is why you’re always alone in the library.

-

you didn’t see jin in the library for a while and it confused you, even hurt you a little bit because even if you know you didn’t deserve his presence, he made you feel alive. you missed that feeling of not being an empty void which spoke two words at the most. he actually pulled sentences, paragraphs even from your mouth with little effort. you missed being around people in general but you understood why no one would talk to you.

because you were a cheater.

you broke someone’s heart.

and you knew you fucked up. you knew you fucked up the minute you woke up in someone else’s bed.

you knew you fucked up when you saw the disappointment, anger and then sadness fill your then boyfriends eyes as you told him what happened.

and it didn’t help that he was actually a kind but difficult person to deal with, it didn’t help that you stopped loving him a long time ago, you even doubted if you ever loved him at all.

but those were excuses to anyone who would hear them.

excuses from a cheater.

because cheaters and liars have all the excuses in the world.

that night became a catalyst for the end of your relationship and there was nothing else you needed more, but it felt like you stepped out of a cage only to fall into a hole.

your ex didn’t take the news too well, and word spread around so quick that even your teaching assistants knew about what happened and they shamed you, for your actions, for your underwhelming reactions to any provoking done by anyone because honestly, you felt numb.

you thought college was going to be this fun period in your life that you would enjoy to the fullest, which is why you even moved from home, you were excited to start this new chapter with an open mind and it all crashed down on you before you could embrace it. it all fell apart right in front of you and you couldn’t do anything but watch as your reputation crumbled into fine sand.

and you deserved it. nothing could excuse cheating, not even the shell you called a relationship, not your boyfriend who was actually a good person and didn’t deserve what you gave him, nothing could change that you were exactly what they called you, a cheater.

it took everything in you to not roll your eyes when he went around campus crying to everyone about how you betrayed him and absolutely broke him, and you felt like a horrible person because you were the reason he was hurt. but you didn’t feel anything. you still don’t feel anything.

but there was one emotion that filled you to the brim and tumbled over. one you won’t admit you feel.

regret.

regret filled your every inch with dangerous opacity, regret that you couldn’t love someone as nice as him, regret that you had to hurt someone to move forward, regret that that one night absolutely destroyed everything for you, regret that you’ll only ever be known as a cheater and nothing else in all your college life.

it’s painful to experience the end of something even if you’ve been anticipating it.

you didn’t love your ex-boyfriend but still the end of whatever you were, it killed you just as much as it killed him. there were still nights that you would dream of tracing his features with your hands in the dark while he softly hummed his favorite song to you, there were still days you missed going to the cafeteria with him and just being all wrapped up with him in front of all your friends, there were still days you missed what you were even if it weren’t good for you.

regret rots you from the inside out, slowly kills you but you act like nothing affects you but every whisper, every stare that lasts too long on you, it halts your movements and makes you close your eyes in pure anguish.

“i get that it’s 4 am and no one is actually okay at this time but why do you look like you’re trying to hold in a fart?” jin’s voice broke your daze, your eyes bouncing around to find where he was, only to see him standing to the side of you while holding two cups, and jin thought he was kidding himself when he saw your face momentarily give him a relieved smile.

“just thinking” you replied, voice a little shaky and nervous. and you straightened your posture when you saw jin looking at you with more seriousness in his eyes, none of his usual playfulness or mischief found, his face was blank and not lit up in a smile like it usually was.

did he find out?

the possibility of him finding out about what you did unnerved you a little. and the tension lingered in the air, with both his sour mood and your overactive mind.

“you know, you don’t have to get me this every time, i know these are expensive as fuck” you cheekily said when he slid one of the cups over to you and jin swore, he could’ve kissed you for being so understanding of his thin wallet.

“thank you, i will no longer be getting us drinks from that place, it’s like every time i go there, they increase the prices.” jin complained loudly, an angry pout on his face as he threw his hands around to exaggerate his frustration. and you bit your lip to stop yourself from laughing out loud at his red face. but you felt relieved that he didn’t seem as rigid as he looked when he came in.

“that’s true, they switch up their prices almost weekly besides, we have a coffee machine here in the library, why did you go till there?” jin’s mouth dropped as you said this.

this library had a whatnow?

“what do you mean, there’s a coffee machine here?”

“yeah, it’s right there, we have three of them actually” you pointed to the opposite side of the room and jin almost cried out in frustration when he saw the brand spanking new coffee machines, all shiny and ready to be used.

“it even makes caramel latte” you added in, just to humor his expression a little more. and his jaw drops further.

so, he almost blew his month’s allowance to get you coffee when there was a perfectly (and free!!) working coffee machine right here?

“great” he pushed his tongue into his cheek to try and conceal the frustration bubbling in him and it took everything in you to not snicker.

“why haven’t you been coming in these days? grades got too good?” you gave him a small smile, only to see that all the tension that dissipated had built back up when his eyes flashed with realization as to why he came here and he straightened himself back to same posture he had when he walked in-rigid and stern.

“i actually wanted to talk you about something” you knew exactly what he was going to ask you about but you settled to hear it from him first, you could already feel your stomach sinking, and you were foolishly hoping he would ask you about the coffee machines again.

“oh yeah? what is it?” you asked with pursed lips while your fingers nervously fiddled with the lid of the coffee cup and jin took a deep breath, contemplating whether to ask you or not but ever the forward person he was, he did.

“i heard a lot about you, just recently actually, i’m pretty sure you know what i’m talking about. but i don’t know how much of it i can believe so i want you to be honest with me and tell me what happened. before we go any further with whatever this is, i want to hear it from you, y/n.”

“so, you got my name?” you delayed answering his question by taking notice of him saying your name for the first time. your name falling out of his mouth made you shiver a little, you swore that no one else could say your name like he did, you ached to hear it from him again and again.

“it was surprising that everyone around me knew but i didn’t.” he shrugged, taking his coffee cup and peering at you from the top, waiting for you to talk.

you see, jin actually thought of never talking to you again, because your situation just felt too messy and he didn’t know if he wanted to get involved.

but then he also felt he was being unfair by not knowing both sides of what happened so what better way to solve his confusion than ask the person who is directly involved?

besides, jin has blown too much money on coffee just to keep talking to you to give up now. and he doesn’t even like coffee.

“you need to be honest with me, i’m not here to intimidate you into talking or whatever, i’m here to listen to your side” and something about the way his eyes softened when he saw your hands shake a little, and then taking your quivering hands in his made you want to tell him.

you wanted to tell him everything with just the pure openness in his eyes and his willingness to hear you out before he concluded something about the situation, it warmed your heart that at least one person wanted to see how you felt instead of calling you names behind your back.

even if you might never see him because he could be disgusted with what you did and what you felt, you told him. you told him what happened, you told him the feeling that pooled in you after that fateful night, the same feeling you wouldn’t even admit to yourself. you even told him how you wouldn’t change anything except someone getting their heart broken because your relationship ended even before you cheated on him.

you told him everything you wouldn’t even whisper into the night.

jin listened to all of it with utmost attention and you even searched his eyes for any signs of judgment but all you saw was kindness.

kindness you didn’t feel like you deserved.

“you know, you keep saying he was hurt but from what you said, you were hurt just as much.” jin was right. but you didn’t reply because you were scared of admitting that if it broke his heart, it had broken you all over.

you were just as hurt over what happened as your ex-boyfriend but you felt like you didn’t deserve to feel pain when you inflicted it. but pain is a two-edged sword, you felt the same pain just in a different way. it was still pain, it was still you crying every night because you had no one to wish you good night except your parents, it was still you avoiding going into the cafeteria just to avoid the way everyone looked at you, your pain was still pain.

and no one but jin understood that.

“do you regret it?” he finally asked, pushing his cup away and looking at you pointedly.

“i regret cheating on him, not the breakup” you replied honestly, gulping a little and he hummed.

there was a tense pause in the air as you warily eyed him for any reaction but he didn’t give you any, keeping a stoic face and you felt like you couldn’t breath with how silent everything got, thankfully he gave your heart a break by speaking again.

“that’s fair enough. next time, let’s just get the coffee here.” he ended his sentence with a gentle smile which almost made you cry out of happiness because he didn’t run away.

he listened to the worst of you and stayed.

and you clung to his words ‘next time’ more than you thought you would.

-

jin meant what he said, he understood you were having a hard time too and he assumed alienation at college would be pretty harsh considering almost everyone knows everyone on campus. it must have been hard for you when everyone knew about your worst mistake and talked about it like it was teatime gossip.

but jin’s met tons of people in their worst moments, he’s learned to appreciate and admire the strength that individuals have to overcome shit instead of judging them for it.

he met jungkook when he seemingly had no aim and was just a lost young boy who was temperamental or sometimes too shy, he met hoseok when he was going through a rough breakup and was still trying to find himself, he found taehyung when he was a lot sterner and lacked understanding of others. and all his friends have been through their own shit, jin’s been through his fair share of shit too, he’s seen all of them and himself grow into who they are today and he’s proud of them and him too.

but jin knows you’ve already grown through the experience, now you just need to heal and be accepted again, and if no one else does that, he will. not because he was a hero or something, he just felt he couldn’t miss out on knowing someone like you just because you made one mistake.

jin didn’t give a shit about hushed whispers or the weird you would sometimes get when you held his hand, he could hear them calling him a fool for being with you but again, jin was determined to give you a chance for yourself and he wasn’t going to back down.

his unshaking faith in you made you believe in yourself too, he introduced you to his friends who were just as welcoming as he was. he felt his heart warm when you held his hand tighter each time someone would start a conversation with you, like you still needed him even with all those people around, jin felt like he could die a happy man, it didn’t take you long before you got comfortable around people again. 

jin couldn’t be prouder.

even right now, the library is still your favorite place, even after several days of spending time with each other, jin couldn’t deny how much more lively and confident you looked as you sat in front of him. this time with coffee made from the library machines near your hands and jin almost leaps from his seat when you look like you’re going to knock them over, you don’t even notice how his hands reach out and hold the cup still, instead just going back to write on your brightly colored flash cards (you have taken a liking to bright stationery because of him, you’ve even gone on dates to stationery stores just for the heck of it.)

jin feels endeared and lets out a light chuckle, because you look very cute with your eyebrows scrunched, lips in a slight pout as you furiously jot down points, your hair ever so slightly falls on your face, you just seem so into your own world and like you’ve tuned out everyone else.

but he also frowns at the realization that you’ve probably gotten used to not having anyone around and tuning out everyone was the easiest way you could deal with being alone. he knows that feeling creeps back in you even if you are doing better now.

so, he picks up his books and bag in a hurry making you look up at him with widened eyes, and just as you are about to ask him where he’s going, he seats himself right beside you.

he’s determined to never make you feel lonely again.

he’s also determined to prove to you that it’s okay too feel everything you do, be it pain, be it happiness.

he feels like he’s in love? he feels exactly like what they’ve been calling him, a fool.

a fool in love to be more specific, a fool because just by sitting there, you make him want to fight the world for you.

and jin is okay with being a fool. he’s okay with being a fool for you.

belated love letter - k.nj.

genre: angst (2.5k)

summary: a love letter that he’s been writing only gets delivered, because namjoon has a lot to say even after you’ve broken up.

a/n: i made myself cry with this one.

masterlist

namjoon, a person who seemingly has answers to everything, never got the answer as to why you both drifted off.

did you both grow out of love? no, it was evident in the quivering lips and glassy eyes when you saw each other for the last time that love indeed still persisted between you two.

did you grow out of each other? no, namjoon still strongly believes that you’re the most fascinating person he’s met and he remembers how you found his mind to be the brightest of them all.

maybe the love became too much at some point. maybe love just wasn’t enough.

he’ll never know.

but something went wrong.

and it went wrong very quickly, so quickly that namjoon couldn’t even give you the one thing he promised you he would.

a love letter.

“you know, for a world-renowned lyricist, and as that lyricist’s girlfriend, i’ve never gotten a letter from you” you teased him one rainy day and he remembers the breathless chuckle that left his lips.

“do you want one?” he fiddled with your fingers that were held in his hand.

“a letter from the kim namjoon? there’s nothing else i want more” and even as the sky crackled behind the windows, and rain continuously beat them, you both could only look at each other. you looked at each other like ‘damn the rest of the world, i only have eyes for you’.

and that’s when namjoon decided that he was going to write you a letter alright, he was going to write you the best letter ever.

namjoon stared blankly at the words scribbled on the page, frowning every so often, his words were, to put it in one way, powerful. he didn’t know he was capable of feeling such strong emotions but he did know that you brought out the best in him. and the best of him was spilled on this one page that was still half empty.

namjoon felt just as empty.

he wasn’t near breaking down or crying himself to sleep, but namjoon wasn’t happy, he couldn’t deny this hollowness in his chest that’s been lingering for days now and he doesn’t need anyone else to tell him that it was because of you, he knows it. namjoon knows it all except, like mentioned before, why you both ended it but it was an unwritten realization, that it was for the best.

another thing namjoon doesn’t know is why he grabs his favorite pen, the pen he uses to write his famous lyrics, he got a new one for the album they’re working on now and starts filling in the empty space, almost feeling like he was filling himself with the emotions that he misses so dearly.

namjoon was going to give you that letter.

even if you might not want it anymore.

-

it’s been almost a year since you’ve seen namjoon and it felt like time was cruel enough to make that year feel like an eternity. it both felt like just yesterday that you and namjoon were visiting museums together and also like forever since you’ve both cuddled in whenever the weather got worse.

and you don’t know if it was good or bad that you still remember everything.

you remember how he carefully used to handle things that belonged to you because he knew you cherished them, he still broke a few but it’s the effort that counts, how you used to nap in his studio whenever it got too long and always woke up with a blanket wrapped around you, how you both used to skip around parks and also the time namjoon taught you how to finally ride a bike.

you stupidly remember it all.

you were quite sure namjoon had forgotten about you and moved on because you were just a chapter in his story that still had a long way to go. you didn’t blame him, you were trying to forget him as well, it’s just he was probably successful in forgetting you and you weren’t as successful as you’d like to be.

but to your surprise, you came home to a letter in your mailbox. you never get letters, so this left you more than a little curious as you turned the dainty lilac-colored envelope in your hand to reveal an all too familiar handwriting scribbled on top.

