[ 12:23PM ] “You did what?” Yoongi asked again from the other line.
You did a cautious glance around you, careful not to make your voice too loud before you answer his inquiry since you were afraid that potential nosy co-workers will be able to eavesdrop. “I put a picture of the two of us.”
“Where?”
“Beside my monitor.”
“With only you and me?”
“Yeah.”
He didn’t speak for about three seconds, causing you to think of all the possible worst scenarios that could bloom from your confession in that short amount of time. “What picture?”
You cleared your throat. “In the steak house this year.”
Ah, the ever so famous steak house picture. When you uploaded that on your IG account, specifically as a story, you got a bunch of replies from mutuals, all asking if you and Yoongi were finally dating after being close friends for God knows how long. You couldn’t blame them for thinking in such a way, considering that your smiles in the photo were too big to not be suspicious of—not to mention your heads too that were pressed together as you sat side by side, actually waiting for your other high school friends to arrive in the restaurant you planned to meet in. Some may even argue that your arms were linked beneath the view of the camera or perhaps your hands were intertwined.
“____—”
“It’s just a repellant,” you assured him immediately before he could protest.
“Huh?”
“A repellant,” you inhaled, “you know… like something to keep other people’s noses in my business. They just keep on setting me up with this one guy in the other department, Yoon. I couldn’t help it!” you practically hissed the last part, finally standing up and walking away from your desk to have some privacy.
“So, basically, what you’re saying is—you’re using me as a cover-up boyfriend?”
You pursed your lips. “Yeah, basically.”
He snorted at the ridiculousness of your actions. “Why me? You could have chosen Taehyung. The both of you would look more convincing.”
“Taehyung’s seeing someone. I wouldn’t want to cause complications in case this backfires.”
“And you didn’t think that would happen with me too?”
“Well, it’s not like you’re seeing anyone as well,” you reasoned. “I mean, you aren’t, are you?”
“Nope.”
“See? How could you anyways? You’re a freaking surgeon. You have no social life.”
“Uh, of course, I still have a social life?“
“Just because you see inpatients almost everyday via appointments doesn’t mean you have a social life.”
Yoongi laughed, a low kind of one that inevitably makes a grin appear on your lips. “Keep that attitude up and I’ll break up with you.”
You raised your eyebrows at the retort, intrigued by his fast agreeableness. “Wait a minute, does that mean you’re okay with this?”
“With the whole fake boyfriend stuff?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Yeah, sure. It’s just a picture.”
“And also fake relationship stories—just a heads up.”
You could see how he might have rolled his eyes at that statement despite only hearing his voice from the phone. “Okay, whatever, use me all you want.”
You squealed, visibly jumping and swaying side by side in giddiness. “Really?”
“Sure. Ruin all of my chances of ever dating someone.”
“Come on, it’s just going to be for the meantime—”
“I’m kidding.” He cut you off with a snort. “Dating is out of the picture too with my hectic schedule. So, do whatever you have to do.”
“For real?” you exclaimed again.
He laughed at your reaction. “Yes, ____.”
“Ah, I owe you so much, Yoon!”
He fondly made a sound of approval. “Treat me to dinner later for the first installment of your payment. I have some spare time.”
“Alright. I’ll treat you to anywhere you want!”
“I’m going to hold onto that.” He chuckled. “Anyways, is that all you called me for? I have to attend a conference in a few minutes.”
“Yup. That’s all.”
“Okay. See you later then.”
You nodded, the big grin still on your features. “See you. Looking forward to it.”
Yoongi hummed in a soft manner before hanging up.
As you began to stride back to your workstation, happy because of the success of your plan to convince him to agree in being your cover-up boyfriend, you walked past Jihye, one of your said nosy co-workers who seemed like she overheard a part of your conversation, smiling at you.
“Was that your boyfriend?” she asked.
You placed your phone back inside your pocket, a new type of giddiness erupting inside your chest. “Yeah.”
“Ooh, are you two having a date?”
You nodded in a seemingly proud fashion. “It’s just dinner.”
“Still, I’m jealous.” She sighed dreamily and teasingly at you, causing you to chuckle while she went on with her agenda before stopping by to engage in small talk.
You stayed in your spot longer than intended, thinking about the events that may happen because of your desperation to not be linked to that other person in the office—but you didn’t really care, to be honest, knowing that if it was going to be Yoongi, everything was going to flow smoother than reckoned.
At least, that’s what you thought.
note. just a very short drabble inspired by a scene in yumi’s cell ! hehe
THANK YOU FOR READING & FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED !♡(ˆ‿ˆԅ)
the one where it was either seokjin or jeongguk who was going to advance to the next game.
━ seokjin & jeongguk (platonic jinkook) ━ 1.4k words. ━pg-15 ━ angst; squid game au; inspired by a tiktok comment i saw recently that i cant remember specifically where :< ━warning/s: taking place in the marble scene of the series so… character death obvs | also,,, my writing is rusty lmao so this might be really really bad and feel really really rushed as well lmao (i really just wanna post this so dont mind me yall ahsjsahsaj)
Jeongguk could only stare at Seokjin once the announcer stopped informing the players of what the next game was going to be.
He couldn’t determine what Seokjin’s expression meant; all he could see was how the guy’s eyebrows rose and how his lips somehow turned upwards in a slight smirk, as if he was actually amused by the unexpected turn of events and not frightened nor conflicted by it like all the people in this makeshift village were feeling after hearing about the mechanics of the next game they were going to partake in. But in the decades they have treated each other as brothers, worked together and trusted no one as fully as the rest among the crowd of strangers and desperate people like them in the four days there were stuck in this arena, Jeongguk no longer questioned Seokjin’s calmness with regards to what was supposed to take place in the next 30 minutes.
“What game do you want to play?” Seokjin asked finally, turning his eyes to him with a lopsided smile.
Jeongguk didn’t answer. His hands only clenched into fists.
“Should we just play the classic one? The one where we guess if the number of marbles in our hand are even or odd?”
“I want to choose another player,” Jeongguk said, his head however directed to the masked guard in charge of them and not at Seokjin.
As expected, the masked guard didn’t reply, didn’t even make a subtle movement of approval or disapproval for that matter, and before Jeongguk could decide to march up to the person and demand that his request be acknowledged, Seokjin weakly held his shoulder in warning, knowing that there was nothing they could do to change the course of their ‘fate’.
“Jeongguk—”
“We’re supposed to get out of here together,” Jeongguk explained agitatedly. “How the fuck is that going to happen if we’re supposed to be play as opponents.”
“It’s not like we ever played as partners prior.” Seokjin snorted. “Besides, you can’t honestly believe that, do you?”
His frustrated expression faltered, replaced with confusion and outraged at the nerve of being asked that question. “What?”
“We knew right from the beginning that there was only going to be one winner in this competition, Guk,” Seokjin explained with a nonchalant shrug. “It’s not like they were going to let us bag the 45.6 billion won as a pair. I thought you understood that when we went back here.”
“I did.”
“Then what’s with the showcase of attitude?”
“Showcase of attitude?” he repeated. “Aren’t you angry at the fact that we’re supposed to kill each other right now? Why are you making it seem like I’m overreacting and throwing a fucking tantrum, huh?”
Seokjin sighed. “We’re not killing each other.”
“Oh,yeah, we’re just letting the other get murdered, is that it?”
“Jeongguk—”
“I’m not playing this game with you,” he hissed.
“Well, I’m not letting the both of us get killed too.” Seokjin huffed, nodding towards the huge LED timer hanging on the wall. “We’ve already come this far. I’m not going to waste the opportunity of either of us joining the next round just because the situation isn’t ideal. We have 28 minutes left. What do you want to play?”
“There has to be another way, Hyung.”
Seokjin frowned. This was the first time he actually saw Jeongguk looking defeated and worried over the time they had to compete in this messed up competition. “Don’t worry,” he said instead, plastering another smile as he jiggled the black pouch full of marbles playfully to him, “I’ll go easy on you.”
“Don’t… don’t do that.”
“Does that mean you’ll go easy on me instead then?” The playful tone was still there.
“Hyung,” he gritted his teeth, more seriously now, “promise me you won’t go easy on me.”
“Alright,” Seokjin nodded and even held his pink out, “I promise.”
Jeongguk didn’t bother answering after that, just letting out a gust of frustrated breath as he felt that he had no choice but to comply due to Seokjin’s firmness about the matter.
The thing was though—the both of them always knew who had the upperhand when it came to games or anything in general, really. Right from when they were kids, it has always been Jeongguk who was hailed the winner or the best among the two of them; he was a naturally skilled kid after all, the type to always be the best in anything he pursued. However, in Seokjin’s defense, the reason why he lost most of the time too wasn’t because of the fact that he was bad himself which made winning easy for the younger man, but because as predictable as it was, Seokjin purposely didn’t try that hard for the result to be always in the favor of the former as well, something that Jeongguk only began noticing when he reached 17 years old and realized that there was no simple way in prevailing against him, ultimately causing Seokjin to finally fight fair.
That was why Jeongguk also didn’t want to play with him. He knew what Seokjin was going to do even at situation like this where his own life was at stake, and he didn’t trust him enough to not do otherwise.
“You cheated.”
Seokjin glanced up from looking at their palms, that same amused smirk conquering his lips. Jeongguk just guessed the right number group that Seokjin was playing with, wagering with an amount that was exact to it too. “Shouldn’t I say that between the two of us?” he asked, already pouring the last marble—the single only one that was left in his possession—to Jeongguk’s pouch.
“You… you’re doing it on purpose,” Jeongguk breathed out, his hand shaking and pulling the pouch closer to him in attempt to haul it farther from Seokjin, but he didn’t move it fast enough to prevent the latter’s movements for it to be of any worth. “You never play fair. I’m not a fucking kid anymore for you to do this to me—”
“I didn’t cheat, Guk—”
“You fucking did!”
“How? Can’t you see that you deserved this win?”
Jeongguk was beginning to burn in rage. Because of Seokjin, because of the stupid game, because of their choice to go back here, because of the reality of what’s about to commence—
“It’s okay, Jeongguk.” Seokjin interrupted his train of thought, hurriedly yet gently enclosing the small bag black containing all the marbles inside Jeongguk’s fist. “You deserved it.”
“What?” he exclaimed, eyes glaring at the older man, eyes watering at the thought of losing him. “How in the hell is this okay? Do you even fucking realize what—”
“—I do.”
“What?” He shouted in complete resentment now, not stopping himself from letting all his emotions out.
Seokjin smiled, in a manner that showed only sadness and annoying authenticity. “Hyung will do it, Jeongguk.”
“What?” he repeated for the nth time, knees seemingly buckling with his tears finally falling on his cheeks.
“LetHyungdo it,” Seokjin said. “It’s okay.”
Jeongguk couldn’t help but suddenly grasp Seokjin’s collar harshly, pushing him against the wall in violence that made the guard automatically point his gun at the side of Jeongguk’s head, an action that the latter didn’t care about. “Are you fuckingcrazy?” he snarled.
“It’s easier this way.”
“No!”
“It’s okay, Jeongguk,” Seokjin grabbed his hands on his shirt and forcefully removed it, “it’s okay.”
“No,” Jeongguk shook his head rapidly, trying still to stop Seokjin while he walked to the guard to present his empty pouch, “I won’t let you do this—”
“You won.”
“Hyung—”
“Hyung will do it.” He finished again, one last turn being done before his hands rose up to grasp Jeongguk’s shoulders tightly. “You won it fair and square. So, make sure to win the rest of the game too, alright?”
“Hyung…” Jeongguk practically begged, but Seokjin only patted his back and immediately showed the empty pouch he had to the masked guard to declare the loser of the game. He, on the other hand, couldn’t move his feet even if he wanted to; he understood that maybe this has always been Seokjin’s plan all along—to help him in the games but never succeed it with him.
Jeongguk felt Seokjin squeeze his shoulder again and he stared at him with bloodshot eyes.
“You did well, Guk,” he said, another squeeze until he retracts his arm back to his side. “Thanks for playing with me for the last time.”
As the guard lifted their weapon, Jeongguk’s gaze shifted from Seokjin’s face to the gun, the finger on the trigger being pressed in what looked like in slow motion.
Unthinkingly, Jeongguk ran towards Seokjin.
BANG!
The two of them staggered.
A long silence.
“Player 091, eliminated.”
THANK YOU FOR READING & FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED!♡(ˆ‿ˆԅ)
summary: will you ever be able to get over your crush on kim taehyung?
a/n: this marks the end of the fools universe (which can be read individually)! i’m very overwhelmed and excited for this final part, but i will miss writing this universe a lot, i struggled a lot with this one but i’m happy with the ending, thank you to every single one of you who’s read it, it means the world and more to me, i hope you enjoy this last part a lot <3
“i don’t know what to say, kim taehyung” taehyung hangs his head low as his professor chews his ear out, he really should have just finished his assignment instead of being curious about jin’s love life.
“you are not even close to passing this semester, let alone having a decent grade, i know you take this subject as a minor but it still affects your overall score” taehyung nods at his words, wincing every now and then because he didn’t realize the gravity of the situation until his professor narrates it to him.
“you know that this could potentially harm your scholarship, right?”
“i am aware” taehyung shamefully replies and his professor sighs at him.
“taehyung, as your parents friend and well-wisher, you worked hard for this scholarship and i can’t just watch you throw it all away” taehyung absolutely hates when his professor gets personal with him.
why not just lecture him and let him go?
he can take the harshest words without feeling a lot but the second it gets personal; he feels guilty for slacking off.
and taehyung hates feeling guilty.
“because i know how much this will hurt your record in the long run, i will pass you this one time, only once” as soon as those words leave the professor in a disappointed sigh, taehyung internally cheers but it’s short-lived. someone enters the same classroom and taehyung doesn’t know who they are which is weird considering he knows all of his classmates. at least he thought he knew everyone. he carefully eyes the new person in the room, with furrowed eyebrows and pouted lips, trying to identify her.
“ah, y/n, right on time as always” so her name is y/n.
taehyung doesn’t understand why she looks so nervous but he just assumes she’s just one of those people who doesn’t like being around people.
“you asked me to come, sir?” you trail off, already feeling a blush crawling at the back of your neck with taehyung in the same room.
it’s no secret (to yourself) that taehyung has been your crush since you started university and saw him having a playful banter with the professors and just seeming to have a blast with his friends, he was simply the coolest person you saw, and that led to a hopeless crush on your side, but you also know that he has no clue about you.
and suddenly being in the same room with him, you feel flustered and intimidated, not in a bad way, more so in a ‘wow, you’re even more gorgeous up close’ way and your hands don’t keep still, they keep shaking with a mind of their own and your head is nothing but a fumbled mess.
“yeah, your assignment was perfect, you covered every important point but still managed to make it easy to read, keep it up, y/n.” you stay silent with the praise you get as your professor hands your graded assignment with a smile on his face and you bow before taking it from him.
A.
you sigh in relief and look up to notice taehyung giving you a weird expression, and you didn’t know what to make of it, you were sure you didn’t look that ugly today nor was your hair a mess, today had been a good day, looks-wise for you but then again, you imagine that a guy like taehyung has higher standards.
taehyung, on the other hand, just couldn’t understand how you don’t react to the praise or the high grade, if it was him who got an A, he would be busy getting smashed in some bar but your nonchalance confuses him.
whatever, he’s got a failed semester to care about right now.
“and right, you asked me if you could tutor someone for extra credit?” the professor asks you and you nod in response, you need that extra credit for your scholarship to hold for the next few semesters, and a little extra money from it wouldn’t hurt you either.
“yes, i did”
“what about him?” the professor points to kim taehyung and your eyes widen, but it seems like you’re not the only one taken aback because taehyung immediately turns to the professor with a frown on his eyes.
oh, he does not like the idea.
you can’t help but be a little disappointed when he looks that annoyed over this.
he doesn’t even know you so you can’t exactly blame him but his reaction makes you internally wince.
“you didn’t even ask me” taehyung complains noisily to the professor and you just keep your head low, deciding to talk only when you’re spoken to.
“you really don’t have a choice here kim taehyung, you are failing and only passing because i passed you, and the least you can do to improve is get a tutor, i would be grateful if i were you, y/n is one of the best students we have.” you feel a little bashful with all the praise you’re getting, the professor is always this way with you but you can’t take it gracefully with your crush is standing right there.
but it’s just dawning on you that you have to tutor him, your crush, actually spend time with him, help him out and improve his grade, spending time with him is the only thing you could think of right now though even if it both terrifies and excites you the slightest bit.
mostly terrified though.
“fine” taehyung surrenders with a not-so-subtle glare thrown to the professor who really couldn’t give less of a shit by the looks of it.
“good, you two can work out a schedule together” the professor says dismissively, grabbing the papers off his desk and his bag, nodding at you two and leaving the room.
the room felt suffocating with taehyung’s heavy mood and your inability to defuse it, you are supposed to discuss the plan with him but you’re not going to initiate it, you don’t want to seem that desperate, besides you think it’s better to leave him when he looks annoyed, you don’t want to accidentally piss him off.
so, you quickly turn towards the door and speed walk out of the room, taking a deep breath and leaning against a wall outside the room, you didn’t expect this from the end of your day. seeing taehyung from anywhere closer than ten feet away is definitely not what you expected and your heart is still pounding from being in the same room as him, you feel warm all over and you don’t know if you feel elated or embarrassed.
-
you groan and take your glasses off to rub at the bridge of your nose, classes were a drag and you have work piled on for the weekend, it’s not like you had any plans but it would have been nice if you could rest for a bit, and the lunch in front of you isn’t helping at all. it doesn’t look appetizing and smells old, you are not even sure if you can eat it.
“what’s up?” you hear from right beside your ear making you gasp and flinch, moving away from the sound and your glasses slide off the table, making a clattering sound that makes you flinch more.
“woah, calm down” you lift your head to see taehyung standing there with a huge smile and your eyes widen, he picks your glasses up and holds them out to you, you take them back with shaky hands and put it on yourself.
when did he get here? you usually notice when he’s in a room.
“you scared me” you mumble and push your glasses up, unable to look straight at him for more than a few seconds, you don’t think you can handle that, so, just imagine the way your heart jumps to your throat when taehyung takes a seat right beside you.
“didn’t mean to do that, sorry” he smiles brightly as he leans his face on his propped-up hand and sits wide-legged in front of you, his knees are brushing over your legs and if he noticed, he doesn’t care about it but you do, you care about the way your heart slips continuously when his skin carelessly touches yours.
he definitely looks like he is in a better mood than he was a few days ago.
“it’s okay, did you need something?” you look down at your food, picking at it with a small whine caught in your throat as you wait for him to answer.
“we need to discuss our schedule” you raise your eyebrows at him, you thought because he never got in contact with you again, that he simply just didn’t want it and you brushed it off, thinking it was probably better for you too, your crush on him was embarrassingly huge and you know how nervous you will get, so you were relieved when he didn’t try to contact you.
“i thought you weren’t doing it” your response is as nervous as you feel.
“i wasn’t but i don’t have a choice” he chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. he looks ridiculously attractive in his simple oversized t-shirt and cream-colored trousers and his awkward habit is endearing, your cheeks flush as you look away from him and back to your food.
“can we talk about this after i’m done eating?” you never really prepared yourself to have a conversation with him so you just wish he leaves you alone for now and comes back when you’re not feeling and looking like shit.
“you’re going to eat this?” taehyung murmurs in disbelief, side glancing the less-than-appetizing food in your tray.
“i don’t have a choice” it feels weird to repeat his words to him but from what you can see, he doesn’t think too much about it which is a huge relief.
“yes, you do” he says with a sigh, getting up and you look up at him with scrunched eyebrows.
“you’re coming to lunch with me and don’t worry, it’s my treat, one of many now that you’re my tutor” he grins easily at you, grabbing your backpack from the seat and eagerly waiting for you with bright eyes and his entire posture is relaxed, like having lunch with a stranger is totally okay with him.
is this what extroverts are like?
why was he so comfortable with you? this is your second time meeting and you didn’t even speak directly the first time.
it didn’t seem like he was asking you to come either, more like just waiting for you to join him, so you get up with a stammer in your step, anything that is not your college lunch is something you would welcome happily and lunch with taehyung doesn’t seem like a bad idea, not yet.
but you’re nervous, though one thing that saves you is that you have always been good at hiding how you feel.
taehyung smiles at you one last time, so easily, so beautifully, like it wouldn’t make you stutter, before turning around and leading the way, with your backpack slung over his shoulder, you feel too shy to ask for it and that you will probably stutter through your words when you speak to him, so you just silently follow him out of the cafeteria, ignoring the weird looks you two got on the way out.
you cautiously step into the classy bakery that taehyung takes you to, he tried to make conversation on the way but your answers were so short that even you felt embarrassed, taehyung though, didn’t look like he cared, if he found you awkward, he didn’t show it and you were grateful to him for that.
“namjoon hyung is the manager here, so i can get us a pretty discount” he winks at the end of the sentence, obviously as a joke but you can’t help how flustered you feel with a simple wink.
you are eating lunch with your crush who you thought was way out of your league, is something you have dreamed about, you never actually expected to sit across taehyung as he talks animatedly about how good the coffee and desserts are here.
judging by the fruity and addictingly sweet smell that fills the air around you, you don’t question his praise, your own mouth waters at the thought of the pretty pastries you see lined up right at the counter and the coffee bean smell is so soothing, you might have just found your favorite place that wasn’t your apartment.
a waiter (you can’t believe he’s a waiter with how handsome he was) comes up to you both but taehyung already seemed to know the guy who groaned as soon as he saw taehyung, taehyung leans back lazily in his seat with an ever-present grin on his face.
“why do you come back with a new girl every week?” the pouty guy whines at taehyung and your eyes widen with your head still down, so you’re not the first one he’s brought here, it was foolish of you to think so as well and taehyung playfully swats at the guys arm, his grin unwavering and you only purse your lips at the empty table.
god, you want to run away.
“order whatever you want” he gestures to the menu and you quickly scan over it, a low squeal in your throat when you see that they have your favorite, pho and fudge brownies. you lift your head to tell taehyung to see him in an animated conversation with the waiter, nudging him from time to time and just looking like he was having the time of his life, like he always does, you lightly tap the table to get his attention and he immediately abandons the conversation and leans over, making you move back at the sudden movement, he only seems amused by your reaction.
“you’re a little quiet, so i just wanted to listen to you better, what did you decide on?” he explains simply and you can’t help but gaze into his eyes as he keeps them steady on you, for someone like him, eye contact isn’t a problem, isn’t a big deal but it makes your heart pound, you nod slowly and mumble your order, sinking back into your seat.
“excellent choice, pho and brownies for two, and is it alright if i order the drinks?” he turns to you for confirmation and once he’s received a mumble of agreement, turns back to the waiter.
“two peach iced teas” and with that, the waiter leaves but not without smacking taehyung one last time. taehyung pretends that he’s in a lot of pain and winces childishly which has you holding back a smile as the waiter shakes his head at him before disappearing to the back, your eyes curiously follow him to the counter where all the desserts are laid out.
taehyung is quick to catch your wandering eyes and finds it funny that since he’s met you, the only time he’s seen you smile is when you’re looking at desserts.
“you want to take a look?” taehyung walks towards the counter, which has you trailing behind him. you slowly take in the view of all the chocolate pastries that could be in your stomach and taehyung stays right at your back, watching you move around excitedly and admire them.
“are you into baking or something?” he finally asks after five minutes of you moving around him with big, fascinated eyes.
“no, i just like to eat” your answer comes out before you can even think about it and you only realize it when taehyung breaks into a chuckle at your words, making you shuffle on your feet, clearing your throat and looking back at the especially good-looking tiramisu.
“are you always this quiet or is it just with me?” the question takes you off guard, and you think taehyung is upset but there is no hint of frustration or annoyance on his face, only genuine curiosity.
“i don’t like to talk much, it’s nothing against you i promise” you try to reassure and be as honest as you could.
“that’s a relief” he smiles and walks back to the table where your food is waiting, you walk back with a bounce to your step because you haven’t been this hungry in a while. and as soon as you sit down, you reach for your steaming bowl of pho and sigh in bliss.
taehyung notices your exaggerated reactions to your food and simply smiles to himself.
something about you, he likes it, he doesn’t mind being the only one talking the entire time, he doesn’t mind how you only seem to talk when spoken to, it’s new to him, he’s always surrounded by people just as extroverted as him, so this isn’t something he’s used to but taehyung doesn’t mind.
taehyung doesn’t mind at all.
-
you walk home with rosy cheeks that day, because you can finally confirm that taehyung is just as charming, just as care-free as he looks, and he’s very good company, usually people get annoyed that conversations with you feel one-sided and you don’t blame them but it’s freeing with how comfortable taehyung tried to make you feel.
it isn’t very good news to the crush you already have on him; you feel like it’s grown ten-fold. and it’s only the second time meeting him, you are nervous for your poor heart which jumps with every glance he gives you.
and with the schedule you two planned, consisting of meeting up almost every other day because taehyung simply wants his grades to not be on the ground, you are sure that your heart only will go through so much more.
your nerves don’t calm down as your legs bounce up and down below the table at the library you’re sat at, your lip hurts from how much you’ve bit it as you anxiously look around for taehyung who is yet to show up for your first tutoring session. you can’t look like this in front of him so you’re doing whatever you can to be as normal as you can be.
you have to get over him at some point, you can’t tutor him while giving him heart-eyes.
“hey!” a bright greeting comes from behind you and you almost fall out of your seat, your elbow slips on the table and your chin hits the table, as if scaring you at lunch back then wasn’t bad enough, you begrudgingly think and groan at the pain on your chin.
taehyung does nothing to help and just sits down beside you with a happy hum, his books dropping in front of him in a heap and his smile doesn’t budge even when you glare at him while rubbing your chin.
“do you have to scare me every time?” you whine, your chin already becoming sore, you’re in enough pain to not have the mind to worry about how stupid you just looked. he simply shrugs at you.
“do you have to get scared every time?” comes his almost immediate retort and how will you argue with that logic while processing how close these library seats are next to each other? your reply comes with a roll of your eyes, though you’re sure that your cheeks are as warm as the sun blaring outside.
taehyung finds absolute satisfaction and amusement from your reaction and it shows in the way he leans back proudly in seat as you pretend to jot down notes, at this point, you don’t even know what you are writing anymore but you’re writing.
suddenly, just as you’re about to finally stop acting like you’re busy and get back to him, your glasses are snatched from your face and you don’t even have to look to see who took it. taehyung twirls the glasses in his hands with a smug grin, and then puts them on, wiggling his eyebrows and pouting every now and then. and you feel your heart burst with how cute he looks.
if it was anyone else, you are sure you would have hated it. but it’s taehyung and you don’t think you could ever hate him.
you watch with curious eyes as he gets all serious and grabs a book, writing with an invisible pen furiously. you tilt your head because you don’t quite understand what he’s doing.
it takes quite a second to dawn on you that he’s actually imitating you.
“look at me, i’m y/n, star student” he squeals in a high-pitched voice that most definitely is not yours.
your mouth falls open in offence, and even before you could think about it, you swat his arm with a loud complaint leaving your lips, as he laughs at you, pushing your hand off and continuing to act like he was you. you groan and throw your head back in annoyance, though you really don’t feel as annoyed, you just feel a hundred times more comfortable with taehyung now.
after a string of complaints from you, taehyung finally gives your glass back but instead of just handing them back to you, he slides them on your face himself and you feel every bit of you twisting and turning at the simple action. you cough awkwardly into your hand and turn away from him, moving your books out of the way so you could get started.
“which subject do you want to start with?” as a response, taehyung drops a thick book right in front of you.
art history.
tricky but you can work with it.
“okay, how much do you know already?” you ask him and he thinks with lips pushed into a pout.
“can i be honest?”
“of course.” you nod at him.
“i know nothing, i slept through all the classes” he admits sheepishly and you giggle a little at his confession.
of course, not to be creepy or anything but you knew about this, you have unconsciously turned to see him in class more than a few times, only to see him passed out on his bench with his backpack covering his head.
“that’s alright, one thing that’s helped me with art history is memorizing it all like a story” you let him in on your secret, you always envision history like a story book, or a tv show that you’re invested in, thinking up characters in actual scenes, it helps you remember a lot better than just book material.
so, you tell him the same thing, you start explaining in brief various parts of print culture, origins of different eras, the rise of modern art that we usually see today, and artists that revolutionized the world of art, all in the form of a movie that taehyung intently listens to.
you didn’t expect him to listen as well as he did, but he stays quiet for the most part, politely lifting his hand to ask questions like he was in an actual class which made you grin the first time and taking notes when something seemed complicated.
by the time you’re done, it’s almost dinner time and the library is much emptier than it was before but taehyung still looks excited to learn more. it’s endearing how he listens to you like nothing else matters and makes you feel the tiniest bit special.
“that’s it for today” you announce with an exhausted smile on your face and taehyung stretches his sore limbs while yawning.