‘from: kim namjoon’

you expected a lot of things from namjoon but none of them came close to the letter that you held in your hand. and you couldn’t help the way your heart seemed to skip a beat only to shatter on the ground a minute later. it dawned on you that it could be a goodbye letter, and you hated goodbyes. but namjoon had never liked loose ends, he liked his endings to make just as sense as the beginnings, so you probably shouldn’t have been too surprised that he sent it.

you slowly set down your belongings and walked into your house, placing the letter on table, staring at it for a little, wondering if opening it will only hurt you more or not.

but did you even care if it will hurt?

all you’ve been this year, is hurt.

all you’ve felt this year, is hurt.

so, what’s one more letter? and he bothered enough to send it all the way to where you’ve moved. so yeah, you will read it. you could feel goosebumps rising on your skin as your fingers lightly grazed the paper, admiring his handwriting, namjoon has always had such beautiful writing.

you hastily tore open the envelope and turned it upside down, a single piece of paper, which was neatly folded fell out on the ground, you sat down next to it and with shaky fingers, you started reading the words of the man you used to love, you still love, so much.

to the love of my life, (you still are)

9/10/19

today, with beaming eyes and a happy smile on your face, you jokingly asked me for a letter and who am i to deny you? even with the breaking sky above us, you managed to make me feel like the lightest cloud floating in it and with that, i start this letter, a bare heart and with a hope that my pen doesn’t run out and also that you won’t find it, this is my little surprise to you. i will write it, day-by-day, on days i especially thank the world for giving me you so i hope as the girlfriend of world-renowned lyricist kim namjoon, that you find this satisfactory.

i love you.

19/10/19

i came back to this paper after promising that i will wait for a bit to finish it but you have me breaking all of the promises i’ve made for myself, one of them being don’t fall in love until you’re ready and i was never ready for you and the stars you’ve aligned for us.

but i’m still in love, and i don’t mind it at all.

you woke me up just in time for me to make it to work and because i was in such a hurry, you took over the one duty that i have, breakfast.

at first, i felt guilty that even if you were rushing to get to work, you still didn’t get mad at me for not waking up earlier, you just gave me a sleepy grin when i thanked you. and then i tried looking at it in a more positive light, you work hard for yourself and me and i’m grateful.

i’m grateful to you, even if it is something as simple as breakfast, i’m grateful. and i will start waking up earlier, i want to do more for you.

i love you.

11/11/19

today, we went to pottery together!

and we didn’t manage to make anything and it wasn’t a surprise to either of us because our pots broke even before they could get toasted in the oven. it was just us, a private class in the middle of a forest and there was a mild drizzle of rain from the sky. and now as i write this, i realize whenever it rains, i fall more in love with you, the idea of you and everything about you.

i decided to write again today because it was a wonderful day, we laughed a lot and we smeared a lot of clay on our face and you had the nerve to call my pot a masterpiece.

y/n, as much as i appreciate your kind soul, my pot literally looked like shit.

and you laughing right after you said that it was a masterpiece, kind of gave away the fact that you didn’t mean it.

but i’ll let it go because you looked cute. you always look cute.

and oh look, you’re calling me for dinner, i will come back to this again.

i love you.

22/1/20

you weren’t yourself today but that’s okay, we all have our days, it did hurt when you didn’t let me hug you but again, i understand. you had a difficult day and i wish i could take all your pain away, all your troubles, i wish i could burn them to the ground and not even let the ashes remain.

but i can’t do that.

i can only watch you lie to me that you aren’t crying, that you are okay.

i hope you know that you don’t have to lie, never to me.

i can see the tears on your face, i’m sorry i’m not strong enough to come and wipe them away, i’m scared that you’ll only go further away from me. and to me, you’re lost today. i hope you find your way back to me. i will wait with open arms.

i love you.

22/2/20

love is as deep as a sea, i remember reading that in a book. and i didn’t fully realize the meaning till i met you.

everything has made sense since i’ve met you. and it’s true, love is like a sea, i keep discovering new things about it every day, i keep discovering all these habits of yours, i’ve started speaking in the way you do and even the members have noticed, they haven’t stopped teasing me since this afternoon, even right now, they’re hovering around me and trying to read this letter but don’t worry, i have it out of their view, this is only our little secret.

you came to the studio, you brought all of us food and drinks with that grin on your face that i love so much, the members immediately bounced to you and that is when i saw how perfectly fit in my life, from my view, you, and the members, are my family. and my family is so lovely.

what did i ever do in my life to have all of you in it?

okay jungkook’s getting nosy, let me stop here.

i love you.

16/4/21

so, it really is over.

i don’t have it in me to say it’s okay or it’s all right.

because it’s not.

i’ve never been a good liar, i couldn’t hide about how i felt about you then and i can’t do it now.

y/n, i’m exhausted, your face used to be the first thing i saw every day when i woke up and somehow, even on the worst days, that was enough for me to pull through because i could fall asleep next to it.

i can’t do that anymore, and even if it’s been a year, it’s just sinking in for me now.

but i’m dealing. i feel empty but i am not totally miserable. the members don’t say it but they miss you too, they keep looking at me sadly but they’re also cheering me up, don’t worry about them or me too much.

i’m sending you this because i couldn’t keep a promise even if i tried when we were together so i want to make up for it, i’m keeping this one promise, i hope it’s worth it.

sad to say this, but my pen did run out, this is a new pen, it’s a little gritty but it works, and i don’t know why i’m telling you this but the pen i started the letter with lasted just as long as we did, so now, i see that as our hourglass, i just wish it hadn’t run out so quickly. i hope i got to say i love you to you one last time before it ran out. it’s all useless now anyway.

but even if it hurts, even if i haven’t moved on, i’m happy.

i’m happy i got to know someone with a mind as beautiful as yours.

i’m happy i spent my days loving you. because loving you is bigger than any award i’ll hold.

i hope you look back at us with fondness and not regret.

and i hope you move on and someone else loves you, maybe love you better than i did because you deserve it, you deserve all the good in the world. i’m sorry i couldn’t give it to you.

but remember me, yeah?

i love you.

the end,

from your kim namjoon.

the letter has smudged ink near the end, from both his and your tears and you desperately re-read the letter again, like you were grasping to any pieces that were left of you two. it slightly crumbles from how tight your grip was on it.

and this isn’t the story in which you run after him to get back with him after you read this, you don’t go knocking on his door waiting for him to answer and then finally fall into his arms to end your pain and his.

no, this is the story in which you clutch the cream-colored paper to your heart and silently cry your eyes out because the worst realization of reaching the end of it was, both that it was the last words that you’ll ever hear from namjoon and also that no one would love you like he did.

he will remain as that one beautiful chapter in your story that you’ll go back to visit every now and then, only to cry at the ending.

and you feel a bitter gratefulness that you got to experience a part of your life with him so you don’t mind that it hurts, you’ll kiss this chapter a sweet goodbye.

but you have your own loose ends; you have your own feelings that need to be spilled. you feel like you will explode if you don’t close this chapter in your story. you might just never finish moving on to the next one if you don’t. you too, have a lot to say even if you two are over.

so, you grab a pen, hover over your desk with a faint dangling light above you, a small smile dances on your lips and you start writing to him,

a belated love letter.

let you go - j.jk.

genre: fluff, crack, tiniest bit of angst (2.4k) (request for @ofrosesandteacups) i hope you enjoy reading this one as much as you liked your previous one, thank you for your request :]

summary: he doesn’t want you to leave but jungkook isn’t cruel enough to stop you either.

masterlist

america.

now that jungkook’s seen it, it’s all his mind can think of and frankly who can blame the poor guy?

“to y/n,

we have been reported of your consistent pattern of growth and development in our seoul branch. we would love to have someone with your skills, expertise, and experience to join us in the states, particularly our main branch in los angeles, you will be guaranteed a contract of at least six months, it can be negotiated for further extension and your salary can be negotiated to a number that we can together deem fair as well. if you are interested in this offer, contact us on xxxxxxxx and our company’s e-mail is open to anything from you. we hope you consider us, thank you.”

he doesn’t know how many times he’s re-read the same sentences but all he knows is that the gravity of the situation isn’t fully sinking in for him. he bites his lip nervously as he shuts the laptop down, grimacing at the wall behind it. he feels his eyes starting to water from the pure frustration that filled his body.

you could be leaving.

he checks the date and it’s been almost a month since you’ve received this so you’ve probably already made a decision.

any minute, you might leave and not tell him for his own sake. you know how sensitive he is and you’re too nice to break his heart, so you would break the news to him very gently and then leave while pressing a kiss to his forehead. (jungkook knows everything about you at this point and he’s 99% sure this is how you’re going to do it. and he’s right).

and fuck him but that offer sounds great, good pay, steady contract, main headquarters, and as a cherry on top, it’s where your family lives as well. your family that he knows you miss a lot, every time they video call, you have the brightest smile on your face as you excitedly tell them everything, but as soon as the call ends, jungkook’s never pointed it out but he’s seen the way your eyes gather tears sometimes, he fucking knows how much they mean to you. and this offer is perfect, you get to be with them again.

you really have no reason to reject this.

but.

BUT.

hear him out.

as selfish as he sounds, what about him?

are you going to leave him behind, forget him, move on with someone else all while being successful and growing even more in your career?

why does that bother him so much?

he should be happy for you; this offer works out for you in every way possible and this is one more step for you to go to a remarkably prominent position in your career.

heis happy for you.

he’s overjoyed that you’re finally being recognized for your hard work and that people are coming with offers to you that they wouldn’t just give to anyone and he also knows that a higher pay can make you feel more at ease financially and you can finally buy that car you’ve had your eye on (jungkook offered to buy it for you both and you told him you would break up with him if he did so he’s steering clear from the car).

“what did the wall do to you, my beloved?” you stifle a chuckle when you come out of the bathroom to see jungkook wide-eyed and staring at the wall like he was burning holes into it. at the sound of your voice, he quickly snapped out of it and offered a small smile.

you didn’t know that he knows about the offer, and he doesn’t want you to know that he knows about it. but he wanted you to know that he will love and respect any decision you make because this is your life and it’s fine if you have to break up, he’s going to cry himself to sleep for a week, give a two-day break and then get back to crying because if he cries for too much, his eyes get puffy and stay red for too long and for heavens sake he can’t have anyone at work ask him during lunch why he’s crying with a literal sandwich stuffed in his mouth, and-

he needs to get a fucking grip, he’s spiraling.

“you know that i love you, right? and that you can do whatever you want because it’s your life and i’m no one to stand in your way” he blurts out as he pretends to read a book, hand rubbing his chin as if he was in deep thought.

congratulations to jungkook for never learning the art of being subtle.

“um thanks? but i already know all that baby” you laugh a little at his sudden confession for his unfaltering support to you. he lightly nodded, his mind clouding with thoughts of you leaving him for someone else who wouldn’t be such a burden to you and you deserve so much be-

and you interrupt him.

can’t a man think without being interrupted in this house?

“jungkook, babe?” you call out to him from where you stand, fluffing the towel on your hair with an amused grin on your face.

“yes babe?” he turned to you with sparkly eyes and a wide grin at your nickname.

“you’re holding the book upside down” you muse and then get back to drying your hair. he freezes and looks back at the book.

he is indeed holding it upside down, he’s been holding it this way this entire time.

wow.

how did he not notice that?

because he was too busy thinking of scenarios in which one of your work mates in america would swoop you right up with a dashing smile and that american accent you find hot (you don’t, but jungkook is too far down his own rabbit hole to correct that), and you would bat your eyelashes at them, they would wink at you and you would blush while looking away and then shyly accept their offer to dinner. you would forget all about jeon jungkook from seoul, korea and get engaged to that person, and jungkook, who is still very much in love with you, would attend your wedding and then cry at the reception while he drinks that champagne you like, he will walk up the stage with a forced grin and congratulate you and then fucking watch you drive away in your honeymoon car with that person.

and jungkook’s feeling just toasty about the whole thing. sometimes he wonders if he would do well as a drama writer. (he would do excellently.)

this would be a good time for one of his friends to call him so he can get away from this.

“now that i know you’re not actually reading, what is going on? you’ve been on edge for the past hour, you know you can tell me anything, right?” you sit down on the bed with a soft smile aimed his way and he sighs, putting the book down.

fuck, you’re too good to him.

when you speak to him in that gentle tone, jungkook doesn’t have it in him to reject your request. and even if you aren’t asking for anything, jungkook wants to give you the whole world. because in his eyes, you deserve the whole world, fuck the world, jungkook thinks the universe should be grateful that someone like you exists in it, he finds beauty in your very existence.

that’s how deep he is in it for you.

but he’s also afraid that he will never be able to give you the world he’s sure you deserve, he knows he gets busy and that he cancels dates and even if you don’t show it, he knows you get disappointed sometimes, he knows that you want to spend every day with him and trust him when he says he would rather stay in with you all day instead of stepping out but he has no choice in this. he knew what he was getting into when he chose the idol life and he can’t, doesn’t want to, back out now.

“i know that you get hurt when i can’t come on dates” he says, finally looking up to see you adjust your position to face him even more, eyes alarmed at his serious tone.

“jungkook, i know what i signed up for when we started dating, and yeah, it hurts sometimes but it’s okay, i know that you don’t do it on purp- “

“please let me finish” he whines out, and you immediately purse your lips, letting him talk.

“for me, you deserve a lot more than me. we don’t go out on dates enough, on a week night, we see each other for thirty minutes before going to sleep and in the morning, we’re both rushing to get out of the house and babe, i love you, a lot, and i never want to hold you back from what you deserve, even if it means leaving me behind” you open and close your mouth like a goldfish because you don’t quite understand where he’s going with this.

is he trying to break up with you?

“so it’s okay if you choose to go to america, the offer is great, i looked up the building and it’s so close to your parents home, so you can even meet them for lunch, and i’m sure there’s a lot of attractive men and women in america for you to meet and i completely support that, your happiness is all that matters to me” he concludes with his voice cracking and eyes all lined up with tears. he can’t imagine waking up and not seeing you but that’s okay, he can bring back his plush toys from namjoon to cuddle. better yet, he’ll just bring namjoon home so he can have someone to cuddle when he’s sleeping. namjoon wouldn’t mind.

what else are friends for?

“you’re such an idiot.” you fall back into the bed with a huge grin on your face, your heart feeling all giddy from his words. but jungkook isn’t enjoying this half as much as you are.

he’s what now?

did he hear you right? did you just call him an idiot?

“did i say something wrong? i just wanted to let you know that i support you all the wa-“

“jungkook, i’m not going to america, i rejected their offer a long time ago.”

you what now?

well, that’s a relief, you could’ve told him ten minutes so he wouldn’t go through two panic attacks but jungkook’s finally feeling like he can breathe again.

you’re not leaving, thank god.

now that he thinks of it, he was so fucking dramatic for nothing. nothing !!

“then why was the stupid mail open on your laptop? i gave myself a heart attack with that shit” he complains loudly as you happily laugh at his misery, cooing and kissing his cheek when he falls into the bed next to you.

“i used that mail to get myself a raise here, i showed it to the branch manager here and let him know how much they were willing to offer, and it didn’t take long for him to agree to a higher price just to keep me around” you have a proud grin on your face and jungkook is in awe at how smart you are.