“that was a lot but it is more fun when you explain it” he drops the compliment casually, no regards to how that makes your nerves dance in sheer excitement.
“i’m glad you enjoyed it” you mumble shyly while packing your books into your bag. you get up, throwing it over your shoulder and look at taehyung only to see him already looking at you.
“i’ll go now, goodbye taehyung” your voice unwillingly pitchy at the end.
“goodbye, y/n” he repeats in the same tone as you and you roll your eyes yet again while walking away from his gleeful laughter and right outside the library, you break into the biggest grin ever, the butterflies in your stomach raging and tumbling over themselves because you simply can’t believe that the last couple of hours are real.
how will you ever get over him?
-
you groan as you plop down in your seat, you slept weird last night and your neck cramp still hasn’t gone away, your body aches all over, you don’t even know why, walking feels like you’re carrying a million stones and honestly, you would be anywhere but here if you had the chance.
there’s still a good 20 minutes left before class starts so you rest your head on the table and pray that you aren’t sick, you still have taehyung’s class today and it would be rude to cancel on only your fifth session with him.
just then, taehyung walks into the classroom, seemingly bustling with endless energy, surrounded by his friends who are just as bright and loud as he is, and with your head still on the table, you admire him. he’s wearing this red hoodie today and his hair looks very soft beneath, a quick thought that he looks perfect to cuddle comes to you and you want to slam your head on the table to stop thinking about him.
he suddenly glances around the room, as if he’s looking for someone and you try to lift your head from the table to look away but you feel way too weak to do anything so he catches your gaze, his face breaking into a huge grin as he waves at you gleefully, you slowly wave back, mentally wanting to disappear.
and you think that’s it, he will go to his seat and you will have to finish this class while looking like you’re going to die any minute.
but you were so wrong.
as soon as your hand drops back on the table, taehyung starts walking towards you, where his usual seat is definitely not there and stands right beside you with a worried look on his face.
“oh, hey” you try to cover your face a little more with your hoodie and your heart gets caught in your throat when taehyung pulls a chair to sit right by your side. you look like crap right now and the last person you need seeing you like this, is kim taehyung.
“you don’t look okay” he mutters with scrunched eyebrows and before you can say anything, he presses his hand to your forehead and your eyes go wide as he flips his hand and holds it there for a second.
“you’re literally burning, how long have you had a fever for?” he pulls his hand away and you finally feel like you can breathe again.
“i don’t know, woke up sick” you strain your answer, your head lulling back to fall on the bench, now that he’s confirmed you have a fever, you feel even sicker.
“come on, let’s go” taehyung gets up suddenly, gathering the books on your table and shoving them into your bag, then taking your backpack and his in one hand, looking at you expectantly.
“go where?” you frown up at him, class is going to begin in 10 minutes now, where could you possibly go without missing it?
“i’ll take you home” your mouth drops open at his words.
“but class is going to start” you try to reason but get interrupted with your own cough and he only looks more concerned.
“you shouldn’t care about class with a fever like that” he scolds lightly, taking your wrist and helping you up to stand, and you almost fall down in a slump again if it weren’t for him holding you.
maybe you are sicker than you thought.
“what will we even tell the professor?” you almost shout at him as he pulls you towards the back exit of the classroom, and when the two of you are out, he checks to see if there’s anyone else in the hallway and turns to you with a coy smile.
“who said we’re telling them?” is the last thing he says to you before he ducks and runs, pulling you with him but you don’t stop him or complain anymore, you know that it’s not only because you’re sick everywhere, maybe the thought of skipping classes shouldn’t have excited your tired body that much but the thought of skipping classes with taehyung made your body flush in new-found energy.
so, you let him pull you all the way out of campus, ducking here and there when you see a teacher or person in charge, giggling at each other with wide eyes only to shush each other the next second whenever there was a narrow escape, whispering your address to him part-by-part and him having to support your sick body from time to time.
even if it was wrong, and something you promised to yourself that you would never do, skipping classes with taehyung, with his hand securely around your waist (that had goosebumps trailing on your skin), even just as an acquaintance to you, felt better than anything you’ve experienced in your life. hell, he didn’t even feel like an acquaintance anymore, whether it was because of your raging crush on him, or just taehyung being taehyung, you’re not sure.
the pure adrenaline in your body had you gasping for more, more of what?
you are not sure.
you two eventually make it to taehyung’s car in the parking lot. he gently pushes you into the passenger seat and slides into the driver’s seat, only to find you knocked out with your head on the window. and with one final look at your peaceful face, he drives away with a fond smile of his own. taehyung doesn’t know what he’s feeling either.
and the next time you open your eyes, you feel just as sick and it’s late afternoon and you’re in your bed, still in the clothes you wore to college, you sit up too quick, instantly whining at the throbbing in your head while looking around with confused eyes.
when did you even get home?
“oh good, you’re awake” taehyung emerges at your door, seemingly out of nowhere and you jump in your place, clutching at your heart as you look at him with a gulp.
“w-what are you doing here?” you ask as he stays at the entry to your room.
“you fell asleep in the car and i didn’t want to wake you so i found keys in your bag and brought you up here, i hope that’s alright” he looks nervous for the first time since you’ve met him as he waits for your reaction with pursed lips. he doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable with the situation, he just couldn’t wake you when you were both sick and looking as cute as you did in your lilac hoodie.
“did you..carry me? all the way up here?” you mumble worriedly.
“of course, how else would i bring you?”
wow, he says it so simply.
“you really didn’t have to do all of that, i’m sorry if it was a lot of trouble, i really appreciate it, thank you taehyung” you say with disbelief clear in your voice and with your jaw slightly slackened because you really can’t think of anything but a mental image of taehyung having to carry you because your lazy ass fell asleep in his car and didn’t get up. and you really want to bury yourself six feet under.
“can i come in?” he asks, polite as ever and you don’t even think before nodding, he slowly walks inside, sitting right by the edge of your bed, maintaining distance between you as if he didn’t put you on the bed himself.
he reaches forward and puts his hand against your forehead, and you feel your breath being taken away just like the first time and he hums while pulling it away.
“it’s better than before but sleep for the rest of today” he instructs you and gets up from the bed, you don’t want him to leave. something in you wants to make taehyung stay by your side but you don’t have anything that will make him stay so you just watch him walk himself out of your room.
“i got a few pills, they’re in your kitchen, you shouldn’t move around right now but take them once you get up, and don’t worry about it, i need my tutor to be healthy and well, don’t i?” he winks at the end of it as if to finally nail your heart to him only and then turns to leave with a loud goodbye and a wave of his hand.
you go to the kitchen after he leaves and just like he said, pills for headache and body aches are spread out on your tiny dinner table, along with packets of instant soup. you feel overwhelmed because even people who are close to you, have never done so much for you and taehyung did, taehyung did all this after just meeting you a few times.
and you’re left, head in hands, with so much to process that you don’t know where to begin.
-
taehyung never came late to your tutor sessions or waste too much time, sure he still fooled around, his favorite thing to do being constantly taking your glasses off you and playing with them whenever he gets too bored or snatching your books away and forcing you to talk about anything that was not related to your studies.
you still felt bashful the first day you met after the whole sick episode, but he didn’t even bring it up, just continued with everything like it didn’t even happen which you were grateful for, though a little disappointed, because that is the most anyone has ever done for you and you wanted to thank him properly even if he said that lunch at his favorite place would suffice for him. but you were also sure that you would end up accidentally confessing to him if you brought it up. so, you just never brought it up either.
you talked a lot, mostly about things that had nothing to do with subject but you enjoyed them, taehyung valued and respected your opinions, actually listened to you when you talked so you were comfortable to be not as quiet as you usually are, still shy but holding a conversation as much as you could and taehyung would pick up anything you left, starting a whole new conversation with whatever, you handed him.
it wasn’t hard for your crush on him to only escalate further, not when he looked as good as he did from a side angle, it was honestly unfair that he looked stunning with a simple shirt and trousers. he looked good in anything, and what he looked like during your studying sessions, was something you always daydreamed about.
like right now.
“are you even listening to me?” a hand waves in front of your face, and you jerk in your place, quickly sitting up straight.
maybe you shouldn’t daydream about him when he’s beside you.
“um of course, i was” you lie easily with a firm nod to make it further believable but taehyung is sadly too good at detecting honesty or lack thereof. so, when he continues to stare at you, a way of making you say it yourself, you can do nothing but oblige.
“alright, i didn’t listen to you, what were you talking about?” with your admittance, taehyung leans back in his chair with a smirk.
“what is it?” you urge him once again and he shrugs.
“you know, we started with art history, right?”
“yeah, we’ve almost covered everything, at least i think so” you tilt your head as you mumble those words, reaching for your planner where all the topics are written, and you start looking through them to see which ones you still have to cover.
then the planner is snatched from your hands, and you follow the planner with a whine, bending over your chair to reach it and it isn’t until you feel someone way too close to you that you pause to see your position. you are half leaned over his chair and one wrong move could end up with you on top of him, you immediately sit back in your chair, tightening your fingers on your cardigan and frantically pushing your glasses up.
taehyung, thankfully doesn’t look uncomfortable, maybe a little shocked with how wide his eyes were but that was it, he quickly recovers and gives an easy smile.
“i have a test tomorrow” why is he smiling about that? doesn’t he hate tests? you quirk an eyebrow as his smile only grows bigger.
“how do you think it will go?”
“about that, if i do well, don’t you think that, as my tutor, you owe me something, a reward of sorts?”
so, that is why he’s smiling so big.
normally you would refuse blatantly and move on, but you can never say no to taehyung and you want to at least hear him out before you turn him down.
“if you do well” you emphasize and he waves his hand like he isn’t worried about that, but you are worried about what he would ask of you.
“come to a party with me” his request is simple enough.
and you’ve been to parties, only to completely hate it unless you got drunk enough to forget it all the next morning. though it has been quite a while since you’ve been to one.
a party with taehyung? taehyung, who probably knew every single person in the room while you don’t know anyone at all?
“only if you get an A” is your predicament, taehyung has improved a lot but not enough to get an A which is why your predicament is perfect, you’re not saying no but you’re not saying yes either.
but taehyung looks confident, with a light shrug to your rule like it didn’t mean anything at all, it only scares you a little bit that maybe your rule will be useless at the end.
“i’ll let you know when i get the grade”
-
“i got an A!” comes taehyung’s cheerful voice through the phone and the first thing you feel is pride bloom through you because he must have worked so hard to get that A, you were sure it wasn’t easy at all for him and the second thing you feel is dread, because this means you have to go to the party now.
“you did great, taehyung” you sincerely reply and you hear his sigh of happiness which makes you smile too.
you’re happy that he’s happy.
“you know what this means right?” his words laced with cockiness that come from his first ever A.
“i’ll never leave you at the party, you can get as drunk as you want and i will be your ride” he says almost immediately after as if he knew that you were going to find some way to get out of this, and you internally groan because he’s made all the promises that could convince you.
and like mentioned before, you can never say no to taehyung.
“when is it?”
-
“you look great!” taehyung compliments you as soon as you get into his car and you feel yourself freeze at his good-natured comment, only being able to shyly nod at him.
but if you had to choose on who looks good here, it would definitely be taehyung.
he was wearing a fashionably torn t-shirt with a leather jacket and tight dark grey jeans which had you feeling even more flustered than usual, he was usually attractive but today, you were sure that he was planning to take someone home, it would be a shame if he didn’t. he hands you his pale blue hoodie to hold, saying he brought it if he ever needed a change and trusted you to keep it away from drinks that can stain it, gives you one last smile and drives away.
the party was roaring even from the outside, people littered around the lawn, holding their drinks and you could hear the music all booming under your feet, you nervously pulled on the hem of your black dress as you went closer to the addictive but disgusting smell of alcohol and sweaty bodies.
so many people.
taehyung gripped both your arms on the sides as you gripped his hoodie tight in your hold, and he walked behind you, silently guiding your steps and greeting people joyfully on the way, it was a shame that you could only hear his happy voice but not see him under these alluring lights, you were sure that he looked better than ever under these blue and purple lights that made everyone look untouchable and beautiful.
“who’s the girl, taehyung?” someone shouts at him and you keep your gaze steady, not even wanting to turn around to see who yelled it, you anxiously wait for taehyung’s answer.
“my tutor” he yells back with a grin and you assume that the person has gone when taehyung gets right back to pushing you two through the crowds, apparently not noticing how your shoulders immediately slouch at his answer and how you aren’t even walking anymore, just being pushed around by everyone.
and for the first time since you’ve met taehyung, you feel disappointed.
you know now that your growing crush on taehyung will only end in your heartbreak.
he could have said you were a friend, or even an acquaintance, he’s been in your apartment for fucks’ sake, you would have been okay with anything really but the way he described you just made you feel so…unimportant. like you held no significance in his life, just another person for him to forget as he goes to spread his arms around the rest of the waiting world.
and you can’t be mad at him because you know it’s true, you are just tutoring him, he’s only doing this because he has to and not because he wants to, and as soon as this obligation expires, so will your time with him.
“hey, you okay?” you feel him whisper against your ear, hands still tight around your arms and you’re suddenly too aware of how close you two are, it hurts, being this close to him and not being able to call him anyone special to you, hurts a lot more than you imagined.
so, you shake his grip off, if you aren’t important to him, you will make him nobody in your life as well. you have to.
“yeah, i’m fine, where are the drinks?” try as you might, your voice just didn’t carry the softness it always has and even if you tried to conceal your sour mood, it didn’t work because taehyung immediately raised his eyebrows but shows where the drinks are anyway. you walk away from him, not really bothered anymore that you didn’t know anyone here, you just wanted to do exactly what you planned for.
drink and forget.
because taehyung just handed you rejection on a silver platter.
and you can’t take it gracefully when he’s right beside you. so, you had to go away before you could remember all the things you liked about him that could keep you pining.
taehyung felt…weird? he didn’t understand why you suddenly stopped talking to him in that sweet tone that comes naturally to you, he also doesn’t understand why you’re walking away from him to fend for yourself in a party where you don’t know anyone, he doesn’t know if he has done something to upset you and he felt…guilty.
taehyung felt guilty for a reason he didn’t know.
and taehyung hated feeling guilty.
to shake his own weird feeling off, he disappears into the crowd, to find anything or anyone who can drown his guilt away.
after a few shots of straight vodka, you find that you are not getting drunk at all, it’s either your overwhelming emotions that keep you from completely losing it or just your high tolerance.
it sucks because no drink is stronger in this place, you want to go home, you want to go back to when you didn’t come to this party where taehyung called you nothing to him. while he didn’t say that exactly, he definitely implied it. just then, you see him approaching you with a girl on his arm, no surprise there and you almost rolled your eyes at how predictable he could be.
“we’re playing this game; thought you would like to join?” taehyung trails off.
how nice of him to include his charity case for the game, you bitterly think to yourself but get up to go with him anyway, you can’t leave until he decides to go so you might as well play some game instead of wasting more alcohol that does nothing for you. so, you hop out of your seat and walk to him, greeting the girl next to him, you can be bitter to him but not to this girl who’s done nothing, she smiles back and then you’re leaving the kitchen.
you don’t say anything as you walk behind him into a living room where people sit in a circle, it’s noisy, there’s a bottle in the middle and you hate that you know what’s going on here.
it looks like a recreation of your middle school birthday party.
taehyung sits down, patting the spot next to him, and you look around to see if there’s place anywhere else but with nowhere else, you sit down beside him and the girl who he has with earlier is not around you anymore. he still looks at you, confused as ever and once you get comfortable in your position, he takes his hoodie from your hands and covers your bare legs with it which has you looking away with a red face.
he was making it so hard to get over him.
by the time you look back at the circle, it starts slowing down and your jaw drops open when it falls on you and taehyung.
everyone starts cheering at the bottle claiming its very first victims, and you never feel more out of place with people you don’t even know cheering you on to kiss taehyung and as for taehyung, he has a huge smile on his face which has you squinting with confusion at him. he calmly takes the hoodie from your lap, lifting it and pausing when he sees your face.
“trust me?” he whispers to you; his voice is almost drowned out in the loud music and people around you but you still hear it.
you shouldn’t trust him, you don’t want to but you don’t have a choice in this room full of unfamiliar people, so you just give him a meek nod which no one else notices.
then he drops the hoodie over the top of your heads, your bodies moving closer on their own accord, his palm now resting on your bare thigh and you’re face to face with the man you can’t get over no matter what you do. the heavy hoodie resting on your heads forces them closer as well, you can feel his breath on your cheek and he smells addictive this close, like cologne and pure sin with candy on his breath.
will he kiss you?
taehyung doesn’t say anything, just looks at you like he’s trying to figure you out, like he needs to figure you out, for the first time, he doesn’t look as confident, he doesn’t look full of life, just looks at you with such vulnerability like he’ll give you his heart if you stay under for too long, and your nerves and body are too frozen to even dare to look back at him.
after a few seconds which really felt like eternity, he pulls the hoodie from on top of your heads, the cold rush of air pushing you two apart, baring you to the waiting people in the room who roar and cheer louder than ever when taehyung smirks at them, you know that he’s just doing it for show, he didn’t actually end up doing anything at all even if you wished hard that he would.
but then you feel eyes on you, speculating, judging, confused eyes all over you because who are you and why did kim taehyung pull you under a hoodie when he usually just kisses people in front of everyone? you hate the attention, you hate the amusement at your flushed state in them, and you can do nothing but revert your gaze to the floor.
“stop making her uncomfortable and spin the bottle already” an annoyed voice emerges from the crowd and you snap your head to look at where it came from, to see a girl who glares at the people staring at you, they quickly look away at her words, reverting their attention back to the game, and when she catches your gaze, you send her a grateful look and she smiles back at you.
and you feel better.
then you’re reminded of the man beside you, who covers your legs once again with his hoodie and you feel your face heating up all over as you replay the events that happened a few minutes ago.
that was so intimate.
you pull at the hoodie resting on your lap, trying not to think of how much more gorgeous taehyung looked up close, losing all interest in the game still being played around you, you also feel slightly insulted that taehyung would do all that but not kiss you, you know that he wouldn’t kiss you but it was embarrassing to be so close and not do anything at all.
did you repel him that much?
“let’s get you another drink” taehyung mutters, getting up from his sitting position and dusting his jeans off.
“game’s not over” you point to the still spinning bottle in the middle and he shrugs.
“i don’t wanna play it anymore” you don’t either, so you leave the circle as well, more people replacing your seats as quick as lightning. taehyung hands you a drink once you get into the kitchen and no words are exchanged between you two as you stand against the counter, sipping your drink and him on the other end of the counter, not even drinking anything, just looking into empty space.
the silence is suffocating, it’s new for the two of you, especially new to you because taehyung never seems to shut up but he isn’t uttering a word.
“is that kim taehyung?” comes a loud, dare you say annoying voice with a chuckle from the entry of the kitchen, taehyung quickly stands upright and gives a bright smile.
“hey man, it’s been a while” they give each other a side hug as the guy lazily smiles at taehyung.
“last i saw you, was at the studio with min yoongi and someone else” the guy starts to think and taehyung visibly tenses up at the mention of a studio and your interest is peaked, because taehyung has never mentioned a studio to you.
“it was probably namjoon hyung” taehyung answers the guy and he nods in recognition.
“you guys are still doing that music shit? i thought you would give up after a week, my man” your mouth drops open at the rude tone of the guy, he’s clearly patronizing taehyung who freezes in his spot, his usual smile immediately dropping from his face and you are the only one in the room who notices how tight his fists are by his arms.
it’s also the first time you’ve seen taehyung without his usual grin. you don’t like it; you don’t like this guy either.
taehyung isn’t a confrontational person nor is he someone who gets into a fight easily, for as long as you have known him, before and after tutoring him, one thing you know for sure is that taehyung avoids fights, not because he will lose but because he would much rather just enjoy his time instead of wasting it on people who don’t deserve it.
“i mean, come on, what do you guys even know about music to do it? just finish your degree like the rest of us and get a proper job, music won’t keep you alive in the real world” the guy says it like he’s doing taehyung a favor, like his advice would save taehyung’s life and taehyung just stands stiff, clearly upset.
“taehyung, can we leave?” you interrupt the conversation and both heads turn to look at you, you don’t know anything about taehyung and his music but you don’t want him to deal with this guy anymore either. taehyung immediately nods at you, looking relieved.
“now, who is she?” the guys lifts his eyebrow at you with a smirk, raking his eyes over you shamelessly.
“you don’t need to know, you fucking prick” you dead pan at him, even surprising yourself with your harsh tone and taehyung snorts at the guys annoyed face, walking to you and guiding you out of there with a hand on your lower back. you snapped because not only has this night been overwhelming, you also just can’t stand people as ridiculous as him, how dare he say anything about taehyung at all.
taehyung would be the biggest liar if he said that he didn’t find that hot, he knows how much you would prefer being away from people and situations like that and he almost expected you to just stand and watch but the second you talked back to the guy for him, taehyung has had this overwhelming sense of ego take over him because you wouldn’t do that for anyone but you did it for him.
and as he keeps looking at you, taehyung realizes there’s a lot that you do for him, that you don’t do for anyone else, you snuck out of a class for him, he knows that rules are something you stick to but you let them go for him, you went to lunch with a practical stranger for him, something you would never do with another classmate, you came to this party for him and if it weren’t for how nervous you looked under that hoodie, taehyung would have kissed you, there’s nothing else he’s wanted to do more.
thinking about all of this means only one thing to him, taehyung likes you, more than a friend ever will, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen you as just a friend, not when your head lulled back and forth and fell on his shoulders the day he carried you to your apartment, taehyung doesn’t worry about a lot but he was worried about how sick you were and when he contemplated kissing you every single time you met up to study, taehyung knows he’s been a goner for you.
taehyung likes you, he wants to be with you and not have boundaries, he wants to see you let loose fully, he wants you to kiss him whenever you want to and his hand around your waist tightens at his realization.
after becoming aware of the hand on you which carefully weaves you through the crowd, you quickly move away from his touch, walking through the crowds by yourself, and taehyung follows you with an evident frown on his face.
he just thought you two are alright but he’s proven wrong with the distance that gets further between you two and he can’t help the disappointment flooding his chest. and again, guilt, the guilt that has stayed with him since you left him hanging at the door, why the guilt though? he doesn’t know.
you get into his car with a sigh, already relieved that this night will be over soon and you can just ignore everything from tomorrow and taehyung doesn’t drive away, sits there with his hands on his lap and a grim expression. you look at him for a few minutes, you have a million questions about what that guy said, about whether it was true that taehyung does music but you bitterly remember your place in his life, a tutor, which is why you don’t end up asking anything.
“taehyung, we need to go” you remind him and he nods slowly, lifting his head to grip the steering wheel tightly and sighs once again, letting it go.
“do you have to go home?” he turns to you with anxiousness on his face that you don’t recognize, he almost looks desperate? lost even, if you had to describe.
“where else will we go?”
“can i take you somewhere?”
“it’s my apartment, i have to show you something, i’ll drop you as soon as we’re done there, i promise” and when it looks like you’re going to refuse, taehyung immediately adds this part and you are even more confused.
if you’re just someone tutoring him, why does he want you to come to his apartment?
“fine” you mutter and fall back on the seat, annoyed at yourself for not being able to say no to him even now and shut your eyes before you think too much about it.
-
“come in” taehyung moves out of the way and you walk into his apartment, it was just big enough for one person, and covered in beige and shades of autumnal colors that give it a warm feel.
“your home is pretty” the compliment leaves your lips before you can stop it and taehyung gives you a softer smile than the one he usually has.
“thank you”
upon further walking in, you see a messy living room with papers thrown around, a desk covered in similar papers and a computer with a music system sitting right in front of it.
bingo.
the obnoxious guy at the party definitely wasn’t lying about the music part.
when you turn around to see taehyung, he looks so much smaller than he normally does, he looks nervous, he’s fidgeting and playing with his fingers and it takes you completely off guard. you’ve never seen him like this.
“what did you want to show me?” you ask, not going any further into the apartment and standing with your arms crossed. he doesn’t utter a word as he walks over to you, pulls your folded arms apart and holds your hand which confuses you and fills you with warmth at the same time.
you can only stare at your intertwined hands as he pulls you forward.
what is happening?
you are only brought back to reality when he places you on the chair in front of the computer and you look back at him with a frown.
“it’s true, what the guy at the party said, i do make music and i didn’t want you to think that i don’t plan on telling you” he mutters from behind you with fiddling fingers and it feels satisfying that you are not the nervous one this time.
so, taehyung does do music and you are impressed, very impressed because you feel like it’s a very emotionally taxing process and takes a lot of bravery to actually spill your feelings into ink, you could never do it which is why it’s a hundred times more admirable to you.
“so, i wanted to play you one of my songs?” he says it in a question and you stay quiet, both grateful that he’s showing you his work and even more confused because again, he called you his tutor not even two hours ago, you don’t understand why he’s showing you all this.
“why are you showing me?” the question tumbles out of your mouth in a disappointed sigh.
“because i trust you” he answers simply, ignoring your widened eyes and looking through his computer, all while leaned over your shoulder, and no matter how many times this has happened, his body brushing against yours leaves you breathless.
he purses his lips as he presses play and you instinctively lean towards the computer as a soft song starts thrumming through the room.
“on my pillow can’t get me tired sharing my fragile truth that i still hope the door is open
‘cause the window opened one time with you and me now my forever’s falling down wondering if you’d want me now?
how could i know? one day i’d wake up feeling more but I had already reached the shore guess we were ships in the night night, night
we were ships in the night night, night.”
your mouth stays agape as you listen to taehyung’s voice, which is steady and deep and pushes all the way to your heart, and the song just feels so warm, like the beautiful end to a bright summer, there’s sadness but desperation more clearly written in the lyrics and you can’t believe that you’re sitting in front of the man who’s singing it.
“did you write this?” you ask quietly as the song continues to play and you see a nod from the corner of your eye and your admiration for taehyung grows ten-fold, as you listen to his voice in complete awe, if his voice is deep usually, it’s a lot deeper and more soulful when he’s singing. and whoever he’s singing this song for, you are jealous of them, you don’t know them but you’re jealous of them.
“do you like it?” he pauses the player before another song starts and how do you tell him that you might just be in love with him and everything about him?
“it was beautiful” you compliment, albeit a little bitter that it isn’t about you and taehyung looks a mixture of pleased and relieved at your words.
“who is it for?” you can’t help but ask him as you stay seated.
“no one, it’s just a story i’ve had on my mind” you sense only honesty in his words and it further impresses you that he can weave a story and put life and love into it.
“of two people in love?”
“of two people falling in love.” he corrects you and it dawns on you that a story of two people already in love would be a lot different than two people discovering and falling slowly but surely.
“did you have fun making the story?” now that you know about his music, you are only curious to know more about it and taehyung is more than happy to indulge you.
“it’s…different, making a story of two people, no one that you know, but giving them emotions, giving their emotions a journey and putting it into words in a proper way, it’s hard but i enjoy nothing else more.” you only listen to how taehyung describes songwriting because you still are in awe at how much passion he holds when he’s talking about music.
one out of many things that you loved about taehyung was that you could never just expect something to happen with him, he really played his own drum and did whatever he wanted to do, consequences are an afterthought to him, and it’s refreshing, it’s also so rare which is why you truly think he’s one of the most precious kind of people. like who would have known that the party would end this way?
“that’s very cool of you” you smile at him and he grins back, moving away from you to take his stuffy jacket off and you already miss being encompassed in his warmth. you get up from your seat, thinking that you will have to leave soon now that you have heard the song.
“should we go now?” you ask him, not actually wanting to leave but knowing you can’t stay either.
“there’s one thing left to do” he says with pursed lips, coming back to where you’re stood and you frown at him.
“what is it?” you question as he starts walking to you with determination in every step, taehyung doesn’t want to lose his courage before he reaches you.
“what?” you ask again, a little breathlessly this time, your breath getting uneven and the butterflies singing in every end of your nerves when he stands right in front of you, looking down on you while biting his lip slightly.
and his hand comes up to take your glasses off, you feel completely bare as he carelessly throws them to the side and then curls his fingers around your cheek. while smiling, he doesn’t give you an answer, just closes the distance between you two with a single, large step and pulls you to him with his hand firm on your waist.
“i hope you don’t mind” is his cheeky comment as he caresses your cheek once before he does what he couldn’t do at the party.
everything falls into place perfectly to you; your hands grip his thin t-shirt to stabilize yourself and his hands grab onto your skin like he will go insane if he doesn’t feel you. you are hot all over, your body shaking a little with the overflowing love and affection you throw into each pull of his lips. you gasp for breath once he lets you go a little, gazing into your eyes and you return a dazed look of your own, but you aren’t given a break when he pulls you back in again, chasing after you like you will run away if he lets you go for too long.
but taehyung doesn’t have to worry, you aren’t going anywhere.
and frankly, you don’t mind this at all.