“my little genius” he sings while peppering kisses on your face, which you giggle into and push him away after a minute.

“i’m more than happy that you’re staying but why aren’t you going back though? you miss your family and this could be a good opportunity to see them” he gets all quite and worried after he says that.

he doesn’t want you to reconsider, he wants you to stay but he knows that this could be good for you. he doesn’t want you to waste your choices.

“i miss them, but i’m fine with video calls and visits, and they are too, we are making it work somehow and besides, if they see me every day, they’re going to complain about everything i do to which i say no thank you, i’ll keep my ass here” jungkook laughed as you scowled at the thought of your parents eventually getting sick of you.

“and besides” you looked at him with those same gentle eyes that he’s so fond of.

“i have a family here too, and i can’t bear missing them” and jungkook cried, like actually cried, he scooped you into his arms and rocked you both back and forth while crying because oh my god, you think of him and the members as family and he’s sure that he’s going to marry you no-

too far.

but even when he’s crying into your arms and you’re patting his back, completely amused at how sensitive he can be, he’s still more than relieved that he doesn’t have to worry about some white dude hitting on you. the mental image itself made jungkook want to punch a wall.

and yeah, jungkook is definitely putting a ring on it. (how can he not, you called him family !!)

his heart can only take so much.

now, he’s going to use his perfect drama writing skills to plan out the most dramatic, fantastic proposal that anyone’s ever seen which will make you cry.

he’sdead set on making you cry because he’s sick of being the only one who cries in your relationship. (you didn’t even cry while watching titanic and jungkook was half-convinced you were heartless, and would have continued to believe that if it weren’t for you loving him the way you do, he loves you but he’s going to see you cry when he proposes, just wait and watch.)

so don’t interrupt his thoughts again please, a man needs to think in his house.

“should i buy that car as a celebration of you staying?”

“i will go see which flight tickets are available to america.”

“okay, no car.”

genre: fluff (3.6k) (request for @carpediem1219) i hope you enjoy reading this, thank you so much for requesting ! :]

summary: yoongi likes you and wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but he will spill it all to millions of his fans on vlive.

masterlist

you, jimin and taehyung met in high school, and man, were you three a force to be reckoned with. skipping classes together and sitting at the back of the class talking till the bell rang or till the teacher threw a piece of chalk on one of you, being the ‘fun’ classmates and sometimes accompanying them to practice and eventually meeting the other members but because you were still a student with an academic career and they were on their way to be idols, you three unfortunately drifted away a little after high school was over.

you only met them a few years after their debut, when they were no longer park jimin and kim taehyung from class but world-famous artists (and taller) jimin and v, and you were no longer a high school student but a overwhelmed and stressed out university student (you sadly didn’t grow too much from high school, heels are your best friend), though you were in a happy place at life, you had people around you that made it feel like the world wasn’t crashing on you, those people included your two high school mates now.

you had only watched their videos and shows from a screen, silently cheering them on, never once thinking that you would meet again but fate is funny sometimes, so you met by chance, and because of how strong of a trio you were and the countless memories you shared, you immediately found comfort in each other like the old days, wanting to catch up on the time you lost together, knowing it was fate that you three were together again, and spending as much time as you could considering their busy schedules and your own mountain of assignments.

either way, you made it work. meeting them again also meant meeting their members again, and you really did a double take at how much they’ve grown over the years, and they grew so well too, all of them much taller, with sharper features and deeper voices and despite the early awkwardness which caused you to escape into one of the two’s rooms, you eventually found a way to make small talk with each of them without wanting to run away so according to you, you handled meeting new people well even if it made you anxious, so an A+ for you!

the closest you got to the other was to jungkook and that was because both of you loved video games so when jimin and taehyung were pre-occupied, you would often just disappear into jungkook’s room and joined him, you had a quiet but meaningful friendship.

you never noticed yoongi though that much, the guy who followed your every movement in the dorm subtly, trying not to give away his interest in you too much but because yoongi was a bad actor, everyone except you knew about his little school crush on you.

and you see, yoongi was easy on the eyes, a handsome but quiet man with similar interests as you or so you’ve heard, you were intrigued at first but you felt that he was too out of your league so you always dismissed his acts of kindness like bringing you your favorite dessert whenever he goes to the café (he goes there only for you but will die before he admits it) or always laughing a little more loudly at your (usually not that funny) jokes and checking in on you and jungkook playing by asking if you’d eat or drink anything, you dismissed all this because in your head, yoongi was just that nice guy; the kind of guy who will go the extra mile for people around him.

so, you forced yourself to bury your crush on him.

but one thing that you couldn’t just dismiss as kindness was when you spent the night at their dorm in the guest room (because your roommate had someone over), breaking your head over an assignment that you had to finish in an hour and then prepare for a test you had the next day.

and while you were crying and stressing out over that as quietly as you could, yoongi came into the room, more than a little concerned when he went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water only to hear whimpers (he initially was more concerned that there was a ghost in the dorm), he handed you the glass he filled for himself and settled beside you, quietly asking how he could help. in your delicate state, you poured out your worries in between sobs and he patiently listened, patting your back hesitantly once in a while and after you were done ranting, he simply asked for the material you need to go over for the test, taking it into his hands and wheeling away from you, just telling you to focus on your assignment for that moment.

though confused, you trusted him which is why you did what he told you to, feeling a little more at ease with his presence in the room, and after you finished your assignment, you turned to see him making flash cards with important questions for your test and your heart did a little dance in your chest. you thanked him with a beaming smile, excitedly sitting down next to him on the floor and helping him sort them out and yoongi felt himself getting shy with you so close to him, his body jerking away a little every single time your skin brushed against his.

you spent the rest of the night going through the flash cards together, sometimes getting off topic and just talking about random things, yoongi felt himself getting tired sometimes but sleep was the last thing on his mind when you looked so happy next to him, he felt good that he could help take at least some of your worries away.

by the time you two were done with the flash cards, sun peeked through the curtains, reminding you of how much time has passed since you’ve both sat on that floor together, and honestly, it didn’t feel like any time to you at all, and now, you had a submitted assignment and you were prepared enough for the test to not fail. you both lazily made coffee together, not speaking at all but sneaking glances at each other when you were sure the other wasn’t looking only to make accidental eye contact sometimes. it all felt so delicate, and so pure, but also with lingering thoughts that you would jump on him if you could.

you both didn’t utter a word, and just let the comfortable silence settle in beautifully.

you left the dorm with taehyung and jimin (who offered to drop you off at your college because it was in the way of wherever they were going) you looked very happy, with your crush on yoongi creeping back from where you buried it, and occasionally grinned at nothing at all, which creeped the soulmates out and when they asked, out of concern, what the fuck was up with you, you just simply gave them a happy sigh, confusing them even more.

and all was going well, your test went swimmingly and you felt like you were on cloud nine.

but good things never last, do they?

as soon as you returned home from college, head still in a happy daze as you tried to come up with ways to pay back yoongi for all his help. a lunch, or a dinner, or you could buy him something he wants. you fished your phone out to ask jimin and taehyung for help with the ideas but your eyes widened as you saw the number of notifications you already had and fifty messages from them.

“what the fuck happened?” you screeched as soon as you picked up taehyung’s call and you heard him let out a heavy sigh.

“listen, whatever i’m going to say, just know that we’re already figuring things out for now and it will be settled soon” you wordlessly nodded, preparing yourself for the worst and the worst didn’t disappoint. you heard shouting in the background and winced a little.

“okay so, take a deep breath first, remember me and jimin dropped you off today? yeah, some paparazzi took photos of you hugging me and jimin goodbye and it’s all over everywhere now” your mouth dropped open as you heard him continue to talk but you couldn’t listen anymore.

you had been pretty careful and you knew what this meant for their career as idols, you knew it wasn’t good for them and you felt horrible.

“taehyung, i’m so sorry, i’m sure you’re in a mess right now and i am so sorry for putting you in this, i don’t know what to say, tell jimin i’m sorry to- “you profusely apologized with tears lining your eyes.

“hey” taehyung interrupted you.

“what?” you whimpered.

“can you shut the fuck up? you sound crazy” you scoffed at his words, of course he was going to show you attitude even in this situation and he chuckled at your annoyed mumbling of curses directed to him.

“we’re fine, we are talking about it with the company and they’re going to release a statement, just try to cover your face when you go outside or better yet, just to be safe, don’t go out for a while, your semester is over for now anyway” he instructed and you obediently nodded, not wanting to blow this anymore out of proportion, knowing that staying low was the best decision for now.

“and also, this kills us too, but we won’t be able to meet for a while” he winced when he heard your disappointed sigh but you quickly forced a small smile.

“that’s okay, stay safe, okay? and eat well, and i’m sorry again, i was being inconsiderate to your career and responsibilities.” you heard him groan when the shouts behind him got louder.

“you don’t have to apologize, it’s okay, it happens, now i have to go and get a lecture from our manager so call you later, love you, bye and we’re also sorry that we couldn’t hang out normally just because of our careers” you heard both concern and regret in his voice, you knew he loved his job but sometimes he just wanted to go out without being scared of cameras following him and before you could squeeze in your words of concern, the line went dead.

you threw your phone aside, any thoughts of romance draining from your body, you felt a raging headache just from thinking of the number of people who would leave nasty comments on your photos, you quickly deleted your social media accounts, and informed concerned friends that everything was okay, and then slumped into your bed to avoid the temptation of looking at some of those comments, you knew they weren’t going to be good, and you couldn’t do anything about them so you tried to push all thoughts of wanting to open your phone.

it worked.

you didn’t touch your phone until absolutely necessary for three days, only reaching for it to answer calls from your parents and jimin, taehyung and sometimes jungkook who was more concerned than you thought, you assured them that you were okay.

on the first day, bighit released the statement.

“we would like to address some rumors concerning our artists park jimin and kim taehyung (v) of bts, we confirm that the person in the photos is just a close friend of theirs, who happened to be hanging out that day, and we ask you to not pry into their personal life, if unauthorized photos are taken in the future, severe legal action will be taken, thank you.”

it was short, clear, and strict.

and you were happy to see that most of their fans didn’t mind at all, saying their private life is theirs and who they are friends with, isn’t the scandal media makes it out to be, there will still a lot who didn’t like it and cursed you out in every language they knew, it hurt you sometimes but you tried your best to stay away from it all. you remained at home, refusing to step out for anything except groceries, which you did while completely covered from head to toe.

yoongi, on the other hand, was pretty pissed when he got to know about the news, he himself had been coming up with ways to ask you out and a situation like this, threw all chances of meeting you out for a while. when jimin and taehyung first told him, he was scared of how you were taking it and it was only after he got confirmation that you were alright and not totally stressing out, he calmed down.

but he still missed you, your gentle smile whenever he opened the door and seeing how you seemed so loving to jimin and taehyung, and how the night with just you two felt so right.

he also remembered how he had promised his fans a live a few days ago and he was almost reluctant to do it because even after a statement, people were still buzzing about it and making up stories about you, but things settled down, not as much as it would be ideal but enough for people to start talking about another idol.

he wasn’t one to back out of promises and it had been a while since he’s met his fans virtually so, he turned the live on, sat back and watched as viewers and comments poured in at an alarming speed, yoongi’s eyes struggled to scan through all of them.

he caught some basic questions, how was he, has he eaten, what has he been doing these days, what kind of music is interesting to him now, asking him to do the little ‘poke the cheek and wink’ trend and him bluntly saying he doesn’t fall for things like that, only to do it a minute later. he was having fun, he loved coming live sometimes, few comments made him really laugh aloud and few melted his heart, and the others um they annoyed him, just like the one he was seeing.

“who was that bitch in the photos with jimin and taehyung?” he read aloud without even realizing it, taking a minute to understand the harsh words, the comments then flooded with more questions about you. he felt himself getting angry, but he remained calm.

“everyone, don’t go around calling anyone a bitch, don’t you think it is too mean? you don’t even know them” he exclaimed and sighed when increased no. of questions poured in about you.

“like the company said, they are a friend of ours, we are close and what you need to know is that they’re genuine, kind and have been great support to us from the very start, i care about them a lot too and what do i say? they mean a lot to me and i like them a lot so please watch your language when you’re talking about them and don’t dig into any more of their life, respect their privacy and ours” he explained, as calmly as he could, and quickly moved on from the topic, feeling slightly flustered after talking with more emotion than he planned to, he also tried to ignore the blunder he made by admitting it on live with thousands of viewers that he liked you.

he meant what he said, he really did care about you a lot, and was okay with it even if you don’t reciprocate that feeling but he still had a nagging feeling in his chest.

and the last comment he saw before switching it off was;

“did he just fucking admit his feelings for someone to us?”

unknown to him, you had watched this entire live, you downloaded the app when jimin and taehyung urged you to and you would leave silly comments whenever they came live just to mess with them, when you saw the notification that it was yoongi, you excitedly clicked on it, watching him with a fond smile on your face but your heart dropped to your ass when yoongi mentioned you, it hurt you a little that they called you a bitch without knowing a thing about you but what you didn’t expect was for yoongi to defend you the way he did or for him to admit that he likes you; you felt all warm and giddy when he spoke about how much you meant to them, or more specifically, how much you meant to him.

and that was kind of the confirmation you needed, to know that your interest in yoongi wasn’t one-sided. because you knew yoongi wasn’t the type to address things like this directly and the fact that he did it for you gave you some hope that you chasing him wouldn’t be in vain.

“hey you, what’s up? it’s been a while since i’ve seen you around here” yoongi almost immediately answered your call and don’t tell anyone that he fell off his bed trying to answer it quickly.

“you know what happened, they told me to stay low but that isn’t why i called you” you fiddled with the ends of your skirt as you anxiously pressed your lips together.

“okay, then tell me, what is it?” yoongi was confused, he had never heard you this nervous before, and it frankly scared him a little.

“since i can’t go out, i was hoping you could come over to my apartment, there’s something i need to tell you” you hated how high your voice got when you said that, cursing yourself internally for being so fidgety.

“um sure? i have work though, can i bring it over and finish it there just in case it gets too late?”

“yep sure, you can do that, i have a desk here, you can set it up” and with that, it was just you and the tv playing some random show as you waited for him to come over.

deep breath.

it’s just yoongi, you’ve known him a long time and even if he doesn’t like you, you can avoid him, you’ve got a plan, it’s going to hurt if he rejects you but you’ve got this!

you jumped in your place when you heard the bell ring after 30 torturous minutes of silence and anxiety, to reveal yoongi in a black hoodie, faded jeans, a black mask covering his face and his fingers dangling a cover with the name of your usual café on it and a backpack lazily drooped on his shoulder. you moved out of the way after a sheepish greeting and you could see his smile even through his mask because his eyes crinkled a bit.

“hey” he simply said, kicking his shoes off and removing his mask, trying to hide how nervous he felt because what if you saw the live?

and is it just you or he seemed to be hotter than the last time you saw him and like he was moving in slow-motion?

and you couldn’t help but follow your eyes to each of his movements.

“i thought we could have some drinks while talking, if that’s okay” he gestured to the bag in his hands a little awkwardly and you hurriedly nodded, the awkwardness surrounding you was throwing you off your game by a lot and you felt your cheeks flushing from embarrassment.

thankfully, you didn’t look like you were alone in the misery as yoongi too was scratching at the back of his neck and turning away to instead focus on taking the drinks out of the bag by heading into the kitchen. you felt flustered and like you had no grip on whatever you were doing.

“hey yoongi?” you finally called out from where you stood after 5 minutes of silence ticked by, he gingerly turned around with the drinks in his hand.

just fucking say it.

“the thing i wanted to say, it’s, um fuck” you mumbled at the end, biting your lip, and staring off to your right. yoongi mirrored your action by biting his own lip, his face flushing as he anxiously waited for you to tell him what he wanted to hear.

“it’s just, i like you, like more than a friend like you, yeah that’s it, that’s what i wanted to say” you blurted out, running your hands through your hair when you saw him walking towards you and squeezing your eyes shut, waiting for the rejection.

yoongi, on the other hand, was on fucking cloud nine.

you, yes you, the person he’s been pining over for months now has confessed that you like him the same way he likes you and poor boy does not know how to react, he’s dreamed of this and he surprises himself when he wonders if you’ve dreamed of this too. but being the poster cool guy he is, he nonchalantly walked to you and instead of saying anything, took your hand and placed one of the drinks into it, ignoring the tingling feeling he felt in his chest.

“that’s funny because” he trailed off, not finishing and you sighed, of course he doesn’t like you back, why did you make him come all the way here just for him to reject you?

“that’s funny because i was going to say the same thing” he sheepishly muttered with a shy smile spread on his face and your mouth almost fell open from how surprised you were.

“you beat to me it, congratulations” he jokingly clinked your plastic cups together which made you laugh in joy, he then started walking away to sit on the couch only for you to pull on his wrist to stop him in his tracks.

“wait so you like me back right?” you asked with wide eyes, fingers curling around his wrist tightly as you desperately hoped he would say. yoongi chuckled a little at how you looked like a deer caught in headlights, reaching up to ruffle your hair.

“if that wasn’t obvious enough, yes, i’ve liked you since a long time now and i don’t want to waste another minute so should we do a little netflix and chilling to make up for it?” he suggested with a slight smirk and mischief dancing in his eyes, turning his wrist to take your hand in his and dragging you to the couch.

needless to say, he didn’t get any work done that night.

genre: angst, fluff (1.4k) (request for @luvrsofbts) i hope you like this one, thank you so much for requesting and i hope i was able to reflect what you wanted in the fic :]

summary: you don’t love yourself but yoongi sure does.

note: this fic deals with body insecurity which might be a sensitive issue for some so please keep that in mind when you’re reading, and this doesn’t imply that my fics include readers only having a certain body type. everyone is loved, respected and celebrated here that includes all genders, identities, sexualities, and body types.

masterlist

from the beginning, you and yoongi looked and felt like ‘meant to be’.

you were just that couple from the start, both incredibly infatuated, and completely whipped for each other. ever since your first date which ended with the cliché ‘his jacket on your shoulder’ and ice cream, and a careful kiss at your doorstep after he dropped you off, yoongi has been enamored with everything about you.

but you always had a hard time believing the sweet nothings he whispered into your ear every night, each compliment made you feel warm and loved, but the cruel part of you made you believe that he was just saying all that because that’s just the kind of person yoongi is, he’s a good person, the best person you know and the fact that he likes to be the little spoon whenever you’re cuddling endears you to no end. after a particularly rough day, yoongi loves to just drop his bag off his shoulder and let your warm embrace fix everything about that day.

yoongi always showered you with compliments every second he was with you, you let yourself hear them but never feel them, because to you, yoongi just had to say that because you were his person. and even if yoongi would never give empty comments to anyone and you knew that he really did mean what he said, you just couldn’t see what he saw. you never understood why he chose to love when he could love anybody else.

and after a brunch with some of the people from his job, you were convinced that yoongi had a wide array of people to choose from, people prettier than you, more successful than you, people whose bodies didn’t look like yours.

it was no secret that you didn’t like how you looked, you always felt like your body was something that you needed to change, you had tried everything from vigorous workout sessions to spontaneous diets, none of which worked in your favor, the diets damaged your health a lot for a while and you had to work hard on keep yourself fed and full so that it won’t happen again. at the end of any road, you chose though, you still ended up with the body you didn’t like.

and you felt bad for yoongi, he could anyone in the world with his charms and looks, but he was still with you. you felt guilty, like you were holding him back because you were too selfish to let him go and that internally killed you sometimes.

even right now, as you stood in front of the mirror, with a t-shirt on, you blankly stared at your body, not feeling any pride or happiness swell in you as you continued staring, you only felt disappointment, in yourself, in yoongi for staying with you. and your mind drowned in the all too familiar of self loathe filling your every nerve, and each thought made you beg yourself to want to be born in a different body, any body but not yours.

“hey, everything okay?” yoongi’s voice broke you out of your trance as your head whipped to see him taking his tie off as his eyes stayed on you. you hurriedly nodded, knowing that your frantic movement didn’t convince him at all but he didn’t bring it up for your sake, letting you tell him yourself. he just gave you a soft smile, looping his arms around your waist and giving you a gentle kiss on your temple.

“i’ll just clean up and be back in a few” he mumbled into the kiss, and slightly bopped your nose, making you giggle a little as he said ‘don’t’ miss me too much’ jokingly into your ear and you push his chest away from you with a playful scowl on your face, he stepped away with a chuckle, taking lethargic steps towards the bathroom.

you sighed as his frame disappeared out of the room, slumping down on your bed and letting your head fall into your hands because you had enough. you had enough of hating your body to the point of being okay to skip meals, and you had enough of feeling like you weren’t enough and you didn’t have it in you to keep it together anymore.

and as you continued you to cry into your hands, you felt a hand on your shoulder, making you turn back to look at yoongi with nowhere to hide, he didn’t say anything, he just pulled you to him and let you hug him as tightly as you could, for the first time since being in a relationship, you were the small spoon and you threw your face into his neck and sobbed as he softly caressed your hair and whispered, ‘it’ll be alright, i’m here’.

“will you tell me why my precious is crying right now?” he mumbled, as he continued to rub gentle circles on your back.

“i-i’m tired yoongi, i’m so tired” you whined, your voice coming out croaky and defeated, yoongi felt his own heart breaking at the sight of you looking so done with everything.

“about what, love? take some deep breaths, it’s okay, we can talk about this and sort it out” his reassuring words only made you cry more, you really believed that you didn’t deserve him.

“i don’t deserve you, you deserve someone better” you shook your head lightly as you pushed yourself up to sit, your words making yoongi sit up immediately with you.

“what do you mean by that? where is this coming from?” he worriedly asked as he frantically searched for some answers on your face as you finally stopped crying. yoongi felt himself getting anxious as you kept repeating those words more quietly.

“yoongi, look at me, you deserve to be with someone prettier, someone who has one of those perfect bodies with all the right curves, not me” your insecurities tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop them and yoongi looked at you in shock as he processed your words.

did you not know how beautiful you are? and that you were the most beautiful to him?

he couldn’t help but think he failed in his role, as his boyfriend, he felt that he should’ve done better and been more conscious of your feelings and his own guilt started to grow.

“you really have no idea how i see you huh?” you forced your glassy eyes to meet his when his hands reached to hold yours.

“y/n, you are the most beautiful to me, like you literally drive me insane with how stunning you are and no, i’m not saying this because i have to, you know i don’t say things i don’t mean, so trust me when i say i love you, in every way possible. and i don’t want anyone else, i only want you because i honestly don’t know what i would do without you” you intently listened to him as he continued.

“you know what i see? i see you and i think of someone who is struggling to love themselves and that’s okay. it takes time and a lot of energy into accepting yourself and you can slowly get there and i know you will because you’re so full of love, look at how much you love me and the people around you, you are so giving to others when it comes to loving, just spare a little for yourself and you’ll be alright and even if you don’t always feel alright, i’ll be here for you, i promise i don’t want to go anywhere, i don’t want to be anywhere without you by my side” you nodded through your tears and his hands tightened around yours as his words finally started getting through to you.

“can you promise to let me stay with you no matter what, please?” yoongi pleaded softly as he played with your fingers gently and all it took was a nod from you to that, for yoongi to reach forward and kiss your cheek.

“my brave girl, i’m so proud of you and i’m so in love with you, you can always come to me when you feel like this” he gave you another gentle smile which eased your guilt and nerves as you found your own chest swell with joy at his careful but affectionate words.

“i love you too, so much” you whimpered and he cooed a little, patting your cheeks dry as you chuckled at the pout on his face as he meticulously brushed away all traces of your tears on your face.

“now, can i be the small spoon again? because i already miss it.”

promise - p.jm.

genre: angst, fluff (4k)

summary: you made a promise but you could already feel you both breaking it.

masterlist

you heard the doorbell ring and your heart leaped in your chest as your nerves buzzed in excitement, jumping out of bed and immediately sprinting to open it before your brother got to it. as you expected, he was happily skipping to answer the door, you got there just in time to push him out of the way, and as he was wincing and rubbing his arm while yelling complaints at you, something along the lines of ‘i will so tell mom when she gets home’, you couldn’t care less about what he was whining about at the moment.

you swung open the door to reveal your boyfriend for a few months now, standing there, looking sinfully good in a full denim outfit, bag on his shoulder, and holding your favorite flowers (baby’s breathe and lilacs) with a huge smile on his face.

god, you missed him.

“hey there, doll” jimin mused, a sparkle in his eyes, and you could feel your body tingling already, the familiar feeling returning after a very long time, as he moved to hand you the flowers with a dramatic bow at which you giggled and blushed, taking the flowers and holding them against your chest with a loving gaze.

you felt like a schoolgirl with a huge fucking crush.

except your crush is your boyfriend.

“thank you” you sheepishly uttered at which his smile only grew, loving seeing you all flustered because of him. he shook his head a little, his hair falling gracefully into his eyes, stepping into your house and closing the door behind him.

“i think i deserve more than that for those flowers, don’t you think so too?” he asked rhetorically, turning his face and pointing to his cheek.

at this point, you were a blushing mess, eyes cast downwards and shuffling on your feet, you were still not used to how direct jimin was with affection but you would be lying if you said you didn’t like it, it was intimidating at the beginning but slowly you got used to his boldness.

slowly standing on your tiptoes, you gave him a soft kiss to the cheek to which he beamed at you, clearly loving it before cupping your cheek and turning your face to return a kiss to your lips.

ah you missed his spontaneity too, you missed everything about how you two used to be at the beginning.

he pulled away and winked at you, making you hide your face in his chest, blushing intensely until you guys were interrupted with a low groan beside you, signaling the presence of your brother who never left the room.

“can you please do this in your room? i really don’t feel like puking right now” your brother whined, irritation laced in his voice, and you scowled at him, silently scolding him with your eyes. jimin was more than amused, giving you another kiss just to irritate your brother a little more and then tilting to look at your brother.

“sorry buddy, your sister just makes it very hard to resist her ” he smirked a little to which your brother rolled his eyes, getting increasingly tired of jimin’s smug smile and twinkling eyes.

“don’t tell me shit like that” he muttered bitterly, not wanting to know anymore of how ‘irresistible’ his sister is, before pushing past you to go to the living room making you scoff as your eyes followed him disappearing into the living room.

“brat” you scolded under your breath before grabbing jimin’s hand and dragging him up the stairs to your room, leaving him no choice but to follow you. he did mention he would only be able to stay for a while so you didn’t waste any time.

you pushed the door to your open and he looked around fascinatedly, seeing all the different posters covering your walls, ranging from posters of The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Diana Ross, Michael Jackson, almost an entire side of your room had boxes with vinyl’s, tapes, and a huge cassette player resting on a table. you clearly loved music and spent almost all day listening to your wide collection. jimin smiled, feeling endeared over the reminder of your interest in music, it’s been a while since he’s been in your room.

it was all you both did at the beginning of your relationship, sit in his car or in his room or your room, and pop in different tapes of your playlists, sharing what you liked about each song before eventually forgetting about the music and tangling yourself with him. those days were the ones you fought so hard for when you later ran into issues.

you plopped down on your bed, quickly making up for lost time even though it’s only really been three days since you’ve last seen him but both of you promised to make a more conscious effort so your relationship didn’t hit a dead-end like it almost did a few weeks ago.

you talked about the most random things, you excitedly informed him about your new job at the diner, where you would wear roller skates to serve, you’d always loved the diner and were so glad you got the job. it was the same diner where jimin asked you out with all your friends peeking to look at you two being all shy while confessing you wanted to be more than friends.

the place was really special to you because after that day, you even had your first date there, your first kiss there, so many memories were bound to that place.

how long has it been since you both talked like this?

like there wasn’t a clock which was ticking forward to warn you that your time was almost over?

it’s been stupidly long since the last time you both were brimming with joy and happiness, having just passed that rough patch in your relationship.

“don’t you think this is great?” you sighed happily, eyes shining in pure joy and he hummed, a small smile dancing on his lips before he kissed the top of your head, he was happy for you, you ranted to him many times that getting this job would mean a lot to you, not just because of the memories, but the pay was also really good, the uniform was cute, you were sure half your friend group would be hanging out there and you couldn’t think of a better way to spend your summer.

“i can get free milkshakes now, so yes it’s great” he teased, you lightly hit his chest in response which made him laugh, grabbing you in his arms, making your scowl disappear into a small smile.

“you’re really excited about this, huh?” he asked, a certain lightness in his tone, making you nod in response, playing with his jacket, tugging it up on him so it was resting on him properly.

he liked to see you so excited, so full of life, he missed seeing you literally jumping in your place as your smile shined over the room. he couldn’t believe he almost let you go a few weeks ago, that he almost lost his chance to ever see your smile again.

“well, i’ll visit you every day” he declared, not wanting to miss any of his time with you, playing with your hair again. you turned around in his arms with a huge smile, a little surprised at his words. you both just fixed things so you thought he might want to keep a comfortable distance but jimin was more than ready to spend all of his time with you, because to him, nothing else really mattered.

at least nothing much.

“really?”

“of course, i would, but i do want something in return” he suggested with a glint in his eyes that was too bright to be completely pure. you missed him looking at you like that, like you both were one breathe away from getting lost in each other.