-
the rest of the night is just taehyung playing you more songs and a lot of kissing, neither of you confessing but kissing each other like your life depended on it and if taehyung doesn’t like you the way you do, you don’t think you will ever be able to move on from his addicting scent and touch.
you toss and turn on taehyung’s bed, you ended up staying after he insisted in between kisses and you were too weak and lost in the moment to refuse, he ended up sleeping on the couch and that gave you plenty of time to think about last night. you got up way too early and after freshening up, you just couldn’t face him, you didn’t know how to so you stayed in his room.
what did it even mean to him?
was it just one of those kisses you blame on too much alcohol?
you groan and stuff your face into a pillow as you resist the urge to scream, if you were confused before, you simply don’t have a clue anymore, the line between friendship and relationship between you and him was so blurred, you don’t even know if it existed anymore.
and if he was going to kiss you, why make you feel so insignificant at the beginning?
“you really shouldn’t think so much this early into the day” you jump when you hear taehyung’s amused voice at the door, he looks just as gorgeous as always even in the morning.
“i blame you for it” you retort as you sit up, he falls on his bed while stretching, letting out a loud yawn and you smile at him, you like waking up to him.
“i told you i will take the couch” you tell him with slight guilt as he continues to stretch his sore body.
“that’s fine, next time we’ll just sleep together” he looks up at you with a smirk and you turn stark red at the suggestive tone, reaching for the pillow behind you and throwing it on his face, letting out a loud laugh when he lets out a yelp of pain.
“speaking of that” you purse your lips as he stops stretching and looks at you with his usual bright smile which flutters your heart just like the first time.
“what are we?” you ask him, gesturing between you two, the question lays heavily in the a
you don’t know how it happens in every single party, but you always end up next to yoongi, grumbling and complaining but still with him beside you and even after several incidents of pouring drinks on each other and pretending it was a mistake, or just plain insulting each other right to your faces, or ruining dates for the other by fake flirting, you always end up next to him.
you never really understood your hatred for min yoongi, but it’s always been there, whenever you see him, you always either leave the room to not be around him at all or you start bickering with him until the day ends, it’s usually always the latter, he knows just how to rile you up, he knows just what to say to piss you right off, and you always give in to his stupid arguments.
and apparently, even right now, with all your friends dancing and enjoying themselves, you stand in the corner while idly mixing your drink slowly, and it takes everything in you to not roll your eyes when yoongi catches your eye across the room and starts his making his way over to you.
“what are you doing here, doll?” he asks, hands in pockets, his ever-present smirk settled nicely on his face, the nickname that falls from his mouth makes you roll your eyes, he’s been calling you that forever, no matter how many times you’ve complained and hit him for it.
you notice his tattoos peeking from the collar of his leather jacket which mirrors the one on your body. it is hard to not do a full head to toe scan when yoongi manages to look this good even as he’s half drunk.
you hate him but you’re not blind, you know that he is attractive and he knows it too, he knows it all too well.
“none of your goddamn business, min yoongi, get back to your friends.” your bitter reply is no surprise to him and that becomes evident with how he laughs at you and pulls himself up on the table you were resting on, looking down at you with pure amusement dancing in his eyes.
“they’re shit drunk, and i don’t want to deal with anyone vomiting all over me” he shrugs as he takes another swig and you turn to look at his friends who were falling over each other and laughing for no reason at all.
somewhere in you, you know that he’s lying, he wouldn’t mind if his friends vomit over him, he wouldn’t care even when he’s going to be the one who will drive them home after this and make sure that they’re safe but yoongi doesn’t need to know that you know about him.
“such a good friend” you dryly muse and walk away from him, only for him to jump off the table and follow you, you stop in your steps and he does too, making you grit your teeth and look at him with an evident glare in your eyes.
“what do you think you’re doing?”
“none of your goddamn business, doll.”
yeah, you hate him. you take back every nice thought you’ve ever had about him.
he gives you an innocent smile and it takes everything in you to not strangle him. you swiftly turn the other way and speed walk till you’re outside the house, taking a deep breathe now that you’re free from the obnoxious people and music. just when you stretch your legs out to settle there for a bit, you see someone barging their way out, almost hitting your arm, you turn to curse them out just to see jimin come out from the same way, following the previous person.
you only know jimin because he works in namjoon’s bakery, and he’s in one of your classes, you’re friendly enough to greet each other but that’s it, so when you see him fighting with the person who barged out first, and the fight showing no signs of calming down, you roll your eyes at how stupid they sound, why can’t they just kiss already? you can literally feel the sexual tension in the air and they seem to be in absolute denial about it, but deciding that it was best to leave them alone, you unwillingly tip toe your way back into the house.
the party is still raging and loud and you can’t really distinguish who is who anymore, so you just push your way through the crowd, murmuring excuse me’s and curses to people who push you, only to find yourself in the living room where all your friends are gathered. they immediately perk up at your entrance, drunk smiles gleaming even in the darkness and you hate to admit that you sense some mischief in the air.
“i was looking for you, come here, sit down” jennie smiles as soon as she sees you and pats the seat next to her, you hesitantly sit and warily eye the bottle in the middle of the circle you’re sat at.
“what’s going on here?”
“we’re playing spin the bottle because we literally have nothing left to do” jisoo complains from opposite to you and you throw your head back with a groan, at the corner of your eye, you see yoongi walk in with his own friends and you don’t even want to look up again.
“how bored are you guys?” you complain but get comfortable in your seat anyway, it’s not like you were any less bored than they were.
“just say you’re too much of a wimp to play and leave already.” yoongi’s voice is crystal clear even with the loud music and everyone starts ooh’ing at his sentence, all of them were already used to your endless bickering and they always act like they know something you both don’t, you never cared enough to ask them anyway. you rolled your eyes before setting them on him with a bored expression.
“you’re still standing min yoongi, so who’s the real wimp here?” and now, everyone’s ooh’ing at you, he looks up at you with the same smirk that always annoys you and cocks an eyebrow before sitting directly in front of you, then pins you with only challenge clear in his eyes.
“okay, so the rules are pretty simple.” you look away from him and focus on listening to chaeyoung as she explains what exactly are the set rules.
“so when we spin the bottle, the people at the ends of the bottle either kiss each other or one of them gets to give a dare to the other, and the other cannot refuse” jisoo smiles at you as she plays with the bottle in her hand and you know what’s going on in her little head, she’s always been convinced that you have a crush on yoongi but you were close to vomiting on her when she told you that, she hasn’t backed down though and if you know her, she’s probably thinking this is some magical way to get you to kiss yoongi but you would jump into a well before that happens.
“the only person i want to kiss in this room is you” yoongi wears a wide, confident grin as he points to the random girl he’s been talking up since the beginning of the party and you watch with raised eyebrows as she blushes and buries her face into his shoulder.
poor girl, you wince to yourself.
and yoongi’s drinking up the affection, cooing at her and wrapping his arm around her shoulder, not letting her go even as the bottle spins speedily and lands on taehyung and some girl you’ve seen around the campus, you have never really looked at her but she does seem a little out of place in the party, and you make a note to yourself to talk to her later, you hate that feeling of being isolated and you wouldn’t want her to feel that way.
everyone watches them with excited and curious eyes, taehyung has a huge smile on his face as he wiggles his eyebrows at the girl who looks like she wants to run away, but then taehyung reaches over and whispers something into her ear and everyone erupts into cheers when he reaches for his hoodie on the floor and drops it on their heads, the hoodie comes off to reveal one flushed face and taehyung who is positively beaming. though the kiss is over, at least you assume it is over, everyone’s gaze lingers on the quiet girl who all but is biting on her lip and averting her gaze to the floor.
“stop making her uncomfortable and spin the bottle already” you say plainly as you leaned back on your hands, you could tell she wanted anything but attention, she just had a stiff posture and this was clearly new for her, so you decided to help her out. she flashed you a quick grateful look and you gently smile at her.
and the bottle kept spinning, most opted for the kisses, and each time someone would kiss, the entire room would be chaos, with people whooping and waving their hands, you bury your head into your hands each time that happens because you can’t believe most of these people are well in their 20’s and are still this excited over seeing their peers kiss but you enjoy the energy in the air, it’s familiar and being around your friends is something you’re always grateful for.
“wait wait yoongi didn’t spin the bottle” lisa points out along with chaeyoung and they both have happy smirks on their faces as everyone nods in agreement, soon cheering him on to spin it already and yoongi surrenders with raised hands.
the bottle spins and you hold your breath because you would do anything to not be at the other end of it.
you exhale in relief when it lands on who yoongi wanted it to land on, the girl who’s been around him all night, he just looks at her with a smile and she leans forward with sparkling eyes, and you look away just when the sound of smacking lips fills the air, immediately everyone starts shouting and that’s when you understand that maybe the kiss wasn’t innocent at all, you almost do a double take when you hear a silent moan in midst of all the chaos, looking back when the shouts die down to see the girls with pink cheeks and yoongi who had a proud smile on his face.
and you don’t know why, but at that moment, your annoyance for him touches the roof.
maybe because he was oozing confidence always?
maybe because it sounded like he was an incredible kisser?
maybe because he’s got someone blushing right next to him with just a kiss?
you don’t know and frankly you also don’t understand why you stand up from the circle right then, everyone’s eyes lands on you and you shift on your feet, you hate attention, and you particularly hate yoongi who immediately looks at you standing.
“i just need a refill, i will be back, you guys play” you gesture towards the kitchen and leave the living room with fast steps, you only let out a breath of relief once you’re in the kinda empty kitchen, it still has like 10 people but not one of them gives a fuck about you, which is exactly what you need.
you spot the tequila bottles but they are empty, making you groan out loud in frustration and you want to throw a chair into the window, because how the fuck do these people drink so fast? last time you were here, there were 10 huge, full bottles and they’re just gone now.
“fucking great” you mumble and squeeze your eyes shut as you lean back on the counter.
you don’t even want to go back to the circle and see yoongi’s face or the girl that he’s with who seems to blush about everything like who’s going to tell her that yoongi will probably drop her in a week?
you stomp your way back to the living room, and sit down with a huff, not looking at anyone, just letting the game continue around you and zoning out until someone asks you something.
your eyes don’t leave the bottle in the middle of the circle, staring as it spins and claims its victims, and you only snap out of your thoughts when jennie nudges you, you are a little startled when she pushes the bottle into your hand with a small smile.
“it’s your turn, spin it” she gently instructs, and you almost just want to cuddle her and go to sleep because she’s always been so nice to you and maybe it’s because you’re half-drunk and you’re mildly irritated by everything, but you feel so grateful to her soft voice.
but her words also make you pause, it’s your turn after god knows how many turns and you want to skip it, there’s no one in this room that you want to kiss.
“see, i told you, she’s a wimp” you glare up at yoongi as he stares you down, and with a grumble, you snatch the bottle from jennie’s hands and give it one rough spin. you silently pray that it lands on anyone but yoongi.
your heart almost pauses when it seems to slow down near yoongi, but then it tilts right at the last second, you feel lighter as you look up to see jisoo at the other end of the bottle, who has a cheeky smile on her face, you lean back with your won smile because you could just kiss her, it’s no big deal.
“so, kiss?” you raise your eyebrows at her and she narrows her eyes at you playfully, looking you up and down and you giggle at her fake horny expression.
“as much as i love kissing, i have a dare for you.” you eye her cautiously as she says this, why isn’t she just opting for the kiss?
“i’m not stripping down naked if that’s what you’re going to say” you deadpan, to lighten the tension in the room and everyone laughs, taking swigs of their drinks and someone yells party pooper.
“why can’t we just kiss and get it over with?” you whined when she stayed silent and jisoo shook her head happily as everyone’s ears and eyes focused on what would leave jisoo’s mouth, she smirks a little at their enthusiasm and your slightly scared expression.
“the dare is” she pauses for dramatics and you throw the bottle cap at her making her jump and giggle.
“okay okay, the dare is, you have to get a tattoo in yoongi’s shop by yoongi, he gets to choose which one too.”
she did not.
“i’m sorry, did i hear you right?” you leaned forward with a cocked eyebrow because jisoo wouldn’t do this to you.
right?
“i’ll go easy with the needle on you, doll” yoongi chuckles from his spot.
“shut the fuck up, min yoongi” you snarl at him and fix your gaze on jisoo again as she shrugs with a delighted smile on her face.
“hey, i could just kick you out from my store, you know that right?” you ignore his words with a roll of your tongue against your cheek and run a hand through your hair, this is far from how you wanted your night to go.
“are you going to back off from a dare, y/n?” chaeyoung raises her eyebrows at you and it feels like thye’ve definitely planned this shit from the start but the mocking in her tone doesn’t allow you to say no.
“fucking hell, i’ll do it.” you give in because again, you are never one to back off from a challenge. even if you’re really scared of needles, you can do this.
“who said i’m doing it for you?” he questions with narrowed eyes and everyone in the room breaks into scattered giggles.
“i’ll give you a month y/n, convince him and get it done.” jisoo says, triumph clear in her face and tone as she calmly hands the bottle to its next victim.
again, this isn’t how you wanted your night to go.
-
convincing yoongi, as it turns out, was the hardest thing you have ever tried to do, and you take history in college.
not only is he insanely stubborn, but it also feels like he seriously gets off from pissing you off every single time, because the minute you start to get somewhere with convincing him, he would say something stupid, you would curse him out and you’re back to square one with your mission.
it’s been a week since the party and you’ve got no progress on him.
“okay, i can do this, it’s just stupid yoongi” you encourage yourself lightly by tapping your shoulders in butterfly position, because there’s nothing else that calms you down from the inevitability of having to talk to him.
you’re not sure why you are doing so much for a dare, but it feels like this is the chance to prove to your friends that the only feelings you have for yoongi is hatred, you cannot have them thinking you like him when even the thought of him annoys you to the core.
but you’re still here, with a bag of tempura shrimp and fried rice because apparently that’s his favorite food, and as the old saying goes, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
now, if you were reached his heart, you would probably rip it out but you’re doing what you can to get the dare over with. you ring the bell and stand back, but nothing prepares you for the sight in front of you.
a girl in just a t-shirt, most probably yoongi’s, who’s definitely not his girlfriend.
didn’t they say the girl at the party became his girlfriend afterwards?
well, at least the girl looks just as surprised as you do, and she even starts getting teary eyed and that’s when you realized what this looks like, you brought him food, pretty early in the morning, you’re dressed up well because you just like to look good, and she could be assuming that she just slept with a taken man.
“doll, is that you?” yoongi’s voice comes from behind her and you grit your teeth in annoyance at his presence.
wait, where the fuck is his shirt?
you immediately avert your gaze from his bare skin and look at the girl in front of you who’s trembling, why the fuck did he call you doll with her right beside him?
“look, i know what this looks like but i’m not his girlfriend, i honestly hate him the most out of everyone i know, so you two are still fine, and gosh just wipe those tears please, i hate making people cry” you mumble the last part as the girl sniffles and nod while wiping the tears off her cheek, yoongi coos behind her and gives her a small kiss to the top of her head which makes her grin again.
he has a girlfriend, what is he doing?
you try so hard to hide the deep scowl on your face as you watch the sickeningly sweet exchange in front of you and tap your feet impatiently as you wait for them to finish.
“come in” yoongi says simply and disappears down the hallway with the girl, and you step in sheepishly, you look around the apartment and it’s surprisingly cleaner than you thought it would be, not knowing what to do with both of them gone, you enter the kitchen and plop down on a stool.
“i’ll call you later okay” you hear yoongi whisper and you slam your head on the table in front of you because that is a very sad attempt at a whisper, his whisper is loud as fuck, and it travels all the way to you, and you’re not a liar, his voice sounds hot, it’s husky, low and if someone whispers to you like that, you know that you will melt into a puddle.
you also hear the loud smack of a kiss and it takes everything in you to keep your ass planted on the stool and not run away from here.
the girl appears near the doorway of the kitchen and gives you a bright and happy wave, you wave back at her because as much as her tears surprised you, she still seemed friendly.
“so, what’s in that bag?” yoongi walks into the kitchen, thankfully with a shirt on, and you place the bag on the counter, not saying anything and letting him look through by himself.
“tempura shrimp and fried rice, are you trying to get me to ask you out?” yoongi chuckled as he pulled out the boxes and you frown at his statement.
“don’t flatter yourself” you mumble and pick your phone up to scroll as he sits down to eat, you notice him place a plate in front of you and look up in confusion.
“go on, serve yourself, i’m not doing that for you.” he gestures to the boxes with a wave of his hand.
“this is for you, more precisely for the tattoo.”
“i know doll, just eat the food.” if you aren’t wrong, you can hear some disappointment in his voice and he doesn’t even look at you as he says that, so you just shrug and take a box to fill half your plate with the food and continue to glance at him weirdly from time to time.
this feels strangely domestic, there is nothing but silence as you two eat but for once, you don’t want to strangle him to death, he doesn’t say shit to piss you off either, and the silence is comfortable, you thought it would be awkward to be in his apartment but you don’t feel that way at all.
“i’m still not doing your tattoo” yoongi says and the door shuts in your face as you stand outside his apartment with mouth agape and slumped shoulders.
then why was he being all nice just 10 minutes ago?
you kick the door with your foot and huff out in frustration because you really cannot think of anything else that could convince him.
what are you going to do now?
what could you possibly do now?
wait a minute.
his girlfriend.
“jisoo, are you sure that the girl from the party is still his girlfriend?” you almost yell into the phone to try and make your voice heard even with the loud traffic beside you and jisoo winces from the sound.
“yes, i’m sure, she was bragging about it in class today” you can hear how annoyed jisoo sounds though the phone and bingo!
you know just how to get yoongi to do your tattoo.
-
you get drowned in your own assignments the following week and don’t bother to look for yoongi, and honestly, you forget about the dare until your dear friends remind you at lunch when you were just trying to peacefully eat your food.
and you don’t even see yoongi around the campus anymore, he doesn’t even show up to the one class you have in common, but his attendance is obviously taken care of because of his friends who work in student council, you’re not going to lie, you are jealous of that, you would kill to miss some classes and still have your attendance intact.
“hey seokjin, wait up!” you spot yoongi’s friend down the hallway and you don’t really care that you literally look like a homeless person with your hoodie and loose shorts, you didn’t run all the way across campus to care about how you look, you need to know where the fuck min yoongi is so you can blackmail him and just finish the dare.
“hello y/n” he faintly smiles while sipping his coffee, how does he still look good when he’s tired though? if it weren’t for the fact that he was taken, you would definitely try to get with him but your chance is over. you feel a little self-conscious with your less than appropriate outfit and his polished look, but that shouldn’t be your concern right now.
“where is yoongi? he hasn’t been coming to classes.”
“why do you want to know? don’t you hate him?” he narrows his eyes at you and you slump a little, how many people knew of the fact that you hate each other? it’s not like you can blame them, you both fight in full parties, word is bound to travel.
“i do, i just have something to ask him.”
“is it really important?” he fixes you with a more serious look and you almost feel nervous before clearing your throat and nodding fiercely.
“yes, it is.”
“he’s been hanging out at our friend’s music studio for a while now, you can find him there, i’ll text you the address” and with that, jin blends into the crowd of people around you while you stay frozen.
what does yoongi do in a music studio? you wonder silently with your head tilted as you walk to your next class.
maybe you don’t know him as well as you thought you did.
-
the music studio wasn’t too far away your campus, and you could walk there even with your heavy backpack, you huff once you reach the run-down building, staring at it with curiosity filled in your eyes.
you definitely didn’t know anything about yoongi and music, sure you knew that he was a phenomenal piano player and also that he was very shy about it, you’ve only ever seen him play once and it was only because he was pretty drunk then.
you look around to try and find the room that jin told you about, brushing past several strange looking men but they are the least of your worries, you have dealt with idiots all the time at the bar and in parties, you will beat someone up if they mess with you.
“doll, what the fuck are you doing here?” you hear his irritated voice and silently heave out in relief because you immediately feel safer than you did just a minute ago.
“i should be asking you that.” you look at him with raised eyebrows and watch as he runs a hand across his face exasperatedly, only to march over to you, grabbing your wrist and dragging you with him.
if it were any other man dragging you around like this, you would break their wrist but this was yoongi, you trust yoongi, and as much as you hate him, you know yoongi would never hurt you.
he pushes the two of you into a room and closes the door behind him, you immediately snatch your wrist from his grip and rub at the spot he gripped too hard.
“okay, you didn’t have to do that.” you mumble while massaging your sore wrist.
“what are you doing here?” he doesn’t hesitate to jump right into it.
and you want to bring up his girlfriend but he looks pretty annoyed, you’re not sure if this is the time to push his buttons even more.
“i just, i was around but the real question is, what are you doing in a music studio?” you throw the question back to him and quickly scan the room you’re in right now, there’s a sound system, a keyboard, some speakers lying around and other equipment you know nothing about.
“i don’t have to tell you that” he deadpans and you retaliate a little, your posture faltering at his firm tone because while yoongi has always been rude to you, there’s a certain coldness to his voice right now that you just don’t recognize.
“you’re right, you don’t.” he really doesn’t. and now, everything you’ve done looks stupid to you, like taking food to his home and meeting some random girl, chasing seokjin on campus even when you don’t have any familiarity with him just to find about yoongi and even refusing to back down from a dare that you could just deny.
you don’t think you’re doing this for the dare anymore.
yoongi sighs when he sees your rigid posture and head hung low because damn it, he feels bad for being mean to you and he never feels bad about being mean to you, being mean to you just comes naturally to him but you just look so small right now, the air of pride and arrogance that you usually carry isn’t around you anymore and yoongi doesn’t know what to do.
“how did you find out?” he asks finally, taking a seat near the equipment and you don’t want to tattle on jin but you have no choice.
“just asked around.” you still tried to cover up jin’s name and yoongi raises his eyebrows at you like he doesn’t believe you.
“fine, seokjin told me” you squeeze out and you just hope that jin isn’t the type to hold grudges.
“you really went all the way to jin to ask about me?” jin is across campus from you, which explains why you don’t know him all that well but you did find out where jin is, just to ask him about yoongi.
but yoongi doesn’t need to know about that.
“don’t think too much about it, i had a class on that way.” you stubbornly lie through your teeth.
“no, you don’t” yoongi spins around in his chair to gather some notes in front of him.
“what?”
“you don’t have a class that way y/n, we both know that.” how the fuck does he know that?
“why didn’t you just ask me? or come to my apartment? you’ve already been there and i truly don’t understand why you went all the way to jin to ask about me.” yoongi’s words are softer, a lot less cold than before, and a lot more like the yoongi you know. which causes the return of your unfaltering confidence.
“i don’t know your number, and i didn’t want to intrude on you in your apartment again.” you answer honestly.
“but you think it’s okay to intrude on me in my studio?” the mocking in his tone doesn’t go past you and for a second, you don’t know what to say but if you’re talented in anything, it has to be the fact that you’re insanely good at changing subjects.
“speaking of the studio, what are you even doing in this studio? don’t you have a tattoo shop to take care of?” you huff and sit down on a nearby stool. you know that you’ve done a wonderful job at changing the topic because yoongi stills in his seat, not a sign of movement from him.
“or you know, just don’t tell me i guess” you add with a petty tone which has him sighing once again and turning in his seat.
“you’re really pushing the limit here, doll.” it sounds like he’s warning you but you have never been one to give a shit about his warnings.
besides, you always thought you knew yoongi, like really know him and as it turns out, you know nothing at all which has you craving to know everything.
“haven’t i always done that?” you flutter your eyelashes at him dramatically which draws a small smile on his face, it’s a rare smile, you’ve only ever seen him smile like that with his friends or when he’s flustered.
interesting.
“fine, i will tell you” you immediately jump in your place, leaning forward to listen with the utmost attention, eyes wide open and lips pursed because you can’t believe mysterious man of the campus (he gave that title to himself last year) is finally opening up to you.
“you can’t tell anyone else, you have to promise me that” the seriousness in his voice tells you he’s definitely not joking around anymore and you aren’t going to do that either, so you sit up straight and nod obediently.
“my tattoo shop, to put in one way, was a rushed decision doll, i don’t know why i thought it would be a good idea but i thought as long as it brought in money for me, i don’t have to worry about anything else but i was wrong. i was so wrong.” admitting his mistake to you, his enemy basically, takes a lot of courage and you can’t help but feel a little touched that he shared it with you. and that he’s willing to share more.
“the income was great, but it isn’t where my heart is at, you know? even the course in college right now, i don’t feel anything towards it but music, ah music makes me feel everything i’ve ever wanted to feel.” yoongi doesn’t know why he feels so comfortable telling you all this when all your previous conversations have been catty comments to each other but when he looks at you listening to him sincerely, he feels like he can tell you anything.
“you probably know that i play the piano?” you nod enthusiastically, finally it was something you knew about him.
“yeah i do, you’re good even when you’re drunk.” you beam at him and he laughs at the stupid grin on your face.
he feels like he’s the teacher here and you’re the teacher’s pet.
but he knows if he says that out loud, you will probably kick him in the leg. and yoongi hates bruises so he shoves that happy thought to the back of his head, he will laugh about it to himself later.
“i’ve been writing songs forever now doll, and i’m finally getting somewhere with it, i’m going to hand over the tattoo shop to my sister and jungkook who are more passionate about it than i will ever be.”
he looks regretful almost, like he started something he couldn’t finish but you see yoongi in a new light now, writing songs, producing music, it isn’t child’s play, you know that a lot goes into putting your emotions into words and you admire yoongi for how honest he was with you even if he didn’t have to be.
“and focus on music full-time?” you ask gently and he nods.
“that is the plan, yes.”
so, this could be why he shut the door on your face even after the tempura prawns and fried rice, he’s going to stop working at the shop soon.
“isn’t jungkook that guy who is friends with jimin?” you distinctly remember jungkook’s name from somewhere but you can’t remember where you’ve seen him.
“yeah, they work at namjoon’s bakery together.” yoongi provides you your answer easily and you snap your fingers, you saw jungkook when you went to get a muffin from namjoon, he told you he would give you a discount and you couldn’t say no to that.
“that’s where i saw him, i remember now.”
yoongi stays silent, drumming his fingers against his leg and thinking by himself, he looked insanely attractive even with that stressed look on his face, he’s even wearing torn jeans today for heavens’ sake and you feel a little hot, you pick at your collar to try and cool your warming body down.
you can’t let him know the effect he has on you.
“you don’t have to worry about me telling anyone, i won’t. your secret’s safe with me” you smile at him and he gives you a grateful look before rubbing his palms on his legs, he doesn’t know what to say anymore and he feels weird just leaving himself completely vulnerable to you but yoongi trusts you, he might hate you but he still trusts you to not be that cruel.
“so, what did you come here for?” he asks, leaning back on his chair and you freeze.
how are you going to tell him that you came all the way here just to blackmail him after he’s told you his passion-filled story?
“it’s nothing important, don’t even worry about it” you wave your hand dismissively with a nervous chuckle leaving your lips and like always, yoongi doesn’t believe you.
“it must have been pretty important if you ran to jin to ask him where i am” he points out and you hate that he’s right.
“it is not important at all.” you lamely respond and yoongi cocks his eyebrow before leaning over and grabbing your stool and pulling him towards you, so that you’re face-to-face with each other.
your heart literally stops beating when his eyes meet yours, his are filled with steely determination and you’re sure that your eyes have wimp written all over them, just what yoongi always called you and it doesn’t help that you can’t think with his breath fanning over your face in hot flashes.
“i-i told you, it’s not important” you whine lightly and yoongi has an easy grin on his face because of your stutter.
“just say it, doll.” the command in his tone is really something you can’t ignore, because not only does it make you shiver, but it also puts you on autopilot to do what he asks.
“i know that the girl that you were with, in your apartment the other day, isn’t your girlfriend” you breath out and your heart returns to its pace when yoongi lets your stool go with a frown.
“girlfriend?”
“your girlfriend is the one from the party so i’m saying that i know you’re cheating on her with that other girl.” you don’t know why you keep talking but you do, you wish you would shut up already because yoongi finally isn’t that much of a mystery anymore and blackmailing him will just put his walls up again, but you don’t shut up.
“what are you trying to do, y/n?” with the lack of his usual nickname, the sentence seems colder, just like the tone he used when you first walked in.
and that’s when you know that any and all progress you’ve made with him is gone in the dust, you think might as well just destroy it all while you’re at it.
“i will keep my mouth shut near your girlfriend if you just finish my tattoo” you have never felt more stupid in your life, because you’re doing all this while you’re fully conscious, at least when you’re drunk, you have an excuse.
“so, you would tell on me if i didn’t do that tattoo for you?” you feel even more like an idiot when he puts it that way but you remind yourself pathetically that you hate him, and you don’t care what he thinks of you, so you nod a simple yes.
“wow doll, you play a nice game, huh?” he chuckles darkly as he throws his head back and you know that while his words might be funny, his tone and expression are anything but.
you shouldn’t feel guilty about this but you do, there’s this sinking feeling in your chest that whatever you’re doing right now, is not worth it.
just when you open your mouth to take back the words you’ve said and apologize and reassure him that you see him with more respect now, that his story and secret will forever be safe with you, that you admire his passion, you don’t get the chance to when yoongi shuts you up with his.