“like what?" you tilted your head to look at him right in the eyes, your breath hitching a little when he pulled your face closer only to move his face in such a way that his warm breath hit over your ear repeatedly, making your body coil in a faint shiver.

"a make-out session during your breaks wouldn’t hurt” he whispered, making you gasp not only because of the close proximity but fooling around at work had you flushing unbelievably, so you pushed yourself off him and glared at him, though a faint smile did dance on your lips.

“i think i’ll stick to the milkshakes” you uttered, making him laugh and then you both started bickering,  him suggesting more and more things you could be doing, and each time you brushing him off and threatening that even the free milkshakes were off the table if he kept this up, in the middle of your conversation, jimin’s eyes absentmindedly fell on his backpack, only then remembering why he came all the way to your house.

“god, i almost forgot” he let his head fall back in a small chuckle at his own forgetfulness, reaching for the backpack as your confused eyes followed him, he got off the bed and you crawled to the end of it, propping your face in your hands on your elbows and watching him take a huge vinyl out of his backpack. he spinned it smoothly in his hands, then placing it in front of you and you brushed your fingers slightly on the cover and glanced up at him in confusion to see him uncharacteristically shy and nervous all of a sudden, his cheeks hidden behind a peach-pink hue which made you coo.

“did you bring new music for me?” your eyes softened at the memory of you two always giving each other new music to listen to, and he nodded very slowly.

“it’s something new, that’s for sure” he hummed and sat back down on the bed, looking at you with an unexplainable face.

“okay, let me put in the player then, we can listen to it to- “and before you could get up and reach over to place the vinyl in the player, jimin jumped from where he sat and snatched the vinyl from your hand.

you looked at him with slightly glassy eyes, not knowing why he was reacting the way he was.

did he not want to listen to music together anymore?

you let yourself sadly mull over the fact that some things truly did change between the two of you.

and jimin was beating himself up after he saw how your eyes immediately turned down and your smile fell into a flat line. there were a couple minutes of silence, a dangerous thread that you both were unwilling to walk on, and then you remembered your arguments. he mentioned how he wanted you to sacrifice more for his sake and you agreed to it then so you were going to follow through with your promise.

“it’s okay, we don’t have to if you don’t want to, i’ll just listen to it…by myself” you let out the last part in a faint whisper, taking the vinyl from his loosely held fingers and placing it on your table and pushing past him to sit near the headboard of the bed, your arms held across your chest as you avoided looking at him.

jimin fucked up.

he knew he fucked up; you could tell because he didn’t look at you either.

the playfulness and the wonder that danced around the room dulled into a flickering light.

his silence and your silence, the way you two refused to look at each other reminded you of exactly where you two were stuck weeks ago, and if it hurt then, it felt like repetitive punches to your stomach now, because this is after you promised to work it out, after you both talked of what made you insecure, and you being helplessly sensitive to some things and right now, you felt frustrated and disappointed because this wasn’t exactly a big deal but that didn’t mean you didn’t feel hurt.

you remember all those days he talked about how he would show you around the small studio he set up with his friends, in hopes of making music, a passion he shared with all of them, you would spend days just going on about how if you visited him at work, he would be distracted and you would playfully punch his arm a little, and then continue to coo over each other.

where did it all go?

you could see jimin running a hand on his face in exasperation and how exhausted he looked too, you couldn’t help but want to reach out and hold his hand and tell him it was going to be okay even if you were the one who needed the reassurance. but you didn’t, because even just a few feet away, he felt miles apart. and you didn’t bother reaching, giving him the chance to explain himself.

but no words came from him, the silence turned to tension in the air and you could feel your bit of hope dying along with the noise in the background.

as for jimin, his heart settled uneasily because he couldn’t bring himself to say any words without making it sound condescending or just wrong, he felt like any words from him at that moment would come out wrong and upset you even more, he was walking a dangerous line, while he didn’t want to hurt you by talking, he was also worsening the damage he caused by staying silent.

you heard a loud sigh from him, and you almost scoffed, now getting angry that he refused to do anything and acting like he was the one who just got a vinyl snatched from their hands.

“j-just please- “his pleading tone and wavering voice caught your attention but you still looked at your blanket, letting your fingers draw little circles and shapes on it, doing anything but not looking at him like he wanted you to. you didn’t even know why the environment was so tense all of a sudden, sure he took that vinyl in a rather harsh way and you felt hurt, but you didn’t understand why you both were acting the way you were.

“listen, please, just listen to me for a second here” he practically begged and that broke your resolve a little, you forcibly tore your eyes away from your bed to look at him. he looked desperate, his breathe coming out shallow and way too quickly as he rushed to fill the silence that has been hanging in the air.

“the vinyl, i want you to listen to it when i’m out of this room, that’s all i ask you to do” you wordlessly agreed and looked back down, continuing to draw shapes and your heart finally dropped when he left without saying another word, the door shutting behind him making you flinch and an empty sob ripped through your throat. you brought your knees to your chest and dropped your face on it, tears stinging your eyes but you refused to cry.

you stared down the vinyl sitting pretty on the edge of the table out of your periphery, contemplating whether to play it now or later but deciding that anytime it would just be a reminder that he didn’t want to listen to it with you, you just stomped to the table and tried not to cry as you placed the vinyl in the player and let the pin drop, your hands fiddled with one another under your sweater that you had to admit was not appropriate for the weather, as you waited for the song to begin.

but a pleasant surprise knocked all breath from your chest.

it was a new one, that was for sure, because instead of hearing the voice of some known singer in your time, your ears drowned in the all too familiar voice that surrounded you.

jimin’s voice.

sitting on the ground alone,
i get taken over by ever-growing thoughts
‘since when have you been hurting me’
even you don’t know.

you’re hurting too, cause you’re mine,i just wanna blow your mind
again, you’re moving further away like this.

“i’m alright”
though i say so,
maybe the truth is that i’m not.

i want you to be your light, baby, you should be your light
so that you are not hurt anymore
so that you can smile.

i want you to be your night, baby, you could be your night
so that this night can be honest with you.

and the tears you so desperately held back, fell in quiet rivers down your face as you crouched down, letting your forehead rest on the edge of the table as the lyrics sunk into every one of your nerves, slowly and painfully, your cries were silent, letting the song do all the crying for you because jimin sounded so desperate, like he needed you to be strong and he needed him to be strong to get through this.

promise me now
even if you feel alone many times a day,
don’t throw yourself away.

pause for a moment right here,
hook your pinky with mine,
and promise me now.

and the song came to an end, leaving you gasping for air around you as the room held its breath for your reaction.

your body ached, both in emotional exhaustion and from just staying still in an uncomfortable position.

no wonder he didn’t want you to listen to it when he was in the room. jimin basically spilled himself on this song, a silent plea continuing throughout to both him and you.

that things will be okay, things will be alright, we just have to get through one more night and the day will be better than we expect it to.

the reason for your weeks long fight was because both of you had never been in love, so exploring the unknown emotion together put a bunch of stops in your path, you loved him, he loved you but love simply wasn’t enough sometimes, both your insecurities never allowed you to bask in each other’s love. which lead to inconsistency, in your emotions, in your scenarios, in your everyday life, there were inconsistencies you couldn’t get past.

and after a painful day of fighting and screaming till both of you cried and sat on the floor, just sobbing with pieces of you all around you, jimin shakily held his hand out to you, your just as trembling fingers reached out and weakly held on, as he made you promise that you will try, if not anything else, you will try. and then to lighten the mood, wrapped his pinky around yours making a strained chuckle leave your lips as he cautiously pulled you into his lap and rocked you both back and forth until you couldn’t cry anymore tears and he couldn’t either.

you will always be grateful to him for that day because he held on when you couldn’t and it only felt right that you would extend forward to hold on now.

you got up from your crouched position, patting your cheeks and carefully removing the vinyl from the player and putting it in your favorites box, and reaching around for your phone, quickly dialing his number and holding your breath as you waited for him to pick up.

“hello- “you could hear the caution in his simple greeting.

“where the fuck are you? i need to see you.” you let out roughly, trying not to make your tone waver and you felt his nervous gulp at your tone even if he was definitely far away.

“l-like right now?” he stuttered, clearing his throat afterwards and you felt a faint smile tug at your lips at how scared he seemed.

“yes, like right now”

“oh okay, i’m in the studio with hose- “you quickly cut the call after you got his location, sliding it into your pocket and sprinting out your door.

a knock on the glass door of his shared studio with his friends made jimin’s leg jump under the table, hitting the surface and making him wince in pain, immediately clutching his hand around it and limping towards the door all while awkwardly wrapping his palm around the injured area. he knew it was you. but that didn’t mean his heart didn’t fall to his stomach when he saw you standing there, hair slightly disheveled, red eyes and lips in a flat line, but you still looked so beautiful to him. the most beautiful really.

before he could utter a word, you pushed yourself into the studio, closing the door behind you and staring at with an expression he couldn’t decipher. and to him, you looked pissed. but you were honestly just brimming with new-found hope for you too. if he said you could try, you could and you would try.

but it did not seem that way for poor jimin who shuffled on his feet uncomfortably, not understanding why you would cut the call so abruptly and visit him in his studio which he was yet to show you officially.

and then his breath stuttered as a possibility of the situation came to his mind.

did you come all this way to break up with him?

is that why you seemed to be in such a hurry, to get rid of him as quickly as you could?

“the song was…” you trailed off, pausing to turn and lean back on the desk behind you, leaving jimin with his heart in his throat as he waited for your response.

he put so much of him into the song and if you didn’t like it, he didn’t know what he would do with himself.

“if you’ll keep your promise, i will too” your voice broke him out of his trance, hope blooming in his chest again at your words as you continued to speak.

“because if we’re going to do this, i need to know that we’re both going to be putting in the effort, i’m tired of the misunderstandings between us, we were never like this. i just want to go back to how we used to be” you sighed, your mind mulling over the start of your journey to love, it was so innocent, the beginning of love always is innocent. and jimin missed it too.

“as much as i love how we used to be, we can’t fully go back to how we used to be, we’ve been through…. too much to act like everything can go back to normal. we can keep working towards it though, we can work towards the days we used to have, and i’ll keep my promise, i promise that i’ll keep my promise” you went through a turmoil of emotions at his words, relief at his promise, but also a faint ache at the harsh realization that he was right, you couldn’t just magically go back to who you were, but you can keep trying till you get there.

you kept your head down, the faintest bit of satisfaction in your heart, as you moved forward to let yourself finally give up and just let him hug you. you heard him sigh in relief before wrapping his arms around you and burying your face into his neck. but then you abruptly pulled back making him furrow his eyebrows, only for that to melt into a soft smile as you held your pinky up for him.

“we promise, right?” you meekly said, with a faint smile and he put his pinky against yours, nodding his head as he pulled you back to him with your linked pinkies making you stumble and fall into him again, a quick giggle leaving your lips.

“we promise” and he sealed his promise with a kiss on the top of your head, leaving you to nuzzle into him closer until distance was but a myth between you and him.

and after that day at the studio, just like you expected, he visited you everyday at work only to drag you to the back alley for proving that he kept his promise, in more ways than one and you went back to letting songs play in his car as you played with his hair between your fingertips and your bodies became one.

as it turns out, all you both needed to do to be ‘we’ again was to keep your promise.

genre: fluff, angst (38k+ rip phone readers)

taglist:@2oct@ppeachyttae​@ggukkieland​@vantxx95​@squirrelandcrafts​ 

summary: "can you please make me a bouquet which conveys ‘fuck you’?“

masterlist

taehyung sighs as he sits back down after making a large bouquet of different roses for a man who clearly needed to apologise to someone, considering the amount of money he spent, he probably fucked up pretty badly.

business at the flower shop was never booming, as expected, these days text messages, calls and half-assed reasonings have replaced the simplicity and significance of flowers.

even taehyung himself wouldn’t have cared about flowers at all, but he promised himself that he would do this for his best friend and his family who took care of him for as long as he remembered.

as he sat by himself, humming an unknown tune, he unconsciously glanced outside to see her.

he saw her every day, she would pass his little flower shop and she would be doing the most random things, one thing he picked up about her was that she seemed to walk her dog the same path crossing his store every other day, but one thing he knew for sure, that she was absolutely stunning.

he would sometimes catch her looking at the colourful tulips placed at the front of the shop or lazily gaze through the entire shop before she walked away.

but it was not like taehyung liked her, it was almost like he found her habits endearing, he was intrigued by this person who seemed to go through a tsunami of emotions every day, he is only guessing that, of course, based on the way she walked. the days taehyung assumed she was "sad”, she had a lethargic walk, “angry” was noticeable easily since she seemed to stomp her way by his store and the days he assumed she was “happy”, she seemed to have a bounce in her step and a bright smile, grinning at everyone she passed, it almost sometimes made taehyung wish he crossed paths with her so he could witness it too.

and after she passed by, he got right back to doing his work.

the flower shop was small but absolutely cosy and taehyung did all he could to make it look presentable and elegant.

he was not obligated to work there, but he felt like he owed that much and he enjoyed it too so, he would work whenever he had time. now, since it was summer, he had a lot of time for himself and he had nothing better to do anyway, so he’d be at the store the whole day.

he didn’t have anyone to go home to, anyone that would miss his presence except maybe his group of friends, so he leisurely spent the time around arranging the flowers and handling them with the utmost care.

taehyung absent-mindedly ran his fingers through his hair about a million times as he read his book which had information about different kinds of flowers and their meaning and care before the sunset, and then, the business was flat, he had maybe two customers who came for simple congratulatory bouquets, both of which took almost no time to make.

the clock struck 9 and he decided he could wrap it up for today and head home.

he double-checked if he had put recorded today’s activities, put the money in the safe and locked the glass doors, stepping outside.

the nights were pretty cold which was a stark contrast to the mornings that were irritatingly warm and sticky.

taehyung walked as he passed by many people, some were happy, some were drunk, some were definitely drunk, some were embarrassed because of the drunk person, some were talking loudly on their phones, some were giggling and everyone seemed to live in their own world. he admired the many different lifestyles that people led, while others found it annoying, he found it almost amusing about how we all live in the same familiar world, but completely unfamiliar with each other.

he heard his phone ding and he knew who it was even before looking at it. there were only around 7 people who would text him and he managed to set a different tone for each of them since it would be easier to know who was going to bother him for the day.

from: chimmy

yo tae, you done with the shop?

to: chimmy

hey chim, just finished wrapping everything up. omw home.

from: chimmy

great, i am coming over, i’m staying the night too.

to: chimmy

aight, see you in a bit then.

and with that, he slid his phone back into his coat pocket and walked a little faster so that he could go home and cook some dinner by the time jimin came over.

he opened the door to his apartment, it wasn’t like it was the biggest home in the area nor was it the smallest, but it was enough for him as the space made him feel cosy and it somehow fit him and his friends whenever they came over, he had a secret studio room which no one really knew about but him.

he walked in to see jimin sitting comfortably on the couch, and by comfortably, he meant legs sprawled out and body bent in the weirdest angles.

“tae!” jimin jumped up from the couch running over to give him a bear hug, taehyung pretended to shrug jimin off but he enjoyed the affection jimin showered him with so often.

“chill dude, you saw me not even 24 hours ago,” taehyung said, placing his coat and keys aside but jimin only grinned at him.

“anyway, we are gonna pass by the fact that you obviously very much so missed me too, i am hungry, you suck at cooking so, i already ordered some jjajangmyeon and we can watch a movie or something before sleeping, sound good?” jimin spoke so quickly, that any other person would barely grasp on what he was talking about but it was his best friend for like almost his whole life so jimin’s motorboat speaking skills rarely ever confuse him.

he nodded, trying not to take offence at the obvious jab on his cooking, but who was he kidding, he sucked at it and he was more than grateful that jimin had already ordered.

“sounds great, let me just change and come back. please put some good movie, i don’t want any of that alien vs. predator shit” he mumbled before heading over to his room.

he came out around the same time their food arrived and so they ate and bantered, talked about their day and eventually, passed out on the couch before the movie ever ended.

-

bright light entered through the thin curtains covering the large windows in the living room and taehyung stirred in his sleep, he groaned and turned away, trying to ignore the fact that it’s morning now but eventually, he got up, lazily rubbing his eyes and squinting to look at his surroundings.

there were dirty plates, glasses littering the table in front of them and then there was jimin, he had one leg on top of the couch, the other leg awkwardly touching the ground while he lightly snored.

taehyung snickered to himself as he pulled his phone out to take an extremely unflattering picture of his best friend and sent it to the group chat of their remaining friends. they immediately responded with hilarious reactions, all of them saying they would be saving the picture for future revenge.

taehyung stretched and finally got up from the couch to put the plates and other things away, then he lightly kicked jimin to wake him up, but jimin being jimin, just groaned and went back to sleeping like a baby. taehyung sighed and decided to wake him up later.

he went to his room to clean himself up and put on a comfortable outfit as he was gonna spend the rest of his day at the flower shop anyway.

he walked out of his room to find jimin still snoring away, so he got his phone and played the latest, most catchy k-pop song he could find as loudly as possible until it annoyed jimin enough to wake up.

“kim taehyung, i swear to god, shut the damn noise already!” jimin yelled, throwing a pillow but taehyung continued blasting different songs, dancing to them and singing along loudly.

jimin got up with a huff and glared at taehyung with a sleepy pout on his face.

“lose the pout chim, it won’t work on me nor will the glare, so get your lazy ass up and help me with breakfast already,” he mused, walking away to the kitchen while jimin rolled around the couch, whining for another 10 minutes before getting up to clean himself up as well.

after he was done getting ready, he joined taehyung in the kitchen to find a glass of juice, ready for him to drink and he jumped to sit on the counter as he watched tae make waffles for the both of them.

“look who finally decided to get their useless ass up” tae snickered as his tongue stuck out, concentrating on not to ruin the waffles.

“shut up man” jimin groaned out, rubbing his face tiredly before helping with the waffles as well.

“also, mom wants you to come over for dinner soon, she misses you apparently, so do the rest of them,” jimin informed and taehyung nodded, his heart warming slightly that someone missed him.

“sure, why not, i miss them too,” taehyung said with a soft sigh, and jimin gave him a small smile.

they both ate their breakfast and cleaned up the house a bit more before going off to their daily routine.

jimin worked at a small bakery that had the most amazing blueberry cupcakes, it was a part-time job though, jimin spent the rest of his time working at his family’s company. their family was rich and the company was very successful but jimin liked doing something that was only his for his satisfaction.

taehyung himself was an artist, an anonymous artist that no one except his closest friends knew about, he sold his art privately to specific people only but he was still pretty well-known as some of his works in the local gallery and graffiti went viral, it seemed like a bit of banksy situation but it’s not like he expected his art to blow up like that. he worked in the flower shop because he found it comforting and would probably continue working there until his big debut at an art gallery in the winter.

he was very passionate about the little things in life, the forgotten things, he wanted to remind people of the beauty in things that we usually ignore, which he tried to reflect in his art. his art was something he was very shy about, which is why very few people knew of it. he went by the alias vante, a random name that he came up with when he visited Paris with his friends at the beginning of his career.

as he approached the flower shop, he gently smiled at the soft sunshine falling on the tulips, he liked the tulips being at the front since they symbolize 'perfect love’.

he pushed the door open, being greeted with all different kinds of scents, he let his fingers delicately caress the different flowers before reaching the counter where he removed his jacket and got to work.

he sprayed the flowers with water, taking his time, and making sure each different kind of flower received a sufficient amount of water. this took about two hours every single day and after that, he plopped down on his chair, tired but relaxed nonetheless.

a few customers poured in, all for different reasons, two stood out the most, mainly because he used his favorite flowers in their decorations: a blue-haired guy who wanted to gift flowers to his boyfriend, taehyung happily wrapped a bouquet of peonies and red tulips, both flowers represented love and a kind old man who wanted flowers to give to his wife for their anniversary, taehyung decided on a bouquet of matthiola incana and camellia for him.

his heart filled with warmth watching the old man softly smile at his bouquet and thank him several times, this is why he loved working at the flower shop, to see that smile on different people for different reasons.

the sky turned to a beautiful ombre of orange and red, business slowed down again and taehyung lazily scrolled through his phone, laughing at the silly messages his friends sent, screenshotting a few and he absent-mindedly gazed outside to see heragain, right on time for her daily stroll.

but this time, he clearly saw the anger and rage evident on her face as she seemed to head in his direction.

taehyung panicked, sure, he had admired the mystery girl many times, but he never once thought he would actually have to meet her, he kept trying to avoid the fact that she was angrily stomping her way into his shop.

she looked around the shop before her eyes landed on him, she kept her gaze straight on him as she walked up to him, taking long and quick strides as he gulped nervously.

she finally reached the counter and slammed a twenty-dollar bill on it, making taehyung jump at the sound, and she spoke through gritted teeth,

“can you please make me a bouquet which conveys 'fuck you’?” her honey-like voice seethed.

oh no.

-

taehyung froze, his eyes wide as he tried to register the words she just spoke but quickly, he collected himself and cleared his throat before speaking.

“of course” he replied with a small smile and the girl looked a bit confused because she didn’t understand how this man remained so calm while she was quite literally bursting at seams with anger, he got up from where he was and walked over to the flowers, quietly looking through all of them, his eyes brightening a little every time he found the suitable flowers for the girl’s very specific bouquet.

she stayed silent, anger still evident but she softened quite a bit looking at the man in front of her, who was picking the flowers with a sense of calmness, as if he was used to people asking him to make a “fuck you” bouquet.

even though she was restless, she could not deny that this guy looked handsome as fuck.

she quickly scoffed and looked away, when she remembered why exactly she was here and why she needed that particular bouquet.

taehyung picked the flowers, wrapping them gently in some rustic patterned paper before finishing off with a bright red bow. he handed the bouquet to her and she tried to ignore the giddy feeling in her stomach she got when their fingers lightly grazed.

it’s nothing more than just attention from this obviously very good-looking man, that was all.

she watched the different flowers in the bouquet with the utmost confusion on why those particular flowers as taehyung took that time to admire the girl in front of him who was frowning in concentration, he found it adorable, he didn’t even realise she was speaking until he saw her lips moving, her lips were a light pink and looked very soft, he noted before listening to her.

“if you don’t mind, can you tell what each of these flowers symbolise?” she asked, her voice soft and soothing but an underlying tone of anger was still present. taehyung nodded, though surprised because most people didn’t care about the meanings of the flowers but he was grateful that someone asked and more importantly, that she asked.

“the germaniums symbolise stupidity, the foxglove stands for insincerity, the meadowsweet for uselessness, the yellow carnations for disappointment and finally, the orange lilies for hatred” taehyung explained with amusement as he watched the girl take in all the information.

she smirked and the thought 'this should teach steven a lesson’ kept revolving in her mind before she looked back at the dashing boy with a voice that could melt ice. she loved the way he spoke, his words sounded well-thought-out and beautiful and she could probably listen to him talk all day and never get tired but she quickly shook those thoughts from her head.

you don’t even know the dude, she quickly corrected herself.

“thank you, i know it’s an odd request-” she stammered, trying to explain why she needed it without giving away too much information but taehyung cut her off, waving his hand.

“it’s not a problem at all, don’t worry about it” he gave her a small smile, hoping to make her feel more comfortable. she nodded, gratefully before placing an extra twenty as a tip on the counter.

“thank you so much for taking your time to explain it and of course, for the bouquet.” she said, smiling brightly and holding back at the bouquet.

god, she looks even more breathtaking up close, he thought, involuntarily matching her smile.

“you’re welcome, have a great day miss.” he waved her goodbye and she nodded before spinning on her heel and exiting the shop, much calmer than she was when she entered it.

she couldn’t deny the smile that wouldn’t budge from her face as she couldn’t get the man out of her head but that was quickly wiped away when she saw the bouquet and was reminded of the circumstances that lead to her needing to walk into that flower shop. she started to walk quickly again, ready to give the bouquet to the guy who broke her heart, not sparing a second glance at the shop.

in the shop, taehyung sat stunned as his mind seemed to take a lot of time to process whatever just happened but even with the confusion, a small smile was on his face as her bright smile-even though she was obviously very pissed- kept flashing in his mind. he was so in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice jimin enter the shop until he heard someone obnoxiously clap their hands in front of him suddenly.

startled, he flinched and shuffled around, trying to regain his cool before he realised it was only jimin.

“why do you look like that?” jimin asked with a tilt to his head, sitting on an empty stool, looking around the flower shop, taking in all the small changes taehyung had made since he started working in the shop.

the lights were brighter, the decor was all plush in pale colors to make the vibrant flowers stand out and the wrapping papers had many varieties now.

he let out a sigh, before turning back to taehyung who watched him quietly.

taehyung knew how painful it was for jimin to come into the flower shop since it was previously owned by jimin’s grandpa, the both of them would always visit his grandpa at work as young boys, played around with the various flowers and ribbons, and it was rare for jimin to come to the flower shop as every little detail reminded him of his happy, old man.

he would only visit the shop in two instances, either he was in a very good mood or the complete opposite. he heavily sighed one last time before setting his elbows on the counters and leaning his face into his hands.

“well, are you going to answer me today?” jimin asked, the snark unmissable in his voice and taehyung shook his head.

“that’s not important, i was just distracted, is everything ok chim?” taehyung asked, carefully, deciding that a random but attractive girl wasn’t important at the moment, and jimin nodded.

“i just had a small fight with the manager at the bakery, i keep messing up the display apparently like sir but all the sugared donuts look the same to me, how am i supposed to know which ones are cream or jam-filled if i don’t know what’s fucking in them and i’m just handed a tray expected to arrange even though no one tells me what the fuck it is” he groaned out loud, hitting his head on the table, his complaints about his manager were frequent, and jimin sweetly called the manager 'a pain in my bubbly ass’.

“how about we have a guys night, you, me and the boys?” he suggested. jimin contemplated whether meeting the rest of the crackheads would end in anything good.

it would not.

but he agreed to it nonetheless, they always managed to make him feel happy anyway.

the boys sent a text to their group chat and headed out, locking the flower shop, ready for a good time but thoughts of the girl lingered in taehyung’s mind as he walked alongside his best friend.

meanwhile, things were not going so great for her as she impatiently tapped her foot, standing in front of the large building, waiting for her boyfriend, well soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend to step out so she could finally put a stop to whatever clownery their relationship was.

she read his text which stated he would be out in 10 minutes and smirked before slipping her phone back into her pocket.

i’ll be so glad when this is over, she thought.

-

she perked up, watching him exit the building and walking straight to her. he had a huge grin on his face as he approached her and leaned in for a hug which she immediately dodged, leaving him confused.

“wha-” he started, concern laced in his voice but she put her hand up, stopping him from speaking any further.

“save it, steven” she spat out and he looked taken aback by her sudden harsh words but he realised that her posture was very rigid and she looked very pissed off.

“babe, is everything okay?” he asked, a nervous chuckle escaping his lips, stepping closer to her and tried to hold her hand, she immediately swatted his hand away before glaring at him.

“don’t act so innocent, babe. maybe set a new password for that goddamn phone of yours” she seethed, venom dripping from her words and he finally started to get a small idea of what was happening.

“you saw the texts?” he asked, his voice was small and he looked away, clearly guilty.

“did i see them? well, let’s go through some facts here, so i’m just a 'cheap bitch’ who you will have around for 'another tiring month’ and all i do is 'bore the fuck out of you’ or 'annoy you’ and you 'don’t know’ how to end things with me. now you tell me, did i see the fucking texts?” she almost screamed and he took it, he deserved it, hell, he probably deserved more than that but she knew arguing with him was just a waste of her precious time.

“babe, please listen to m-” he pleaded but she wasn’t having any of it, cutting him off once again.

“no, you listen to me steven, since you 'don’t know’ how to end things with me, i’m gonna make this real simple for you. i don’t want to spend another 'tiring’ minute with you, i honestly feel bad for whoever you’ll date next, i hope they enjoy their 'two minutes in hell’ in bed with you” she spat out and he just stared at her, stone shocked.

“also, i almost forgot, you were a florist right? have a good time figuring out what this means” she smirked, throwing the bouquet into his arms and taking one last look at his dumb face before turning and walking in the opposite direction, head held high and a bounce in her step.

steven stood there, dumbfounded before bringing the bouquet closer to inspect the flowers, he immediately understood what they meant and a offended scoff left his lips as he dropped the bouquet to his feet and stomped on it, again and again, like a child.

she sashayed her way home and closed the door, leaning on it, letting out a light sigh before a smile formed on her lips for two reasons,

1. she was finally not with that man-child anymore and she never felt more relieved in her life.

2. she also remembered the very cute boy from the flower shop, his doll-like features and his comforting words, how he spoke about flowers so passionately even when they had an unpleasant meaning, he intrigued her and she didn’t have to mention the fact that she was attracted to him, she was pretty sure everyone who met him was.

she put her shoes away, hung her coat with a hum and walked into her apartment which she shared with her best friend.

speaking about above mentioned best friend, celeste park walked in at that moment and immediately started bombarding her with questions on how everything went.

she just let out a huff before slowly walking into her room with celeste hot on her tail, she shut out whatever surely nonsense her friend was spewing and quickly excused herself to shower and change.

after she was in more comfortable clothes, she joined celeste on the couch who sat with a small pout on her face, clearly annoyed that she wouldn’t tell her anything.

she cuddled into her friend’s arms and started narrating about how it all went down with steven, celeste continued to throw around snide remarks about her ex-boyfriend the entire time, and by the end of it, both of them were giggling before celeste tightly hugged her.