“fine, i’ll do your stupid tattoo, now get out of my studio.” your heart sinks at his blunt words and he says them while not looking at you at all, you know that you deserve it though which is why you shamefully nod and turns towards the door, leaving him alone in his studio again.
-
the next few days are a blur, and you’re back at some stupid party.
you needed to forget.
but as much as you tried to push yoongi away from your thoughts, there’s this nagging feeling that claws at you, you don’t understand why you feel as guilty as you do, but it doesn’t go away, it increased each time he saw you in campus and turned his head away like you were nothing to him.
and you hate that you’re nothing to him, you were at least an enemy before but now, he disregards you so easily.
why do you want to be something to him?
you aren’t stupid enough to bring up the tattoo though, you just figured you would give him the chance to tell you or just not get it at all, you are not going to run your mouth again.
“oh, jin’s here, did you hear about his girlfriend? i heard she’s trouble” you hear someone mumble next to you, and you immediately look up to see yoongi with jin and some other friends you don’t recognize, he doesn’t see you though and you want to hide away, you don’t want to see him just yet.
you duck your head low, clutching your red solo cup in your hand and moving away from his line of sight, the only place you know that is safe from everyone in this party is the balcony upstairs so you inform your friends that you’re going to get some air and leave.
as soon as you open the door, you welcome the fresh air that greets you, the night is especially cold and windy but you love it, you just tug your leather jacket closer and lean your body on the railing as you think back on everything that’s been happening.
why did you open your mouth in the studio?
why did you go to the studio at all?
why are you so desperate to prove your friends wrong?
maybe your friends were right? that can’t be though, you don’t like yoongi that way. or at least, you don’t know if you do.
you bite your lip once you feel tears of frustration pooling in your eyes because you brought this on yourself and you don’t even understand why you are so mad about this like yoongi used to mean nothing to you or did you just think he meant nothing to you?
you really want to call off the dare because at this point, it’s gotten too far.
“it’s freezing here, come back in.” you stiffen at the sound of yoongi and don’t even turn around, you just wish he goes away because of how you’re ignoring him. you hear steps and you almost sigh in relief, thinking that he left but when the steps keep getting louder, you turn around confusedly only to see yoongi walking towards you. he reaches where you stand as you hold your breath and he just looks at you while you look away with flushed cheeks.
“this isn’t the time to be stubborn doll, just come in.” he lightly scolds you and you huff out in frustration.
“why don’t you go in?” you snap, finally looking at him and almost instantly shrink back down because you’re really in no position to give him an attitude. yoongi clenches his jaw, trying hard to mask his annoyance because he doesn’t understand why he can’t get his feet to just move and leave you alone like you clearly want him to.
“i told you i will do the damn tattoo, why are you still being a bitch?” his words are like a harsh slap to your face, does he really think you’re still going on about the tattoo?
“this isn’t about the fucking tattoo, yoongi!” you yell at him, throwing your hands in the air and running a hand though your hair, almost pulling too harshly at the roots.
“then what is it about?” he crosses his arms over his chest, taking more steps towards you and looks at you sternly, and you don’t know what to tell him.
“you won’t understand” you shake your head pathetically, now even more confused with the close proximity you two shared but yoongi doesn’t move, he stays right where he is, so close to you that you feel dizzy.
“you don’t know that” he fires back and up close, you can see his frown getting deeper. the tension in the air is high and both of you are breathing heavier than necessary and your eyes stay glued on each other, if you moved a little more, you would be fully leaning on him and even from your position, you can feel his body heat.
“i used to think you meant nothing to me and all you’ll ever be is someone who will drive my nail to the wall, but turns out, i was fucking wrong about that, i was wrong and i can’t stand being nothing to you and you definitely don’t mean nothing to me anymore, and i don’t even know why i’m telling you all of this when you obviously don’t give a shit.” you hold your gaze as you try to put your emotions into words, it’s a mess but you feel lighter, things are ruined anyway and all you want to do right now is pull him close to you and just hold him all night even as you’re yelling at him, as fucked up as that sounds.
“do you really want to know what’s going on?” your voice is reduced to a mumble as your eyes shift from his eyes and move towards his lips, his gaze travels with yours and his eyes land on your lips too, and before he could let another breath out, you pull his collar to you and tilt your head to meet his lips.
yoongi responds immediately, his hands snaking around your waist to squeeze your hips and pulling you closer till your chest met his, as your fingers tangle themselves in his hair, tugging lightly, just enough to make him groan lowly, and the sound sends a shiver down your body.
neither of you pull apart for air, just letting yourself getting lost in him, in the taste of him that you’ve been unknowingly chasing for so long, and every touch he leaves on your body feels like a trail of fire that burns bright.
kissing yoongi was probably the best thing you’ll ever experience in your life.
and you’re scared to pull away because you know that nothing will ever be the same again, you just want to stay in this moment for as long as you can, forever if you can, avoid reality for as long as you can.
but of course, not all of your wishes come true.
you eventually push lightly at his chest to gasp for air, fingers curling around his shirt, you don’t want to let go and he leans his forehead on yours, breathing heavily as well, his eyes are tender as they watch you catch your breath, his hands leave your hips and gingerly reach out to tuck your hair back into place, all while his eyes never leaves yours and everything feels so intimate and delicate, like it’s just you and him in this night, every sound, anyone else are all white noise.
“yoongi” you mutter as you slip your fingers away from his hair and he shakes his head, taking your hand in his and holding it to the side of his face.
“please don’t say anything” there is pleading in his tone, a wish that you owe him for all the times you’ve fucked up so you do as he says, you let him caress your hands as his forehead never leaves yours, but he isn’t looking at you anymore, you don’t complain though because this way, you can look at him all you want and he will never know.
but after a while of just letting the wind embrace you two, you decide that you can’t live in this feeling forever, especially when everything feels so confusing and neither of you have a clue about what is going on, the only thing you know is that you’re in each other’s arms and that’s it, that’s all you know.
and that’s not enough.
“yoongi, your girlfriend” you whisper painfully, your heart is caught in your throat when his fingers pause on your skin, slowly retracting back to himself and he leans away from you, hands still loosely gripping your fingers, you already miss his warmth enveloping you. but you can’t be selfish, it’s no longer only both of your hearts that are involved.
“we can’t do this.” you pull yourself away from him and wipe the corners of your eyes that almost leak your tears, yoongi doesn’t say anything, but his silence is his surrender to the situation, you take his silence to be his agreement with you, that this isn’t okay.
taking his silence and compliance as your answer, you leave before your heart breaks even more than it already has.
-
you walk around like a breathing shell around the campus, regretting nothing and everything at the same time.
you don’t regret kissing yoongi, you don’t think you ever will but you regret how it happened, you regret the situation you put the two of you in.
but he kissed you back, that’s what confuses you the most, you fully expected him to tear away from you and curse at you while wiping his lips but he didn’t, he kissed you back, like actually pulled you closer till you couldn’t feel anything but him.
you want to ask him why he did that, but you can’t. you can’t look at him without feeling complete humiliation because you might have just been another girl for yoongi, another girl for him to cheat on his girlfriend with and you feel…worthless.
and you also broke girl code, something you firmly believed in, or at least used to believe in, you want to talk to his girlfriend and tell her so that she won’t be constantly lied to but you also don’t want to get involved with yoongi again.
you push your books away with a groan and throw your pen on the desk you’re sat on; you can’t concentrate for shit and you really just want to disappear for a few days. when your phone dings, you almost throw it out the window because you told your friends that you needed space after they saw you looking dull at the party and you aren’t in the mood to party and forget even if that sounds lovely.
you grab your phone with a frown and squint at it when the bright light blinds you for a second, you curse yourself and reduce the brightness to see a message from an unknown number.
from: xxxxxxx
tomorrow, 9 in the morning, get the tattoo done or forget about it.
you just stare at the screen for a few minutes, it’s definitely him, even through the text messages, you know that it’s him, and he’s offering to do the tattoo? even after everything?
it isn’t right to go for it but you’ve got a dare to finish, right?
-
genius lab ended up being so far away from your apartment, that by the time you got to the front of it, you were heaving like a pregnant women, and you heavily grasp the handle of the shop, pulling it open with all the strength you have left. you stumble in to see a pretty empty shop, it is a working day so that isn’t a surprise, you wipe the sweat off your forehead as you look around for yoongi.
what are you even going to say?
‘hello, the kiss was great and i still feel weak from it but let’s forget that happened because that basically was just you cheating on your girlfriend?’
that doesn’t sound right.
“y/n, right?” you look up to see a younger, handsome man at the counter.
“jungkook?” he smiles and nods his head, extending his hand towards you, you shake it with a smile of your own and you really shouldn’t be smiling, considering your situation but jungkook has a very infectious aura, very bright and filled with joy.
you like him already.
“yoongi hyung is in the back room, he told me to tell you to go there” he gestures towards the other end of the room and you want to turn and run away from here, because as far as you can tell, the back rooms are private places meaning it’s just going to be you and yoongi.
your original plan was to look at other customers as you get yours done but how can you look at anything in a room if yoongi was going to be the only person in there?
“is that so? then i’ll get going in there, good luck here jungkook” you give him a nervous smile and he beams at you with a nod, eyes shining and you coo at how adorable he looks before you take a deep breath to calm yourself and slowly walk towards the room.
you’re only here for the tattoo and nothing else, you won’t talk with yoongi at all or even look at him, just let him do the tattoo and leave.
there you go, perfect plan.
you push against the door with your hip, peeking in to see yoongi with his back to you and you take a quick step back, clutching your hand on your racing heart, you haven’t even seen him fully but you’re not sure if you can stop yourself from lunging at him.
“are you just going to stand there, doll?” just as you’re about to tip-toe your way out of the tattoo shop and hopefully move to a remote island where you don’t have to worry about anyone, yoongi calls you out, with his back still to you.
how did he even know that you were there?
you clear your throat a little and step into the room, the walls are white and there’s a few boards filled with drawings here and there, and then there is yoongi who apparently has decided to wreck you by wearing torn jeans and a black hoodie.
the outfit isn’t special by any means but you already feel weak in the knees.
you decide to walk over to him with your knees still wobbly and your breath shakier than it was and look over his shoulder to see him working on a tattoo design, probably yours, you lean over to see it properly and gasp at the delicate baby’s breath drawing, your favorite flower.
“i didn’t draw it, my sister did” he mumbles as continues tracing it carefully.
“your sister is talented” you say honestly and he hums in agreement.
okay, so you two are going to act like yesterday didn’t happen, you can definitely go along with that.
“stop loitering doll, just sit down on the chair” he can’t focus when you’re walking around him with big, curious eyes and a small smile dancing on your lips, and he feels bad when you sigh in disappointment and silently walk to the big chair in the middle of the room.
but he can’t do anything about it, he expected you to be your usual self and fire back at him but you didn’t and he doesn’t have a good feeling about that.
he heads over to the chair with the tattoo design ready in his hands, he instructs you to lay down and makes sure you’re fully comfortable and his side keeps pressing against your body as he leans over to prepare things for the tattoo and it takes everything in you to not kiss him again. so, you keep yourself busy, fiddling with the hem of your shirt.
“you’re going to have to look at me if we’re doing this, y/n” he says and you lift your gaze to see him looking at you with a face you can’t read or decipher but you hold his stare as he circles around you to flicker some lights on you.
“where do you want the tattoo?” he asks, pushing his sleeves up, to reveal scatters of small tattoos all over his arms and you gulp at the visible veins on his hands.
“i get to choose?” you raise your eyebrows and he shrugs.
“well, it’s your body doll, i think it was cruel enough to make you do this, so yes, you do.”
you do know where you want to get it, you always thought that if ever, one day, you decide to be brave and get a tattoo, there’s one spot you’ve wanted it to be but you’re not sure if yoongi will be okay with it.
do you really want to push your luck here?
“are you sure you’re comfortable with anywhere?” you decided to ask him and he frowns at you like there’s an obvious answer.
“yes, that’s my job.”
“right” you purse your lips and nod as he looks at you expectantly.
“i want it on the side on my waist” you whisper and yoongi drops his head with a chuckle.
“doll, do you want to kill me?” and your face heats up at his tone and at the way he looks up with a smirk, nodding while putting on his gloves.
“then you will have it on the side of your waist, you have to push your shirt up by a lot, like right under your bra and hold it there, understood?” you do a double take at his straightforward tone, like talking about your bra is totally normal but you just bob your head hastily and agree to whatever he’s saying, trying to not make a big deal out of it but you’re sure that your red face is a dead giveaway.
“okay, lay on your side” he places his hand on your shoulder and gently pushes you back on the reclined seat, and you huff deeply because it’s only now dawning on you that you’re getting a tattoo done by yoongi, it’s going to be on your waist and you feel stupid for not just going for your arm. you stiffen under him and watch with wide eyes as he places the needles on the table, those look painful and you’re genuinely terrified now.
“scared of needles?” you nod numbly to his question, squeezing your eyes shut and trying to get rid of the image of those needles.
“it’s whatever, it’s fine” you breath out but your body definitely gives you away, your hands are shaking and you’re sure that you feel dizzy.
“doll, take it easy, it’s going to be over in no time and just remember to breath properly during it” when he gets no response from you, and your eyes are still closed, he realizes how scared you are.
“you want me to distract you?”
“please.” you mumble and he wordlessly lifts your shirt for you because you don’t look like you’re going to move but he keeps his eyes on your face while he does that, carefully tucking your shirt under your arm to keep it from moving away and if you weren’t as scared as were right now, you would have noticed the goosebumps that rise everywhere his touch reaches.
he gently holds your shirt in place and places the drawing on your skin, putting it flat and rubbing it slowly so that it would transfer well, and you feel weirdly hot, he’s just doing his job but you really want to just grab him and take him right there.
“okay, i will draw over this and then we will get to the actual tattoo” you actually shiver a little when you feel one of his hands tracing the design and the other slightly pulling on your skin so that it stays taut and you don’t know why the fuck you agreed to this because you’re clearly suffering here.
“what do you think of weird food combinations?” he suddenly asks once he’s done with the tracing.
“some are alright, i guess” you answer and then you hear the sound of the drilling needle causing you to let out a low whine and bury your face into the seat you’re lying on.
you should have stayed home, even the sound is freaking you out.
“which ones, according to you, are acceptable?”
“i don’t think mint chocolate is as bad as people make it out to be.” he scoffs at your response, making you frown.
“what is your problem?” you snap at him and yoongi smiles because you’re finally talking to him like you always do, he would recognize that tone of yours anywhere.
“mint chocolate is horrible, doll, i thought you had taste.” he clicks his tongue at you and you immediately go on a rant about how mint chocolate is too hated of a flavor and that at the end of the day, it’s just food and everyone has different tastes.
somewhere in the middle of your rant, yoongi looks at you fondly, you’re always so passionate about everything, even the simplest things, you make it sound and feel like how music affects him, and just as you’re almost done with your rant, he presses the needle on your skin making you yelp and you would’ve jumped and ended up scarring your skin if it weren’t for his hands holding you down.
this hurts this hurts this hurts.
it’s all you can think of as he slowly moves the needle around, looking at you every once in a while to check if you’re okay.
“i never got to tell you this but i think you following your passion with music is really cool and i really respect you for that, i hope you know that i will always support you on it.” you breath out quickly and if you weren’t here, yoongi would’ve cried because he appreciates your words so much, he pats your head in thanks, mumbling how grateful he is and it’s delicate, just like your first kiss.
it doesn’t last long though.
“you know, a food combination i like is french fries and vanilla ice cream.” your mouth drops open at his words, that sounds nasty as hell.
“why are you looking at me like that?” he laughs at your scrunched up face.
“what the fuck do you mean by french fries and vanilla ice cream?” you practically growled at him while looking at him with pointed eyes, can this tattoo be done anytime soon?
“don’t say shit when you haven’t tried it.” he smirks at your annoyed expression and you just glare at him.
“i don’t have to try that monstrosity to know that it tastes like trash.” you snap at him with raised eyebrows and just when he is about to reiterate with another comment, you unconsciously move, you hear him tut and hold you back down with a strong grip.
“sit still doll, or i might just drive this needle into your nerves and leave you paralyzed for life.” you know his warning doesn’t mean shit but you stay silent and stop moving anyways.
wait, you haven’t felt pain for the past five minutes, and you realize it’s because yoongi distracted you, he could’ve just done his job and leave you to suffer alone but he didn’t, and your heart swells a little.
that was sweet of him.
“how did you know that i like baby’s breath?” yoongi pauses with the needle but then continues like nothing happened at all.
“asked around” he casually replies and you roll your eyes, of course he would say that.
“yoongi, we need to talk about what happened in the party” you nervously but finally address the elephant in the room, biting your lip once the pain increases again.
“when i have a needle in my hand, really?” he looks up with an exasperated expression and you nod.
“with a needle in your hand, yes.”
“doll, all i’ve got to say is, i don’t know why you think i have a girlfriend” he laughs a little as he continues moving the needle against your skin.
wait what?
“what?”
“wait a second, your tattoo is almost over” you let him finish up while you are lost in your own thoughts, you are once again confused about everything and you don’t even feel the pain anymore, he places a patch over the tattoo after you get a look of it and you have to admit, he might not have passion in this but he’s surely talented.
he helps you sit up slowly, holding both of your hands firmly and pulling you forward till your legs almost wrapped themselves against his waist, he doesn’t let go of your hands though.
“i don’t have a girlfriend, and the only reason i let you go that night was because you didn’t look like yourself, i didn’t want to take advantage of you when you were that emotionally vulnerable, i don’t think i’ve ever seen you that dull.” he speaks sincerely and you know that he’s honest but you’ve still got so many questions.
“so, what about the girl from the previous party? the one where we played spin the bottle?”
“she wasn’t my girlfriend, i didn’t even sleep with her that night.” he shook his head as he said it and you narrow your eyes at him.
“well, she doesn’t know that because she’s bragging to everyone that you’re her boyfriend” you poke a finger at his chest accusingly and he chuckles.
“let her, i know who’s i want to be and it’s not her” your cheeks flush when he looks at you pointedly as he says that, you clear your throat and sit up straighter, taking this new information gracefully and doing a little happy dance in your heart, you wrap your arms around his neck and plays with the ends of his hair as he can’t help but grin at you.
“what about at the studio? you got so mad” you mumble sadly because you still remember how heartbroken you were that day and yoongi sighs, patting your cheek and rubbing his thumbs in circles on them.
“well, girlfriend or not, i didn’t like that you blackmailed me, doll. i had just opened up to you and you hit me with that so yeah, i was mad but i’m not anymore, okay? i know how stupid you can be sometimes” he adds the last part teasingly and you immediately gasp, pulling away from him and hitting his chest though a huge smile blooms on your face. yoongi laughs happily as you continue to try to hit him as he dodges.
eventually he gets tired of moving away from you, so he grabs your hands in his and pulls you closer till your lips meet his, your wrists stay captured in his hands as you kiss him back with every bit of your nerves ignited with a fresh need, you pull away from him with a small giggle while he wears a dopey grin.
“i hate you so much” you mumble against his lips with a huge grin, but like any other time, you don’t have a scowl on your face nor do you mean those words at all, he hums in agreement, pecking you one more time and cupping your face in his hands.
“trust me doll, i hate you so much more” he coos at you and you laugh at him because you know he doesn’t mean it either, you know that the word hate is just a replacement for love when it comes to the two of you, the way his eyes sparkle at you with a newfound joy tells you enough, and your laugh only gleefully extends once he starts peppering kisses all over your face as you try to swat him away.
so yes, youhate yoongi a lot, you hate min yoongi the most.
to: jisoo
the dare’s done, you can get off my ass about it! and guess who has a boyfriend now?
in a sea of unfamiliar faces, jimin’s face stood out like you were meant to see him, like you were supposed to feel your heart stop in place with how his smile made you feel when you introduced yourself or how he hold onto that smile while shaking your hand as slowly as he could just to tease you, and it didn’t take long for him to occupy a part of your heart.
well, at least as your best friend.
“i really don’t get it” jimin whines as he wipes down the counter, you look up from typing away on your computer with a slight frown and tilt your head at his annoyed expression.
“get what?” you sip the hot chocolate that jimin graciously made for you the second you stepped into the bakery he worked at.
“i don’t get what is happening with jungkook and that girl” you turn back to see jungkook sharing a strawberry shortcake with a girl and they had huge smiles on their faces, both of them positively glowing as sunlight hit them in all the right places.
you could feel the lovey-dovey atmosphere around them all the way from where you’re sitting and it was cute, kind of cute, you grimaced a little because you were never a romance enthusiast.
or maybe you were just as bitter as jimin.
but you’re better at hiding it than he is.
“they seem to like each other, why are you so mad about that?” you scoff while masking your own not-so-nice feelings with a glare, and see jimin huff out a long breath, getting even more annoyed when you point out his obvious unnecessary reaction.
“they met like a week ago” you raised your eyebrows at the bitter tone in his voice.
“okay, so what about that? they like each other and things look good, who put a stick up your ass?” you chuckled a little and went back to typing, jimin lightly threw the cloth on the counter and you shake your head at his dramatic action.
“it’s not about that, i’m stuck doing all the work because jungkook is in love with someone he met a week ago, i shouldn’t have pushed him to her.” he scolded himself for being so encouraging to jungkook but deep down, he knows that’s not the reason at all.
“is it really that or you’re just jealous because you didn’t get laid this past week?” you quipped with pursed lips and jimin threw a glare your way causing you to laugh.
“you can just say you’re jealous, you don’t have to be a bitch about jungkook finally getting with someone” you shrugged, and jimin rubbed his forehead.
“listen, i’m not jealous, i just, can you at least listen to me?” jimin whined exasperatedly when you ignored him and continued typing, you slightly paused, nodding distractedly, holding a hand up to signal that it will take a minute and jimin huffs as he steps away.
“why do i even try with you?” he pouts deeply and you almost give in, wanting to shut your laptop right then and give him your undivided attention but you hold yourself back.
“don’t be so fucking dramatic, give me a minute and i’m all yours” you mumbled while rolling your eyes, finally finishing your assignment and saving it with a relieved sigh, now you were free for the weekend and you didn’t have to worry about your professor breathing down your neck to finish your work, you look up with a small smile to see jimin staring at you with an unreadable expression.
“what’s up? why are you being so pissy?” you crossed your arms over your chest and stared pointedly at him, jimin suddenly looks shy, nervous even which has you concerned for your usually very confident and charismatic friend.
“i feel like i should be doing that too, you know?” he narrowed his eyes as he tried to explain what exactly he was feeling and it only made you feel more confused.
“….sharing a strawberry shortcake with someone?” you asked with an incredulous expression and jimin resisted the urge to hit you on top of your head, thank goodness he liked you.
“no, what the hell? not that. i want to be like that” he gestured towards jungkook and the girl who were now completely obvious to the rest of the world, it’s like they were floating in their own bubble built with joy and security, any person in the room would be able to tell that they were witnessing love blooming right in front of them.
you’re not sure if jimin is jealous or just being a bitter old man about young love, but you knew you were jealous.
you want that too, a bubble of your own that you build carefully and steadily till no one can break it, you wanted to experience love too.
it’s only when jimin starts talking again that you lean back in to hear him, not fully listening to him but listening to him enough to not lose track of the conversation or to get out of your mind weaving its imaginations.
“i’m not jealous, i’m more than happy for our jungkook but there’s a little part of me that also wants to sit in front of the sun, completely lost in the person sitting opposite to me, i want that feeling of acting like there’s only us in the room and everyone else is just air” jimin speaks whimsically, like there was magic twirling in his words, he had a charming smile on his face as he narrated what the love of his dreams would be like.
“so, being in love?” you mutter and trail off, not paying attention to the curious look that grazes your face as you think about how love must feel like, it had to be an out of this world feeling, right? that is why people go so crazy over it. it’s the feeling many great authors have tried to explain, while they have given a peek to what love is, even the greatest couldn’t define it fully.
you don’t believe in romance however, you don’t believe you’ll ever get to build the bubble you want, you accepted that maybe one day, you might fall in love but romance might never show up in your life, because you’re simply not ready for the vulnerability that comes with the rushing strands of romance.
and you’re so lost in yourself, you miss the way jimin stops thinking and looks at you with a smaller, but softer smile on his face, the smile that no one knows about, not even you.
“yeah, being in love.” it’s after he says these words with so much warmth that you snap fully out of whatever daze you went in.
because jimin sounds serious and he’s only serious about a handful of things, one of them being sales at the chanel store, you’re not kidding, you can’t even count all the times he’s dragged you there during black fridays, and by now, even the staff know him by name, another thing he is serious about is relationships, not just romantic ones, but friends and family, he takes them all very seriously, he’s always telling you that without effort, any relationship would collapse which is why we should take care of ourself and the people around us.
“why?” you can’t help but ask, like sure it looks and sounds lovely to be with someone you care about, but why is jimin so suddenly interested in it?
“i’m just sick of seeing it all around me and not experiencing it myself, like even in the movies we watch or the songs we listen to, it’s all people seem to want, i’m just, i think i’m curious to see if it’s as beautiful as everyone describes it” you can relate to that, you’ve switched more than a few movies or songs because they got too cheesy or you just wanted to avoid something that seemed so far away to you.
“what if it hurts?” you ask, looking down at your fingers as you fiddle with them, waiting for his answer and he shrugs.
“then i get hurt” you finally look at him, mostly out of shock, because he can’t be this casual about getting his heart broken one day but jimin looks determined, to experience it, to live it, to be in love, you haven’t seen jimin this sure in a long time.
something about his simple answer nags you, maybe it’s just that easy, you just get hurt, you move on, you find someone else but deep down, you know that if you’re going to love, you’re only going to love one person and you’re going to do it right then or maybe you’re just a coward who doesn’t want to hurt someone or get hurt.
“well, you’ll get there one day” you look away from his intense gaze and pretend to keep working on something in your laptop, refusing to spare him anymore glances and out of your periphery, you can see jimin eye you one last time before sighing heavily and going back to stand at the till.
-
you don’t talk about it ever again, you even change the topic every time jimin brings it up, you know that he’s getting suspicious but you can’t help it, all that talk about love or finding your fit, made your mind cloudy, you had a lot of thoughts about it and none of them seemed like your thoughts, almost like borrowed thoughts from people around you to form an idea of love that you’re not sure you believe in.
you’re young, you shouldn’t be worrying about this and jimin shouldn’t either but here you are, two idiots aimlessly looking for love that has never presented itself in their lives before.
it has, but it’s not like you two have a clue.
you watch from where you sit in the cafeteria with narrowed eyes, jimin, who said he would be back in five minutes and it’s been twenty minutes now, is surrounded with people, the jocks, the nerds, other stereotypical people from different social groups, and he’s happily in the center of it all with an easy smile on his face.
it’s like he glows with attention, he glows with his charisma to be able to talk to anyone without wanting to run away, a power you both want and never want to be blessed with because even if you’re not all about being around people, it would be nice to hold a conversation with just about anyone, but jimin clearly doesn’t mind as he says something that has everyone around him laughing while clutching their stomachs.
for a second, you want to grab him and pull him with you so he can make you laugh like that because you don’t necessarily enjoy other people’s attention, but you don’t move an inch, you just clasp your eyes shut and slam your head on the table in front of you.
you shouldn’t think too much about this, it’s just jimin, he’s always loved being around people and you’ve never felt this urge to have all his attention to yourself but here you are, one bad move away from dragging him back to your table.
you are desperate for someone who’s already close to you and naturally, gives you a lot of attention, and you feel pathetic for thinking this way.
this isn’t like you.
you’ve never wanted jimin beside you so badly, and you aren’t sure about what you’ll talk about if he’s beside you, you’re just hoping he will carry the conversation like he usually does.
you feel a tap on your table making you look up to see namjoon staring at you unsurely.
yeah, slamming your head on a table in a room full of people probably will raise some questions about your sanity.
namjoon and you have a very casual but deep friendship, you don’t know how to explain it, but if jimin left your side at a party, you definitely would go look for namjoon to get drunk with and talk about anything in the world, he’s very open to any topic and you’re more than happy to indulge in his bright and unique mind.
“you okay?” he asks you with raised eyebrows and you nod sheepishly.
you’re just peachy.
he didn’t look like he believed you but he let it slide.
“then hopefully i will see you at the party tonight, we can pick up on that documentary about whales again?” he tilts his head, this is why you love talking with him, drunk or sober, he makes what seem like the most boring topics in the world into things that you want to be invested in, though he is much more fun when he’s drunk, and normally, you would throw finger guns and excitedly tell him yes but you already have something planned.
“movie night with jimin, so probably no, sorry joon, but i’ll come to the library in a bit, i need to pick up some books, you’ll be there, right?” he shrugs like it’s obvious he will be there because he does volunteer to work there from time to time and he leaves after that, and you’re all by yourself again.
not for too long though.