“i am so proud of you and happy that you are not with him anymore, god knows how many times i told you he wasn’t worth your time” celeste snickered, brushing her friend’s hair softly.

“yeah, you sounded like a broken record. i should have dumped him right then.” she giggled as celeste hit her with a pillow.

“also, i forgot to mention, i met this guy,” she mused with a cheeky smile, wandering off and leaving celeste with wide eyes who started to follow the girl around as she made dinner.

“who is it? and damn, who knew you would find someone else literally the day you break up with your boyfriend?” celeste said with a smirk on her face, sitting on the chair near the counter.

“shut up cel, i barely know the guy, hell, i don’t even know his name except for the fact that he works at the flower shope but let me tell you, he was probably the finest man i’ve seen in my life” she explained with a dreamy drag to her words.

“that’s what you said about steven” celeste interjected with raised eyebrows, not really trusting her friend’s words on this as she shook her head violently.

“steven was fine but almost in a childish way, this guy was all man, his voice was deep and raspy, you wouldn’t believe how good he sounded when he started speaking about the flowers. ugh, he sounded so articulate” she blabbered away, tasting the food as celeste listened on, finding her best friend’s description of a guy and dazed expression clearly amusing.

“so you find him interesting?” celeste asked, knowing the answer already while she thought for a while before nodding.

“you could say, very interesting” she confirmed with amusement laced in her voice.

“come on, stop thinking about how he sounds in bed already, at least talk to the guy before you do that” celeste teased, giggling at her interested-correction-very interested best friend.

“alright alright, cut it out now!” she whined before serving the fried rice for the both of them. they both started eating before celeste started speaking again.

“so you’re gonna go back to the flower shop right?” celeste spoke with her mouth full, and she looked away, poking her plate.

“i don’t know about that cel, like what would i do even if i did go back?” she stammered, uncertainty clear in her voice.

“dude, you’re obviously interested in him and if he is fine as fuck as you say, just go in there, ask about random flowers or buy random flowers, or even better, try to explain why you asked for such a weird bouquet” celeste shrugged after she was done suggesting ways to approach the flower boy.

she just nodded along, her eyes slightly twitching with nervousness and excitement and celeste rolled her eyes.

“i know that look, you’re going back, aren’t you?” celeste asked, knowing full well that her best friend never took things slow, and she smirked back in reply.

“hell yeah”

-

well, let’s just say she ended up overthinking the whole situation and never ended up going. the confidence she had before had now withered as the day loomed in and she was trying to avoid the flower shop as much as she could.

she couldn’t help but think how he must’ve found her fucking bonkers for the request she made, and the guy being so freaking gorgeous didn’t help her nerves either. she took a different route for when she was dog-sitting shiro and she successfully avoided the shop for a week.

but here she was, after a very long week, two minutes away from the flower shop, she finally decided to woman up and talk to him. 

meanwhile, taehyung too had subconsciously thought of her all week, he was more curious about her than he ever was before, but he couldn’t do anything about it, she had stopped coming by the shop so, he didn’t see her at all. he started wondering that maybe he did something that might’ve scared her off but couldn’t come up with anything. he told jimin about her, and he was no help, all he did was tease taehyung all week.

then, he saw her, in front of the shop, fiddling with her fingers and looking down, she slowly lifted her head to meet his gaze and her face broke out in a small, nervous smile.

she pushed the glass door open, slowly before making her way to taehyung who was watching her with widened eyes but still kept his overall composure.

she reached his counter, now making eye contact with taehyung and they both gulped, hearts beating loudly. they kept staring at each other before taehyung finally mustered up the courage to break the silence.

“are you here for another 'fuck you’ bouquet?” taehyung teased her and she blushed, looking away with a grin.

“so you remember,” she hummed, a smile still present on her face and he nodded.

“of course, kind of hard to forget someone who asks for such an interesting bouquet” he said and she laughed, making his smile wider as he took her in.

she wore a white and light blue sundress, her earrings dangled when she laughed, and her feet were adorned in wedges. she looked very cute, he noted as he waited for her reply.

“about that, i just wanted to come and thank you again for being so calm when i was losing my mind,i must have looked like such a brazen person” she waved her hands here and there as she spoke, another habit of hers that he noticed.

“i thought i already told you that it was more than alright and it is also my job. though i have to say, it’s left me more than a little curious” he hinted, wanting to know more about her, he wasn’t sure if she would tell him but he could at least try, and she nodded, deciding that it was her chance to talk to him more.

“understandably, so if i explain the whole thing, it’s gonna take forever, i needed the bouquet for my now ex-boyfriend, more specifically to break up with him” she explained, and he listened intently as she spoke, making her feel flustered with the attention.

well, wasn’t he the happiest man to know she was single right now.

“well, did he get the message?” he asked, resting his elbows on the counter and leaning forward unconciously, her cheeks warmed when he did this and she hoped he didn’t notice which thankfully, he didn’t.

“i am pretty sure he did” she replied, a satisfied smile playing on her lips and he smiled back at her.

“then i am glad the bouquet helped.”

"it definitely did” she giggled as she imagined steven with a childish pout on his face, looking at the delicate flowers with hatred, she was sure he probably threw the flowers in a trash can or stomped on them, throwing a fit like the petulant man-child he was.

an awkward silence ensued in the air with the both of them not knowing how to continue the conversation, they barely knew each other but they wanted to stay right there, with each other.

 "i never caught your name, should i just call you flower boy?“ she asked, with a teasing smile on her face and he smirked, a grin threatening to spread on his face.

he loved that name, though he would never admit it.

"well, i don’t mind if you call me that but the name’s kim taehyung if you decide otherwise” he said, and hoped that he was not kidding himself when he saw her blush as their eyes met again.

“kim taehyung, you’re korean. i am too” she remarked, her voice laced with admiration, she really did like the name and he couldn’t ignore the tingle he felt when she said his name.

“oh really, i was born in busan and then we moved here, what would your name be?”

“rumi, lee rumi”

“anyway rumi, lee rumi, pleased to make your acquaintance” he replied in his signature raspy tone which only made her feel more flustered, his voice was deep and smooth and sounded like music to her ears.

“how long have you been working here? i don’t think i’ve seen you around before” she inquired, she was always a little too lost in her own world to care about her surroundings.

oh, well i’ve definitely seen you around, he thought.

“a good while now, and i’m not surprised, flower shops are not exactly the talk of the town” he half-joked, and she frowned, not liking how he was belittling his own shop.

“that’s not true and i’m not saying this to flatter you, but this is by far, the prettiest flower shop i’ve seen ever” she spoke with wonder in her tone, looking around and waving her hands around the entire shop, at the beautiful flowers first, the muted colors surrounding them and then the decorative knick-knacks that seemed to make the place stand out even more.

“thank you but i can’t help but be totally flattered when you say it like that” he teased, even surprising himself, he didn’t know that he was confident enough to hold a conversation with her, but here he was, enjoying teasing her and making her blush.

he couldn’t ignore the giddy feeling he felt every time she smiled or laughed at his remarks, just like right now, she was laughing and shaking her head at him.

“glad i could flatter you, flower boy” she smoothly said, in an equally teasing voice and now, it was his turn to feel flustered.

'flower boy’ just might be my favourite two words in the world right now, he thought, he was not very used to nicknames but he was just completely in love with how she uttered those two words.

on the other hand, rumi was more than enjoying this conversation, she hadn’t imagined how well this could go.

they sat in the store and talked about anything they could, conversation flowing easily between them as they got more comfortable, they told each other about their best friends, taehyung would say that jimin is annoying and rumi would tell him to wait till he met celeste, both of them actively avoided talking about family, it was too soon anyway and even the flowers seemed to lean to listen to them chatting away with heart-fluttering laughter and hilarious jabs at each others tastes.

there were no customers for the rest of the day as taehyung wrapped up a huge order very recently so thankfully there was no one to interrupt them.

the sun had set, turning the sky into it’s own canvas, swirling different colours to create a beautifully finished piece but the two people in the flower shop, could only look at each other as day turned to night.

it was past nine when rumi got a call from her best friend who started grilling her about where she was and how it worked out with the flower boy, it was only then rumi realised how late it got and even taehyung was shocked that they had talked for so long, realising he had to lock the flower shop anytime now, he told her to wait while he did some last checks before calling it a day.

as he locked the glass doors, she kept staring at him, and felt her heart hammering in her chest when he turned around with a stunning smile on his face after he was done.

“i’m sorry if i kept you distracted too long” rumi uttered in a small voice, guiltily looking down and he shook his head, if anything, he hated that the day was over already, that the moon had come out so quickly, being so inconsiderate to the two people in the flower shop, slowly getting infatuated with each other.

“i didn’t mind being distracted by you at all” taehyung replied honestly, he really didn’t, he could use a distraction like her from time to time, and she blushed intensely.

“i have to go now, celeste won’t stop bothering me,” she said with a sigh, not quite wanting to leave but having no other choice but to leave.

“will i see you again?” he asked, eyebrows raised expectantly, hoping she would say yes and not find him too cheesy.

“definitely” she gave him a bright smile before walking away, only her scent lingering where she stood as taehyung watched the ethereal way the light seemed to hit her as she bounced her steps.

and the butterflies he felt at that moment were something he’d never experienced before.

-

“so, he is even more attractive than you said last time?” celeste asked in disbelief with raised eyebrows, her head resting on rumi’s stomach, looking expectedly at her to answer.

“like you wouldn’t believe cel, he had this serene smile on his face and he just emitted this strong, sexy, mature, calm aura that honestly made me want to jump over the counter and kiss him” rumi wildly exclaimed, exaggerating her feelings a little for dramatic flair and celeste laughed.

“slow down there, you animal,” she mused, leaning away from rumi and now resting flat on her back as she glanced at rumi who was deep in thought.

“gosh let me rant, first he was teasing me and smirking and a second later, he was so adorable, and the next, he was acting all hot as fuck. and i have just never felt this way with someone” rumi blurted out, whispering the last part while placing a hand on her racing heart and celeste smirked, enjoying her friend’s dramatic explanation.

“you seem so whipped for someone you barely know anything about,” celeste hummed out and rumi scoffed, not quite liking her tone.

“not for long, i am definitely going back there,” she was determined, her voice full of confidence and celeste sighed, knowing that this over-confidence usually blew up in her face.

“uh-huh, you said that last time and ended up waiting for a full week, whining and annoying the hell out of me,” she complained with exasperation clear in her voice. rumi pouted and turned over in bed to hit her best friend on the arm.

“i was so so so nervous,” she whispered playfully.

“you’re still nervous” celeste pointed out and rumi pursed her lips because she knew it was true. rumi sounded confident a good 90% of the time for sure, but deep down, she still cared way too much about what he might have thought about her, if he found her crazy for coming back or if he thought she was attractive like she thought he was.

she kept replaying their conversation over and over again in her head, and even though they easily spent about half a day talking, he still felt like such a mystery to her, he was someone she wanted to know about but was too scared to be let down on what she might know.

she couldn’t help but think, what if he was too good to be true. that was her biggest fear probably: disappointment. she also feared trusting someone too much, too quickly only to be let down at the end of the day.

though she was more than happy that she wasn’t with steven anymore, she was still hurt over the shit he had been spewing about her to people they knew, how lowly he thought of her while still complimenting her, taking her out on dates, bringing her flowers and being your general 'good’ boyfriend.

she wanted to be unbothered over what people say but she was still human. she still wanted to be loved, appreciated, noticed, and not seen as some 'cheap bitch’ who was annoying or a time-pass, even if she wouldn’t admit it out loud, steven’s words had impacted her in a way that she couldn’t explain.

she remembered how heartbroken she felt when she first saw those texts, she cried in celeste’s arms for a whole day, she had never felt so insecure of herself because even if he was a man-child, she still did like him a lot and even during the grand break-up, it had taken everything in her to resist his confused face and puppy eyes. but she also knew that he wasn’t affected by the breakup as much as he acted at all and she hated that.

she hated the fact that he was the actual unbothered one. she was obviously better off without him, but she couldn’t help but think maybe he had a rational explanation and every time she thought of that, she mentally cursed herself out for even thinking that he deserved a second chance.

celeste just started at rumi as she was lost in her thoughts with her expressions changing every few seconds, and when she violently shook her head and looked at celeste with a sad look in her eyes, celeste knew exactly what was going on in rumi’s head.

“thinking of that dirtbag?” celeste murmured knowingly, referring to the cursed ex-boyfriend and rumi sighed out loudly, hating herself for letting her mind drift back to that pathetic mess of a man.

“how do you know me so well?” she rhetorically asked and celeste shrugged.

“you had that constipated look on your face and you only make that face when you think of something stupid,” she said smugly, making rumi laugh.

“what’s wrong, babe?” celeste asked softly, concerned when rumi crawled in her arms to cuddle with her.

“i just can’t help but think that the idea i built of taehyung is too good to be true and if he ends up like steven?” rumi whispered, sadness dripping from her voice. celeste knew of rumi’s fears and she knew exactly why she had them as well.

“maybe just don’t put him on such a high pedestal yet, and stop thinking of steven, he was definitely never too good to be true” celeste’s words comforted rumi to an extent, the right words always do, and rumi nodded, pulling away from her.

“you never told me how your date with that hot colleague of yours yet?” rumi asked, with a small smirk on her face and celeste immediately became bashful. rumi’s eyes widened in surprise, there were very few instances which made celeste shy, as being a lawyer, she saw a lot of nasty situations happening to people and refused to let someone 'tame’ her. so her red cheeks and shy smile were a huge surprise.

“oh my god, you are blushing! who is this guy and what has he done to you?” rumi almost screamed out, bouncing around in anticipation and celeste laughed at her hyperactive behavior.

“his name is kim chaemin for your kind information and yes, the date went very well, he was a gentleman, we split the bill for dinner, got ice-cream after that and went on a nice, long walk in the park” celeste gushed, replaying the sweet date in her mind and rumi only shook her head in disbelief that this information had been held from her.

“i can’t believe you waited a week to tell me this, also did anything else happen?” rumi said, wiggling her eyebrows, leaning into celeste who pushed her away with a smile.

“i thought we’d have to talk about work to prevent anything from getting too awkward, but it went so smoothly and yes, i hoped that he would at least kiss me but he just squeezed my hand before leaving,” celeste said with a disappointed sigh at the end.

“he squeezed your hand? what a whore” rumi joked with a small chuckle, and celeste threw a pillow on her face which only made her laugh louder.