“namjoon hyung left already? i was about to come over and say hi” jimin’s voice makes you jump in your place and when he sits down beside you, you feel the all too familiar feeling of relief at his voice and presence flood through you as you exhale deeply.
jimin doesn’t notice your eyes travel across his face, taking him in like it was the first time you saw him and starts eating from the tray in front of him.
friends are allowed to admire each other, right?
“yeah, he just wanted to ask about today’s party, speaking of which, we’re still on for movie night, right?” you nudged jimin from stuffing his face with the day-old cafeteria food, he looks up with a frown, mouth smothered with red sauce and gulping down hard.
how attractive.
“i didn’t tell you?”
“tell me what?”
he furrowed his eyebrows deeper, trying to remember if he told you about his random date tonight and once he comes to the realization that he indeed didn’t tell you, he freezes.
movie nights.
they really are nothing special, it’s not like you do anything besides watch some action or animation movie while eating the greasiest foods, it’s the one-day jimin and you refuse to diet or be careful with your body, and most movie nights end with you drunk and asleep on the couch.
movie nights came to existence when your girlfriend in first year dumped you and you went crying to jimin’s dorm because you didn’t know who else you could go to, jimin knew all along that she was going to dump you at some point, he had warned you even that it was only a matter of time before you end up hurt, and considering the playful nature of your friendship, you expected him to drop the ‘i told you so’ line but instead, he scanned you with concerned eyes and silently put on the funniest movie he could think of.
boss baby.
and within seconds, maybe it was because of how much warmth jimin held in his eyes as he dried your tears and patted your head with a careful ‘don’t cry, not when you’re with me’ or maybe it was just because boss baby (tied with big hero 6, tangled and soul) was the best animated movie ever made, but you forgot.
you forgot about your girlfriend who you really did like a lot, you had a lot in common with her, and it was the first time you were dating after coming out as bisexual, it felt good, and even if you felt like you could really fall for her, you knew something was missing with you two and you even feel grateful that you didn’t have to cut her off, she did that for you.
but that day, you felt with jimin what you didn’t feel with your girlfriend.
safe.
you felt safe with jimin.
so yeah, nothing special.
nothing special about the way you looked at jimin that night and the tight feeling in your chest that you’ve been carrying since that day.
“date tonight, i won’t be coming over for movie night, i really thought i told you” you couldn’t hide your disappointment at his words, you really were looking forward to watching movies and eating junk tonight, especially with jimin, but you quickly masked it with a huge grin.
“don’t even worry about it, go and have fun, i’m sure it will go well, i will probably just watch something and eat ice cream anyway” you said with as much fake enthusiasm as you could and you almost felt like he didn’t believe you but he flashed you an equally wide grin and nodded happily.
“i hope it goes well too, i like him, he’s in my sociology class and he seemed pretty cool, we’ll see” he winks at you and he always does that, you usually just wink back at him but today, you want to bury your head in your plate of mashed potatoes to hide your flushed face. you cough and look away from him, picking your food with the dull plastic fork and your reaction confuses jimin a little, but he shrugs and continues stuffing his face.
-
“are these all the books you need?” namjoon scans the small stack of books on the counter he’s sat at and you bob your head as you sit across him, cheek leaning on your open palm.
“wait, where’s jimin? you two are usually always together” that line stings more than it should, yeah you and jimin are always together but you feel weird when someone else says it, like fuck it, you get around a lot by your own too, you don’t need jimin for everything.
“he’s preparing for a date with a cute guy from his sociology class” you mumbled with obvious disappointment and maybe even some fury laced in your voice and namjoon’s mouth forms an ‘o’ at your words.
“so, he ditched your movie night?” he states plainly and lifts his hands in surrender when you glare at him.
“he didn’t ditch me, he’s just having a date, that’s fine, i’m happy that at least one of us is having fun” your words might not be that alarming but the look on your face is, you look bitter, and like you’re ready to rip a head off and namjoon doesn’t want that to be his head so he coughs with wide eyes and returns to setting your books aside.
“what’s up with you? anything interesting?” you distractedly question as your gaze travels across the pretty empty library, it’s always this empty and namjoon is secretly grateful because he doesn’t necessarily like being around people just like you, so he enjoys the quiet and peace that the library offers.
“a little bit, i met someone in the park near han river the other day” namjoon says with a gentle grin on his face and you immediately perk up, leaning in with raised eyebrows.
“tell me everything” you whisper dramatically and namjoon lets out a laugh at your serious tone.
“there’s nothing to tell but i feel like there will be if..” he trailed off and you leaned in even more, trying to catch any details he throws at you.
“there will be if you come to the party tonight” he concludes with a sly grin on his face and you smirk, namjoon was smart, but you knew he wasn’t all that confident in the dating game so whatever was happening with him and this person he’s met, has to be something special and it’s not like you have a movie night anymore, so you return his sly grin and happily hop out of the library.
-
standing in the middle of a full room with a tight dress on with heels instead of booty shorts in your room isn’t your ideal night but you have to say, it’s not horrible so far, you’ve seen familiar faces, managed to greet and maintain a small conversation without wanting the floor to pull you in, more than a few of them asked where jimin was and it took everything in you to not visibly be annoyed.
you came here to distract yourself from him and even here, your conversations are flooded with mentions of him, you step away from everyone while nursing your peach infused drink which definitely has alcohol in it with wandering eyes, trying to find namjoon in this mess, praying to find him quickly because you will throw a chair if one more person asks about jimin.
“where the fuck is he?” you angrily type away on your phone, trying to spam him to catch his attention just in case his phone is in his pocket in this loud room and your heart leaps out of your chest when someone takes your wrist and starts walking ahead.
“sorry, you looked lost and i need to get out of here as soon as i can” namjoon yells from in front of you and you’re so glad that it’s him and not some random asshole trying to harass you.
once you’re both in the quieter area of the room, namjoon lets your wrist go with an apology and lets you know that he’s going to be back with drinks and you’re alone again.
you feel nothing but bored as you watch people bump and grind against each other, it’s only when your eyes catch jungkook’s tall figure in the room that you almost lift your hand to wave but looking at his hand holding hands with the same person you saw in the bakery, you decided against it because they looked pretty cozy and engrossed in their own conversation, it just looked like a delicate scene even in the rowdy room and you didn’t want to ruin it.
“okay vodka shots for you and beer for me”
“you know me so well.” you feign being flattered and namjoon laughs at you,
“that i do” namjoon mutters, his tongue poking out a little as he carefully tries to place the glasses on your table and you stifle a laugh when he manages to spill an entire shot on the table with a red face and cheeky smile.
“at least you didn’t spill all of them” you mused as you grabbed a glass for yourself and namjoon playfully nudged your shoulder.
“that was one time.”
“one time but it still happened kim namjoon.” you teased and he rolled his eyes at you but still clinked your glass with his and you quickly held your hands up, gesturing him to wait, namjoon waits patiently with his glass still in the air.
“what happened near han river?” you wiggle your eyebrows at him and you think you’re kidding yourself when you see namjoon blush a little.
“i met someone, and i only know their name, but i feel this kind of connection, you know? like i was supposed to meet them” he wistfully says, his eyes sparkling just a bit as he recalls his memory and you smile at him, he sounds so hopeful and you couldn’t be happier for him.
“what do you plan to do?”
“chase the feeling? all i know is, i’m going every day until i don’t feel anything anymore” namjoon is very sure of his answer and you’re more than impressed.
“good luck with that, lover boy” you tease lightly and namjoon scoffs at the cringey nickname but then starts the ever so exciting conversation about whales that you’ve been looking forward to for a long time now.
you don’t do a lot of the talking, much like in any conversation you take part in, you always let the other person speak more and namjoon loves talking, you love listening, so it really is a perfect conversation.
you are so invested in the fact that whales actually sleep while standing, you don’t pay attention to anything happening in the room around you, you tune out the entire room, you are definitely a little drunk now because the room is spinning a little and whatever namjoon is saying with the most interest in the world, is nonsense to you at this point but you still listen, nodding from time to time to show him that you’re listening.
“y/n? i thought you were staying home” you snap your head to look at where jimin’s voice comes from, the sudden movement making you a little dizzy and namjoon points behind you and there he is, jimin standing with his coat on his arm with a surprised expression on his face.
“hello hyung, have you talked to hoseok hyung lately? Is he doing better?” jimin directs his gaze to namjoon, not even waiting for you to answer but it’s not like you would have said anything, you just play with the hem of your dress as they keep talking.
just with his presence, you feel like you’ve sobered up.
you don’t know how to feel with jimin here, people walk past him, greeting him excitedly and he is equally excited to talk to everyone.
you want his attention and he keeps giving it to anyone but you.
and you know you sound petty, because jimin would never intentionally not talk to you, he just enjoys company even if it’s unfamiliar and you don’t.
it also doesn’t help that jimin looks good, he always does but today he’s put in a lot more effort than usual, his hair is slicked back, he’s wearing a crisp white shirt tucked into his black jeans which makes him look dapper, there’s a lone silver earring hanging and he’s even wearing his beloved chanel necklace which rests neatly on his smooth skin, his fingers are adorned with delicate rings and you feel weak in the knees by just looking at him. you’re not the only one though and that annoys you.
since he’s walked in, you’ve taken note of how many people turn to look at him with pleased grins, and then whisper to each other about how he looks, some even wishing that they go home with him tonight and you just don’t know how to feel.
you’ve never been bothered about this, jimin was very easy on the eyes, it wasn’t a secret that he was easily a lot peoples crush on campus and you never cared about it before but tonight, that’s all you can think of with a scowl on your face.
“i think i’m going to head home, thank you for the drinks joon, i will send the money when i reach my apartment” you hop out of your bar stool and take your purse, not bothering to say goodbye to jimin who is more than caught off guard when you don’t hug him goodbye like you usually do, namjoon doesn’t question you, just nods and gives you his famous dimpled smile and lets you go your merry way.
jimin’s eyes follow you as you slowly push through people and attempt to leave the place, and he doesn’t know why but something in him tells him to run after you, which is exactly what he does, jimin ignores everyone who tries to talk to him on the way and catches you right outside the house, you’re looking through your purse for something and upon hearing the door open, you turn to see jimin breathing heavily while looking straight at you, and you immediately feel your palms sweat a little.
“what are you doing out here?”
“why are you leaving already? i just got here.” jimin has never been one to beat around the bush so the forwardness of his question doesn’t throw you off.
“i’ve been here for a while and it’s getting late so i’m going to leave.” It isn’t a total lie but it isn’t the truth either.
also, you keep paying attention to everyone but me and i know i sound stupid but i want your eyes on me is something that stays at the tip of your tongue and you don’t let him know that you look at him in a way you shouldn’t, you think of him in a way you shouldn’t, your feelings are making you selfish, possessive even and it’s driving you insane.
but you can’t tell him any of that, you can never tell him how you are starting to feel about him.
jimin tilts his head at you, scanning your posture, it’s just too much of a coincidence that you decide to leave right when he arrived and he lets you know exactly that.
“i don’t believe you, you’ve been acting strange lately.”
“i can’t do anything if you can’t believe something this simple, there’s literally nothing else going on” you lie straight through your teeth and you want to pull your hair out at the pure frustration you feel, your fingers nervously fiddle with the heart charm necklace jimin gave you for your birthday this year and it feels like it’s burning on your skin right now.
because fuck, he knows, he has noticed it, you thought you were getting away with it but you’re not.
“what are you even doing here? aren’t you supposed to be on your date? the same date you cancelled movie night for?” you can’t help but be petty, ridiculously petty even and you know that now, you’re definitely not acting like yourself when jimin throws his head back with a groan, he doesn’t understand why you seem so bothered and defensive all of a sudden.
“i told you i’m sorry about movie night.” jimin whines, but there is a pleading tone to his whine, a pleading tone that you ignore.
“no, you didn’t and you aren’t answering my question about your date either.” you quickly correct him and he pushes his hair back roughly with his fingers, a habit you’ve chastised him about a lot of times, you almost reach to slap his hand away from damaging his hair like you usually do but you hold yourself back because nothing feels like how it used to feel.
“it didn’t go well, we agreed that we just didn’t have that spark and that we’re better as friends, that’s all and i didn’t want to go home, so i came here and imagine my surprise, i see you here sipping shots with namjoon when you told me you were going to stay home and eat ice cream.” you scoff with raised eyebrows at how he turns the tables on you because his tone is so accusing as if you were sucking faces with namjoon right in front of him and it further annoyed you.
“i don’t need to tell you everything, you’re not my dad and you’re acting like you walked in on me and namjoon doing something we shouldn’t, and i can’t believe you’re making this about me when this is very clearly about you, you never even let me know you were going on a date until the day of” you point a finger at him with your anger practically radiating off of you and jimin just shakes his head at you.
“and you know that? movie night is cancelled from now on” you cross your arms over your chest as you say this, not letting any vulnerability show because it hurts to cancel something that meant a lot to you and jimin lets his mouth drop open at your words.
“what do you mean movie night is cancelled? you’re doing this because of this one time, just because you want to be petty?” jimin asks you, his voice raising with each word and it becomes so hard for you to fight your tears because you hate it so much when people yell at you, especially when people you love yell at you.
you sniff a little and look away from him, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down and facing him again, your heart breaks at how utterly gorgeous he looks even under this dim light, it’s like the moonlight dances on his skin, his eyes are still shining, his rings are sparkling around his fingers, his earring keeps swaying with the wind and his hair is slightly out of place but still well kept and it breaks you because you can never call him yours, you can’t call this beautiful man anything other than your friend.
“not just to be petty, i’m just done getting ditched, it clearly doesn’t mean a lot to you because this isn’t the first, but the fourth time you’ve cancelled without letting me know and i’m tired of looking like i’m desperate and following you around when you probably don’t even care about me” your voice is small and tight as you say this, and you’re not sure if you’re even talking about movie night anymore, you feel like you’re indirectly letting him know that you don’t know what this feeling is, this feeling that is burning your chest and heart everyday and this feeling that makes you want to push him away and leap to hug him tight at the same time.
jimin grows silent at your heavy words and somber expression, he doesn’t know when this argument became so huge, he doesn’t understand why you don’t look at him when you speak anymore, he also doesn’t understand why he feels like he wants to comfort you when he’s supposed to be angry, jimin has never felt this lost in his life.
“y/n, where is all this coming from? you know you mean the world and more to me” his voice becomes a lot softer, a lot lower, almost into a whisper, and you wished he didn’t say the words he did, you wished he didn’t talk like you were so special to him, because that is just fueling the raging feeling that’s settled in your chest.
“please talk to me” he begs with his hands reaching out to you and you want to run away, which is exactly what you end up doing.
“i need to go, don’t think too much about this, we’ll talk it out later but i need to be alone right now” you scratch your neck while you say this, refusing to look at him, and jimin feels his heart slip at the abrupt rejection you hand him. before he could do or say anything to convince you to stay, you quickly walk away from him and disappear into the night, and all jimin does is watch you leave.
-
you didn’t end up sleeping that night, all your mind could think of was jimin.
your skin still burned from that last look he gave you, the confused, lost look with his lips turned down and it was noticeably clear that he was upset.
jimin was always so happy and bright, he had his moments but when you were with him, to this day, he’s never looked at you like this.
and it took you the entire night to understand that the way you looked at him changed, you don’t think of him as a friend anymore and that you weren’t annoyed, you were jealous of all the people he’s talked to, you were jealous that he was going on a date with someone that wasn’t you.
you feel like someone has suddenly placed a lovesick filter over your eyes or maybe it’s how you have always looked at him but realizing it scared you, you couldn’t lose him, you would be incomplete without him and you were almost sure that he didn’t see you like you saw him, it was obvious with how active his dating life has been since the beginning of college. you don’t blame him for that though, he can do what he wants, it’s your fault being a coward with your own feelings.
you couldn’t think of one thing that jimin has done to show his interest to you in any way other than how a friend would.
that entire night, you lay with a heavy heart filled with feelings for your friend, your good friend who’s done nothing but support you, you pushed him away because of your selfish feelings and you hate everything, you hate that you somehow started to like him, you hate that now when you see his hand, you want to hold it and swing it around, you keep imagining scenarios of domestic things you two could be doing if you’re together and it only hurts you more.
-
after that disastrous night at the party, you never talk to him again, he never talks to you either, both of you don’t attempt to contact each other, instead you start avoiding each other.
you sit alone at lunch now, sometimes namjoon sits with you, sometimes it’s jungkook and his girlfriend who are honestly good company, they managed to make you feel single but still included you in every conversation but never did jimin even come close to where you sat, you’re not even sure if you’ve seen him around the cafeteria.
you stop going to the bakery in your free time to keep him entertained at work, jimin still looks up every time the door dings, full of hope that you’ve come to him but you don’t, and he’s left sighing while gazing longingly at the seat you usually occupy, he plays with the same heart charm necklace dangling on his skin whenever he thinks of you, but it only makes him sadder.
“i didn’t know beavers mated for life” you look up at namjoon as you bite off the apple in your hand and namjoon shrugs, jotting down the daily log for the library.
you started spending a lot more time with namjoon or just in general, in the library because it’s so calm here, you need that kind of calm or you might just go insane.
“and i also don’t understand how you manage a bakery and library at the same time” you point at him and namjoon chuckles a little at your accusing tone.
“it’s not like i work full time here.” he rolls his eyes and continues doing the little jobs assigned to him.
“but you’re always here.” you almost yell at him and he enjoys seeing how frustrated you get with his perfect capability of managing to work at two places at the same time and still do well in both while not feeling overwhelmed.
“i’ll teach you one day, don’t worry” and just as you’re about to throw a witty comment at him, a hand reaches out from behind you and places a book in front of namjoon, you would recognize that hand anywhere.
“jimin, it’s been a while since i’ve seen you here” namjoon grins at his friend who gives him a tight-lipped smile, you don’t acknowledge jimin’s presence, grabbing a random book off the counter and acting like you’re reading it, namjoon’s eyes dart over the two of you, you don’t look at jimin and jimin looks very stiff standing beside you, he isn’t even smiling like he usually does.
yikes, namjoon wants to be anywhere but around the two of you because the tension is so obvious, he almost considers jumping out the closest window but the fine he would have to cover would be too much for his student wallet.
“just needed it for an assignment hyung” jimin offers with a dull tone and namjoon just nods, quickly scanning the book for jimin and he notices how jimin’s eyes keep darting towards you but you don’t even lift your head, namjoon isn’t even sure if you’re breathing with how tight your shoulders look.
“good to see you here, y/n” jimin says, in a way too formal of a tone, and he looks disappointed when you just ignore him and continue reading, he sighs heavily with guilty laying his heart over and silently thanks namjoon, his steps are slow as he walks away, you immediately loosen up once he’s gone and exhale deeply.
“didn’t know you were into human beings and their many pleasures” namjoon gestures to the book you’re holding, it’s a book with sex tips and you want to smack your head over and over again with it just so you don’t have to see namjoon’s cheeky grin right now.
“you could’ve at least told him hello” he says lightly but there is a scold in his tone, his eyebrows are furrowed and he isn’t joking around anymore.
“it’s just complicated joon” you mumble sadly and namjoon takes the book away from you, looking at you pointedly.
“you should go after him and try, i don’t want you to regret this” he simply instructs and goes back to doing his work, namjoon’s right and you know it, you take in his advice slowly, jimin couldn’t have gone far, the library is huge and it takes a lot of time just to exit it, and if you run now, you could catch him.
but what would you say?
you decide that you will think about that on the way to him as you slide your chair back and start running.
what will you say?
would he even say anything back?
does he hate you?
you run and run, until you see his sage green cardigan just peeking around the corner, you fasten your pace to catch him, and grab his shoulder right when he almost leaves the building. he turns around grimly, like he was expecting that it was you.
“y/n” he says softly, but he also shrugs your hand off his shoulder, your heart clenches in place with how his voice and his actions differed so much.
“looked like you were having fun with hyung, i didn’t know it was so easy to replace me in your life” his eyes are ice cold, all the warmth you have associated jimin with since you’ve met him, disappears right in front of you and your words stay in your mouth because what will you say to that?
“jimin, why are you speaking that way? there’s nothing going on between us, you know that” you try to reason with him, and he shakes his head like he doesn’t believe you, scoffing a little and you feel hurt at his reaction, because this isn’t the jimin you know, he’s like this to people he doesn’t care about, he’s never like this to you of all people.
“maybe i don’t know, but you don’t have to explain anything to me, goodbye” he says with a straight face and you don’t understand how he seems so indifferent with hurting you, and you don’t say anything else as he takes one last look at you and leaves you right at the exit.
-
it hurt a lot that day, to be treated as any other person in the world, and not someone who actually meant something to jimin, and you can’t bring yourself to blame him because you weren’t all that different from him, you also weren’t treating him like you used to and it was only a matter of time before all that ignorance blew up on your faces.
and you know now, it’s glaringly obvious that you like jimin, you’ve liked him for a while and the only way you could manage coming to that realization was by pushing him away, which was stupid on your part but how else were you going to handle knowing that you were probably in love with someone who was your best friend?
you’re not sure what made you drive over to jimin’s apartment the very next day, maybe it was just knowing that even rejection wouldn’t hurt as much anymore but keeping your feelings to yourself will just be damaging to you and your friendship, as your best friend, he deserved to know how you actually felt, he was the last person you wanted to lie or hide from.
you shift on your feet as you stand in front of jimin’s room, you’re hesitant to knock or enter like you usually do, what are you even doing here? you can’t just tell jimin how you feel, what if he starts to hate you? or even worse, he never wants to see you again?
you could handle rejection but you’re not sure if you can handle not being around jimin anymore.
you take a deep breath as tears line up your eyes, why is this so hard? why did you have to like jimin the way you do? you can’t do this, not today.
you decide that you will tell jimin another time, you’re not ready to lose him yet but just as your feet back off from the door to turn and leave, you hear the door open and you’re frozen in your spot, your heart racing down the hall as jimin steps out with an equally surprised look on his face.
he gulps, tightening his grip around the bag he’s holding, he didn’t expect to see you anymore, not after he practically blew up on you when you were just trying to make amends.
“i-i was just going to throw the garbage” he nervously mutters, holding up the black bag in his hand and you nod while fiddling with your fingers as he purses his lips, alternating looking at you and the wall behind you before he sighed and finally decided to do something instead of standing around like a fool.
“wait inside, i will be back” he instructs, opening the door wider for you and you just give him a tight smile and step in, watching as jimin disappears out of view and the door close behind you. you never feel weird coming into jimin’s apartment, you spent half of your first year here rather than in your dorm room because simply his apartment was so cozy and a lot more spacious.
jimin earned a lot from the bakery, be it in the form of tips or his paycheck because the bakery was just very high-end, you used to love coming here and doing your assignments or playing board games with jimin, but it is weird now, you feel like you’re intruding on him which is the last thing you want to do.
you take off your coat, and settle on the sofa, throwing your head back because you can’t believe you’re going to tell jimin that you like him and potentially ruin a very good friendship but were you two friends anymore? you haven’t talked for days, the last few conversations you’ve had with him aren’t how friends talk and you want to make some sense out of it but you don’t understand anything yourself.
the only thing you’re sure of is that you like jimin, might even love him and that’s what you are going to tell him.
“sorry, that took long” jimin lets out a small chuckle, as he steps into the house and you are already sweating, you wave him off, muttering a it’s okay as he sits down on the sofa, at the other end, away from you. the distance hurts but it was appropriate considering your situation.
“jimin look, i’m going to make this quick because i really don’t want it to seem like a big deal” you jump right into it, you turn to him and he immediately straightens up in his place, showing you that he is listening.
“i’m not sure what exactly happened or why you thought that way, but you said that i replaced you with namjoon and namjoon, is just, a very good friend, i literally only talk about animals with him, me and namjoon are not like us, we will never be like how we both are so i just wanted to take that out of the way” you stand up in the middle of your explanation, it’s a nervous habit of yours, pacing around while talking and you see jimin sigh, in relief or exhaustion, you’re not sure but you continue before you lose all courage and run away again.
“another thing is, i like you, love you even, not how a friend should.” you pause, there’s no turning back now so you gather the little bit of strength that you can and continue but you don’t dare to look at jimin, you’re not ready for that yet.
“i’ve truthfully not been able to see you as a friend at all, like friends don’t get jealous which is exactly how i get when i see you around others, i feel like dragging you out of the room and having you all to myself and it sounds stupid but that’s how i feel, friends don’t look at each other like i look at you, it’s not in me to see you as just a friend anymore, i can’t keep lying to myself and to you, it isn’t fair on either of us” you put your hands on your hips and hang your head low.
you’ve said it, it’s out now, jimin’s heard it and he hasn’t moved an inch and the rejection you feel from just his stoic posture has you wanting to wail into your pillow and disappear into thin air.
“so yeah, that’s what i wanted to say, you don’t have to give me a reply or anything, and i understand if you don’t want to talk again, take care” you mumble shamefully, your voice cracking in the middle and it’s taking everything in you to not cry in front of him.
you sniff as silently as you can and take your coat, not turning back to look at him.
“y/n wait, you didn’t let me speak” jimin finally talks from where he sits, his face is as serious as it was all those days ago and you want the ground to swallow you up just to protect yourself from whatever gentle rejection he will give you.
you hold your breath as you watch him getting up from the couch and walking over to you, slowly like he has all the time in the world and you really just want him to say what he wants to before you start crying right here.
jimin reaches and stops right in front of you, you don’t look at him and his face softens at your nervous stance, he brings his hand up and you stiffen even more when he reaches your collarbones and slowly takes hold of the necklace you two share.
“you know what else friends don’t do? this” he lifts the heart charm necklace from your skin and you gape at him, your heart racing in your chest as he smiles down at you.
“i might give attention to people around me but i don’t give my heart just to anyone, y/n, and if i gave it to you, you can’t think that i see you as a friend, i’ve never seen you as a friend, i’ve seen you like a lover, always admiring and always from far away, but i don’t have to stay away anymore, so thank you for not being a coward like me, i love you too, i love you the most.” he drops his confession subtly, and for a second, you think you hear him wrong, but when you look up to finally meet his eyes, you see the way he looks at you. it’s the same way you look at him.
and that’s all the confirmation you need, you drop your head on his chest and groan loudly because you almost had a panic attack just by imagining the different ways this could go, you definitely didn’t think you would end up with your head on his chest but you don’t mind, it feels nice and warm, it feels just like jimin.
“couldn’t you have just said it earlier? i was ready to usain bolt out of here” you complain and he laughs above you, pushing your head in further into his chest and softly patting your head while circling his other arm around you.
“that would’ve ruined the suspense” he lightly jokes and if you weren’t as blissed out as you were, you would have punched him in the arm but your loved up heart can only lift your eyes to glare at him.
jimin looks starstruck, like your eyes hold all the galaxies in the world and he’s swimming in them, even your glare softens just by looking at him, he lifts the pad of his thumb to brush against your cheek in a such a tender way that you want to melt, you want to melt right into his arms.
“please never look away from me again.” he adds seriously because he’s missed looking at you, he’s missed looking at you with all his love and care settled into them and you nod wordlessly, pulling him in closer and rubbing your nose with his, making him giggle lightly.
and right then, you feel the bubble you’ve dreamed of, building itself steadily around you with the pure joy and love radiating off you two and you feel complete and safe.
you never thought you could make a bubble of your own, and you didn’t think that jimin would feel so right in your arms, and you definitely never thought that you would be so comfortable even with your most vulnerable emotions worn on your sleeve.
but you aren’t scared anymore, you aren’t running anymore, you don’t want to slam your head on a cafeteria table anymore, you don’t think jimin would let you do that from now on to be honest and you’re so glad that he’s proved you wrong, several times over, wrecked all your beliefs and still made you feel the way you do.
you’ve always wondered what love is.
and looking at jimin’s face, he looks like love, jimin feels like love too, jimin feels like something you want to fall in deeper for.
it’s like jimin is love itself.
and you have your answer right there in front of you, love isn’t some grand gesture that ends in happy tears, love also isn’t what they show in the movies, but love is definitely the out of the world feeling you expected it to be, and you’ve learned what love is, love is jimin.
summary: koi no yokan; a japanese phrase which doesn’t mean love at first sight, it roughly translates to love at second sight, it’s described as the feeling when you meet someone that you’re going to fall in love with them. maybe you don’t love them right away, but it’s inevitable that you will. and jungkook thinks its the best way to describe how he feels about you. (fools!universe)
the feeling you get when you first meet someone is special.
whether it be annoyance, anger, joy or nonchalance, the first impression matters because it sticks to the person if you don’t plan on knowing them any further.
but what was this feeling that jungkook got when he saw you?
there was this faint chiming somewhere in the back of his head and he’s sure that there’s no bells around him.
he positively felt his heart dip and do a somersault when he first saw you. his palms are sweaty and he’s pretty sure he stopped breathing when he gulps at your presence, and jungkook swears he busts a nerve when you glance at him with a smile dancing on your pretty lips. it’s a brief glance, he’s not even sure if you registered him in the room but he still feels his throat clench around nothing.
who are you? and why do you make him feel things he can’t explain?
you’re just laughing with your friends, and the light is hitting you in all the right places as you throw your head back, and jungkook just can’t take his eyes off you, not until he feels a smack on the back of his head. jungkook immediately drops the cup that he’s wiping with a towel from his hand and winces when he realizes he has to explain this to the manager.
“what the fuck?” he muttered while rubbing the back of his head, turning around to see jimin sitting beside him on a stool while eating an apple and scrolling through his phone, as if he didn’t just attack unassuming jungkook.
“you’re staring like a creep; we don’t do that jungkook” he continues scrolling, as jungkook gapes at him.
“i w-wasn’t staring please, that can be hardly classified as staring, i was just, you know, just- “jungkook desperately tried to explain himself and jimin gives him an uninterested glare.
“just staring like a creep, yes” jimin finishes his sentence for him and quickly turns away before jungkook could say anything to defend himself and jungkook buries his head into his hands, groaning in frustration.
“fine, i was staring at them but not in a creepy way, i promise.” he mumbles into his hands and jimin snickers a chuckle at his slumped over form and rubs a hand on his back to get him to calm down from being so flustered. jimin found joy in messing with his introvert friend from time to time, mainly because jungkook never disappointed with his reactions, often responding with red, flushed cheeks and pouted lips stretching out a whine just like he was now.
“okay, then why were you staring at them?” jimin asked, in a much gentler tone now that jungkook looked close to blushing his face off, jimin turns to see the crowd of people in the corner of the bakery they worked at as jungkook slowly lifts his head.
how is he supposed to tell jimin that he knows he’s going to fall in love with you, while not knowing you at all?
how is he supposed to explain the goosebumps crawling on his skin were simply because of your laughter?
how is supposed to tell jimin that he’s never felt his heartbeat faster than it is right now?
he can’t explain what he doesn’t understand himself.
so, he settles for an answer that would explain enough.
“i don’t know.” he shakes his head as he says this, he can feel his palms sweating even more, he warns himself to not hold anymore coffee cups, and jimin is concerned for his friend when jungkook slams his head on the counter in front of them.
jungkook is a sensitive guy, not in a naïve or gullible way, he just is a sucker for love, he’s grown up with movies, stories, songs that describe love as this feeling you can’t get enough of, this feeling that is like magic twirling between your fingertips, he’s dreamed about holding that magic in his hands, he’s dreamed about falling in love, being with the one person who makes even the worst situations feel alright, he wants that.
he’s learned about soulmates and how some are destined to meet, red string or whatever, he believes he will hear bells when he meets his soulmate and its only now that he realizes an invisible chiming keeps ringing in his ears and he’s heard it only after he’s seen you.
“oh, your friend, our senior came in today” jimin calls out to jungkook while wiping down the counter, who finally lifts his head from the counter.
“jin hyung?” jungkook questioned because he’s noticed how jin has been coming in frequently to the bakery, and jimin nods.
“i don’t know why he keeps coming back, he’s always complaining about how expensive it is and how i should be giving him a discount. what did he take anyway?” jungkook remembers how jin would come in during the afternoon only to bug him for a while about discounts and asking him for a job as if jungkook was the manager here.
“he took two cups but there was no one with him and it was so late at night too.” jimin wondered out loud and jungkook’s ears perked up, tilting his head slightly.
hmm two cups, even after the constant complaints about the price, huh?
he is definitely going to bother jin about this when he sees him.
“um hello” they hear a soft but deep voice call them out and their heads snap to see you at the counter and jungkook swears he’s going to drop another cup, jimin notices how big jungkook’s eyes have gotten and just to agitate him further, he pushes jungkook near the till where you’re waiting, laughing delightfully when jungkook throws a glare his way and nervously clearing his throat before looking at you.
wow, your eyes are pretty.
and jungkook immediately looks away, his cheeks flaring up again and he wants to dunk his face into ice to calm himself down.
“h-how can we help you?” jungkook stutters out, nervously fiddling with the buttons on the cash register, not sparing a glance at you and jimin almost bursts into laughter next to him. he’s enjoying this way more than he should.
“i’m going to pay for table 13.” you pointed behind you towards the table that was previously occupied with your friends but there was no one left now. jungkook hummed and looked up your bill.
lots of strawberry.
strawberry milkshake, strawberry tart. you looked like a strawberries kind of person so jungkook silently assumed that it was your favorite flavor.
“okay, that’s going to be 60 dollars in total” jungkook adds as he punches the number in and holds his hand out for the bill, and as you fiddle with the wallet in your hand, jungkook dares to look at you again, almost gasping at the close proximity of your faces. you look even better up close and he can notice a faint smell of this teddy bear candle he always burns in his home, and only then realizes the homely scent is from you.
you even smell of his favorite candle for fucks’ sake.
you gently place the amount in his hand and jimin almost snorts when he sees how jungkook’s hands are shaking as he takes them and jungkook clears his throat again while handing the bill to you. you’re looking at him with your head tilted to the side and like you’re thinking about something, and jungkook nervously looks around, he’s not going to survive if you keep looking at him with those bright and curious eyes.
“do we know each other?” something about jungkook feels familiar, like you know him even if you don’t know him? and jungkook is not sure how he’s going to respond, do you feel the same way he does?
“i don’t think so- “and that’s when your eyes travel to the tattoos on his hands and widen in realization, you snap your fingers like you’ve figured out the secret to making a woman orgasm. jungkook is only slightly scared of your realization.
“jeon jungkook, that’s you, right?” you ask with the same wide eyes and a giddy smile, and jungkook feels his soul leave his body slowly because there’s just so much to process.
1.you know his name, oh my fucking god.
2.you look excited about knowing him?
3.wait a second, what do you know about him?
jungkook swears he’s never seen you before because c’mon if he did, he definitely would’ve frozen even back then but he doesn’t have a single clue about you.
which is why it makes him anxious that you seem to know him.
“yep, that is him.” jimin comes over and announces as he slaps a hand on jungkook’s shoulder to snap him out of whatever daze he’s gone back into, jungkook looks white as a sheet and you are slightly concerned.
“oh, don’t get me wrong please, it’s just i saw you around my brother’s tattoo shop and your name has been in the registry for a while so yeah” you nervously giggle, brushing hair out of your face and jungkook can finally breath again.
so that’s how you know him.
that’s not bad at all, jungkook loves his tattoos.
thank god it wasn’t because of the frat parties he’s been to, he’s not sure you would look at him so excitedly if you knew about those.
“genius lab? your brother is yoongi hyung?” jungkook didn’t mask his surprise well, his voice coming out drier and more forced than he would like it to but who can blame the poor guy?
first, he has a crush on this person who just walked into the store and he’s been following your every movement like a puppy (he’s very grateful that you didn’t notice that), second, this person comes up to talk to him and third, this person already knows him and he has no knowledge of them prior to this.
he is one conversation away from having a meltdown.
“yep, that’s him, you seem to be his favorite client.” you slightly chuckle at the memory of yoongi raving about how his new client, jungkook, is so talented in drawing and has been doing his own designs, and how he wants to offer him a job at the parlor, obviously jungkook doesn’t know about this. yoongi also seems to be very fond of jungkook, always talking about him with a small proud smile on his face.
‘when he got his first tattoo, he was shaking so much y/n, i had to give him like five lollipops throughout the entire time and now he doesn’t even flinch’ he explained to you excitedly one day when you were closing the shop together, it was something he always did, tell you stories about his clients whether you listened to him or not, and you remember dismissing him without a second thought because you could care less about who your brother meets. but now looking at jungkook, you understood why your brother gushed about him.
and jungkook is lost, terribly lost. since when did he become yoongi’s favorite client? sure, he gave him an extra lollipop sometimes but that was about it, and before he could question you about it, he sees you check the time only to slightly gasp and turn to him with panic in your eyes.
“my name is y/n by the way, it was nice meeting you jungkook and- “you look over at jimin who’s yet to introduce himself and he straightens when you look at him, offering a hand with a warm smile which you take gladly with an equally warm smile.
y/n, he likes your name.
“jimin, park jimin.” jungkook snorts at jimin’s attempt at the ‘bond, james bond’ line and even you snicker with a hand covering your mouth, jimin looks with disbelief at the two of you, you two barely know each other but you seem more than okay with making fun of him, and before jimin can voice his irritation, you wave a hand to brush it off.
“it was very nice meeting you jungkook and jimin, but i gotta go, hopefully we will meet again” your eyes catch jungkook’s at the end and he can’t help but melt into a dopey grin that doesn’t go away even when you have left the bakery.
“she’s gone, you can drop the smile” jimin nudges jungkook and disappears into the kitchen, it takes everything in jungkook to not throw a cup at him. jungkook then turns back to look at the empty store and sighs as he takes a seat in his stool.
he doesn’t know why but he needs to see you again.
-
jungkook has had a lot of ideas and none of them have worked in his favor so what did he decide to do?
well, right now he’s staring up at the ‘genius labs’ sign with a design ready in his hand.
and no matter how much he tries to convince himself that it isn’t to see you, that jungkook just really wants a tattoo but even jimin knows he is lying through his teeth and also knows exactly why jungkook suddenly wanted another tattoo, only after a month or so from his previous one.
jungkook pushes the door open with one arm, the other arm tightly clutching the strap of his backpack like his life depended on it, he almost feels bad for how tightly he’s holding it and writes a silent reminder to apologize to it later on in his mind.
jungkook looks around and the store looks busier than usual, jungkook searches for any familiar faces (he’s searching for you) and immediately snaps his head when he hears someone call his name. his shoulders slump when he realizes it isn’t you.
it’s yoongi who’s calling him over with a wave and jungkook pushes past the people all while muttering silent apologies, most wave him off, some curse him out and very few pay him any attention at all, and jungkook feels at peace because he hates attention anyway.
“ah jungkook! the store has been feeling empty without you, how have you been?” yoongi asks with a warmth in his tone, as he carefully patches up a client with tape and wrap, his tongue slightly sticking out in concentration and eyes carefully trained on the client’s arm.
i have been looking for your sister because i’m pretty sure i’m going to fall in love with her even if we’ve only met once didn’t seem like the right answer and jungkook didn’t know if yoongi was one of those protective kinds of brothers so he kept his mouth shut about you.
“um i’ve just been around hyung, working at the bakery and assignments and yeah that’s about it” jungkook is distracted as he speaks, eyes still looking for you and only looks back at yoongi when yoongi rises from his kneeling position to wipe his hands and thank the client, letting them go their way.
“oh, you have a design today?” just as jungkook is about to nod yes, he notices you walk into the room from the back, patting someone on the back and sending them away with a warm smile, and jungkook’s heart halts for a minute in his chest as he nervously gulps at you. yes, he came all the way over here just to see you but he wasn’t ready to see you in any way at all. he feels his cheeks flush up again, silently cursing himself out for getting so flustered.
yoongi doesn’t miss any of this, watching jungkook’s reactions with a glint in his eyes and a small smirk growing on his face.
“y/n, come here!” he suddenly yells at you making you look at yoongi, ready to yell back at him only to see jungkook right beside him, looking as pale as a ghost and your own heart leaps in your chest at the sight of him, you quickly make your way over to them with an excited smile on your face.
“jungkook, it’s so nice to see you again” you reach over to take his hand in yours for a delicate handshake and jungkook feels his stomach dip as if he were on the edge of a rollercoaster and he’s just descended suddenly into the track. your hands are warm in his and jungkook can’t help but notice how perfectly they fit together and before he can write a poem about your hands in his, you pull away your hand with the same smile you always seem to have.
“again? you guys have met before?”
oh right, yoongi is still here, jungkook forgot about his hyung for a minute there.
“yeah, i met jungkook at the bakery he works at like two days ago, i’m glad we meet again like this” you grin at him and tap his arm a little, jungkook wants to shove himself into a cupboard because he doesn’t know how to think when you’re touching him like this and it’s an innocent touch really but jungkook’s heart warms that you feel comfortable with him.
you, on the other hand, are trying to making it obvious that you are interested in him but since you’ve met, jungkook doesn’t seem half as excited as you are and you feel dejected every single time he looks away when you try to look at him. you are clueless that the poor guy could die happy in this moment with the way you’re looking at him.
“yeah, we met hyung, i didn’t know i was your favorite client” he slightly teases yoongi who flushes red and looks at you with a glare.
“why did you tell him that y/n?” yoongi groans in frustration and you give him a shrug, a huge grin dancing on your face and jungkook feels himself smile just by looking at the side of your face.
“i’m never telling you anything again” yoongi scolds you playfully and then turns to jungkook, gesturing towards the paper in his hand.
“what’s that tattoo you want jungkook? show me” jungkook hands over the paper of his drawing to yoongi who inspects it with a proud smile, jungkook really did have a talent for drawing and yoongi is seriously considering hiring jungkook as soon as possible.
yeah, yoongi could do this tattoo in little over two hours, it’s nothing hard for him but then he eyes the way you two seem to look at each other, blush and turn away, this repeats at least ten times and yoongi wishes he could bleach his eyes.
wait a minute, yoongi doesn’t even have to do this, he thinks with a happy smirk on his face, he could have you do it because that’s what good brothers would do :]. (he very much supports whatever you and jungkook have going on because jungkook is a nice, talented kid and maybe being your boyfriend would make him more interested in the job yoongi is going to offer him.) it’s purely for you, no selfish motive here, just to see your budding love grow, it’s not so that jungkook will work for him.
“sorry jungkook, i’ve got too much work today, like three more clients and it’s going to take too long to get to you” yoongi hands him the paper with a shake of his head and almost feels bad for outright rejecting him when jungkook looks at him like he kicked his puppy.
he’s doing this for him for fucks’ sake.
“but y/n can.” yoongi adds enthusiastically and ignores the way your head snaps towards him.
“she has way too much free time on her hand and this could be a nice way to test her skills, so if you’re okay with it, she will do it instead of me.” yoongi places one hand on your back when you look at him with confusion written all over your face and pushes you towards jungkook, in your hurry to curse yoongi out loudly, you miss the way jungkook has his hands wrapped around your forearms to keep you steady as you almost fall into him, yoongi hasn’t missed it and he very much is enjoying this version of jungkook and you.
“just go and do the tattoo, you’re such a brat sometimes” yoongi grumbles and your mouth falls open as you punch him on the arm and he’s laughing at how frustrated you get, jungkook is watching the exchange with a smile of his own, sibling banter was always fun to watch.
“just go for fucks’ sake, he’s waiting, you can annoy me later” yoongi gives one last smirk to jungkook and leaves to the other side of the room, your glare softens by a lot as you look back at jungkook and point towards the back, gesturing him to follow you.
“my room is at the back, i only started a few weeks ago and i didn’t like doing it front of everyone” you explain, more like shout at him, over all the chaos littered around the shop, jungkook follows you carefully, being sure not to bump into you and he outright glares when someone slightly pushes you back.
after you enter the small room in the back, you walk around the room while rolling your sleeves up, it’s only then that jungkook notices all the tiny tattoos littered on your arm, you quietly gather the basic things you need and walk over to him with a small smile and jungkook notices how you have glasses on now.
you look cute.
“can i see that design?” you put your hand out and jungkook immediately places the paper in it, he watches with pursed lips as you look at it for a few seconds without saying anything, because that’s his design you’re holding and he really hopes that you like it because he’s quite sensitive about his art.
“i can tell why yoongi wants to hire you here” you grin as you take the design to your table to trace it and jungkook walks over as you sit down and start tracing, pushing your glasses up your eyes.
“yoongi hyung wants to hire me here?” he asks with wide eyes and you nod happily, then pointed to his design, it’s a simple but well-done design and that’s really what matters.
“who wouldn’t want to hire you when you draw like this?”
at your compliment, jungkook feels like he could fly and tries to stop himself from grinning like a mad man.
“do you want this exactly the same as it is?”
“yep, just how it is.” jungkook then takes a look around the room, and he feels like for someone who is complimenting his art, you are exceptionally good yourself, he hums lightly as his eyes skim over the designs you have pinned on a board.
right now, in his eyes, you are not only the most beautiful person he’s met, but also the most creative because some of these designs have him intrigued enough to have them on his own body.
“where do you want it jungkook?” your voice makes him jump a little and he turns back from the board.
“ah you were looking at my board” you put down the glasses, getting up from your seat and walking over to him, jungkook panics, what if your designs were personal to you and he just completely invaded your privacy by looking at them?
“i’m sorry, i really didn’t mean to peek around or anything, they just fascinated me” jungkook explains with guilt laced in his voice as he fiddles with his fingers and you giggle a little at his reaction.
“it’s totally okay, which one do you like by the way?” you look back at the board you’ve carefully curated and then at him with the same bright and curious eyes he loves.
yep, he could die a happy man right now.
“i can’t pick one, all of them are good” jungkook replies with his answer right away, looking away from the side of your face and back to the board.
“that’s one way to flatter a girl” you tease lightheartedly and jungkook’s cheeks flare up almost immediately. but jungkook doesn’t want you to think that he doesn’t appreciate your art or that he only wants to woo you.
“no, don’t take this the wrong way but i really am not trying to flatter you, all your designs are so precise and detailed but still very unique and fresh, that is something i want with my designs, i want to learn from you.” his answer is honest and with no doubt at all, and for the first time, jungkook isn’t nervous in his actions or words, he’s more than confident in his compliment, he knows he means every word.
you almost do a double take at his words, no one has shown such respect to your art, sure you knew yoongi respected it, he wouldn’t have hired you if he didn’t but you don’t get more than an approving nod from him when you show him the designs, but jungkook, oh god jungkook, he just said all the words you’ve been waiting to hear since you started to take art seriously and he doesn’t even know you all that well, but he seems to know exactly how to make you feel special.
“thank you, like genuinely thank you so much and i would love to help you any day, you just have to ask” you can’t help but feel immensely grateful to jungkook and his encouraging words, you feel a lot more motivated to continue doing this.
“you don’t have to thank me, just telling the truth, is all” he smiles down at you and this time, you’re the one who’s blushing and looking away. you clear your throat and tilt your head, hating how your insides seem to be warming up too.
“so, where do you want it?” you walk away from him to slap some gloves and put your glasses on again, jungkook is sure that his favorite thing in the world right now is you in those glasses.
“above the elbow” he answers and takes a seat on the chair, making himself comfortable by stretching a little and moving until he settles, you bring out rubbing alcohol and start cleaning the area, gulping a little at the size of his biceps, and how they seem to flex unconsciously from time to time, the funny thing is, jungkook doesn’t even seem to know how attractive he is.
“are you nervous?” you ask gently, eyes darting to his face so that you stop staring at his arms and jungkook smiles at you cockily.
“not at all” his response makes you smile, his confidence with tattoos is definitely something you admire because you were a whimpering mess even when you got your fifth tattoo done and that’s exactly what you tell jungkook.
“who did your tattoos?” jungkook darts his eyes to your arm and winces a little as you start dragging the needle across his pale skin, which quickly turns into the color of the ink and you silently apologize even if you’re getting paid for doing this.
“yoongi did most of them, some i did for me, one i got when i was drunk so i don’t remember who but yeah that’s it” you answer him and he keeps asking you questions about your art, how you started out, your family and conversation flows easily between you two, like you’ve known each other forever.
and that’s how jungkook feels about you, you don’t feel new to him at all, almost like he was waiting to meet you all his life and now that you are finally here, it feels right. it feels just right.
jungkook notices how your eyes perk up every time you answer a question, so he assumes you love talking and that’s perfect because jungkook doesn’t talk a lot, he’s happy to let you do all the talking.
but his shy nature doesn’t stop him from answering everything you ask. even when you’re done tattooing, and only cleaning and sealing is left, you both don’t stop talking.
and just as he’s telling you about his friends while you’re wrapping his elbow, he notices a tattoo on your collarbone that he didn’t notice before and it’s a strawberry, a fading red and green strawberry right on your collarbone, something that is only visible when your shirt drops down your clavicle.
“your tattoo” he trails off, eyes trained on it and you nod with a smile, pushing your collar a little more out of the way so he could see it clearly.
“a strawberry” a strawberry, just like the one on his elbow now.
when jungkook was raking his brain for ideas, strawberries and the teddy bear scent was all his mind were clouded with, and even if he didn’t know where you two would go or if you would be seeing each other again at all, meeting you was something he wanted to remember, just in a more subtle way.
the design is a bit different from yours but it’s the same red and green strawberry that is fresh on his body.
did he just unintentionally get a matching tattoo with you?
“i’ve just loved strawberries a lot growing up, i used to make strawberry tarts with my mom a lot, this is just like a reminder of my childhood but hey, we have the same tattoo now” you excitedly say, it was one of the reasons you were so pleased with his design, you knew exactly what you felt about jungkook and unlike him, you weren’t as scared of feeling the things you did.
just like how you felt right to him, he felt right to you.
you always thought the idea of destiny or fate was corny, lame even, it never seemed realistic to you because why would two people, two completely different people, meet just to become one?
but as much as jungkook feels right, he’s also proving you wrong silently with how he keeps making it feel like it was fate that you two would meet.
you remember the jitters you experienced when you first saw jungkook in the shop, and silently observed him from a distance because you were trying to get a grip on how one person can make you feel so new but old at the same time, you remember the wide grin he gave your brother as he wrapped his tattoo, being polite but playful and that was when you knew you had to see him again.
so, what did you do about that?
you took your friends to a very expensive bakery after finding out from your brother (you had to work for free for one week so that he could give up that information) that jungkook works there, and you didn’t do a good job at hiding your interest but it seemed like he didn’t either, you weren’t deaf, you heard the way jimin chastised him, you heard the mug break, and all that while, you tried to stop yourself from giving the world a gracious smile with how things fell into place.
and that is when you felt ‘the premonition of love’.
you were sure jungkook would be in your life somehow the first time you saw him, the second time, you were already in love and the third time, you were waiting for him to fall in love too.
and you didn’t have to wait any longer because with the way jungkook couldn’t take his eyes off you as you circle around him, blooms hope in your chest that maybe you’re not the only one in love here.
“do you feel it too?” jungkook questioned suddenly, making you pause in the middle of wrapping his arm, looking at him unsurely, was he talking about what you think he’s talking about?
“what, jungkook?” you look up at him with your hands still loosely holding his arm and right then, jungkook knows you feel the same way, your hands are slightly tightened around his skin and you’re looking at him with so much vulnerability and hope. he feels good that he’s not crazy like he thought he was. he feels even better that you like him just as much as he did you.
“when you said i feel like i know you, and i didn’t have a clue to who you were, i’ve literally never seen you, i would remember you if i did trust me, but you still felt like someone i’ve known forever, like we’re just meeting after waiting? and god i don’t even know how to explain but i just, the only thing i know is that i love you, if it’s the idea of you or just you but yeah i really like everything about-“ after you finally got to hear the words, you quickly silence him with a soft kiss on the cheek and it works wonderfully because jungkook swallows his words up and stares at you with his mouth agape.
“i feel the same way” you whisper carefully and your eyes widen, then flutter close in bliss when he pulls you into his arms and nuzzles his face into your neck and you sigh in happiness because there’s no where else in the world you would be. because for once, jungkook is not running from his feelings but running towards them. and you, you are just glad to hold him.
“i’ve been wanting to do this since the day i saw you” he mutters against your skin and your heart does several flips at his soft tone.
“me too” you whisper back to him and you tighten your arms around him, falling in love shouldn’t be this easy but with him, it was the easiest thing you’ve ever done and you both feel the magic twirling around you, the same magic jungkook’s been fascinated by, the same magic you’ve been waiting to hold and now, it’s wrapping you up into your own little world that you never want to escape.
and as it turns out, jungkook starts working for yoongi shortly after, much to yoongi’s joy and jimin’s despair, after jimin whines for the 100th time that he’s getting lonely, jungkook takes up a shorter shift at the bakery to satisfy the shorter man, he still breaks a glass or two when you surprise visit him there, he sneaks the expensive desserts to you without anyone knowing but it isn’t that easy to escape jimin’s eyes who all but kicks you two out every time he catches you.
since jungkook doesn’t like being around people either, he works with you in the back room, away from the rest of the world and your magic only grows stronger the more time you spend with him, there isn’t anything about jungkook that you don’t want to know, you want to know it all and he wants to know all of you, slowly but carefully, he wants to know all your stories, all your feelings and you don’t disappoint.
he learns from you, you learn from him, he admires your mind, you admire his ever growing enthusiasm for new things, it isn’t long before jungkook starts tattooing you and himself, walking into work becomes a lot less dreadful with jungkook’s beaming smile right in the morning.
and you love, you love and love until there’s nothing left in you but love.
koi no yokan.
a single phrase that describes you both beautifully and accurately. like a fairytale coming to life, that’s what it feels like, a fairytale you want to become one with.
namjoon, a person who seemingly has answers to everything, never got the answer as to why you both drifted off.
did you both grow out of love? no, it was evident in the quivering lips and glassy eyes when you saw each other for the last time that love indeed still persisted between you two.
did you grow out of each other? no, namjoon still strongly believes that you’re the most fascinating person he’s met and he remembers how you found his mind to be the brightest of them all.
maybe the love became too much at some point. maybe love just wasn’t enough.
he’ll never know.
but something went wrong.
and it went wrong very quickly, so quickly that namjoon couldn’t even give you the one thing he promised you he would.
a love letter.
“you know, for a world-renowned lyricist, and as that lyricist’s girlfriend, i’ve never gotten a letter from you” you teased him one rainy day and he remembers the breathless chuckle that left his lips.
“do you want one?” he fiddled with your fingers that were held in his hand.
“a letter from the kim namjoon? there’s nothing else i want more” and even as the sky crackled behind the windows, and rain continuously beat them, you both could only look at each other. you looked at each other like ‘damn the rest of the world, i only have eyes for you’.
and that’s when namjoon decided that he was going to write you a letter alright, he was going to write you the best letter ever.
namjoon stared blankly at the words scribbled on the page, frowning every so often, his words were, to put it in one way, powerful. he didn’t know he was capable of feeling such strong emotions but he did know that you brought out the best in him. and the best of him was spilled on this one page that was still half empty.
namjoon felt just as empty.
he wasn’t near breaking down or crying himself to sleep, but namjoon wasn’t happy, he couldn’t deny this hollowness in his chest that’s been lingering for days now and he doesn’t need anyone else to tell him that it was because of you, he knows it. namjoon knows it all except, like mentioned before, why you both ended it but it was an unwritten realization, that it was for the best.
another thing namjoon doesn’t know is why he grabs his favorite pen, the pen he uses to write his famous lyrics, he got a new one for the album they’re working on now and starts filling in the empty space, almost feeling like he was filling himself with the emotions that he misses so dearly.
namjoon was going to give you that letter.
even if you might not want it anymore.
-
it’s been almost a year since you’ve seen namjoon and it felt like time was cruel enough to make that year feel like an eternity. it both felt like just yesterday that you and namjoon were visiting museums together and also like forever since you’ve both cuddled in whenever the weather got worse.
and you don’t know if it was good or bad that you still remember everything.
you remember how he carefully used to handle things that belonged to you because he knew you cherished them, he still broke a few but it’s the effort that counts, how you used to nap in his studio whenever it got too long and always woke up with a blanket wrapped around you, how you both used to skip around parks and also the time namjoon taught you how to finally ride a bike.
you stupidly remember it all.
you were quite sure namjoon had forgotten about you and moved on because you were just a chapter in his story that still had a long way to go. you didn’t blame him, you were trying to forget him as well, it’s just he was probably successful in forgetting you and you weren’t as successful as you’d like to be.
but to your surprise, you came home to a letter in your mailbox. you never get letters, so this left you more than a little curious as you turned the dainty lilac-colored envelope in your hand to reveal an all too familiar handwriting scribbled on top.
‘from: kim namjoon’
you expected a lot of things from namjoon but none of them came close to the letter that you held in your hand. and you couldn’t help the way your heart seemed to skip a beat only to shatter on the ground a minute later. it dawned on you that it could be a goodbye letter, and you hated goodbyes. but namjoon had never liked loose ends, he liked his endings to make just as sense as the beginnings, so you probably shouldn’t have been too surprised that he sent it.
you slowly set down your belongings and walked into your house, placing the letter on table, staring at it for a little, wondering if opening it will only hurt you more or not.
but did you even care if it will hurt?
all you’ve been this year, is hurt.
all you’ve felt this year, is hurt.
so, what’s one more letter? and he bothered enough to send it all the way to where you’ve moved. so yeah, you will read it. you could feel goosebumps rising on your skin as your fingers lightly grazed the paper, admiring his handwriting, namjoon has always had such beautiful writing.
you hastily tore open the envelope and turned it upside down, a single piece of paper, which was neatly folded fell out on the ground, you sat down next to it and with shaky fingers, you started reading the words of the man you used to love, you still love, so much.
to the love of my life, (you still are)
9/10/19
today, with beaming eyes and a happy smile on your face, you jokingly asked me for a letter and who am i to deny you? even with the breaking sky above us, you managed to make me feel like the lightest cloud floating in it and with that, i start this letter, a bare heart and with a hope that my pen doesn’t run out and also that you won’t find it, this is my little surprise to you. i will write it, day-by-day, on days i especially thank the world for giving me you so i hope as the girlfriend of world-renowned lyricist kim namjoon, that you find this satisfactory.
i love you.