“but seriously, why the hell would he think squeezing my hand was a good way to end the date?” celeste asked, with a slight pout and rumi shrugged.

“maybe he didn’t want you to be uncomfortable which i  think is very nice of him” rumi tried to reason when celeste sighed.

“too nice” she grumbled under her breath which only made rumi laugh out loud.

“just kiss him next time, it’s not like he should be the one to initiate it” rumi remarked and celeste nodded enthusiastically.

“yeah, next time, if i see signs of him wanting to kiss me, i will just do it” she said, bobbing her head in determination.

“good for you, now, i would love to stay up and talk all night but i’m drained and i have to go see that woman who wanted to plan some garden party tomorrow” rumi groaned out the last part, the thought of work putting her in a sour mood yet again.

“you go ahead and sleep, i’ll probably be up for another hour or so, i have some files to look through,” celeste informed rumi, getting off the bed while rumi wrapped the blanket around herself, already closing her eyes.

“good night” celeste sang, laughing softly at her snoring best friend and getting out of the room.

-

taehyung sat at the counter, staring into nothing, a budding smile was etched into his face as he thought about the events that occurred a few days ago now, he had been in a pretty good mood since when he had finally talked to the girl he’s always wanted to know more about. it was this raging kind of excitement for knowing something about her after all those days of just seeing her pass by.

from what she’s told him, rumi is an event-planner who is usually pretty busy but these days, she has been taking up smaller tasks so she can focus more on herself, the dog she walks every other day is not her’s but her neighbours, his name is shiro and he is 'the cutest fluff ball’ (her words, not his, though he was sure he would agree to that part) her best friend is celeste who is a family lawyer and is very busy too, rumi is a big spender, and she hates how she never seems to have control over what she spends her money on. this was all he learned from her from their not-so-brief time spent together.

he had told a little about himself too, but most of the time, he loved to hear her talk and how she would animatedly wave her hands around, he definitely wasn’t aware that she practically drooled when she first heard him talk, he told her about jimin and his other friends, he talked a little bit about the flower shop, but never mentioned why exactly he started working there, he actively avoided talking about what he did for a living because again, no one knew except his closest friends and she was still very much a stranger. maybe one day he would tell her but that day seemed very far away.

his thoughts were interrupted when he heard the bell at the front door, he immediately snapped his head to look, assuming that maybe rumi had returned but grumbled when he saw it was his friend,  jungkook.

“really? i’ve been your best friend for 7 years now” jungkook deadpanned, annoyance clear in his voice and taehyung laughed at the pout on his face.

“which is exactly why i am tired, i’ve seen your face too many times” he said mockingly, and jungkook just glared at him as plopped down opposite to his friend behind the counter.

“i’m here because i missed you and you treat me like this” jungkook exclaimed dramatically, taehyung felt bad but then rolled his eyes as he saw jungkook bat his eyelashes at him, there was no way jungkook would actually tell him if he missed him.

“we both know that’s not true, now tell me why you’re here”

“jimin told me to pick you up” jungkook informed, silently looking around the store and then turning back to taehyung who quirked his eyebrow.

“i’m not going drinking again, i still have a headache from last time” jungkook’s face dropped into a playful glare at his friend’s words.

“why do you think so lowly of us? he just wants us all to hang out at the bakery” he waved off taehyung’s worries, even if he knew that taehyung would actually be up for another day of drinking if he pried enough.

“fine, give me 10 minutes, i will wrap everything up then we can leave” taehyung said, taking off his apron and starting his final checks, he finished double-checking everything which got more than a few complaints and groans from jungkook, this only amused taehyung and encouraged him to take more time. once he was finished, with a dramatic sigh of relief from jungkook, they left the flower shop and got into jungkook’s car to go to the bakery.

as soon as they reached the bakery, the smell of different loaves of bread, pastries and cakes surrounded them and jimin, noticing the two, waved excitedly whereas yoongi gave them a nod of acknowledgement.

“why did it take you forever to bring him?” yoongi whined, sipping on his now-warm strawberry milkshake while jimin came to them with two cups of each of their favorite drinks, strawberry ice tea for taehyung and a banana milkshake for jungkook who happily started slurping away.

“blame taehyung, he took so much time to wrap up the shop"jungkook complained, mouth full of milkshake and taehyung shook his head.

"don’t talk with your mouth full, kook” jimin scolded the younger one.

"what did you bring us here for?” taehyung asked, sitting beside yoongi while jungkook stayed standing with jimin, making their height difference all the more obvious.

“you don’t remember? it’s namjoon’s birthday is in a month” yoongi asked, with a raise of his eyebrow and taehyung felt a dull guilt for forgetting.

the boys always made a big deal about birthdays and special occasions from the beginning, but with the flower shop and art deal wrap-ups on his mind, taehyung completely forgot.

“jungkook didn’t know either” he pointed to the younger man, making a poor attempt at defending himself and jungkook’s eyes widened, shocked that taehyung would out him like that.

“don’t drag me into your shit” he half-yelled, hitting taehyung’s arm, making taehyung wince and moving away from the much stronger jungkook.

“have you started working out again kook?” he groaned in pain while rubbing his poor arm up and down and jungkook smirked, basking in his reaction.

“i sure did, just to beat you guys up” he proudly admitted with a huge grin, flexing his biceps and yoongi chuckled fondly at him.

“guys, we need to focus” jimin whined, exasperated while the two boys kept bickering.

after 20 more wasted minutes, they started discussing in a civil manner, soon the rest of the boys except namjoon of course, had arrived, so they could make some final plans.

they were all having a lot of fun, making fun of namjoon who was not present, and of course, taking the absolute shit out of each other, loud laughs and eyes filled with happy tears were all you could see in the little bakery.

suddenly, they felt a cold rush of the air come into the bakery and they all snapped their heads, not quite expecting any customers at this hour, only to see a girl step in.

“taehyung?” they heard a honey-sweet voice and he immediately knew who it was.

it couldn’t be her, right?

“rumi?” he frowned, getting out of his seat, the other boys looked at each other in utter confusion, except jimin who knew who rumi was and he tried to mask his smirk when he came to the realisation that this is the girl taehyung didn’t seem to shut up about for a few days.

“what are you doing here?” he asked, nervously stuffing his hands into his pockets and eyeing her involuntarily as she came closer. a small, awkward smile was settled on her face, not really expecting to have run into him today.

“i could ask you the same thing” she said, with a smirk when she saw how flustered he looked, she too was struggling with hiding her definitely reddened cheeks but it made her feel better that she wasn’t the only one who was taken off guard.

“we were all just hanging out” he trailed off, eyes darting towards his friends who were enjoying the view, and his hands reached to scratch the back of his neck, not knowing what exactly to do before reaching to run a hand through his hair while didn’t help rumi at all, she noticed his neck and hand veins which were very prominent and like any reasonable girl ever, they made her feel a little hot.

the rest of the boys watched them interact with peaked interest, quietly shaking their head at taehyung who seemed to have stopped functioning properly. they couldn’t believe his lack of game.

“it’s celeste’s birthday tomorrow and i forgot to pick up a cake, she’s gonna kill me if i go home without one and i’ve been to 5 shops already, they’re all closed” she whined while wringing her hands together, taehyung listened intently as she rambled on, finding it quite amusing as he always did, she seemed to be so invested in explaining things that her face would contort into many animated expressions which taehyung admired picking apart.

“wait, is this bakery still open?” she asked, worry clear in her voice, as looked around, seeing no one except the six boys gathered around the counter when jimin perked up, getting out of his seat to wave the girl to come over.

“yes ma'am, we are, which cake would you like?” he gave her a warm smile, quickly getting behind the counter and she sighed in relief, putting a hand to her chest.

“you are literally saving my life right now” she breathed out, flashing a quick smile to taehyung to excuse herself before speed walking to the counter.

taehyung watched as she looked through the different cakes, licking her lips ever so often, laughing whenever jimin would make a funny remark about something as the others watched everything happening, looking like a group of lost puppies. they didn’t know that jimin knew rumi from taehyung and they didn’t know rumi at all so this situation was more than a little confusing to them.

but they could guess enough from their friend’s red cheeks.

taehyung heard her thanking jimin a dozen times, jimin waving her polite thank you’s with a small smile, explaining he was more than happy to help and she bowed to him one last time as she walked back to taehyung..

“i’ve got the cake, so she will let me survive” she said, gesturing towards the plastic bag which now held a delicate cake and taehyung let out a small chuckle at her choice of words.

“glad to know you will survive” he mused and she smiled brightly, pushing her hair behind her ear.

“it’s a good time to be alive, i guess” she chuckled nervously, her cheeks turning red, mentally slapping herself for being so lame but taehyung didn’t seem to mind as he gave her a tiny smile.

he felt just as silly around her.

“crap, it’s getting late, i should probably go, bye taehyung” rumi pouted, glancing at her watch, and taehyung nodded, biting his lip, wanting to talk more but also not knowing exactly what to say.

she waved him goodbye which he reciprocated, before turning back to head out, she stepped into the empty streets, exhaling a breath she didn’t realise she was holding and then she heard racing footsteps behind her, she turned around to see a breathless taehyung.

he stopped in front of her, scratching the back of his neck as he struggled to find the words to say to her.

“i was thinking” he started, hands running through his hair as he trailed off, she stared at him expectantly and held back her giggles at his flustered expression.

“i was thinking” he repeated causing her to let out a big grin and he groaned out in frustration, he was really botching it.

“what is it, flower boy?” she asked, teasing the already very nervous man in front of her, hoping that would make him less nervous and it did as he laughed breezily at the nickname.

please don’t ever stop calling me that, he thought, he couldn’t help it, he loved hearing her say those two words.

“i was thinking we could maybe go get a cup of coffee sometime”

 -

“i was thinking we could maybe go get a cup of coffee sometime” he quickly blurted out, with wide eyes and hesitation clear in his voice, and rumi was more than pleased that he took the initiative.

“i would love to, taehyung” she softly sighed out and a grin made its way on taehyung as he let out a breath of relief, muttering a low 'thank god’.

“i still don’t have your number though” she hinted, pursing her lips and taehyung immediately took his phone out of his pocket, almost dropping it, making her let out a amused laugh and placed it in her hands and she did the same, typing each other’s numbers with red cheeks and euphoric eyes.

“see you soon, taehyung” she gave him one last smile, which made his heart race and the way she said his name made him feel so many unexplainable things but he nodded at her, trying to remain calm and returning her infectious smile.

she walked away with a bounce in her step, this seemed to be the way she walked after every conversation she had with him.

taehyung just stood there, dumbfounded that he finally found the courage to ask her out, and then he heard the bakery door open, he turned around with a stupid grin on his face, to see jimin standing there with a huge smirk on his face which made him drop his smile immediately.

“if you’re done being romeo, i think you should come in” jimin teased him and taehyung huffed, feeling embarrassed and walked in to see all of them looking at him with smirks on their faces, and he knew that they would never let this die down.

“guys i-” he started to explain when jin put his hand up, stopping him.

“jimin filled us in when you were gone, gotta say taehyung-, i expected you to be better with this and you know, you could have come to your older brother for help” jin joked, shaking his head at the younger man and sipping his drink while the others agreed that taehyung’s skills needed to get better soon.

“i barely know her, we just started talking” taehyung argued, getting into his seat but of course, the others just continued to tease him, it was not like they would actually listen to him.

“she is really pretty” jungkook spoke up, and all the others agreed in loud voices which only flustered taehyung even more.

“what does she do?” hoseok asked in the middle of the ruckus which silenced all of them and they looked at taehyung expectantly, more than eager for any information about her.

“oh, she’s an event planner” he replied simply, sipping his drink when jimin’s eyes widened, beaming with excitement.

“guys, i have a perfect idea” jimin exclaimed, slamming his hand on the table and they just looked at him, with blank faces because his 'brilliant’ ideas were usually a bust.

“really jimin? the last time you had the 'perfect’ idea, we ended up having to clean my house for 5 hours” yoongi complained, jimin gave him a glare while the others snickered.

“that was one time, get over it” jimin exclaimed and the others shook their heads, knowing that whichever plan he had wouldn’t work out at all.

“fine then, what is your 'perfect’ idea?” hoseok stressed on the 'perfect’, while the others hid their snickers at his tone for the sake of jimin’s ego.

“she’s an event planner, right?” he started, hands animatedly gesturing unknown things and taehyung nodded, not quite understanding where he was going with this.

“we’re looking for an event planner for namjoon’s birthday party anyway” jimin trailed off and some of them nodded in realisation, it wasn’t that bad of an idea after all.

“we could ask her to be the event planner!” jungkook said excitedly and the five boys rolled their eyes while jimin excitedly nodded at the younger boy, giving him a quick high-five from across the table.

“i think we all got that, kook” jin deadpanned and the youngest pouted at that, mumbling a 'i was just saying’.

“i don’t know about that guys, i mean i’m sure she’s really good but wouldn’t it be weird?” taehyung questioned, not fully into the idea, he still knew too little about rumi to comfortably ask her anything and hoseok shook his head, thinking the complete opposite.

“why would it be weird, taehyung, like you said, she might be really good and we need someone like that for namjoon’s birthday, her being your acquaintance is just a happy perk” hoseok explained it like it was no big deal, it wouldn’t be a big deal to taehyung too if he could have a conversation with her without wanting the ground to swallow him up, but the others nodded in agreement, thinking it was after all a 'perfect’ idea just like jimin emphasized.

“maybe when you both get that cup of coffee, you can mention it to her” jimin teased, letting it be known that he heard their conversation clear as day and taehyung glared at him.

“how much of our conversation did you hear?” taehyung asked, irritation and embarrassment heavy in his voice, he didn’t need jimin hearing him stutter and struggle to speak over a simple coffee date.

“enough to know that you don’t have game” jimin snickered, to which all of the others broke out in rowdy laughter and cheers, slapping jimin on his back for the remark and taehyung just sat there, with red cheeks and a plan to murder park jimin later.

-

on her walk back home, rumi couldn’t stop smiling, she finally got his number, she probably will hang out with him and the more she thought of him, the more excited she became. 

when she reached home, she put the cake in the fridge and saw celeste snoozing away on the couch, there was still 2 hours left for her birthday, so rumi just let her be.

in the meantime, she quietly started decorating their small kitchen with fairy lights, balloons, sweet-smelling candles, she tiptoed around the apartment, trying her hardest to not wake the sleeping girl which was easy considering that celeste was a heavy sleeper.

after the decoration was done, rumi showered, changed into more comfortable clothes and patiently waited for it to become midnight.

when the clock showed 12:00, she rushed into kitchen and brought out the cake, and softly sang 'happy birthday’, celeste groaned and tried to hide her face in the pillows, while rumi just sigh