19/10/19
i came back to this paper after promising that i will wait for a bit to finish it but you have me breaking all of the promises i’ve made for myself, one of them being don’t fall in love until you’re ready and i was never ready for you and the stars you’ve aligned for us.
but i’m still in love, and i don’t mind it at all.
you woke me up just in time for me to make it to work and because i was in such a hurry, you took over the one duty that i have, breakfast.
at first, i felt guilty that even if you were rushing to get to work, you still didn’t get mad at me for not waking up earlier, you just gave me a sleepy grin when i thanked you. and then i tried looking at it in a more positive light, you work hard for yourself and me and i’m grateful.
i’m grateful to you, even if it is something as simple as breakfast, i’m grateful. and i will start waking up earlier, i want to do more for you.
i love you.
11/11/19
today, we went to pottery together!
and we didn’t manage to make anything and it wasn’t a surprise to either of us because our pots broke even before they could get toasted in the oven. it was just us, a private class in the middle of a forest and there was a mild drizzle of rain from the sky. and now as i write this, i realize whenever it rains, i fall more in love with you, the idea of you and everything about you.
i decided to write again today because it was a wonderful day, we laughed a lot and we smeared a lot of clay on our face and you had the nerve to call my pot a masterpiece.
y/n, as much as i appreciate your kind soul, my pot literally looked like shit.
and you laughing right after you said that it was a masterpiece, kind of gave away the fact that you didn’t mean it.
but i’ll let it go because you looked cute. you always look cute.
and oh look, you’re calling me for dinner, i will come back to this again.
i love you.
22/1/20
you weren’t yourself today but that’s okay, we all have our days, it did hurt when you didn’t let me hug you but again, i understand. you had a difficult day and i wish i could take all your pain away, all your troubles, i wish i could burn them to the ground and not even let the ashes remain.
but i can’t do that.
i can only watch you lie to me that you aren’t crying, that you are okay.
i hope you know that you don’t have to lie, never to me.
i can see the tears on your face, i’m sorry i’m not strong enough to come and wipe them away, i’m scared that you’ll only go further away from me. and to me, you’re lost today. i hope you find your way back to me. i will wait with open arms.
i love you.
22/2/20
love is as deep as a sea, i remember reading that in a book. and i didn’t fully realize the meaning till i met you.
everything has made sense since i’ve met you. and it’s true, love is like a sea, i keep discovering new things about it every day, i keep discovering all these habits of yours, i’ve started speaking in the way you do and even the members have noticed, they haven’t stopped teasing me since this afternoon, even right now, they’re hovering around me and trying to read this letter but don’t worry, i have it out of their view, this is only our little secret.
you came to the studio, you brought all of us food and drinks with that grin on your face that i love so much, the members immediately bounced to you and that is when i saw how perfectly fit in my life, from my view, you, and the members, are my family. and my family is so lovely.
what did i ever do in my life to have all of you in it?
okay jungkook’s getting nosy, let me stop here.
i love you.
16/4/21
so, it really is over.
i don’t have it in me to say it’s okay or it’s all right.
because it’s not.
i’ve never been a good liar, i couldn’t hide about how i felt about you then and i can’t do it now.
y/n, i’m exhausted, your face used to be the first thing i saw every day when i woke up and somehow, even on the worst days, that was enough for me to pull through because i could fall asleep next to it.
i can’t do that anymore, and even if it’s been a year, it’s just sinking in for me now.
but i’m dealing. i feel empty but i am not totally miserable. the members don’t say it but they miss you too, they keep looking at me sadly but they’re also cheering me up, don’t worry about them or me too much.
i’m sending you this because i couldn’t keep a promise even if i tried when we were together so i want to make up for it, i’m keeping this one promise, i hope it’s worth it.
sad to say this, but my pen did run out, this is a new pen, it’s a little gritty but it works, and i don’t know why i’m telling you this but the pen i started the letter with lasted just as long as we did, so now, i see that as our hourglass, i just wish it hadn’t run out so quickly. i hope i got to say i love you to you one last time before it ran out. it’s all useless now anyway.
but even if it hurts, even if i haven’t moved on, i’m happy.
i’m happy i got to know someone with a mind as beautiful as yours.
i’m happy i spent my days loving you. because loving you is bigger than any award i’ll hold.
i hope you look back at us with fondness and not regret.
and i hope you move on and someone else loves you, maybe love you better than i did because you deserve it, you deserve all the good in the world. i’m sorry i couldn’t give it to you.
but remember me, yeah?
i love you.
the end,
from your kim namjoon.
the letter has smudged ink near the end, from both his and your tears and you desperately re-read the letter again, like you were grasping to any pieces that were left of you two. it slightly crumbles from how tight your grip was on it.
and this isn’t the story in which you run after him to get back with him after you read this, you don’t go knocking on his door waiting for him to answer and then finally fall into his arms to end your pain and his.
no, this is the story in which you clutch the cream-colored paper to your heart and silently cry your eyes out because the worst realization of reaching the end of it was, both that it was the last words that you’ll ever hear from namjoon and also that no one would love you like he did.
he will remain as that one beautiful chapter in your story that you’ll go back to visit every now and then, only to cry at the ending.
and you feel a bitter gratefulness that you got to experience a part of your life with him so you don’t mind that it hurts, you’ll kiss this chapter a sweet goodbye.
but you have your own loose ends; you have your own feelings that need to be spilled. you feel like you will explode if you don’t close this chapter in your story. you might just never finish moving on to the next one if you don’t. you too, have a lot to say even if you two are over.
so, you grab a pen, hover over your desk with a faint dangling light above you, a small smile dances on your lips and you start writing to him,
a/n: hello yes 911? i would like to cRY about this damn fucking ask because how on earth am i supposed to choose between these i’m in tears aaaaa this is an absolute mess i cannot function at all this is far too much to handle too many body parts i am a tiny human being
The hunter that waits upon the porch of the silent cottage must be no older than twenty, though his face is still that of a young boy, rather than a man. Small yet sturdy in stature, his cheeks are plump, lips full and resting into a natural pout with eyes of simmering amber that are wide almonds, the lids heavy though lacking presence of any lethargy. As he mindlessly lays pressure onto the balls of his feet, in turn, oscillating his body in the rocking chair, the gloss of his chestnut hair shimmers within the grey, overcast light of the early morning, the fringe flopping into his line of gaze as he lurches forward, yet drifting away like fine silk once he pushes back. A crossbow is loose upon his lap, fingertips gingerly stroking the lacquered foregrip and stock as though the limbs are his own. He is one with the weapon.
In truth, you should slaughter him, drink him absolutely dry and pick your teeth with the splinters of his bones. It would be an easy kill, swift and quiet, not a soul would notice, nor hear his screams in such a secluded slice of the woods. Not even Jeongguk, who must be at least four towns away by now. But although the insatiable hunger that claws iron blades at your insides, shredding you to ribbon from within, your canines refuse to sharpen, nails remaining to be bitten little ovals instead of extending into claws that can carve through metal as if it were butter, because, for a man of his kind, he is rather beautiful.
Hunters are usually rugged, unkempt beasts with scars of pearl lining their skin and murderous desire swallowing their eyes. Maybe it is the fresh youth that swells so preciously in his features or the natural casualness that caresses his form into one without intent to harm, but there is certainly something about him that encourages you to let his heart continue on beating – almost as though he deserves it.
Mindlessly, the branch that you observe him from cracks beneath your weight, and in such a serene atmosphere, it sounds like gunfire.
In his seat, he suddenly stiffens, chin cocking upward and his drooping eyes only widening just slightly, enough to survey the bland surroundings of the mostly decayed woods. The soft flesh of his lips part, the sound of the separation followed by a terse gust of air being swallowed into his lungs.
“I can sense you, monster. Show yourself!”
Without much deliberation, you drop from the branch, landing effortlessly on your booted feet in a tall, defenceless stance rather than a crouch. You do not want to be intimidating, you feel no necessity to fight, no urge to run, all the more so when he stands from the rocking chair, crossbow loaded and poised, aimed straight at your heart.
Even with instinct straightening his spine, broadening his shoulders with an almost unsure confidence as he levels the weapon to his eye, the other squinting shut to allow clarity for focus, you find him absolutely harmless.
“Any last words?”
His voice is lovely, you fondly notice. The kind of vocals that are made for singing, softer than the usual tone of a grown man, sweet nonetheless. You wish you were hearing this for the remainder of eternity rather than the blunt, hard edge of dead notes that crawl like a disease out of Jeongguk’s throat.
You shrug. “Not really, but I’m curious, why are you all alone?”
At that, he genuinely appears caught by surprise, as if he never knew such a monster would be capable of quaint conversation. His stance wavers, an opportunity that any other vampire would take to sink their fangs into human flesh, but the deep intrigue that grazes your every nerve is enough to suffice the beast that writhes in your stomach.
He swallows, his throat bobbing so violently that it appears to be a being of its own existence, yet no temptation festers in your heart, no crimson fingers claw in a vicious haze at the edges of your vision. Not yet, at least.
“I’m not,” his brow pinches at the centre, and it transforms his face entirely, hardening the angles. “Why would you say that?”
Deeply, you inhale through your nostrils, closing your eyes for no more than three seconds, the perfect gap for him to take the advantage and fire an arrow. But, if anything, the sole sound that you hear is his hands loosening, only slightly, on the weapon. When your lashes drift back apart, you try a smile, his joints appearing to seize up with shock at the sight.
“There is a scent about you,” you slowly begin, your gaze drifting down to the dirt in an attempt to appear less stoic, more of a human than a monster, “that is thick, like a dense fog, and acquires the similar heady dampness of one. I’ve noticed it on many beings, ones who have lost all that they have, and some who still have so much – yet within them, there is nothing.
“No, you are not alone in a physical sense. I can tell, I can hear them in the town right now. There is three, isn’t there? Your brothers, perhaps, who forced you into this way of living. But here–” Your palm places itself over your chest, greeted by a hollow echo of emptiness– “Isolation lives fiercely, it swallows up your heart. You may be surrounded by others, though within, you could not be more alone.”
As your sentence trails dimly into the air between you, the hunter is completely stunned silent. The crossbow that he held so equanimously now resides unguarded at his hip, the plush of his lips parted in an awed gape and truly, you remain to feel no desire to tear him to shreds and stain the earth with his blood. The fragility of his heart races a marathon against his ribs, though it is not one of fear, rather it is unadulterated realisation, acceptance.
Akin before, he gulps before he speaks, yet the movement is much gentler. “Are you truly one of them? If so, why are you telling me this, why aren’t you just killing me off?”
At that, you tilt your head to gaze into the woods, the spindly tree trunks, lacking much leafage, stick nakedly out of the ground, exposed and bare. From this distance, you cannot catch any notion of Jeongguk and his vile existence, a calming sentiment that swells comfortably within you.
“Because, you and I, young hunter, we are terribly the same,” you breathe, gradually returning your stare to his warm eyes of crackling flame. “I never wished for this life, and now I am roped up with two monsters – the one that lives inside of me and feels no necessity to kill you, and the other that I am constantly running from. Now, is it suitable that I ask you of your name?”
The hunter, for what seems to be the first time in years in the way that it falters before it fully develops like colour film, smiles with sheer divinity. It is a sight that would knock the breath out of any mundane, and even for you, it elicits an unusual warmth to hum gently across your bones, a sensation that makes you feel beyond too human to compare. The view of the crescent moon that births upon his lips fully encourages the monster to evade you, and you have never felt so pure, so clean of any blood that you once consumed, any death that you once lavishly bathed in.
“Park Jimin,” he, Park Jimin, speaks, and it is a name that you know, in centuries, you will never forget. It is engraved by his roughened, yet careful fingertips into your ribs, right above where a vessel once thrummed. “Would it be so rude to ask you what your own is?”
Visiting Jimin becomes a fortnightly habit, out of your own selfishness to feel human, or an uncanny desire to fulfil his silent desperation to not be alone, you cannot quite decipher. Though, for the both of you, it is a slice of time that is cherished, never once hurried or demanded. The visitations occur in the early mornings, always, when his brothers are out of the cottage, which slumbers like a wooden giant amongst the trees, the only sound escaping it being the creak of the rocking chair swaying underneath Jimin’s weight as he patiently anticipates your arrival. While you are there, whether it is for ten minutes or two hours, you exchange stories about your individual lifetimes – his, only stretching back a few years, whereas your own thread through numerous decades.
Jeongguk does not question, nor argue your regular disappearances. Because although they are happening in greater frequency, it is nothing out of the ordinary for you to be escaping his presence as often as you can. If anything, he stops prying about where you are leaving him to. Maybe, as long as you are not wreaking a bloodbath havoc that could wind the both of you up as dead, he does not care.
Maybe, that should have been the first sign that these encounters, this friendship, was doomed from the beginning.
Although it is nearing six in the morning, light is already gathering among the shadows of the prior night, consuming them into day. The air is crisp against your bare arms as you run, weaving between the trees at a speed unimaginable, knowing you could navigate this route with your eyes closed, it is that familiar. You come to a halt at the porch steps, not at all out of breath, just as Jimin opens the flywire screen and strolls out of the cottage with that same smile, the one that makes you feel as though you are coming home.
Something heavy chokes in your throat as you approach, because you know that today will most likely be goodbye – if not for good, it will be a very long time indeed. Jeongguk had spoken word two weeks ago of traversing to the mountains on the other side of the country, at least five days away on your own feet – all this time in between, you had been preparing yourself to sever the ties with the only friend that you have ever known.
“You’re up early,” Jimin jests, eyes curving deeper at his own hilarity and you cannot help but grin. Vampires sleeping, what an absolute joke!
“Couldn’t sleep,” you respond with the raise of an eyebrow, lacing your fingers at the base of your spine as you glide up onto the wooden planks, sitting down when Jimin props up a chair beside his own. “How have you been?”
“Good enough, a fortnight without seeing you felt a little extensive, but I coped,” Jimin sighs as he unwinds into the rocking chair, giving it a few experimental pushes before relaxing into a rhythm. He tilts his chin to the side, staring bluntly at you. “Murder many people in your time away?”
If your blood were not black and your cheeks had the capability to flush, they certainly would be doing so now. “You can’t just say something like that! How awfully morbid.”
“Says the one who drinks the blood of my kind.”
“Be careful, you might be next.” But the threat is completely empty, and he knows that entirely by the way a sharp bark of laughter escapes him, as if to say: You wish, monster.
Silence embraces the both of you, welcomed comfortably. Jimin breathes with the stead of a calm tide, waves rushing without urgency onto a shore, drawing back with tranquil leisure. His heart beats like a bird slicing its wings through the wind, only occasionally having to flutter for the current keeps it afloat. As a being, he is entirely serene, without any intent to hurt although the lifestyle that his family thrust upon him – he might be trained, but he is no born killer.
You break it to him gently, as if the wrong placement of a word will force his porcelain skin to splinter and he will shatter into a thousand pieces at your feet.
“Jimin, I think this might be the last time I get to see you.” The words shudder out of your lungs, quaking gently with the despise of who is forcing them out of you. “We’re headed for the mountains, it’s becoming too dangerous for us to stay here. This is the longest we have ever resided in a particular area, and it’s proving to become difficult.
“But I want you to know that this, visiting you, has made me feel more human than I did when I was truly alive – long before I was a monster. If I could, I would stay by your side, but I can’t let him find you, I can’t–”
“Please, don’t cry,” Jimin whispers, and it is only then that you realise you are. The tears stream hotly down your cheeks, and you cannot tell if you are terrified of abandoning his side or leaving behind how wholly human you are when he smiles at you.
Jimin, with the utmost care and precision, lays his hand atop your own, the first physical contact that the pair of you have ever made, and suddenly, at the warmth that tucks itself between your knuckles from his palm, crimson forcefully lurches into your vision as if the monster within you was waiting for the precise moment to remind you of what you truly are.
He barely blinks in the time that you rip your hand away, confusion blooming on his features as there is a shift in the wind, a breeze that was nonexistent when you arrived, which can only mean one thing and you only realise once it is too late.
The pungency of Jeongguk overwhelms your senses, and all that was human about you is torn out from underneath your feet like a rug.
There is a dull thud, Jimin’s head is finely severed and his body crumples backwards before you can even scream. His limbs, for a sparse second, twitch and writhe, the muscles seizing up as the crimson seeps into the grain of the porch, staining it in his death all the while Jeongguk gently sways in the rocking chair, sucking his fingers clean of innocent blood.
A rage you have never known lights up every nerve in your body, forcing you to leap on the monster and tear at his skin, all the while he sits and observes, unbothered. With an unusual patience, Jeongguk allows you to screech incoherent profanities and have at him until your claws start to press between his ribs, searching for something that is no longer there, and only then does he stand to action, grabbing you by the throat and dragging you off the porch, kicking and screaming, continuing to do so even when he slams you against the thick girth of a trunk with enough force to make the bark crack.
“How– How could you?!” You uselessly shriek, nails dragging at his knuckles that wrap all the firmer around your throat. “He was harmless, Jeongguk! How couldyou?!”
“It’s irrevocable, the ties between us monsters and the hunters,” Jeongguk placidly speaks, squeezing your neck tighter before releasing it, staring down at you with barely controlled rage as you crumple to the ground, “it can never be changed, we can never be allies. They will always hunt us, and we will forever hunt them. Start accepting that you can never be like that scum – you can never be human again.”
Like taking off a mask, something about his demeanour shifts when he sighs and crouches between your knees, a palm gingerly coming up to caress the side of your face, wiping at the furious tears, and you cannot find it in yourself to flinch away. Not even when his thumb, stained with the blood of your friend, presses against your lips. The way he looks at you is as if he is dealing with a distressed child.
“Now, aren’t you hungry, darling?” Jeongguk murmurs, using his free hand to tuck your hair behind your ear. The tip of your tongue tastes honey sweet, your stomach burns in a wildfire as the voluminous stench of death protrudes the atmosphere. You try to deny it, be rid of her, but the contact from before still lingers like an infestation upon your hand, swells greater as Jimin spills all of his human purity out of the opening cut clean across his neck. “He’s still fresh, he won’t go off for an hour or two, you know that. We’ve got a big trip ahead of us.”
It is akin a parasite taking over, where your entire body goes numb and any shred of conscience is smothered to the shadows. The fangs slide out of your gums, your chest cracks open, relenting to the irremediable truth of what Jeongguk had spoke. You never cared about the hunter, you only took pleasure in the way that he made you feel.
The monster grins, because deep down, she has always wondered what the heart of a friend must taste like.
The water blasts scalding hot and fails to boil your marble skin. Often, you wish that it would sear the flesh, sizzle its way through the muscle, right to the bone where it melts the joints and marrow, reduces you to nothing but a carcass although such a term is quite accurate to describe you as you are now. A shell without a beating heart, inattentive to the one that trails at your heels like a shadow, just as dark and malicious.
Monsters and lovers are precisely alike, you see.
“Jeongguk,” is all that you breathe, and even the exhalation of his name is enough to lure the creature, the bathroom suddenly feeling too cramped. Slowly, you turn, and he is there, no misty glass separating heartless bodies, the shower door already having creaked open. The stench of copper is fresh.
“What’s wrong?” His dark eyes never stray from your own, do not seek solace in the swell of your breasts, nor the droplets that slip down the curve of your hip. Blood is gathered in the corners of his thinned lips, smeared across his jaw, painting the tips of his fingers as though he had them dipped between exposed intestines just moments ago. Such a concept would not be entirely surprising, he is becoming rather creative with his methods as of late.
“Kill me,” you try, but it never works, the answer already lifting in the arch of his left brow. “Don’t look at me like that. What’s stopping you?”
“Why would I make you, just to kill you?” Jeongguk remains indifferent, tongue burying into the scarlet honey residue that sticks to the grooves of his lips. “What a waste of all these years. I thought you were over such a childish perspective.”
Nails cut into a palm, thick ink dripping down the drain with the water and something in his expression falters. He hates to see you harm the flesh of your being so carelessly, though it is the simply mouthwatering perfume of your own blackened blood that has his pupils blown, attention scattered. A lightweight drunk, he collapses into the trap with full awareness that it is there.
“I thought you liked to give me what I wanted?”
At that, he takes a single stride forward and clasps at your bleeding hand, not minding the shower as it soaks the front of his charcoal shirt, pasting his raven hair against his forehead. His mouth is a ghost against your palm, unsure whether he is just being gentle or you are too familiar with him touching you like this, experienced enough in the art of ignorance to pretend that his hands and lips are air. Saliva gathers in your half moon wounds, the cells threading back together but a dull prick fourfold, Jeongguk observing the way in which the water droplets unfurl down your nose, cheeks, chin, all the while. His tongue drags all the way to the tip of your forefinger, coated in remnants of black before he drops your hand to hang loosely by your side. The wounds are healed but your situation never is.
“I don’t know what you want,” Jeongguk sighs, wipes water out of his eyes simply for movement, rather than genuine irritation. “You are more of a labyrinth than a monster. A puzzle. Unsolvable. Pain in my ass.”
“Pain in your ass, huh?” You repeat his words, and this time, you are the one clutching for his hand, pressing the fingertips right against the skin where on anybody else, a beat would drum. “Go on then, bastard. You know you can free yourself of such a burden by doing this, just push hard enough and you can rip my heart out. My ashes will wash down the drain.”
Though instead of commanding to the fruitless demand, his fingertips drift northward, trace a collarbone, over the pearl white scarring that his fangs drove through once warm skin, up and up until they can outline the shape of your lips and his gazes gathers something mildly akin to warmth, if it were not so selfish. Jeongguk tilts your chin and you let him, he dips his mouth and you let him, his tongue parts the seam of your lips and you let him, you let him, you let him, because you of all beings know that you can stop him – but he knows that you never will. He likes to think that deep down, the abomination that he created loves him, though maybe the miserable thing is just too tired.
A voice sighs into your mouth. “Don’t be so morbid.”
He tastes like a human freshly dead, the ashy smoke of your essence sucked between the fissures of his teeth for safe keeping because you always taste best to him. No palms roam your skin, no shirt falls to a sopping heap at your feet, no contact or intimacy outside of the connection of your lips barely moving against on another because no, that is not what this is for. Jeongguk kisses you as though he is searching for a truth or a hidden key that lays beneath your tongue, an answer that solves the one thousand questions that dwell within his mind because he is right in saying that you are a labyrinth, and he is damn well far from receiving the solution that leads to your centre.
Though, for the briefest of moments, you indulge him.
You know that he adores your fangs, honing a sick infatuation with the monster that resides in your stomach and reaps whole villages into a sea of scarlet, and so you let them slip out to graze at his bottom lip, to puncture and bring forth the acrid flavour of his soul. The reaction to this is absolutely startling, for he goes completely still, only momentarily, until the fingertips that had traced your lips draw away to delicately hold the side of your face, an action to possess – but you pretend that it is to caress and care. The tip of his tongue slips against your own, sliding across your teeth, purposefully impaling itself upon the tips of your canines so that more of his taste can coat the back of your throat. When you drop your walls for the slightest of moments, his blood tastes like oak and firewood, almost near pleasant.
It is not so bad. He is not all that bad. The thought tastes like acid bubbling on the tip of your tongue but you are beyond used to poisonous ideas and touches that feel like the edges of machetes.
When Jeongguk pulls away, rubies and ink freshly dripping down his chin, he leans toward you once more to lick up the mess that is already cleaning in the water. But he does it anyway, lidded gaze observing the dilated pupils that watch him placidly all the while. It is then, no longer than a brief second in time where the both of you observe up close, that the shower is hot against dead flesh, there is a flutter that brushes against your ribs from within. You are too inattentive to notice.
Nails against your skin. Nails within your stomach. Nails over there on the asphalt painted with a red polish that resembles the shade that trickles like honey from the glass splinters and cuts on the remainder of the hand, the body. Jeongguk had not expected this, you had not expected this, how could you when time and fate had such a coexistence, a romance that twists and turns, makes love before your eyes when you least expect?
Three are already dead, two barely breathing in the remnants of the mangled vehicle. The scene is washed in a sea of red and blue, flashing with insistence, persistence, from police and ambulances and firefighters, all working as one to pry the two still breathing figures, with their wide eyes and shattered bones, from the metal cage that is warped around them.
And Jeongguk is working as one, always, from the very moment he had decided to enact his most selfish of deeds, to keep you at bay.
The pair of you are glued to the very spot where you initially saw the first car skid past on its side. The crowds were dense, immediately rushing to witness the sight while you and Jeongguk were inevitably plunged into a wall of flesh and bone, of blood, blood, blood. God you could smell it everywhere, red rolling over your tongue, causing the ever-present hunger in your stomach to pierce, slice, cut at your very insides in a desperate urge to feast. One body had been separated from the metal cage and you can hear the heart of the other feebly beating, urgently pumping the very sustenance of life through veins that you crave to sink your teeth into.
Jeongguk has his mouth right by your ear. It is not a necessity, he can breathe beneath the sound level from over a mile away and you would hear every word he speaks, enunciated perfectly. But now, it feels as though he is attempting to make this situation as human as possible.
“Listen to me,” He pronounces slowly, calm, underlying with a threat. “We need to get out of here. Any kind of fuck up and we are done, there are too many people to see us, and all of those policemen are trained hunters. They would drop the ball on those two humans just to have a chance at killing us, you hear?”
It sounds as though he is speaking beneath water – blood. When you absently nod, the crimson shimmers beneath the street lamp, winking at you. Come have a taste.
“Stop flaring your nostrils, you look like a fucking animal,” Jeongguk growls, the nails in your wrist breaking the skin, but they are butterfly wings compared to the razor blades that carve at your dried up insides. “Now, we need to push past the people behind us at a human pace– Y/N, fucking looking at me!”
The navy night sky becomes a glimmering shade of red. The orange lights pooling over the bystanders now washing their skin with crimson. When you gaze down at your hands, they too are a beautiful shade of the colour you can taste on the tip of your tongue, rolling around in the best possible form of sin, delicious velvet. You salivate, canines lengthening with fervency, the dead man sprawled a few metres from the rolled car staring at you with his lifeless eyes, beckoning you towards his intestines that are spilled in lovely pink streamers across the bitumen. He is getting colder with every passing second, how silly would you be to waste him? A foot moves forward, an arm yanks back, a mouth crashes to your own and then all you can taste is pepper, tar, biting at your tongue and making you reel back in disgust, sucking the red right out of your vision in an instant.
Jeongguk chuckles bitterly after you abruptly yank away, wiping his mouth on his sleeve before pulling you firmly back into his side. An arm of steel wraps around your shoulders, locks your bones against his own in such a way that you wish to shove him off again, but then he is twisting you both around and marching you out of the crowd. You can still smell the blood as though it is wedged into the crevices of your nose, craning your head back over your shoulder to peek at the delicious meal prepared so delightfully for you, quite literally having rolled right to your feet less than fifteen minutes ago. But Jeongguk is quick to grab your chin and forcefully bury your face into his chest, a frail defense of cotton invading your senses, distorting the aroma of bloody maple that makes your toes curl and your talons itch, the insatiable hunger screaming at you because – Who cares? Who cares! Just kill them all!
The mouth of an alleyway opens up on the left, swallowing you both in shadows. Jeongguk should have let you go by now, except he does not, and his mouth is back on your own again and you are screaming, writhing against him in displeasure. He tastes awful, petrol and fumes, utterly overwhelming in the worst of ways as your tongue is coated in the foul, vampiric saliva of him. But he holds onto you, persists through your thrashing until your canines tear at his mouth, bleeding more tar onto your dirtied palate.
“What the fuck!” You roar, shoving him back with enough force for his shoulder blades to crumble the bricks of the wall where he lands. He cracks his neck before stepping forward again, wiping away the black that pours from his chin on the back of his hand, palms of steel then wrapping around your jaw and taking your lower lip between his teeth until you knee him in the stomach. “The fuck do you think you are doing?!”
Jeongguk grunts but keeps his hold on your face, staring fiercely into your eyes. “What colour is the sky?”
“Fuck off–”
“Tell me!”
You bite your lip, lowly whining at the way his fingertips dig in your flesh yet again, threatening to break through to the bone. “Black.”
“And your hands?”
“… Clean.”
Jeongguk releases you then and you scramble back, staring defensively at him before spitting his taste onto the ground. By the time you have scraped your nails over your tongue to be rid of the disgusting flavour, shaking saliva from your fingertips, the monster who made you is turning on his heel and stalking off.
“Let’s go. You need to feed before you decide to rip apart an entire crowd in a blink again, fucking amateur.”
You scowl out of bitter despise at his departing shadow before the realisation settles into your very being of what he had just managed to do. No matter if it were against your own will or the fact that it occurred for only the briefest of moments, he had still superintended the halt, the cessation.
Jeongguk, for a split second in time, had made you forget about the hunger.
Prompt:When you discuss a time of your life when Yoongi was still a star, and he interjects with a memory of you from when you were younger, though he has still not told you yet of the fact that he has watched over you since you were born.
The kitchen is overwhelmed by the mouthwatering aroma of roast beef, steaming away while you continue to marinate vegetables in olive oil and herbs, tossing them in a tray to join the sizzling meat in the oven. Yoongi, all the while, follows you at the heels like a lost puppy, watching with amusement and interest as you cook for the pair of you, showing him how to cut an onion, peel a carrot. In the meantime, you speak of a past that he knows all too well about after having watched over you since you were a little baby, but that is something you are still yet to learn. You only know that he had granted your wishes, sprinkled you with pinches of luck, not that he had clapped his hands in a nebula when you took your first steps, had watched you through happiness and hardships.
“God, my parents were close to putting me up for adoption at that age,” You sigh, continuing your story about how you were the definition of Satan at the age of four, embodied in little limbs and a constant scowl. “If I was not having a tantrum at the centre of a supermarket, I was either breaking something or wreaking havoc into the sunset.”
Yoongi chuckles, leaning against the counter and staring up at the splintering cracks in the ceiling, recalling the fond memory. “I remember that you were a tiny storm. But although you made yourself out to be the reincarnation of the devil himself, your parents still loved you.”
At that, you halt the process of wiping your hands on the tea towel, instead staring at your silver haired boy with sudden scrutiny, eyebrows pinching together. Realising what he just accidentally spilled, Yoongi snaps his eyes away from the plaster and averts his gaze to you, wide like a deer caught in headlights.
You place your hands on your hips and he tries to not laugh at how ironic the posture is, resembling the child of the story you were only just sharing. “How do you know that?”
“What?”
“What did you just say?”
“Nothing.”
“Yoongi!”
He pinches your side as a method of distraction, making you yelp and bat him away with a floundering hand, a pretty pout forming on your lips that he wants to kiss. So he does, a much more efficient procedure to take your mind off the reminiscence that had fallen from his tongue, the memories he supposedly should know nothing of.
“Yoongi,” You groan into his mouth, feebly attempting to push his roaming hands away. “Confess your sins.”
“Right now,” He grins, flicking open the button of your jeans and quickly unzipping them. “I am sinning right now, little human.”
You should stop him, attempt to weasel the truth out of the stardust boy. But when he is touching you like that, making you quite literally see galaxies painted across the backs of your eyelids, oh – how could you ever hold him back?
Prompt:When you do something adorable and it has Yoongi absolutely glowing with happiness, because that is what stars do, is it not?
Sleep is a foreign concept to a man who once never laid his head to rest, forever wide-eyed and watching a girl immerse herself in an activity that held her in a world of dreaming for hours on end. It takes Yoongi some time to adjust, finding that his human body gradually becomes weighted with lethargy once a full day has stretched by, encouraging him to climb between crisp white sheets and you, wrapping his limbs around your cosy warmth and the aroma of lavender that would come from his nose nestling into your neck. But although it were a newfound luxury that he had thoroughly started to adore indulging in, he often found that watching you sleep was more rewarding than closing his own eyes.
The sunlight this morning catches your skin ethereally, painting it with golden glow and rather making you appear as the celestial. Your lips are softly pouted, dried out roses that puff patient exhalations of air in time with the gentle rise and fall of your chest. An occasional stir grapples your limbs, has your fingers curling feebly through the air, thighs shifting against one another and nudging your knees to his own. You look so beautiful, his human, with hair tangled in braids of sleep, spread across the pillow like a storm that he finds himself wishing to be lost in, consumed by.
As though he were thinking too loudly, disturbing your slumber, your lashes start to peel lethargically apart. Only half awake, your glazed, bleary eyes find him before your spine arches in a stretch, coming down into an adorable yawn.
“Yoongi…” You mumble, rubbing the heel of your palm into your sleepy eye before you bring it up to his cheek, smoothing your thumb across the brightly shimmering freckles that are splayed there. “You are shining brighter than the sun, and it’s only eight in the morning.”
What you had thickly spoke was true, for his skin is glimmering a beautiful shade of silver, his stardust hair glowing, the strands drifting slightly in the still air. He smiles down at you, and even his pearl white teeth seem to shine, basking you in an ethereal light that has you drawing your limbs closer, pressing your torso against his own, allowing the speckles of stars to rest in the dip of your neck. Mouth still wide in a grin, he exhales warmth, raising tiny mountains up your throat and encouraging you to wrap your arms loosely around your star turned human boy.
“Am I not allowed to be happy at eight in the morning?”
Genre: Fluff Characters: Jungkook, Reader (+ Bam) Warnings: Slight bad language, but that’s it. Just fluff. Description: While on vacation with you and his band members, Jungkook notices his new puppy, Bam, is gone. Word Count: 560 (Just a little drabble) A/N: I know, I know… you guys are waiting for the update for The Bath House, and it is coming! I promise. But I just had this little scenario in my head that I needed to put out there. Hope you enjoy! x
“Hey hyung, where’s my dog? Have you seen Bam?” Jungkook asked, furrowing his brows in confusion as he took a quick look around the living room.
“No, he’s not in here.” Yoongi responded, not looking up from his game of Mario Kart, where he was concentrating on trying to keep up with Jin’s Yoshi. “I think Y/N took him to her bedroom to play with.”
Jungkook smirked and rolled his eyes, knowing that he should’ve assumed you were up to your puppy stealing antics once again.
“Ok thanks.” He responded, leaving the living room to go up the stairs of the vacation rental, to find you in your temporary bedroom.
You were laying on your side on the bed, back towards the door, completely oblivious to your doe-eyed best friend leaning against the door frame with a grin on his face. You were too preoccupied with Jungkook’s new puppy Bam, who you had only just met this weekend but had fallen absolutely in love with. You cooed at him, petting behind his floppy ears and giggling over his paws that he hasn’t quite grown into yet.
“I found the puppy thief.” Jungkook finally spoke up, causing you to turn your head to look at him over your shoulder.
“Puppy thief? He loves me. He’s spending quality time with his auntie Y/N.” You giggled, turning your attention back to the puppy.
“Auntie Y/N? You’re such a weirdo.” Jungkook teased, chuckling to himself.
“I’M a weirdo? Ok, sure. Taehyung put this poor baby’s ear in his mouth and nobody bats an eye, but I’m the weird one for taking him up here for snuggles. Makes perfect sense.” You playfully sassed back.
Jungkook snorted at your remarks, walking over to the bed to see your hand continuing to scratch in Bam’s favorite spot, right behind his ear.
“You know what I think? I think somebody’s jealous that he’s not getting snuggles.” You told Bam. Jungkook shook his head at the cuteness of you talking about him to his dog.
“You’re really talking shit about me to my dog? Unbelievable.” He smirked.
“Hey! No cussing in front of the baby.” You playfully scolded, turning back to Jungkook. “But I think I’m right. If you wanted snuggles, you could come in and join us, instead of ruining our time together.”
“You know what Y/N? You’re right.” Jungkook said, earning a glare from you.
He crawled onto the bed next to you, forcing you to move over to accommodate him while Bam’s slightly disturbed from the movement, lifting his head up to see what was happening. Jungkook put an arm over you, reaching over to pet the dog while managing to keep you close, something he considered an added bonus.
“You were definitely right, Y/N, this is so much better. I guess I was just jealous.” He teased, smirking as he knew he won.
You looked at Bam, who’s big puppy eyes were looking right back at you, his tail wagging at the attention he was receiving.
“You see this, Bam? This bitch called my bluff.”
Jungkook laughed, and you smiled at the feeling of his warm breath tickling your skin.
“What happened to no cussing in front of my dog?” Jungkook asked, lightly pinching your arm, causing you to giggle.
“Fine. You win.” You conceded, just content with the feeling of being in Jungkook’s arms.
Both for smut and difficult themes (abuse, trauma, therapy, mental health etc)
As a female POC, I write from my experiences and feelings … and things I’ve worked on in therapy. I do not have lived experience to write on certain topics, or writing certain pairings and will not do so. The love interest is female bc that’s my experience and unless someone states their preference in sexual partner, I will largely write male x female with few exceptions (Codename Cupid). As a POC, there will be undertones of my minority existence in my work, some explicit (Peace) some covert. I am also a scholar of African American Studies and write blackness from a place of knowledge and lived experience.
If you’re under 18 - pls close the tab until you are 18.
[5.06 pm] Jungkook smiled mischievously before killing your character for the 100th time that day and kissed your cheek, running away from you soon after and leaving you cursing at him before you got up and chased your boyfriend around the house.
Request from @certainuncertainty11: “taekook x reader drabble where they encourage her to take a break when she’s pushing herself too hard to finish a project”
You needed to finish. You had thought setting yourself a time limit would make you more productive.
It wasn’t working.
2 hours, 11 minutes and 17, 16, 15, 14, 13….
“Baby?” Taehyung pouted from the doorway.
You steeled yourself to say no, because you needed to get this done. You needed to finish this project so that you could move on to the next and still have time. You needed to finish this project so that you can enjoy time with the people you love.
One of which was pouting and moving in. “Come on, baby, you’ve been at it for hours. Come have dinner with us.”
“I have to finish,” You pressed, typing and then deleting a sentence. You fidgeted with the size of the images for the ten-thousandth time, settling on the size they were before.
“You have to eat,” Jungkook said, now in the space Taehyung had formerly occupied, drying his hands on a towel.
You turned back to the screen. “I’ll eat after I’ve finished.”
Taehyung tugged your chair back and slid between you and the computer. “Baby.”
“I have to finish,” You repeated, a little desperately.
“And you will,” Jungkook said casually, coming over and sliding his arms over your shoulders in a loose hold. “But not if you keep pushing yourself. You’re just stressing yourself out.”
“He’s right,” Taehyung plied gently. “You’ll make more progress if you take a break and come back to it. Fuel your body, fuel your mind, right?”
You wavered.
Taehyung kissed your forehead. “Please? I’ll even sit in here and be your sounding board. You can torture me for hours.”
“So my work is torture to you?” You objected.
“No, but sitting still is,” Taehyung quickly answered, spreading his hands. “I had lots of sugar.”
“Sounds like your problem,” Jungkook muttered. “Come on, sweetheart. I made your favorite.”
“My favorite?” You murmured, wavering a little more. “Really?”
“Of course, honey,” Jungkook answered and kissed your ear. “Please come eat? Before it gets cold? Your project isn’t going anywhere. I’ll fight anyone who gives you a hard time, including you.”
“He’s been threatening to fight me, too. Please save me and come eat,” Taehyung pleaded.
You sighed, and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”
“Yay!” Taehyung cheered, turning and saving everything open on your screen before closing the laptop. “There.”
Jungkook released you to help you to your feet. “It’ll all turn out just fine, my love.”
Goal: Get Seokjinnie, Namjoonie, and Tae-Tae married to their own Mrs. Kims!
Ratings:
Hearts - up to 93% compatibility based on screening questionnaire
Gold Stars - up to 80% compatibility
Silver Stars - up to 70% compatibility
Bronze Stars - up to 60% compatibility; all others fail to make the list
Black Circle -
Bachelorettes:
1. Cho Gyeong ❤️
Investment banker. Wants 3 kids. Seems to be a kind if slightly awkward girl. Very astute. She and Namjoon would have really bright, accomplished kids. Not sure if Namjoon will appreciate her characteristics right from the get-go, though.
2. Lee Kamou ❤️
Bank teller. Wants 4 kids. Jin would have fun with this one for sure. Reminds me a little of that one co-worker he has. She seems like she’s holding something back whenever she talks? Not sure if she’s shy about something, or reticent to share something. Should investigate further.
3. ??
4. ??
5. ??
6. ??
7. ??
8. ??
9. ??
10. ??
11. ??
12. ??
13. Song Mari ⚫
Hmm. I guess… Notes to be added? Though I don’t really see the point, given that this is just a favor.
@ultimatenoona Ahhh I’m so glad to hear from you! Thank you for reading along with me! I can’t tag you for some reason so I really hope this finds you!!
OK so after Bongseon x Jihu, Sad Girl is the character that gets the most love haha! So, in addition to the AMOMK Starter Pack for anyone who wants to jump in and learn more about the project backstory, I’ll be sharing some other supplemental materials in the next few mins!
Hope you find these fun little treats to be interesting and sweet, but also, I hope they show just how collaborative this project is! It’s been nearly a YEAR in the making, and you all have contributed so much. At this point, I’m really just trying to capture, connect, and share the awesomeness! I haven’t really done this with a fic before, and I hope you enjoy!
Alrighty, back to our dear Sad Girl! There is so much, but here are some selected drabbles to give context!
Warnings: Some cuss words and Yoongi being a lovesick puppy
Word Count: 3.7k (wow that’s the longest one shot I’ve ever written)
Summary:It’s your birthday and Yoongi doesn’t know what to get you. He has a huge crush on you and he wants everything to be perfect.
—
Your birthday was tomorrow. You knew it, your best friend knew, the boys knew it, Yoongi knew it. How could Yoongi forget one of the most important days of the year? Well, it wasn’t as important as everyone was hyping it up to be, but it was for Yoongi. Especially because he had the biggest crush on you since Jimin introduced you to him and the others over a year ago. And he was going to use this day to finally tell you how he felt, using the advice Jimin gave him.
The only problem was, he didn’t know what gift to get you. You were supposed to be meeting up at their dorm tomorrow afternoon so they could celebrate with you and Minah, one out of two of your best friends, and he still had no idea what to buy.
Even as he stood in the middle of the shopping mall about a mile from the dorm, he was clueless and running out of time. So he did what he thought of as a last resort and dialed a number.
The boy on the other line answered with a tired ‘Hello?’, making it clear to Yoongi that he had just woken up from a nap. “Jimin-ah, I need your help.”
“Are you trying to find a gift for Y/N but you have no idea what to get her so you’re calling me to see if I can give you an idea of what to buy since I’m her best friend and I know her better than she knows herself?” That left Yoongi speechless.
Jimin knew of the older boy’s crush on you, hell, all the boys did. Even Minah, who was also one of the densest people in all of Korea, knew. Everyone could tell by the way Yoongi’s mood would lift every time you walked into the room, his obvious attempts of getting closer to you on movie nights, spending hours in his studio showing you songs he’d been working on, even letting you hear him sing after he swore he didn’t have the ability to. And when you told him you loved his songs and his voice, he felt his heart do a backflip in his chest. But somehow, you didn’t notice.
“How the fuck did you know that?” Jimin rolled his eyes so hard, Yoongi could practically hear it.
“You’re so easy to read when it comes to her, hyung.” The Busan boy sighed, sitting up in his bed once he realized he wasn’t getting any more sleep. “You already know Y/N’s really into photography, and I just happen to know her camera just broke. She needs a new one.”
Yoongi’s eyes widened, wondering to himself how he didn’t think of that before. “Thanks Jiminie, I owe you.” Jimin mumbled a simple ‘hell yeah you do’ and hung up the phone, but not without reminding Yoongi how much he loved him. The older male externally gagged, but internally smiled.
He knew you would never accept a brand new camera from him, but he was going to force you to take it, since he knew how much photography meant to you. He couldn’t live with himself if he knew you couldn’t do the thing you loved, and that he had a way to help. So he walked into Best Buy and made a beeline to the camera section. He knew absolutely nothing about cameras, but he was lucky to have a worker show him the best one for taking 4K pictures. Yoongi thought you’d really like an upgrade from your previous camera, which was kinda crappy considering that you got it for cheap.
Oh yeah, Yoongi thought, Y/N is definitely going to kill me. The boy, who usually kept his feelings to himself, found himself smiling at the thought of what your reaction would be. You’d definitely give him the worst death glare you could muster up, but he knew you would be actually trying your hardest not to cry. So as he swiped his credit card in the card reader, his excitement to give you this gift only grew.
Yoongi sat at his desk later that night, ignoring the calls of all the boys and their questioning of the bag he had in his hands. He pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, getting to work on the second half of his gift for you.
Meanwhile, you were laying on Minah’s bed while staring up at the ceiling, your best friend sitting on her desk chair. You had no idea what she was doing, but you didn’t question it. Everyone seemed to be keeping something from you lately. First, Minah begged you to sleep over, then you caught her talking to Jimin on the phone about god knows what. Now, she was telling you that the two of you were going over to the boys’ dorm because she forgot her favorite sweater there.
You fished your phone out of your pocket and texted the only person you thought you could get information out of.
If Hoseok didn’t know anything, that means they probably kept him out of it. He was probably the worst liar you had ever met, he couldn’t keep a secret to save his life. But you dropped the subject as soon as Minah stood up from her desk chair. She gestured for you to move over so she could get in the bed too. Back in Busan, you, Minah, and Jimin had been sleeping in the same bed since you all were in diapers, so this wasn’t weird at all to either of you.
“Minah?” You spoke in a soft voice, causing the girl to turn to look at you.
“What’s up?”
You bit your lip, thinking for a second. “What if everyone forgot my birthday? The only person that has said anything about it was Hoseok.”
Minah had to keep herself from smiling. “I’m sure everyone remembers, there’s still a half hour until your actual birthday. Don’t worry, okay?”
You took her word for it, trying your best to calm your racing thoughts. For the next half hour, you and Minah talked about memories you both had from middle school, including the time the two of you drew all over Jimin’s face in middle school when he fell asleep in class. He was still holding a grudge against the two of you for that.
Before you knew it, the alarm clock on Minah’s bedside read twelve am.
Minah jumped up and wrapped her arms around you, screaming ‘happy birthday!’ so loudly in your ear that you were sure her neighbors heard her. You laughed, the girl’s strength knocking you down on the bed while you hugged her back.
“Thank you, now get off of me!” As soon as she did, your phone rang. It was your parents calling you from Busan to wish you a happy birthday. You thanked them, making sure to tell them that you were gonna visit soon before you hung up. Other than that, you had no more calls. Not even from the person you wanted to call you the most, Yoongi.
Everyone knew about your crush on Yoongi, the two of you were really bad at hiding your feelings. But apparently you weren’t, because neither you nor Yoongi knew how the other felt.
Every time you hung out with him and the boys, you always found yourself smiling more than usual whenever he talked to you. And the moments you two spent in his studio listening to a song he wanted to show you only made your stomach fill with butterflies. He seemed to get you more than anyone else did, not even Minah and Jimin. You also couldn’t forget how gentle he always was with you, despite what people have said about him having a cold exterior. Whenever you had a movie night with the boys, Yoongi would always end up sitting next to you, even sharing his blanket with you when you got cold. He’d scold you whenever he caught you speaking badly about yourself, telling you never to do that again. Whenever you were upset and needed comfort, he always let you call him no matter what time of night it was. You couldn’t help but fall for him, which is why you felt disappointed when you didn’t get a text or call from him at midnight.
Your lips turned down in a small frown, but Minah didn’t notice. Instead, she explained that the two of you should sleep so you could go to the boys’ dorm early in the afternoon. You turned onto your side, pulling the covers over your shoulder as you closed your eyes and let sleep take over you.
–
You woke up to the sound of a higher pitched male voice singing happy birthday. As your eyes opened, you noticed it was Jimin singing to you while holding a cupcake with a single candle in it, Minah smiling widely behind him. They gave you a second to sit up in Minah’s bed, a wide smile taking over your features. You closed your eyes, making a single wish before blowing out the candle on the cupcake Jimin was holding out for you. He set it on the nightstand, allowing you to jump into your best friend’s arms and thank him profusely. Jimin’s arms picked you up and lifted you off of the bed, spinning you around once before setting you down on the floor.
“Happy birthday, loser.” You laughed, reaching up to ruffle the boy’s hair.
“Yah, that’s noona to you.” You honestly didn’t care about honorifics, but you did it just to tease Jimin about your one year age difference like you always did. He rolled his eyes, pushing your hand away from him while you laughed even more.
“Now go brush your teeth and put on something nice after you shower, you stink.” Minah pushed you towards her bathroom, leaving you confused. If you guys were only going to the dorm to pick up her sweater, why did you need to wear something nice? At this point you learned not to question anything Minah said, so you just went along with it and started getting ready.
About an hour later, you were dressed in a black skirt and a matching black blouse that you found in Minah’s closet after you forgot your clothes at your house. All you did to your hair was brush it out and style it a little, but you liked the way the wavy style looked on you. Once you stepped out of the room, you found Jimin and Minah whispering about something, with Jimin briefly looking down at his phone.
After you cleared your throat to get their attention, they turned to look at you.
“Perfect, let’s go.” Jimin grabbed your hand and brought you over to the door, telling you to put on the black low top vans you came in before leading you and Minah to his car. Throughout the entire car ride to Bangtan’s apartment building, Minah kept bouncing excitedly in her seat. Jimin on the other hand, kept telling her to stop before he threw her out of his porsche.
Soon enough, the three of you arrived at the building, making your way up the familiar elevator before walking down the hall. You were about to put in the code to the front door before Jimin slid in front of you so he could do it himself. What a child.
He sent a quick text from his phone before putting in the door code. The lights were off inside the big apartment, and you wondered where the boys were. Were they all out and Jimin was the first one home? Dismissing the thought, you took your shoes off at the entrance and put on the slippers the boys got you a few months into your friendship with them. You were about to start looking for Minah’s sweater until all of a sudden, the lights turned on and six boys jumped up screaming.
“Surprise!” You would’ve fell on your ass if it wasn’t for Minah who caught you from behind, everyone laughing at your reaction. All around you were balloons and streamers in an array of colors, the entire living area of the dorm looking festive.
You started tearing up, your hand fanning your eyes as you looked around at the seven boys – plus Minah – that planned this surprise party for you.
“You guys did all of this for me?” They all nodded, all of them running over to hug you before you could burst into tears. You hugged all of them individually, each boy wishing you a happy birthday. Hoseok came up to you, wrapping his arms around you in a friendly hug. Aside from Jimin, Hoseok was the next boy you considered as one of your closest friends in Bangtan.
“I swear, Y/N, I didn’t know anything about this until an hour ago.” You laughed, hugging the boy tightly.
Next was Yoongi. He walked up to you with a smile on his face, holding his arms out for a hug. Your arms wrapped around his neck as his wrapped around your waist, your heart doing backflips and somersaults in your chest.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you to say happy birthday at midnight, they took my phone so I couldn’t contact you and ruin the surprise,” He spoke, his lips right next to your ear making his soft voice send shivers through your body. You hugged him for a second longer than the other boys before pulling back from the hug.
“It’s okay, I wasn’t worried.” That was a lie, but you decided that Yoongi didn’t need to know that.
The two of you walked over to the living room where the rest of the party was, your body immediately taking a seat next to Seokjin when he offered you one of the switch remotes to play Mario Kart with him.
That’s how the party went for the next few hours. A Mario Kart tournament between you and your eight friends took up a lot of the time, but you ended up beating everyone. You knew all of them had let you win, because there was no way you could beat Seokjin, Jungkook, AND Taehyung. But you didn’t mind, you got a crown made out of paper as your prize.
At last, it was gift opening time. Everyone sat on the living room floor, letting you use the couch as your throne as you opened each gift.
“I told you guys not to get me anything.” You whined, earning a bunch of comments from the peanut gallery to shut up and open your gifts.
So that’s what you did, starting with a gift from Jungkook. He got you the new pair of vans you’ve been wanting and were telling him about last week. Taehyung got you a gucci necktie to match his, Hoseok got you a pin that says ‘I <3 New Zealand’ from when they visited the year before (which you laughed at), Seokjin got you an Eevee plushie to match his, Namjoon got you a copy of the book he was reading which you asked him for a while ago, and Jimin got you a signed cd of his single ‘Promise’. After each of the boys gave you their gifts, you hugged each of them and made sure to tell them how much you really liked everything.
Then Yoongi gave you his. It was in a wrapped box and it felt heavy. You prayed that he didn’t get you something expensive, after you specifically told everyone not to buy you anything expensive. But you carefully opened it anyway, the wrapping paper revealing the box of a brand new Canon camera. A chorus of surprised sounds came from everyone, your eyes widening while looking down at the box. This camera was a huge upgrade from the shitty one you had before, which broke after some random guy bumped into you while you were taking pictures one day.
“Min Yoongi, I’m gonna kill you.” You mustered the best death glare you could give him. If looks could kill, the boy would be six feet under by now.
“Well I’m not taking it back, and there’s no refunds or returns so you have to accept it.” He wore a smug smile on his face that you wanted so badly to wipe off completely. You would definitely murder him in his sleep later.
You set the box down next to you and sighed in defeat, going over to hug him too.
“Thank you, it really means a lot to me.” Your voice was soft as you thanked him, and you could feel him smile against your cheek. You were about to go back to your seat when Yoongi stopped you.
“Actually, there’s something else I have for you,” He looked around at the curious eyes of everyone staring up at him, “in private.”
This set off another chorus of ‘woah’s from all of the boys, Minah only snickering in the corner. After telling them all to shut up, Yoongi stood and gestured for you to follow him to his room. You stood and followed closely behind him, ignoring the stares you felt on the back of your head.
Yoongi led you into his room and closed the door behind him so you two would have privacy. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest, wondering why he brought you here.
“So I kinda wrote you a small note, and I didn’t want you to read it in front of everyone so I brought you here.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper, handing it to you with red cheeks. You didn’t know how to react except for responding with a small ‘thank you’ before opening the note.
Dear Y/N,
I kinda feel like an idiot writing this letter to you, but I didn’t know how else to tell you. Okay I’m just gonna say it, I like you. Like really like you. I like spending time with you, whether it’s with the boys or alone, I like showing you the songs I’m working on, I like when you sit close to me on movie nights, I like when you smile and literally light up any room you walk into, I like how little strands of your hair fall into your eyes and you don’t even notice it, I like the way your dimples pop out every time you smile, I like everything about you. I really like the way I feel when I’m around you, like I get this tingly feeling in my stomach and I can feel my heart do little flips in my chest, and I just feel really happy when I’m around you. Everything in me just wants to keep you happy, because you look really beautiful when you smile, and your laugh is probably more contagious than Hoseok’s (and that’s saying a lot). My point is, I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve right now and I just wanted to ask you something.
P.S: Look back up at me when you’re done reading this.
You had tears in your eyes by the time you looked back up at a nervous Yoongi, his hands shoved in his front pockets to keep himself from fidgeting with them.
“Now that you know my feelings, will you please be my girlfriend?” Yoongi couldn’t tear his eyes away from yours, not until he heard your answer. Right now, he was giving his heart to you in hopes that you wouldn’t break it. He was revealing a vulnerable side of him that only you got to see, and that he had never shown anyone.
You smiled as a few tears slipped past your eyelids, which made Yoongi immediately go into panic mode.
“Oh shit, did I do something? I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that-“ You cut him off by chuckling lightly, shaking your head.
“Shut up and kiss me, idiot.” Your hands reached up to rest on his cheeks, pulling his face closer to yours until your lips met his. Almost immediately, his hands rested on your waist, pulling your body closer to his.
The kiss lasted a little less than ten seconds before both of you hesitantly pulled back just enough to look at each other’s faces.
“Yes,” You spoke softly, causing a confused look to take over Yoongi’s face. Laughing lightly, you realized he completely forgot about his question. “I’ll be your girlfriend.”
Yoongi smiled his gummy smile that you absolutely adored, his arms wrapping around your waist to hug you again. The size of your smile mirrored his as your hands ran through his hair.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this.” His head pulled back, leaning down to kiss you again. You broke the kiss after a second, though, much to his dismay.
“As much as I just want to kiss you all night, we have a crowd of people waiting for us outside.” Yoongi whined, only making you laugh more. But you were serious about going back out there, taking hold of his hand and walking back out of his room. The two of you walked hand in hand back to the living room, smiling at all of the surprised faces staring back at you.
“Finally!” Jimin called out, earning himself a slap on the back of the head from Seokjin. But everyone agreed with Jimin’s opinion, congratulating you and Yoongi.
You all decided to end the night with cake and a movie. Everyone called for you to pick the movie while Minah got up to grab the cake in the kitchen, so you picked ‘Toy Story 2’ again. They all started complaining, but you just smiled and pressed play on the screen.
Instead of sitting on the couch like you normally would’ve, you decided to sit on the floor in between Yoongi’s legs, leaning your back against his chest. You felt two strong arms wrap around your waist, looking back to see your now boyfriend looking back down at you with a smile on his face. Making sure no one was looking, you leaned up to quickly kiss his waiting lips before resting your head back on his shoulder, your arms resting on top of his.
Disclaimer:Many of these, if not all, have cuss words in them. They were all written for a target audience of ages 13+. Any similarities between these stories and any others are completely coincidental and unintentional. Please do not copy my work and/or claim it as yours.
